Literary shame
July 28, 2011 |
33 comments
Did the book event. Hardly anyone there. It was a bit… I’m being encouraged by my management to be more positive on the blog, but it was a BIT humiliating. It was a case of ‘I’m 31, is this where I’ve got to?’ I’d better not say any more except thanks to those who did attend. OK bye.
Posted by Jonathan on July 29, 2011
Just think of the thirty year plan ay? I loved it anyway…
Posted by Allie on July 29, 2011
That’s such a shame, had I lived closer I would definitely been there!! I echo all the positive comments below!
I’m 41 and have a shit job that I hate, apart from bringing up 3 wonderful boys I have not really accomplished much at all, apart from making nice cakes
You are a very well liked man.
Right I think I will go and drink gin n cry with self pity for a while x
Posted by Rachael on July 29, 2011
This song always pops into my head at moments like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIj-6fr2SlI
Posted by Winnie on July 29, 2011
If today was yesterday and I lived closer to London, I would have been there. Eleven is such a fantastic book! Please come to Brighton/Worthing area. If I didn’t just quit my job at Waterstones, I would say you should do a signing there….
Posted by Di on July 29, 2011
Just finished your book last night. Looked up to see the NY Times Book Review piece on it to see if that’s where I got the recommendation. Did that reviewer actually read the book? Not apparent to me.
“pleasing London-set romantic comedy?” Hugh Grant? Hardly. I mean, maybe Hugh Jackman if he got in touch with his darker side and took his shirt off a lot. I thought the “rather charming” comment was a complisult, damning with faint praise.
One of my favorite lines: “At the end, there is a mass chirping and bleeping, like an electric dawn chorus….”
Posted by Andrew on July 29, 2011
And the moral of the story is… don’t make blog postings when you’re feeling low! On the one hand all this reassurance is lovely, but at the same time it’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? We all have moments of “Is this all I’ve managed?”, but it’s pretty obvious that you’ve managed more than most of us. And while I’m fairly sure you didn’t intend the blog above to sound like it was chiding those of us who didn’t make it, it’s clear that’s how it’s been received by many.
Anyway, if it had been in Oxford I would have gone, but it was in London (a place I loathe, but that’s irrelevant in this instance). I’d hazard a guess the same applies to most people who would like to have been there. Not everybody lives in London, a fact which those who do often seem to forget.
Posted by Steven on July 29, 2011
Not sure what to I can say that will add anything to the comments below but he goes anyway!
I think you should be very proud of what you have achieved at 31, I am a mere 10 days older than you and am only now beginning to get where I want to be in life where as you are already a published author, an established tv presenter, one of the countries top comedians and also with all that an extremely friendly and humble man.
I like many others would have been there had circumstances permitted, my own particular problem was the small matter of a 750ish mile round trip to London.
In an effort to cheer you up I make an offer to buy you a drink of your choice when I attend your show at Edinburgh next month and if required tell you how great Eleven is afterwards.
Posted by Jen on July 29, 2011
Already commented (see below for details) but just thought I’d tel u I’m wearin my Watsonian t shirt today…oh yes,I went there,I ad it made for the DVD recording – I’ve been told its ‘stylish’…now that’s gotta make u smile!!Jx
Posted by Sarah on July 29, 2011
So sorry Mark. I was planning to come (booked the day off work and everything). However I try to spend the day in London to warrant the journey and I didn’t realise the kids had broken up.
Spending a day in London with screaming brats isn’t my idea of fun (can you tell I’m not a fan?)
Plus work colleagues were giving me serious earache about me “dumping my friends and colleagues for a comedian again” as I had planned a social before you had mentioned yesterday. I’m afraid to say I caved in
Very sorry. I will be there for your next one (unless it is in the school holidays).
Posted by sarahthemonkey2 on July 29, 2011
Agree with the comments about it being an inmitate event for those who could make it. However I was working last night in a supermarket last night in Inverurie last night so there was no way I could of made it. Would of liked to be there for.
I find a good night sleep always helps me, must go as I’m packing for holidays and it’s getting to that stressful part.
Posted by Katie K on July 29, 2011
As others have said, you are indeed a multi-talented man, who has only just begun his early 30′s, with a loving family & with so much more to full fill in life, you make so many people happy & I only wished I could have the same ability to do half of what you’ve achieved & I’m only 5 years younger than you. For what might have been a shit turn out, you still have so many friends & supporters, if I had the same love & friendship & network of support, then maybe I might gain the strength to pursue with my novel & poetry performing. Um, sorry, I’ve gone on far too long, beating Cathy no doubt, I’ve had no sleep considering I missed my train last night after getting drunk & embarrassing myself in front of Key, yet again. Must stop talking. Sorry. Katie.
Posted by amycool on July 29, 2011
So in summary, there would have been loads of people, had someone invented a device that gets you to places in an instant and can travel in time (a TARDIS). So don’t feel down about it because the lack of working TARDIS’s is not your fault!
