Casualty
Thank you for your suggestions of celebrity brushes to aim for, based on the principle that virtually anything is possible in a world of infinite ‘coincidences’, which I explored quite badly in the last blog. Sorry for the bad maths and for the incoherent claim that science couldn’t deal with an unpredictable reality. It can, of course. What I meant was that ultra-rational views of the universe have to factor in the fact that the universe itself behaves – as far as our limited minds can grasp – pretty irrationally. But you all got that, anyway. There was an interesting maths debate between Ben and Matthew over exactly how unlikely the octopus’s feats were. Not sure if we got to the bottom of it. But anyway, I’ve selected a few of the ‘doing things with celebrities’ goals which seem just about realistic. They range from the pretty possible (Minchin) to the just-about-possible (I’ve met Daniel Radcliffe before) to the extremely-unlikely-but-in-ten-years-who-knows (that cuppa with Fry and Laurie; I have met Fry a couple of times actually, but it didn’t quite get to that stage). Here is the full list of stalking targets:
-Drink Twinings tea with Fry AND Laurie
-Brewery tour with Sue Barker
-Croquet with Minchin; darts with Paul O’Grady
-Discuss tennis with Daniel Radcliffe
-Buy drink for Brian Blessed
-Boating lake fun with Jon Snow
-Doughnut with Rolf Harris
…two people, incidentally, chose having a picture with ME as their goal, which is pretty attainable, I think.
It’s been a long wait for this blog, because yesterday’s was published in the early hours, and – as you might be aware from Twitter and other rumour-mongers – I have spent a lot of the intervening time with our small, slightly bunny-rabbit-like baby in hospital. He has some sort of viral infection, probably e-coli, but it’s not as serious as that sounds (e-coli is something of a big name these days). We weren’t expecting this – it was a trip to the doctors’ which ended up in a referral to the hospital and suddenly people are saying things like ‘one parent can sleep on a camp bed’ and ‘dinner is at 6pm’. The infant is now fairly fine, after having a drip put in his tiny arm, which is not an easy thing for a beginner Dad to watch. But it’s been a trying couple of days, and at the same time I had to do preview shows in Kingston and (more taxingly) Durham. So I’ve had the guilt of leaving 2/3 of my family on a ward, and also the mental challenge of doing a full-length show after a day in the enervating atmosphere of the hospital (although I must say, everyone there was pretty much amazing. It’s the Ifor Ward in the Whittington Hospital, Highgate. Thanks, everyone there. Bet it means a lot to be in a blog, if you’d only pause from saving kids’ lives to read it).
Anyway. It’s all OK.
But I need to sleep, for ages. I’m still in Durham, so this is my only opportunity. Bye, everyone. The chances are I’ll be up a LOT over the next couple of nights, so get ready for some far more comprehensive blogging after this one. Bloody hell – it’s twenty to midnight. Imagine if, after all these efforts to make the midnight deadline, I missed it one day simply by not remembering how time works. Not tonight, though. This is going straight up on the internet. Take that, laws of time.
Posted by Misha on July 28, 2010
This is me nearly caught up (and awaiting tonights)
If you ever play croquet with Minchin I think it’s something that needs to be filmed. Just because i’ve got a lovely mental image if nothing else. Lovely as in charming and amusing that is. Not something dodgy.
Hope Kit get’s better soon, my little brothers been unwell of late, but just in a calpol-y way. Ill small humans are tiring.
Posted by Ally on July 28, 2010
Glad to hear Kit is doing okay, hope everything continues to go swimingly!
Posted by Madeleine on July 28, 2010
“Enervate” is the spell that they use in Harry Potter to wake people up when they’ve been stunned. That is all.
Posted by Paul on July 28, 2010
Can I second the comment about the word ‘enervating’? I’m glad I now have it in my vocabulary, though I suspect it might have been generally better all round if I was one word less well off and you hadn’t had to suffer the inherent stresses of seeing your baby in hospital.
I can’t begin to comprehend how you did a comedy show after a day spent in a hospital. Four hours spent in one with my Grandad last week was sufficient to completely fry my head. All those white walls and uncomfortable chairs made driving home taxing enough, so I have boundless admiration for your ability to somehow put all that to one side and go do your job. It’s good to hear things are improving.
Oh, and as you are also now combatting one of the fundamental laws of the universe and triumphing over Time itself (in addition to everything else that’s going on), are you now setting your stall out to be the Twelfth Doctor? There’s an ambition to fulfil within ten years!
Posted by Anna on July 28, 2010
I hope that Kit is now well on the road to recovery, and that you can bring him home soon. It must have been so scary for you and Mrs W.
