The future's not ours to see
It seems only yesterday that I was blogging about Paul, the supernaturally gifted octopus who forecast an improbably long string of football results, and spuriously using his example as proof that anything was possible in life. This week it was announced that Paul had compromised his position as Metaphor For Defying The Odds by, er, dying. So, RIP Paul. We will probably never see your like among the octopus fraternity again when it comes to forecasting World Cup scores. And I don’t say that lightly.
In honour of this prescient octoped, today I am inviting you to join in (another) COMPETITION.
I am going to ask some questions about what the future holds… specifically, the next year. You, the readers, must guess what sort of state the world will be in, in a variety of categories, on October 29, 2011.
A year hence we will see who’s come closest in the most fields. That person will win a tremendous prize. And I mean that, because I have a year to sort it out.
So, here are the ten questions which you must answer to demonstrate your powers of presentiment. As I said, you don’t have to get them all right (in fact if you do, you will probably face witchcraft charges); victory goes to the person whose overall body of answers best reflect the state of the world a year from today. Good luck.
1. On October 29, 2011, what new thing will we know about the world we didn’t previously know? (For example, if the question had been asked a year ago, the answer could have been ‘it is possible for more than one party to govern the UK at the same time’, or Tiger Woods/Wayne Rooney is a love rat’, or ‘Celine Dion will have twins’, etc).
2. Predict the name of a TV show which will be on our screens this time next year, but hasn’t been heard of yet. For extra points, speculate as to what the show might be about.
3. The same question, but with bands. Predict the name of a new band which will be big this time next year. I don’t mean an existing band. I mean make up a name out of nowhere, and the closest to an actual emerging act will win.
4. Name a celebrity who will have died by this day in 2011. (If you feel this is distasteful, you may skip this question, but then your answer will automatically be registered as Bruce Forsyth.)
5. This year’s big innovations have been the iPad and the Kindle and things like that, I suppose. What new invention might we be using in a year’s time?
6. Forecast who will win this year’s X Factor, The Apprentice, or any other reality show currently in progress, or Sports Personality of the Year- or if you don’t know/care about any of these things, give us the name of the horse which will win the 2011 Grand National. You don’t need to know anything about horse-racing for this; just think of a cool name for a successful racehorse.
7. Forecast the exact temperature, in degrees centigrade, in London, on Christmas Day.
8. Predict an event IN YOUR LIFE which will occur over the next year. Obviously, you can be as bold or as conservative as you like. If you predict that you’ll finish your degree, say, you might well be right, but won’t get many style points. If you’re brave, predict something you don’t have any particular reason for anticipating, other than instinct.
9. Suggest a newspaper headline which will occur before October 29, 2011. It needn’t be a clever headline. This year you could have had THE BIG FREEZE or A NEW ERA or all sorts of things about cuts. Tactically, might be better to guess at a vague headline, but you’ll get more glory for a more outlandish guess. (I stole this idea from Mr Alex Horne incidentally.)
10. Predict the date of the Blogless Day, when I finally fail to do this, OR you may predict there will be no such day.
I wish you all the best with these difficult feats of future-sight.
Off you go, and may the best person eventually win. Answers on October 29, 2011.
Posted by Benjamin on December 20, 2010
The results for the reality TV shows are the only results that are confirmed and widely answered.
On this basis Daniel wins as he said that Matt Cardle would win X Factor and Stella would win Apprentice. (Rightly or wrongly, I discounted people who had written ‘contestant’/'another contestant’)
Finally, an honourable mention goes to Ivan for guessing the SPotY winner.
Posted by Daniel on November 6, 2010
These comments are all FANTASTIC!!!!
Posted by Craig on November 1, 2010
1. Take That’s 2011 tour had to add at least 5 extra dates to meet demand.
2. Visionaries. Each episode follows a different individual who has had a vision of the future (see what I did there?). As the series progresses, these individuals appear to be linked somehow, and together may be able to have a bigger vision of the future – perhaps even about when the world ends…
3. The Landing.
4. Kim Jong-il.
5. PSP2.
6. Paloma wins The Apprentice.
7. 3 Degrees C.
8. I have a feeling I will win some money on the lottery/scratch card in the next year. I rarely buy a lottery ticket or scratch card…
9. OTHER EARTH – Scientists discover a planet similar in size to Earth, an ideal distance from its sun and with a similar atmosphere.
10. There will NOT be a Blogless day in the coming year!
As an extra thought on this, have you ever considered Mark that simply by predicting events in the future, we are CHANGING the future? For example:
Joe Bloggs predicts a new interesting TV show. Some TV execs read this blog, see the idea and put it into action. It airs in October 2011. 1 point for Joe
We will never know for sure of course but it’s fun to speculate!
