The Very Late Review 6
Thanks for all the festive Comments yesterday as we saw in the six-month mark. We begin the second six months with the return of a popular feature, the Very Late Review. Once more, it has been guest-edited by the excellent Megan McLeod, and I am deploying it because I think there’s a good chance I might fail to blog on time tonight, and imagine what a comedown that would be, after our landmark.
If you’ve not read the Very Late Review before, readers of this blog are asked to review a mixture of films, books, albums, people, experiences and anything else I feel I ought to have tried, but haven’t. Or sometimes they’re things I HAVE tried but want to poll opinion on. This time, Megan herself chose the categories. But I’m nominating the new ones.
To get involved with the Very Late Review 7, check the new categories at the end of the blog, and leave your reviews as Comments. You can review any or all. You should leave a mark out of ten at the end of your remarks, trying to avoid scores like 4,670 million out of ten, however much you love
Over to Megan.
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Hi all. Here’s another edition of the Very Late Review, which will hopefully prevent some coronaries in the midnight hour tonight. Fewer selections this time, all of which, I must admit, I have some fondness for.
JAFFA CAKES
A rather popular choice, aside from a couple of people with serious orange/citrus hate. Many suggestions on how to properly eat a Jaffa for maximum awesomeness. Ivan even had a mind-blowing ‘recipe’ involving layering and ‘squirty cream’. (Presumably whipped cream out of a can? It’s called ‘psh-psh’ in my family.) I caused some controversy by calling these biscuits, as Customs ultimately ruled that they were cakes (I did see the QI episode during which they explained this); however, as they come in tubes like HobNobs do, I say they are definitely in the biscuit family, if only a cousin. Several people noted that these are addictive (true – Kathryn deducted .3 points off a perfect score because of the guilty feeling one gets after eating six at a time) or that they are a good sub for vegetables and/or supper (sadly, probably not true, sorry).
Memorable quotes: ‘I can still remember an advertising thing they used to have. It was a small note on the back, informing you that you could contact Jaffaholics …We tried it once. It was quite surreal. If anyone wants to try calling it to see if the number is still active, please inform me of the results.’ (Seamus); ‘These would be perfect without the orange bit. You bite into one and you’re enjoying the generic chocolate biscuit kind of taste, then the wave of orange slams you in the taste buds so hard that you forget that you once enjoyed eating it. ‘ (Tom Beasley); ‘I’m afraid to say I’d swap my entire family for just a lick of the orange disc inside’ (Carl); I have a special way of eating them compared to everyone else: I take a bite, chew, then swallow. I repeat this until the whole of the cake has been devoured. (David Calder – who also notes that Serbians love them. Poles do too, BTW.); ‘They should be the size of the original Wagon Wheels (from the 70s, not the teeny ones you get now).’ (glamlovinkitty)
Score: 8/10
Diving score: 8/10
Full marks: 10 out of 26
Nul points: 0 out of 26
JORVIK VIKING CENTRE
Unfortunately, not very many of y’all have experienced the joys and horrors of the Jorvik Viking Centre (ie the ‘sights, sounds, and smells of Viking York’). A couple of people were terrified by the experience as children (or, at least, by mice and demanding demonstrators), others associated it with fond memories of school trips/crushes, but very few people actually mentioned any kind of educational benefit and/or indicated that they didn’t remember much about it.
Memorable quotes: ‘When the ride is over there’s a mini-museum with people doing demonstrations and more American tourists shaking their heads in disbelief at mundane facts. You can write your name in runes and things like that and then you can spend ages in the shop buying things you don’t need but that are lots of fun.’ (amycool); ‘I was 13 or 14 and on the bus down to York spotted a boy from my school I’d never seen before and remained obsessed with him for about three years…I spent most of the time in York, and in the viking centre, engineering opportunities to take photos of him.’ (glamlovinkitty); ‘They made me dress up in costume just because I was small enough to fit it which I absolutely hated and really did not want to do.’ (Emily); ‘It smells like the stairwell in a multi-storey car park on a Sunday morning. This is, apparently, intentional.’ (Jon); ‘If I lived in York I would be off to the Jorvik Viking Centre on my bike whenever I had a spare moment.’ (Rhian)
Score: 7/10
Diving score: 6/10
Full marks: 0 out of 8
Nul points 0 out of 8
CORONATION STREET
(Full disclosure: I am finishing up the writing of this during the Coronation Street omnibus on a Sunday morning. I don’t know who half of these characters are anymore as I haven’t watched regularly in more than six years.) Generally, people who likes soaps like this less than Eastenders, find the theme song a bit annoying, and/or are reminded of their grandmothers by the show (I fall into that latter category – I only remember my paternal grandmother ever watching Corrie and Hockey Night in Canada). Sets are cheesy, the stories are far-fetched/hilarious (I agree with Tom Beasley that Norris is one of the great comic/soap characters ever), and yeah, this wasn’t a terribly popular choice.
Memorable quotes: ‘I’m a southerner and daren’t cross the divide even by T.V.’ (Katie D.); ‘If I genuinely wanted to watch people living such wretched lives I’d go to the Jorvik Viking Centre, which may smell, but at least I wouldn’t have to endure the dismal theme tune.’ (Jon); ‘As someone who generally holds 90% of pop culture in contempt, I ought to dislike Coronation Street. It is however, a guilty pleasure of mine, and my inability to leave something I’ve started, however bad it is, means I’ll be watching until this monstrous first season finally draws to a close.’ (JontyLarr)
Score: 4.5/10
Diving score: 4.5/10
Full marks: 1 out of 16
Nul points: 1 out of 16
BICYCLING
Those who like it? Like it quite a lot. Those who don’t cited discomfort, environmental conditions, traffic congestion, and cyclists themselves for their lack of enthusiasm for this mode of transportation. Many people waxed nostalgic about biking years ago and expressed a desire to do it again. David Calder and Chris P’s comments are too lengthy to quote in full (although I’d like to), but excellent (though I disagree with Mr Calder on helmets, as one saved my friend’s life last year when she got doored). Other people reported injuries (including lacerated ankles (!!)) and that bike commuting makes them too sweaty. (Full disclosure: I mostly commute by bike from March through December. In Canada. But I have my own office at the cinema, so if I’m a bit smelly, I’m only offending myself.)
