Trouble
Right, I’ve got ten minutes to write the blog today because I have to be in bed at 11. Like a kid – except in fact it’s BECAUSE of a kid. 11 is when he gets fed and then goes back to sleep. At that point I have to either go to bed, or work on into the night. And if I work till 2am tonight, I will definitely die. So bed it is. I feel about 80.
(In the Watson family one of the many running catchphrases is ‘I feel a hundred’ if you’re knackered. We saw someone say it once on a documentary and it kind of stuck – the idea of someone genuinely claiming to know what a 100-year-old feels like tickled us no end. So now, we can use the formulation ‘I feel… x’ as a sliding scale for tired you are. It can also mean you are just weighed down by the world, e.g. my brother claimed to feel a hundred after sitting through a poor-quality World Cup game last week.)
Anyway, the reason I’m observing the curfew so stringently tonight is that, as you’ll know if you follow me on Twitter, the other night I fucked it up, tried to work for a couple of hours and then get into bed without waking the baby. If you’ve witnessed the general elegance with which I address tasks, you won’t be surprised to hear I did wake the baby. Which meant we lay listening to him gurgling and squeaking from about 1.30am till four. Which meant I got in A LOT of trouble. Emily threatened on Twitter that she would kill me with a bedside lamp/end our marriage/both. These things haven’t come to pass yet. But still. I’m on a warning.
So today’s blog is a phone-in. What is the worst Trouble (capital T) you have been in? This was a great question someone asked me in an interview recently and I was a bit stumped. By and large I’ve always been something of a goody-goody, as they used to say in books about boarding school. I’ve been summoned to court for forgetting to pay council tax, but they just do that to alarm you – you don’t actually go to court. I’ve been in Trouble many times with Emily, but it’s mostly routine marriage stuff, not being-caught-with-hooker stuff. I’m always slightly drawn to people who have taken on Trouble, with the law or other authority figures. Or just stories of people being massively, massively told off, like ‘not speaking to you for three years’ told off.
So. What’s the worst trouble YOU have been in? You can interpret it any way you like – it could be being summoned to 10 Downing Street, or just having no money and being lost in New York. Or just, like me, being in a sizeable doghouse at four in the morning and then having to get up at seven.
Oh, one more thing. Several people now have left Comments along the lines of ‘I saw you at the station/on a beach/in a public toilet but didn’t know whether to say hello’. In general, if you are a reader of this blog, you should ALWAYS say hello. I love meeting people from the peculiar community that makes up the invisible audience of this website. And in fact, we’ll make a game of it (called Where’s Watson). Three points for saying hello in a non-gig situation. Two for saying hello at a gig. One point for claiming on the blog to have spotted me – if I can verify it. At the end of each year, we’ll round up the points, and at the end of 10 years, I will do something fun with the winner. Unless they’re mad.
Yesterday’s title was from Since I Left You by the Avalanches, which came out in about 2001. I strongly recommend it if you want to listen to something weird and highly addictive. The first person to spot it was someone’s sister. A prize will shortly be negotiated. See you tomorrow. When England could be out of the World Cup. Or still in it. I believe I’ve built the suspense pretty well, there.
Posted by Rachael on June 26, 2010
I’m a goody-goody too but my sister still hasn’t forgiven me for eating her creme egg about 10 years ago.
Posted by the Knight Who Says .... "Ni" on June 23, 2010
ChrisP … glad you enjoyed it.
It’s absolutely true … & yes, of course it is a Northern town. Did you really need to ask ?
Anyone is free to tell it on. It normally gains a titter or two.
Posted by hornseygirl on June 23, 2010
No real trouble with a capital T to report.
I can, however, report three ‘Where’s Watson’ sightings; I didn’t say ‘hello’ – sorry!
I’ve seen you in our fine local bakers; our newi-ish local foodstore (ex Woolies site) and at the local polyclinic on the Friday morning baby weigh-in. I shall try not to be shy / anti-social next time. ; )
Posted by Megan on June 23, 2010
There was the time when I was 17 and was going to go to my then-boyfriend’s house, but didn’t mention to my mother that said boyfriend’s parents were away for the weekend. Seems pretty tame, really, but my mother was one of those parents for whom lying was just about as bad as murder on the morality scale. (No, really. I don’t lie very well/often as a result.)
