Can I Help You? 4
Flushed with the success of yesterday’s bid to run a really long way without dying, I am using the blog today to re-open the popular feature Can I Help You, in which I invite your questions/pleas for advice on all aspects of modern living.
The questions can be purely factual- e.g. What is David Mitchell like?, something which two people asked at the weekend, and which I’ll address as the opening question when I write this feature- or intensely emotional, e.g. I’ve killed someone, what do I do? In my capacity as Agony Aunt I will try to deal with all queries, and also pass them on to the rest of the Watsonian community, who’ve never failed to solve a problem before.
Put your questions below as Comments. You can of course post anonymously.
To see how this feature works, look back at previous Can I Help You? blogs. The last one was, ooh, ages ago- June? But now I’ve got a flight to Australia to look forward to. I’ll mostly be using it to work on the next book, but something like this will fit nicely alongside that.
Despite the apparent arrogance of the whole venture, this has been one of the
most popular running features, so I hope people will get involved again. Oh and on the subject of ‘features’, there is still time to vote in the last Very Late Review. Again, you’ll need to go back a couple of weeks.
Admin: for reasons I’m not aware of, quite a few comments go for ‘moderation’. It’s me that ‘moderates’ them, but it sometimes takes me a couple of days to do it. So if your comment doesn’t appear- it soon will. Even if it’s abusive.
Please have your problems by the end of Thursday.
Can I Help You?- over 8 people helped worldwide since we began earlier in 2010.
Posted by Josh on September 8, 2010
I’ve got a ring stuck on my finger. Well and truly stuck, I’ve tried so much ice and Vaseline that I could…
That’s not the point.
Posted by soo on September 8, 2010
Sad face – I posted a question and it was waiting for moderation, and now it’s just gone
Posted by Jack G on September 8, 2010
Hi mark, im a young comedy magician trying to get into the world of entertainment mainly doing comedy with some magic having been doing it for five years now i would like to move up a level and possibly make a proffessional step doing high profile events and charity shows just to get my name out thee is they anyway you can help or give me some help and guidance.
Thank You
Jack
Posted by Emily on September 8, 2010
I second h2osarah’s question about the female housemates. I’m in a 6 person all female flat this year, and whilst I lived with 2 of the others last year, I still dread the other 3.
And as for the Freshers thing, I think all the comments on here and on the forum show that all the shy/less confident people who don’t like the clubbing or are just nervous are in no way on their own, it’s just a case of finding the like-minded people (much easier said than done), there are more ways to make friends (and certainly ways to make better friends) than going out getting wasted in a club every night. All my friends are on the same course as me, not met by going out.
Posted by Katy on September 8, 2010
I have something I’d like some advice on.
Im going to a wedding next weekend in Nottingham on my own. The only other person I know there is the groom, I’ve only met his wife to be once and she was on a cross-trainer thingy.
Hes sat with me his band mates so we should all have similar tastes in music so I think I’ll cope with the ceremony and the meal ok. Its the evening do that panics me somewhat. I am quite chatty but with people I know, Im useless at just starting conversations with strangers.
So how do I survive this without spending most of the time hiding in the toilets waiting to go to my hotel?
Posted by Lydia on September 8, 2010
I’m looking forward to the David Mitchell answer.
Posted by ChrisP on September 8, 2010
Freshers: If the first week/month/year goes badly, it’s fine things will at some time sort itself out. My first year sucked. Things are now going wonderfully well. I’m not big on getting drunk on cheap vodka and going dancing in a trashy nightclub to music I hate, but a few months into my second year I found a pub with proper beer that did a comedy night and me and a few people who I know from my course went there every time for the rest of the year. Happy days. And if any of you happen to be going to Bath then you have already made your first friend.