Memorable quotes: ‘Don’t do this very often due to being hugely unfit and living in Scotland where even towns are hilly (well anywhere I’ve lived has been anyway).’ (Amy); ‘I tend to walk everywhere, but don’t shout about it, the way that cyclists do. Think you’ll find *I’M* the environmentally friendly one Cycly McCycle.’ (JontyLarr); ‘I’m all for it in principle, it just shouldn’t be attempted in inclement weather, or up hills. Or with cars / trucks on the same road. Therefore impractical for the lardy-arsed & exercise-shy’ (K.); ‘The only faults with bicycles are CARS. Cars, and angry drivers. Bikes are brilliant – easy to use, cheap to maintain, good for the environment AND for your health.’ (Aislinn); ‘Get a well built bike that suits your needs, good comfortable clothing and necessary protection, look after it, and it will look after you.’ (ChrisP); ‘Cycling probably got me through my interview at the University of Birmingham where my interviewer and I just compared how much we bought all of our bike accessories for!’ (Steph – I also included this one (in part) because I went to U of B too.)
Score: 45460/10
Diving score: 6/10
Full marks: 1 out of 22
Nul points: 1 out of 22
Well, that was fun (again) and a good way to spend time while avoiding a 12+km run due to an hours-long thunderstorm. Thank you again to Mark for letting me babble on and to all of you for participating/being very funny and helpful!
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And up for review next time:
ANT AND DEC (people)
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE (book, film, or both)
SALAMI (food; for vegetarians, HOUMOUS)
POTHOLING/CAVING (activity)
THE iPAD (device)
INDIA (country)
THE SKY (large area; this is for people who aren’t in a position to comment on any of the others)
Off you go, and see you next time on… The Very Late Review!!
(Credits roll; Mark and Megan shuffle papers and pretend to chat, the way presenters do at the end)
Posted by Josh on September 9, 2010
Seeing as I missed the last one completely and forgot to do this one until now I’m going to do it really well just to make up for it.
ANT AND DEC 4ish/10
I feel like I cannot give Ant and Dec any lower than 4ish, even though I find watching them about as enjoyable as being peeled. They are the equivalent of Methadone; I don’t use it myself and I find it highly distasteful and yet it provides a lot of comfort to the less fortunate.
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE (book) 7/10
This really is one of my guiltiest pleasures. It’s not really a book heterosexual (yes, really) males can admit to liking. And yet… It’s just so well done. Granted there’s far too much “OOH HENRY YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME OUR LOVE WILL TRANSCEND ALL OBSTACLES” and far too little playing of “Capitalist Mind-Fuck” but I forgive it for just being such a solid piece of plot. I hear the film was awful though.
HOUMOUS [sic] 8/10 (I’m not a vegetarian, just not a salami fan)
It’s really nice. The ideal humus (or houmous) is heavy on the Tahini and contains observable amounts of nutmeg. The Waitrose Red Pepper one is pretty darn good actually, give it a go. I Like Humus.
INDIA ?+/10
I’ve never been there. I’d love to though, it’s on my list, very high up and all. I don’t know what it’s like, you never can know anything about a place before you go there, not really, but I’m pretty sure I’d love it. Therefore I give it ?+.
THE SKY 549.99/10
Fantastic thing. Not only is it often the most beauteous thing one can ever see but, if stared at correctly, provides the potential for limitless endeavour and infinite flight. And then at night it changes colour and we have to look at the whole amazing thing again. Stars, limitless, terrifying perspective and yet still comforting familiarity. I gave it 550/10 but had to knock 0.001 off because I cannot take flight and therefore cannot truly experience it. Damn solid bones and thin arms. YOU TOO LUNGS, god I hate human lungs.
Posted by Tibbs on September 2, 2010
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE (book)
This book had a wonderful premise and I was very impressed with it stylistically, but good god I have never felt less sympathy for the basically every major character in a book. Pretty much the only character I didn’t want dead by the end was one who was only around for a few chapters!
1/10
HOUMOUS
Assuming this is the same as humus, usually very good. It’s one of the vegetarian alternatives for the meat portion of brunch at my favourite diner, and makes a really good dip for home fries. Also good in sandwiches. 8/10
THE SKY
I absolutely LOVE the sky. I love every aspect of the sky; clear blue with puffy white clouds and bright sunlight, overcast days when the sky feels like a cosy blanket, rumbling thunderclouds pierced by streaks of lightning, clear night skies full of stars, night skies where the clouds are such a dark purple-black you’d almost think they were space except for a lack of stars, that wonderful effect where sunlight streams through the clouds and makes me feel like I’m breathing in pure light… Then on top of just how amazing it is just to look at the sky, there’s also the wonder of stellar exploration; as Carl Sagan said “the sky calls to us”. Things that humans have made are on or passing by other planets. There are people living in space *right now*. How frikking amazing is that?! Every time you look up at the sky, there exists a remote possibility that a being with completely different genetics, evolutionary history, thought process, completely different EVERYTHING, is looking back at you, across the vast oceans of space. A very, exceedingly, astonishingly remote possibility, but still. How incredibly awesome is that? How can anyone not love the sky???
∞/10 (in case that symbol doesn’t come out, it is infinity out of ten)
Posted by amycool on August 24, 2010
the
should be “I was about 8″ in brackets. I bet you’d already worked that out.
