A tired man rambles
I may have raised hopes unduly by mentioning this Channel 4 pilot yesterday. I didn’t mean it to be such a big announcement. The thing with pilots is that they don’t very often lead to proper shows, because they usually don’t quite work. If I had kept a level head, I would have rated the chances of a full series at more like 20/80 than 50/50. However, that would probably have done a disservice to my vow of optimism. So, hmm. We’ll see. It’s one of these situations where if it works out, it’ll be ace, but if not, I have plenty of other stuff I can be getting on with. So I’m pretty relaxed. The pilot will probably not even be shown on the telly, so you might never know how things turn out. But you’ll certainly hear from me. And I might be able to get a few people in to the recording, if anybody fancies it.
There follow some interesting talking points arising from recent Comments. First, a bit of fun:
Are you aware that “The Humanist” appear to have based the image on the secular/atheist/humanist card in their God Trumps pack on a cartoon of you?
http://newhumanist.org.uk/1915/god-trumps-part-i
Next, a giveaway. I hope we can find a home for these tickets via this blog, as I’m really into my problem-solving, as you know. I would endorse Ben’s warning: if you ever go to a BBC recording, arrive as early as you humanly can. They always over-allocate them.
Hi, I have two tickets for the recording of The Unbelievable Truth this Sunday (25th/7) and I would love to give them away on this blog as I won’t be able to travel to London on that day.
I went to go and see yesterday’s recording but due to problems with the tube we turned up not long before recording began and we were turned away having been told that the venue was full. I recommend getting there for half past 5, as the ticket weakly and ambiguously suggests.
Anyway, if anyone wants the ticket, tweet me at @bendraper123.
And now, a quick roundup of my day. As you’ll be aware if you read my wife (@MrsEmilyWH)’s memorable two-word tweet, ‘Use contraception’, we have had a troublesome night and day with K Watson. He got a temperature and waaaah-ed for a good bit of the night. We slept a combined total of about one hour. We took him to the doctor today and had to try and get him to produce a urine sample. If you think it’s hard weeing on demand in these situations, try getting a baby to do it. Eventually they found he has some sort of infection. I then had to go and record a show for Radio 2, voice some more of my Innocent rabbit marvelling over how much fruit is in a smoothie, and audition for a sitcom (I think I failed, but it wasn’t really my fault; I’m not an actor, for starters). So Emily had to spend most of the day with a disgruntled baby. She deserves tremendous adulation.
We are now both as tired as Columbus after he finally got to America and realised there were people there already.
Tomorrow I am doing many interviews to promote my tour/book/life. If anyone wants to suggest fun words, I’ll try to get them in. See you tomorrow. I *may* use tomorrow’s blog to add to my occasional series of Talking About Celebrities I’ve Met. Because I am scheduled to meet a minor celebrity in the afternoon. But you never know how these things will work out. Only the dawn will tell us. But I fucking hope I’m not up to see it, this time.
Posted by Rachel Winter on July 24, 2010
oh and how about ‘emulsified’ or ‘mangle-ator’?
Posted by Rachel Winter on July 24, 2010
well i couldnt click on the trump card, but i could tell just from the tiny version it was pretty watson-like!
didnt someone also tell robin ince that he’s in a trumps set of some kind?
talking of cartoon watsons, i have spotted one in the v latest ‘hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo’ lloyds advert. see if you can spot him!
Posted by Anji on July 23, 2010
I hope that Kit allowed you both to sleep better last night and that the little man is doing better today. I imagine getting a baby to pee on demand is tricky. I once had to follow my puppy round with a pot to get a ‘mid flow’ sample, also had to ‘make sure there is enough to sample’. It took quite a while!
Congratulations Anna! You’ll be fine! Maybe slightly crazier in the short term, but fine in the long term!!
Posted by ChrisP on July 23, 2010
Very pleased to hear about the interviews, may I be the first to offer my most enthusiastic contrafibularities? And a word to slip into the interviews with that.
Allows a few current non-watsonians to pick up on the in-joke too (come on you must recognise that!)
Posted by Laura on July 23, 2010
I’d be offended by that Top Trumps lookalike if I were you.
I would very much like to be smuggled into a recording. Or allowed legitimate entry. Either/or, I don’t mind. I haven’t been to see a tv show being recorded since This Morning with Richard not Judy. I’m giving my age away again.
