Winterfloods
Oh, hello.
After the reaction to yesterday’s blog I’m definitely going to run a Find a New Interest challenge, as part of the New Year activities I’m planning for the merry readers of this website. So start thinking about it now. NOW!!! You’ve got plenty of time before the official start, though. But NOW!!!
A couple of quick things to record: last night, as some of you will have seen on Twitter, I was involved in a small controversy at the gig I was doing. It was a corporate event, the annual dinner of some financiers called Winterfloods. I was halfway through and doing pretty well, bantering with the audience, when the 73-year-old head of the company suddenly shouted out ‘START DOING SOME JOKES AND BEING A COMEDIAN, OR YOU WON’T GET PAID’. Astonishing, I asked him to repeat himself. He told me to ‘cut out the smut’ and do my job properly. I had very much been doing my job properly – interacting with a pissed-up but friendly crowd in a good-natured way – and it was a chilly feeling to be bawled at by the oldest and most important person in the room.
I was tempted to walk out, but instead I raced through 15 minutes of quickfire ‘proper’ gags to almost total silence, because everyone was now scared to laugh. Then I finished with a speech about how rudely I’d been treated. It was pretty exciting. It’s rare I finish a gig like that. I included phrases like ‘one man has poisoned the atmosphere’. As someone who’s been booked by a corporate client, you’re well aware that they are within their rights to criticise you and potentially disrespect you in all sorts of ways. But if the gig’s going well, and you’ve not said anything remotely offensive (which, as usual, I hadn’t), I think you in turn are within your rights to politely say ‘shut up, I’m performing’. It was an interesting dynamic. Probably the biggest row I’ve ever had with a man in his seventies. I have a lot more to say on the subject, but no time. Yet.
Also, I’ve just done an interview with Minchin (me interviewing him) which will appear in his tour programme and be released as some sort of Audio Thing. I know many of you love Minchin a lot, so this is nice news. We’re talking about doing a series of ‘Watson Chats To Minchin’ podcasts. All that’s stopping this happening is the effort of getting our respective shit together, so if you are one of the people who write on Minch’s forums, write to him about that. Fun.
(He reckons he’s injured his hips, by the way, with that very fast fun of his. That’ll teach him to beat ME at anything.)
Posted by Lucy on November 30, 2010
I’ve read the email by both the gentlemans wife and employee of this winterfloods company (lucky thing) and am not convinced by their arguments; you are not a smutty offensive comedian, in fact when I saw you I consciously thought how refreshing it is that you are not a comedian who swears every other word. Not that I mind swearing at all if it is not simply used for lack of any other words, or of the mistaken belief that it is funny to string together sentances consisting entirely of effing and blinding. You don’t do this and whether or not this man found his own sensitivities offended, I think it was very very rude to interrupt you and to treat you in this way (particularly under the guise of ‘protecting’ the ladies in the group. Thank goodness he was there, I don’t imagine they would have managed to make it into work on Monday if he hadn’t interjected so great was their offence, much less tell you themselves if they were offended, which interestingly none of them seemed to be. He would have done better to take note of the table of hecklers as an indication of how the audience were reacting to the comedy; clearly they are largely able to speak for themselves) My opinion is unchanged. Rude man. Chase him.
Posted by Rachael on November 30, 2010
I’d be interested to hear if he has been to any other comedy shows. My guess is no.
Posted by Rick Procter on November 30, 2010
Ech. Yes, I feel for him now – seems like it was a case of bad luck rather than bad person. Fair play to him sending that email (which hadn’t appeared when I published my post btw). Goes to show I suppose, despite how things come across at the time, there’s sometimes another story behind them. Sometimes, hopefully rather reassuringly, people turn out not to be twats after all.
Posted by Mr Noteworthy on November 30, 2010
In regard to the C… word I found the jokes about the male chickens all rather tasteful!
Not to be confused with the more common word refered to C word.
Posted by Helen on November 29, 2010
After reading that comment with the email he sent, I take back calling him horrible. Doesn’t sound all that horrible really. Nor does is sound like his name is, in any way shape of form, Peter.
Posted by Rick Procter on November 29, 2010
Hmph. If it’s any consolation dood, there will have been plenty of staff at Winterfloods slagging Brian off around the office today – guaranteed. The people who didn’t make the do will have all been filled in about how much like a twat he acted. Like others have already said, he soured the evening for everyone – basically, what Helen said only more snarling. (Well yes, and his name isn’t Peter).
On a much more positive note, I like the idea of Watson & Minchin podcasts – ooh yes. I’m seeing Minchin for the first time (how daft am I not to have seen him before?) in Cardiff next month – looking forward to it big-time. And as for Watson, Minchin & Brown…oooh…aawwhh… Sorry, I’ve just come. ( – The Fast Show).
Posted by Pip on November 29, 2010
Well done for standing up to grumpy, probably drunk, old fart of a man. He was probably hoping for Bob Hope or someone similar and just generally hates anyone younger than him other then his, no doubt horsey, daughter.
Please keep us informed about you & minchin- that sounds brilliant!