The worst situation I’ve maybe ever been in was after hitting the Canada Day party at the High Commission in London and partaking of a couple of free tasty beverages and some cake. Cake with red icing. Some red food colouring gives me migraines and this free dessert gave me the worst one of my life. So, I could barely see, was stumbling around London trying to find my way back to Euston to get my train to Brum (last train of the day too), and I got lost. It was really, really scary. I did make it to the train and was seriously thinking about writing a note saying to call my mother in Canada if I was found passed out/in a coma and pinning it to my person. (I didn’t have a mobile and my only UK ID with an address on it was my NHS paperwork.)
I finally drifted off to sleep after more than an hour on the train, only for one million (approximately) teenagers to get on the train at the Birmingham NEC and wake me up (in the quiet carriage, of course). Despite being basically broke and living quite near University station, I took a cab home from New Street. I’m pretty sure that the cabbie just thought I was drunk. Good times.
Posted by Lydia on June 23, 2010
I’ve never really been in trouble. I’m seventeen and I am also a massive goody goody most of the time.
I think the worst thing I’ve done as far as upsetting my mum is concerned was last year after my school’s prom I went to this after party thing and got very, very drunk and did a lot of throwing up. Although the telling off part really wasn’t to bad because I think my mum figured my feeling terrible (quite possibly the most ill I have in my life. Lol) was punishment enough.
It is pretty hard to be like “Seriously, I didn’t drink much at all!” when you’re throwing up all over the place.
I bet in ten years time this will still be the worst thing I have done.
Posted by amycool on June 23, 2010
We’re mostly quite good aren’t we? I struggled to think of anything.
Thinking about it, most of my troublesome moments have been due to clumsiness. I smashed my Dad’s stereo cabinet in by cartwheeling in the lounge (I suspect it hurt me more than him but you’d never have guessed), I broke our only antique, I got gloss paint on the leather settee and made it worse by cleaning it with nail varnish remover. But the very worst was actually when I didn’t get into trouble. I was playing with one of those massive metal files at school and dropped it – it broke into pieces. I went to tell the teacher (I didn’t mention messing about) and offered to pay for it but he wouldn’t let me as he knew I would never be careless with the school’s property!!! So, so guilty.
I was twice sent to the head of year for a bollocking for things I didn’t do. Clearly my classmates hated me. The first was for throwing toilet roll in the toilets, when the head realised it was a lie and apologised. The other time was awful though. A girl who was bullying me pissed a load of people off and she was a bit of a social outcast. So she went to the head (with my best friend in tow to back her up) and named me, amongst many others, as bullying her. I had to wait outside for so long at lunchtime that I was on the brink of fainting (I was in a massive growth spurt at the time) so didn’t have the energy to argue much and they MADE ME APOLOGISE TO HER. She had the cheek to try to add me on facebook recently.
Posted by Anji on June 23, 2010
We’re a right bunch of good people!
I smashed my friends front room window at a party once. Another friend was being ill and all cold, it was an old wooden framed window, I was trying to shut it gently, but years of paint was making it stick. I was trying to be a good friend and stop ill friend freezing. ‘ pull it harder’ was the advice from everyone else in the room. I did. The smashing caused a party freeze and a front room full of open mouthed watchers.
House owner friends son phones his dad to explain. ‘who did it?’ ‘anji’ ‘oh that’s ok then’.
Not really trouble with a capital T. But if it’s ok, I don’t think i’ll try harder!
Posted by Simone on June 23, 2010
My sister and I decided to make pancackes (water and flour) while my Dad was napping on the couch. The pancake batter turned into a glue-like substance… When my Dad woke up he was furious and we promised him we’d clean up before Mum got home. I took everything that was covered in pancake batter and buried it in the backyard (it’s probably still there).