Seriously, freshers week is just about having fun, whatever your idea of fun is. Exam week at the end though…
Elin: I’m doing geography and do a lot of stuff focusing on housing/town and city designs, specifically how they have changed to reflect the different requirements of the changing inhabitants of the area. So, a knackered old high rise 1960′s apartment bloc would look crappy because the needs then are different to needs now and therefore no longer has the wealth in the area so it’s left to rot (because these days it is generally more attractive to live in rural/suburban areas that high rise blocs, foe example). A reflection of society is what I think I’m trying to get at here. Again, this is a bit of a social science take on it by the first thing that sprang to mind was a buildings/needs of society/changing inhabitants kind of thingy- then and now basically. I’m sure somebody can beat that though. Just an idea, I have no idea how well it can be applied by an art course.
And if that fails get Laurs to to it because she is a walkover! I used to be like that occasionally. This changed when I started watching The Thick of It. I’m a fairly confident person though. That has a lot to do with it, Marks already done a blog on confidence somewhere. Never underestimate the power of ‘no’.
Paul: Uni administration are an absolute joke wherever you go. I could tell several stories of getting screwed over by the buggers.
I have a problem. My girlfriend think its is rude of me to always check Marks blog at about quarter to midnight every night, even though we may be in a nightclub (a nice one) dancing, or eating dinner, or something else simmilar. She clearly doesn’t understand the sadness I will feel on the blogless day. I will have to try and introduce her to the blog. This isn’t a serious problem it just amuses me.
Posted by Paul on September 8, 2010
Questions…
1. Do you have a list of Where’s Watson points or is it a keep your own score kinda thing?
2. What’s your new pilot about? Im sorry if this has already been explained.
3. I’m stressed about uni, due to staff within messing me around, and I feel that I’ve stopped being important to them because Im doing part time this year. I have to enrol by friday but don’t exactly know what I’m doing and tonight my dad yelled down the phone at me for not doing enough especially as he will be paying for my tuition fees/council tax/rent along for the first time, my two sister, when I feel like I spend every waking moment thinking about it and researching funding, what I should be doing and where do I go after this year etc. I wrote my dad a very diplomatic email considering my mood, but I really need some advice preferrable someone who can take a neutral stand point.
Thanks for your help, the third questions a beast but it really upset me earlier on.
Posted by helen (@iamanicelady) on September 8, 2010
Marrrrrrrrk! I’m running a half-marathon in a few weeks up in the Great North (which a few other lovely Watsonians have already sponsored me for at http://www.justgiving.com/runhelenbackhouserun). As a seasoned competitor at such a distance, I wanted your advice on a question. Should I, or should I not, have my iPod with me? I always wear it on training runs, though that’s more to block out the hilarious people who shout abuse at runners, but is it worth missing out on people cheering? I’m a little worried because I’m running on my own, and it sounds like you and Paul were a bit of a team when it got tough, so I don’t know whether crowd cheering will be more effective in keeping me going when everything hurts. And also, I’m ridiculously excited about getting one of those tin foil space blankets at the end because they look so fun on telly. Please tell me I won’t be disappointed… xx
Posted by Simon on September 7, 2010
My question: should I leave a job that I essentially love because I don’t get on with my boss and possibly go for a job that is less money, that I’d enjoy (though not as much) but in a place where I have lots more friends?
Advice for freshers
1) Try not to worry. Megan is right, you will not be any more weird than anyone else and there will be other people with you. If you were the only person at school who was interested in whatever you are into there will be at least a few people at uni who are like you.
2) Don’t join lots of clubs and societies. Pick one or two that reflect your interests and join them.
3) Think about volunteering. I was a volunteer with ‘Nightline’ (telephone advice line for students) for three years at uni and it was brilliant. It gave me something to do and a group of people to hang out with.
4) Go to lectures/seminars/tutorials etc and talk to people on your course.
5) Don’t retreat to your room. No matter how hard it is, if you have a break between lectures go and have a coffee/go to the library/etc you’ll either meet someone from your course/hall/etc or meet someone new.
6) Don’t worry. Freshers week might be great, it might be hell but the rest of uni wont be like that.The people I met in Freshers Week were, frankly, idiots and I hung around with them for a month then not again for the rest of uni and made some very good friends with people I met after that.
Posted by Tim on September 7, 2010
I volunteer with hospital radio and have done this for 8 years. I am starting to feel like it is becoming a chore but feel guilty if I pack it in as the radio is very short on volunteers. What should I do?