Posted by amycool on August 24, 2010
ANT AND DEC (people) – I liked them in Byker Grove and quite enjoyed their Saturday morning kids show. I occasionally catch a glimpse of them on more modern things but they tend to present TV shows I avoid. They seem like nice chaps so I give them 8/10
SALAMI (food; for vegetarians, HOUMOUS) – As a vegetarian, I am often offered houmous, but it’s my least favourite smell in the world. Unfortunately for me, my boyfriend loves the stuff and often walks into a room eating it, which makes me gag and have to leave the room. I suppose having never actually tasted the stuff my vote shouldn’t count, but I do have to live beside it occasionally and I hate it. 1/10 (1 point because it makes my boyfriend happy)
POTHOLING/CAVING (activity) – I had to do this with school in year 6 on a residential trip. The first part was bog standard climbing and abseiling, which was lots of fun, but then they made us climb through tiny gaps in rocks and it was fucking terrifying. I’m not particularly claustrophobic but as a normal human being, the thought of being trapped in a hole barely large enough to accommodate my then tiny body is not a pleasant one. The massive safety helmets didn’t help and I got lots of bruises and scratches. I can see the appeal but it’s certainly not for me. 2/10
THE SKY (large area; this is for people who aren’t in a position to comment on any of the others) – Thankfully, after 2 very low scores, which is unusual for me, I can give this one a high score. I spent a lot of my childhood looking at the sky. Some of my favourite memories of the sky are during the solar eclipse in 1999 (even though where I lived it was only partial the light went very eerie), looking at the moon through my £20 telescope for the first time, watching the sun set from atop a small mountain wearing an inappropriate thin cagoule so I was shivering like crazy (I was about
and taking part in a stargazing night at primary school where I wrote a bad poem. In more recent times, I’ve seen a solitary plane doing loop the loops against a huge blanket of vivid blue in Lincolnshire and an eagle soaring through the sky just down the road at a farm. The sky is lovely. 10/10
Posted by Kate B on August 21, 2010
THE TIME TRAVELLERS WIFE- I haven’t got round to reading the book but I did see the film a few months ago. I remember at the time thinking it was quite good but it hasn’t really stuck in my head. Although I won’t hold this against it because not a lot sticks in my head due to my incredibly bad memory. What I can remember of it- 6/10
HOUMOUS- Bleuh! I have spent half of my childhood been forced to eat this stuff by my dad who buys huge quantities of it and then deccides he can’t eat it all by the sell by date. I think I generally prefer food that isn’t lumpy and is less funny smelling. 2/10
THE SKY- Well, it’s pretty great isn’t it? 10/10
Posted by SamJJ on August 20, 2010
Oh dear, that wasn’t supposed to happen.
Posted by SamJJ on August 20, 2010
Please excuse random capitals. I am writing this on my phone as internet is off at home so I copy and pasted the subjects from Mark’s blog…
I find ANT AND DEC really banal, I don’t get their appeal at all. For me Bill Nighy’s line in ‘love actually’ (Thank you Ant and or Dec) sums it up perfectly, they are interchangeable and nothing individually.
TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE; I loved the book and the film. Although the story was different I think it did the book justice. Spent most of the film in tears, although I was pregnant so hormones may have been involved.
I’m not a big fan of SALAMI, I prefer chorizo but have only been eating meat again for about a year after 16 years of veggieness. HOUMOUS rocks! I spent a year as a student having houmous for dinner pretty much every night and I still love it.
I’m an outdoors type, I love climbing and hill walking. I haven’t done POTHOLING/CAVING. It strikes me that you have all the effort of walking up a mountain but none of the view.
THE iPAD, I’m a Tad behind, don’t even have an iPhone… Yet.
Would really love to go to INDIA but I haven’t been so can’t really comment. The nearest I have been is Sri Lanka which was fabulous but doesn’t answer your question so I’ll shut up.
I like THE SKY.
Please excuse random capitals. I am writing this on my phone as internet is off at home so I copy and pasted the subjects from Mark’s blog…
I find ANT AND DEC really banal, I don’t get their appeal at all. For me Bill Nighy’s line in ‘love actually’ (Thank you Ant and or Dec) sums it up perfectly, they are interchangeable and nothing individually. I once said hello to them on Wardour street recognising them but unable to place them I thought they must have gone to my school. 2/10
TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE; I loved the book and the film. Although the story was different I think it did the book justice. Spent most of the film in tears, although I was pregnant so hormones may have been involved. Book 9/10 film 8/10
I’m not a big fan of SALAMI, I prefer chorizo but have only been eating meat again for about a year after 16 years of veggieness. HOUMOUS rocks! I spent a year as a student having houmous for dinner pretty much every night and I still love it. Salami 3/10 houmous 10/10
I’m an outdoors type, I love climbing and hill walking. I haven’t done POTHOLING/CAVING. It strikes me that you have to put in the same effort as walking up a mountain but don’t get the view. 0/10
THE iPAD, I’m a Tad behind, don’t even have an iPhone… Yet.
Would really love to go to INDIA but I haven’t been so can’t really comment. The nearest I have been is Sri Lanka which was fabulous but doesn’t answer your question so I’ll shut up.
I like THE SKY. 10/10
Posted by JontyLarr on August 19, 2010
The sky is absolutely fantastic. A couple of my relationships have largely involved gazing together at sunrises, sunsets, clouds and stars. Of course those relationships didn’t last, so maybe girls aren’t as impressed by it. 10/10
Posted by Katy on August 19, 2010
I also meant to say @Rachael that I love the fact that your rabbits are called PJ and Duncan!
Posted by Katy on August 19, 2010
I think the only one I can give a qualified opinion on is Ant and Dec. I love them, always have done. And I’ve met them! Back when they were PJ & Duncan, but I have photos and autographs and they were just so lovely. As my mother said at the time “what canny bairns”. I nearly died of embarrassment but they were great. I also still know the dance to Lets Get Ready to Rumble.
I much preferred them back in Byker Grove but I think they still work really well and I like the fact that they still have their Northern accents. Not like some people (Sting and Robson Green, I’m looking at you) because thats one thing that REALLY annoys me.
Anyway I digress, Go Ant and Dec and have 9/10!