When I was 8 I ran away from home (I hid outside behind the Daisy Bin – a compost bin in Australia). I hid for 2 hours. Mum went knocking on doors around the neighbourhood and eventually rang the police.
I got the wooden spoon and was sent to my room on both occasions.
Posted by ChrisP on June 23, 2010
Although in the time it took me to write that bit The Knights Who say “Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing Zow Zing” has literally just made my day with that epic tale. Was it in a Northern town out of interest?
Posted by ChrisP on June 23, 2010
Is it just me that gets away with everything? Trick is whatever it is that you did DON’T get caught doing it! Subtlety, yeah!
I love Dawns story though, this is why I love working part time in a supermarket, there’s always something going on that’s a lot more interesting that filling up freezers.
Posted by the Knight Who Says .... "Ni" on June 23, 2010
I was recently thrown out of a pie shop. Does that count ?
I popped in & asked for “2 meat & potato and 2 meat pies, please”. The woman looked at me & said “they are potato & meat, not meat & potato” …. I looked & grinned & then said “OK, well 2 of thos ethen please”.
She stared at me for a couple of seconds & then said “you’ve got to ask for potato & meat, otherwise I can’t serve you. ….. It’s the trades descriptions act. …. I’d be breaking the law”.
This was, clearly, a regular occurance as other people in the queue were sniggering & nudging each other.
“I don’t know who’s told you that, but it’s nonsense” I replied. Then we went into a sort of Mexican stand-off as she looked at me & I at her. By now there was no possibility that I’d ask for ‘potato & meat’, nor that she’d serve me if I didn’t.
After a while I had a thought. “I tell you what, I’ll have 4 meat instead” (genius, that’s me). She proceeded to make up a small box & put 4 meat pies into it. As she did so I made my first (count them) completely unnecessary statement …. ” ….. I assume you can call what’s put in those ‘meat’ then ?”. She stiffened, but carried on. The queue, from now on to be called an audience, sniggered all the more.
She placed the box onto the glass counter and asked me for £4.40. I gave her £5 and she turned to the till.
I then looked into the counter and saw, amongst the other goods on sale, potato cakes. This was too good to miss & up came unnecessary remark #2. “I see you sell potato cakes …….. (she perceptably stops what she’s doing) …. I was just wondering …. (audience is giggling in anticipation) …. how do you get away with calling them that, then ? Coz they’re not cakes, are they ? They’re a potato based, savory product ”
Cue actual laughter from the throng. I’m feeling pretty smug at this point.
She turns, removes the box of meat pies from the counter and thrusts my £5 note back toward me and says, through a tight, mean mouth “I’d like you to leave my shop please, I’m no longer willing to serve you” …. the laughter rises …. “I’m sorry ?” …. “Would you leave by shop now, you’re barred !”
I consider arguing, but decide it’s not worth while. I take my £5 back and slouch toward the door. The audience is now taking oxygen & propping themselves up on each other. I get to the door when she hurls toward my back the never to be forgotten words ” ….. for life !!”.
So, there you have it. I am barred from a pie-shop …. for life !!
Posted by glamlovinkitty on June 23, 2010
Oh, I can’t believe I forgot this one. When I was 3 or 4, I was out playing in the front garden and my mum shouted to me ‘Sally and Jake are on’ (a kids TV show I apparently liked).
I shouted back to her, ‘FUCK Sally and Jake’.
There was, as I remember, deadly silence for just a moment before the carnage.
Posted by glamlovinkitty on June 23, 2010
The worst trouble I ever got into was at primary school when I was 7 or 8. My friend’s dad was Irish and he had come back from visiting his family and had brought back some little whisky miniatures. My friend had brought one into school with her to show us (we were obviously easily impressed) and even though we were very young we were also very curious and four or five of us tasted a tiny little bit. We got caught by the headmistress, Miss McGleave – a frustrated old lady in her 60s who’d never married and lived with her ailing mother, she was a complete nutter. Miss McGleave frog marched us into her office and, one by one, we got the thrashing of our lives. She used to hold you by the shoulder and sort of pivot you round whilst she knocked the shit out of you – slapping on the back of the legs usually.
