Pressed on
Thanks for all the goodwill generated by yesterday’s whinge. I can honestly say I wasn’t angling for compliments – and I certainly have done that on this blog before, you’ll know it when you see it – but trying to set my thoughts in order about comments. To all those who pointed out that the comment was really quite mild, and nothing to get upset about: you’re right, and I’ve certainly had worse, and there could be people right now writing far meaner things on forums like www.peoplewhodontdocomedybitchaboutpeoplewhodo.com. It’s just on your own site, it always comes as a bit of a shock, because this is the one place I tend to pride myself on a ‘vibe’ of near-total positivity.
But having said that, I don’t want to live in some sort of fool’s paradise where everyone says how great I am for fear of being shot (as I said, it did work for Stalin, but I’m not all that keen for my legacy to be similar to Stalin’s). So I’m going to press on with my no-censorship policy unless someone says something truly offensive, I think.
Also, I think the bit which riled me – and it’s not really the commenter’s fault – was the line ‘if you want to keep taking people’s money’ because it made me feel sort of cheap and mercenary. Even though there shouldn’t be any shame attached to me charging money for people to see my shows any more than, say, a builder would feel any compunction about charging someone to put a kitchen in. I think it’s because I have quite an old-school middle-class relationship with money and my worst fear is someone not feeling they’ve got good value. And I have quite a track record of straining hard to provide value. The 24-hour shows, for example. Maybe I should make that bastard come to one of THOSE and see how he likes me at the end of that.
Still, we’ll leave the subject of my chronic oversensitivity and move on. Some people asked if they missed out on the second part of Can I Help You?, which I began on the way to Australia. The answer is no, sadly I’ve not written it yet. So if you had a pressing, time-sensitive problem which didn’t get answered in the first part, by now it has probably overwhelmed you. Sorry about that. I reckon I’ll have it done in the next week or so.
Also outstanding:
-I never awarded a Toblerone for the best ‘first’. Think I’ll try to do that tomorrow.
-Ages ago I invited people to name regrets of things they’d never done, and undertook to make some of them come true (Mark’ll Fix It (Possibly)). Haven’t done this yet, either. But I didn’t put a time limit on this, luckily.
-I still have to write a summary of my, and others’, Ten Year Self-Improvement Challenge progress. But I am continuing to read the site.
-Um… I think there might be more things, too. If you can think of anything I said I’d do, and don’t seem to have managed yet, do let me know below. I like to keep up, at least vaguely, with the rash promises I’ve made.
I am on the way to Preston now. I’ve already been to Bristol and London today and must end the day by travelling back to Bristol after the show. This is my excuse for any drop-off in blog quality/quantity this week. This will be the most stressful week of the tour, in fact, even though it’s only Week 2, because of the number of other things I’m fitting in. In fact, I might try and have twenty minutes’ sleep now. Right now. Night night.
Posted by DeborahF on October 17, 2010
Well I’m coming to the Derby show on Tuesday which doesn’t give me much time to come up with something weird to sign. I will get my thinking cap on.
Anyway, glad to hear the Glasgow show went well and I’ll be sure to say hello on Tuesday.
Posted by Martin Bellamy on October 14, 2010
For fans of a comedian I think it a bit odd that some of you have mistaken Depraviato’s comments for something serious.
He’s joking!!!!
Alright, it’s Blackpool humour but he’s still joking!!!
Posted by Shell on October 13, 2010
@Corry – Spot on totally agree.
Mark – your openness and willingness to engage and describe your feelings about your gigs etc is part of your charm. Your blogs both interest and amuse me – highs and lows are part of the human experience after all. It’s a great pleasure to have the opportunity to cheer for you, tease you, laugh with you, support you and defend you, when necessary from unworthy, ill-considered criticism that you certainly do not deserve.
I would describe you as extremely professional and would never doubt your commitment or preparation for a second. Had I seen the negative comment I would have simply not rated it or recognised it as having any credibility and moved onto the next one. Not so easy for you to do that of course. I fully understand that – I am useless myself when I am criticised and totally fail to keep it in perspective.
I hope your busy week goes well and that your optimism is boosted once again. As for blogging when you are busy – you know we’ll all just giggle if you simply post “Frisbee!” and *wave*.
x
Posted by aboylikeme on October 13, 2010
@ Depraviato – Are you for real?
Posted by Hannah B on October 13, 2010
I came on here just to say I finally got to see your innocent smoothie advert AND the advert for your new ITV4 footie-related show!
xxx
Go you Mr Watson!!!!
Whilst I was scrolling down to comment on your blog however I noticed somebody with verbal diarrhoea (which you’ll notice I spell beautifully); I do hope Depraviato is suffering from some sort of acute sense of humour infection… ’cause they just seemed picky and downright rude!
