Your questions answered
Hello. Two people have asked questions recently, in Comments, which I thought were particularly deserving of a response. With the pressures of numerous TV appearances (all, admittedly, very small fry next to my friend Minchin on Jonathan Ross tonight; he played me his song on his iPhone – you’re in for a treat), the World Cup, Wimbledon, the baby and the stifling heat making this quite a tricky day, I thought I’d tackle these questions rather than scour the empty barrel of my imagination for a new topic. I do have some topics ready to talk about, as I hinted teasingly last night, but I’ll wait til I can do them justice. Do feel free to ask any more questions. It’s very helpful for me as it gives me momentum to write about stuff, and also the nice feeling that someone actually asked for it. This is to be seen as a kind of sister edition of Can I Help You? Can I Inform You, if you like. So…
Wow, I actually managed to get the first comment! In that case… Mark, you are, I imagine, doing what you love to do – as a successful comedian who quite often appears on TV. For a lot of people, probably including yourself, that would be a dream come true. I’d be interested to know if you have any other dreams which you never had the chance to fulfil, or better, still aim to fulfil (aside from your TYSICs).
It’s quite instructive to be asked this, because as you’ll know if you often read this blog, I tend to make a great big song and dance of the ways in which I haven’t managed to live up to various ambitions. It is nice to be reminded of what I often try to remind myself: that I’m currently living a life which far exceeded what I thought I could realistically manage, when I was, say, 18.
But, yes, there are still all sorts of things I want to do, both professionally and personally. Professionally, I still yearn to be a proper author with books that people read. I feel I’m capable of writing books much better than the three I’ve done so far, and maybe then I would be regarded as a bona fide writer, rather than a stand-up comic who happens to have dashed off a couple of novels. With a bit of luck the new book (Eleven) will be a step towards this. This isn’t really an ego-based, ‘I-want-to-be-Ian-McEwan’ type ambition – I’m genuinely not after great big posters in tube stations, or literary prizes – but I do want to feel I’ve done myself justice in the area of work where the biggest chunk of my heart lies. It takes a long time to become a good writer. I want to keep getting there. In the same way, I don’t yearn to become a Michael McIntyre-size star, or even a Minchinesque rock god, but I do want to feel I’ve got to the top level I possibly could. I think most of my professional ambitions boil down to that. Being the best I realistically could. Much of my career is spent trying to work out what that ‘best’ is, and beating myself up for not getting there. But that’s what I’m trying to change.
On a personal level, away from TYSIC stuff like being more optimistic and being a nicer person and drinking less and so on, there are many small dreams I’m hoping to fulfil. I’d like to do more Brave Things like bungee-jumping or skydiving, just so I can have the experience of challenging myself and winning out against my fears. I mean, I’ve never even been to Alton Towers. I’d like to spend some time doing work in the developing world at some point. I want to go to the Ashes and to the football and rugby World Cups. I want to live in Australia eventually. And in the near future it would be great to just sit down and eat a Fruit Corner without anyone interrupting me. I’ll let you know how all this goes.
I want to pose a question. As I’ve mentioned above, I have a baby girl. For a while now I’ve been thinking about writing her a letter in the event that, due to any unforeseen event, I am no longer about. I suppose such a letter might tell her what she means to me; pass on some advice etc. Given that you’re acutely aware of the competing forces of optimism and pessimism, do you think this an act of optimism, pessimism or something entirely different?
Something entirely different probably. I think writing a letter to cover the possible event of your death isn’t pessimistic, any more than making a Will is pessimistic. It would be pessimistic if you said ‘right, well I’m definitely going to die soon, let’s put something down on paper’, without any genuine grounds for such a thought. As you know, I myself own a tiny boy, and it has crossed my mind to do something similar. The thought that your baby could grow up into a man or woman and not know who you were, is pretty ghastly. Trying to combat this possibility isn’t being unduly pessimistic. You could almost argue that it’s optimistic because it involves trying to make something positive out of the terrifiying mutability of life.
Anyway, much as I’m trying to be more of an optimist, there’s no denying that some degree of negativity is important in life. It’s no use being in denial about scary things like the fact anyone can die any time. You shouldn’t let fear of this shape your decisions, but it’s better to front up to it than to deny it, as most people do.