Can you imagine such a thing now? Miss McGleave would have been up on an assault charge and sacked. But back then, you’d go home crying to your mum and she would say, serves you right.
Posted by Laura on June 23, 2010
I do wish you would run competitions I might actually win. It’s a conspiracy, I’m sure.
Back in my student days I always quite liked the idea of being arrested. One evening a group of us were at the local student union, decidedly beered up. They wanted to close the place early as not enough people were in there to warrant keeping it open (despite the fact that those of us who were there were drinking enough for five times the number of people). We all decided to have a sit-in as a protest. The police were duly called and turned up a bit, well, narked. Unfortunately, I was dragged off before I got arrested which, to this day, feels like a missed opportunity.
I also had an ill-advised liaison with a married man, but I came out of that relatively trouble-free. Oh, the shame.
Oh, and when I was much younger and my sister and I absolutely hated each other, I threatened her with a carving knife. Did not go down well with the parents.
Posted by Dawn on June 23, 2010
At my age I have got into trouble quite a few times but the worse thing I did happened when I was 16!
I had a Saturday job in a local supermarket and a 24 year old married supervisor took a shine to me. As I have always been needy we started an affair (I call it an affair but we only kissed as I was quite innocent in those days!)
After a few weeks his wife found my photo (with my name on the back) in his walllet so while we were both at work she rang everyone in the local area with my surname. When she rang my house my parents asked her round to find out what was going on!
When I arrived home after work my sister answered the door and said
******’s wife has been round! My heart was in my mouth!
My parents were waiting for me and were holding all the love letters we had sent to each other PLUS my diary which they, and his wife, had read.
After hours of being called all the names under the sun, the following day my dad rang the manager of the supermarket and told him everything.
****** was sent to another branch in disgrace and I was grounded for ever!
I was only allowed out to walk to school to take my exams and I stayed in till I started a full time job 6 months later.
Luckily ***** and his wife moved away so I never saw him again.
I never set foot in that supermarket again, not even years later when I was married with children because I was still so full of shame!
Posted by cymruangel on June 23, 2010
I once walked into a house that was in the process of being burgled, and got punched in the face. Not my fault, but still Trouble.
As it turned out, the burglar was so horrified that he’d hit a girl that he stopped what he was doing and ran away!
Posted by EmmaT on June 23, 2010
Never really got in trouble, although I always wish I did make a bit more of a nuisance of myself and didn’t fade into the background quite so much. Although I had a promising start in the troublemaking stakes when I was very young made my older brother walk across some glass, which he subsequently fell through and to this day is still scarred. But I am afraid (I am sure my bro is not) that is where I peaked.
Posted by Carl on June 23, 2010
Probably the most trouble I’ve been in was yesterday on a train.
A big, bald man was unhappy that my bike was touching his bike and unnecessarily started calling me a ‘fucking idiot’ and starting on me. I hate conflict, but I also hate strangers embarrassing me and belittling me.
So I insulted his earrings and he chased me off the train swearing.
Posted by Corey on June 23, 2010
To be fair, I’ve not ever been in too much trouble other than saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. That was until visiting Australia a couple of years ago!.
I was in Oz for 2 months then NZ for 1 month, and it was only when I got home that I found out that when I left OZ I was banned from driving (only In Australia I should point out) as from the hire cars we had used I’d picked up 4 speeding fines. One we knew about and paid it there and then, but the other 3 were waiting on the doorstep in England for us. I felt like a fugitive, and thought thank god I hadn’t been caught or spotted on Aussie Crimewatch. So I paid them which my boss said I shouldnt have done ‘cos what are they gonna do about it?’ but I didn’t want to take the risk, however fun it may have been to be deported to Australia. I didn’t want to end up in Prisoner Cell Block H!.