Posted by Aislinn on September 7, 2010
Oh, and can I just point out how much I laughed at Steph’s question. Eleven IS a slightly inconviently tall book. It doesn’t fit on my bookshelf, either.
Posted by Megan on September 7, 2010
I am ye olde.
Misha & Kathryn:
Be yourself. Why?
1. It is doubtful that you’re any weirder than anybody else. EVERYONE is weird. Fact.
2. Trying too hard is, well, too hard.
Getting involved in stuff you aren’t interested in (like freshers’ nights, which ARE horrible, or student politics) isn’t worth your while. If there are clubs that sound interesting, join them, but don’t feel pressured to get involved in every aspect of student life. Most student unions have a club fair. I went to one in Brum (even though I was ye olde), found out that the photography club was very low-commitment, only cost 10 quid, and that I had free darkroom access any time, which suitable my nerdy unabomberness quite well. MIsha, for example, if there were some kind of comedy or knitting-related group on or near the university, that might suit you better than drunken ‘trust’ exercises in the wilderness.
Other than that, I participated in lectures and discussion groups, chatted with roommates, and sometimes socialised largely online with friends from Canuckistan (or other parts of the UK that weren’t Brum). (Socialising was hard for me since I was already 26 and my flatmates were a lot younger. It was interesting to get hit on by 17-year-old neighbours though.)
(Undergrad was in Ottawa, so I had a large-ish circle of friends already.)
–
Madeleine, to add to this, four years isn’t a waste. University is not just about books, but about experience, opportunities to network, and just becoming a grown-up person.
–
My question is about balancing work and fun. I am often so exhausted (both mentally and physically) on weekends that I just want to sleep and zone out instead of working on projects I had planned (like an art/photography show I have had rumbling in my head for a year and this damned script that may never actually get written). Even my poor garden is suffering from my lack of inertia (or whatever it is). Ideas?
Posted by Sophie on September 7, 2010
Hi, couple of problems I have. Am I allowed to ask two, I feel helplessly self centred, anyway:
1. I am a lurker on this blog, and I’m always a lurker. Any advice on how to become less lurky?
2. My friend saw you in Edinburgh and she got a book signed, I’m really really jealous. Will you ever come to Manchester and do a signing?
Thank you!
Posted by Misha on September 7, 2010
Just to say thanks everyone for your advice, had a whole load of uni admin and freshers welcome back etc today, which if i’m honest has just put me off going all together.
Urgh. Freshers will be a challenge.
Posted by Chris H on September 7, 2010
I’ve got a very boring middle-age / middle-class problem that I’m struggling to solve.
My partner Richard and I bought a house in the country about 3 years ago – Richard lives there all the time, but I go home only at weekends and rent a small flat in London during the week. Richard runs his own business, but it doesn’t bring in a lot of money at the moment, so I pay 99% of the mortgage, bills…etc.
It was all going very well, and it did feel as though I was going on holiday every weekend. But… I am now sick of living away from home, and want us to move closer to London so that I can commute daily. Richard is self-employed and can work anywhere, whereas I have a specialised job and have to work in London. Also, I recently had to take a pay cut as a long-term career move, which has added some financial pressure. Worrying about paying for somewhere I don’t live during the week has taken the shine off weekends at home.
I have raised the issue of moving, without really explaining why, but Richard really doesn’t want to move. He’s developed a big group of friends, and loves (and has invested a lot of time in) the house. I love the house too, but the cost and stress of living in two places (not to mention being away from home 4 nights out of 7) is wearing me down. I sometimes feel I don’t belong anywhere.
Part of me thinks I should just say “I pay for everything, and I want to move so we are moving”, but that would be unfair, and no relationship should work that way. And I was the one who took the pay cut, knowing what that might mean. But equally I can’t be expected to carry on if it makes me unhappy. I know Richard would move if he knew how unhappy it was making me – so basically either I make him unhappy, or I stay unhappy…
I appreciate that, as problems go, this is not a bad one to have. I am a very lucky man indeed. But I would appreciate your views and advice (or, failing that, hints for dirt cheap accommodation in the centre of London…).