He’s very cute, by the way.
Posted by Lydia on July 28, 2010
I’m glad Kit’s okay. That must have been so stressful. Hugs x
Posted by louisel on July 28, 2010
Glad that Kit is ok
when my baby cousin was ill, he was in that hospital (it might have even been that ward, but I’ve got a crap memory) and the doctors and nurses really are amazing.
I can’t believe the one week I’m in london you do a show in a theatre that’s literally in walking distance from my house. Ahh well, my mate went and he said you were fab
I’m seeing you in edinburgh next week (yay!) and I was wondering if you do a meety thingy with the audience after shows? Sorry if it’s a stupid question and I’m not a creepy stalker or anythin, but I know some comedians do and I’ve never been to the edinburgh festival or seen you live before.
Posted by SamJJ on July 28, 2010
I think you are very brave. It breaks my heart when George has to have his jabs and that is just a short, sharp, shock. I can’t imagine watching him have a drip and catheter!
On a different note am hoping to come to come to your Brighton gig. It’s just after my birthday so planning for it to be a date night with my husband. Just need to find someone to sit on the baby.
Posted by Rachael on July 28, 2010
Glad the baby is on the mend, hope the other kids managed to keep the noise down in the end.
Posted by Laura on July 28, 2010
My aunt used to work at the Whittington hospital. Glad to hear it still does stellar work.
I do hope you and the family are all muddling through somehow x
Posted by Anji on July 28, 2010
I hope today finds you a) well rested and b) that Kit is even better than yesterday. I’ve been sending lots of hugs to all of you.
I guess in future times when things may be a little tough, you’ll look back to now and be able to say ‘if we got through that we can get through anything’. These things are sent to make us stronger!
And a bloody good way of testing the optimisim!
I’m off to order your book from amazon and possibly give to the OH for his birthday present, you know the kind of present, I’m giving it to you but really it’s for me sort. Or I may just keep it and read it next week on my days off – that sounds much better!
Posted by cymruangel on July 28, 2010
Hugs to you all, and many get well wishes to Kit.
My little sis was v.ill when small, so I know all about the incubator/ drip in very small arm/ vast swathes of monitoring equipment around v.tiny person scariness. It’s not pretty, but at least it means the best care possible is being given. Well done you for managing to get on with ‘work’ regardless – that must have been tough.
Rachel’s absolutely fine now by the way, and I’m sure Kit will be too.
Posted by Katy on July 28, 2010
Im glad Kit is on the mend, what a cute baby you have!
You, in additional to a couple of my friends, recounting baby stories and turmoil have made me realise that I really dont want any for a few more years. Which is a good thing, because I was at the point where I was going to just go and do it anyway as I’m sure my clock was ticking so loudly it was going to explode.
Hope you’ve enjoyed Durham despite having to be away from the nipper. Its a rather lovely place and not far from my hometown. I also once got stuck in a car on a hill in Durham.
Posted by KatKP on July 28, 2010
Hope the little one is feeling better soon. X
PS Really enjoyed the show last night. Shame there was no kangeroo in the end tho’.
Posted by Andy on July 28, 2010
Number 1 on my list of “things I hope I never see again” is my son hooked up to machines in hospital when he was 3, caused by a chest infection and a very bad asthma attack, so I know how that feels! What I do find is that – and I’m appreciating here that doctors and nurses do a fantastic job and should be paid double, and that they have a priority which is the patient – they have absolutely no concept of the fact that things have to keep happening outside the hospital and in your normal lives, like other children, work, school etc.
That sounds really grumpy and I’m not but I do find that once you’re in the clutches of the NHS, it is difficult to escape!!!!
Posted by Ed Holroyd on July 28, 2010
I haven’t commented on here for a while. I hope you had a good night’s sleep and it’s good to hear that your son is on the mend. I’d not come across the word ‘enervating’ before, but, having looked it up, I think it is a perfect for describing the peculiar sappingness of hospitals. They are intriguing places. I’m always struck by how everyone in them does remarkable things as if they are everyday and when they should have run out of energy a long time ago. Saying that, I hope you get to take your son home soon so the three of you can get a well earned rest.
Posted by EmT on July 28, 2010
Glad Kit is on the mend and congrats on doing the two shows whilst in a state of baby related turmoil. Bit sad I did not make it to the Kingston show in the end, but looking forward to Brighton in October…
Get well soon Kit.
Posted by hornseygirl on July 28, 2010
Sorry to hear you’ve all had such a tottering time. I hope that the wee man continues to recover and that you managed to grab some rest too.
