Popular dilemmas
All right, so, everyone seems to think the best thing to do is to publicise the show on Twitter and blithely disregard any negative feedback. This is easier said than done, but pretty sensible. So that’s pretty much what I’ll do, I reckon. Given this more than satisfactory solution-by-consensus, I’m going to pose you some other ongoing dilemmas and seek your opinion:
1. Are you meant to wave or acknowledge people when they stop for you at a zebra crossing? I tend to do this. But people are legally obliged to stop, aren’t they. So you’re really just thanking people for not breaking the law, aren’t you? But isn’t it still nice to acknowledge the fact that they’ve bothered?
2. I’ve done stuff in my show about booing people and saying ‘NO’ and so on, but seriously, if you’re on a train and someone is making an arse of themselves – say, playing music too loudly – should you pluck up your courage and say something? Or just let it pass, on the assumption that someone will always be a bastard and you can’t be responsible for everyone in the world?
3. Is Lady Gaga actually pretty cool, or awful?
4. Are zoos cruel? Or can they sometimes be all right?
5. Are open relationships (that is, relationships in which both people are allowed to sleep with other parties) ever workable?
OK. I have to do a show now. Thanks for your help.
Posted by Aislinn on October 22, 2010
1. It is nice to thank drivers. Always.
2. I’d never have the courage, but I would say yes to this question, too. My iPod came unplugged from my headphones on the train the other day and so my iPod took it upon itself to play the music out loud, like some sort of mini speaker. I didn’t notice, but got a funny look from the woman opposite me. It wasn’t until somebody from the next carriage along came and told me. I apologised when I realised, and turned my iPod off straight away in sheer terror. She didn’t thank me and seemed quite angry, in fact, but I don’t blame her. I’m glad someone pointed it out!
Also, on the bus today, there were two boys of about ten who were stood by the back doors of the bus, larking around. Their foolishness led to one of them slipping over, much to his friend’s amusement. Eventually, a man leant across and firmly, but politely, pointed out that if they carried on larking about like that, one of them would end up getting seriously hurt. And their mothers wouldn’t like that, would they? The boys looked quite sorry and stood sensibly until their stop.
Obviously, if people are acting threateningly/drunk, it is a different situation. I am going to avoid that, as I’m sure other people can answer that subtopic far more confidently.
3. Lady Gaga’s cool. To me. Sure, she’s ridiculous in many ways, but she wears and does what she wants. I like that she goes against the consensus of ‘fitting in’. Also, regardless of whether you like her music or not (I’m fairly indifferent to it), to me there’s no debate that she’s very talented. She writes her own stuff and, having heard a couple of album tracks/live stuff via my sister, it’s both very varied and accomplished.
Posted by Clembear on October 22, 2010
Chipping in late
1) I tend to nod, or raise my hand to acknowledge them. Whilst they have to stop, its nice to acknowledge that. I agree in general we shouldn’t thank people for basic road safety, but it seems to cheer people up.
2) I think you can ask politely but be prepared for a bad reaction. And have an exit strategy.
3) I think Lady Gaga is quite cool – she’s more interesting than a lot of other acts, and her live show was really fun. And her bra shoots sparks! That counts for something. Probably.
4) Well, zoos aren’t great as the animals regularly show signs of distress. Its probably better than zoos and potentially the animals in them not existing at all, but it would be better to have nature reserves which don’t impact on the humans nearby. Its a tricky balance; luckily most people involved in conservation are aware of the complexity of it.
5) I think they can work, providing both people really are OK with it, can be honest about it, and can deal with the feelings of jealousy. I think the idea one person can meet all of your needs is unrealistic- we’re happy that needs like friendship, conversation can be met outside a relationship but not sex. I’m not sure if sex is a special case.
Posted by Shell on October 22, 2010
1. I acknowledge with a nod or smile as a thank you. It’s polite and considering so many don’t bother to stop I want to encourage those that do.
2. I have spoken up when something has been really bad but have only once been backed up by another passenger or train staff – so I consider it pretty carefully.
3. Lady Gaga – awful and pointless. A couple of half-decent tunes spoiled with overdone show-woman-ship. Not worth deep consideration.
4. Generally I do not like many elements of zoos but it comes down to individual zoos and species in the end. Some animals should never be kept in zoos, all animals should be kept in ‘communities’ if that is what they are used to in the wild and the environment should be as big, natural and enriched as possible. Some excellent captive breeding and conservation projects take place in zoos. I visit zoos very occasionally and enjoy seeing the seemingly happy animals (usually large groups of monkeys, well kept and housed but it gets to me to see big cats or bears pacing up and down the same 15 foot strip in obvious mental distress.
5. It may work for some but those I’ve knowledge of crashed and burned. They thought they could handle it but inevitably it usually seems to suit one partner more than another and ultimately destroyed the relationship.
Posted by Matthew on October 21, 2010
1. I’d normally do a friendly nod, to show appreciation, not a full wave.
2. Not worth the hassle I find.
3. Up until last week, I thought Lady Gaga was black, hence apparently I really have no idea who she is so can’t answer this question.
4. Sometimes cruel, sometimes necessary, often both. One of those grey areas in conservation I think.
5.I don’t think an open relationship can ever work. I think if one is being suggested the relationship is over or doomed from the start.
Posted by Alex on October 21, 2010
1. I always do. Apart from anything else I feel a bit awkward otherwise… It really doesn’t bother me if people don’t thank me when I’m driving though.
2. I guess it depends… I told someone to shut up in the cinema once. I must have been having a brave day. I pretty much instantly wished I hadn’t done it, but I put on a brave face and it did actually work. Normally I settle for rolling my eyes.
3. Cool? Dunno. Publicity whore? Obviously. Brilliant? Hell yes. Bad Romance is just about one of my favourite things ever.
4. Some are OK. I always hate big cat enclosures though, they’re just too sad.
5. I have no experience of this, but I don’t know anyone who has done it and liked it.
Posted by Tom Beasley on October 21, 2010
1. I always make a point of acknowledging people that stop for me at zebra crossings. It’s similar to the fact that I always thank the bus driver as I get off. There is no reason why I should thank them, other then general politeness. I just feel that it’s polite to thank people for making your life easier, even if they are obliged to do so.
At the end of the day, it’s not as if a quick wave or thumbs-up is really any inconvenience to you, so you may as well be polite.
2. I experience this quite often as someone who travels on buses and trains a hell of a lot. I tend to let it slide, mostly out of fear of confrontation. I probably should tell them to keep it down really, but I’d rather endure it than end up arguing with a noisy stranger.
3. Well I like her music; it’s catchy. She’s nothing amazing, but she has managed to cement herself as a very very successful pop star in a very short time and that must be admired, whether you like her or not.
4. I have no issues with zoos. I would in fact argue that they are a good thing.
In most of them, the habitats are designed to closely mirror those that they would experience in the wild. Also, breeding programmes in zoos go a long way towards preserving endangered species and increasing awareness of the problems that can lead to habitat destruction and animals becoming endangered.
5. Personally, I don’t agree with the concept of an “open” relationship. In fact, I don’t like the idea of any relationship that isn’t completely monogamous. For me, the very point of being in a relationship with someone is that you have chosen them out of everyone else you know to be your romantic partner, so deciding that you can sleep with other people just seems weird to me.
I feel that if you are going to sleep with other people anyway, then there is no point in you being in a relationship.
