…and relax
Thanks for indulging me over a weekend of very shabby blogging. The combined pressures of getting-ready-for-Edinburgh, getting-ready-to-have-a-new-kitchen-put-in, having-an-ill-baby and so on have compromised the blog almost to breaking point. But not quite. Still, it’s been harrowing stuff. I’m in the process of putting a ‘safety officer’ in place so that, as well as all the other precautions, I have someone to turn to in the event of future emergencies. Let’s hope, though, that once I get up to Scotland (tomorrow), things will settle down.
Following on from Rick Procter’s enigmatic Comment yesterday, I would just like to say that if you REALLY want to hear someone say ‘frisbee’ the way it’s meant to be said, check out the Super Furry Animals song of that title from their wondrous first album, ‘Fuzzy Logic’. It was Gruff, the lead singer of SFA, who provided the main inspiration for the peculiar hilly Welsh accent that propped up my early career.
Nuala, quite reasonably, asked why I don’t write the blog first thing, giving myself a margin for error. The answer is that most days, ‘first thing’ doesn’t exist, once you have a baby. He starts to wake up around 6am and then I bundle him into his pram and take him out for a walk at 7. On occasion, I’m up even before these frightful hours, and then I do sometimes get something posted. But normally, the blog fits into the space at the end of the day – a space which unfortunately often shrinks to virtually nothing.
I’ll tell you about the thing I was recording yesterday in the back of the cab. Basically, remember at the Edinburgh Fringe last year I did that thing called The Hotel. The people behind that odd venture (The Invisible Dot) are this year mounting another bonkers and clever endeavour during the festival. They have bought several phone boxes from a bloke in Essex. As you walk around Edinburgh, you can go into these phone boxes and put money in, like you used to do to make a phone call in the old days, before everyone had a mobile and BT were reduced to doing rather pleasing ads saying things like ‘if you really want to show you care, use a landline, for some reason we haven’t entirely thought of yet!’ When you insert your coin, you’ll listen to a menu of people like Tim Key, DBC Pierre, Stewart Lee, Paul Muldoon – writers, poets and comedians – who have all recorded a story or sketch or poem or something. You choose one and listen to it. For a quid. Then you leave the phone box. It’s brilliant.
So, I’ve done an improvised monologue about a man who’s one of these 999 hoaxers that get off on sending fire-engines on a wild-goose chase. It’s ten minutes long and I had to record it in the back of this cab, saying things like ‘I remember the first time I wasted police time…’ and hoping the cabbie couldn’t hear me through that screen. If you are up in Edinburgh, I recommend finding one of these phone boxes – they’re all quite central – and taking part in this quintessential Fringe idea. Mine probably won’t be one of the better ones, as it was a rush job, but some will be amazing I’m sure.
There are three Amazon reviews of my tiny little novel now. All favourable, not surprisingly as they’re by people like you. Thank you enormously for doing this. As I’ve said before, I don’t have any compunction about trying to ‘fix’ Amazon like this because (a) some people will always write horrible stuff and counterbalance it; (b) I do actually believe the book is quite good, and wouldn’t want it to sink completely without trace. And thanks to everyone who’s bought and/or read the thing so far. I have banged on about it a fair bit, but writing books is so important to me.
Now I’d better get on with another one.
This is going to be posted a clear six hours before the deadline. Ace. No tension tonight. I’m going to celebrate by running 10km (I’m doing a half-marathon soon, more of that in the coming days). Next time I address you, my friends, it will be from damp, exciting Edinburgh. Can’t wait.
Posted by Beth (Bloomability) on August 2, 2010
I have stared reading Eleven and love it so far ^_^
Mark, your writing style is marvellous! I’ll wrie a review as soon as I’m finished reading it.
Posted by Rachael on August 2, 2010
Maybe they should put them phoneboxes everywhere, they sound great. I’m already excited for the next book
Posted by Seamus on August 2, 2010
Unrelated, I know, but I’ve just seen between 20 and 30 posters with your face on them while traveling around Edinburgh. Any chance I could get a fraction of a Where’s Watson point?
Posted by Ed Holroyd on August 2, 2010
The phone boxes sound great. I had a quick look on the Invisible Dot’s website, but couldn’t find any more information. Do you know if they are a one off for Edinburgh or if they would be interested in taking them to other cities/festivals?
Posted by MusicalLottie on August 2, 2010
Have fun at Edinburgh! I haven’t commented for a while but have very much enjoyed the last-minute blogs, especially you calling us your ‘genuine audience’
I read this blog yesterday, and was delighted to see ‘Frisbee’ on the timetable for this week’s summer camp at work! (It was spelled ‘frisbie’ but never mind.)