Then onto NZ when to be fair we had run out of cash to even stay at campsites, all we had was our car,so we used to sleep in the car and ‘sneek’ into campsites to use their showers for washing. I’ve never been a criminal before, but we both got a ‘rush’ by cleaning ourselves using illegal showers!. Until……
A campsite attendent caught us….not once but twice!, I was brazen enough to think that after being told once that I wasn’t welcome at his caravan park, one last shower would be ok!….wrong……and he filmed our hire car in a high speed ‘get away’ from the site….i say high speed, we had to stop at traffic lights, then realised we’d gone the wrong way, so we had to drive back past him as he was still filming our car!. I’ve often wondered if we were being hunted by the authorities……..its fun being a lawbreaker….but don’t do it kids its not big or clever. We only did it out of lack of money!!
Posted by Aislinn on June 23, 2010
I always post really long comments. I don’t realise until I post them. I am going to try my best to, well, curb my enthusiasm from now on.
Posted by Aislinn on June 23, 2010
Oh god I am a very competitive person. I also do not think I am in with the slightest chance of winning this. These facts do genuinely not bode well in my brain.
Speaking of trouble, I… generally don’t get into much. The two naughty things I really remember doing at primary school (spraying a mouthful of water down a boy’s back; sticking my middle finger up at the back of a teacher who then turned around mid-swear) I, quite luckily, got away with i.e. I was such a goody two-shoes that the teachers knew I wouldn’t do anything of the kind again and let me off without telling my mum.
Once a colleague stopped me at work, though. We had done Secret Santa for Christmas and she had bought my mum a men’s cologne set (which, what with it being aimed at men, my mum didn’t like all that much) and I had joked to my mum at the staff do (we work together) that someone must have thought she smelled really bad. Said colleague got very upset and gave me a slightly-too-serious, fifteen-minute interrogation in the staff room after the Christmas holidays about my behaviour.
Oh and also, once, I dyed my hair pink. This got me into trouble on the basis that a) I did not warn my mum, b) Sainsburys do not like people working in the bakery with neon pink hair and c) I also dyed the bath tub, the sink, the shower curtain and the tiles.
Posted by Gilly on June 23, 2010
Being in California, I suspect I will not win this game. Unless I move back to stalk you.
*Briefly considers this, then realizes this would involve packing and possibly a restraining order*
I will keep my eyes peeled from here for now.
*Has to go to bed because she has an exam in the morning*
Posted by h2osarah on June 23, 2010
I like that, with the points system, you’re essentially inviting, and possibly encouraging stalkers. I love how much you trust us lot. As for trouble… I don’t get in it often… but I felt like I was in trouble a lot in my former lab. Which is why I quit in September. But to be fair, that was my boss’ fault, not mine.. I’ll have a think.
Posted by Britt on June 23, 2010
Unlike many of your blog readers, it seems that I was a bit of a troublemaker growing up. In primary school I cut my hair [with horrendous results], was caught clambering around under classrooms, and once had to sit outside the principal’s office all lunchtime because my friends and I had been tormenting the [slightly deranged] drum teacher by banging on the windows outside the music room while he was giving lessons.
Then high school came along. The worst thing I probably did was skip class a little more often than I should have – which got me my fair share of detentions [most of which I was somehow able to wriggle out of]. My favourite high school punishment was when my PE teacher made me write short essays because I “forgot” my sports uniform. Little did he realise that I quite enjoyed writing essays, and preferred to do so much more than swim/play netball/etc. Fun times.
Posted by Rachel/Pandora on June 23, 2010
I’ve never really been in that much trouble. Both my parents taught at my secondary school, meaning I already knew the majority of the teachers before starting in Year 7. Because of this, I managed to make it the whole way through without even a break-time detention to my name, although there were a few times when I definitely deserved one. Outside of school, I was too busy doing a variety of sports stuff to really get into trouble.
My only real brush with the law was in first year at university, when I returned home from a night out to find two policemen in our flat. Turns out we’d left the windows open, so they’d decided to climb in, and wait for us to get back to prove a point. We ended up chatting and sharing a box of chocolate fingers. Biscuits can get you out of any situation!
Posted by Catherine on June 23, 2010
Posted itself again…..
……I never got arrested for stealing, murder or assault. I was a pretty good girl most of the time. I’m told by my mother that I was a pain in the ass as a teenager. I don’t remember it that way. If they only knew what real trouble was, I would have looked like an angel.
