Soap/racists/banana/snake
Thanks to all those who voted for me in the Bristol Walk of Fame contest yesterday, bringing me closer to my dream of being immortalised in the same place I first touched a snake (reluctantly. Somewhere there’s local news footage of a 12-year-old me, thin as a wire and with floppy hair, brushing the snake with a millimetre of my fingernail and then recoiling. The news item was on their new schools program. They weren’t specifically there to capture my minor breakthrough against ophiophobia).
The Nottingham show last night was one of the stranger ones of the tour, featuring the drunkest, most unsalvageable heckler so far, and an unusual number of food items being donated by the audience (one group of women were having a party immediately before the show, and came with carrot batons and mini pork pies). There was also a bumper crop of Weird Things to Sign. These included a discus (in honour of the female hero of ‘Eleven’, a massive inflatable banana, a book on computer programming by a different Mark Watson, a flyer for Minchin’s Matilda show at the RSC, a banner with the word BORIS on it, and set of ten fingernails – one letter of my name to be written on each.
A couple of pieces of outstanding kindness from last weekend’s World Kindness Day experiment. Shell distinguished herself by taking a nice soft toilet roll, soap and handcream on a Liverpool-London train with her, and leaving them for toilet-going passengers to enjoy in place of the usual sparse facilities, along with a note explaining that they should help themselves. Meanwhile, as I mentioned before, Sam Schafer… took on some racists. In his own words:
The EDL were in Portsmouth (where I am) today. They were protesting about a mosque, we’re not quite sure why, they didn’t say, all the said was it was going to be a peaceful protest. We think it had something to do with the minority group of muslims who burnt some poppies as yesterday the mosque was vandalised by someone spray painting poppies on it.
There were around 50 of us standing against the EDL had first, who had over a hundred. they’d bused people in from London. Soon our numbers dwindled as the EDL got violent. Around an hour after I got there we were down to 30 odd, and the EDL had recruited more. We lost numbers as they started throwing cans at us, filled with bits of fireworks so they would explode. One of these cans hit my leg, luckily it didn’t explode until after it had bounced off and I had run.
I stayed for over another two hours, during which time I took two stones to my head, an egg to my shoulder (which is now bruised) and finally a glass bottle to my leg at which point I had to report it to the police.
We were for the majority of the time a silent protest, not shouting things at them or trying to aggrevate them. They meanwhile did jingoistic chants, called us Pakis, and inexplicably peadoes. As well as the violence.
The police did a good job considering they were low on man power and no one could see who threw things at the time they were thrown.
Also our local MP Mike Hancock came down and stood with us for quite some time in support which was more than I ever expected of an MP.
Sorry that moan’s over, but I managed to stay calm there and take it so as not to deter the cause, but I feel like whingeing about it a bit.
Also today I gave someone the 27p they needed for their shopping that they were short. And I picked up some items that a member of the EDL had knocked off the self in co-op. I would like to think I would’ve done these anyway, but I feel like adding to the general good spirit, especially after my bit about racists above.
…so there you go. Huge plaudits to Sam. ‘Kindness’ is the least of it, I think.
Another good week in Watsonia. I’m off to Coventry. This will be the fourth biggest audience of the tour so far. I know this from ticket sales; I’m not Derren. But I might soon be next to him in a list on a zoo. Fingers crossed.
Posted by Rachael on November 22, 2010
That is some dedication right there, well done Sam.
Posted by MusicalLottie on November 21, 2010
@Tibbs my first thought (thanks to having Sherlock on the brain) was that the fingernails were attached to fingers which in turn were NOT attached to anything!
I wasn’t going to comment but today’s blog made me want to
I confess to having been tempted to vote for Acker Bilk but couldn’t bring myself to. It would be very cool if you won the vote!
And the EDL sound scary; Sam’s effort must have taken courage.
Posted by Tibbs on November 21, 2010
I do hope the fingernails were still attached to fingers. Unfortunately (for me) in my initial mental image, they were not. I have an idea for Things To Sign, but I’m not sure if it’ll come together. Actually, I have two ideas, and one of them I will definitely be able to do, but the other one is more involved.
Sam Vs The Racists is a very inspiring tale. Good on you, Mr. Schafer!
Posted by Hanna on November 20, 2010
We finally saw you at Coventry, having bought tickets for Leicester but my husband was poorly and had to go to hospital instead! It was worth the wait!!
Posted by Tracey on November 20, 2010
Hello from a dry – at the moment – dull Paisley. Well done to Sam – that must have taken a lot of courage. I’ve also been relying on the indulgence of others lately – mainly due to aneamia that makes me very tired. However, I try to keep a lid on the irritability – ironically caused by the iron tablets and try to be as nice as possible.Mark, have a great night in Coventry and hello to all other posters out there. Have a great weekend. Tracey x
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on November 20, 2010
Nottingham was brilliant. The three friends we brought with us are firm Watson fans now. Thanks Mark! X
Posted by Hannah Mae on November 20, 2010
Bravo, Sam!
I need to be nicer. I feel very guilty for my lack of contribution to Kindness Day, but I’ve been a bit of a state recently and so am currently very much relying on the kindness of others. Once I’ve sorted myself out, I aspire to repay all my kindness debts. I’ll scour the blog for inspiration and be baking cakes and leaving anonymous post-it notes in library books right, left and centre. The blog’s really been cheering me up though – I’ve been warmed by everyone’s contributions.
On an entirely unrelated note, I’m enjoying today’s title.
Posted by Sephy on November 19, 2010
Well done Sam. Takes a lot of courage to stand up like that.
Posted by amycool on November 19, 2010
This isn’t really related to the blog but as part of being kind I went to donate to Children in Need and now feel like a right tight-arse. The minimum pre-set donation was £30! That’s 3/7 of my monthly budget! So I had to fill out the “Other amount”, which basically means, “I don’t care about children that much”. I tried to watch the show but just as every year, I couldn’t bear more than a minute. JLS and rugby aren’t my idea of a good night in.
Well done Sam for standing up to the racist violent thugs. I doubt I’d be brave enough.
Posted by ChrisP on November 19, 2010
What would you really hate to sign out of interest?
Me and a friend were talking the other day about how good it would be to have a copy of Parklife signed by Oasis, or Morrissey signed by Johnny Marr, Chinese Democracy by Slash etc. What would you refuse to sign?
And well done to Sam too.
Posted by Meg on November 19, 2010
Well done Sam and Shell! Love the sound of those Weird Things To Sign. I wish I were in Coventry but couldn’t get a childminder or transport. Hope you have a good show.
Posted by Misha on November 19, 2010
Hello from Coventry. My kindness today will be to try not to cough. Although in the face of the good deeds done it’s a paltry thing.