It could have been a brilliant courier
My long-suffering tour manager Giles (to give him his official name) and I were talking, on the motorway over the weekend, about the astonishing number of miles we cover, and wondering whether we could put this travelling to some good use other than my general agenda of making people laugh. We’ve been known to coordinate large-scale logistical projects before, for example in the famous case of Project Preston, when a substantial number of Preston residents were bussed to Blackburn to fill an under-subscribed show on my tour. (If any of those Prestonians are reading, by the way, do you fancy a cheap trip to Manchester or Kendal!? I like the idea of making it a tradition that members of Project Preston get a subsidised show on every tour.)
So anyway, we’ve got a van for this tour. We were thinking perhaps it was time we set up a bespoke courier service, where we pick things up from people at my shows, and deliver them to people at my other shows. For example, you might be coming to Exeter tonight or tomorrow and know someone who’s going to be at the Nottingham show. Why not send them a card or a note? Perhaps you’re heading for Cardiff Glee this Thursday and want to get a package to a friend in Inverness in December. We will take care of it, free.
All you have to do is bring the item or items to the book stall after the shows, where I sit with my collection of thousands of pens donated by Watsonians during the last tour. Give it to me and Giles with an attached note to remind us of desired destination. We will make the delivery, provided the intended recipient is in the audience of a future show, or can get to the theatre at some point during the evening.
We are proud to claim that this is the slowest and smallest courier service in the UK, and so perfect for when you want that special level of care.
Because we are a not-for-profit organisation, we are happy only to take on a minimum of clients. In fact we’ll be happy if we even make one delivery during the tour. It could be your package we take care of. Get thinking about what you might like to send. Your reward will be to be featured on a future blog, where we’ll post pictures of both sender and recipient shaking hands with a triumphant-looking me and Giles.
If you want to pre-arrange a delivery, do leave a Comment to give us prior warning. In the case of multiple orders, priority will be given to the strangest objects for delivery, just as priority for after-show signings during the 2010 tour was given to those who brought X-rays of their knees, inflatable crocodiles, violins and other impressively weird things.
Thank you for reading this and for using Watson Wakely Bespoke Courier Services Limited.
Tomorrow on the blog, some catchup admin: your dreams interpreted, and the winners of the Give a Book to a Foreign Person competition. Also, soon there will be another Very Late Review – there’s still time to post your contribution, go to the last VLR blog to get involved. That’s quite a bit of admin all in all. Well done everyone.
Posted by Sam on June 8, 2011
I shall be taking full use of this.
Also, sorry but would you be able to give a shout out to my comedy society’s 12 hour show this weekends. It’s Sat 11th June 6pm-6am, Groundlings Theatre, Portsmouth. It’s only a fiver with all money going to help keep the theatre open. This close to it we’re quite worried if people will turn up, as stuff like this doesn’t happen in Portsmouth normally and we’d really rather like there to be an audience. It’s quiete Watsonesque, but hopefully more of a homage than a rip-off. For more details people can visit http://tinyurl.com/HH12hr or email heavyhands@upsu.net.
Also thank you for our comic relief plug, that was lovely, and helpful too.
Cheers,and sorry. I feel bad trying to plug stuff here, but the readers should hopefully enjoy this.
Posted by Jen on June 8, 2011
Hehe…great blog/idea…shame it doesn’t apply to people as well or I’d definitely be up 4 a trip to Kendal from Manchester…I could wear a random hat or something if that would make me more likely to get a lift!Jx ps bought Edinburgh tickets today -hooooray…had no Thursday 18th so opted for Fri…late train home …worth it!
Posted by Juliet on June 8, 2011
I assume this service is not available in my area, right?
Today I remembered about the Watsonian census, and the fact that you wanted to know who were these people reading your blog.
I discovered an application that shows me how many people access my blog, and I found out that I’m being read by people from all parts of the world and I WANT TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE. So now I understand a bit better why you wanted to know, it’s strange to think that they know a lot about you and you know nothing about them.
Posted by Joe's Mum on June 7, 2011
Sounds like a great idea, Mark.It was a pleasure and a privilege to be part of Project Preston ( and it certainly wasn’t a chore to see you in Chorley) so we’d definitely be keen for Kendal…
Posted by Rick on June 7, 2011
Hmm. This reminds me of the iPod. Must sort that out – it’s still sitting on my desk here. I’m so sorry Anna… *sheepish face*
Posted by Megan on June 7, 2011
Also, props for a B&S reference.
Posted by Megan on June 7, 2011
Too bad you’re not in Canada. Our postal system is doing this rolling strike thing that’s incredibly irritating and it would be nice to have a private-ish, if slow, courier.
Posted by Anji on June 7, 2011
It’s ok I made it in good time! Phew
Posted by Louise on June 7, 2011
I’d be SO up for another Project Preston, Mark.
Manchester would be more ideal but sure we’d be able to manage Kendal too!
Posted by Katie K on June 7, 2011
Any chance of doing a taxi service? At least that way, I would be able to see one of your shows on the tour, preferably the Bristol DVD recording & I’m sure many others like me, would appreciate the idea of a vanpool.
Posted by Rachael on June 7, 2011
This may be your best/craziest idea yet.
Posted by Anji on June 7, 2011
I love it! Unfortunatly I don’t really know anyone to send anything too, and coming along tonight and being at work right now (working very hard, clearly)and having a mad dash across the city to get to you on time (I’m half afraid I will be the person hearing ‘Kangaroo’s’ or whatever new plan you may have come up with) I don’t have anything to bring along with me! Apart from my Mum, and I quite like having her around! And she may be a bit more hassle transporting around until December!!
But awesome plan all the same. Now I’m going back to working very hard, and looking forward to having a good chuckle tonight, cos I really need something good to laugh about at the moment! (no pressure Mark, you’ll do fine, and sorry in advance if my mad dash leaves me being the late one! Really hoping it’ll all be fine tho…)
Posted by Lora on June 7, 2011
This is brilliant, now just to think of a gift and someone to send it to…
Posted by Lydia on June 7, 2011
Haha, that is such an awesome idea.
It makes me slightly depressed about the fact that most of the people I know are in Devon though, so I don’t really have anything to send.
Posted by Alex on June 7, 2011
I am reading this on my phone on placement. Twitter was talking about how wonderful it is and I couldn’t resist. You did not disappoint. I’ll comment properly later- my supervisors looking at me.
Posted by Georgie on June 7, 2011
Do you and Giles do international deliveries, by any chance? Assuming (and hoping) you’re coming over to Melbourne in September as usual I could probably use your service getting some fun (and tasty) Aussie items to friends in the UK
Posted by Zoe Fell on June 7, 2011
Brilliant. Just…brilliant. Weirdly enough, I’ve got a parcel for Aislinn in my house that I haven’t got around to sending up to her. She’s coming to the Epsom show on the 11th of July, so if I bring it with me tonight, I’d be very grateful if you could pass it on for me.
(I’m also a fan of the pun title. Good work.)
Posted by Misha on June 7, 2011
I have no words for this.
Unless you want to courier me to London on sunday night? I’d be going on Monday morning anyway and I could sleep in the van. I’m not entirely joking.