Posted by Rachael on August 19, 2010
@Laura B: It was PJ that was blinded by the paintball. Just in case not knowing was keeping you up at night…
Posted by helen (@iamanicelady) on August 19, 2010
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE – I watched the film just this weekend, although I was really quite hungover so probably not appreciative of any of its merits. Not recommended as hangover viewing (I also watched precious with a hangover and it made me want to die). I haven’t read the book, but when I worked a WHSmith I made a lovely display of them, so the only thing I can say about the book is that it’s very stackable. film 5/10, book 6/10
SALAMI/HOUMOUS – Houmous beats salami every time, and I’m not even a veggie. Salami unnerves me where is houmous is lovely and you can dunk things in it. Salami 2/10, Houmous 8/10
POTHOLING/CAVING – A hideous and terrifying pastime. I can’t think of anything more unpleasant than deliberately clambering through very narrow, dark, cold and wet spaces underground. I’m not a badger. 1/10
THE iPAD – Very happy to play on them for free in the Apple store, or receive on as a gift, but it’s otherwise a very expensive toy that although is more beautiful than my laptop is infinitely less practical. 10/10 if someone were to buy me one as a present, 2/10 if i had to buy one for myself.
THE SKY – I like this. The meteor shower last week was lovely and I’ve been in a hot air balloon so have been pretty darn close to it. And it regularly never falls on me when I leave the house. 10/10
Posted by Laura-B on August 19, 2010
I wish I still had my PJ and Duncan albums.
“Watch us wreck the mic, psych”
Ah, good times.
Posted by Rozzie on August 19, 2010
The Time Traveller’s wife – I haven’t seen the film but nor do I particularly want to. This is simply because the book is quite possibly my favourite book I have ever read. It is cleverly written and the jumps in time are written in such a perfect way in which it doesn’t feel confusing. The relationship between the two main characters Clare and Henry is beautifully written and I felt like I was being taken on a journey with them both. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and is definitely a recommended read. 10/10
Posted by Laura-B on August 19, 2010
ANT AND DEC
I don’t think it’s cool to like them anymore, but I still do. They seem to be what my mum would call “nice boys”. However, it is partly their fault that I will never go paintballing, because I was so traumatised by one of them (PJ? Duncan?) loosing his sight in that terrifying Byker Grove episode, so I’m deducting them a point.
9/10
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE
My absolute favourite book, that I can not read without crying. I’ve read it so many times that I can probably quote a lot of it, but it’s just brilliant. The film was, of course, disappointing. They did an ok job, and I loved Rachel McAdams, and still cried at the end (I’m spotting a theme here…) but it just wasn’t the book.
Book – 10/10
Film – 6/10
SALAMI
Salami to me means those god-awful processed thin slimy slices. When I lived at home and my dad made our packed lunches, every day I would cross my fingers as I opened my lunch box that the salami-smell didn’t waft up at me. I’d much rather have a houmous sandwich any day!
1/10
THE SKY
10/10 for providing me with endless hours of entertainment. I can watch the sky quite happily for ages. Even when it’s full of rain clouds.
Posted by Madeleine on August 19, 2010
The only one of these I’m really qualified to comment on is houmous – but boy am I qualified to comment on houmous. I love it, I was going to have some on falafel for dinner tonight but I ran out of time and just had toast. I’ve tried most of the brands in supermarkets, and even had a crack at making my own.
I like the ones that are a bit liquidy-er, they tend to be less full on with tahini (seasame seed) flavour than the really thick ones, but some people like that.
Some people think it’s a bit pedestrian to have at dinner parties and stuff, but put it in a nice dish with some corriander on top and olive oil and fancy little toasted breads or biscuits and it is the best thing ever.
I’m probably living up to every vegan stereotype here, but houmous is just a freaking great dip/sauce/cool drink (not the last one?).
Chickpeas are also really healthy!
9/10 (I took a point off for those too strong supermarket ones. Ruining it for everyone)
Posted by Misha on August 19, 2010
I hope my relatively tardy blog comment can be excused with the age old excuse of “travel. Ahem.
Ant and Dec
I used to like them, I was a big fan of SMTV Live as a smaller person, and Ant, Dec and Cat were all happy smiley fun. Now that they do grown ups TV I want to smash their heads together.
5/10 for the nostalgia value.
Houmous
Has the appearance and texture of wet cardboard, but tastes considerably nicer. (don’t ask).
7/10
The Sky
Pleasant, sometimes blue, often pissing on us. Mostly quite good, particularly nice at night, because my bed is by the window and I have no curtains. We are made of it. Isn’t that awesome?
10/10
That’s it. I’m off to eat ibuprofen for my spine.
Posted by Lydia on August 19, 2010
Ant & Dec – I think that they are okay if you’re not watching them too long. I’ve never managed much more than ten minutes of Saturday Night Takeaway. The bit where they compete with each other is kind of funny though, ’cause they get way too into it. 4/10
The Time Travelers Wife – I read the book then saw the film and I wasn’t particularly impressed with either. That said I did make my way through the whole book without getting too bored, so I guess it isn’t terrible. I think the film missed out on a lot of the emotion that’s in the book, and I thought the book managed to be a lot darker than the film. 7/10
Houmous – Good with potatoes 9/10
The Sky – Incredible. I love that I can see The Plough from my garden in Devon and standing on a hill in the Yorkshire Dales. It’s pretty mind blowing. 10/10.
Ipad – Never touched one or used one but I hate them because I love actual physical books. The world would be a terrible place without book smell. 0/10
Posted by Daniel on August 19, 2010
Ant and Dec – I’ve really fallen out of love wioth these two. Byker Grove – good, Pop Idol – well done. SMTV – not bad. But now…Their constant tirade of woeful recycled 70s jokes and their lack of original ideas or programmes, plus their role in perpetuating the presence of the Z list celebrity through all of their shows, coupled with their phone-vote rip-off and awkward ” follow autocue and walk to stage right ” forced presenting of Britain’s Got Talent means that they wind me up. I just don’t think they try anymore.
2/10
The Time Traveller’s Wife – loved the book, clever and involving with much more emotional clout than the film, which was always on to a loser because of the complex narrative of the text.
Book – 8/10
Film – 6/10
The Sky – overrated. I prefer the sea.
7/10
Posted by EmT on August 19, 2010
POTHOLING/CAVING
I went black water rafting in NZ which I suppose is a type of caving. You get doled up in a beautiful wetsuit/blue shorts/hard hat ensemble and grab the inside of a tyre and head into the caves in Waitomo. The fun involves a series of abseiling, jumping down waterfalls, drifting along the streams in the pitch black admiring the amazing glow worms and a little bit of climbing. One of my favourite moments was being told by our guides that the water in a particular bit of the cave is shallow enough to stand in so we could all get off our tubes… only for 10 gullible fools to disappear under the water as none of us were over the 10ft mark height wise.