Anyway…. I’m still raving about you to the folk of Leicester after seeing you at DMH on the 5th….. Hope you’re well
Posted by ChrisP on October 13, 2010
good, not goon obviously. Gave it a bit of a different meaning that really. whoops.
Posted by ChrisP on October 13, 2010
@Corry BAM! that is a damn goon comment right there!
Just wanted to say, I’ve already seen this show once, in Edinburgh. It is so good I’m going to see it again, laugh at all the jokes I’ve already heard, be amused by the bit with the laptop at the beginning (which me and my family all thought was a novel and entertaining way of amusing the crowd as the entered; never easy to type under pressure) and probably stick around a bit at the end and say hello (even if it involves a bit of a wait) because it is a good show so consider me a returning customer.
You can’t please all the people all the time though, as they say.
Posted by Matthew on October 13, 2010
You did say you would tell us where your DVD would be filmed out of the three potential venues but then maybe I missed it.
Quick question for you (if you’ve got time to answer in your next blog) how different is the touring show from the Edinburgh show? I saw you in Edinburgh so should I come see you again?
Posted by Anna on October 13, 2010
I don’t want to be a nag, but if you’re following up on things, any word on tickets for your programme? I did email you back asking if it was possible to have tickets for the 18th…
Posted by Rachael on October 13, 2010
Weren’t we supposed to helping someone get on a narrow boat? Or was that on Mark’ll fix it?
Posted by Luke on October 13, 2010
Great show at Preston didn’t get time to stay behind so maybe il pop to the Blackburn show if I can get hold of a ticket ! Project Preston. Keep up the good work pal
Posted by cheryl on October 13, 2010
Saw you last night at Preston. Was amazing, I loved every minute of your show. By the way I was the squeaky one. Thanks for signing the book too….xx
Posted by parisianskies on October 13, 2010
5 words…
Last night, you were amazing.
5 more words…
You will always be amazing.
Posted by Depraviato on October 13, 2010
Sorry that I also hereby bring up the distant past but I must comment on the Preston show last night (which I attended and thus am well placed to do so) in a manner not wholly dissimilar to our recent contributor who gave a less than glowing appraisal of one of your recent shows. Those that do not care to read a vitriolic Watson bashing should scroll away from this post as quickly as their mouse operating skills will allow.
Ok firstly – you still have my ticket. You took it from my girlfriend at the start of the gig during a moment of confusion & terror as we were being helped to our seats by an usher. Whilst I appreciate your attempt to resolve the seat allocation dilemma that we found ourselves in, your intervention ended up being counterproductive as the usher no longer had the ticket to refer to. The thing that aggrieved me the most however is the fact that I did not consensually transfer ownership of said ticket over to you, yet you took it anyway. You could call this absent mindedness in the face of a tricky situation, but I call it theft.
As to the performance itself I must point out areas of distinct underperformance which on occasion threatened to develop into ineptitude. For example let me address your typing skills. For a bespectacled fellow like myself the number of non-words that came up underscored with a red line was shocking. We are supposed to be the vanguard of all that is I.T related yet you made us look like rank amateurs. I can only assume that this is symptomatic of what our other recent critic on this blogs referred to as a lack of preparation. Would it really have inconvenienced you too much to perhaps do a few finger stretches and other typing warm-up techniques before you came on?
Furthermore I am from Blackpool and whilst I can understand your prejudices with regard the town itself I must draw your attention to the fact that there are two separate areas of approx 1/4 KM Sq that would now qualify as ‘not that bad’. If you were to rescind your declaration that you would never revisit the place and were willing to take 5-10 minutes out of your schedule I’d gladly show you around these two areas.
Finally, I waited in the queue to have my book signed which I bought for the sole purpose of having a chance to meet you and go over some of the concerns that I had from your evening’s work. Once it was my turn I decided the time wasn’t right to do this so I settled for a signed book and a signed bank card. The signature in the book I have no issue with, but the signature on my bank card is another story. You spelled my Moroccan (and therefore ludicrous) surname perfectly, a task that even when copying from printed materials still requires a great deal of skill. But you’ve gone out of the signature box on just about every letter. This is from a man who signs many a thing so all I conclude from this is that it is another, and sadly more permanent, example of what our previous blog critic referred to as a lack of professionalism.
So to recap I’m rather dismayed after last night. The worst aspect is that I could have used the ticket that you stole from me as a book mark for my proficiently signed copy of Eleven. I’m considering taking this one further.