For what it is worth…
Elin – what about Park Hill Flats in Sheffield? http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/sheffield/hi/people_and_places/newsid_8485000/8485959.stm
Kathryn & Misha – I completely agree with everything Kate W said.
Carl – How about picking a flavour you don’t like and resolving only to eat that flavour?
Posted by Madeleine on September 7, 2010
Yay, the first agony aunt to run a marathon! (That’s probably true…)
Had a minor crisis yesturday – realised that I will definatly not be getting into the course that I wanted to do. I re-read the application criteria and you need to submit a portfolio outlining “practical experience and creative projects” and considering I’ve never done anything practical or creative in my life, pretty much rules me out.
Anyway, I do have a backup, but it’s a four year course, B.A media communications, whereas the other one was just a one year super intensive. Not so much a question, but I need re-assuring that spending four years at university isn’t actually as long as it sounds and I won’t come out a 21 year old crone with no skills and lucky to be working reception at a marketing firm.
Hope you’re recovering well, wish I could come up to see you in Sydney but am without money/employment. Moving there next year though!
Posted by Jonty on September 7, 2010
Couple of things
1. Having just landed a commentary gig for Chester FC, and with your bio saying that you wanted to be a commentator, which cliches and sayings should I actively avoid/seek out?
2. Given that a friend and I still regularly text each other saying “have you seen this on the Back of the Net wiki?” and each end up crying with laughter, is this something you’re still interested in updating, or has it fallen by the wayside now?
Posted by Aislinn on September 7, 2010
I really like Laura’s question; it’d be a task to solve it but I reckon it’s the kind of thing us Watsonians could manage. Mainly it seems to fit really nicely with the whole optimism topic.
A question for Can I Help You, if I may (though it’s not a problem as such, and also not the kind of thing that anyone could answer unless it was you. So, er. Yeah.).
You talk about Kit a lot (obviously) in your blog in general. It sometimes occurs to me that by the time this daily blog and TYSIC have come to a conclusion, Kit will be coming to the end of primary school. If he gets as much of a mention then as he does now, it’d sort of feel like we know quite a bit about him and the first ten years of his life. He’d know, quite possibly, literally nothing about any of us. Does this ever occur to you, too/do you find it slightly weird?
Sorry.
It’s a very long question.
Posted by Laura on September 7, 2010
Please only write about David Mitchell in complimentary terms – I have a massive crush on him and don’t want my illusions shattered. Thank you.
How does one go about getting over the whole ‘grass is greener’ thing? I am terrible for it – I am totally convinced that everyone’s life is better than my own (even though I am aware that mine is, in many ways, pretty lucky). I have sabotaged a few good things in my life because I seem unable to accept and enjoy what I am given. I’m getting rather sick of it. Thanks!
Posted by Josh on September 7, 2010
Hi Mark, saw you on Would I Lie To You the other day, and couldn’t stop laughing over the Connect 4 losing incident. This has got nothing to do with Can I Help You?, but I was wondering, are there any other similar incidents that you could share on your blog? Thanks
Posted by Max on September 7, 2010
For the shy- freshers: I have the unique experience of having been a “fresher” not once but three times. Once as I did my original masters back home, then I moved to Netherlands to do a post master and since june I’m still here doing my PhD. All with different people.
I am super shy. At least that’s what I think, cause most of my friends from here don’t believe me because I act pretty confidently around them. And actually (as many said before) that’s the key for making friends in an unknown place: Be confident on yourself. Everyone is scared like hell. Everyone is looking for people to relate to, you are not an exception. So act naturally.
I think that most of my shyness stems from me thinking that other people will think my interests are silly if they find out about them.
So I used to retreat. “If they don’t know me, they won’t think I’m silly” used to be my motto as a freshman in my masters. It was quite miserable until I met a friend that was so outgoing that he managed to get through my “defenses”.