Posted by Sarah on November 29, 2010
Just wanted to say that I thought you were excellent at the Usher Halls in Edinburgh on Friday night despite your worries about it not being sold out it actually made for a great intimate evening. Last bit of fun for a lot of people for a while as we were snowed in soon after and look to be for the forseeable future! Come back soon and have a magical Christmas with your little boy – you are definitely a “cool” Dad!
Posted by Laura-B on November 29, 2010
Also, I agree with Ben. Why didn’t you chase him?!
Posted by Laura-B on November 29, 2010
I think Watson talks to Minchin is a great idea! I would love to be in the room for that. In fact, Watson, Minchin and Derren Brown – what a dinner party that would be!
My boyfriend is obsessed with old black and white films, which I’ve always been rather disparaging of, so maybe next year I can become interested in that.
Posted by A Guest ... on November 29, 2010
As someone present at the event, I’d like to put another slant on things. Without wanting to sound like a sycophant, Brian is actually a really nice bloke, and his outburst was unexpected, but possibly summed up by the mail he sent to us all today, shown in full below.
>> Dear One and All,
>>
>> I feel I should offer an explanation for my interruption of our
>> entertainment on Saturday evening.
>>
>> I thought that our “entertainer” started off very well by parodying both
>> Julian and myself but then started to sink into abusive
>> rhetoric caused, I suspect, by hecklers goading him on, and I
>> mistakingly thought I should interject on behalf of the ladies to save
>> their blushes.
>> I now realise that there was no need for that and so I’m sure you’ll
>> forgive me if I rather deflated the evening’s entertainment.
>>
>> I suspect that I’m the only one that blushes these days.
>>
>> I hope you nevertheless enjoyed the evening.
>>
>> BMW
Posted by MRS. WINTERFLOOD on November 29, 2010
I am the wife of the”73 year old” .
I know you were heckled and led on by table 23 but everything was going so well up until that time. I don’t know how you can say you didn’t say anything remotely offensive, I am not a shrinking violet but I was acutely embarrassed by your swearing and smut. I see from the above that you cannot even blogg without using offensive words, but I suppose that’s a sign of the times, the young ones do not seem to be bothered by it, so be it, we shall just have to go where we know we will not be offended.
You must admit yourself that all of a sudden your act turned into a smutty one, I lost count of the times you said the c…….word (is that latin for penis?) My husband is a very courteous well-mannered gentleman and as the Company bears his name he feels responsible for all his staff mistaken as that may be.
I see that you have carried this over into your blogg which has been picked up by Winterflood staff and I only hope that they see this comment as well.
Mrs. D.S. Winterflood
Posted by Sarah on November 29, 2010
Minchin + Watson = utter brilliance
Posted by Martin Bellamy on November 29, 2010
Ah, corporate events – joy!
I’ve been to loads over the years; some where the “act” has been great and some where it just didn’t work. I’ve never known the boss to react like that though.
I suspect you were booked by a younger person, lower down the foodchain, who appreciates your style and knew what to expect from you. Brian would probably have preferred something a little more old school (Terry & June anyone?).
Interestingly, he probably has no idea that his attcak would make it onto the web and probably doesn’t care as your fan demographic is deemed to be unlikely to cross over with Winterfloods’.
I see they are part of Close Brothers who finance all sorts of things, from vehicles and other asset finance to insurance premium funding. We currently finance over £3m with one of Close Bros rivals and our deal is up for tender in March next year. I wonder if Brian ever imagined that I could possibly be influenced in who my company chooses by his actions.
I guess not and ultimately we’ll do what is best for our clients and our business, but dinosaurs like him should be aware that the world is a very small place these days – you upset people at your peril.
Posted by Tracey on November 29, 2010
Hi Mark. That bloke sounds absolutely horrible and as another poster has suggested, I bet he’s ruined his own firm’s evening. Hopefully he’s now feeling pretty stupid. I can never understand why people who book people to perform at their functions or book tickets to go and see someone then just use it as a mission to find fault. There’s no justification for having a go at you.Regarding the cricket idea, I take your point that something is more interesting if you have knowledge of it. I just find cricket, like golf, to be a bit slow for me. I like tennis as it’s faster, requires phenomenal dedication and, unlike footballers, the players behave themselves.However, that’s just me. I’ll say bye bye now from a very snowy Paisley.x
Posted by Tibbs on November 29, 2010
That man sounds like quite a dick. I think you handled that ordeal rather well.
I am very excited for this Watson and Minchin interview, and for any future Watson & Minchin podcasts. This is further motivation to sort out my forgotten username/password for his forum…
Posted by Kate W on November 28, 2010
What a git. Not just rude, but foolish, since it sounds as though he ruined his own party, which a) he was presumably paying for and b) everyone there will remember.
Glad to hear you got your respective Audio Thing shit together – I shall look forward to the results. I can imagine a series of pretty productive/fun podcast chats, so hope they’re something that happens.
Posted by Benjamin on November 28, 2010
You should have just booed him for the rest of the show. And then chased him.
