Drumming and diving
Well, I had a pretty strange afternoon doing Vernon Kay’s show on Channel 4. I suppose that’s the only kind of afternoon you can have doing something like that. In case you didn’t watch it, which is likely, a brief summary: I was on with ‘Amarillo’ singer Tony Christie (as in ‘is this the way to Amarillo… sha-la-la-la-la-lala (clap clap)’ and a man called Brian who once won Big Brother and now talks about Big Brother. I clapped dutifully (and a bit like a seal, as I do) as Christie, in rather tragi-comic fashion, ripped through his number one single for the 6705th time. I engaged in some banter. I plugged my book and tour, hastily, as that was one of the purposes of my visit.
And then, drumming. I’d been in discussion with the producer beforehand because he’d read this blog and knew about the TYSIC thing. Are there any challenges you could tackle live on the show, he asked? Yes, I said, I could try to do some drumming. It was suggested that I could drum for Tony Christie. I was quite thrilled by this idea but his ‘people’ vetoed it. I assumed he had a proper backing band, and understandably didn’t want me to throw them out with my amateurish efforts. When it came down to it, though, there was no band at all - he just sang with a backing track – so I was essentially ditched in favour of a person who didn’t exist.
BUT, as a compromise, I was allowed to drum along with the Royal Cadets, who were doing a bit of their odd marching-shouting-drumming business on the show (I can’t emphasise enough, it’s a pretty weird mishmash of a show; not entirely sure who the target audience are). I put on a military beret and was given a drum and stood in a line with some proper drummers. I tapped along to a tune (‘World In Union’, based on ‘I Vow To Thee My Country’, itself based on Holst, by all accounts, but I could have that wrong).
Strictly speaking it wasn’t quite what my TYSIC calls for, which is to get my drumming up to a standard where I can play in some sort of band in some sort of live gig; military drumming is more a matter of exceptional stick-twirling and standing there with a moustache, and not being used to either of those disciplines, I probably looked as out of place in the line-up as I did in more general terms on a lowbrow daytime show. Nonetheless, it was drumming on TV, and if nothing else it stands as a statement of percussion intent. Not bad.
Speaking of personal challenges, we come to the other main business of today’s blog, which is the following Comment. Some of you have seen it already. It was left by loyal reader Carl a few days ago:
Hi Mark. I know this comment is a day late, but I hope you get to read it.
My sister and brother-in-law have a gorgeous 3 year old son. In a strange way, he’s the best thing in my life. I love him to bits and they’re incredible parents. There plan was to have 5 or 6 kids. My sister was just made to do it.
Sadly, last Christmas my brother-in-law had testicular cancer. He survived it, but they had to remove a testicle, leaving him unable to have children. Although they have Daniel, which they are incredibly thankful for, it was heartbreaking to see their dreams shatter before my eyes, as they were trying for a kid when they found that he had it.
This has motivated me to do something. I’m scared of heights so I’m going to do a sky dive for a testicular cancer charity. After reading this blog, I reckon you should do it with me! The money we could raise would be substantially higher and you get to realise one of your dreams. I don’t mind sorting it out, and I’m happy to up the ante and doing it in my pants or whatever.
So.
Obviously, this isn’t the type of thing you take on lightly.
It’s clearly a great cause and I’m always looking for a chance to do something for great causes, since there are so many of them and I have a pretty privileged life. On top of this, the parenthood theme naturally touches a spot pretty close to my heart. And on top of THAT, it is true, I am generally looking to become a better, brighter, more optimistic person, and part of that is achieving things I would have thought beyond me, and quite high on the (long) list of those things is, well, skydiving. As I said before, I don’t even like fairground rides. I take a bit of persuading to go on a carousel. If I am in a plane, my number one priority is normally to stay in it. I pretty much go all out to avoid leaping from it. I would go so far as to say my main criterion for a successful plane trip is not to fall out of it at any point.
So all this makes it all the more potentially impressive as a challenge. But also, of course, it makes it more frightening. The thought of it is deeply unpleasant. I mean, I’d really hate to do it.
But then, Carl himself is scared of heights, so it’s not like some kind of extreme sports fanatic trying to rope me in. It’s someone, in the spirit of TYSIC, addressing and conquering his terror in the name of good. This lays down a gauntlet to me. And I’m not even specifically scared of heights (the way I am of lightning, or those really big snakes you get). I’m just scared of hurtling from them.