So if you do write such a letter I would back your decision. Hey, with any luck she’ll never have to read it. And also, the process of writing will probably open you up to some things you didn’t know about yourself. But I’m sounding uncomfortably close to a self-help book here. When really I’m just a tired, rambling man. Goodnight.
Posted by James on December 1, 2010
Hi Mark,
I’ve gone back to an earlier blog so it doesn’t look like I’m vying for attention. I’m writing on behalf of a friend of mine.
The other night I was out in a certain northern city with my friend and some guy came up to us and told my friend a girl fancied him. Naturally he got very excited and commenced cross-room flirting. As the night progressed I managed to convince him enough to go talk to this girl.
Anyway, it turned out that this guy was seeing the girl and was just trying to get my friend to ask her out to see him get rejected. Now it’s not so much his blatant arrogance and his ignorance of other people’s feelings that annoys me, but the fact that the whole night he was surrounded by friends.
It’s really hit him hard. He’s new to the city and he’s a lovely guy, but he’s spending most days sleeping and seems to have disconnected from anything. Last time I talked to him he mentioned something about wanting help so now I’m worried, but I don’t want to phone some help thing cause I don’t think it’ll lead anywhere or likely cause more problems, any advice appreciated,
Thanks,
James
p.s. I realise you’re just a comedian and this problem is quite big, but you talk about coming over self-esteem/sadness in your show so thought I’d try.
Posted by Carl on July 4, 2010
Hi Mark. I know this comment is a day late, but I hope you get to read it.
My sister and brother-in-law have a gorgeos 3 year old son. In a strange way, he’s the best thing in my life. I love him to bits and they’re incredible parents. There plan was to have 5 or 6 kids. My sister was just made to do it.
Sadly, last Christmas my brother-in-law had testicular cancer. He survived it, but they had to remove a testicle, leaving him unable to have children. Although they have Daniel, which they are incredibly thankful for, it was heartbreaking to see their dreams shatter before
my eyes, as they were trying for a kid when they found that he had it.
This has motivated me to do something. I’m scared of heights so I’m going to do a sky dive for a testicular cancer charity. After readig this blog, I reckon you should do it with me! The money we could raise would be substantially higher and you get to realise one of your dreams. I don’t mind sorting it out, and I’m happy to up the anti and doing it in my pants or whatever.
If you’re interested, tweet me @CarlBurktwit or email at carl_burkitt@hotmail.com.
Cheers mate.
Posted by Sarah on July 3, 2010
Thanks so much, Mark, for answering my question! This is gonna be my claim to fame now
It’s nice to know that the things you still hope to do with your life are kind of “normal” things. Your feet are totally on the ground despite your success. Speaking of which, I just caught up on SUFTW. Very funny! It’s a shame you weren’t on it for longer.
Posted by Rachael on July 3, 2010
I think that the letter writing is a good idea, I left a note somewhere around here for people to find if they ever have to clear my stuff out because i’m not around anymore.
Posted by ChrisP on July 3, 2010
Actually…. despite the fact I have just maxed out your monthly download limit with that post… Mark, do you still do environmental campaigning stuff like you used to with the Crap At The Environment thing; I seem to remember you cutting as much carbon emissions from your life as possible, is this still continued with your recent globe trotting?
I’m a self confessed eco hippy, driver, consumerist, global traveller (complete hypocrite?)… etc personally and very familiar with departure lounges and motorways myself so I was just curious what your take on all this is. You clearly think very carefully about just about these kind of moral issues. Obviously I’m not making any accusations here I’m just intrigued how you deal with these kinds of conflicts.
Rich Hall had a pop at your friend Al Gore on SUFTW last night too, you too should have a Eco/Comedy show down!
Posted by ChrisP on July 3, 2010
Alex- Doing a review shouldn’t be too hard at all. You’ve already started with point b) in your second paragraph of your first comment… see! Good structure guidelines from Kate W too, best to have a look at other book reviews in newspapers or whatever; I always listen to the Radio 5Live film reviews mainly for the entertainment factor and partly as I love films, but a good place to start for adding a bit of style/structure to the review; it’s best not too be too formulaic. Also, enjoy writing it and we will be much more likely to enjoy reading it so have a bit of fun.