Check it out here…
http://www.waitomo.com/black-water-rafting.aspx
Anyway it gets a score of 9/10 from me. (Loses a point as I am slightly claustrophobic. I had a morbid thought much of the way through that the rock surrounding us, even though it had been there for quite a considerable amount of time without mishap, would come crashing down on our heads)
Posted by Lauren on August 19, 2010
Time Traveller’s Wife:
I really liked the book, but sometimes found myself getting confused in the middle of a scene and having to go back and check the dates.
I liked that the movie wasn’t as heartbreaking as the book, but I think they left too much out.
The sky:
Should be commended for it’s colour choice and dedication to the job.
Posted by lex on August 19, 2010
If I tried all of them I’d be here all day (and so would you, nice reading stranger). So,
POTHOLING/CAVING (activity)
Potholing: I’m not completely sure of what this is. I guess it’s something to do with going underground perpendicularly via a well-like tunnel. Or perhaps it’s some big city sewer activity that I don’t know about. Urban caving.
But my imagined understanding of the words reminded me of a MacGyver episode I saw when I was small where a girl was stuck down a well and there were tractors and earth diggers and MacGyver, sentinel of ingenuity, brandishing a toothpick and some play-doh and the girl being exhumed from the well and the big bald bossman arriving in a ute and everything turning congratulatory.
Caving: I went caving once, on school camp in Canterbury (NZ) when I was thirteen. We did two types of caves: dry and wet. Both involve special types of submerged panic. I know the secret is to hold it together when you’re wedging yourself horizontally through a tiny gap, between immense quantities of dense rock. But if you stop concentrating on staying calm, the panic creeps and you have to breathe it away. Bloody scary, but like with many things, mind over matter seems to be the key. The river caves are scary too, but there are beautiful vaults that open up filled with glowy bugs and dark twinkles of light reflecting. Getting up some of the tunnels becomes very difficult when you are walking slash climbing against the flow of the river. Seems as though it would be all too easy to lose your step or become unable to step and be whooshed back the way you came.
And so, to sum up, I’d rather get wet than force myself senselessly into the side of a hill.
Potholing
?: 0/10
As urban caving: 6/10
Mac: 11/10
Caving
Dry: 1/10
Wet: 8/10
THE SKY
I eat the sky with my eyes. Yum. In summer, I sit in my spot on my favourite hill (Mt Eden, in Auckland, if you’re interested) and stare across the city with my feet dangling over the edge. The gulls swoop and caw. And sky! 180 degrees. I watch the weather come in from and move out to the sea. And take lunch and a book and some paper and pencils. And sit for ages, staring out, all bliss and hunger and void, in the sublime sun under the wide blue.
The Sky
There are not enough words, numbers or crappy lyricisms/10
Posted by heatherooo on August 19, 2010
ANT AND DEC – I have an inward battle going on with myself about these guys. My head tells me I should dislike them intensely, but my heart won’t let me. They just amuse me too much, with their stupid wee faces and their ridiculously crap banter. One thing I am very conscious of, though, is the fact that they are possibly only so good because they are together. I can’t imagine either of them being anywhere near as successful without one another, but frankly, I can’t see them wanting to work together forever. I would give them… 6/10.
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE – I’ve read the book. I enjoyed it at the time. As far as I remember… It hasn’t really stuck in my head though. And it’s not something I would choose to read again. But yes. Not too horrific. Haven’t seen the movie. Will happily continue to avoid doing so. 5/10
SALAMI or HOUMOUS – Salami is pretty vile. The smell, the texture, the way it looks… It just makes me heave. 0/10. Houmous, on the other hand, is amazing. I’m not a vegetarian, but I’d definitely give it 9/10.
THE iPAD seems to me to be the most gigantic waste of time ever. 0/10
THE SKY is super amazing to watch on a nice clear day when it’s all blue and there’s wee white wisps of cloud through it. But it’s also interesting to look out at through your windows on a dull day, when you’re all wrapped up warm and cosy. I like the sky. Can’t fault it. 10/10
Posted by Aislinn on August 18, 2010
Also I really like your jumper in that video, Mark. I’ve never seen someone rock a side-zip-up jacket so beautifully.
Posted by Aislinn on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC (people)
They are very likeable chaps, aren’t they? I mean, I haven’t met them. But they seem likeable. Even now they’re getting a bit older and their hairlines are receding they’re still very popular.
I’m going to give them bonus points on the basis I’d like them to achieve around 7 or 8 out of 10 overall and I think they’ll probably end up a lot lower down than that. So, 9/10.
THE SKY
I like the sky. There has been a book about it falling down, a poem about it being red at night and a song about it being a big blue man. 9/10
Houmous and salami both get 0/10 for the reasons Laura gave.
Posted by Ally on August 18, 2010
The Sky – I picked up an Astronomy subject at University for fun this semester so I can inform you all that the Sky is pretty much the most amazing thing ever. I mean, if you include ‘The Sky’ to be everything above Earth then we can safely say that without it we wouldn’t be here reading this blog. The Atmosphere keeps us warm, but not too warm, lets us breathe and stops all of the UV rays from burning us to a crisp. And a whole lot of other stuff. And I mean really, it’s kind of a miracle that it even does that. No one is still entirely sure how oxygen started being introduced into the atmosphere, save that it could have been the result of small, like microscopic, organisms. Maybe. But without it we wouldn’t be here. And then you consider the night sky. We can see around 3000-6000 stars every night. And around each of those, we presume, are planets and asteroids and other stuff. And there are just SO MANY OF THEM! And it’s kind of genius how everything rotates around each. The Moon rotates around Earth, the Earth rotates around the Sun, Our Solar System rotates around the center of the galaxy and apparently the galaxies are rotating as well!!! Just really, really, really slowly. And there are SO many things in the Sky that we don’t understand, but all of them prove that Earth’s atmosphere being composed as it is to allow life is literally a miracle.
I don’t think you can rate the Sky out of ten when it’s so important and exciting. It’d be like blasphemy, only not really.