Posted by @Bexbitchdrummer on October 21, 2010
thinking about it there are only 4 lady Gaga songs i really liked and they weren’t singles….
Posted by @Bexbitchdrummer on October 21, 2010
1. I always acknowledge people when i cross but it’s not so much out of politeness as it is self preservation. As I’ve had some near misses at zebra crossings from people either ignoring or not seeing me (although it hasn’t happened since i dyed my hair bright red!) so I like to wait and look at the driver and make sure they have stopped and then thank them for doing so.
2. I used to be the kind of person to say something especially on trains or long journeys but in light of recent news items of people getting their head stomped on for asking people to turn music down etc. I now prefer to move away rather than say anything especially if it’s teenagers, as i like my head intact! I don’t care about saying something if I’m out with my fella tho, as he’s a big lad!
3. I have a lot of respect for Lady Gaga and the control and vision she has over her own career, which is very refreshing given the cookie cutter pop stars who usually has a 2 year shelf life, and end up being savaged by the press. I do think that fashion wise she occasionally goes too far, but as long as the music continues to be good i don’t really care.
4. Some zoo’s are definitely cruel and its usually obvious by the visible ticks that zoo animals pick up whilst in captivity, like constant pacing, bashing themselves on bars and general repetitive behaviours which is usually down to being bored and in conditions that are far too cramped. However lots of places get it right Monkey World in Dorset is a great example. http://www.monkeyworld.org/
Money world is an amazing complex in Dorset that cares for rescued Primates. I’ve been many times and i have an adopted Chimp Ben and a pack of Woolley Monkeys. They all have huge enclosures and have often been rescued from other zoo’s and from people who have been keeping them as pets it’s very hard to explain it any better than the website so …
5. I thought of a really long answer for this, but settled on: There are very few people on this planet who can watch the person they love with someone else and not feel pain and jealousy and i think the ones that can seem to be either very, very, insecure or incredibly self obsessed.
Posted by Depraviato on October 21, 2010
Us tuppence worth
1.I agree it’s pretty mashed to thank people for not breaking the law, but look at it more of a ‘thanks for not killing me’ type of thanks. Besides, everyone knows there is a bit of a war between motorists and pedestrians so it helps spread good vibes between the two factions.
2.I have, on many occasions, wished I had the balls to stand up to them. But as yet I’ve not had them.
3.As far as pop is concerned, you can do worse than Gaga. Thing is, what people think of her shouldn’t be affected by what others think. If someone were to declare that they thought Meshuggah were naff I’d still think the band were just as awesome as before I knew that person’s thoughts.
4.Depends on the animal and what they do with em. I can’t help but feel sad when I see a gorilla in captivity of any kind, mainly because they generally have always looked depressed whenever I see them in those environs. But then I see a small monkey playing with his pals behind a glass screen and I think ‘that small monkey looks like he’s really having fun’ and I think zoos are wonderful. So it’s probably about quality of zoo. Any zoo which minces its animals is just horrible though.
5.Open relationships would only work if both partners were of the completely same mindset. If there wasn’t an emotion called jealousy then they’d work just nice.
Posted by Lydia on October 21, 2010
1. I usually wave to say thanks when people stop for me and evil those who don’t.
2. I would never be brave enough to do that. The people on trains who sit and stare at you bother me more than the people with loud music. I have no idea how to stop the staring people, because most of them don’t even look away when you look back for ages. It’s awkward. And creepy.
3. I can’t stand Lady Gaga. I hate her name, I hate her music and I hate every single “quirky” thing she does.
4. I’m not sure. The only zoos around where I live all seem really nice and are quite heavily involved in conservation stuff, so I wouldn’t say that they’re bad.
5. I don’t really know anything about open relationships, but I would imagine it only works for a short amount of time before someone gets too emotionally involved.
Posted by Sarah on October 21, 2010
Great show last night. Feeling guilty when I said I mainly read the blog, so am going to try and comment more when I have something to say
1 – No they don’t wave at me when I am waiting to cross the road, so why should I wave at them when they are waiting for me???
2- Yes, When I was in college I was asked to turn my music down, which I did. I just hope everyone is as nice as I am
3- she is unique
4- Zoos with tiny cages are very cruel. Wildlife parks with more natural enviroments are fantastic and have happy, healthy animals.
5 – No
Posted by JontyLarr on October 21, 2010
Anyone who’s all like “Ooh, look at me, I’m a character, look how UNIQUE I am” is pretty much definitely not worth your time.
So no, GaGa is not cool.
Posted by Tibbs on October 21, 2010
1. I don’t know if you are *meant* to, but I think it’s certainly a nice gesture. I always try to wave or smile when people stop for me, but then I j-walk a lot, so maybe I’m just used to it from that, and carry that habit over to when I actually have the right of way. Still, I think it’s nice to acknowledge the fact that people are not being dicks. Bit of positive reinforcement..
2. I would love to be able to do this, but what most often happens is that I sit there, stewing in my annoyance to the point where if I did say something I’m sure it would come out confrontational and only lead to an even worse atmosphere. Occasionally while I’m stewing, someone else will come up and in a very polite and reasonable tone say “excuse me, but would you mind…” and usually that has an effect! So I think the trick is to learn how to deal with things calmly and just ask and see what happens. Although this becomes more difficult when you know that *someone* on the bus is playing loud music, but you can’t figure out who, or when you do know who but they look scary.
3. She is definitely bizarre, in a way that I find very alienating (this opinion has been based almost entirely on the two times I happened to see her interviewed on Jonathan Ross, as I have never actively sought out anything to do with her). I tend to like cover versions of her music, but haven’t heard a lot of the originals.
4. I’m torn on this one. We have a wildlife park here, which I absolutely loved as a child and have not been back to in ages. The only actual zoo I have ever been to was this summer in Edinburgh, and it seemed fairly similar to my memories of the wildlife park, except with somewhat more exotic animals (I don’t think most of them would’ve fared well in our cold winters, but then, I’m not sure what winters in Edinburgh are like either). All of the animals seemed to have ample space to roam around and there were signs all around talking out conservation efforts and how endangered each animal was. Plus, there were penguins who came out for a walk around the park! So I would conclude that zoos can sometimes be good.
5. I don’t feel overly qualified to talk about this, never having been in a romantic relationship, open or otherwise, but I would say they probably are workable, and that like most other relationships it would depend on how honest everyone is. Especially if the people involved have very different sexual needs; it seems like being open about that would be preferable to one partner sleeping around behind the other’s back.
Posted by Anji on October 21, 2010
As I now read thru the new posts on my lunch I’d like to say I meant the last few are missing details. Not serials. That makes NO sense, even for me!
Sorry! And as today’s theme of running late sticks that’s all!
Posted by Laura on October 21, 2010
1. I always acknowledge drivers when they stop to let you cross. As a driver I know how bloody annoying it is when people don’t thank you, even if there is no contractual obligation to do so. Good manners hurt nobody, as the old folks (like me) say.
2. I would love to have the cojones to stand up to people being twats but I don’t. I do often shout at people when they park in disabled spaces, but my boyfriend tried to train me out of it for fear that I might get beaten up and he might have to rescue me. I do hate it when people swear on public transport when there are children and elderly people there, but I fear the kind of people who do all the swearing might not take kindly to me complaining about it.