Posted by Elise on October 31, 2010
Having spent way too much time thinking about this, here are my predictions…
1. I imagine we’ll discover that the Chinese economy is more unstable than we currently believe it to be. On a lighter note, we’ll discover that eating eggs makes us run faster.
2. TV adaptation of ‘A Handful of Dust’ by Evelyn Waugh
3. Top Kill
4. Barbara Bush (W’s mom, not daughter)
5. Mobile TVs that get live signals.
6. Grand National winner – Jumping Jack
7. December 25, 2010 – 6 degrees Celsius
8. I will have circumnavigated the globe.
9. Going Out With a Bang (no idea what it’ll be about, but it seems headliney)
10. Never, ever gonna happen. EVER.
Posted by Hannahq on October 31, 2010
1. David Cameron believes in ghosts and thinks Downing Street is haunted.
2. Celebrity Horse Cops – watch “celebrities” try and be mounted policemen
3. Not In My Front Garden
4. The Queen (!)
5. Computers which clip onto glasses, so all the information is projected in front of your eyes. (iSpecs)
6. X Factor – One Direction, The Apprentice – Christopher, Strictly – Matt Baker
7. 3 degrees
8. I’ll break my arm while camping with friends
9. WHAT NOW?
10. There will be no Blogless Day.
Posted by Ingrid on October 31, 2010
Ok so here goes… i hope im not to late!
1. Aliens are real!!
2. Some glee-like program but about dance, called something cheesy like ‘Flawless’
3. I think ‘Untitled Artist’ would be a cool name for a band, but ‘Never’ or ‘Always’ is more likely
4. Ozzy Osbourne maybe?
5.A touch screen phone that is as thin and bendy as paper!
6. I think Cher Lloyd will win and (because i dont know anythin about the rest) Matt Cardle will come second
7. -2C
8. I predict at least one of my swimming trips away will be cancelled due to bad weather
9. ‘Workers Still On Strike’ its bound to happen…
10. In opptomistic spirit i will say there will be no bloggles day, at least in this year!
Posted by Rachael on October 31, 2010
Can I add something to number 8? Someone will propose to me (anyone) and I will turn them down because I am still waiting for Zac Efron.
Posted by Rachael on October 31, 2010
1. Cameron has been paying his wife and kids to make him look like a normal family man (we find out when a gypsy man comes forward and rats him out because he wants his family back)
2. Help! My kid won’t leave. Someone like that supernanny woman comes round and tells people they are too old to be sponging off their parents and get them to ship out.
3. The McBusteds
4. Steven Hawking maybe?
5. Magic Carpet
6. Matt Cardle for X Factor and I think her name is Liz? for the apprentice.
7. 4
8. I will graduate and end up working in a coffee shop
9. SCIENTIST DIES
10. There won’t be a blogless day until October 10th 2015, so not within the next year.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on October 31, 2010
1. Something space-related. Either life of some form on another planet, or some new star will pop up.
2. and 3. I cannot think of anything. At all. Rubbish. Perhaps all TV and music will have stopped by next year, and I’ll be proved right.
4. Lindsay Lohan.
5. I think there’ll be some sort of medical breakthrough. I’d really like to see some form of effective treatment for Alzheimer’s or dementia, or there be something similar being tested.
6. X Factor – Matt Cardle
Strictly Come Dancing – Matt Baker
The Apprentice – Jamie
Sports Personality – Jess Ennis or Rebecca Adlington
7. 5ºC
8. I will have a full-time, proper, permanent job, and to be all moved out of home. And have a pet rabbit.
9. ‘England reclaim the 2011 RWC’ – Optimism all the way!
10. Never! I discussed this with the lovely Procter a while ago, we have faith!
Posted by tothesky on October 30, 2010
oh wow, a ‘cool’ smiley. That wasn’t intentional. I meant no.8.
Posted by tothesky on October 30, 2010
1) We will discover that the Earth is not the only rock in the universe to have life – with real concrete evidence.
2) The Iron Lady – The Story of Magaret Thatcher, possibly a More4 drama like ‘When Met Dave.’ Or a real documentary on Channel 5. More likely if she dies.
3) Snowmonkeys.
4) Fearne Cotton.
5) The ICar. Because I have little imagination.
6) X Factor – Katir or Cher. If they don’t the X factor PR machine has failed. Apprentice – either Chris or Lynne. Is that her name? The one with short brown hair.