Apologies for the mini-rant!
Posted by Becca on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC: Are legends! I have just about worked out which one is which, as for years if I was referring to just one of them it would be ‘Ant or Dec’. I remember them making the transition from being PJ and Duncan to Ant and Dec, that was a confusing time too. But all in all they seem to be just lovely guys, and funny to boot
10/10
THE TIME-TRAVELLERS WIFE: I’ve never read it. Should I?
SALAMI/HOMOUS: Salami, meh, 3/10. I’m not a vegetarian but I much prefer homous.
POTHOLING/CAVING: I’ve never done it, but imagine it to be a dark, cold, uncomfortable experience. If it gets a really good review on here maybe I’ll try it, but probably not.
THE iPAD: I was talking about this today. As with most of Apple’s products, I would wait until version 2 or 3 when they’ve ironed out all the glitches before I actually bought one for myself. But despite the fact that they are a waste of time and totally impractical, it has to be said that they are super-cool. So, I’m gonna give it a 7/10
INDIA: Is an absolutely incredible place. One of those ‘love-it-or-hate-it’ situations: I love the busyness and the colour and the narrow streets and people and cars and cows everywhere but some people find it too much. Kevin McCloud made an incredible documentary when he went and spent two weeks in one of India’s biggest slums and really brought out the tension of it all- the beauty and community as people pull together through lack of anything else to hold onto, but also the shocking-ness (is that a word?) that they do have nothing else, the stench, the need. I think it’s still available (google “slumming it”).
Having said all that, it has become a very popular place to go and ‘discover yourself’ and is probably overtaking Africa as the place people seem to be going to volunteer these days! The little thing within me that compels me to go against the bandwagon wherever possible causes India to loose a point. Which is sad. Because as you might tell by all this blabbering, I love it as a country and it’s very close to my heart. 8/10
THE SKY: Just as good as India but without the overcrowding, poverty and bandwagons! Endless, powerful, everchanging. 10/10
Posted by Someone on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC – I like ‘em. They seem like they’ve matured with their career and take it professionally, which is nice to see that they appreciate their privileged public status. Also, I like to believe double-acts (Reeves and Mortimer, Mayall and Edmondson, Mitchell and Webb (as if you needed examples of double-acts? Just an excuse to list lovely people :])) are actually mates outside of their work, and you always hear rumours about how they always hate each other, but A+D seem like they’re actual mates and that’s good enough for me! (to probably naively believe…) Downside… they just don’t seem that naturally funny (though SMTV was good!) So 6.5/10.
HOUMOUS – Oh how it can vary. When it’s good, it’s oh so good, but the low-fat/cheap versions can be a bit gross. And you don’t want it to go off… obviously. Paired with Pitta bread, it’s hard to beat as a snack. But I don’t think i’ll stretch higher than 6/10.
THE iPAD – I want one! But can’t really comment as have never set eyes on one other than through the magical telly box.
Same with INDIA, though less covetously, more- the people seem nice and… I want an elephant.
THE SKY – Temperamental but for every stunning sunset/rise and the ever-changing scheme of clouds, stars and birds it provides a transient canvas for… it’s kind of worth it. Most nature is beautiful really. 9.49/10.
Posted by ChrisP on August 18, 2010
ME?! Too lengthy to quote? Serrrrrriously?
I’ll try and be more brief this time.
Reasons to like Ant and Dec: Wonky Donkey, Splatoon, The PokeRap, CDUK, Chums! (Satire of that crappy NY sitcom of similar name) Behaving very cheekily to Cat Deeley (which was a bit risque but not too much so). Etc…. In short SMTV Live (starts 9:25…*sings*) rocked!
Reasons to dislike and Dec: Everything they have done since, especially Celebrity in the Jungle. that’s about 8 years of stuff.
SMTV and CDUK were up there with Robot Wars and the Simpsons back in 2001 for me (when I was just 11). It’s a shame that they have gone from presenting the best TV for children, to the worst TV for adults.
0/10 for them, no room for nostalgia here get off my TV set please (or do the rap).
Potholing: Doesn’t do it for me. I’m a bit claustrophobic in those kinda situations. No opinion. Do like caves and stuff, quite dark, pretty though.
iPad seems to do everything except that thing that you would really find useful; playing a DVD, for instance. A procrastinators best friend. Very expensive alternative to A4 sheet of paper/book/newspaper. Pretty though.
6/10 (I want one really)
The sky gets 5/10 it’s so bloody unpredictable. And big. Pretty though.
Also, really enjoyed show on Tuesday Mark, everybody with me had a great time, very uplifting can’t wait till next tour in a few months. Very funny stuff and cheers for chatting before and after show. Sister about 3/4 through book already so she seems to like it. I don’t think I will get it back for a few hours now.
Posted by Ivan (@ivanbrett) on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC (people): I’m constantly reminded of that classic moment in ‘Love, Actually’ when Bill Nighy’s character, when being interviewed by them, begins his answer “Well, Ant or Dec…”. This sums up my opinion of them. I spend so long during their shows trying to work out which is which, I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to what they do or say.
6/10
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE (book, film, or both): The book is great, I’ve avoided the film after hearing bad reviews. I LOVE time travel in all forms. If I could, I’d invent a time machine in order to go back in time and tell myself to invent the time machine. However I can’t, because future me never visited present me, so I know it didn’t happen.
8/10
SALAMI (food; for vegetarians, HOUMOUS): These two things are not mutually exclusive! In fact, a sandwich with Salami, Houmous and a bit of chutney with some salad would do me very nicely right now.
The only thing that puts me off is that the little white bits in salami are just pure fat. If you took all the white bits to one side and just stuck them onto your body, you’d have the same result as eating them, and that’s science.
9/10
POTHOLING/CAVING (activity): As I’ve got bigger, I’ve got more scared of small spaces. The idea of getting stuck in a tube or a cave haunts my little dreams, and so potholing is my idea of hell. What if someone tickles your feet? Ack.
1/10
THE iPAD (device): I don’t have one, but I’m surprised about how quickly the world’s gone quiet about them. I’ve had a play on a couple and I’m not hugely impressed. Big iPhone not a small MacBook, and that’s the problem.
