Topicalia
Today I did a New Zealand panel show called Seven Days. I wrote penal show by accident, and maybe it was a Freudian slip. As you will know I have pretty mixed feelings about these things, because they pretty much always show me at my worst to the greatest number of people. This one was like Mock The Week with more rounds, and the recording went on for (wait for it) four hours. FOUR HOURS. One and a half hours longer than Mock The Week, which itself goes on so long that audience members who queued for hours to get into the studio have been known to gun down BBC security to get OUT of the studio. However, today’s show was enlivened by the fact that I didn’t know anything about NZ current affairs and had not even been in the country for ‘seven days’. This released me from the pressure you sometimes feel on these occasions to do good relevant jokes, which has often proved beyond me. Being ‘not from here’ is a real blessing sometimes. It’s a handicap too, of course – no show is going to be easy when you walk out to strained, polite applause after everyone else has been introduced to defeaning cheers, whooping and the helpless swooning of girls. But I’m used to that. A man swooned once during a show I did in Cheltenham, but it turned out he’d been taken ill.
I have to admit it was an enjoyable show to do, thanks to my fellow guests and the excellent host (a hilarious Kiwi called Jeremy Corbett). I’m either getting marginally better at panel shows or learning to care marginally less. In the unlikely event you are in New Zealand, you can watch the thing this Friday.
Before that, I was on breakfast news, but that was a waste of time which I shall rant about at the next available opportunity.
Updates on running strands:
-The lookalike contest is still being won by the first entrant, posted by Katy and looking remarkably like me it must be said. However, someone on Twitter claims to have an equally strong case. I am awaiting their photo and will post both for you so that we can pick a winner.
-Contining the series of fun things I have overheard: today, a middle-aged man. ‘Well, there’s nothing we can do about it, y’know? The cat is just going to have to look after itself.’
The other news is I have kind of finished one of the two new books. ‘Kind of’ because it will still need enormous work. But at least the workings are there. It’s finished in the sense that the London Underground is finished. All in all I’ve been productive today. Night.
Posted by Ingrid on May 6, 2011
New book!? Kind of finished? Excitement is building!
Posted by Rachael on May 6, 2011
My sister told me she served someone that looked just like you but she didn’t know about the competition at the time
Posted by Deanna on May 6, 2011
despite not being a fan of a)kiwi comics and b)7days i did actually turn on the telebox tonight to see you, mark. you were better than quite a few of the “foreign” guests they have on there. i can’t believe the taping took so long though!
Posted by Steve Doherty on May 6, 2011
No, I don’t know why I gave panel shows capital letters, either.
Posted by Steve Doherty on May 6, 2011
Not caring about Panel Shows and doing better on them are probably 2 sides of the same coin. SD
Posted by MusicalLottie on May 6, 2011
As I have enough trouble hearing people who are actually talking to me, it is a very rare occasion indeed when I overhear anything, let alone anything interesting.
Though I do recall accidentally lip-reading a conversation between a lady and her granddaughter on the train a while ago. I can’t remember what it was about though, because I was so shocked by how plummy their accent was … and also by the fact that I could tell their accent purely by lip-reading. I’ve heard some very posh vowels in my time (usually grammar-school kids bundling onto the train from Bedford/Harpenden/St Albans) but they had an accent posher than I’ve ever actually heard in person – ‘the Queen’s English’ would not be an exaggeration!
(I have nothing against posh-sounding people, or even against people who actually are posh; I was just surprised.)
It’s good to hear you actually enjoyed the panel show
Posted by Rick Procter on May 6, 2011
One other piece of (rather old) ‘running strand’ news – the fabled Prize iPod Package (yes, still travelling the country after more than a year, the poor exhausted little iPod) is actually, finally, nearing the end of its long and outlandishly extensive journey. We’re looking to have it meet up with just a few more people over the next couple of weeks or so, after which it will at last be passed to the winner. So Anna, the wait is almost over. Hope your excitement hasn’t completely drained away over the last 13 months!
Posted by Claire on May 5, 2011
I was being a tourist in Harrods several months ago, and overhead in the cheese section a Dad say to his two children: “Now then, let’s choose something for our Summer residence”!
Posted by Cathy (traineeflorist) on May 5, 2011
I swoon every time I see you Mark. Even if it’s just a photo. Seriously
Posted by Alex on May 5, 2011
More lurky alex is here again. This really does amuse me. Hello lurky Alex.
Congratulations on the book Mark. Exciting.
I may have posted this at some point before but my favourite ever overheard thing was a very posh boy walking past me and my mum saying “he was so upset he just did a poo on it”. I can’t quite decided if I wish I knew the context or not.
Posted by Jen on May 5, 2011
swooning comment made me giggle … glad you’ve had an eventful day…book news is very exciting!!
I heard two things today that made me stop and take note…
man on phone in queue… ” just chop it off it’ll be fine!!”
…….random??!!
girl walking past me…”yep because today the sun is hot”
……just today?..not always..hehe…made me laugh…had to be there…its been a long day…simple things n all that!Jx
Posted by Corey on May 5, 2011
On the subject of ‘Things heard in passing that you will never be able to find out more about’……..I heard this today whilst stood behind 2 people (women) in a sandwich shop:
Woman A: (to Woman B) ”So, the phone rang at exactly the same time last night, and the message was the same”
Woman B: ”What did you do?”
Woman A: ”We did what they asked”
Woman B: ”What…again?”
Woman A: ”Yes, I sent Dave this time though…. but nothing happened. I’m not doing it again”
Woman B: ”Wow……..what did Dave think?”
Woman A: ”Went back to sleep!’
Posted by Tibbs on May 5, 2011
I’ve seen one or two episodes of 7 Days; I seem to recall thinking it was slightly less aggressive than some of the British panel shows. Will have to try to track down your episode when it airs.
Also very exciting book news!
Posted by alex (the other, more lurky one) :) on May 5, 2011
Ah! Pipped at the post by the inimitable Misha!
Hope you are doing well at the mo, and that freedom from crap courses and whatnot is making your life better, Misha
Posted by alex (the other, more lurky one) :) on May 5, 2011
Well done on your book draft! You crazy crazy human.
Oh dear. Corbett. *headdesk*
He and the rest of the whole sort of generally embarrassing mishmash is emblematic of the reason I go elsewhere (12,000 miles elsewhere) for my comedy. I’m sure he is perfectly fine on the first go, but try 15 years of him all up in your grill.
Looking forward to hearing about the sea of oppressive awkwardness that was bound to be breakfast TV. Didn’t watch. Threw away my TV years ago in despair, partly at Corbett and his ilk, partly at breakfast TV and partly at all of the rest of it. Dreadful. I feel sorry and uncomfortable that you had to undergo the indignity of it. It’s like having a new friend round for dinner and then realising you forgot to clean the shit off the walls, there are undies everywhere, and the contents of your fridge have become sentient and are trying to infect your visitor with something nasty.
Sorry. All that negativity got away on me a bit. I’m sure everyone’s lovely and always hilarious in all the right ways and places. I am the very model of a big optimistic love-athon.
Ooh, since I have first dibs this time, I wonder what sorts of things other than pens you’re after these days?
Usual lurking service will resume shortly. Stand by…
Posted by Misha on May 5, 2011
Goodnight Mark, you still owe me cake.