7) 7 C
I will some money on the Lottery. I have never played it so it would be unexpected.
9) ‘Cameron in caught in sex scandal.’ This would be funny.
10) Blogless day will never occur
Posted by Katie on October 30, 2010
1. We’ll find Osama Bin Laden working in Tesco under the name of ‘John Jones’
2. ‘Piers Morgan on the history of cardboard boxes’. It will achieve millions of views.
3. ‘Drugs, danger and darkness’. They’ll be an uplifting band.
4. Going with the default, sozzle Bruce
5. A hoover that can reach all the way the bed/sofa/annoying places you can never get to and never hoover because of this reason.
6. Liz/Jamie will win The Apprentice. This is a wild guess as I missed the last two episodes whilst in France, but hey, you can hope
7. I predict 6 degrees, a bit drizzly and very un-christmassy
8. Ah, hard one. I predict that I will have a complete change of plan with what I want to do with my life (as in, go from languages to… be an assassin or something equally as life changing)
9. NICK CLEGG THROWS HISSY FIT
10. This day will not happen, I have complete faith.
This has distracted me from my growing pile of maths, thankyou very much
I have very much enjoyed doing it!
Posted by amycool on October 30, 2010
I’d just like to add that I am loving reading these answers.
Posted by Beth (Bloomability) on October 30, 2010
1. We will know the exact date the oil will run out.
2. Cheryl Cole: Pop Star to Brain Surgeon in 24 hours.
3. Pony Explosion/ Arm Crayon/ King Shrimp.
4. Though I would never wish death upon someone, Maggie Thatcher’s been ill recently, so…
This feels a bit wrong. Ah, well.
5. The 3D phone. Unless it already exists, I’m not sure.
6. I really hope Wagner wins X Factor. I don’t watch it, but he’s become a bit of a meme so… GO WAGNER!
7. 4
8. I will have visited another continent. I doubt this will happen since our holiday is already booked for Wales but I can’t really think of anything else. Or I will have met John Barrowman. Either way, both are unlikely.
9. Lottery winner refuses winnings. (or prize, I couldn’t decide which word.)
10. I have too much faith in you and the emergency bloggers for me to believe that it could ever happen.
Posted by Emily on October 30, 2010
1. Something will come out about Scientology. I don’t know what.
2. The Tumblies. Some form of young children’s programme, probably on Cbeebies.
3. String Theory.
4. Nicholas Parsons.
5. 3D computer screens, and the development of software to utilise it. Not dissimilar to the up-and-coming 3D TVs but for computers. Possibly also starting to become common in laptops as well.
6. For the Grand National, Jumping Jack.
7. 4°C
8. I’ll pass my driving test, which considering I don’t see myself getting round to learning until at least the summer, if then, is by no means a given.
9. Twitter Terror. Don’t know what the story would be though.
10. There will not be a blogless day.
Posted by Soul Food « The Old Bat on October 30, 2010
[...] around on the internet, as I do (when I have a connection), I was interested to read Mark Watson’s blog post from yesterday, where he announced a competition to predict the state of the world this time next year – [...]
Posted by Daniel on October 30, 2010
1. New Things We’ll Know – Squirrels go crazy for marmite and at least 10 test matches involved spot fixing in 2010 and 2011
2. New TV Show – a group of sub Z-list celebrities will demonstrate their skills at a new job in the lavatorial reality show Sewer Rats. It will, quite literally, be s**t
3. New Band – a new boyband called Focal Point will have achieved a degree of fame with Top 40 smash hit U R GR8
4. Dead Celebrity ( and I hope I’m wrong ) Lord Richard “ Dickie “ Attenborough
5. New Invention – To ease my guilt about killing off Lord Attenborough, we will be able to bring people back to life and he will be the first.
6. X Factor Winner – Matt Cardle , Apprentice Winner – Stella English, Strictly Winner – Pamela Stephenson, Grand National Winner – Oui Mon Amie
7. London temperature on Christmas Day – 11 degrees centigrade
8. My Prediction For Myself – I will become the face of a national chain of newsagents in Moldova and have a marriage proposal turned down
9. Newspaper Headline – UP AND AT ‘EM
10. Blogless Day – There will be no blogless day. The Emergency Bloggers will never let it happen.
Posted by Lydia on October 30, 2010
1. We’ll know the identity of David Cameron’s mistress.
2. Teeth, because I can’t think of a sitcom about dentists, and the BBC seem to want to make sitcoms about everything.
3. Smashing Ceilings (lol, there is a very obvious reason as to why I am not in a band)
4. I’ll leave this one out.
5. TV sunglasses, i.e. watching tv with sunglasses on. If that wasn’t obvious. Which it probably was.
6. I’m going to go with Jamie (The Apprentice. I think that’s his name).
7. 3 degrees
8. I will finally go abroad.
9. COALITION FALLS APART
10. This one is never going to happen. EVER.
Posted by amycool on October 30, 2010
1. We’ll know that there are more non-religious folk than was previously thought. The 2011 census will contribute to this finding. I’m guessing 25% more in Britain, perhaps 10% elsewhere.