7/10
INDIA (country): I love loads of things that come out of India, their food, their cricketers, their amazing accents, and have going there as part of my TYSIC. However, I haven’t been yet. So it gets one point removed for not being where I am.
9/10
THE SKY (large area): The sky is pretty amazing, when you think about it. I’d go so far as saying that it’s crucial. I don’t think you can really criticise it, since we don’t have much of an alternative. So…I’m at a loss.
10/10
Posted by Anji on August 18, 2010
Ant & Dec – I’d like them to be my neighbours. Chirpy and friendly and nice. Plus imagine the people you’d meet The their parties! They seem like nice, hard working, not forgetting where they come from lads. 6/10
The time travellers wife – I only found the book last year, and after being told it was confusing, hard to follow and ok. I loved it! It was one of those I couldn’t put down. The book gets 8/10
The film, as so often happens let’s the team down. I think they simplified the film too much and missed some of the most important parts. OH liked the film, Mum looked blankly at Me and bah’d when I suggested the book. 4/10 – my tip don’t use the film to sell the book!
The sky – I like the sky when it is light blue, with fluffly little white clouds in. Or when it’s a sun rise ( only seen this on very rare occasions) and beautiful sun sets. Sometimes I like the sky better in, places like Cyprus or Grecce, England can be dull and gray. But perhaps this shows how versitile the sky can be. 7/10.
And that’s me done.
Posted by squoozles on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec – will always be PJ and Duncan, and I’m pretty sure I had a huge crush on Declan Donelly back in the day and I distinctly remember going into Our Price and getting their cassette singles (although I preferred Chesney Hawkes…) but I went off them on SM:TV and can’t stand any reality TV shows so have avoided them ever since. So 5/10.
Salami – cannot live without it. Sainsbury’s used to do some pre-sliced with some kind of cheese round the edge, thus satisfying 2 cravings at once. But doesn’t make you popular when eating it cos of the smell, so 8/10
The iPad – I am anti-apple in general and am currently working on a rival project, codename banana… 0/10
The sky – is frickin awesome! It gives us clouds, lightning, sunsets, rain… Oh, and rainbows! Rainbows rock! 10/10
Posted by Clembear on August 18, 2010
Time Traveler’s Wife – Its creepy. Its creepy to go back to your future wife when she was a child, and tell her you’ll be married someday, so why doesn’t she start to get to know you, an adult man. Creepy, creepy, creepy. Why doesn’t she go find someone else? Because he’s married to her in his timeline. Apparently, she doesn’t get a timeline of her own, if he’s gonna be with her, she damn well will be! Love and obsession are not the same thing – go for Wuthering Heights which at least has a think about what romantic obsession is. 1/10 (HULK (Eric Bana) TIME TRAVEL!)
Ant & Dec – I used to dislike them on principle, but then watched them a lot and think they’re funny, SM:TV was great too I want to know if they survive when seperated or only come as a twofer. 8/10
Salami – Delicious 9/10
The Sky – Isn’t it Brilliant, I mean, where does it end? 10/10
And it doesn’t; the sky is the sheer enormity of space above you the whole time. This is a bit daunting to contemplate all the time (see the Total Perspective Vortex) so from existential distress I’m going to rescore to 9/10.
India – far more complicated than my narrow experience of it. So 9/10 (1 deducted for Eurocentrism)
Posted by Lindsay on August 18, 2010
Ant & Dec: As a 9 year-old, I was slightly indignant that they brought too much comedy to (what I considered) the incredibly gritty Byker Grove. They have given me a permanent fear of paintballing, and I have not watched any of their shows in years. And yet there is an irrational fondness… 7/10
Salami: dangerously delicious, could be my undoing. -0.5 for the threat to my well-being, so a sound 9.5/10
Time Traveller’s Wife: I read it, even though I knew I would need to leave my brain on the bookshelf. Readable, but somewhat creepy if you think about it for more than a moment. 3/10
The Sky: My husband gets cross with my sky obsession, but if he will fall asleep on every journey we take. Frequently astonishing. 10/10
Posted by MusicalLottie on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec:
I enjoy their chirpiness and light humour. They used to tickle me pink when I was younger so I’d have given them a 10 then. Now I understand that they sometimes use innuendo so a point knocked off for that (their programmes are generally before the watershed) and another point knocked off for the fact that not all of the programmes they present are of great quality. 8/10
Salami:
Oh-so tasty but exceedingly unhealthy … 7/10 (because it tastes sooooooo good!)
Potholing/caving:
Heh, I should have a high score for this seeing as I lead caving sessions at work, but ours are a man-made ‘system’ of tunnels … all three(!) of them. So nice and safe, dry, non-scary and rather easy – though I still come out black and blue. Natural caves and tunnels I think would scare and batter me rather more. BUT one would imagine it’s awesomely great fun if you can deal with the fear (or just aren’t scared anyway) and are physically capable of negotiating the various features. 5/10, all things considered.
The Sky:
As I’ve reviewed some others I wouldn’t review this if I weren’t so enamoured with it! The sky is just … awe-inspiring. The clouds are so interesting, sunsets and sunrises are beyond reproduction (photographs and paintings cannot capture how glorious they are) and to see the stars on a dark, clear night – nothing can compare. In the interests of keeping scores sensible, I’ll give it 20/10 (restrained myself there!)
Posted by Rachael on August 18, 2010
That was a 10/10 for ant and dec.
Posted by Rachael on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec: I don’t use the L word alot but I genuinely love them. Have done ever since Byker Grove, I even had all their cassette tapes when they had a pop career. Declan Donelly was my first crush so I have no choice but to love everything that they do, except that skysports presenter. Also, my rabbits are called PJ and Duncan.
