A bit about running and a bit about relativism
All this talk on the blog about running has clearly got into some people’s heads, to judge from a sudden outbreak of exercise vows in the past 24 hours:
‘Can I just say that your amazing half marathon has inspired me and my mum to think about doing a bit of running. We might not get to the stage of actually doing any, but at least we are thinking about it which is more than we’ve ever done before. I think we’ve made huge progress. So cheers for that!’ Meg
‘I’ll maybe go for a run tomorrow, you and Minchin have made me feel bad for my terrible unfitness.’ Misha
‘I’ve decided I’m going to walk (yeah… i’m not a runner, even if the distance was less) Lands End to John O Groats! I’m so excited and this blog kind of seems topical. You can have some of the kudos for ‘inspiring’ me if ya like :]’ Someone.
…and this is in addition to Megan running a 5k for Breast Cancer. Good work, everyone – especially ‘Someone’ (we really need an actual name for you, so we can address you properly). If you do carry out this bold plan, let us know nearer the time and we can hook up for some sort of regular updates…
And for them and anyone else who might be about to get the old trainers on, a bit of coaching from a commenter named Nye:
‘I did the Sheffield Half-Marathon in 1998 in a time of 1h 50m 23s, 4 seconds under your time, Mark. The only training I did was running less than a mile to my mate Steve’s house on the eve of said half-marathon, eating a bowl of pasta, playing ‘World Cup 98′ for 3 hours on his N64, getting a lift home from his mum. Nintendo 64s can be bought fairly cheaply on eBay these days and basic dried pasta is available from most grocers (I think it was penne).’
…are you listening, Minchin? That’s the way to prepare.
In other news, a ‘funny old world’ observation: by being over here in Australia, I’m missing what is probably a fairly underwhelming, but nonetheless historic, visit by the Pope. Like a good many people (including, vocally, the aforementioned Minchin), I don’t care for the Pope and I don’t think his visit ought to be a matter for celebration. However, a well-known TV presenter just put something on Twitter saying that if we value our liberal society and respect others’ beliefs, we should be careful about insulting him/Catholicism in our tweets.
The answer to this is fairly obvious – in a truly liberal democracy you don’t support people (like the Pope) who have allowed crimes to happen in the name of his institution, enjoyed vast wealth while promoting ignorance in poorer parts of the world, been a Nazi, etc etc. (I didn’t tweet this back to her, because I’m too scared, and I’m sure others will, anyhow.) But it does make you think, it’s interesting what people think being ‘liberal’ is. If you take the word too literally, and take it to mean ‘everything’s pretty much cool with me’, then you can end up overlooking enormous injustices because you think all morality is ‘relative’ and you’re therefore showing intellectual flexibility by not speaking up about them.
And on the flipside – several people yesterday sent me a link to what I took to be a spoof story: Calvin College, which is in Michigan, USA, cancelled a gig by my beloved New Pornographers because they received ‘many complaints’ about the band’s name. The New Pornographers are, of course, not people who sell porn; they are an accomplished musical act. In the same way, by calling themselves the Killers, the Killers were not admitting to having murdered people. Elton John isn’t really called Elton John, even.
It’s truly astonishing and galling that there could be adults who don’t understand that, and who – even if they do understand it – think it’s appropriate to censor a music gig based on nothing more than the NAME of a performer. While at the same time in another western country, millions of people turn out to see a man who, at the very least, is guilty of enjoying vast wealth while posing as God’s representative on earth. And at worst is a criminal.
So I suppose what I’m saying is, all we want is to live in a society that’s not so bizarrely conservative that you can’t be a band with a (barely, ever so slightly) provocative name, but not so hung up on ideas of liberalism that we tolerate even flagrant abuses of general morality because we think we have to ‘respect everyone’s beliefs’. Is that too much to ask?
You’ve been listening to A Bit About Running And A Bit About Relativism by Mark Watson (30).
PS I’m aware of the massive contradiction of saying one ought to take a stand against the Pope, and yet I didn’t have the balls even to TWEET back to the lady who defended his visit. But I have a bit of a crush on her, you see. Bye.
