Happiness is a drawn one (as in the number one) (this song-title pun doesn't quite work, I don't think)
Well, I did the draw. It was surprisingly nerve-racking occasion, what with being at Wembley and knowing it was going out live to the football community of the nation. Luckily I managed not to drop the balls on the floor or faint or punch anyone. And in fact I excelled myself by drawing Crawley, the smallest team in the competition (and ball number one), against Manchester United – the kind of fairytale match which everyone hopes will emerge from these draws. It might have LOOKED like I was just fishing balls, at random, out of a sort of tub, while standing next to a man so big that he could plausibly have eaten me and not looked much different. But there’s a lot more skill in it than that. Oh yeah. A whole lot more. Nothing was made official on the say, but I assume that after my success I will be conducting all draws for FA Cups, National Lottery results, Premium Bonds and those depressing competitions you get on cereal packets etc. from now on.
The little wooden balls we picked out are the same ones used for decades to perform this weird little sporting rite, which naturally made me think of all the hands that touched them. Is there a thing where if you and a person touch the same object, you exchange skin cells, so a tiny bit of? Or I am thinking of the water you drink having been inside other people? I’m sure there’s an interesting our-lives-are-all-linked fact along these lines, anyway. Maybe someone can work out what I mean. I always like evidence that our lives are all linked. I wrote a book about it. Which you can now get on audiobook, by the way. If you like the idea of books but not of reading.
Tomorrow, thanks to Megan, we will have another round of the Very Late Review. I will see a few of you at the Horne Section. The rest, I will ‘see’ in the usual fashion. Sorry again for last night’s time-tightrope-walking. But you love it really.
Posted by Rachael on February 1, 2011
The water we drink has been inside other people?! I’m never going to be able to think of anything else when I drink now!
Posted by Lydia on January 31, 2011
Well done on doing the draw. It sounds kind of terrifying, in a fun sort of way.
Posted by Tibbs on January 31, 2011
I’m glad you had a good time doing the draw; am trying to track down footage online, but so far no luck.
Have fun at the Horne Section, I’m sure it will be marvellous! And good luck with the New Year’s resolution fulfillment!
Posted by Tracey on January 31, 2011
Hi Mark. Glad you had a good time “doing the draw.” I’m suffering from tennis withdrawl at the moment – if there is even such a syndrome, which I very much doubt. Still, they need some time off! Have you seen the film Mousehunt by the way? It stars Lee Evans and Nathan Lane and is funny. How are things going with your rodent visitor? Tracey x
Posted by Corey on January 31, 2011
I don’t suppose its that often you can do something which makes a newsworthy item the world over! Thanks to you and Razor Sky Sports News have got something to report until Jermain Defoe joins Tottenham at 10.59 tonight……..if he’s not there already!?
Posted by Misha on January 31, 2011
I can’t tell you how much I want to make a ball handling/fondling joke.
I might just come and shout it tomorrow when visiting post horne section as I intend on putting some booze in me.
Posted by Helen on January 31, 2011
There’s a bit about ways in which we are linked in this book by Marcus Chown called ‘Quantum Theory Cannot Hurt you’. I can’t claim to fully understand it, but this is what it says:
”Atoms are so small that if the billions upon billions of them in a single breath were spread evenly throughout Earth’s atmosphere, every breath sized volume of the atmosphere would end up containing serveral of those atoms. Put another way, every breath you take contains at least one atom breathed out by Albert Einstein or Julius Caeser or Marilyn Monroe or even the last Tyrannersaurus Rex to walk on earth. What is more, the atoms of Earth’s biosphere are constantly recycled – when an organism dies it decays and it’s constituent atoms are returned to the soil or the atmosphere to be incorporated into plants that are later eaten by animals and humans. ‘A carbon atom in my cardiac muscle was once in the tail of a dinosaur’ (Gaarder, a Norwegian Novelist)”
Posted by Suzanne, aka Senior on January 31, 2011
And yet another skill to add to your already impressive CV!!! Grabbing balls in the FA Cup Draw – executed in masterful style and with great aplomb!!! Razor Ruddock must have been absolutely terrifying in his day …
Due to terrible mismanagement on my part, I’ll be without internet access for the next couple of weeks – hope I don’t miss too much excitement in the meantime …
Good luck with all the mouse and house hunting, gigs, book writing, swimming with infants, TV & radio recordings, etc, etc … and everything else you’ll cram into the next fortnight …
Farewell for now … I’ll be back …
Posted by Zoe Fell on January 30, 2011
I’ve bought a new waterproof eyeliner for the occasion. Devastation and grief is no excuse for panda eyes.
Have a fantastic time tomorrow night, you’ll be awesome.
Posted by Aislinn on January 30, 2011
Me and Zoe are going to sit in floods of tears in Nandos tomorrow, comforting each other and telling ourselves Gutted will be worth missing the Horne Section for.
Seriously, though, hope it goes well. (Of course it will.)
Posted by lora on January 30, 2011
There was a cheer in our flat when you drew Crawley against the so-called big guns so well done on that one!
Posted by Natalie-Helen on January 30, 2011
I actually planned to watch the draw. Something I’d never normally do. And I told my Dad about this plan saying “It will probably be the only time you ever get to watch it so do remind me”
And then, last night I went out. And did the longest “wearing the same clothes as last night ever” journey home (about 2 hours in all) through Croydon and beyond. And then I was sick and went back to bed.
So I missed it, which I’m very sorry for.
In the mean time at least you didn’t throw your son in the pool on the grounds that “he’ll float” like a dad did at the pool on holiday.
^_^
Posted by Someone on January 30, 2011
See you at the Horne Section! All close-up and in reality, like. I’m setting off now. (practically.) Can’t fit 3 separate books in my bag for you 3 to respectively sign. May bring Birdwatchingwatching as at least you’re all mentioned in it. But that may be too awkward to explain in the moment, so I may not. And, yet again, it turns out I’ve rambled. I’m off to find the National Express, and a sibling.
Posted by issey on January 30, 2011
Ew that’s a horrible thought that the water you drink has been inside other people!
Posted by Sarah on January 30, 2011
Fantastic draw for Crawley. Not being a football fan even in the slightest, I am looking forward to watching my local town fight it out against the “big boys”.
I won’t have a clue what is going on, but will enjoy it non the less.
A shame it isn’t being played in Crawley though.
Posted by A lot of Rachels on January 30, 2011
Well done on doing the draw and picking Crawley!
Posted by Anji on January 30, 2011
Well done! Next time can you try and pick an easy team for villa, I mean I know it’s all about the balls and stuff but just in case you want to work on your skills
it’s all good, or gravy or whatever the younguns say!
Can I just agree with you on your theory of all being interlinked somehow? That’s as much working out as I can do tonight.
Hope everyones had a lovely weekend and all have a fabulous week!