When I moved here for my post master, I had learned a LOT about life and how to interact with strangers, so I pretty much met everyone here without a problem. Talking about personal things with complete strangers actually made it easier for me, cause I knew that if they thought I was an idiot… then it wouldn’t change my life in the slightest.
I think it is a lot like the fear of asking a girl out because she may say “no”. We all have that fear (at least us, shy people), until you actually get the feared “no” and realize the world didn’t end and life continues.
So, in short, what I’m trying to say is do not be afraid to fail. Just be confident on yourself, you WILL find someone that thinks that even your most ridiculous life interests are actually interesting and will like you for it.
The ONLY way of not making new friends in the Uni is not trying. Believe me I know. And the worst kind of mistakes you can do in your life is NOT trying something. That way you’ll always question yourself “what would have happened if…?”
When you seriously fuck up, say you ruin a potential friendship because you tell a cat lover that you like shooting cats in your spare time, you learn! next time you will probably inquire about the degree of cat-lovingness of a person before…
Posted by Rachael on September 7, 2010
I do love this feature. I can’t wait to hear you’re David Mitchell verdict too!
Posted by Lasse Rimmer on September 7, 2010
Am I an idiot for not being able to find an RSS-feed for the blog? Let me rephrase that: Where’s the RSS-feed?
Posted by Rachel Winter on September 7, 2010
Misha – not sure exactly how shy you mean – but really, just be yourself. Half the point of Uni is to be able to be or to find out who you really are and what you like.
If you mean shy to the level of socially awkward, well, it’s always the freaks and misfits and quiet or ‘weird’ people that go on to be the most interesting and nicest people later in life (I’m basing this partly on how i imagine most of the comedians i like would have been at college ie robin ince josie long etc).
And fellow shy people will find you. so that next time instead of hiding in the loos at a rubbish party, there’ll be four of you playing Boggle in your room.
oh dear, ive turned into auntie rachel, but i hope any of that helps.
Posted by Alex on September 7, 2010
Shy freshers- pretend not to be. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I was once a shy fresher myself, and it worked for me.
Pretending to be confident and outgoing meant fresher’s week was fun, but really quite hard work and absolutely exhausting, but it was definitely worth it. It meant by the end of it I had a decent sized group of people that I could be pretty normal with, whereas people who hadn’t really joined in still didn’t really have anyone much to turn to.
I know it’s scary- I was terrified- but most people are really nice and do want to talk to you and care about what you have to say, and you more than likely have much more to say for yourself than you ever really realised.
I’ve become much less shy since I started uni, and definitely better at hiding it when I am. Perhaps this was going to happen anyway, but I doubt it somehow.
Posted by Tibbs on September 7, 2010
Well, there is a matter that I wouldn’t mind getting some advice on. I’ve been planing for a while now to buy a house some time in the next year, as I’ve managed to save up enough for a smallish down-payment. However, I’ve also recently discovered a love of traveling, especially if there is a chance of seeing some comedy added to the mix. I’m hoping to spend a few months in NZ and Australia early next year, ending with the MICF, as well as getting back to the Fringe for much longer than I did this year, and going to Just For Laughs in Montreal (although this is the easiest of the three, as it only involves a two-hour plane ride and staying with one of my brothers).
The problem is that in order to get a mortgage, I should really switch back from a casual to a permanent position at work, which would put a bit of a damper on my idea of traipsing about the globe. But it also might be a good idea to hold off on buying the house for a little while, to give me time to make a bit more money (my mother has suggested that I get an RRSP, and I’m not sure how long they take to be of any use) and get used to the idea of spending so much of it at once.
Basically, I would welcome any thoughts on the matter.