2. To wed or not to wed? After the success of Don’t Tell the Bride, Four Weddings and the Jeremy Kyle Show, one lucky couple will get the chance to quiz their partner-to-be with the aid of a lie detector. After discovering that her Paul has cheated on her 3 times, Chenise will say, “They should make all couples do this by law”, before going on to marry him.
3. Scurlogue Champ. They’ll be a bit like the Courteeners.
4. I’m going to pick a nice person so even if I’m wrong I’ll be happy – Matt Baker. Probably whilst filming for Countryfile.
5. Due to the crazy weather, durable waterproof shoes will now be available with heated soles for icy pavements. You’ll be able to charge the battery on your laptop. Maybe.
6. I don’t appear to watch popular TV shows so I’ll make up a horse name. Deputy Ranger.
7. I’m going to be risky here and say 11 degrees. They won’t be needing their hot shoes on that day, that’s for sure.
8. I’m swaying between very pessimistic, ‘I’ll be admitted to hospital again with lung problems’, and very optimistic, ‘I will remain infection free for another year’. Let’s go optimistic. No infections, no hospitalisations.
9. SNAKE AND KIDNEY A story about a 9 year old girl who tucked into her pie only to find the slightly cooked body of a small snake. It later turns out to be a slow worm.
10. I’m predicting that there will be a blogless day at some point, but it won’t come this year.
Posted by Sue (DiB) on October 30, 2010
1. On October 29, 2011, will we know a famous celebrity was born with both male and female bits. A decision was made by parents/doctors at the time of birth to go one way or the other, but now the singer feels the wrong decision was made and plans to rectify it with surgery.
2. One Man And His Bog. It will be about unusual toilets.
3. The Spotty Youths. As soon as their acne clears up they’ll be on the scrapheap of course, then forge new careers in acting after using advertising as a springboard… Clearasil mainly, which they will claim to have started using mere hours before the band broke up.
4. I’ll go with the default for this one. Sorry Bruce.
5. Sunglasses with frames and lenses that can change colour to suit your outfit.
6. I don’t watch any shows like that so I’ll go with a horse name. Dancing Cleopatra.
7. London – Christmas day… 5 degrees C. No snow.
8. I don’t know… I don’t plan on it, but maybe I’ll be in the newspaper for some reason?
9. A newspaper headline. “Crazy Boxing Day Sale Ends In Real Boxing Match” I don’t predict that it will be me in this story.
10. There will be no such day as “the blogless day” *optimism*
Oh, 10, that’s it then.
Posted by Madeleine on October 30, 2010
Christ, that was hard to read in a big block of text, hope I got these right.
1. Something to do with the Large Hadron Collider… The amount of money going into that thing has to pull results at some point.
2. Bang Bang Zap – Couples ask each other questions about their previous sexual partners/ infidelties and whenever someone lies their boyfriend/girlfriend has the option to zap them with electricity. This will of course be marketed as “strengthening relationships through trust”
3. Panda Underground
4. John McCain
5. Something to do with newspapers. That industry’s dying, its got to have a big innovation soon or become completetly redundant
6. I don’t know about any of those things, American Dollar will win the grand national
7. Cold as shit
8. I will join some kind of terrible band. This is a bit out on a limb because I only kind of play the guitar and I’m not planning on joining a band because I don’t write music and couldn’t imagine preforming in front of people. Still, i feel like it’s something “future me” might think is a good idea.
9. THAT’S NOT A WIFE!
10. No Such Day! We shall fight fate and come out the victors! FOR HONOUR! FOR OPTIMISM! AND BLOGS!
Posted by h2osarah on October 30, 2010
I’m going to go with things that are quite optimistic rather than plausible.
1. Major breakthrough in the treatment of HIV/AIDS. Possibly a cure.
2. Fry and Laurie – 30 years on. Either a retrospective look at the duo, OR, some kind of spectacular comeback series. I’m hoping for the latter (who needs House or QI? Oh wait, I do).
