Exemplum, exemplum
There is a ‘main act’ and a ‘support act’ in today’s blog, in the parlance of popular music gigs, which I often used to go to before this baby arrived. The support: I wanted to mention a perceptive comment left on the ‘Mock The Week’ thing by Elizabeth, one of the most interesting and provocative among many comment-leavers on this blog. She drew my attention to what Jack Whitehall actually said about ‘special needs’ kids on ‘Mock The Week’ (as you might have guessed, I don’t watch the show, not even when I’m on it). It was, by all accounts, pretty inoffensive and quite clever (look upher Comment to make your own mind up). It doesn’t change my opinion, expressed in that blog, that comedians have to be much more responsible, and that although some of the strictures we now have to abide by because of the Ross/Brand/Sachs-daughter-fucking debacle are stupid, they’re inevitable after the liberties some comics have taken. BUT it is vaulable to be reminded that if you want to judge something someone’s said, it’s useful to know what they actually did say. I’m constantly annoyed when people generalise about my act or comedy in general, so I really ought to know better, even though the argument of the blog still stands (and I did say I didn’t think Jack was as fault). Thanks Elizabeth.
And thanks to everyone who is leaving Comments here. I continue to read them all, every time, even the ones which take a bit of time to appear: it makes my day, every day, which is pretty handy if you think about it. There’ve been quite a lot of new names recently, often people who always read it but don’t normally chip in. I’m still offering the chance to ask a question or dictate the subject of a future blog to the first comment, and tomorrow I will answer just such a question, about my hopes and dreams.
Right.
And now the real thing. The lights are about to go down. Almost everyone is back from the bar and toilets, with only a few fools still trying to get served as the rest of the audience jockeys for position near the front of the stage. Here we go…
As you will know by now, maybe, one of my main aims for the current decade is to become an optimist. Negative thinking has held me back for most of my life. Being optimistic is better morally and practically. Etc, etc. Sorry to keep summarising this and other ongoing strands of the blog, like those ‘previously on The Apprentice’ bits which take up about four minutes of the actual episode – but, happily from my point of view, there are often new readers to consider.
Anyway.
Tonight I’m planning to email the self-professed ‘King of Confidence’ who offered to give me some tips. In the meantime I wanted to draw your attention which I think is genuinely moving and noteworthy and which might inspire, not just anyone else taking on a similar positivity challenge, but anyone trying to achieve something in their lives.
I was in a tube station the other day and saw a poster about Motor Neurone Disease. It turned out to be about a man called Patrick who has this condition and is slowly dying. He’s an artist, and is trying to paint 100 portraits as his powers deteriorate, in the hope of drawing attention to an awful disease. More than that, though, he is documenting all this on a website called Patrick, The Incurable Optimist:
As you’ll appreciate, the ‘incurable’ is kind of a dark pun, but also a brave and amazing one. The shtick of the website is: I have an incurable disease, but my optimism is also incurable, and if we were all ‘incurable optimists’, we would get a lot more done in the world… like making progress against diseases, for example.
On the site you can nominate someone for him to paint; they’re mostly other sufferers of Motor Neurone Disease, or people who’ve helped find ways to fight it, or people who are in other ways inspirational or important to patients of this horrifying illness. Reading the various testimonies, I was moved not too far away from tears, and it’s not easy for a website to do that.
It seems a bit patronising and naive to talk about how ‘brave’ someone is for fighting a disease, when the whole point of the site is to encourage a gung-ho, positive relationship to the subject, but, God, it’s pretty fucking impressive. And although it is also cliched to talk about ‘putting things in perspective’ and ‘wake-up calls’ and so on, there is no denying that I have thought differently about my own efforts since I saw this poster and looked at the site.
Nothing I’ve ever had to deal with has been on a scale remotely comparable to what this man is doing. Of course, in a way you could use that as an excuse for me: optimism has never been demanded of me by such extreme circumstances; who knows what I might be capable of if I had to rise to something that threatened my entire existence. It’s not entirely fair to expect myself to reach such extraordinary levels of human resilience without the provocation of disaster.
But still, I could do better. I don’t need to let minor setbacks get on top of me. I have a better life than 99percent of people who have ever lived. I know all these things perfectly well, but it’s still valuable to be reminded. And y0u couldn’t have a better reminder than this.
Go to the site. You’ll like it.
Posted by Davd Hopkinson on July 1, 2010
Firstly, thank you Mark for blogging about Patrick – I have a personal interest as he is one of my oldest and best friends.
I don’t know how to address a particular comment so it’s author can see it, but I wanted to do this for Britt, who calls herself “a horrible person” because “I’d rather read a blog by a comedian, who isn’t always optimistic or happy, but who seems real and relatable. Optimism scares me.”
Patrick is, an has always been (i.e. before this illness suddenly struck), a very funny and, darkly funny person. He’s always been wonderfully pragmatic, and not cheesey optimistic in the happy-go-lucky (as in Mike Leigh’s film) way. He’s real, he’s relatable.