Posted by Hannah Mae on September 7, 2010
I second all the uni advice. The internet analogy is spot on: there’s something for everyone, so please don’t feel like you have to succumb to the drunken-clubbing-while-dressed-as-a-superhero scene if it’s not for you. Everyone bangs on about societies but they’re so worth exploring, because if you join one based around an interest, you’ve immediately got something in common with all the other members – and something to talk about, because chatting with strangers is undeniably awkward. Also, don’t expect too much out of freshers week or decide the whole year is headed for disaster if you find yourself feeling lonely or out of place over those first days. Everyone does, which is why it’s especially difficult for non-drinkers or less gregarious people – most the people who get pissed and go mental during fresher’s week will calm right down over the rest of the year, it’s just an easy way to let off steam and push inhibitions aside. It’s like a bonding experience too – once you’ve held someone’s hair while they’re vomiting in the street, you’ll feel like you’ve known them a lifetime! Seriously though, don’t assume that everyone is enjoying the constant partying except you – loads of people do it under duress in attempts to meet people and look fun and sociable. My best advice is just to put yourself out there and take every opportunity thrown at you, if it appeals. Uni can be quite lonely and alienating if you just sit in your room all day – as a 6-hour-a-week arts student, I know this all too well – but there’s so much stuff out there waiting for you if you bother to go and find it. Have fun! It’s been the best experience of my life, because for the first time everything is on your terms. You basically get to start over, which is nice sometimes. Plus as others have said, so much stuff is completely acceptable that isn’t in the Real World – it’s completely legitimate, for example, to just strike up conversation with someone in a pub or the library etc because everyone’s a student. If you do that on the tube, people assume you’re mad.
I have questions.
1.) Have you read Saul Bellow’s ‘The Adventures of Augie March’? If so, is it good/bearable? I have to read it for a unit in American literature. Been putting it off for weeks because it looks vast/a bit dull.
2) Who’d be your 5 guests at a fantasy dinner party?
Many congratulations on the running without dying!
Posted by Juliet on September 7, 2010
Yes, me, I have a bit of a problem. It’s September, and by October I need to make a decision: I need to figure out what am I going to study after high school (and where, but that comes afterwards).
The thing is I’ve always thought I liked science (like biology or chemistry) but I’m getting tired of it and it really doesn’t seem fun anymore. I started thinking about studying Literature, since I love reading and writing, but I’m not quite sure yet. The thing about Literature is that it might be a little harder to get a job if I study that (at least where I live, in Argentina). What I know for a fact is that I want to be a teacher, but I don’t know what kind of things I wanna teach.
It’d be lovely if you could help me, Mark, I’m in a complicated situation here. Thanks xx
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on September 7, 2010
I don;t have a question but liking the feedback for shy freshers. A year late for me.
I’d just say: try not to shy away too much and don’t just stick to one person who will only be there for a term. I made both those mistakes and led a pretty lonely year.
I went to a uni which is very popular for clubbing (I didn’t realise this until I was there) and all the hall activities were going to town clubbing and that’s mostly what happened after freshers week too.
My union did have a lot of non-clubbing nights, so do check them out and try and go even on your own. But do know it’s easier said then done.
Have a good flight!
Posted by Alexander on September 7, 2010
I’ve got this nail that sticks out of my bed. About once a week I cut my leg getting out of my bed. It’s not too bad, I bleed a little but it does wake me up in the morning. My bed’s against the wall so I can’t use the other side for disembarking. The main bit of the nail is actually inside the frame, so it would be a bit of a hassle to remove it, and I’d need to find some tools. I’ve tried stuff like covering it with blu-tack, but then a situation arises in which I need blu-tack and it ends up bare again. So, is it worth removing the nail, or should I just leave it there?
Posted by h2osarah on September 6, 2010
I have just gotten back to Kingston after a weekend at home and found that all 7 of my new housemates are female. Gah! While this may be good for cleanliness or needing to borrow shampoo, I don’t deal well with girly girls. Most girls have way too much drama for me to deal with. I’d really like not to spend my remaining time at university hiding from them, so any advice on how to cope? My strategy now is to hope beyond hope that they’re all tomboys.
Posted by Hannahq on September 6, 2010
Hmmm, I don’t think I actually have a question…although I’m sure there should be something I need help with. Anyway, I just booked tickets for your Brighton show! Which is very exciting for me
Posted by Natalie-Helen on September 6, 2010
Misha and Kathryn and any others starting Uni.