Posted by Nye on September 18, 2010
Is it just me or does anyone else find it suspicious that the head of a huge organisation that doesn’t do all it could to remove paedophiles from it’s midst drives around in an icecream van…
*Cue classic Northern Working Mans Club comedian voice*
“How many catholic priests have molested children out of the Popes ice-cream van? Somewhere between ’99′ and ‘Hundreds and Thousands’ but at least they got a wafer with it… I Thank you Ladies n Gentlemen, like the Pope in a third world country: I’m here all week”
On a slightly more serious note, the Hitler youth thing was what all kids of 14 had to join, apparently his father was against the Nazis as it clashed with his catholic beliefs and his Downs Syndrome cousin was murdered under Hitler’s eugenics program. Then again he’s guilty of genocide by proxy due to his stance on condom usage which basically amounts to “God would rather you die of AIDS and come to heaven now than live a long healthy life and burn in eternal damnation later” sooooo it’s swings and roundabouts….
Posted by Hannahq on September 17, 2010
I saw that tweet, and I thought pretty much what you did. Except I just sort of went, “no” (out loud) and did something else. I didn’t think of any actual argument.
I do keep meaning to go for a run, but then it gets to it, and I’m tired, and I remember that running is quite a lot of effort.
Posted by Clembear on September 17, 2010
Well one of the issues with liberalism in its extreme, you get to the “ACLU defends the right of Neo-Nazis to burn the ACLU headquarters to the ground” (bless you the Onion). So as with most important things in life, you can’t apply simple rules and hope it works.
Is the Pope the head of Vatican City? Which is its own state…..
None of the other major religions have a head – if there was another one, what would people think about a visit from him or her?
I’d really like the visit from the Pope to coincide with a history of Catholicism and anti-Catholicism in Britain. Isn’t loads of Shakespeare anti-Catholic due to who was Queen at the time, despite him being a Catholic? That way we can all feel better about not setting fire to unbelievers anymore.
Posted by Laura on September 17, 2010
By far the best bit about the Pope’s visit is the Popemobile.
I am as annoyed by his presence as I am by the fact that ice-cream advert with the pregnant nun was banned in case in offended Catholics. Strange how they can be offended by that, but remain silent when it comes to the crimes of their ‘moral’ leaders. Grrr.
Posted by Daniel on September 17, 2010
I always think it must be so easy to be reactionary and absolutist, cos you could have a clear, black and white guideline of morality; this is right, this is wrong. Its difficult being a liberal because, as you say, where do you draw the line? Difficult, but, still better I think. Morality is far too complex and subjective to be judged in a black and white over-simplistic way. It has to be treated with compassion.
Posted by Juliet on September 17, 2010
I agree completely with your thoughts about the Pope (whatever that word means, anyway). I go to a catholic school and every year it gets more and more bizarre to hear them defending things like massacres and massive lies. I like them as a community, and I really think they do positive things, but when it comes to God-related issues they get very stupid.
I think it’s obvious to say that I’m an atheist, and I chose that school on purpose. Because, in spite of the religion stuff (which I don’t really share with them) they have proven to be excellent educators.
But yes, Catholicism is a weird, weird world.
Posted by Madeleine on September 17, 2010
I would RIOT if the New Pornographers were banned from my school, that is outrageous!
The pope is fairly irrelevant to me (and many others I think) so if he just wanted to visit, that would be okay, but the problems are (as others have said) when taxpayers have to pay for it and when he insists on spouting nonsense like “abstinence only” and protecting child rapists. He’s the ultimate symbol of the Catholic church’s refusal to move into the present, and I think eventually they’ll either get rid of popes completely or just die out.
Hope you’re enjoying Australia and the book launches are going brilliantly!
Posted by Ally on September 16, 2010
I was watching the ABC news this morning and they were discussing how some protesters (about the Pope) thought that he should be arrested, even if just as a joke. Or something. I kind of stopped paying attention after I got a mental image of the Pope being arrested.
Posted by Rhian on September 16, 2010
It angers me that we are paying for the papal visit, although I’m not really sure what to do with that anger. There doesn’t even seem to have been the amusing accessories available this time round – the popescope, the popemobile etc. My most abiding memory of the 1982 visit is the pope flying over the Leicestershire village I was inhabiting at the time in the Good Year Blimp, on his way to giving the mass mass in Coventry. Other than my family I am yet to meet anyone else who can recall this taking place. We have photos of the Blimp, although admittedly it is too far away to make out the pope. It would be fantastic if other ‘Watsonians’ had observed this unique event, as I am beginning to suspect my parents have been having me on all these years.