Er. So, I’m going to weigh this up and see if I can make myself do it. And feel free to share your views, but I’ve got a feeling I know what they might be.
Right. Keep applying for Emergency Blogging positions. Not sure how many we’ll need, as I am trying to get this function to work where I can pre-write them and have them appear by magic while I’m away. But we will need some. Also, did someone have a question about whether I always wanted to be a comedian? It was a student. I’m going to try and do a round-up of readers’ queries before I leave for the holiday. Can you re-post it? Thank you. And if anyone else has a question, first comment or otherwise, feel free to hit me. With them.
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on July 12, 2010
Carl!!!
Hiya! Since September 2009 I’ve been doing different events to raise money for Limerick Animal Welfare.. In September I roped a few friends in and we had a school car wash, raising 95 euro in total.
In October, I ran the Women’s Mini Marathon here in Limerick, Ireland.. raising 60 euro.
And with massive commitment from my friends and teachers in school, I organised a 2 day fun-day in school, including a bake sale, teacher dodgeball (I got 5 teachers to stand against a wall and got students to pay money to throw dodgeballs at them) and also a basketball match, 1 on 1 against a basketball fanatic teacher.
In total, I raised 620 euro. This money, entitles me to a sky dive plus the money goes to Limerick Animal Welfare.
I’ve booked the jump for tomorrow, and if the weather stays calm, I’ll be jumping at 6pm at 10,000 feet. AWESOME!!
(But then again, I’m not afraid of heights, but I imagine it will be the most exhilerrating thing I ever do… unless I go swimming with sharks or something)
Posted by David Calder on July 11, 2010
DO IT!
Posted by Someone on July 8, 2010
Ooh okay also, I did ask a question in maybe the blog before this BUT I have a better question that it’d be awesome if you could tackle, which is, how does ‘one’ know if ‘one’ has what it takes to be a writer for a living? (not a doctor as I just wrote… interesting…). Obviously one would understand writers have to do all sorts of journalism and whatnot to make it a sustainable career… but how do/does you/one know if they’re any good?
Thanks! Although I don’t know if you’ll read this now because of imminent holidaying and what with it being a blog of the past. But perhaps I shall try again in the future if not :].
Posted by Rachael on July 8, 2010
Seeing you channel 4 next to Brian Dowling and Tony Christie was almost as weird as being on it must have been, very amusing though!
I hate heights too so I think that what Carl is doing is amazing, I know I couldn’t do it so I have huge respect for anyone that does, especially when its for a cause. Having said that I would be a huge hypocrite if I told Mark to do it now but…
Posted by Anji on July 8, 2010
Jumping out OF a plane, is what I couldn’t comment on. *sigh*
Posted by Anji on July 8, 2010
I caught you yesterday on channel 4 1 as I *cough* fell asleep on the sofa *cough* and missed the actual show. Was gutted for a second and then remembered the point of sky! Well done!
Jumping out if a plane – I couldn’t possibly say either way that’s up to you. But, what about some kind if gig to raise money. You could front it and possibly even get your drumming TYSIC sorted and maybe some of the other acts could be from here, those wanting to try out comedy, playing in a band etc.
Just a thought, I know it would take a shed load to sort and stuff so maybe once your done touring and stuff, after all I guess we have almost 10 years to do it.
OK I’ll stop throwing random ideas around now.
Posted by Carl on July 8, 2010
Forgot to say I’m available as an emergency blogger, but then I don’t want to be asking for too much!
Posted by Tom Beasley on July 8, 2010
The skydiving thing sounds like an excellent opportunity for you Mark and I’m sure that you could raise a hell of a lot of money and I would be more than willing to contribute.
In less serious news, I would love to be an emergency blogger. You know from the Eleven competition that I have loads of writing experience and I’ve blogged for quite some time for myself, so I have a fair amount of experience there. I’m also currently in the midst of my summer holidays so I have tonnes of spare time for blogging.
Posted by Dan on July 8, 2010
That TV show sounds a very bizarre experience but at least you got to drum.