For me first year sucked. To the point where I thought I’m going to be on anti-depressants. But that is not the experience of most I know. In my final year (just gone) I actually was able to speak to my tutor who is a wonderful man and a brilliant historian. I found it difficult probably for a similar reason to why you guys are worried. I’m kind of shy and I find it difficult to make real relationships as quick as you have to with uni. Whilst other people were bff’s after 24 hours I just couldn’t give that mush so soon. I also struggled because I don’t see much joy in getting wasted whilst dressed like a slut. So I didn’t. This pretty much meant that I barely went out with people in the evening. My musical and general intests seemed to be so removed from the people around me. Second year and third year have been so much better and genuinely brilliant. I’ve found people with more similar interests and attitudes (like the drinking thing). My tutor told me, when we actually had a chat, that there are actually alot of people who feel the same way as I did. But they either get pushed into the corners or they pretend to be something they’re not. Look for people on your course as they should already have a similar interest. There are shitloads of societies, join things you are actually interested in. Its hard to go to the first meeting knowing no one but again there should be a guarenteed similarity. Be yourself and if people don’t accept you for that they can fuck off. Clearly not worth it. My tutor told me that the people who just pretend to be into it are the ones who are more likely to crash and burn. Finally try to get a relationship with a tutor or similar. I really wish I had this because it made everything so much better once I had spoken to him. In first year I felt awkward with my assigned tutor so I never asked him for help etc. It doesn’t have to be the person you’ve been given but someone who you feel comfortable with.
Wow, sorry for the stream of consciousness essay length.
Carl
If it is the salty savouryness of crisps your addicted to, try mixing a crushed Oxo cube with boild water. I find the super savoury part stops me from wanting crisps too much. ^_^
Elin
Could you write about the artist who gradually painted the side of an old building red? He made video of it as it was painted, unfortunately I can’t remember who the artist was or what it was called. I think the building might have been in Mexico. Sorry for the lack of info.
Bare long.
Sorry
^_^
x
Posted by Kate W on September 6, 2010
Hoping comments on these question aren’t out of place; if they are, ignore me. Lalalalalalal……
@Kathryn and @Misha – being a fresher’s actually the easiest time ever to meet people, because everyone’s in the same position. No-one knows anyone, everyone’s terrified they won’t make friends, so people are very willing indeed to cut each other some slack and talk to anyone even vaguely friendly.
You also have the perfect conversational opening with every single person there; “What’s your name/where are you from/what subject are you doing?” in a context where those are all good and reasonable questions. In the whole first year of a university, there’s bound to be at least one person you like/have something in common with. Misha – not everyone will want to go clubbing dressed as Playboy bunnies. Start a movement to do something a bit calmer and there will be other people in the mood for that.
It will honestly be OK and if the first day’s tough, there are lots of other chances. You’ll meet people in your halls, people doing your subject, people eating lunch near you, people browsing the same book shop…. The brilliant thing about university is it’s a bit like the internet – whatever you like/are like, you’ll find someone who likes/is the same. I met a couple of people during freshers week I never wanted to speak to again, but I also met some who’re still my best friends more than 15 years later (god I’m old).
Posted by Ally on September 6, 2010
I can’t think of anything I need help with. This makes me happy
The only thing I could possibly ask is: Can someone help me finish my ridiculous number of assignments? But with some serious time management I should be able to get them done on my own, plus they generally prefer it if you do all the work yourself! 
Posted by soo on September 6, 2010
How do I become confident and comfortable with my body?
Just started a major healthy eating and exercise regime, but am a naturally curvy girl (never been under a size 14, currently closer to 18 and hate myself for it) and work with stick thin girls. Do you boy type people really prefer the skinnies?
Loving the book by the way. And sorry for lumping you in with all boy type people…
Posted by Ben on September 6, 2010
Do you see being funny as being something you can work on or just a natural gift?
Just wondering.
Posted by ChrisJ on September 6, 2010
I’m currently feeling short of inspiration with regard to my job – I’m a trainee accountant, just coming up to the end of my first year and just feel like my life and dreams are disappearing away from me, leaving me a bit cynical and generally fed up in life – I used to have all these big ideas and now… I don’t know…
Any advice?