Just mind your parents and remember God (if s/he existed) will get you back through your children. That is a heavy weight to bear/bare. Whatever.
Posted by Catherine on June 23, 2010
There’s a few things I’m ashamed to admit. Since there are quite a few young people who read this blogs, I’ll say what I haven’t done. I’ve never been arrested for drugs, drunk driving, drinking under age, leaving the scene of an accident. I never got pregnant before I was married. I’
Posted by Madeleine on June 23, 2010
I’m going to add to the trend here of people who don’t often get in to trouble. For me it’s for two reasons, I hate conflict and am generally always considering how to act in a way that’s going to cause the least bother and I’m also a pretty skilled and shameless liar (I try not to be proud of this, but it’s one of a small handful of talents. Doesn’t look great on a resume however) so I can generally talk my way out of things.
Whenever I do get in trouble, it’s for either not keeping a check on my mouth, or forgetting to do something.
I once got caught on the roof of a university (with others) a little drunk at 4 o’clock in the morning. But nothing really came of that, since I didn’t go there so the staff couldn’t really repremand me.
Posted by Ben Draper on June 23, 2010
We started an underground boxing thing at school where we arranged matches and held them at lunch time, which was subsequently unearthed when the deputy head walked in half way through a fight. Luckily for us too many people were involved for serious action to be taken so we got off scott free except for a huge shit storm of inquiries and stuff that lasted a few days that had us all worried.
Posted by Custard_Cream_Dreams on June 23, 2010
The worst I ever got was fearing I’d made a girl pregnant via a one night stand. I was an idiot and without a shadow of a doubt would’ve deserved everything I got (no doubt: I’d have done my utmost for my progeny and the mother, but I’m only 22 now, and have a lot to do before kids…)
On the hello front, I noticed that more than one reader from this blog is from Weymouth, which, as a town of like 55,000 is pretty good. Maybe you should pop down for a bucket and spade day out. I’d buy all three of you an ice cream! I’m not convinced it’s a great place for you to play. Yeah, a lot of comedians have sold out, but… unfortunately I’m fighting the dichotomy between “I’m being pretty arrogant” and “they’re pretty unintelligent”.
There’s a fair lot of pretentiousness (pretension?) in there too… I’ve had a bit to drink, you know how it is when you’re trying to conflate the different trains of thought in your head… trying to please all and that.
Posted by Daniel on June 23, 2010
The only “Trouble” I can think of is being caught drinking in a park where drink wasn’t allowed by the police. I think I was 16. They confiscated it and took our details. It was fairly scary.
One asked “Have you been drinking?” and we said we had and they said “I know you have, I can smell it and I used to work in a pub so I know.” Which was weird, we had just told them we had, and it doesn’t really take that much bar-experience to smell alcohol.
They also asked “have you got anything on you you shouldn’t have?” to which someone (who I am not friends with) said “I have a light” and I thought, shit he has a lighter, that’s probably not great. But no, it was a bike light, like a torch. Which I’m sure are legal. The idiot.
Everyone got worried and called their parents because they wanted them to hear it from them, not the police. But I took a risk and didn’t tell my parents, and the police didn’t call anyone anyway! So I got away with it.
Anyway, that’s that “Trouble.” Not exactly Northern Ireland, but I suppose it’s all relative.
Posted by Ally on June 23, 2010
I got in Trouble for being caught getting drunk before our year 12 graduation ceremony. Luckily, because this was literally the first time my friends and I had got in trouble, the teachers let us off the hook and looked kind of bemused.
Posted by Rick Procter on June 23, 2010
I had to plead guilty in court once. It was only for a speeding fine, but still. I’d previously written a grovelling letter of apology to the cop shop when I first got the prosecution notice, and incredibly it helped – it was actually produced in court by the clerk on my behalf (very unexpected) and the fine was reduced quite a bit. See, sometimes it pays to be penitent.
