Oval ball antics
A few words, then, on rugby. I can’t hope to change the mind of anyone who’s dead set against it. I realise that I was brought up to enjoy it, and it is hard to bridge the gap between people who are and aren’t raised with a particular taste. But if you’re flirting with the whole thing as a result of the current World Cup, I would encourage you to allow that flirtation to develop into a full-blown romp in the bushes.
Here are ten points in rugby’s favour.
1. Despite undeniable lapses, overall the game has a far sounder moral code than football (and it pains me to say that, you know how I feel about football). Fans from rival teams are allowed to watch the match side by side without the police fearing that they’ll smash each other’s faces in. Episodes of crowd violence are virtually unheard-of. Players do misbehave, but in nowhere near the ways footballers routinely do. The money involved is at nowhere near such a vulgar level. The whole game, in fact, was amateur until about twenty years ago, and on the field too this is evident. Players may question a refereeing decision, but they don’t surround the ref and shove him and send threatening letters to his kids until he changes his mind. Nobody pretends to be injured. Rarely does anyone try to bully the ref into sending off an opponent. And so on. Even rugby’s biggest detractors would be hard pressed to contest the fact that it’s played in a far better spirit than football, and provides a far better example to those watching.
2. The basic rules are actually very simple. You score tries by getting the ball over the other team’s line. You score penalties, awarded for a variety of offences, and drop goals – all of these involve kicking the ball through the posts. That’s it. The intricacies of the game do become quite fiddly, but you don’t need to know any of them to follow and enjoy the game. I don’t think any major sport is so complicated that it’s beyond the understanding of a reasonably interested viewer. I had the rules of rugby and cricket down when I was about 8, so I don’t believe they’re beyond an adult who regularly manages to do things like registering for online banking, driving a car, or having an opinion on tax cuts. It just takes a little bit of time. Watch two games and you’d know what you were doing. One game, if you’re in the company of someone who already knows.
3. England are good at rugby, relatively speaking. They have already won a World Cup in recent times and will quite likely win another quicker than their football counterparts do the same. Supporting England’s rugby team is a much less painful experience than getting behind their footballers. If you are Welsh, Scottish, Irish, Canadian, Australian, South African or New Zealander, it is also true to say your rugby team is stronger than your football team in terms of world standing. (American, maybe not, but that’s probably the only nationality reading this blog which is an exception to the rule.)
4. Also, England will host the World Cup in four years’ time, so if you were to get into it now, you’d be perfectly placed by the time that comes round.
5. The thrill of physical contact in rugby (both types) is worth considering for the neutral, I think. In rugby you get proper huge men smashing up against each other in a fearless and frightening manner. You’d never want to put your body on the line this much but it’s exhilarating to watch others do it.
6. Oh, it’s just great to watch. A player in full flow with the ball is an amazing athletic spectacle. Or a pack moving the ball forward. The athleticism, the artistry. Once you know what to look for, it’s captivating.
7. Being oval, the ball bounces in ever such a funny way.
8. Similar to point 1, but especially if you are female or a non-violent male, rugby makes you feel at home whether you’re watching it at the ground or in the pub. It walks the line between healthy competitive edge and all-out unpleasantness very well. You rarely get the sense, as you might with football, that the people you’re watching with are only a couple of pints away from hitting you in the face with a bottle or saying something homophobic. Don’t get me wrong, you MIGHT. There are plenty of wrong-headed people watching rugby. But overall there’s much more of a sense of camaraderie. It’s hard to beat for that.
9 and 10. My plane is boarding, so that’s where this has to end. But that’s not a bad start, I reckon. If I had had time, the last two points would probably have dwelt on the fact that sometimes a player’s shorts get torn off and it’s funny, and that referees have microphones so you can hear what they’re saying and it’s quite often unintentionally comic.
All right. I’m flying home. If I’ve picked up one new rugby fan by the time I land, this is a success. Thanks.
Posted by cymruangel on September 29, 2011
As a lady person, I also find rugby provides excellent opportunities for bottom-watching. For the not-currently-fans, there is a thing called the scrum, where 16 men all bend over for at least 60 seconds – it is quite marvellous!
(For those complaining about me objectifying men, I refer you to male slavering over beach volleyball)
My friend and I once spent a very pleasant evening at a local rugby ground completely confusing the old men in the crowd behind us by alternating commentary on the match with commentary on the players’ looks. Good times.
Posted by EmT on September 21, 2011
I love the way that, in rugby, the players are only allowed to communicate through the captain and if they give any abuse to the referee they are shown a card. I am not saying this would be the way forward in football as they are two very different sports, but I just like it. I do get a little uncomfortable when football players crowd round the ref. Football refs must have balls of steel, that, or be hard of hearing!
Posted by Sincilbanks on September 21, 2011
“Nobody pretends to be injured”
Harumph! http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/my_club/harlequins/8044453.stm
Which isn’t to say I don’t agree with your general point, but strictly speaking and all that…
Carry on!
Posted by Rachael on September 21, 2011
Have you ever been in a debate team? You are full of good arguments and the fast-talking would be easy for you.