I’m 26 and working in a job that utilises none of my mental capabilities on a low wage, with a smashed up car, a house with dodgy plumbing and virtually nothing in the bank. You’ve written and published novels, toured the country loads of times, produced a new human being and created an on-line community of hundreds of people. This is indeed where you’ve got to and it’s so much better than where most other people have got to. You should be proud of your achievements as are we!
Posted by Nuala on July 29, 2011
Hope you’re feeling more positive today x
Posted by Alex on July 29, 2011
You know, most people NEVER publish several novels/have tv shows/start a cult, 31 or not. I reckon you’re doing alright. Sorry it didn’t go well. Reading all the other comments it seems a bit too obvious to say that personally I loved Eleven, but I really did. Have now lent it to my sister and my dad. Slowly, we will take over the world. Chin up. x
Posted by LisaD on July 29, 2011
Small crowds happen. And they suck; there’s no way to escape feeling low when it happens. Nevertheless where you’ve got to at 31 is: you make a living doing what you love, have a lovely family, are a published novelist (in several languages) and have a solid fan base, many of whom not only read your blog everyday but identify themselves by adding “ians” to your last name. Where you are is in a much lovelier place than the vast majority of 31 year olds. As an added bonus you’re really charming, funny, talented and generally awesome. As my dad would say: buck up buttercup!
Posted by Megan on July 29, 2011
Oh, poo. A punch in the self-esteem is never a good thing. I’m sorry to hear it. But as others have said, you’ve accomplished a helluva lot. This event just wasn’t a stonking success. Life goes on. Find someone to blame. Like Tibor on the Simpsons. Even if he is imaginary. (http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Tibor)
Also, you are miles ahead of me in terms of ‘accomplishments’ and I’m 34. Example: I got a call at 3:30am to tell me the burglar alarm went off at work, then tonight I had to make a mad dash to the bus station to send a film to a cinema at the other end of the province. Least glamourous showbiz job ever is mine, darlin’.
And I don’t even have a spouse and/or child to go home to!
(Still, mostly happy with my life. Mostly.
)
Posted by Knox on July 29, 2011
Hey! First off, sorry again for being a shite watsonian, and not turning up tonight. Feel much worse seeing this than I did earlier.
As for ‘I’m 31, is this where I’ve got to?’, would that not kind of be discounting the actual success and critical feedback on ‘eleven’, your stand-up career to date, a brilliant wife and an equally brilliant baby, and thousands of devoted (yes, despite being unable/shit at turning up to book events) fans?!?!?!
I will not start a comparison thing (much…) – suffice to say – 32 – not married (though my younger sister’s managed it twice) – three degrees to my name (including a professional qualification) and i’m basically a glorified administrator.
you’ve had two shitty things happen in the past week, which is more than horrible. on the flipside, you were asked to fly to canada to appear on a show, which i think is quite a nice thing.
please don’t feel like you have reason to be humiliated.
oh yeah, final thing – remember that film festival i did down in portsmouth, that was going to REVOLUTIONISE the world, and only about 5 people turned up – over the whole weekend – after having booked speakers and the cinema for two days (albeit for just about free!)?! you told me that it was brilliant that i’d even done it. so – you’ve written an amazing book – lots of people (i’m sure more than just us blog-fans) have bought it and read it and thought it really rather good – even *you* admit it’s good, so it must actually be amazing (i also bought it twice, so i reckon that’s a sign too).
anyways, to sum up (finally) this is just to say – sometimes even though you put a load of effort in, sometimes a host of things combine to make it feel like it was wasted. it wasn’t – it isn’t – and it certainly isn’t grounds for wondering what you’ve achieved in your 31 years.
Posted by Misha on July 28, 2011
Oh mark, if I could’ve gone I would’ve.
Next time I see you you’re getting a hug man.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on July 28, 2011
Ah mate, that’s rubbish. Am I allowed to say ‘Fuck it, you’re fabulous’ again?
If not, here’s a video of a baby hippo dancing underwater. That’ll make your day brighter, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkIJDXCiZsk&feature=player_embedded
Posted by Sam on July 28, 2011
I’d have liked to have been there. I did a gig with very few people tonight, there were the comedians who sat out of sight, two of my friends and two friends of the organiser. Some over people periodically drifted up and left. And I couldn’t do the material I had planned as doing an exagerated bit where I pretend to be John Boehner calling out the chinese in a rap-style beef as it was too niche. It was a tough night for all involved. I know you can’t be too negative is it ok if I am on here?
Posted by Emily Williams on July 28, 2011
I love you Mark Watson and I would never miss out on a book event of yours if you came to cheltenham!!!! THINK ABOUT IT PLEASE!!!!
Posted by Cathy (traineeflorist) on July 28, 2011
I am so worried about you at the moment hun, you’re sort of where I was a few years ago. It took me a while to learn that everything that happens in my life, good or bad, is not actually down to me.