Mark I think you should go sky-diving with Carl. Not that my opinion counts for much. If you end up saying no then I could imagine the regret you would feel about not doing it and I am pretty sure it would be an unforgettable experience.
Oh, I am avalible to be hired as an emergency blogger if required. I’ve been writing a blog of my own for some time now so that’s the experience box ticked.
Posted by amycool on July 8, 2010
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
I’m joking of course, it’s entirely up to you.
I shall be doing a smaller jump today at Go Ape and lots of zip wires, so I’ll see how scary they are and then consider whether I would be able to do a sky dive. I have a morbid urge to jump off things quite often so I think it would be okay.
I know a few people who merely used charity in order to make their dream of sky diving come true, but to do it entirely for the charity would be much more commendable and would no doubt bring in considerable amounts of money. So well done Carl for making that decision. Plus, tandem dives seem a lot more relaxing because you don’t have to put the parachute up yourself, so I imagine it would be lots of fun.
Posted by LisaD on July 8, 2010
…Eesh. I think Carl is an incredible guy and I think you’re amazing for even considering this. Assuming of course that safety will come first (on account of you being somebody’s father now) but the cause is righteous and I say go for it. My mother’s favorite cousin was a skydiver, jumped off of anything at any opportunity. She died when I was tiny…when she was killed by a serial killer in a public bathroom. my point is not to avoid public bathrooms (though I tend to) but that it is impossible to know what the future hold. Maggie was not the sort to let her fear rule her choices and she continues to inspire my family
Posted by Misha on July 8, 2010
I had two jabs today, the mental equivalent of jumping out of a plane. So if I can do that (albeit pinned down by dads gf a nurse and a doctor) I’d say you should consider trying. I’ve also volunteered to come and catch you both/lend moral support if it works. So there.
Oh and if the need arises i’ll happily emergency blog (on top of picnic blogging) but i’m only near an internet for definte monday to friday next week.
And in a final part. I did ask if you had a comedy “uniform” eg certain teeshirts that are only worn to gigs, on the telly etc. Which i’ll be honest is a weird and probably quite tedious question.
Posted by Britt on July 8, 2010
By entertaining this idea on the blog, I think that you may have (subconsciously, even) already made your decision.
If you’re absolutely petrified of the thought, to the point that even thinking about it almost causes a panic attack, then don’t do it.
But, if you think you could do it, even if it’s a little scary, then think about everything you’d be achieving, at the same time as having one of the most exhilarating experiences of your life, you’d also be raising money for an amazing cause (and one that hits me a little close to home). Go on, Mark, do it. But keep your trousers on.
Posted by Rick Procter on July 8, 2010
Yep, you sure know what I think about the skydive dood – nuff said.
Posted by Madeleine on July 8, 2010
I would rather sell everything I own and then give that money to charity then skydive. It is one of the only things I can say I truly would never do (I’m not scare of heights butI’m a bit prone to panic attacks so really I’m more scared of the scene I’d make in the plane then the actual dive) . On the other hand, I know many people who have done it (one when she was 14) and by all accounts it’s one of the most amazing experiences you can have. So I’m going to be hipocritical and say go for it!
Posted by Shelley Ell on July 8, 2010
Hi Mark, I’m new here!
Just read your comment about the skydiving and wanted to say GO FOR IT! One of my lifes ambitions is to do a skydive. Whilst travelling in New Zealand I signed up to do one, but unfortunately the weather was bad so it was called off. I had got to the point of being measured up for the harness/weighed etc so was pretty disappointed!
On the down side, on the way to the ‘launch site’ (or whatever it’s called) They picked you up in their company van, and the song playing on the radio was ‘Going down in a blaze of glory’ which made me slightly uncomfortable!
I hope you manage to do this, even if you hate it, think of how proud you’ll feel of yourself! Just don’t get like that Blue Peter presenter (Can’t remember his name – Simon something?) who did a skydive then talked of nothing else, i.e
SIMON’S COLLEAGUE – “What have you got for lunch Simon?”
SIMON – “oh just a cheese sandwich. Say, I wouldn’t be able to eat this if I was skydiving you know! Did I mention I went skydiving?”…etc etc
well good lukc and sorry about the randomness of this message but hey, it is nearly 2:30am!