I think quite a few people will be writing a review of the book. I will be buying it whatever the outcome of these reviews, I’m guessing they will all be raving about it but I would be very interested to read criticisms of it. What bits is Mark not so good at? I know it’s his blog but as a critic you’ve got to be true to your own instincts (and as I writer I would assume he would value the feedback, Mark?).
Extreme Ironing! I’ve heard of that it looks great fun! I love roller coasters and all that. I’ve not been to any of the UK ones but Disneyland is the mutts nuts. If you go on the scary looking ride expecting to have fun, you will have fun. if you go on expecting to be scared, well it’s very self fulfilling really. So if you do go on one, anybody… it’s just a ride! (and a health and safety approved ride at that). You will be fine, enjoy it and scream lots.
SUFTW was great, much better than MTW, liked the other comedians too.
Maaark- Being the best you realistically could will never be achieved as your perception of where you should be will constantly change as you get more and more successful. You probably already are where you wanted to be not so long ago, you have just moved your own goalposts with success. This is normal, of course you want to become better and better but you write more on here about your shortcomings much more than the immense back catalog of success. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
On the subject of the letter, I am lucky enough to have both of my parents still with me. If for whatever reason, one of them wasn’t it would be nice to have something to remember them by, although you have to remember that children of any age (I’m 20) will never react well to any advice given by parents, it’s just how child/parent relationships work (and I get on very well with mine). Remember that there will be other members of your family around so she would always know who you are what you were/are like; I know loads about my grandfather even though he passed on when I was very little. Watches seem to be there memento of choice in my family, although a written letter would no doubt be treasured in that situation. That’s an ex child’s point of view for you anyway.
Most importantly you’re realistically not going to die anyway, most people live long and happy lives and if your days are numbered you would want to be spending more time with here anyway! So enjoy it while you still can
.
Hannah Mae seems to be in the same situation as me (except I’m not doing English). Whooo! Lucky us.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on July 3, 2010
Re letter writing: I think it’s a lovely idea and not pessimistic or optimistic. Someone my mum works with got told she didn’t have long left so she went out and got her daughter lots of different bits and bobs ready for when she was older. It’s something I’d hate to do myself but if I was the daugher I’d think it would be a very lovely thing to have when older.
Alton towers is fun and I’d love to do more thrill-seeking things just to see how far I can push myself and see how much I can trust people/inanimate objects
rach
Posted by Alex on July 3, 2010
Kate W- thank you! I meant physically where to go and what buttons to press, but to be honest the tips on what to write will probably come in handy too. Thanks again!
Posted by Aislinn on July 3, 2010
I enjoyed your SUFTW (mainly because you did the Hiroshima joke, which was the one I was very vaguely getting at on the other blog).
On a rather shameful note, can I just point this out to anyone who might’ve read Mark’s blog about Patrick the Optimist?
http://www.justgiving.co.uk/aislinnwalks22miles
It sort of explains everything on that page, but to get as much help (well, donations) as possible would be far beyond brilliant. Pretty please. Thank-you.
Posted by Madeleine on July 3, 2010
Right, I’m going to make a more concerned effort to dig up one of your books. I have looked, but not hard enough.
Wimbledon. Sigh. Soccer and tennis are the only two sports I care about, but I care about them A LOT and this year everyone I’ve been going for seems to keep loosing (*cough* DJOKOVIC WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS FAIL ME *cough*). I think I’ve voiced my anti-nadal opinions before, but I desperatly want to squash his little face (I don’t know why, he seems nice enough). If Argentina loose to Germany tonight I may have some kind of rage stroke. I will definatly do a lot of angry, sweary tweeting.
Do move to Australia, it’ll improve my where’s Watson points potential if nothing else.
Posted by Lydia on July 3, 2010
I think that the letter writing thing is a really interesting. I never even thought about that before. I mean, I’m seventeen so kids aren’t exactly on my mind right now but I still think it’s a really good idea. I almost want to write one now for my mum in case I leave the house after we argued or something then die. If everyone had a In Case I Die letter so many people would feel so much less guilty.
I only really found out about you and what you do recently, so I’m a bit behind on everything but your books are definitely added to my list of books for this summer. I’m really looking forward to reading them.