3. Vest Monkeys. Some kind of indie group.
4. This one’s not optimistic. But for some reason my instincts say Madonna.
5. I think there will be major breakthroughs in fabric that senses surroundings and can project images. I know it’s sort of being worked on, but clothes that project downloadable images will be available in stores.
6. A horse called Birkenstocks. Possibly sponsored by the shoe company.
7. 0 degrees. In fact, I predict a white christmas in London. Something you UKers seem to get excited about.
8. I predict that I’ll have finished my thesis, gotten a job and moved to the UK. If nothing else, it’s worth another, albeit small, incentive to do these things.
9. This is partly related to #1. But ‘AIDS CURED’. It’s even possible that that could be a headline without it being entirely true. For example if an HIV vaccine came out.
10. Nah, you’ve got a good backup system. And if Richard Herring can keep his going for like 7 years, you can do 1.
I realise that I’m pinning a lot of hopes on the cure for AIDS. Could be worse I suppose, but I think we can do it. Let’s go science!
Posted by Lauren on October 30, 2010
1. Tom Jones is a robot.
2. When Pygmy Hippos Attack. It will be about when pygmy hippos attack.
3. FML. They’ll be shite, but the kids will love them.
4. I hate to say it, but Betty White. Only because we’ve lost 1 Golden Girl each year since 2008.
5. An iPhone app that gives you an electric shock every time you start to tell someone about your iPhone apps.
6. I don’t know, but I would name my racehorse ‘Bob’ because I believe that less is more.
7. 3? I’m Australian, I have no idea.
8. I will finally see Europe.
9. ‘Temporary Facebook crash leads to pandemonium.’
10. Won’t happen.
Posted by Helen on October 30, 2010
This is so fun. I love this Blog.
1.New thing about the world: We’ll learn something new about what goes on under the sea. I’ll guess maybe a cure for a skin ailment will be discovered from the venom of a sea snake.
2.TV Show: ‘Stanley invents different things each week that aren’t really that useful but make the world seem a bit happier’. Possibly shortened to ‘Stanley’.
3.Band: Rejection
4.Death: I’ll leave this one out and go for the default.
5.New Invention: A spray that cleans clothes in 60 seconds. Rival to the washing machine.
6.Winner of Apprentice: Christopher Farrell
7.Temperature: -3 degrees centigrade
8.Life Event: I’ll meet someone on a train who will say something to me that I will later remember and it will shape my choice in an important decision. (Unlikely, but it’s fun to sound all cryptic)
9.Headline: ”CAMERON TAKES THE ‘O’ OUT OF COUNTRY” (Maybe he’ll ban polo mints or cheerios and then the Daily Mail can use this cheeky rascal of headline)
10.Blogless Day: Won’t occur.
Posted by Suz on October 30, 2010
1. It turns out that Nick Clegg’s chin was carved from oak by wood elves.
2. Guess That Rat. I haven’t worked out the finer details yet. Something to do with guessing rats anyway.
3. The Andrew Marr Experience.
4. Maggie Thatcher.
5. Tea that doesn’t go cold.
6. The Apprentice: Liz.
7. 3 ºC.
8. I will get a hamster and name it Hamstertron.
9. WILLIAM VAGUE. William Hague goes all blurry for a week. No one know why.
10. This won’t happen. It’s the only sure thing in our lives.
Posted by ian on October 30, 2010
thanks for coming to Newcastle tonight, good gig. Apologies for the lack of warm feeling when you said you were becoming a father, its nothing personal but round here 12 year olds spout that story every other day. Please don’t take it personal like a certain Nathan chappy from Bolton situation, he deserves a swift quck in the pods and then another one when he’s down. Its just men don’t always show there emotional sides so eloquently in the North East, more’s the pity. See you again soon and keep up the good work. To cheer you up, tonight on the bus home I bumped into a neighbour who I don’t really know that well and we chatted about your gig and the live band he’d been to see tonight, a happy chat.
Posted by Michael King on October 30, 2010
1. Amir Khan is filmed by the News of the World taking drugs. (Man, this question is gonna get libellous.)
2. Celebrity Pickpocketing. (Does what it says on the tin, really.)
3. The Smokey Joes (Old Hornby trains, maybe they’ll influence someone…)
4. Keith Richards
5. Wireless charging of electronic items.
6. Jessica Ennis to win SPOTY.
7. 2ºC
8. I’ll get a job under my own merit, finally! (Only other job I’ve had was because I’d personally known the store manager all my life.)