Posted by Tim on August 18, 2010
Ant & Dec: As I am from the North East it is almost compulsory to like these two. I think they are good entertainment presenters but hope they never act or sing again. They are good ambassadors for the North East. Rating 8/10
The Time Travellers Wife: What a slog that book was. I think it was over hyped and also slightly creepy. Give me Dr Who any day. Rating 6/10
Houmous: What a strange thing this is? Never liked it before but as fast approach my 30′s I seem to like it more, particularly like red pepper houmous. Rating 7/10
Potholing/Caving: DON”T DO IT!!!!! Why put yourself in a confined space that can flood without warning. Humans need daylight so best staying above ground for the vitamin D. Rating 1/10
iPad: I have to admit I love Apple. They make pretty things but if you have a laptop already then very little reason to have an iPad. I know someone who is now using to prop up a computer monitor. Says it all 6/10
Posted by Kathryn on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC (people):
As a true child of the nineties I have very fond memories of SMtv. Since then… I don’t think I’ve really watched anything they’ve done. But for the nostalgia factor: 6/10
I don’t think I can remember what “houmous” is.
THE SKY:
How does one review the sky? 10/10
Posted by Laura on August 18, 2010
I actually quite like Ant & Dec. Okay, they seem to have got where they have through sheer luck, but they seem nice and anyone who loves football as much as they do (even if it is Newcastle Utd – please let them get relegated again this season) is fine in my book. I have hugely fond memories of being a hungover student watching SMTV – good old Wonky Donkey. It’s a shame they now seem to be stuck presenting reality tv but at least they have the good sense to take the piss mercilessly out of the idiots who choose to take part. Ant does have an incredibly freaky forehead though. 8/10.
The Time Traveller’s Wife. Looks and sounds pants. I know some people who really love it (all women), but it really does not appeal to me in the slightest. I prefer my time-travel to be on the geekier side, I’m afraid. 1/10
Salami and houmous (who moose? I do love a bit of Harry Hill) are equally vile. Salami makes the fridge stink and houmous looks like slop. They both get 0/10.
Potholing. Why oh why would anyone do this? How can crawling through dark, damp places that seem too small for sensible people ever be fun? 0/10.
The iPad strikes me as being a bit pointless. It’s just all the wrong size to be useful; you can’t fit it in your pocket but it’s not a laptop. I imagine it would make my hand ache in the same way holding a large deck of cards does. I also can’t help but think that Steve Jobs is sitting around having a good old laugh at all the crap he can persuade people to buy just because it’s Apple. 0/10.
The sky. Awesome! 10/10, obviously.
Posted by Laurs on August 18, 2010
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/edinburgh/2010-royal-mile/
Just came across this on the BBC website, thought people might be interested.
Posted by Laurs on August 18, 2010
ANT AND DEC (people)- Hmm, they used to be ok, years ago when they weren’t everywhere, but then I saw them on everything and anything and they started to irritate me. I also get the impression that they are starting to get sick of working with each other all the time, though I doubt they would get work without the other…
Overall 5/10, wouldn’t mind if I never saw them again but equally, don’t mind if I happen to catch them on something I happened to be watching.
THE TIME TRAVELLER’S WIFE (book, film, or both)
I thought the book was one of the most disappointing things I have ever ever read. The premise was great, but it just wasn’t executed well. And don’t get me started on the pointless, useless, horrendous film version of said book. I hated every minute of it and didn’t care less one way or another what happened. Completely pissed me off that I’d invested time and effort into both reading the book and worse, that I paid money to see the film at the cinema. I hate it, hate it, hate it. There aren’t the words to actually describe how much this infuriates me.
0/10 – it would’ve been a large minus number, but in the interests of keeping the scores sensible, I’ll settle for 0.
SALAMI (food; for vegetarians, HOUMOUS)
Houmous for the veggie over here, amazing stuff! Love it. It’s so versatile (I know that isn’t spelled right, but can’t work out what’s wrong.) As a friend of mine once said “Houmous, the staple of the vegetarian diet!” Wonderful.
10/10
POTHOLING/CAVING (activity)
I’ve never done it. Mainly because I cannot for the life of me understand how crawling around in the dark can be considered fun. I don’t like small spaces at the best of times and it just seems to be a pointless activity.
0/10
THE SKY (large area; this is for people who aren’t in a position to comment on any of the others)
The sky is great. I especially love it at that moment when it’s not quite daytime, but not quite night time and it is that wonderful dark blue colour that I love. And looking at the sky at night, just wondering what is out there beyond the immediate sight, is a favourite pastime of mine.
8/10
Posted by Iona on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec – I love them. They just seem so nice and they’re really funny. But some of the shows they present are questionable in terms of quality. 9/10
The Time Traveler’s wife – One of my favourite books ever! It’s clever and romantic and just amazing amazing amazing. I cried at the end. The film wasn’t as good so it gets a point knocked off. Also it uses the American spelling of “traveler’s” which shouldn’t annoy me but does… so 9/10
The sky – Pretty. And blue. Pretty especially when not just blue but other colours like red and orange. Ummm… yeah 10/10
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on August 18, 2010
Excellent Very Late Review.
The only thing I can review is the sky, unfortunately. The sky is quite big, and sometimes its a nice colour. And it has fun clouds in, so that’s nice. 10/10
PS Also, YAY to UoB. Megan. Steph, we’re well cool. x
Posted by lisan66 on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec: BLEH! 0/10
The Time Travellers Wife: Book as AMAZING. I tmade you think. Film was ok, the guy was hot! Overall 7/10
That’s all. I’d do more, but I’m on my way to a results party!
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on August 18, 2010
Ant and Dec – I adore these guys
“From Saturday Night Takeaway” to “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” these guys are just my cup of tea – as you english say 
A few years back, I could never remember who was who until I figured that Dec was the shorter of the two 
So yeah 9/10.
The Time Travellers Wife!! Possibly THE most confusing movie ever. I watched it the whole way through thinking “Ok, I can’t be the only one who’s confused” – So I looked over at my parents who looked equally puzzled but trying to look like they understood everything that was happening…. So… I’m afraid…. 3/10 – purely because I understood nothing that was happening.
Don’t get my started on how much of a waste the IPad is… 0/10.
India – never been there, but love my indian takeaway
8/10
The Sky – Possibly the most amazing thing in the world for a 17 year old who has nothing to do, to look at. Always moving, always changing, never the same, different patterns, different clouds, different shades… so… infinite….. 100000000000000000001/10