Posted by Anji on July 3, 2010
Alton towers – I go and don’t go on anything. I am the bag holder! The rides just don’t get me wanting to hang upside down or fall straight down. I think just not going would be better. But I enjoy watching and everyone needs a good bag holder. Right?!
Posted by JontyLarr on July 3, 2010
I have a question which has always intrigued me. I came to know of you from the fantastic programme Time Trumpet, and I’ve always wondered whether the talking head bits that you and the others did were improvised, written by yourselves or scripted?
Posted by Sue on July 3, 2010
“I’d like to do more Brave Things like bungee-jumping or skydiving, just so I can have the experience of challenging myself and winning out against my fears.”
I had the same thought recently when I saw a FB page about extreme ironing, but I quickly dismissed it as I’m too much of a wuss. I wrote about it on my blog.
http://growingupoptional.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/extreme-sport/
As for moving to Australia, I moved from Bristol to Brisbane in 1988, I can recommend it.
Posted by Kate W on July 3, 2010
Haven’t been able to see Stand Up For The Week yet, but am delighted to hear the Hiroshimi, Nagasaki joke featured in it – I love that story immoderately. I hope an uninterrupted Fruit Corner’s heading your way shortly.
Potentially letter-writing mum, I think you should. As someone else has said, it would be fascinating to read something your parents wrote to you 20 years ago; if for any reason you’re not around, it becomes a more important thing for your daughter to have. And actually writing it should be quite an interesting exercise.
Alex – do you mean you’re not sure how to write a review, or you don’t know what to do with it having written it? Re the latter, I think Amazon would probably be a good place to start: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eleven-Mark-Watson/dp/1847379680/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278116082&sr=1-1 (It doesn’t have a Review button yet, I think because the book’s still on pre-order, but it does have an option to Start a Discussion – should be fine.) Re writing a review, a basic structure is 1. what the book’s about (briefly and without giving all the plot away!), who it might appeal to and an indication of what you thought of it 2. things that were particularly ggod/bad/noteworthy – could be the characters, the theme, a good bit of dialogue – whatever struck you 3. summary in a paragraph of what you thought of it and why other people should/shouldn’t read it.
Posted by Someone on July 3, 2010
You were the ‘special guest’ on SUFTW then eh? That’s a pretty good title to have amongst the other ‘average’ guests that I had to sit through. Gah at leaving you ’til t’end. I thought you were definitely the best of the night. Made me laugh most, and my housemate too!
) Must stop ‘blowing smoke…’ as you know they say. G’night.
Also, even though I thought you were best stand up on the bill (and asidely I absolutely dislike Paddy Kielty), I always think of you as more of a writer, and prefer your writing! (if that’s not rude to say, it’s not meant to be because I love your shows and projects. So really it’s a great compliment (if i do say so…).) But I think you’re awesome and you must keep at it
Posted by Meg on July 3, 2010
Turns out my brother’s computer died the moment you walked on stage. Typical. So I still haven’t seen you, having watched the whole show waiting for your bit. Grr. I hope C4 put it up on 4OD. Otherwise I will be even more annoyed than I am now. Which is very. Hmmm. Oh well, time for bed now. I’ll see it tomorrow hopefully.
Posted by Alex on July 3, 2010
I read your books. And I love them. And I really want to review Eleven, especially since you gave it to me for free. But I don’t know how (because I’m stupid, probably). How do I do it? Anyone?
I did send you a tweet the other day asking how to review it and apologising for being shit for not doing it before. I don’t know if you didn’t read it/forgot about it/whatever but I would really like to be able to review, because a) it was one of the prerequisites of entering the competition, and b) I really did love it.
Anyway, if anyone knows what I should do I would much appreciate. Ta.
P.S. Don’t bother with Alton Towers unless you are a particularly hardened thrill-seeker who enjoys queuing for three hours at a time, and you can go super off-season. Drayton Manor is where it’s at, it’s better for littlies/moderate thrill-seekers. I used to work there. It was even better then.
Posted by r flanagan on July 3, 2010
NOT RELATED TO BLOG (sorry) SO FEEL FREE TO DELETE
I’m kind of disappointed after seeing you on ‘Standing Up Live at the Koko Club for The Week in Camden’ coz i was there last week and i didnt see the acts properly then and didnt want to. A proper comedian would have made things better. Spent most time trying to fight my way past some very determined girls to see what was happening (then gave up and sat on the floor).