I don’t envy you or your saintly wife; I struggle being anywhere near a screaming baby, let alone having to live with one on a daily basis. You both deserve some sort of prize. What would you like? Hope young Watson is on the mend.
Posted by Anna on July 23, 2010
I hope young Watson is feeling better now- there’s few things on earth more miserable than a poorly baby. Though can I request that you stop mentioning the lack of sleep and general crapness of having a small child?
I found out recently that I’m expecting baby number 2 (due in mid February), and I’m trying to convince myself that deliberately planning to have 2 children under 2 isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever done!
Posted by JontyLarr on July 23, 2010
Today, I managed to fit the words rhetoric and thenceforth (future tense of henceforth) into a letter to a client.
Get these words in, or I win, basically.
Posted by Marbles on July 23, 2010
Hope Baby Watson is feeling better and that you and Mrs W get a good nights sleep tonight x
Posted by Will on July 23, 2010
Try to use the phrase “bummed in the Gob” I know it sounds crude but watch this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctB9P0c_Y3Q
(the guy who says it has been on Charlie Brooker’s show talking about games a few times.)
Oh and I hope your son gets better.
Posted by Josh on July 23, 2010
I think you should use the word “Pedenstrous”. Of course, it doesn’t mean anything at all, but I’m not sure anyone will notice if you slip it in.
“Well I think one of the main hurdles I came across in writing the book was that I’ve always been so damn pedenstrous.”
Posted by Lydia on July 23, 2010
I hope that Kit is feeling better and you and Emily got to sleep. Good luck with the interviews x
Posted by Katy on July 23, 2010
I have so much respect for people that bring up children. I have no idea how you do it, especially when they are ill and you arent sleeping. I was recently at my friends house and they were potty training their eldest daughter. I couldnt believe the patience they had. Anyway I do hope that Kit gets better soon and that you guys get some well deserved sleep.
Also I wouldnt mind coming along to a pilot recording, it sounds quite exciting!
Posted by Nuala on July 23, 2010
Have always liked the word ‘somnambulistic’ and given your current state, probably fairly easy to use, if not be, in your interviews.
Posted by Kate W on July 23, 2010
I hope all the Watsons get a good night’s sleep and suggest “fandango” as a fun word.
Posted by Hannah Mae on July 23, 2010
Pilot-viewing sounds like fun…
As for words to get into interviews, how about bizarre name-dropping in every answer? ‘It’s like Ann Widdecombe always says…’, ‘I try to think what Dean Gaffney would do in these situations…’ etc. The more unlikely the celebrity, the better. Amusing to watch but might make you look a bit unhinged, admittedly.
Hope there is less crying in the Watson household tonight.
Posted by Juliet on July 23, 2010
I really hope Kit gets better soon!!
Posted by Daniel on July 23, 2010
just replace intensifiers like “very” and “really” with more stupid ones like “uber” and “super”
Posted by Maddie on July 23, 2010
*Oblong* is one of my favourite words, because it is a ’round sounding’ word, for a square (well, rectangular) shape.
*Turmoil* because it sounds so serious.
*Vloerbedekking* a Dutch word meaning carpet/flooring/floor covering and a Frank Zappa reference.
Hope that the little one feels better soon x
Posted by Kathryn on July 23, 2010
My only reason for not sleeping last night was a rubbish sofa bed. I hope you sleep better tonight and miss the dawn. It’s not worth seeing, really.
Favourite words: quibble, toast, antidisestablishmentarianism, bed…
Just got back from holidays so there’s a lot of blog to catch up on. It’s exciting.
Posted by Sephy on July 22, 2010
Big round of applause for Mrs Watson. I can just about handle a crying baby for the length of a short bus ride without screaming. I know it’s different when it’s your own child but still, well done.
Words I enjoy hearing;
Rumpus
Skullduggery
Flummox
…please spread the joy.
x
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on July 22, 2010
ooo pilot recording audience would be fun. I’d bake cakes if you could get a few in
Really hope Kit gets better soon and you and Emily can get some rest soon
Posted by MusicalLottie on July 22, 2010
Oh poor Kit, and poor you and Emily! I hope he’s better soon and you both can get a bit of sleep!