9. GAYS CAUSE CANCER – OFFICIAL. (The Daily Fail, obviously.)
10. It will never happen!
Posted by Rachel on October 30, 2010
This was rather fun to do, though my predictions are pretty dull (particularly 2, 3, 4, 5 and 7). On the plus side, 36 days until I see you
1. We will know whether it was the chicken who came first, or the egg (not holding out much hope for this one…) We will also, as a nation, finally realise that X Factor is never going to be a ‘good’ TV show.
2. No clue as to a name, but a panel show aimed specifically at teens/students (mostly because this is my media project, and I’ve had to think up new TV shows)
3. Rust – I just saw the word and figured it’s just as likely as ”N-Dubz” etc
4. Gonna have to go with the automatic response of Forsyth I’m afraid
5. An eraser that cannot be written on. It’s not going to change the world, but somebody wrote ”taaaaaasty” on mine last week and it just looks silly now, so I would quite like that to be invented
6. X Factor – Matt – this is mostly a prediction based entirely on hope. Apprentice – It could be Liz, or possibly Jamie. Glad Melissa’s gone though, so I don’t care who wins it now.
7. 1?
8. I’ll have gained 4 As in my AS Levels (and a Pass in silly CoPE); Managed to either cry in front of my college tutor…or not cry in front of him (I’m at that silly in between stage at the moment and it’s rubbish); met Mark; and been to Edinburgh Fringe with my friends. The last one probably won’t happen, but I’m throwing it in there anyway
9. Price & Reid Split – We’re all secretly hoping for it, aren’t we?…
10. It could happen anytime, but I think we should all be optimistic and convince ourselves it won’t
Posted by Josh on October 29, 2010
1. 3DTV with glasses will is stupid.
2. “Milk and Honey”. No idea what it’ll be, maybe something like a breakfast based sitcom. Or maybe just a BBC 4 documentary or something.
3. “Bristol”.
4. Patrick Moore, sad but true. Also Thatcher (less sad).
5. Some sort of Augmented Reality thing. Google are basically there anyway with Goggles and their floaty camera thing they do.
6. I’m going to have to go with the horse and say “Heroin Junky”.
7. I’m going to say “2″.
8. I predict that I’ll have gone into hospital at some point. This would be odd, because I never go to hospital.
9. “PM denies bestiality claims”. NO, I want to win the prize, so: “Biscuit prize scooped by zoo keeper” (I’m banking on the fact that such a headline would appear in a local paper and that there are a LOT of local papers about.).
10. There will be no blogless day but you will fall back on emergency bloggers more and more.
Posted by Alex on October 29, 2010
I love this blog so much… This is FUN. But I’ll come back to this tomorrow when I am completely sober.
The show was fab tonight- thanks! x
Posted by Aislinn on October 29, 2010
I am SO up for this. Give me until tomorrow when my Mum isn’t asking me to get off the computer and straighten her hair (boo) and I shall be ON THE CASE.
Incidentally, whilst I’m mentioning my Mum, she watched a good two minutes of Kicks Off yesterday. She says you look ‘a lot younger than on that other show’ (by which I think she means We Need Answers.) which I think is a compliment. Well done.
Posted by Iona on October 29, 2010
This is a good idea (if we all remember in a year that it happened!)
So
1. Everyone will know that lusms stands for ‘love you so much sssss’ and that chirpse means flirt (bc is blatant chirpse). At the moment I think it’s only a few youths in the North London area that knows this, I may be wrong. But chirpse especially is an awesome word and it WILL happen. Oh also I’d like apaz (meaning apparently) to happen… yes my friends and I have waaaaay too much time.
2. Beef on the Streets. The clever thing here that ‘beef’ is meaning ‘fighting’, so there is a gang/ gangleader called beef and he gets into fights. Details are yet to be confirmed but this is TV gold (which makes me think of an alternative title – gold in the hold, about Mr Gold being trapped in the hold of plane… not as punny but still a rhyme which makes it a valid title)
3. Bingo Bitches (A group of old ladies who rap… It could happen!)
4. I’m gonna have to go with the most likely and leave this to the automatic response.
5. A computer that can be controlled by thought. Or lots more apple products that make the world slightly prettier (this is maybe more realistic)
6. Apprentice – Liz/Stella, X factor – Aiden, Strictly – Matt Baker (cos he was awesome when on Blue Peter and possibly the first TV personality I ever fancied)
7. 2.2
8. Hopefully I will be at university and I will have had a crazzzzy night out the night before reading the blog and it will make me smile. If this doesn’t happen, the alternative is that I’ll be sitting at home feeling depressed about having to redo my UCAS application.