Ah, this is a blog, so posting unrelated comments is pretty pointless and detracts from the points being made – sorry. I wish I had the determination to religiously follow every post here for 10yrs. I know my limitations and long-term commitment isnt one of them (24hrs -36hrs is my limit). I have no idea what I’ll be doing in10yrs if i am still around. Maybe i could set aside time to read this blog right the way through
Haven’t been Alton Towers since being teenager. You and Mrs W (hi Em) have a kid to enjoy that and everything else with in future years. Even if the Macintyre levels of public recognition are higher than a couple of years ago, integrity is pretty good thing to have instead (adverts are an acceptable exception to this).
I guess that what I am tryinge to say is ‘Hello’. See you soon
Posted by Jay on July 3, 2010
Won a bottle of Red Wine tonight at a charity quiz. Then remembered you were on TV. Bloody good night.
Posted by Hannah Mae on July 3, 2010
Ooh, questions. I have a couple.
1) When you were at university, what did you plan to do with your life? Was comedy always your calling and ambition? I’m in my second year of an English degree at Bristol uni and terrified because I know less about what I want to do now than I did when I applied. Particularly curious because I think you did English too. Love the degree but wish it were more vocational sometimes.
2) Do you have any heroes? Comedy or otherwise.
As for the letter, I think she should go for it. Morbidity aside, it’d be kind of nice for the child to read in the future even if their mum is still around. I’d love to read something my parents wrote for me 20 years ago, when I was still a baby.
Posted by Alice on July 3, 2010
Good show, well worth the hour-long trek finding somewhere to top up the electric meter still open after 8pm in Southmead (turns out Southmead thinks it’s a kind of modern day Brigadoon without the charm). Having the lights back on was merely the icing on the comedy cake.
I’d forgotten about ‘minge of steel’, quite relieved my housemates missed me cackling happily at the tv.
More please!
Posted by Misha on July 3, 2010
Something which just occured to me. Which is a question (of little depth or importance)
Do you have a stand up “uniform”? Like certain teeshirts are kept just for gigs. I have things like long shorts which I wear to work because I don’t have a uniform but want to keep my weekends seperate. Just wondered.
Posted by Heather Jones on July 3, 2010
It was good of SUFTW to put you on last, so I could watch Minchin on Wossy and still catch you as well. Excellent stuff, Mr Watson.
Posted by LisaBrunders on July 2, 2010
can’t stop – you’re just coming on telly!
Posted by Meg on July 2, 2010
I’ve never been to Alton Towers either.
I like the letter idea. Hopefully you’ll never have to use it but it might be worth writing it for reassurance. And like Mark said, you may discover new things about yourself while writing it.
Great blog Mark! I am currently watching C4, waiting for you to appear. But I’ve had to borrow one of my brother’s laptops because I am babysitting and their tv isn’t working and the laptop is about to die so I’m hoping it will survive long enough for me to watch you on C4. Argh the tension!
Posted by hornseygirl on July 2, 2010
Mark – thank you and goodnight.
Posted by Meg on July 2, 2010
I’ve never been to Alton Towers either.
I like the idea of the letter. Hopefully you’ll never have to use it but it might be worth writing one to reassure yourself. And like Mark said, you will probably learn some significant things about yourself while writing it.
Great blog Mark! I’m currently watching C4, hoping you will appear soon. But it looks like you’ll be right at the end
oh well, it’ll be worth the wait!
Posted by Ally on July 2, 2010
The idea of writing a letter like that is optimistic in my opinion, for pretty much the same reasons as Mark said. I’m off to find Tim Minchin’s song on youtube.
Posted by Misha on July 2, 2010
Certainly an interesting song. Made me smile.
Oh and for the letter writer, it seems like a lovely idea to me. I can never decide if I feel sorry for my brother or jealous of him. On the one hand he was only 6 and so for him our mum will always just be a vauge happy fuzzy memory. But then he won’t remember her as a person, which is sad.
Hard to know really.
Anyway, that was a needlessly sad comment, i’m watching out for you on the telly box. So I’ll look forward to that, it’ll be nice. And it might make me smile.
(by the way, sorry for an almost incomprehensible comment last blog, leavers do)