Posted by Ally on July 8, 2010
I would say ‘go for it!’ in regards to the sky diving, but I have a rule about me not being allowed to tell people to do something if I wouldn’t do it. So, I would never go sky diving, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
This makes me feel like I should seriously get started on my TYSIC…. I foresee a lot of writing in my immediate future!
Posted by Someone on July 8, 2010
Do it, do it, do it. It’d be a tandem jump right? … Then do it :].
My dad always said to my brother, who kind of likes to push the boundaries every now again, things like “Don’t get a tattoo!” or “Don’t sky-dive!” so when my brother went around the world he came back with a tape and sat my dad down without explanation so that he then watched as his son jumped out of a plane before his very eyes, and had no way of stopping him (he foolishly owns no tardis). I’m sure you’d probably let your wife know before hand really, but you could scare someone! Or show it to Kit when he’s older and surprise him with how ‘rad’ you once were before you had to implement curfews (Joking, joking! You’ll be the coolest obviously.) Um, so yeah. Why not, really? But also, take a leaf out of Horne’s book… don’t die. In fact I’m pretty sure he would’nt even consider such a dangerous leap, but I suppose he might goad you on as part of dirty tactics towards competition. Oh that boy; have a word, I would. Off-topic. Shush now.
Posted by Lukey on July 8, 2010
This is an odd one… Could you please talk about your appearance on time trumpet. I loved that series and found it very funny, I recently went on the website and realised you were part of it. And as it’s a few years ago (before you had you’re beard) I didn’t remember you on it. I basically just remember shots of tesco robots taking over the world. On the clip on the website you talk about how they built tescos on top of sainsburys. This Is random, but I’d love u to talk about it.
And yes jump out of the plane what’s the worst that could happen… (don’t answer that)
Posted by Aislinn on July 8, 2010
I had a ‘first comment’ question from a week or so back where I basically rambled on about how I loved We Need Answers and my favourite one was the one with Germaine Greer but what was the funnest one to film?
It’s quite trivial. Sorry.
I’m going to bed now because I have to be up at 8am tomorrow for my sponsored MNDA walk. (Which, incidentally, I want to thank you for, because the woman that runs Patrick the Incurable Optimist’s website with him e-mailed me to tell me he’s heard about the idea and thinks it’s brilliant. It’s made me feel like I’ve done something to make a difference for once, and it’s incredible. So I’d definitely suggest doing the sky dive, as otherwise you’ll forever be wondering whether you should have done it. And I bet you’ll feel great afterwards.)
Posted by Adam on July 7, 2010
Hey Mark,
Firstly, I really cannot recommend sky diving highly enough to you. I guess it’s slightly different as I have no fear of heights etc. but I promise you that if you do it, you will enjoy it. The hard part will be the whole jumping out of the plane malarky, but you’re attached to your intstructor so thats taken out of your control. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done. My girlfriend is terrified of planes and heights and absolutely loved it (after the initial terror of course). Carl, thats a top thing to do for someone so hats off to ya.
Secondly, do you think there is space on football commentary for comedians or people who view the game more light-heartedly? I know you’ve said before you wanted to be a commentator, and Chris Moyles has done a sort of comedy commentary for some of the games on the BBC, so what do you think? Sorry for always asking football questions, I’m aware some of the fellow readers despise it, but I’d like to hear your thoughts.
Ta
Posted by Heather on July 7, 2010
I was flicking channels, and then I saw you on that Vernon Kay thingy, so stopped to watch purely for that very reason. I have to say the programme was dire and were it not for your baffled-looking face while that Big Brother guy and Tony Christie were wittering on, and Vernon was being his exceedingly irritating self, I would have probably died of boredom. Or just switched it off, I guess. Anyway. I guess what I am trying to say is, you’re awesome. And those guys aren’t. Yeah. Okay. Bye.
Posted by Jonty Larr on July 7, 2010
Posted a few blogs ago with a question, but it was totally out of place really, so I’ll repeat here. I came to know of you from the excellent Time Trumpet, and wondered whether the talking head bits were improvised, written by yourselves, or entirely scripted by Ianucci et al?
Posted by Nuala on July 7, 2010
I managed to give myself a fear of heights when I was 18, by going onto the roof of the 21 storey building I was living in at the time. So, personally, I would give a sizeable donation to the cause. My big brother did the whole jumping out of planes thing till the accident that left him blind-although that was a tree that fell on him, rather than the other way round.