‘Extricate’ and ‘elucidate’ are words I rather like, so a couple of suggestions for tomorrow, although less exciting/flambouyant than previously-suggested words.
Posted by Sam on July 22, 2010
“Rambunctious” is an utterly marvellous word which would certainly be fun for you to use.
Posted by Hannah on July 22, 2010
I’ve just got back from camping, was without internet (and plumbing for that matter) for a week – who changed the world while I was gone?!
Posted by Rachael on July 22, 2010
I started reading Eleven today, my favourite bits so far are “like candles into butter icing on a cake” and “lies in bed in a waiting room between thoughts and dreams”, very nice descriptions, it’s a good job you’re a writer really. Good luck with the baby.
Posted by Paul on July 22, 2010
Oh, and I’ve always been a fan of the word ‘tumultuous’, though whether you’d want to try and get that into a light daytime interview I’m not sure…
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on July 22, 2010
Ooh, pilot recording would be fun please!
A *hug* for all three of you, hope things get better soon. x
Posted by Paul on July 22, 2010
Ah, so the advert is for Innocent. For some reason, when you mentioned an animal, I imagined you voicing one of the jungle residents in some sort of update of the classic Um Bongo advert.
Anyway…
Can I ask a question? Hopefully it’s not intrusive, but I’m just curious how ‘natural’ doing an advert feels compared to, well, I suppose any other aspect of your day job? Is it easier (or does it feel easier) than doing stand-up, or actually a bit harder because it’s not what you’re used to?
I think that basically sums up what I’m trying to get across, though I don’t feel I’ve worded it as well as I could have done. However, if I try and word it any differently I’ll be going round in circles for another three paragraphs.
Also, while I’m overusing the question mark (vague pun not intended) button on the keyboard, and because you’re the only comedian whose blog I comment on, can I ask what you make of the ‘Keith Chegwin/Twitter thing’?
I’m not so much interested in whether you think he’s guilty of plagiarism, more what you think about a joke being identified as ‘yours’. Is it something that’s crossed your mind (or frequently crosses your mind, perhaps), the possibility of your material ever being used/borrowed/copied/stolen by someone else? Or do think of your material only in your ‘voice’ and so the idea of anyone else using elements of it seems a bit unlikely?
(For the record, I appreciate that one-liners are more open to plagiarism than other forms of comedy, so for example I couldn’t really imagine anyone other than you telling your ‘pigeon hitting man’ story).
Personally I’m hoping it descends to the level of the ‘Gillian McKeith/Twitter thing’ and Chegwin starts tweeting in the third person and pretending nothing ever happened…
Right, long comment over. I’ll keep things a bit shorter in future!
Posted by Aislinn on July 22, 2010
I DEFINITELY fancy being gotten into the recording.
(Pretty please, if possible etc.)
Also in terms of grammar and writing and stuff ‘he got a temperature and waaaah-ed for a good bit of the night’ may be one of my favourite sentences of yours. Only in a written sense, though, and not because it involved Kit being unwell and you and your wife being tired or anything, so I’m glad that’s all (hopefully) got a bit better now.
I think I might be coming along to this show tomorrow with my sisters.
Posted by Megan on July 22, 2010
Yeah, I’m feeling pretty rough, but I got 4.5 hours of sleep, not 1. My big reason for not sleeping is that the Soviet-era trams on al. Grunwaldzka sound like a car crash every time the doors are closed. So, my vacation is noisy. I shouldn’t complain.
@DeborahF, that is awful. I wish all the best in finding something better.
@the Watson Family: I hope Kit feels better soon, poor wee man, and that you can all get some quality sleep.
Posted by Heather Jones on July 22, 2010
Big sympathetic hugs for both you and Emily for endurance in the face of the torturous misery-combo of sleeplessness and poorly baby. I do hope Kit is a bit better by now and lets you both have a bit more kip tonight.
Good luck with the interviews n stuff tomorrow. Can’t think of any fun words to suggest for inclusion, sorry.
Posted by DeborahF on July 22, 2010
Well my optimism went out the window too. Today I’ve been told I’m being made redundant – even as a hopeless optimist finding it hard to see the positive side of that
Sorry to start the comments on ‘a downer’ but that’s reality for you.