3. Lady Gaga is shite. The dictionary definition of style over substance. I suspect she tries to be wacky/controversial to disguise the fact that she is actually incredibly boring with no discernible personality.
4. Zoos are horrible. There are some wildlife parks and conservation parks which are better, and they do try to keep the animals in conditions as close to those they would have in the wild. Zoos with cages where the animals are given absolutely no stimulation are beyond horrific, and people who take their children to them for ‘entertainment’ should have their children taken away from them. There is countless evidence that animals suffer enormously from the sensory deprivation that many zoos inflict upon them. The same also applies to places like Seaworld. Sorry, I’m a bit passionate about that one.
5. I think, with the right people, open relationships can work very well. Both parties have to be totally on board with it though. I suspect that only a very small percentage of couples could actually make it work long-term.
Posted by Madeleine on October 21, 2010
1) Indeed, I always give a polite wave and a nod, otherwise I feel like you’re just passing infront of them like “yes, that’s right, out of my way plebians”.
2). In theory, yes, in practice, I’ve never. I figure that if someone’s enough of a dick to be doing this annoying thing they’re probably enough of a dick to ignore you/ get aggressive. Unless it’s REALLY annoying, and you think you’ll have the support of the rest of the bus/train if you politely ask them to stop.
3) Dreadful, dreadful person. Taking David Bowie’s shitck and making it look tacky and lame. Seriously, take some of that millions of dollars that it must cost to make a new RIDICULOUS stupid outfit for ever occasion and give it to a poor person. For fucks sake. And her music SUCKS. Trying to dress up at best mediocre pop in faux preformance art and wack videos. Urg. AND A MEAT DRESS!!! WHAT POSSESES YOU!?! REVOLTING, THE WASTE! Killing animals, not even to eat, to wear when there are perfectly good fabrics around. What a horrible human being.
4. Actual “cagey” Zoo’s, not “wildlife sanctuaries” are even worse than lady gaga. If there’s one thing we can take from “Madagascar”, it’s that.
5. I’ve never been in one, but I’m not opposed in theory if both people aren’t jealous types.
Posted by Joelle on October 21, 2010
1) I don’t, but that’s because I try and hurry the fuck up and get out of the way. I worry too much about inconveniancing them any further that I almost run across. I’d say no.
2) I don’t and I sit through it because I have friends that do it when I’m with them and I don’t want to be a hypocrite. Plus the trains are always full of slutty juvies so you’d most likely get into a fight if you said anything.
3) Occasionally cool, mostly awful. I tend to enjoy her music if it comes on with me having no say in the matter. By ‘enjoy’ I mean ‘I don’t feel the need to kill myself like I do with screamo’.
4) I think they are alright, but overall a waste of time. You just walk around looking at mostly stationary animals. Good for the easily amused like children though.
5) I think they’d work if the people in them were open and honest and weren’t complete sluts and man-whores sleeping with everyone they saw. I think that you should appreciate the relationship you’re in and be faithful to them, unless there’s a reason that the other person can’t have sex or have a low sex-drive from something medical.
Hope the show gets good ratings! (:
Posted by Weaselspoon on October 21, 2010
1) I do, but mostly it’s an acknowledgement that were it not for you the car would have had a slightly more easy journey. Thanks, but also sorry.
2) I want to speak up, but rarely do. Also I’m fairly thick skinned and it would have to be something very irritating to make me notice.
3) She’s got an excellent stylist. Apart form that, thoroughly dull.
4) Zoos can be nice, although often they aren’t. I remember seeing a tiger in a zoo in Yarmouth and thinking it looked the most bored I have ever seen anything look. More bored than a teenager. Still, I like zoos even if I shouldn’t.
5) Anyone who said “that’s just fuck buddies” has missed the interesting question. The dilemma as posed is more can you maintain a loving relationship with someone while having mutually consensual fuck buddies on the side? As far as I’m concerned there is no reason why you shouldn’t, what with love not meaning sex. However, unless you happen to have a set of people who are upfront about the situation and able to separate love and sex emotionally, then it’s going to get messy.
This is not the same as polyamory where more than two people enter into a loving relationship together. This I know can work as I know people in polyamorous relationships. Again, you need the right people who need to be upfront about everything, and there is a whole vocabulary used to ensure that feelings and situations are made transparent. The terminology is strangely the only bit that I feel strange about (you fall in love with two people, this should be a good thing as more love in the world is a good thing, you all decide to make it work, you then have to formalise your feelings almost to a contractual level).
Posted by Glamlovinkitty on October 21, 2010
1. Are you meant to wave or acknowledge people when they stop for you at a zebra crossing?
Probably unnecessary, but the polite thing to do. I always nod or wave when someone stops to let me cross just to acknowledge that they have done the decent thing in a world where so few people now seem to bother their arrogant arses.
2. Should you pluck up your courage and say something? Or just let it pass, on the assumption that someone will always be a bastard and you can’t be responsible for everyone in the world?
I usually say something and I realise that one day I am going to come a cropper for doing so. But, not saying anything is just like saying, yep, it’s ok to behave like that, carry on. I’d be less inclined to take on someone I thought might genuinely harm me, but if someone is being a dick I generally see no point in keeping it a secret from them.
3. Is Lady Gaga actually pretty cool, or awful?
I don’t believe I’ve ever heard any of her music, but as an entity, I think she’s appalling. Seriously, what was that meaty dress pish all about??
4. Are zoos cruel? Or can they sometimes be all right?
I struggle with this one. The concept, and usually the reality, of zoos makes me feel sad. I love to see animals I would otherwise never see, but I’d be happy to never see another animal in my life if it meant they all had normal, natural lives. I know there is the conservation argument, but so many animals you see in zoos just look downright miserable. Reserves are so much better than zoos. Berlin zoo made me sad.
5. Are open relationships (that is, relationships in which both people are allowed to sleep with other parties) ever workable?
I don’t see how they ever could be. Surely the foundation of any relationship is trust and respect. It’s the least respectful thing you can do to someone you say you love, to bang someone else. I think with open relationships, it always works a lot better for one of the partners than the other. A quick way to splitting up.
Posted by Tracey on October 21, 2010
Hi Mark,an interesting set of questions…Personally, I do acknowledge people who stop for me at zebra crossings although, as you point out , they are legally obliged to do so. However, I have noticed, in the past that quite a number will simply shoot past and leave you standing there so I do tend to wave.A coule of years ago, on a horrendous four hour journey by train from Glasgow down to Milton Keynes a group of youngsters were playing music loudly and the girl opposite me and my daughter asked them to turn it off, which they did. Sometimes it pays off but just depends on the situation.On another occasion the three of us were on a train after a shopping trip and some guys sat next to us who were being a bit loud.One of them must have seen my apprehension as he said “He’s had a few and is feeling a bit merry but he means no harm, I promise.”That diffused everything and a good journey back was had by all. It just depends on the circumstances.Lady Gaga? I’m a big fan and I’m 47, along with my 17 year old daughter. I think her music is great – she can look a bit odd at times but if you like what someone does you tend to forgive them most things.Regarding zoos, Paignton zoo is pretty good and the animals have plenty of space. I think they#ve attracted so much negativity over the years that most of them have had to clean up their acts. Open relationships? I’ve never been allowed to find out as my husband would kill me. That said, I have heard of these types of relationship working but I’d imagine that you’d have to be pretty upfront about it before getting involved. Take care, Tracey x
Posted by Suzy on October 21, 2010
1. Not sure. I’m usually the one in the car and don’t expect a wave but it is nice when people do. I don’t tend to wave myself when crossing.