Posted by Lucy on November 28, 2010
What a rude man, I saw you in Oxford (when you had the brilliant back and forth with the previously devoted fan who travelled from Blackpool to see you and subsequently reimbursed her for her ticket expenses) and it was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen; surely interaction with the audiences is one of the trickiest and therefore best/most individual bits of stand up comedy? Though to be fair I could have spent the evening listening to you name capital cities and been quite happy. (you should have tried that with the corporate boss) Having said that I bet I’ve had bigger arguments with 70 year old men. I’m a nurse.
Posted by Josh on November 28, 2010
Oh, and Ben. Is Ben reading? Forum Ben?
Posted by Josh on November 28, 2010
We’ll burn him for you.
Posted by Phill on November 28, 2010
The septuagenarian (I like that word, not as much as octogenarian, but still) sounds like a massive cock, if I’m honest. (Hold on a minute… *checks website*. Brian Winterflood, by the looks of things.) I guess as a comedian that must be one of the hardest things to deal with, hope it doesn’t affect your confidence – because it shouldn’t!
Anyway, find a new interest challenge = cool. Interview with Minchin = cool!
Posted by Gemma on November 28, 2010
I was at the christmas due you have mentioned, not as an employee, but as a guest. We were all having alot of fun, you were absolutely brilliant. And that was easy to tell by all the laughs. You did an awsome job interacting with us in a fun way.
As you well pointed out the things the ceo was complaining about was things the corner table had started, and continuesly brought up, which everyone found funny exept the old goblins in the middle of the room. When the ceo rudely interupted you some of us actually thought it was part of the show, but quickly found out that the head goblin was being serious. And we were shocked! I looked around at the tables and people were trying to hide their wincing.
He killed the awsome atmosphere you had created.
Everyone I talked to and heard talking about it thought you handled it in an awsome way. Especially the fact that you choosed to stay, I think that says alot about you, in a very positive way.
I have to disagree with you in one of the things you write though, after the head goblins outburst, I think people were cheering you even more. But you are right about the fact that it was a bit hard for people to laugh, I think it is hard recovering from what happened, not so much for you, you handled it well, but for the audience. People just couldn`t shake off his outburst.
Later in the evening I even heard someone saying he was afraid to go to the toilet at the same time as the head goblin, cos he might get fired for taking his cock out.
Anyway just wanted to let you know that you were well loved by the audience. And I would definatly recommend you to others.
Posted by Ingrid on November 28, 2010
Man that sucks, though it sounds like you dealt with well. And congrats for not just walking out, thats probably what i would have done! Looking forward to this Minchin + Watson thing! x
Posted by Catherine aka Cathy on November 28, 2010
If I am that cranky and unpleasant when I get elderly, I have my family’s promise to just shoot me.
Watson & Minchin podcast. F**k yeah!
Posted by Josie on November 28, 2010
Minchin + Watson = Can’t Wait!
The old guy sounds like a massive idiot, by the way, and you were perfectly within your rights to say he poisoned the atmosphere, which is a very eloquent way of saying he mucked it up.
Posted by anon on November 28, 2010
hi Mark I was there last night and you were hilarious, totally appropriate and not at all offensive. Sorry the night ended so uncomfortably. For the record I dont think it was YOU who misjudged the atmosphere.
Posted by Nathan on November 28, 2010
I’m going to make my new interest falconery. I’m sure I’ve got some falcons lying around the house somewhere…
Bad luck about the gig, by the way. I’m not going to join in the chorus of dislike for the guy, mind, as I simply don’t know him – in my life as a language student, you’d be surprised how few 73 year old financiers I actually do know.
Posted by Kate B on November 28, 2010
Wow, Watson and Minchin together in an interview. EXCITED! A series of podcasts would be amazing!
Sorry about how your gig went. That guy sounds like such an idiot, I’m pleased to hear about your speech at the end though
Posted by Helen on November 28, 2010
What a horrible horrible man. I bet everyone thought ‘Eugh this is typical of Peter. Bloody Peter. I hate Peter. Why can’t we have a boss like this Mark Watson fellow? He’d be brilliant. I bet HE’D like my design for the new company logo.’
(I’m just guessing his name is Peter. I don’t know why, I’ve nothing against Peters, but that is the name I’ve chosen and to change it now would seem futile.)
Posted by Misha on November 28, 2010
I did wonder where that interview would appear. I shall make sure to set some pennies aside for a programme now.
Podcasts would be lovely, and i’d imagine easily doable on skype. You could do them in the early hours when up with your respective small humans.
And that man sounds like a *expletive deleted for the younger readers*
Posted by Sarah el on November 28, 2010
Haha, I was expecting a snow moan too! Wow, so nasty, at least the audience liked you, though.
Posted by Steve on November 28, 2010
I can’t remember which comedian said it, but he ranked his favourite audiences as follows:-
1)Mixed Audiences
2)Female Audiences
3)Drunken Male audiences
4)No audience
However after thinking about a similar experience to yours, he then rated Drunken Male audiences lower than ‘no audience’. Sounds like self important financiers would have a rating well below 5;-)
Posted by lisan66 on November 28, 2010
When I read winterfloods, I thought you were going to talk about the horribleness of melting snow, but I was wrong. I dislike this guy, he doesn’t sound vvery nice!