Please have a look at the incredible cardboard scultpures he made in the 90′s, that I am pretty sure influenced Banksy : http://picasaweb.google.com/coedcaemaenhir/CardboardSculpture#5451032208828831314
And also his strong and startling paintings from the same era, long before the illness struck : http://picasaweb.google.com/coedcaemaenhir/EarlyPaintings#5448168092121046562
But most of all, I’d suggest, don’t paint yourself as a “horrible person”, because of a reaction to an emotional subject, examine it, and be aware that Mark, me or you could all suddenly be struck by this condition whatever your natural disposition – but with more discussion and awareness we are steps closer to understanding it and finding a cure.
Posted by Carol gormley on July 1, 2010
Mnd is hard to live with but patrick is amazing xx
Posted by Becca on July 1, 2010
Mark, I feel I owe you an apology. About a month back, I made my first comment on your blog, answering some questions or other. The next day I had a little peek to see if it had appeared on the comments and it wasn’t there, so I assumed it had been skimmed over or rejected for some reason.
But when I read what you wrote about comments here, I had another sneaky look and it had indeed appeared, just a little bit later. So- sorry for doubting your commitment to this blog! I do love reading it. I think my TYSIC should be to learn to expect acceptance from others
And thanks for posting the website. Truly inspiring (and the skate park video is great!)
Posted by Rachael on June 30, 2010
Thanks for the link Mark
Posted by Lydia on June 30, 2010
I’m definitely going to look at that website in a minute. People like that are so incredible, I honestly have no idea how they manage to be optimistic under such circumstances. I always feel guilty though, because I know that even after I look at what he’s going through how I think in terms of myself won’t change.
On the Jack Whitehall thing, I know that particular joke wasn’t the most offensive thing ever, but he’s said some things in the past that have been kind of irritating. It was because of those things more than that particular comment that annoyed me. And I made that really unclear in my comment about him, I’m sorry.
Posted by Katy on June 30, 2010
My internet died whilst trying to post my comment, hopefully it wont now come up twice.
I saw the poster for Patrick’s sight on the train on the way to the airport last week and couldnt remember it yesterday when I wanted to look at it, so thank you for posting it.
One of my best friends Dad has just been diagnosed with MND and its hit them all quite hard. Hes getting worse quite quickly which is a shame, my friend is getting married in September and we’ve got everything crossed that hes able to be there and enjoy the day. He’s quite positive about things still which is a good thing, and good for the family as well. I shall pass the site on.
Posted by Tom Beasley on June 30, 2010
That really is a stunning thing for someone to do. I’ve always admired people who decide to embrace the last years of their life and do something special, so this guy is really inspiring. Seeing someone in such an awful position who is still able to love life really sends out an excellent message for others.
Posted by LisaD on June 30, 2010
Ordinarily I’m always telling friends that it’s ok if they want to complain about stupid little things because it’s venting about the little things that keeps them from becoming big horrid things…or at least that’s my theory. Thing is, I just spent a good chunk of my morning at patricktheoptimist.org and now I think there is the teeniest possibility that if someone were to say complain that her life was just TOO HARD because she had trouble finding a parking space near the coffee house…well I’m a bit worried that I might end up smacking her across the face soon…hypothetically.
PS Thanks for the shout out. In truth I had a bout of posting remorse after hitting send on that one–seemed a bit out of line on my part. I’m relieved it was taken in the spirit intended.
Posted by Madeleine on June 30, 2010
I’m the sort of person who lines up five hours before a gig to be at the very front, so having seen many a support act I think Elizabeth’s comment was great. It’s also wonderful to hear again that you do read every comment, though sometimes after I comment I look back on it and hope that you’re just skimming today…
That website was hard to look at, but so important I think. I think when someone who has every excuse to hate the world decides to like it instead it is so inspiring to people like us, who let the few reasons we have to be pessimistic override all the great things in our lives. The kind of thing that Patrick is doing makes me incredibly sad as well though, because I can’t help but think of all the other people with horrible diseases like this, who just suffer alone and whither away. It’s great that Patrick is, through his own bravery, helping those who are (completley rightfully) less optimistic but just as courageous.
Thanks for bringing this to our attention Mark and keep up the good work.
Posted by Britt on June 30, 2010
I am a horrible person. A really horrible person. Because no matter how inspiring that link is, I don’t want to click it.
That said, for the purpose of this comment, I did click it. But couldn’t get any further than the front page.
Yes, it’s inspiring. Yes, it’s wonderful that he’s able to draw attention to his condition in this way. But no, I don’t want to read all about it or see his artwork. I’d rather read a blog by a comedian, who isn’t always optimistic or happy, but who seems real and relatable. Optimism scares me.