2. I think I should say something but rarely do cos I’m a wimp. (This question is a bit Elevenish…)
3. I think she’s awful, personally, but each to his/her own.
4. Sometimes, not always.
5. Possibly, but it’s complicated.
Posted by Paul on October 21, 2010
I don’t know a lot about 3, 4 and 5. However:
1. When I’m driving, I don’t expect people to thank me for stopping at a zebra crossing. It’s what I’m supposed to do, so I therefore adopt that attitude in reverse. I will thank people if they’ve made an extra effort to let me cross, maybe by waiting longer than they perhaps needed (for example).
Quite often, I’ll just walk out onto a zebra crossing without even pausing. This is either because a) I’m suicidal and don’t realise it, or b) because I have a weird idea in my head that it is good to shock people who aren’t attentive enough (or are just plain ignorant about their driving responsibilities) into reminding them that crossings are there. If it’s clear that someone isn’t going to stop (and it can be a fine line at times!) then I’ll wait, but I always feel defeated afterward.
2. Generally speaking, I’m cowardly and so wouldn’t dream of confronting someone (I once sat through a whole film at the cinema having my seat kicked and still managed to convince myself after that it hadn’t really been *that* inconvenient…). However, I think it’s also true that however much I’d like to say something, I don’t know what the proportionate response would actually be.
So as I work out in my head what I wish I had the confidence and courage to say, I veer between over-polite Sergeant Wilson-style “Would you mind awfully not doing that?” that I expect would be ignored or laughed at, and over-agressive impoliteness that would likely see me lose a fight.
I was recently in the quiet carriage of a train and a chap started playing loudly what I can only – and somewhat ignorantly – call the sort of music you’d hear in an Indian restaurant. In my head, a horrible situation played out where I impulsively said, “And I certainly don’t want to listen to THAT sort of music” and immediately got accused of being racist.
So I did nothing. It crossed my mind to find some Ben Folds on my own phone and play that loudly right next to his ear, but fighting fire with fire probably doesn’t work and, in any case, he got off quite soon after. Which allowed me to move on and be annoyed with the people behind me who started taking phone calls. If they’d at least put their phone on silent mode…
Posted by Beth (@Doomed1) on October 21, 2010
1. Yes always wave, its a nice added extra today, so spread the joy!
2. Depends on the situation and if they look like they could beat you up. (Also, I LOVE the way you said ‘No’ My boyfriend has now mastered it! and we do it as much as possible!!!)
3. Lady Gaga is cool, I like that shes individual and isnt scared to do whatever. More people shouldnt be scared of being different.
4. Most zoo’s are bad, no matter what their intentions. Safaris can be a bit better. And altho some are doing good work, nothing can compare to free animals. But then some of them wont make it without help. Im a bit torn!! An elephants life is quatered by being in captivity! About 90% of dolphins die once they have been captured, because they cant stand the conditions and have to be tube fed dead fish because they arn’t used to it. On the other hand, meercats always look happy! So I also think is depends on the animals!
5. Nope they dont work, and if they are ‘working’ its not really a relationship.
Posted by Anji on October 21, 2010
I always wave and say (out loud) thank you wen people stop, mainly for the fact they haven’t killed me. I do then always find myself having that internal conversation of why I said it out loud when they can’t hear you!
I used to work with ‘young people’ and figure that if it is a group of YPs doing something roudy, it’s usually because they want attention, and so button up and say nothing, because somehow it makes me feel like that’s peed themnoff more! If it’s a more adult group I tend to tut and wonder how drunk they are, even if it is only 3pm.
Lady Gaga, sort of like her music, sort if think she has to have a pair of balls (so to speak) to pull off some of her outfits. I think she’ll remain in my sort of pile!
Zoos, again a sort if debate.
Open relationships – whatever floats your boat I guess. But for me it’d be a no.
The last two miss out on serials as I’ve just noticed the time and don’t wanna miss my buss for work!
Posted by alex :) on October 21, 2010
Yaay. Questions. Melikes questions. ‘Specially cos I’m trying to disctract myself from editing on my dissertation. Naughty.
Ahem.
1. I always wave and mouth “thank you”. I know that people don’t deserve extra points merely for not being an arsehole but then again, they did stop. For me. Plus, if you do have to stop, a cheery smile/ terse acknowledgement (depending on your steez) can make all the difference to someone’s sense of what people are like. When driving myself, I always get a bit pissed off (unfairly, I know) when people don’t look, don’t wave, just saunter on out into the street. I mean, aside from the whole law thing (pish!), I could just run you over. I have chosen not to. You’re welcome.
2. Depends. Are they right next to you? Are you on a long trip? Can you sense alliance with the other passengers (gauge-able through exchanged glances, rolling eyes, indignant sighs etc)? If you can tell that others may have your back, then p’raps. I liked your story about the hen’s party women, and just saying “look, you’re making a bit of a dick out of yourself. Want to maybe stop and put them away?” But this doesn’t tend to work if the offending party is twice your size, or the only other person on the bus (or train), or wielding a machete or something. Plus, they may be just as pissed off with my bloody just-sitting-there. They might get really irritated by books or music that is not played at 2 jillion death-ibels. [Nb. That was a fucking dreadful pun. I'm flagging it up, partly in modest self-effacement and partly cos I'm quite stoked with it.]. However, I think consensus wins on the day. I’d probably just move seats, with a passive aggressive harumph. But that’s the sort of ineffectuality with which I’m most comfortable. Tension release for me, continuing to not give a shit for them.
3. Fuck knows. I stopped watching the television (but still watch programmes – no ads, no bollocksy TV voices, different approach to my own time) nearly three years ago. I’ve heard the name, and seen some blog posts outlining different sides of the debate, but I don’t know for myself. If I had to guess though (I don’t know, say I transformed into a Mail reader or something), I’d probably err on the side of awful.
4. When I was little I lived in Christchurch. In contrast to Auckland and Wellington, there is no zoo there, but a wildlife park called Orana Park. Ooh, just writing the name gave me a primal shiver of excitement. My favourites were always the otters. Crazy wee furry dudes. I don’t know what it’s like now, but twenty years ago, when we used to go for school trips, the teachers would always make a big deal out of how relatively humane it was to keep animals in massive paddocks rather than tiny cages. So to my wee eyes, it always seemed the better alternative. If you really have to take animals away from their homes, at least give them something approximating their home. Since then, I’ve been to Auck and Welly zoos and hated it. I think I’ve been hardwired to be deeply disturbed by seeing poor mad beasts rocking detachedly in enclosures that are only about four times their own size (the polar bears were the saddest). Not keen.
5. I believe so. If it’s mutually consensual. I have friends who do. It’s called polyamory and while it’s not really my cup of tea (don’t much fancy relationships with one person, never mind multiple), it seems to work for them and I’m ultimately down with it, if it’s consensual. I think the key to open relationships is to be open. And honest. It can be a really good way to confront yourself on jealousy issues. And if you or your partner/s can’t hack it, then, because the operative word is _open_, you’re hopefully also able to talk about it and sort something out. Most notably and importantly (iReckon) polyamory challenges the hetero-monogamo-normative set up in our society that views anything other than the traditional nuclear family, comprising a male and a female married partnership, as weird and deviant.