Mostly in my life I’ve been a bit goody-goody as well – only by default really. My worst ever mistake at work, which cost several people a lot of time to sort out, I got away with. I don’t think anyone ever realised it was my fault. Suffice to say I never made the same mistake again though.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on June 23, 2010
I’m a big time goody two shoes.
The worse trouble I got in with my parents was not looking when I crossed the road and a taxi honked its horn at me which resulted in my brother telling my parents who then grounded me. I can’t remember if the grounding actually stayed in place or if they said it and let it slide after a few hours. But none the less it worked and I double look when crossing the road.
i’ve been kicked out of a shop once when I had a pillow fight with someone. My coolness does hurt me aswell!
Posted by Alex on June 23, 2010
I had a New Year’s Eve party. A friend of fell on the toilet and the seat broke off, and in half. I wasn’t in as much trouble as I thought I would be, but I think that was mostly because I cried quite a lot.
Posted by MusicalLottie on June 22, 2010
I got into trouble with my parents when I held my brother not long after he’d been born, and didn’t support his head properly. To be fair his twin had just been stillborn – at that age (I was 5 1/2) I didn’t really understand, but when I was a bit older it twigged that a) they would have been protective anyway and b) they were even more so at the time.
I almost got into trouble for forgetting to do my maths homework, but managed to talk my way out of detention for that.
Possibly the worst form of trouble was when I had a panic attack at a roundabout during a driving lesson, though I wasn’t a danger to anybody because I wasn’t moving …
Nope, no Capital-T Trouble. Thankfully!
Mark, your points system is great except for those of us who still live sheltered lives! Still, will be interesting to see what comes of it.
Posted by Steph on June 22, 2010
I love the fact that Marie’s parents still don’t know about the car! So domestically naughty!
Biggest trouble I’ve been in? I dunno, I feel like I have yet to land myself in some, big time. How about forging my mum;s signature on my violin practice book log? Hehe, I just hated practice so much!
Ahh great memories of the Avalanches. I remember my brothers playing Frontier Psychiatrist over and over again one holiday in Devon.
PSYCHOSOMATIC! That boy needs therapy…
Posted by Guy Collier on June 22, 2010
Ray Lamontagne?
For the blog title?
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 22, 2010
I fear that your fans are too nice a lot to provide good answers to this question. I’m struggling to think of an answer. Except when I told my friend I found her a girlfriend (including facebook page and backstory)… she wasn’t happy.
Posted by Helen on June 22, 2010
I was a rebel and half. My lord, I was trouble. Super bad stuff. You better be prepared. Here is the tale of ‘the time I passed a note during a maths test’. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it. We were in a classroom based maths test when I was about 7, not like a proper exam. And my friend passed me a note. It said ‘Want to play at lunchtime?. My reply: ‘I can’t, I’m going swimming’. We got discovered and we both got a ‘stripe’ which meant one of your stars got crossed off. As you can imagine, I was badly shaken. I still remember describing the moment I was given that stripe: ‘it was like a bullet going through me.’ (Fine. I was far too ‘good’. That’s honestly the the ‘best’ story I’ve got.)
Posted by Marie on June 22, 2010
It’s not the worst trouble I was in, but it’s the only one I’m happy to post here!
My parents went away on holidays a couple of years ago, with the instruction that I could drive the car, but I could not, under any circumstances, drive the car into the city centre. So, of course, twelve hours after they left, I drove the car into the city centre, and prompty drove it into a pole while trying to park. Which dented the bumper pretty badly.
There is nowhere in my area where that kind of pole exists, so there’s no way I could pretend to have damaged the car somewhere else.
So I had just over a week to find a panel beater and get the bumper fixed before they got home. I managed, eventually, to get someone to call out to house. This was after days of dealing with garage mechanics, whose eyes lit up with money signs when they saw a panicking 21 year old walk into their garage. If I hear the words ‘That’ll be a big job’ ever again in my life, I’ll drive the bloody car into them. Grrr.
So, yeah. The evening before they got home, and over a hundred euro poorer, I managed to get the car back to its pristine state.
And my parents still don’t know!