9. It’s lies, all lies
10. NEVER, don’t even speak/type such blasphemy
Posted by Anna on October 29, 2010
1. That at least on Premiership footballer is gay, and that, once it’s announced, the vast majority of people will shrug their shoulders and say ‘so what?’
2.’Send In The Clones’ A ‘zany’ comedy about a man who clones himself, with hilarious consequences. It airs on BBC3, and is axed after one series.
3. TBC. So that in festival programmes you’re not sure if the band playing are called TBC, of if the act in that timeslot is still To Be Confiirmed.
4. Thatcher, with any luck. Though as Ivan has already picked her, I’ll go for Tony Benn as a back up. Not that I want him to die, I think he’s amazing- it’s just that, if he’s not dead I’ll be so pleased that I won’t mind about getting this prediction wrong.
5. Sat Nav shoes. Programme in your address before you go to the pub, and you’ll never have to worry about finding your way home while drunk again. They will also have a compartment in the sole to keep a spare front door key, so you won’t drunkenly lock yourself out.
6. One Direction to win X Factor, with Matt to come second.
7. 5 degrees, no snow.
8. I will have a baby girl on 1st March next year (I’m due on 18th Feb, but the last one was late, I think this one will be too) I’ve not found out the sex of the baby, but I’ve got a feeling that I’m having a girl this time around.
9. No Hospital Safe- with the first letter of each word in bold. A story about how Cameron and his posh mates are plotting the downfall of the NHS.
10. It’ll never happen.
Posted by Misha on October 29, 2010
Because I was musing about this instead of doing work, I’d like to add (as part of
the prediction that I will have had A Good Year. Where nothing bad happens to me or people I like.
I think I’m due one of those.
Posted by josie on October 29, 2010
1. Climate change is definitely our fault.
2. Derren Brown Being Awesome, which is basically just a documentary following Derren Brown from day-to-day life. Highlights include the infamous “Stewie from Family Guy” impression.
3. The Wenches. Bad pop.
4. Ringo Starr
5. Augmented reality sunglasses. They will definitely be here sometime.
6. Liz will probably win The Apprentice.
7. 8.7 degrees
8. I will win some money on a scratchcard!
9. CAT LADY STRIKES AGAIN
10. 15/02/2011
i think that’s pretty much 2011 summed up there.
Posted by DeborahF on October 29, 2010
I love this idea and can’t wait to see what amazing predictions the blog readers come up with. So here are mine:
I predict that…
1. …we will find out that Wayne Rooney is Alex Ferguson’s love child and that’s why he stayed at Manchester United.
2. …there will be a TV show called “Mark Watson, Optimist” and it will be a documentary following Mark’s journey to becoming an optimist, talking to leading psychologists and motivational gurus worldwide.
3. …there will be band called Revolver Puck likely to be a grunge revival band citing Nirvana, Soundgarden and Pearl Jam as their influences.
4. …Keith Richards will have died – I saw him on TV the other day and he looked like a dead man walking already so I don’t feel so bad predicting his death here.
5. …Apple will release an iWatch complete with hi-resolution colour screen, bluetooth and phone/internet connectivity
6. …that Nicky Maynard will win Sports Personality of the Year for scoring in every Bristol City game left this season and single handedly turning around their ailing form to finish at the top of the league.
7. …that it will be 11 degrees Celcius in London on Christmas Day – oh and it won’t be snowing.
8. …that I will move nearer to Sheffield as a result of being fed up of travelling there from Derby every day for work. I’m playing safe with this one so I can at least earn a single point in this competition.
9. …that the tabloids will run the headline “Cameron: Give up the ghost” as the ghost of Claire Rayner does haunt David Cameron for destroying the NHS.
10. …that there will be no blogless day as the emergency bloggers do a sterling job and will always save the day
Posted by Alot of rach[a]els on October 29, 2010
1)
I don’t think I’ll have anything amazing in the next year…maybe I’ll decide what I want to do with my life
2) the tie thief – a show about someone who really likes ties and goes around trying to collect all of them. probably bbc3.
3) the stephoscopes
4) a member of the royal family
5) I was going to mention some form of new computer with all touch screen and crazily thinner than everything else around at the moment
6) i only watch apprentice but don’t know there names but one of the women and only heard of that wagner bloke, I don’t know if he’s still in it even.
7)-2
9) Don’t Look Now
10) 29th October 2011
for some reason my phone won’t scroll up so I’ll answer number 1) here:
some hardcore evidence for water on a planet (I know they’ve already have some evidence but some actual stuff…yea…)
Posted by Ivan (@ivanbrett) on October 29, 2010
What a brilliant challenge! I must think hard about this and consult my time-travelling cat.