I wouldn’t say that they’re all inherently doomed to fail nor to succeed. Like any relationship.
Sweet. Back to it. If your ears have been feeling a little burny, it’s because you’re in my dissertation. Cha. Take that. Might that take some of the sting out of dickish armchair reviewers? “Ne mind, you cockwomble, what have you ever done to be included in a postgrad dissertation eh?” Or just be embarrassing. If so, sorry. One day it will be heaps better than it is now (owing to fewer word limits and MASSIVE wealth of as-yet untapped primary texts); a proper book, with pages and a proper title and proper contents an’all and then I might let people read it.
Heigh ho. If you have been, why not.
Posted by Britt on October 21, 2010
Opinions. These are things of which I have many.
#1. Generally, I’ll wave, or give a nod/smile as a form of acknowledgement. Unless I’m in a really bad mood.
#2. I think it depends on the situation. If you’re not going to endanger yourself by doing so, then by all means speak up. For example, I’m on a bus full of school kids right now (on my way to work), and a couple of them were being a little too loud, so I told them to keep it down. If you use an authoritative tone when speaking to them, then they tend to listen, even if you’re just a scrawny girl in a department store uniform (note: these were 13yo kids. Older teens may be a little more difficult).
#3. Lady Gaga does not deserve any more of my time/consideration. I never liked her to begin with, but now I’m absolutely sick of her. She’s not an artist.
#4. Call me horrible, but I never really think about animals. Maybe zoos are cruel. They don’t really interest me. I’m passionate about my hatred of Lady Gaga, but ask me about animals and all I can give you is apathy.
#5. I think they could possibly work, provided both parties are honest at all times. But, then again, whenever these kind of relationhips turn up on television, they always end badly. Generally with someone being murdered in a jealous rage.
Posted by h2osarah on October 21, 2010
Also, to those saying that open relationships=fuck buddies, I disagree. I’d say that an open relationship would have the partnership and emotional connection of a relationship, whereas I’d define a fuck buddy as someone you know, but couldn’t be in a relationship for whatever reason, but still have sex with. This, like the open relationship, can only really work if both parties are aware that that is what it is.
Posted by h2osarah on October 21, 2010
1. I wave. It’s polite.
2. I think you should. But I tend to be a massive coward about these things.
3. No idea. Some decent songs though.
4. I don’t know. They educate the public though, and that can’t be all bad. Plus, people know now what kind of habitats are better for animals so make sure that the animals have enough space, company and entertainment.
5. Depends. I think that someone would probably end up getting hurt. Either the couple or one of the people on the side. But if everyone is fully aware of the situation and consenting, then on their heads be it.
Posted by Lauren on October 21, 2010
1. Yes, because law or not, a lot of people don’t stop.
2. Let it pass because you don’t want to get stabbed.
3. Awful… but Bad Romance is catchy.
4. Alright if it’s a fancy zoo with nice enclosures.
5. No.
Posted by Hannah Mae on October 21, 2010
1.) I do this. Well, I sort of smile awkwardly and raise a hand. Yes, drivers are legally obliged to stop, but it’s sort of nice to just acknowledge people, especially if they smile back.
2.) I tend not to because I’m too pathetic. I generally just glare disapprovingly instead. I’m always glad of those who do intervene, though.
3.) I love Lady Gaga. She’s clearly a bit of a nutcase, but I find that quite endearing. Plus whatever you think of her as a person (or the image she projects, at least) I don’t understand how people can deny her talent. Her voice is exceptional – just YouTube live performances of ‘Speechless’ – and she puts on brilliantly exciting, theatrical shows. She writes excellent pop songs, too. She’s obviously a little bit ridiculous, but it’s all fun. I reckon she works very hard and is good at what she does, essentially, which is surely admirable.
4.) I agree with everyone else, that there are good zoos and there are bad zoos. I’ve thankfully only ever experienced the former, where conversation is a priority and the people who work there seem genuinely passionate about helping each species, so yeah… only really positive things to say. Plus zoos bring back lovely memories of childhood summers!
5.) Each to their own, innit. I think they probably can and do work for some people – relationships are too complex to only work under certain conditions. Personally, I’m a pretty romantic sort who falls so hard that I’d be too jealous to share/don’t think I’d even be interested in anyone else, such is my loved-up dedication. But I can see all sorts of circumstances in which it might be a viable option, e.g. if one partner is asexual, even bisexual with a massively high sex drive, or whatever. If all parties involved are ok with it, why not. (That said, I don’t know anyone in/who has been in an open relationship that hasn’t ended in jealousy-riddled disaster. I now sort of hope someone here has a positive story to tell…)
I’m interested to hear your opinions.
Posted by Misha on October 20, 2010
Just a brief point (and I promise it’ll be brief) but lots of people have mentioned a lack of desire to “share” a partner with someone. What about friends? Do you not “share” your partner with them? It’s the kind of thing that annoys me, because I’d always pick independence over love myself./heartlesscow Anyway, just thought that was perhaps a point worth raising, i’ll piss off now.
Posted by Laurs on October 20, 2010
1. I will always acknowledge people who stop at zebra crossings, to me it’s like the road equivalent of holding a door open. It’s manners in my opinion. And while I recognise that they should stop, it’s not as if it’s being policed to determine who does and doesn’t…
2. I wish I had the courage to say no to people. If I’m on the bus to work and my students are being idiots in whatever form, then I’ll say something to them, but in that situation i have a safety blanket of knowing I can put them in detention later! I won’t say anything to people I don’t know though for fear of the repercussions.
3. Lady Gaga – don’t know much about her to form an opinion, she seems to be in the press a lot but I don’t read it. So she can keep doing her stuff if she wants, I doubt she will ever properly cross my radar!
4. I’m not convinced by zoos. I think that for every one out there doing some conservation good, there are several more doing the opposite. It’s a difficult one, because how else are most people ever going to see these animals in real life without them, but then I start questioning whether we should see them…
5. Open relationships aren’t relationships. They are fuck buddies. Having been in a loving relationship, I can’t imagine the benefits of sharing that person with someone else or having the knowledge that I was potentially hurting someone as I had sex with another man. Just wrong in my opinion. By all means, sleep with more than one person if that’s what you want, but don’t try to claim that you have a relationship.
Hope the show went well! x
Posted by Misha on October 20, 2010
1. I personally wave a “thankyou” to drivers just to acknowledge it, in the same way you say thanks to a cashier even though they’re employed to serve you, it’s just common courtesy as far as i’m concerned. Manner’s cost nothing. This is something that’s been drummed into me as a rider, where you desperately need the drivers to be nice and considerate, or it could end in an accident, many’s a time i’ve nearly lost an ankle to someone’s wing mirror, so I figure if i’m polite on horse back i’ll be polite on foot too. But then I’d like to think i’m a polite person.
2. Situation dependant, lots of people don’t realise they’re being arse’s and if you ask nicely they respond nicely, but if it’s a group of drunk football hooligans it’s probably not worth risking the potential harm, especially because drink can make the nicest of people into utter bastards, and utter bastards into actual cunts. (I feel the word is appropriate there)
3. She scares me slightly, but I also feel sort of sorry for her. She doesn’t seem like a real person anymore. Not convinced, not the greatest role model, but then I suppose at least she’s not “acheivable” she just looks silly.