Posted by Steph on September 16, 2010
I also agree with Stephen Fry (I almost just called him solely by his last name, didn’t work). Fine he (the Pope) can come, but I’d rather not pay for it all when he has, as you say, ‘enjoyed vast wealth’. When the leader of my religion makes visits around the world, I don’t expect people that don’t agree with his views to be the ones footing the majority of the bill.
Only 8% of the population was Catholic in 2001!
And I’ve just found out who your “well-known TV presenter” is. And apart from the whole liberal tweet…*FOLLOW!*
Posted by Irwin on September 16, 2010
and sorry for the double post.
I’m terrible at the internet…
Posted by Irwin on September 16, 2010
I found this blog pretty interesting, regarding the moral standpoint of the Pope’s visit etc etc.
And without wanting to seem like I’m using this as an opportunity to promote myself (although I totally am) I wrote a piece for an American website a few days ago about the responsibilites of free speech and stand up comedy:
http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/jdirwin/2010/09/pornographic-pictures-of-the-virgin-mary-are-nearly-always-inappropriate/
(the title is basically just to grab attention, as clearly I’m something of an attention whore)
Although I didn’t mention you, Watson, I did have you in mind, thinking about comedians who do seem to have strong priniciples. (An impression I get mostly from reading this blog every day)…
Posted by Irwin on September 16, 2010
I found this blog pretty interesting, regarding the moral standpoint of the Pope’s visit etc etc.
And without wanting to seem like I’m using this as an opportunity to promote myself (although I totally am) I wrote a piece for an American website a few days ago about the responsibilites of free speech and stand up comedy:
http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/jdirwin/2010/09/pornographic-pictures-of-the-virgin-mary-are-nearly-always-inappropriate/
(the title is basically just to grab attention, as clearly I’m something of an attention whore)
Although I didn’t mention you, Watson, I did have you in mind, thinking about comedians who do seem to have strong priniciples. (An impression I get mostly from reading this blog every day)…
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on September 16, 2010
I want to try running but know I get out of breath dashing for a bus and I worry I’ll embarrass myself trying to run on the street. I’m not really much of a runner.
Maybe I’ll go to a gym and build up a bit of confidence (although that could also become embarrassing when I’m next to fit people who can run quite far).
I think what I’m trying to say is I would like to run.
I haven’t really paid much attention to the whole pope thing so don’t think I can really give a far judgement on it all but will echo other people’s views that banning a band just on a name is beyond silly. Would they happily let Slipknot play? (I couldn’t think of a band then)
Was it the mum from outnumbered who tweeted that?
Posted by Lydia on September 16, 2010
I’m find it kind of hard to say what I think about the pope coming over because it annoys me too much.
I wish I could say I intend to get more exercise without it being a lie.
Posted by Kathryn on September 16, 2010
I tried three times to write some sort of coherent comment about the Pope thing. I give up. Northern Irish perspective is too complicated. And there’s too much about it on twitter etc. already.
I cannot tolerate the idea of running. I’ll just sit here and eat crisps and sponsor you all instead.
Posted by Rachael on September 16, 2010
If you find this ‘not conservative but not too liberal’ society I want to come too please.
Posted by Someone on September 16, 2010
Not sure which is more ridiculous.. the pope visiting/existing, or an actual gig cancelled because of their name, and nothing to do with their talent or actual proposed gig content. Crazy.
And yes, hopefully plans shall come together and I’ll give y’a shout just before I pop out to Scotland. God, this was silly ha.
Posted by MusicalLottie on September 16, 2010
I quite liked Stephen Fry’s take on the Pope’s visit, which was basically: the Catholics are of course entitled to think what they like of the Pope, and who are we to say he can’t visit? But his visit should NOT be a state visit, paid for by the taxpayer – especially galling as this Pope is who he is. [In the interests of fairness, it'd be different if he had a past and were repentant; though alas this is evidently not the case.]
I don’t understand why the church can’t pay for the visit; as an organisation it has enough money by far! (I would feel the same way about any other religious leader, by the way – even if an organisation hasn’t a great deal of money, the burden of such visits still oughtn’t fall upon taxpayers’ shoulders.)