Posted by LaurenJ on July 7, 2010
Uh sorry just realised that my comment had quite a few mistakes, please be forgiving it’s painful enough to type on a iPod, let alone with a broken thumb (freak table tennis accident. Yes really.)
But I just remembered I have a question perhaps you could help with. I read that you did English at uni. I’m currently trying to decide what course to choose at uni (I have about just over a month to decide and it’s driving me mad!) I want to do English but cannot decide between a course that focuses more on linguistics or literature, I like them both equally! What was your course like? Anyone else having similar problems or have any advice/recommendations?
Posted by Carl on July 7, 2010
Hi everyone.
Firstly, thank you, Mark, for even considering it. And secondly, thanks for all the comments this far from you lovely group of people.
What I love about this community is everyone shares their opinions in a well thought out manner. I’ve carefully read each one and appreciate every point.
I feel I must say though, please don’t think I’m pressurizing you, Mark. That was not
my intention. I got an information pack about doing it 2 weeks ago, so when I saw your blog saying you wanted to do one, I thought ‘why not combine the two?’. But I fully understand your commitments, both personally and professionally.
Like I said, thanks for thinking about it, and if it works out, I will do all the logistical stuff (and bring you a cake), you’d just have to turn up.
Ooh, also thanks to Corey for your post. Whatever happens, I may be coming to you to speak to your friend!!
Thanks everyone, you always make me feel
warm and fuzzy. x
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on July 7, 2010
DO IT MARK, IT’LL BE AWESOME.
But then that’s me… still, DO IT.
Also, I’d love to be an Emergency Blogger. It’d make my life complete (too much?) if you let me do it. You could argue that the fact that I’ve let my own blogs get a bit overgrown means I’m untrustworthy but…. I don’t.. think.. so…
BUT YEAH! Hire me please.
Posted by Hannah Mae on July 7, 2010
I was the question-bearing student! Yes, the gist was basically ‘what did you want to do with your life when you were at university/did you always know you wanted to be a comedian?’ It was essentially born out of the recent onset of panic that I’m halfway through an English degree at Bristol uni and have no idea what I’m going to do with it. Particularly interested because I think you’re an English graduate – I habour all these half-developed pipe dreams of being a famous playwright or something grandiose, but as I come closer to graduating it seems all the more unlikely and I wonder whether it’d be more sensible to cave into the pressure of getting a ‘normal’ job. Just wondered whether this ever occurred to you and what made you persevere with comedy.
Also, I think you and Carl are heroes for even considering the skydive. Were I in that situation, I know I’d say no almost automatically. Which is bad, and something I should work on.
Posted by Heather Jones on July 7, 2010
Hmmm. Not sure about the sky-diving. My sons have both done it – but they’re young and they knew they’d enjoy it.: raising a bit of money for charity was just a way of getting to do it, in their case. My older son also climbed Kilimanjaro last year – and raised quite a bit of money for UNICEF – again, that was something he wanted to do and enjoyed anyway. Neither of these are things I will ever do.
So, unless you REALLY want to do skydiving, why not think of something else that would be a challenge but enjoyable in some way AND worth getting sponsored for – and raise money for the charity in question that way instead.
No point in telling yourself ‘oh, I really ‘ought’ to do this.’ Go with your gut feeling.
No offence to Carl, by the way, but I don’t want you to feel you’re getting painted into a corner and can’t say no.
Posted by hornseygirl on July 7, 2010
The 5 o’ Clock Show was rather eclectic; great you got a chance to plug your new book. I am looking forward to reading it.
I am such a cautious, risk-averse individual, so perhaps not best placed to comment here!
The only observations I would make are:
1) This is a decision that only you should make, in consultation with your nearest and dearest.
2) Your decision should not be influenced by the feeling that you’re being pressurised. If the very core of your being tells you that you should stick to terra firma, then you should not be afraid to go with your fundamental instinct.
3) If you feel able, physically and psychologically, to do this, then GO FOR IT! I imagine it would be the most amazing adrenaline-fuelled rush and for a great cause too.