4. Good zoos, the ones that help protect species and such like are good, bad ones, are, well, bad.
5. We’re back to the situation dependant thing, with a specific arrangement, say if one partner was asexual and the other wasn’t, there are needs that one might consider needing to be fullfileld that the other partner can’t. Therefore it would make sense to come to an agreement that the sexual partner could seek sex out side the relationship, removing any strain on the romantic relationship between the asexual person and their partner. I struggle to think of another occasion where it would make much logical sense, although it depends on the definition of relationship, if you were a close knit grouping of “friends with benefits” it would be an open relationship. I’m hardly one to judge, having been cheerfully single for the best part of 3 years now, but it’s each to their own I suppose eh? If they’re happy, leave them be.
My my, I am verbose tonight.
Posted by ShineUrShoesGuv on October 20, 2010
I think many zoos have unfortunately become necessary if we want to try and preserve the species in danger due to the damage we’ve done to their environment. However any zoos that aren’t part of a conservation project should be closed.
Not sure about GaGa – catchy and according to Caitlin Moran she pees through her tights
Wave at the drivers, why not (some will be dead chuffed Mark Watson waved at them)
Posted by Josh on October 20, 2010
1. I turn, look delighted and mouth a faint thank you. I fear this does not look normal.
2. We should, but most of us have the severe social disease of being British.
3. Awful
4. Some zoos are cruel. Zoos in general are bitchin’. A couple of zoos are anti-cruel. Colchester Zoo, for example, does loads of conservation work in the natural habitats.
5. Maybe. I dunno. It’s possible but humans are complicated bitches aren’t they.
Posted by Ben on October 20, 2010
I can’t answer most of the questions but:
1. I do it because I imagine it makes the other person feel good in some way.
5. No. You’re not in a relationship – you’re fuck-buddies.
Posted by helen on October 20, 2010
1) Yes, yes you should.
2) I would generally leave it, as I almost always have my own iPod with me so I can drown them out with music that I like more, such as…
3) LADY GAGA! She is really very wonderful. She’s a great musician, singer and entertainer. And yes, she wears daft things, but I saw hundreds of people wearing jeans and t-shirts today and I’ve only ever seen her wear a dress completely made out of hair. She treats everything as a performance and her live show is stunning.
4) Some zoos are lovely, I do enjoy a good zoo. I’m sure that some aren’t but they are the exceptions I would say.
5) No. I don’t think so. It seems like playing relationships rather than having one. Bit of a waste of time really.
Posted by Anna Lowman on October 20, 2010
WELL.
1. I do a very small wave and the ‘I’m a human, you’re a human’ nod; just nicer, isn’t it?
2. I have genuinely said no to people as I pass by toolish behaviour, but I don’t have the guts to confront people, generally. This doesn’t reflect well on me, I know.
3. Telephone and Bad Romance are really excellent pop songs, with the other singles in the B/B+ bracket. I’m less sold on her personally though.
4. Of course zoos that don’t look after the animals properly are appalling, it’s whether zoos that look after animals well are still morally wrong… I don’t think so – they’re probably the most effective PR job for wildlife conservation. And fun.
5. I’m sure there have been open relationships where everyone involved is happy and secure. Just not that many of them…..
Posted by Phill on October 20, 2010
I’m going to answer these without having read other people’s comments, in order to make myself feel like a normal internet citizen. (Reading other people’s comments? What is this madness?!)
1. I don’t acknowledge them – usually. Like you say, they’re SUPPOSED to stop. If someone’s let you go when they didn’t have to, I’d give them a wave or something. That’s nice. Stopping at a pedestrian crossing, that’s just normal behaviour (or at least it should be).
2. Tough one. I’ve heard of people who have said something and ended up getting knifed. It depends on the situation really, as a general rule it’s impossible to say. I usually do the English thing and give them a few dirty looks but don’t say anything. Perhaps moan about it to the person sitting next to me. I guess my viewpoint is anyone who’s obnoxious enough to not care about playing music loudly on a train is probably not going to care too much if they’re asked to turn the music down, but still.
What you really want is a little device which blows up someone else’s mobile phone, but we won’t talk about that here
3. Lady who? Seriously, the whole Lada Gaga phenomenon has largely passed me by. I don’t listen to her music, see pictures of her, see her on TV… I had no idea she was a celebrity until recently. I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed of that.
4. Well, Zoos do work towards conservation as well as locking them up in cages, so… I’d say they did some good even if they’re not 100% good.
5. Not had any experience of an open relationship myself but I honestly can’t see such a relationship ending up in anything other than a whole world of pain for at least one person.
Posted by Juliet on October 20, 2010
Oh and Mark, what do YOU think about Gaga? It’d be interesting to read your answer.
Posted by Juliet on October 20, 2010
1) Taking into account how rude people have become, it’s nice to thank them for not rolling over you. It’s not the right thing to do but we have to adjust to the circumstances we live in (a jungle).
3) Gaga is shit. She has no talent whatsoever. And it’s quite easy to actually figure out whether she sucks or not, I mean, every time you see a picture or a video of her she looks like a complete a**hole, with all her stupid costumes and meat dresses and stuff (she even fell while trying to walk in those insane shoes she wears), she always talks about controversial things and does crazy things to her hair. If she was a good musician she really wouldn’t need to do all of that in order to get people’s attention. In fact, she does it to distract you from the fact that she can’t sing and her songs are shit.
4) Zoos are cruel. It’s (kind of) OK to try to help them and save them from dangerous situations. I say kind of because really, we should just let them be, that’s the way things worked before us. It’s cruel to keep an animal in captivity just for humans to look at them and analyze them.
5) To me, open relationships are not even relationships. If you love someone you want to be with them all the time. And even if there are moments when you feel like you can’t stand them, you gotta stand by them: that’s what makes a good relationship work. Open relationships are for cowards who are afraid of falling in love.
Those are just my points of view. Which means that even if I accept that other people can have a different opinion, I won’t change my mind because of that.
Posted by Nat on October 20, 2010
1.) Living in Belgium, people stopping for you when you are trying to cross the road is pretty rare and I’m not sure whose side the law is on over here (an old woman recently got run over and was forced to pay the driver compensation for the damage done to the car). So yes, if someone stops, I’ll thank them.
2.) I’m quite a timid person and will try to ignore people making to much noise rather than going up to them.
3.) I’ll pass on this one…
4.) Se above answer…
5.) I think it could work, if both sides set up clear boundries of what can and can’t be done and trusts the other enough to follow the set rules, though I don’t think that would be anything for me.
Posted by Ingrid on October 20, 2010
1. I normally go for a smile and a nod, but till i read everyone’s comments i really wasn’t sure how normal this is because were i live every time we pass someone (even complete strangers) on the street, its normal to be asked ‘wit like the day’ to which the reply is ‘no bad. yourself?’
2. I’m pretty shy, and the people playing the music are generally my age or older so i wouldn’t, but im always happy when someone else does.
3.Lady gaga is a hard one… her songs are annoyingly catchy, but i can never tell if i actually like them or not.
4.Some zoos are cruel, but I’d like to think in general they aren’t really any crueller than farms.
5. Being 14 i would have no idea!
Posted by lisan66 on October 20, 2010
1. I think it’s nice to wave to these people, because most people don’t stop, even if it is the law. I’d rather wave at the people who just stop in the middle of the road to let you cross. Those people are ncier than the zebra crossing people.