1. By October 29, 2011, Cern will have actually found the Higgs-Boson particle, rather than just inferring that it’s probably over there somewhere.
2. Bang goes the Neighbourhood. Probably a sitcom or a suicide-bomber game show.
3. FlimFlam
4. Nancy Reagan is getting on a bit, and if not her then Margaret Thatcher. I think I deserve two because I’m being bold and predicting deaths, which is traumatic.
5. Maybe they’ll invent those amazing table computers that are all touch-screeney and brilliant, and are literally a screen instead of your tabletop. You can eat your breakfast off of Jeremy Kyle’s face.
6. Matt Cardle will win the X-Factor, That arrogant stupid one will win the Apprentice (never fails), The jockey AP McCoy has to win sports personality, unless Amy Williams the bobsledder gets it. The Grand National winner will be a horse, that much I know. Probably called Barnaway Sandle or Grantham’s Boy or something equally ridiculous.
7. 4 degrees of your finest centegrade, if you please.
8. My first BOOK comes out in MAY! I predict that. I also predict that it will sell moderately but not spectacularly, and I’ll feel slightly disappointed with the reception. Does that count?
9. 6-DAY DRUGS BINGE SENDS GAGA GAGA. (do I win?) If not this, Gaga’s gone gaga or Googoo gaga if she reverts to infancy. But you get the idea.
10. There shall be no blogless day. Do not say these things, Watson.
I’m so excited! Roll on October 29!
Posted by Tom on October 29, 2010
1: Sarah Palin secceeds [I have no idea how you spell that!] Alaska from the United States and declares war on the USSR.
2: Zombies versus Unicorns [or possibly the Trasformers-based varient Zombies vs Unicrons, as I accidently typed], the adaptation of the hit [yet-to-be-released] book.
3: The Grills [album title: Sizzling Jazz for a Summer's Night]
4: John Prescott [cause of death: soup]
5: RFID-enabled phones
6: Tuna-or-spam [the inferior offspring of Salmon-or-beef]
7: 4.5 degrees
8: Getting a job which uses my qualifications!
9: “Nick Griffin in Asian Love-Child Shocker”
10: Given the proven fallback systems in place, the blog will roll on!
Posted by Misha on October 29, 2010
1. David Ike was right all along, Cameron turns out to be a shape changing lizard.
2. Would you shag a pensioner for money. (or similar)
3. A Band. (Taking post modernism to a new level, they will realise an album named Debut Album and all the songs will be named similarly, Track 1, Track 2 etc)
4. Jack Whitehall. I’ll make it happen somehow. (I jest, honest I do)
5. Touch screen laptops, like the ipad, but with a keyboard
6. On the grounds that I don’t know or care, I predict another win for Hedge Hunter, making him the next Red Rum
7. 3
8. That I will move out of the parental home completely. No going back for the summer etc. As in I will have my own place. Probably rented.
9. Council Build Car Park (seemingly always the headline of the Coventry Evening Telegraph)
10. I predict it will never happen. Because my tiny mind would implode and it would potentially devastate the internet. (No pressure)
I’d also like to add an 11.
That you’ll forget all about this until the day before when some conscientious blog reader will remind you.
Posted by JontyLarr on October 29, 2010
1. That apparently James Corden CAN be on too many TV shows
2. Thermal Imogen – Imogen is a worker in an airport, who operates the body scanner, with hilarious results – obviously based on the idea that TV execs love a “clever” title for a sitcom… see “Nelson’s Column” or the more recent radio-based “Claire in the Community”
3. The Battenbergs
4. I’ll revert to default on this one
5. I reckon there’ll be some kind of Wii motion controller that attaches to the whole body
6. I imagine Matt will win the X Factor, Michelle Williams will win Strictly, and the Apprentice will be won by some irritating, pompous 30 year old adolescent
7. -2
8. New job. Though, if this doesn’t happen, expect a very disheartened response to the 29.10.11 blog.
9. NOW THE EU WON’T LET US BUY GRAPES IN BUNCHES
10. There will be no such day and your failure to be optimistic here is saddening.
Posted by Suzanne on October 29, 2010
My first prediction is that my grandson, Matthew will be 6 years old on this very same date next year!!! Hooray!!! Streamers, balloons and cake!!!
OK, now back to the REAL challenge … As a warm up, I’d like to predict the Grand National winner … I-WIN out of WHINNY by I-POD!!!
And on we go …
Btw, loved the show again last night … well done, that Watson!!!