Today was a gorgeous day here in Oxfordshire, not sure what it was like in London, but I would imagine the heat would have made people do one of two things, either feel incredibly exhausted (especially if they’d been at work all day) and totally lacking in energy meaning they didn’t want to do anything apart from climb in the kids’ paddling pool and go to sleep when they got home OR think wow what an amazing summer’s evening, let’s have a bbq/take the kids to the park after work/get the bikes out/walk the dog … outside. you get the idea.
What I’m trying to say, you’re the last person on earth who should feel humiliated, you are a remarkable and talented young man who has achieved far more in his 31 years than most people ever dream of. You should just say, oh well, people were busy doing other things, they didn’t come because they would rather have been doing something else or because, although they wanted to come, they just couldn’t make it.
I’m going on a bit aren’t I? as usual. And I sound like I’m telling you how to think. I need to stop being so maternal … I care, in a sort of cross way
Speaking of which, it was my son’s 22nd birthday today and we went out for a family meal. That’s my (not) excuse
Posted by Suzy on July 28, 2011
Oh and by the way, if you’re thinking ‘I’m 31, is this where I’ve got to?’, while sitting in a book shop knowing that people have read your book that you wrote yourself, and people know your name, and you have a bunch of lovely Watsonians who love you ….. well it’s better than sitting in an office thinking “I’m 38, is this where I’ve got to?”, while knowing that you’ve done nothing special with your life and most likely never will …
There’s always a bright side
xx
Posted by Suzy on July 28, 2011
Aww Mark don’t let this get you down. Your books are brilliant. I’ve even bought Eleven twice cos I wanted it for my Kindle as well as having the paperback already. Trouble with events like this is that not everyone lives in London – your fans are all over the place (which is a good thing) and we can’t all nip to London … as much as we would have loved to. Come to Aberystwyth and I’ll be there like a shot – I’ll sit and listen to you read Eleven for hours
xx
Posted by Josie on July 28, 2011
It’s such a shame. I want to apologise for a) not being there and b) being a shoddy Watsonian! If only you’d done it a couple of days later, I’m actually visiting my cousin this weekend in Maida Vale, but it’s quite difficult to justify popping on a 3 hour train journey any other time.
Posted by Helen on July 28, 2011
Hmm, bit worried it now looks slightly disingenuous if the eighth comment says, ‘would’ve been there but..’.
However, Mr Watson, you will simply have to believe me that I actually would of been there had we not had family over. And I came to the one at Foyles. Which was superb.
You’ve written a bloody good book, that will remain the case forever, low turn outs at book events will not.
Posted by hornseygirl on July 28, 2011
Please don’t be disheartened.
Just as a myriad of circumstances can send things one way; they can also go the other way too.
For my part, I know the LGB; Wood Green is near enough and I very much wished to be there. However, my 19 month old kept me home. Such is life.
Think of it as an ‘intimate’ event for a very lucky select few. I wish I had been one of them.
Posted by Jen on July 28, 2011
I soooo wish I lived nearer – I would have been there like a shot – when I can I do ….Bristol was amazin n Edinburgh next….and just think your Fringe shows have sold out.. You’ve achieved a lot and remained a nice person too..I’m proud to be a Watsonian.Jx ps this will help…I was re-reading Crap at the Environment today in Manchester while sat in sun n some randomer came over n said ‘great read that- you’ll love it!’ – nice eh!
Posted by dawn on July 28, 2011
Arrh don’t worry, we love you!!
We just aren’t in London, London is full of people that are too busy elbowing people out of the way on escalators. You should come to Woking – well you probably shouldn’t, not the place most people want to visit, but I would bring a cake along, if you like cake 
You could do something at the Lightbox, they are like all trendy, and charge people for tickets, for talks! 
Posted by Lizzy on July 28, 2011
Oh God, I honestly thought the book thing was tomorrow. I am honestly a complete idiot. Eejit idiot. Damn. Honestly, would have been there. And also honestly, I really love your writing and think your books are your best thing you do, and I love your other stuff too so, if you see what I mean, I like them a lot. Don’t be disheartened, whatnot. Do do your next book!
And you know, it’s a Thursday night… It’s not the easiest time for people to get places. Sorry for being one less person that could have been there if I had sense. Wanted to ask your advice too. From my point of view where you’ve got to at 31 is pretty amazing, but I guess everyone’s harder on themselves..
Posted by Ally on July 28, 2011
If I didn’t live on the otherside of the world I would’ve been there
Keep up the optimism!
Posted by Anna on July 28, 2011
I work at a book store and just did a review of Eleven for our website. I thought it was an excellent read. I read it in two sittings and found myself thinking about quite a lot afterwards which given my very short attention span I don’t normally do. It also led me to ordering another one of your titles today for our store. (I hope this is positive enough for management.) On that note, positivity and honesty do not usually accompany one another and most people appreciate the honesty more.
Posted by Katy on July 28, 2011