The phone boxes sound very cool indeed; I hope they’re a great success.
Posted by Lydia on August 2, 2010
I wish I was going to Fringe. I’m thinking maybe next year. If I start saving right now. Lol.
I love the phone box idea.
I hope you have fun x
Posted by Paul on August 2, 2010
“Tiny little novel”? I was quite alarmed at the size of it (height, mainly) when I opened the package on Friday afternoon, but mercifully it fits on the shelf upon which your other books reside with just a few millimetres to spare, so a full scale reorganisation of my bookcase is unnecessary.
Physical dimensions aside, I finished reading Eleven last night and it was excellent! I love reading books, always have done, but it seems to get harder to find the chunks of time that make devouring a novel such a pleasure. Hopefully, then, it tells you everything you need to know that after reading chapter one on Friday, I merrily cast aside various things over the course of the weekend in order to properly devote time to it.
Oh, and can I thank you for ‘dzo’. I’m no regular Scrabble player, but I know a few of the two-letter words (‘za’ is my favourite) and have happily committed that nice example of a three-letter to memory.
Posted by Madeleine on August 2, 2010
Those phone boxes sound awesome! Yet anouther reason to rue not living anywhere near Edinburgh. It’s the middle of winter and Saturday was 30 + degrees (celcius… that’s really hot). Really tested my commitment to Black Jeans All The Time.
I was actually quite relieved to see that there hasn’t been anything too exciting going on with this blog over the past few days. I’ve been at Splendour in the grass (music festival) and haven’t been able to read it for a while.
Splendour was amazing. I was front and centre for The Strokes, had to stand there for 7 hours and wait through the mosh of Wolfmother for it. Also almost got crushed to death and now am almost completely purple from my hips to my chest (Julian Casablancas called us “a cauldron of humanity”). It was worth every second. Julian and I made eye contact like 7 times and he smiled and waved down at us, saying “yeah, we love the shit out of you too” (in response to my frenzied, hysterical “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”).
Not that important for you to know, but that’s why i’ve been away. Have the results of the “change the world” challenge been posted yet? I’ve read all the blogs but sometimes they don’t all show up for me.
Posted by Paul Minihan on August 2, 2010
Morning Mark when i logged on this morning there you were next to our Cheryl. No not in her bed that would be rediculous. She has malaria you know and what did your mother tell you about mixing it with girls who have malaria? My mam who will be 90 on August 8th told me from an early age where to put my cursor and her words always stuck with me as i trained for the celebate life. Now have i spelt celebate correctly? Yes my oxford says yes so it is in the q and a. Have you seen that movie with Nick Nolte playing the bent Irish cop covering up for his boss who too was bent? What a blast. Think i will watch it again when i finish this little head to head.
So you are off to Caledonia. I spoke to a lass from Caledonia yesterday when setting up a visa payment. What a jolly wee person and her voice sounded just like that Lorraine Kelly. I was amazed at how similar their voices were and i just knew that Lorraine could also sell life insurance over the phone.
Anyway mate your taxi is outside and i’ve got chickens to pluck when i have had a litre of Chai. So i will say adios y que sigues bailando. Only one l.
Posted by Rachel Winter on August 2, 2010
the phoneboxes sound cool, will definitely look out for those.
cant believe you’re going up tomorrow, am so jealous. even though I’m going up fri i still HATE that people are up there before me!
i cant wait for a month of comedy, baked potatoes and cafes!
Posted by Lizzie on August 2, 2010
It rained all day today in Edinburgh – please bring sunshine!
Posted by Shell on August 2, 2010
Have a great time in Ed – I can’t wait till I can get up there myself and I love that phone box idea! I hope I can do that several times.
Looked up Super Furry Animals – Frizbee and now that comment does make sense.
Really enjoying ‘Eleven’ so will review it on Amazon soon.
x
Posted by Maddie on August 1, 2010
Have a great time in Edinburgh Mark, and all of you that are going! Wish I could be there to join in the fun, looking forward to hearing about it though.
x
Posted by h2osarah on August 1, 2010
I will be in Edinburgh a short, 6 days after you get there. I hope your journey up is safe and hassle-free. I’ll definitely have to check out these phone boxes. I had to use a real phonebox in Edinburgh last year (canadian, too poor to pay for long-distance charges, no unlocked cellphone), sadly, it stank of piss. I hope these ones remain smell-free.
Posted by Kathryn on August 1, 2010
By my calculations my Internet broke around five minutes before you posted this. So it’s good to have a blog to distract me from wanting to kill BT and Apple. Even if it does make me wish I was going to Edinburgh.