2. Eh, I’d say you should pluck up the courage, but I live in Dublin, and if you ask someone to turn off music on the bus you tend to get a “I’ll f***king kill ya if ya ask me again” kind of response, so maybe not in case you die.
I would like to point out that most people from Dublin aren’t like that, just the fools who sit at the back of the bus upstairs.
3. Lady Gaga is AWESOME!!!! That is all.
4. I think zoos are ok if the animal is in dangerous, and they’re good for teaching things, but only if there’s a LOT of space.
5. Coming from a single 18 year old, I think they are. I don’t think they’re ok if you’re married, or have kids (because that’s unfair on husbands/wives/the kids). But at the moment, I don’t really think that I’d mind.
Posted by Natalie-Helen on October 20, 2010
Just when I was worrying that illness and an early night would make me miss the blog here you are with a non panicy MWbogwatch one!
Fabulous.
1) I always wave thankyou because it doesn’t take much to be polite.
2) I’d love it if other people did but am a scaredy cat myself.
3) No I dislike her intensely. She’s not cool or even original, see Madonna, Freddie Mercury etc etc.
4) Can be very cruel but some are amazing and preserving species.
5) I have no idea. Can polygamy work? Does monogamy make sense?
^_^
Posted by Sophie on October 20, 2010
1. Yes, waving at zebra crossings is good. Firstly, it breaks the barrier between pedestrian and driver and encourages human interaction. Manners are always good, although the driver is obliged to stop, not all do. It’s just nice to be thanked, you could brighten someone’s day without even realising.
2. You should. But no one has the guts to. And it depends on specific situations e.g. who is being an annoyance. If it was a group of hoodies, then, no, it’s not advisable. However it is probably “right” to tell them they’re being a nuisance to everyone else.
3. Lady Gaga is amazing for her wackiness, but then also just plain silly. It works for and against her. Her music is kind of altered and stuff, but it’s alright, not really my thing.
4. It depends on the zoo. Zoos that are conserving species and spreading knowledge, they’re good. There are always going to be zoos that are cruel, it’s unavoidable. Can’t have everything I suppose.
5. No. Just personal opinion. It kind of defeats the whole purpose of relationship.
Posted by Ros' mum on October 20, 2010
Hi Mark
Saw you at the Hippo last Thursday. Thanks very much for the tickets. I feel slightly embarassed that I did not pay, but less embarrassed when I worked out how many other people had, then embarrassed again when I remembered that you now have Kit to support, then got over that very quickly.
I am really writing about the NO! idea. I have been using this, very successfully, with my puppy for the past 12mths and recently tried it out on children at my school. Great result! The 3/4 year olds immeadiately freeze, whatever they are doing, but the downside is that some of them them burst into tears (that’s an interesting phrase that needs further exploration)
Not so good with the older ones though. Some of the ‘more challenging’ children see it as just that, a challenge & just carry on kicking each other.
I try to discourage booing as a general rule, it sounds a bit like moo or Bruce (Brooooooooooooooooooce was the noise made by some at a Springsteen concert I went to & I found that very confusing as I thought they were booing him!!!)
Great show by the way.
Posted by Rachael on October 20, 2010
P.s. Is it too soon to worry about what life is going to become after the 10 years is up? You might need to wean us off gently or something because I’m not sure I will cope.
Posted by Neil Smith on October 20, 2010
I have a dilemma has JC Van Damm, that’s not a Dutch Jesus… Had he had a heart attack… Too many drugs?? Maybe.
Posted by Rachael on October 20, 2010
Ooo I love a moral dilema.
1. I wonder about this literally every time I cross the street. Usually I do an awkward sort of half-wave and feel like abit of an idiot but if I don’t then I feel rude and think maybe next time they will just carry on and run me over.
2. I never have the courage to speak up. I just get angry in my head and stay in a bad mood for the rest of the day, which is perhaps not the healthiest solution.
3. Awful.
4. I am fairly sure that in certain circumstances, in certain conditions and for certain animals, zoos are ok and I do enjoy watching the animals. However, I always feel abit weird and guilty and pointing and staring at them from behind the bars. Now that I think about it I do that to any animals though.
5. I find it very hard to believe that it can ever go well but maybe I’m just a prude.
Posted by hornseygirl on October 20, 2010
…so here goes:
1. I don’t think you’re meant (i.e. required) to do so, but I certainly do acknowledge with a wave. I’ve noticed that drivers in N8 are pretty good at zebra crossings; only a few transgressors.
2. I am afraid I don’t pluck up the courage to intervene, although I may well mutter under my breath.
3. I don’t think I am able to judge. I must admit that I do like her penchant for a traditional tea cup and saucer – whether quirky or contrived.
4. I think that well-managed, conservation-focussed zoos can be all right and have a role to play in supporting biodiversity.
5. They must be workable for some, but it is such an alien concept to me that I couldn’t fathom out how.
I hope the show went well.
Posted by Deanna on October 20, 2010
1. I always wave thanks, because a lot of the time I know people who stop are in a hurry.
2. I tend to think some people will always be jerks. Unless it’s bulying behaviour. Then I’ll step in.
3.Lady Gaga. Meh.
4. I think it depends on the care the zoo shows.
5. You’d have to be a very good communicator and have absolute trust in your partner. But yes, I think they could work.
Posted by MusicalLottie on October 20, 2010
1. Technically unnecessary but good manners to do so. And it’s always nice when the driver acknowledges the gesture!
2. I wish I had the courage, but I never have. Even when a couple of ladies sitting behind me at a concert were talking during a violin concerto (earning glares from the leader of the orchestra and several others) the most I could do was turn my head to glance at them, rather than giving them any sort of Look.
3. Personally she annoys me; on a musical level she divides opinion even among professional musicians. There are things that she does well, but things that to me should not be the purpose of music. On a technical level, like most other popular, non-classical singers she always uses chest voice and it drives me insane … not to mention how annoying I find her songs. But like I said, she divides opinion!
4. Some in the UK are fine, and actually do some brilliant conservation work (ZSL London and Whipsnade spring to mind) but there are always horror stories. I think, given the right funding and motivation, they’re really good.
5. Er, maybe for some people who don’t want real intimacy (physical or emotional) but for the vast majority of people who want deep trust and intimacy -i.e. anything vaguely conventional – not a chance.
Posted by amycool on October 20, 2010
1. I generally smile and wave thankyou but feel a little silly at the same time. More often than not they don’t stop though so I frown.
2. If they’re under the age of 12 and there are 3 or fewer of them, you should say something, unless they look really really tough. Older than 12 and you could be killed so it probably isn’t worth it. My grandpa shouted at a teenager though for swearing (he was about 17) and he apologised profusely, which was nice. The last time I asked somebody to stop swearing they went mental and verbally abused me for about 10 minutes. Maybe wait until you are old and then tell people off.
3. I wouldn’t ask me who is cool and who isn’t, but my very cool friend likes Lady Gaga, so assuming i judged her coolness correctly, yes she is cool. Possibly.
4. I went to Chester Zoo last year and even though they look after the animals well, I couldn’t help but feel terrible for the poor things being cooped up. Safari park style zoos might be okay but I don’t think you can really justify imprisoning animals for our entertainment, even if it does mean conservation, as those conserved animals will also be locked up. (We discussed this in year 8 but I can’t remember what the conclusion was)
5. It wouldn’t work for me, but I’m very selfish and jealous. I do know of a couple for whom it has worked for over 30 years so the answer must be yes, open relationships can be workable.