I might watch abit just to see if it is all true, especially about the ball bouncing funny. But really, if we could just have all the things you mention in the first point in football, I would be happy.
Posted by Daniel on September 21, 2011
Hey Mark! I like your run down of rugby, its all true! Can I just say you missed an amazing end to the Welsh game sunday when you had to leave the Imperial, Melbourne at 3pm. You missed Andy Powell taking the ball towards the try line while on his golf cart!! I was the guy who talked to you as you left. All the best
Posted by Andrew on September 21, 2011
I’m not going to argue with any of the above (apart from point 7, which is definitely a flaw rather than a strength) because, let’s face it, the way in which a sport either grabs someone or doesn’t isn’t that far removed from how a joke or a piece of music does – it’s intangible, it’s visceral, it’s not an application of logic. But I would like to take a moment to look at point 1. I agree with every word of it, and I have often thought how instantly football could be improved if the attitude of players towards the officials could be transposed. But I would like to caution against the idea that rugby is a sport which somehow, by its nature, engenders respect, good behaviour and manners, and that there is something similarly innate in football which does the opposite. I don’t think you’re suggesting that, but it’s an illogical leap which is often made. There are, of course, complex sociological and historical reasons why rugby players and fans largely know how to behave and football players and fans often don’t. I’m not qualified to analyse them and I’m not going to oversimplify them, but I’m sure you know what I’m alluding to. The point is, it’s the nature of the people that creates the ambience around the two sports, not the nature of the sports which creates the people. The reason this is a particular bone of contention with me is that for a decade or so I’ve worked with a man who misses no opportunity to dismiss all football fans – all of us – as morons, sheep and hooligans, precisely because (solely because) we like football. I’ve had a season ticket to the football for 17 years now, and I don’t think I’m being overly kind to myself to say I am not a moron, sheep or hooligan. I grow weary of being told that rugby fans are morally superior to me just because of their choice of sport. But, again, I don’t think you were saying that, just pointing out the different fan experiences associated with the two sports, which is indisputable fact.
Posted by Cathy (traineeflorist) on September 21, 2011
Woop woop for Lydia!
Posted by Anji on September 21, 2011
My best friend is really into rugby, and just before you first started the helpful conversion talk, I had just agreed I would go to a game – now I’ve only watched one game on tv and was confused and tend to glaze over whenever anyone talks about it. So this will act as my pocket guide so I at least seem to know what’s going on! I shall let u know how it goes etc!
Posted by Michelle on September 21, 2011
This has possibly convinced me to at least watch a rugby match on TV some time… but it’s definitely got me questioning the wisdom of my slowly growing interest in football. Hmmm…
Posted by Jen on September 20, 2011
Big congrats Lydia-fab news!Jx
…I agree point 7 definitely swayed it for me!
Posted by Sarah on September 20, 2011
Sorry, just realised I went straight for the shorterned version of your name, it is what my friend goes by. Apologies for the over familiarity.
Posted by Sarah on September 20, 2011
Yay Lyds, well done on the job that is fantastic news. Have a great weekend celebrating, just don’t celebrate too hard
Posted by Suzanne aka Senior Watsonian on September 20, 2011
FANTASTIC news, Lydia … WELL DONE!!!
I think you’re right about the magical powers of Watsonians … all stems from the man himself!!!
Enjoy the rest of the week, your new job and life starting next Monday xx
Posted by Lydia on September 20, 2011
I like point seven.
I got a job! They interviewed me and they liked me and they gave me a job. I start on Monday.
Have decided that Watsonians possess some magical powers.
Posted by Misha on September 20, 2011
Too true about the non-violence of Rugby fans. Living in Cardiff for a year I was initially nervous of all the big burly rugby fans on match day, but they’re harmless really. Even to weedly little English Girls like myself.
I do rather like Rugby.
Posted by Sarah on September 20, 2011
Your blog has just prompted me to act on a idea I have been pondering a while. I’m going to find and join a local women’s rugby team. I had to get a basic understanding of some sport in college when I was the only girl in my classes. Rugby and cricket have stayed with me, I enjoy the physical nature and spirit of rugby and the tactics and gentleness of test match cricket. I only need to find a local club who will accept an overweight, unfit woman with a dodgy knee who has not much of an idea about the rules of the game.
One thing you did forget to mention Mark is that rugby players are much more attractive than football players (well to me anyway, but “different blokes for different folks” as my friend says).
Posted by Vicus Scurra on September 20, 2011
Quite right, young man
Posted by Suzanne aka Senior Watsonian on September 20, 2011
Brilliant rugby summary … didn’t expect anything less, of course!
Have a great flight … you’ll no doubt pen a few novels, tweet non-stop, script a new comedy … or few, possibly eat and sleep a little … but debatable!!! Just do it all safely …
And if, IF you can find a nanosecond to spare amongst all the above, could you please respond to my email …
Long may rugby players stay on excellent, lucrative wages but never reach the ridiculous, obscene amounts paid to the football players. A major factor in what’s wrong with that particular game, IMHO …