Yeah, I’m a horrible person. Sorry.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on June 29, 2010
Thank you for posting the link, as someone else has said it’s hard to not say cliches but it is truly inspiring and I’m always surprised (I don’t think surprise is the right word at all but I can’t think of anything else) at how it’s the harder times that make us stronger.
Posted by hornseygirl on June 29, 2010
Thank you for raising awareness of Patrick’s website. I rarely travel on the Tube these days (with having a six month old baby), so I hadn’t seen these compelling posters. It brings home the power of the human spirit.
It reminds me of an inspirational blog I followed by a young man called Adrian Sudbury. Faced with his own mortality, he mobilised what became known as ‘Adrian’s Army’ to campaign for greater awareness of bone marrow donation. Being a 21st Century Luddite, I can’t get the hyper-link to work. If you Google ‘Baldy’s Blog’ it comes up at the top. He achieved so much against increasingly challenging odds. He also had a great sense of humour.
http://baldyblog.freshblogs.co.uk/
I want to pose a question. As I’ve mentioned above, I have a baby girl. For a while now I’ve been thinking about writing her a letter in the event that, due to any unforseen event, I am no longer about. I suppose such a letter might tell her what she means to me; pass on some advice etc. Given that you’re acutely aware of the competing forces of optimism and pessimism, do you think this an act of optimism, pessimism or something entirely different?
I liked your slot on Newsnight. Keep up the great work.
Posted by Adam on June 29, 2010
Wow. What an inspiring man. I won a few sheckles on the football tonight but I know straight where that money’s going. Thanks Mark.
Posted by Aislinn on June 29, 2010
Thanks for bringing that to our attention. I have been trying over the last couple of weeks to spend the bare minimum as I’ve spent loads on my planned trip to Edinburgh, but it’s seeing things like Patrick’s website that make you realise quite what’s important and what deserves people’s money.
Posted by Amy B on June 29, 2010
Thank you Mark, difficult to comment on something like that without resorting to tired cliches, but really inspiring stuff so thank you for drawing my attention to it.
A side note: Love the title. I will have that in my head all night now! Funny thing is- I was thinking today that I fancied listening to MWMTWSB again, so this is clearly a sign. I’ll put on an episode right now.
Good luck with the continued optimism- I’ll bring you half a glass of water when I come to a live show, as a test
Posted by Rachel on June 29, 2010
No real comment from me other than that reading “exemplum, exemplum” made me smile rather a lot.
Posted by Megan on June 29, 2010
I only quickly looked at Patrick’s site because I don’t want to cry at work, but I’m reminded of my awesome mum.
My mother had a shit pileup of a life at times (widowed at 34, raised three kids on her own on not a lot of money (earning a BA in the meantime), fought cancer for the better part of 7 years), but she was an incurable optimist too, like Patrick. The day after the first treatment in her second round of chemo, she very wobbily got on a train to Nova Scotia with her best friend because she couldn’t even contemplate not going (she had never been before).
She was grateful every day, even when we (meaning my brothers and I) weren’t. Even when she was incredibly ill, couldn’t keep anything down, and knew her days were numbered, she stood by the mantra ‘Don’t feel sorry for yourself for more than 15 minutes a day or you’ll get nothing done’. She was an awesome lady.
I have to admit that it took me a long time to embrace that sentiment, but now I wholeheartedly do.
(My brothers, on the other hand…ah well.)
Posted by Iona on June 29, 2010
That really was amazing. But I can’t help thinking if we cure one disease something else is just going to kill us. But I guess that just shows I’m not an optimist! Though I have become more optimistic since I found out yesterday that my mum got the all clear for her cervical cancer and is now ok! yay! (I just wanted to tell people, sorry it’s not really relevant).
Posted by Sue on June 29, 2010
Thank you for the link – someone I know has a similar condition, and that website is simply incredible. Really gives you hope.
And it makes the world substantially better, you could say
Posted by Beth on June 29, 2010
That websites amazing; really makes you appreciate the live you have even though sometimes you (by you, I mean me) think your life is rubbish because you can’t get to a certain gig or go out on a friday night. It really puts things into perspective, I suppose.
I really admire that guy for finding the positives in an awful situation.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on June 29, 2010
I’ve had patients with MND who have broken my heart. The ones I’ve worked with were genuinely very positive. When I asked one patient how he managed it, he said ‘The worst part is over, I’ve already been told I’m going to die. It only gets better from here!’ Now THAT is optimism.
Posted by Misha on June 29, 2010
Wow.
Now sat up in bed crying (but in a good way).
One of my best friends has SMA, she can’t hold a pen or type for herself anymore, but she’s still determined to carry on like a normal teenager. She’s just texted me to see if I can help her get to see Eclipse tomorrow. I’m not a twilight fan but i’ll give it a shot.
I’d say that’s optimism, and like the man, Patrick. Trying to carry on even when things have gotten a bit shit.
Posted by Maybelle on June 29, 2010
If I’m first please tell us about Melbourne!