Posted by Paul Dobson on July 28, 2010
Great show in Durham last night, Mark – perfectly adequate, as the saying goes in certain parts of the city – but just one thing……there’s no thing as pear cider! If it’s made with apples, it’s cider, if it’s made with pears, it’s perry. You don’t decide to call garden peas beans just because you think it might sell a few more cans.
rant over, but think how Rhod Gilbert might get angry about that one!
good luck in Edinburgh
Posted by Britt on July 28, 2010
My thoughts are with you and the whole family. It must be an anxious time for you. But I saw the picture that Emily posted of Kit on Twitter, and there’s no way a critter that adorable could be too sick. He’ll be fine. And I’m not just saying that. Okay, well, maybe I am. But still, he’ll be fine.
On a slightly creepier note, you were in my dream last night, Mark. Yes, it sounds creepy, but it wasn’t really. Firstly, you’ve never featured in my dreams before, and secondly, it wasn’t a creepy dream. Thinking about it, I was watching “Sherlock” when I drifted off to sleep, so your inclusion in the dream may have something to do with my brain making links through the name Watson.
Anyway, in the dream, it was my birthday, and I was eating noodles with some friends at an undefined person’s house, and then I went outside, and you were there, watching the football on a telly in the garden. I went up to you and said hi, explained that this was my party, and you said you’d just dropped by to watch the game. I then asked if this counted towards points for Where’s Watson, and you said no. I was quite disappointed. And then I woke up. See, not creepy.
Posted by Madeleine on July 28, 2010
Sorry to hear about your rough night, glad Kit’s okay and I hope you get some rest soon (though, from your wife’s recent twitter updates, maybe not).
This may seem a little trivial considering, but YOU’VE MET DANIEL RADCLIFFE? Maybe in this tennis discussion you could mention my deep and complex feelings for him “yeah, I know a girl who also likes Roddick, other things she likes include: YOU, YOU BRILLIANT BASTARD”. Or something. Do what you feel.
Best wishes to your whole family, the good thing about babies is that they forget all this stuff very quickly, I spent heaps of time in the hospital as an asthmatic child and it didn’t traumatise me to much.
Posted by Rick Procter on July 28, 2010
You are an absolute hero dood. Bless ya, and your family.
As it is I’m trying to learn to be more succinct, but in this case those two short sentences sum things up roundly I feel. Sleep well fella.
Posted by Kathryn on July 28, 2010
I’m glad you think getting a picture is an attainable goal. I like a challenge.
I should learn not to comment this late at night. It stops making sense.
Posted by Rachel Winter on July 28, 2010
Whoohoo both my suggestions included!
I’m particularly fond of the Jon Snow one – who doesn’t love Jon Snow on C4 news.
Sorry Kit is still poorly. I hope you are at least enjoying tea-trolley lady (dawn, noon and 6pm for ‘bedtime’ cuppa).
Posted by Maddie on July 28, 2010
Hope the little one feels better soon. x
Posted by Carl on July 28, 2010
If there was such a thing as Carlympics, you and Emily would get the gold for ‘Dedicated parents during an incredibly hectic schedule’ event (The Carlmittee are still working on shortening the name). Kit would get a chocolate gold medal for sticking in there.
I’m waffling. I’m tired. Glad you’re all well! x
Posted by JuanLobbe on July 27, 2010
Mark – my sympathies re: the nipper. The early stages can be very tough – but it gets better! We’ve just had number 2 and nights in hospital with number 1 are now (and I hope will remain) a distant memory. Watching my son develop and grow has been truly amazing for this grumpy cynic – so hang in there, there’s so much to look forward to. Get well soon Kit!
Posted by lisan66 on July 27, 2010
I just read the last few blogs (seems I haven’t been home since I went out on Friday), and they were all great. It was nice to read a whole load of them at once! Glad to hear that Kit is doing ok! Get some sleep, it’s good for you.
Posted by Ben Draper on July 27, 2010
I hope Kit will recover quickly. And my thoughts are with you. It must be really hard to see your newborn in that environment. Congratulations on coping so well!
Posted by Zoe Fell on July 27, 2010
You and Emily are just incredible.
I’m really pleased to hear that Kit’s doing a lot better, I’m sending lots of lovely thoughts your way.
Now. Try and get some well deserved sleep.
Xxx
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on July 27, 2010
Glad Kit’s getting on alright. In the photo Emily posted he looks absolutely beautiful, despite being ill. Enjoy a good night’s sleep! xx
Posted by helen (@iamanicelady) on July 27, 2010
glad things are going better for you all. last time i stayed in durham i was near the cathedral which bongs determinedly through the night, hope you’re further away from it than i was!
xx