Posted by Katie on June 22, 2010
The worst trouble I’ve been in? I got a bollocking from a police officer at a silent rave once. That’s what you get if you try to get your groove on in a field, though.
That, and on Saturday, a woman complained about me at work. She said I’d frightened her when all I’d done was check if she was ok as she’d been in the changing rooms for an hour and a half. The irony is that I’m up for Employee of the Month for customer service. My boss gave me quite a long, angry talking to. Ah well.
(Also, dunno if I’d get away with pondering if the title of the blog is a reference to the Coldplay, Elvis, Pink or Cat Stephens song of the same name. This could also highlight my role as “musical elitist”, but there we go.)
Posted by Kate W on June 22, 2010
I don’t remember having got into particularly big trouble for it (although I must have), but I did once cut my sister’s hair. She was 3, I was 5 and I’d been reading ‘Topsy and Tim Go To The Hairdresser’s’. I cut a massive jagged piece out of her straight blonde fringe – my mum found a pile of hair in the toy cupboard and “GIRLS!!” echoed through the house…. To be fair, my sister had cut my hair too, but (as anyone who’s met me will understand), you couldn’t actually tell the difference.
Posted by Sam on June 22, 2010
I don’t get in trouble for many things as I seem able to talk my way out of things, although I no doubt should get in trouble for them.
These range from doing all my uni essays the morning they are due in.
Being stopped by the police on numerous occassions for various things which seem suspicous, such as smelling of petrol or climbing a fence.
The most notable probably was setting the school science lab on fire, everyone seeing me do it, everyone ratting me in, and me somehow talking my way out of it with nothing but a verbal warning and having to sit in the corner for fifteen minutes. It was not a small fire either, the teacher quite badly burnt his hand (although that was his fault for putting it in the fire). I lost all my work, my coat, another persons notebook, three tables, two stalls, a series of cupboards and six floorboards.
Posted by Anna Lowman on June 22, 2010
Ha, you’re so going to get complaints about this particular “points-based system” from you overseas readers! As a (relatively new) north Londoner of course I wholeheartedly endorse it.
As for trouble, I did pretty much nothing naughty as a kid. Except one of my very earliest memories, which was scratching the word ‘work’ into the rubber on our oven and being told off, and hearing the word ‘vandalism’ for the first time. I have no more idea now than I did then why I chose to do that.
Posted by Laurs on June 22, 2010
I’m like you Mark, I rarely get in to trouble. I just don’t like the conflict.
I have however, been summoned to the head teacher’s office twice in my life. The first time was years ago when some skanky bitch tried to accuse me of bullying her (anyone who knows me will verify I don’t have the capabilities to do that to anyone) when in actual fact she was trying to avoid punishment for bullying me and my sister.
The second time was much more scary. It was only last week. There is something definitely more scary about being summoned as a teacher than as a pupil. And to make matters worse, again I got a rollocking for something that wasn’t my fault.
But that is pretty much it. God, I’ve lived a sad life…
Posted by Kathryn on June 22, 2010
Worst trouble at school was probably sending my brother a joke christmas card which may have threatened to kill him… I was 8, he was 5. I was excused mostly because of my good record.
Worst trouble with my parents was dyeing my hair black when I was 12. No-one really noticed, as my hair is already very dark brown, but it’s been 7 years and my mother still hasn’t really forgiven me.
I’m far too “good” really. I often regret not being rebellious, but it’s probably better this way.
Posted by Misha on June 22, 2010
I was always quite well behaved. But having said that I have been in trouble occasionally.
Nearly got a massive bollocking in year 8 for punching a bully, but then I hyperventilated so he got in trouble for upsetting me.
Other than that the biggest trouble I’ve got in was during a major row with my Dad, had with me fighting off sleeping pills (badly timed row) in which I’m about 90% sure he threatened to put me into care and I threatened to top myself. It was because I missed the bus home… Seriously.
I’m clearly just too well behaved, or possibly just too good at pretending to be innocent.
On the baby front, definitely for the best. I still won’t ring the door bell after 7 because it was drummed into be 7 years ago that to do so would wake the baby. He’s 9 now.