Posted by louisel on October 20, 2010
1) I always wave or smile because they don’t HAVE to stop (and a lot round here don’t), and it’s nice to be polite
I was waiting at a crossing, and a hardcore jogger was waiting next to me. He was doing weird stretches and stuff so he didn’t have to stop moving, which is fair enough. As he was waving his arms around, he elbowed me really hard in the face, looked at me clutching my chin in pain, and jogged off without saying sorry! He deserved the boo, really.
2) I’m a bit of a wuss, so I wouldn’t say anything. However, if you’re braver than me (not difficult!) and it’s a fairly busy train, I’d say it’s fine.
I did ‘boo’ a guy the other day though
3) I love Lady Gaga! If you listen to some of her live tracks with just her and a piano, she’s actually an amazing singer. And yes she’s a bit bizarre, but in the best possible way.
4) I think it depends on the zoo, really. I think they’re ok if they’re nice conservation-y ones and the animals are healthy and have lots of space.
5) Whatever makes people happy, really. I know that I couldn’t ‘share’ a guy like that, but if people can get over the jealousy/trust issue then it could work. It depends on the pepople and their relationship, really.
I was just wondering what time your shows usually finish if they start at half 7, and how long the signing queue usually takes after the show? I’m trying to sort out trains/buses/taxis for getting back after the Newcastle show
Posted by Simon on October 20, 2010
1. I’m not sure you’re “meant to” but I usually do anyway. It’s not completely irrational: Your acknowledging hand also acts as a (weak) barrier in case the driver has a change of heart.
3. I listen to Lady Gaga but not too loudly if other people are about.
Posted by Melanie on October 20, 2010
1. I always do, because when I stop for someone I like it when they say thanks to me.
2. Personally I wouldn’t, but I’ve seen people on the bus who do say something and they always seem at the end of their tether. And the response they get isn’t always a nice one.
3. I saw Lady Gaga on the Other Stage at Glastonbury in 2009, which was just before she went stratosophic and the only thing I remember impressed with was the fact she could play the piano well. She does what she wants though and doesn’t seem to care abouts critics, and in my book that’s alright. Guess it’s a matter of standards (I don’t mean to sound snobbish) and opinion.
4. As said above, zoos that encourage the conservation of animals are good, but you do hear horror stories about lots of zoos.
5. Open relationships seem a bit pointless really. In my opinion anyway.
Hope the show goes well
Posted by Ivan (@ivanbrett) on October 20, 2010
1. I think it’s just one of many ways that we can acknowledge each other’s existence in the big wide world. Yes, I wave at drivers at Zebra crossings. I also smile at strangers and thank the bus driver. I just think it’s not worth not doing that.
2. Difficult one. There’s no surefire way to know how they’ll react, and if you’re a puny little wreck like me it’s better to keep a low profile. The most I’d do is make an indignant snorting noise and instantly regret it.
3. Lady Gaga is clever. Very, very clever. Whether she’s cool or not is irrelevant.
4. Zoos have been cruel, there always will be cruel ones, but there are some wonderful centres that actually keep alive the chances of having some wild species on this planet. I’m pro zoos.
5. I don’t really know. It depends. But I think the actual relationship in an open one can’t be as strong as the relationship in a regular one. Because there’s a lack of trust and competition and weakly bound rules.
Good luck in your show!
Posted by Megan on October 20, 2010
1. I wave or nod thanks to any driver when they stop to let me by. We don’t have many zebra crossings, though.
2. Depends. In a well lit and populated area, I might (and often do). Or I get some kind of authority figure to deal with this. Example: Telling some very raucous teenagers to STFU during a very small, intimate Nina Nastasia show.
3. I don’t really get her. Being over the top is one thing, but it’s all artifice, no substance, as far as I can tell.
4. The Metro Toronto Zoo is pretty great, and many zoos do good work, but I think that nature preserves are a much better idea. I have been to sad, underfunded zoos and it made me very depressed.
5. I know a few people who have done this, but jealousy took over in 90% of them. The other 10% have been into the ‘alternative lifestyle’ (if you can call swinging that) for longer than they’ve been with their partners, so it hasn’t been a problem. It’s not for me, though.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on October 20, 2010
1) I tend to acknowledge drivers who stop and sometimes wave but I keep waving to those who have stopped anywhere to let me cross.
2) I never pluck up the courage to stand up to people as I worry about how they react and I can’t deal well in confrontation. For example, at Alton Towers people were queue jumping so my friends stood up to them and had a go whilst I was too chicken so just acted as the human barrier stopping them getting any further.
3) I love Lady Gaga, her songs are so good and she gets a lot of bad press for being rude but she says she has Lupus which is why she can come across as that (she’s also a diva but I like her so want to defend her)
4) I like zoos, if they treat the animals lovingly and caringly than I can’t see them as cruel but yet again the cages aren’t that big.
5) open relationships = f*** buddies (Pandora put it nicer than me) One of the couples will likely get jealous because the other one might get more action than themselves (and if I was in OR, I’d constantly worry that I wasn’t as good as the others and if I was then why is he not with me)
Posted by Linsey on October 20, 2010
Hello! I haven’t posted on here for about a week, but it feels like ages. So here goes:
1. I watched a programme (Grumpy Old Men?) when I was younger that said as a driver, when people don’t acknowledge you’ve let them pass you feel like mowing them down. I don’t drive, so wouldn’t know, but I always try and be polite and wave, since they have the potential to kill me, but so far have yet to! Thanks guys!
2. I spend a lot of my time on trains, and so have come across a lot of train dickheads. However I’m too much of a coward to do anything about them, and normally just try and ignore them, or tweet about it. One day I’m just gonna channel Michael Legge and go crazy on them.
3. The simple answer would be that I like Lady Gaga. The more complex one; I like her because she makes good music even though I’m not a really fan of that genre, she’s an interesting personality compared to the other arguabley dull and monotonous pop singers out there, she’s created a lot of controversy about gender issues and isn’t afraid of what people think of her. I don’t like her because she’s overtly sexual when a lot of children look up to her, she calls her fans ‘little monsters’ or something. Eh.
4. I don’t really like zoos, they make me a bit sad. Good fun when you’re a child and don’t really have a moral compass.
5.I suppose it takes all sorts of things to make different types of people happy. Just because it wouldn’t work for one couple doesn’t mean it can’t for another, so I guess in theory it could work.
Just realised I completely sat on the fence for all of those. Good luck forming an opinion based on that big pile of nothing I just wrote! x
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on October 20, 2010
This is fun, I have LOTS of opinions.
1. I tend to wave a ‘thank you’, cos even though drivers are meant to stop, they don’t 100% of the time. And its not that much effort really, and manners are nice.
2. Depends on the situation I think. Ideally yes, but perhaps not if you have concerns for your own safety eg confronting a large group of people/drunks.
3. I think I’ve probably mentioned this before, I adore Lady Gaga. I don’t know whether she’s cool or not though. Depends on your own standards, I suppose. I would seem that mine are quite low…
4. Bad zoos are cruel. Nice conservation-ish zoos are fun.
5. I don’t think open relationships can work. Cos its not really a relationship, more being friends with ‘benefits’. I’m not very good at sharing, and I’m quite selfish, so I don’t really understand the point of letting your partner wander off with other people.