On more light heated note, what was your favourite pub during your time in Cambridge?
P.S. really looking forward to your visit to Cambridge later this year!
Posted by A disgruntled flatmate. on September 6, 2010
What would your suggestions be on the subject of rather untidy flatmates/course mates? Actually. If I could rephrase that: Disgustingly dirty, minging flatmates. How would you broach the subject with them, without endangering your friendship/professional relationship?
As a slight background to this, I feel I should explain that this is an ongoing issue, which I have attempted to address on numerous occasions. However, things generally improve for a couple of days, and then old habits resurface. On one occasion, the response was “Yeah, I see where you’re coming from, but I don’t respect this place, so…”
Any advice would be greatly received from anyone else who may have had to deal with this subject themselves in the past.
Posted by Someone on September 6, 2010
I cannae wait for your new book. I just love your stories and they make me actually want to read.
In fact I might re-read your first two ’till you stop slacking with the next :] (I’m obvvvviously being funny there, don’t kill yourself, but do hurry, because I’m bored. Chars.)
Posted by Ivan (@ivanbrett) on September 6, 2010
No questions, but looking forward to the Can I Help You blog!! Hurrah for helping!
Posted by Misha on September 6, 2010
Since i’m asking everyone this: Any advice for a shy fresher? There’s not a chance in hell of me just gritting my teeth and going to a club/fancy dress night out/similar. The last time I tried I ended up hiding in the loos rocking.
Or in short, how does one make friends without getting wankered and accidentally sleeping with them etc.
Posted by Steph on September 6, 2010
Dear Mark,
Why did you make your book so large that it doesn’t fit on my book shelf vertically? It is a very unusual size…
[Still loving it though]
Posted by Laurs on September 6, 2010
I have a question/problem that I’d really like help with.
I’m pretty much a walkover, you want something doing, I’ll do it, regardless of how much else I have to do. I feel guilty when I can’t meet an unrealistic deadline I’ve set for myself. People do take advantage of me and have done for several years now. I want that to stop. How on earth do I even begin to start saying no and not feeling as though I am the lowest of the low for it?
Thank you. x
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on September 6, 2010
@Carl – its pretty hard to quit eating crisps, so if you want to keep on eating them, you can make them yourself -
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Homemade-Baked-Potato-Crisps
Or if you’re out and about and you get a craving, I find it’s better to buy something in the shop (pretending its a bag of crisps) maybe a bottle of water… and drink that – it keeps your hands and mind busy, while also consuming something healthy!
Posted by elin on September 6, 2010
Oooh, I want help! I have posted this once before, but I’ll repeat myself… I’m not fond of writing, and I have to write a master thesis this year. Problem is I study fine arts. I’m a painter. I paint realistic pictures of ugly, low status buildings. It looks right now as if my project will consist of largeish paintings of 1970s brick apartment blocks, or about a beautifully worn 1946 industrial estate. Or something else. It will be straight, flat façades, I know that much. And thesis can be about absolutely anything, as long as it’s got some vague connection to my work. It could be very factual or a piece of fiction or something in between. Basically, it’s so free that I just don’t know where to begin… and I would love some advice… anything at all…
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on September 6, 2010
Question!
How did you come up with the idea for “A light hearted look at murder”?
How did you even think of the whole plot and story??
It’s such an amazing thing to complete a book, but even more so, to complete a book which I have recommended to all of my friends.
Posted by Carl on September 6, 2010
Hi Mark,
I think I may be addicted to crisps (sounds like a joke, but it’s not!) How would one cut down on eating them?
Posted by Kathryn on September 6, 2010
Part 1: Problem
I’m starting university in four weeks. How do I talk to people without seeming like I’m completely strange/mentally unhinged? I know one person in my college, and it’s currently very awkward as we don’t know each other that well, and I’m generally rubbish at talking to new people.
Part 2: a new book? Oooooh…
I finished Eleven over the weekend. It took me about five hours because I couldn’t put it down. There aren’t words for how good it was.
Posted by Kate B on September 6, 2010
Yay! I love Can I Help You. I don’t have any questions/problems though