Posted by Corry on October 13, 2010
Just to add my tuppence worth on audience members criticising Mark (and I’ve not seen the offending comment due to my stupid workload and lack of blog reading time just now)… Mark is one of the hardest working, most self critical people I have ever worked with and every single show/project he does he approaches with nothing less than 100% commitment and professionalism.
Suggesting that he has been slacking or is looking for a way to wangle money out of his fans without putting the work in is absolutely ridiculous and obviously comes from someone who has absolutely no idea what a difficult and draining job comedy can be.
I suggest whoever made the comment come to the next show that I work on with Mark, and if you feel that he has put in anything other than his full effort you can direct your comments to me and I’ll try to sort you out some tickets for some floppy haired, lazy, observational comic who has no personal connection or concern for his fans as that may be more your cup of tea.
Apologies for the terse tone of this, it has taken all my effort not to swear.
Posted by Peacock Lady on October 13, 2010
Had a fantastic time last night at Preston! My 15 year old nephews very quickly found out that despite their best efforts, they can’t possibly squeeze themselves under their seats when a family member starts heckling & doing peacock impressions. bless them. Good luck on the tour. perhaps you’ll hear the faint distant sound of a kookaburra’s mating call when you’re up in Lancashire again later this year! Cooo Coooo!
Posted by Martin Bellamy on October 13, 2010
Really enjoyed Preston last night – sorry I didn;t say hello – there was a huge queue as we left and we had to get back.
I thought it went really well: kangaroo, peacocks, chasing (but no happy Birthday greeting for me – Boo!)
Posted by Kate W on October 13, 2010
I don’t think anyone’s going to lose sleep if those things don’t get finished in the next week, other than you, given how much you’re already trying to get done.
Preston to Bristol sounds like a swine of a journey – hope you get some rest on the way.
Posted by Misha on October 13, 2010
I think most of the freshers based questions have been and gone.
And I’d also totally forgotten about the things you wish you’d done, I believe you threatened to make one persons dream come true, and put other people in touch with fellow watsonians who could help.
If you want a hand writing up any of this I hearby offer mine, anything to distract from uni.
Posted by Katie on October 12, 2010
I did the same as Rachel. Oh, how I fail.
Posted by Hal on October 12, 2010
Avoid the snackbar at Preston station. I was pretty ill after eating there….
Posted by Ivan (@ivanbrett) on October 12, 2010
You are quite a bit like Stalin, though. I could list the ways, but I fear being shot.
*is removed in the night*
Posted by jan c on October 12, 2010
We went to see the show in Stoke last week- it was great. I had planned to buy the new book at the end and get is signed for my teenage son but after the show they had stopped selling them. Is there anywhere I can buy a signed copy before Christmas???
Posted by Ingrid on October 12, 2010
I ordered your book ‘eleven’ two weeks at the book shop and it finally came today! But by the time i got to the book shop it was shut… Oh well, guess ill get it tomorrow.
Posted by Jack on October 12, 2010
Hi, will it be possible at one of your shows to do a little interview? Mark’ll fix it for me if he gave me the chance to perform with him oned day
Posted by Sam on October 12, 2010
Sorry for going back to the whole comment debacle (it’ll be brief, honest) but I didn’t get a chance to read it yesterday.
As an aspiring comedian, and having just started my Uni’s comedy soc, people were nervous and performing, and it’s really comforting to know that even brilliant and established acts (i.e you) can feel like it goes badly, and not everyone likes them. Makes it less daunting for us, I know it is of little comfort from the hate (but it seems other people have taken care of that, that sounds vaguely threatening) but hopefully it helps with your dilemma of whether you should’ve said it or not.
That was me being brief, now for me ‘pressing on’ with this comment (see what I did there?).
Don’t worry about things being slightly late, we have ten years here so what’s two weeks? Probably better if you sleep and are able to continue to exist rather than try and type out lots and lots of brilliantly witty and insightful blogs and die from exhaustion and RSI in a fortnight. I say probably, I’m not a hundred percent sure on that, I would like to know who gets that Toblerone.
So in summary, buck up lad.
(That last bit is conditional on ‘bucking’ being something worthwhile you doing, and you not minding being referred to as ‘lad’ even by someone younger than you.)
Posted by amycool on October 12, 2010
I hope this week isn’t too stressful. Having more than one thing to do in one day is considered stress for me (or having one thing to do if it’s buy a car) so I wouldn’t like to imagine having your agenda.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on October 12, 2010
Yeahh, I genuinely thought that was a real website, and was confused when it wouldn’t load. I’m dead stupid, me.
Posted by Someone on October 12, 2010
“love today, anyway you want to, anyway you’ve got to; love love.” – Sorry, I felt compelled.
Posted by hornseygirl on October 12, 2010
You’re clocking up the (presumably) train miles! All the best for tonight. : )