Posted by Catherine on July 7, 2010
If you were my child, I would prefer to not know about it until afterward, when you were safe and sound and on the ground. If you were really my kid, I would beg and beg you not to do it. However, I know my (real) children will do as they see fit for themselves, even if it is not safe.
So if you want to do it, bless. At least it’s not bungee jumping.
That being said, do please keep your pants on. Also, a video must be made of the entire operation.
Good luck to you and Carl.
From not your real mum,
Cathy
Posted by Kathryn on July 7, 2010
I would never do a sky dive. I get scared of heights just looking at an edge. Anything higher than me is potentially dangerous, and I’m only 5 ft 3 so that’s quite a lot of things. It would be like that falling sensation you get when you’re half asleep, except real.
I think you should do it though, in the name of TYSIC. Not to pressure/guilt trip/ emotionally blackmail you into it, but still.
Posted by LaurenJ on July 7, 2010
First of all good on you carl,what a fantastic gesture to make for your sister and brother in law. And mark, don’t want to push you either way but after doing something that scares you it is such a good feeling afterwards, it was an amazing feeling after I did a 100 ft zip-wire (although there is a part of me that thinks why do you have to to through so much fear to make. you feel good,why can’t y’know just eat some cake?)
Posted by ChrisP (ollington) on July 7, 2010
Who do you dislike being compared to? I’ve noticed that a lot of comedians seem to really resent any Bill Hicks comparisons in particular, but feel free to take the question in other contexts.
Posted by Corey on July 7, 2010
Carl, great great thing you are doing. Don’t know if it helps but I know somebody who does loads of these things and may be able to help getting you in somewhere to do it at a discount …….so all the more for charity?
Mark, I’d say do it, but I love stuff like that. The view is great, the sense of speed is great and its highly addictive. BUT, if the thought of dangling out of a plane with nothing but a man with a big carrier bag attached to you doesn’t appeal to you maybe you shouldn’t. You will be more nervous than ever before, but if you did it maybe you’ll never be nervous again!?!
Question: Its more of a Ask Watson type problem again but:
A good friend of mine is getting married later this year, and SHE has asked me to be her best man….bit weird but I agreed as its an honour to be asked. The problem is slightly TYSIC related as I wanted to try something about making it comedy and I think the comedy course I’m starting in London is on the same day as the wedding, making it impossible to do both.
I’m not getting any younger and if I keep missing opportunities I won’t forgive myself, but I don’t want to let her down. Plus she’ll be mad. If anyone can offer sound advice, as last time, I’m listening.
Jump out the plane Mark
Posted by MusicalLottie on July 7, 2010
Oh. Wow. The fact you are even considering this is amazing! Of course if you go for it you can be guaranteed the experience of a lifetime, and an incomparable sense of achievement. However I don’t think that anybody could fault you if you decided against it!
We await with bated breath to hear your decision …
(Actually I might asphyxiate myself so if you don’t mind I think I’ll not hold my breath. Oh this comment sounds so strange!)
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on July 7, 2010
Wow, I’m a silly person and would go for a sky dive straight away if anyone asked! This is where a list will definitely come in handy.
Maybe if you decide against the sky dive you can do something a little closer to comfort zone to help raise money? (but still something a bit scary)
Either way I’m sure we’ll all happily donate to aid Carl in his dive.
rachx
Posted by Iona on July 7, 2010
That actually was first comment! That made my day. No joke. And I feel I should ask a deep question but all I’ve got is “what are comedians like in real life?” or “tell us about your comedian friends” or something equally lame.
On a kinda related note I think one of my friends (well facebook friends) is on vernon kaye’s show on Friday doing tap… Though he’s an arrogant twat so I probably won’t watch it.
And I think that skydiving thing sounds great and you should do it. But equally I would still be a watsonian if you didn’t so it’s up to you
Posted by Hal on July 7, 2010
Do it Mark, Good cause, good motivation….but please both of you, keep your trousers on.
Posted by Alex on July 7, 2010
Typing fail. Should say it will elevate YOU
Posted by Alex on July 7, 2010
I am not going to try and persuade you either way, but if you manage to do this it will (in my eyes) elevate from ‘hero’ to ‘minor deity’. There’s not a lot of things I can 100% promise you I will never ever do, but sky-diving is definitely one of them.
Carl- you are a legend.
Posted by Iona on July 7, 2010
First comment?