On a more positive note, you’ve inspired a lot of people Mark! I’ve recently bought a pair of walking boots from eBay (which were a fantastic bargain) and have started to explore the footpaths across the fields surrounding us; the boots are very comfortable, the footpaths beautiful, so I’m really chuffed! And your half-marathon effort inspired me to push myself to walk further than I would otherwise have done
Posted by Max on September 16, 2010
I’m surprised how we, as a human race, have done such wonderful things like walking on the moon and yet still believe in religion.
I’m not gonna comment further because I’m a nice person and religious debates tend to take out the worst of me (btw, ANY religion).
Posted by Misha on September 16, 2010
I’d like to state I went for a jog in the early hours this morning having woken up at the ungodly hour of 5.30.
I now can’t walk. Although that perhaps owes more to how far I walked afterwards trying to find somewhere to buy flour.
Not convinced by the pope, but most catholics are lovely.
That’s it really.
Posted by Mariam on September 16, 2010
I saw a band called Holy Fuck play at Reading Festival this year. I don’t think Calvin College, Michigan would particularly like them, either. It is silly that a band can be refused to play somewhere just because of their name, though. I’d like to start a band called “The Single Most Offensive Word You Can Think Of” and then tour (obviously we’d need to make an album first), and see if we get banned anywhere purely through the power of suggestion.
Posted by Alice on September 16, 2010
Hi Mark, impressive stuff from all would-be, might-be and have-been runners.
I’m grateful for the more relaxed comments re the Pope’s ‘state visit’. As a Catholic Atheist (see Dara O’Briain) I’m really looking forward to today being over. It’s a weird state of mind where I’m of course appalled at the actions of the Church (though they’ve not had a great track record through the centuries: see The Crusades, The Inquisition, The Magdalene Sisters etc). On the other hand I’m also used to a fair bit of stick from Anglicans and being asked questions so ignorant as to be impertinent, the pinnacle of which was ‘are you in the IRA?’.
For me the ‘I don’t believe in fairies’ moment came as a great relief but I’m not about to trash the faith of my family, who are intelligent, moral
people and who were as astonished as they were disappointed with Ratzinger’s appointment, he having earned the nickname of ‘God’s Rottweiler’ in his role aiding John Paul II take the church deep into the middle ages.
From a liberal point of view it’s worth noting the Catholic-bashing in our own constitution: when all the girls my age went giddy over Prince William I was informed I was legally barred from marrying into the royal family, in case I single handedly organised a coup and handed the country over to the church.
Anyway, I’m all for Pope bashing, this one is particularly, though not uniquely odious and I look forward to his return to the Vatican as much as I dread being dragged to midnight mass this Christmas Eve. I just resent being smugly ‘tolerated’ by anyone for the faith and culture in which I was raised.
Posted by heatherooo on September 16, 2010
Wow. I’m pretty sure disregarding a musical act because of their NAME is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I saw the New Pornographers a week and a half ago in Glasgow and their show was possibly one of the best I’ve been to in a while. It’s a shame that people are being deprived of the same opportunity simply because a couple of narrow minded people made a complaint about a name.
It doesn’t make any sense to me that a band who makes wonderful music should be censored because of a name, and yet the pope is being treated almost as though he is above humanity and respected as such. It’s a load of rubbish.
Posted by Anji on September 16, 2010
Maybe you can join in her ‘primary school homework debate’… Blah. Views on things can be so different!
For potential runners out there, that also have an iPhone there’s a good app called ‘get running’ it coaches you to get to 5k in a steady way without killing yourself the first time.
I was using it with success before being told to stop before I buggered my knee further. Can’t remember if the app was free, but it can’t of cost much if it wasn’t, I’m a bit tight like that!
Can’t help who you have crushes on Mark. Sometimes they make no sense. I still can’t work out why Bruce Willis is better than Brad Pitt. Luckily I don’t have to, I just except it!
Posted by Megan on September 16, 2010
There is also this famous-ish story from the early 90s about The Barenaked Ladies. (I remember this – I was 14 and too young to see BNL live because they normally played in bars.)
http://www.canadacool.com/COOLFACTS/ONTARIO/TorontoBarenakedLadies.html