Posted by Corey on August 1, 2010
I have just signed up with an Amazon account, and made a ‘Watson’ related purchase to celebrate. So in 48 hours I am legally allowed as per Amazon rules to review ‘Eleven’……..so I shall.
Good luck for Edinburgh, I’m coming to the fringe for the first time ever and very much looking forward to it
Posted by Marbles on August 1, 2010
Good luck in Edinburgh! I also look forward to blogs (from you and other Watsonians) about all the shennanigans.
My copy of eleven has arrived! I may save it for my holiday though so I can relax and read it instead of reading it while feeling guilty that I’m not doing something else that I probably should be doing.
I appreciated the shorter blogs this weekend as I’ve been a bit all over the place so they didn’t take me so long to catch up! Silver linings….
Posted by Nuala on August 1, 2010
Well, now I feel terrible. I do understand about the baby thing. I have two (no longer babies, admittedly) but I suppose I really meant that if you posted your blog just after midnight (as you are clearly up at that time) then you would free yourself from a tiny amount of stress. Am loving CATE at the moment, by the way.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on August 1, 2010
I’m really excited for the Invisible dot stuff in Ed this year and will def. check out you’re message (and most likely all of them).
Have a safe trip up to Ed and see you on the 19th!
Posted by Carl on August 1, 2010
Good luck with then Fringe, mate. Deeply gutted I’m not going. Look after yourself.
Posted by Katie on August 1, 2010
I was in Edinburgh on Wednesday picking up my tickets (for your show, funnily enough), and it was absolutely glorious. The sun was shinning, beautiful blue skies, etc. I think the weather has a vendetta against the festival, however.
Zoe and I are going to go on a mission to find one of these phone boxes. I’m sure they’ll be brilliant.
Posted by Aislinn on August 1, 2010
Oh, …fiddle. I was going to post a clever comment about how it was eleven days until the book launch of Eleven in Edinburgh and then I realised it’s actually only ten days. I should have thought about this yesterday.
What a lovely, long blog that was. See you on the 5th!
Posted by Heather on August 1, 2010
“Damp Edinburgh” couldn’t be a more accurate description for things today. Although, it did stay dry for long enough for me to get up to Tesco earlier. Sadly, I can’t say it stayed that way while I was in there. My walk down the road was fun.
I am very appreciative of your Super Furry Animals/Gruff Rhys references. I love that he inspired your early Welsh accent. That’s awesome.
Also, nice one on the phone box thing. Pretty sure they’ll go down well.
Posted by DeborahF on August 1, 2010
My copy of Eleven arrived Friday morning and I’ve been so busy with family stuff (it was my Aunt’s 80th birthday today) that I’ve only managed the first chapter so far. Tonight I plan to make a cuppa, put my feet up and read some more – can’t wait.
Anyway I’m sure the show will be excellent – I would love to be there but can’t be this year. Looking forward to hearing all about it on here instead
Posted by Megan on August 1, 2010
Sweet! A ‘proper’ blog (whatever that means) to read during my layover.
I’m allegedly training for a half too, though I didn’t bring my running shoes to Europe. I have to attempt at least 10k tomorrow. I’m afeared. And feeling fat. (Walking or biking up to 20k a day helped slightly, I hope.)
Getting even more mad jealous of folks heading to the Fringe. Publication schedule at work means I have loads of work throughout August always. Maybe I should quit my job.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on August 1, 2010
To be honest, I just assumed Procter was drunk again. Perhaps he just got carried away with his LOVELY iPHONE.
Safety officer sounds like a good plan, and so does blogging from Edinburgh. As I can’t be there this year I’m looking forward to hearing all about it. xx
Posted by Alistair on August 1, 2010
Edinburgh isn’t always damp, “looks out window” ok it may be damp today and this has be one of the wettest July’s in a while but we had a dry spell back in June.
Posted by Misha on August 1, 2010
Exciting stuff! And weirdly appropriate for the invisible dot that it was recorded in the back of a cab. That might be something for me to do at 7.30am when I arrive in Scotland, since everyone else will be on fringe time and therefore have not long gone to bed. Or something.
Still resisting the temptation to read Eleven, so as to have it to enjoy during my 10 hours on the coach. I don’t know if I can make it.
Posted by Laurs on August 1, 2010
Have a fabulous time in Edinburgh Mark! I’m sure it will be wonderful! Gutted I can’t be there to see the show for myself, but there’s always the tour in October.
Anywho, have a fabulous time! x