Limited connectivity
When you take on a commitment as idiotically binding as a daily blog, there will inevitably be times, like tonight, where you’re sitting in a noisy bar surrounded by your audience (in tonight’s case, not a particularly thrilled audience), trying frantically to get online but being rebuffed by phrases like ‘limited access’ and ‘cannot connect’. There’s supposed to be no such word as ‘can’t', but computers are much less sentimental about the possibilities of life than primary school teachers.
At times like this you can’t help wishing you’d set yourself a less daunting task, like trying to comb your hair every day; or even a less time-sensitive thing like ‘trying to eat slightly more carrots’. Of course, nobody is going to die if I ever lose this daily race against the demons of midnight (unless there’s someone out there who staked their life on me making it through the ten years, in which case I really apologise for the number of late finishes this week). But you know how it goes. The more this continues, the more I don’t want to break the sequence. And it’s frustrating that the main threat to the unbroken record is not my own lack of organisation but the vagaries of technology.
Computing buffs, will there come a day when we don’t have all these problems? In twenty years’ time will it seem very archaic, the idea of ‘not being able to connect’? Will there just be blanket wi-fi (or whatever it’s called by then: space-fi) wherever you go in the world? The internet is such a miraculous thing, it’s come on so far in the past ten years, and yet you can’t help getting greedy and wondering if it’s possible to really nail this. Surely if we can have a wirelessly connected world, we can have a world where I don’t have to be stressing in Norwich because I haven’t yet managed to get online even though there’s a perfectly good signal?
Tomorrow this will not happen. Tomorrow it will appear during the afternoon. Scouts’ honour. I wasn’t in Scouts but it must still count for something.
Posted by Rachael on December 15, 2010
After monday night I find it hard to believe that the audience were ‘not particularly thrilled’. What have you done to them?
Posted by Lydia on December 15, 2010
I am not a computer buff, but I think that by the time we can always get online there will probably be some way worse problem driving us to throw technology from windows.
I’m trying to type with gloves on because my house is really cold. It’s actually quite difficult. I have fingerless gloves as well as the proper gloves, but my fingers are cold so I figured I would go for warmth over efficiency of typing.
Sorry about your audience. They’re stupid. I find it so weird when people aren’t really excited about these things.
Posted by Ingrid on December 15, 2010
My phone always seems work better when it has two bars of signal than when it has a full five… technology can be so annoying!
Posted by Zoe on December 15, 2010
I’m having a limited connectivity problem of my own. I’m laid low with flu and will be missing your Norwich gig tonight. A little sad face doesn’t really cover how gutted I am but here’s one anyway
Posted by Craig Tubb on December 15, 2010
As a computer buff I can safely say: I hope so!
Ideally the word ‘seamless’ will be part the future.
In the mean time – sorry Mark!
Posted by Anji on December 15, 2010
I fear we need the technology sooner than 20 years time if it’s to help the blog – altho I think everyone loves the rush of ‘will this be the day?’ knowing that you never fail.
I can never complain about the worry and stress an almost blogless day may bring, as hard as I try I fall asleep, safe in the knowledge it’ll be there in the morning!
Posted by Someone on December 15, 2010
Sort of reminds me of Hitch Hiker’s Guide (which is, of course, entirely factual) where miles in the future, on another planet, there’s a building with rocket-proof windows – that Ford manages to open with his credit card, because idiot-proof things often underestimate idiots. (I really hope I didn’t inadvertently just call you an idiot. Though that’s the type of hole I tend to dig.) Oh and then because the air conditioning system in the building was meant to never ever fail… it was not accessible in order to fix, when it did. So yeah, one day we’ll have computers to mend our worldwide wi-fi, then the robots will break and we’ll be screwed.
But then we can go live in a field and re-tell all the old tv and radio shows passed down through generations like Greek bards.
Sorry, I appear to be avoiding leaving for work. Buy yourself an IT man to follow you around 24/7. You’d probably have to feed him. But if the blog fails then he can be the one ‘in trouble’.
Posted by Tracey on December 15, 2010
Hi Mark. I sympathize. Our computer – we’re still using a desktop model is old but still works ok – i.e I can shop on it with ease! Also, I can still acess everything ok if I’m prepared to be patient for a quarter of an hour or, as I may soon have to do, put the water in!Technology can be frustrating at times. Occasionally I’ve threatened to sling it out of the window and have slapped the mouse down on the desk but the best thing for me, if it’s playing uyp is just to leave it for a few minutes otherwise my composure and patience rapidly disappear! Take care, Tracey x
Posted by Kate W on December 15, 2010
I’m blaming Norfolk. And technology’s inherent potential for breaking at the least convenient possible moment.
Posted by MusicalLottie on December 14, 2010
“I gave her scout’s honour.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t really mean anything.”
“You know what they say: ‘once a scout, always a scout’.”
“But you were never in the scouts!”
“You know what they say: ‘never a scout, always a scout’.”
Ahem. You reminded me of part of an episode of Cabin Pressure *relives with fond nostalgia … goes to get mp3 player to listen to it*
Sorry to hear tonight’s audience were ‘not particularly thrilled’; they must have all been sedated or something.
Posted by Misha on December 14, 2010
I believe the intention is to (eventually) cover the UK in a Wi-Fi “cloud” of sorts; this won’t however account for technology breaking, being intermittantly shit etc.
I’m holding you to that scouts honour by the way, I still consider a brownie promise an all but legally binding contract, even though I was only in the brownies for a year.
adventure comment from victoria coach station.
Posted by Kathryn on December 14, 2010
We’ve never had a three-in-a-row BlogWatch before. Exciting times.
I hope eventually internet signal improves. My phone doesn’t seem to like England at all and refuses to connect, ever.