Pigeon-fancying
There have been lots of reviews already after yesterday’s blog. Already, quite a lot of measured criticism of James Corden, one very interesting defence of the Sex and the City phenomenon, and a spectrum of surprisingly passionate takes on Center Parcs, including one of the fiercest denunciations ever posted in our Comments. For your say, leave a comment on yesterday’s entry and you may just see yourself in the fourth episode of the Very Late Review.
Tomorrow I’m going to publish Kate’s summary of what people have been doing for their TYSIC challenges. There are some impressive performances. S0meone has also sent a link to a game they’ve written as part of a challenge – pretty amazing. Remember to keep me informed if you do anything particularly cool, over and above regular coolness, in the course of your challenge. It’ll be time to give someone a prize soon.
Oh, speaking of which, I still owe a prize to the person (Deborah?) who identified all those plants. I think she was the same person who pleaded with me not to mention football, not even in user-friendly asides, yesterday. So maybe her prize can be that I won’t breathe a word about the World Cup in the coming week. I am, of course, tweeting about it at @back_of_the_net, the Twitter feed I share with my brother for taking the piss out of football, but if you read this blog, you probably already know that.
A ‘first commenter’ recently exercised his right to dictate a subject by demanding that I talk about pigeons. As it happens, my wife has an opinion on pigeons. Basically, she doesn’t like it when kids of about 7 chase them in the streets, and then cackle when they fly away. She thinks it sets a bad example if you’re allowed to bully even unpleasant creatures. You wouldn’t do the same to, say, a lamb in the street; you’d coo over it and maybe pat it a bit and at worst, imagine it as a cutlet with mint sauce.
I think I agree with her view and, in general, feel pigeons get a bit of a raw deal. People always talk about them being ‘rats with wings’ and vermin and so on. Perhaps it’s true, but rats didn’t ask to be born, did they? They’re just little fellows skulking around, trying to grind out an existence in the grimy underbelly of London or New York, same as most of the people who shoo them off the subway platforms, really, except rats don’t have stuff like packed lunches. I’m sure rats and pigeons would love to be rabbits, living up in a warren and venturing out for Watership Down-style expeditions to totalitarian rabbit empires far afield. I’m sure they’d love to be dolphins, surging in and out of the surf, swimming with toothy children whose parents are wealthy.
But not every creature can be, just as I, for example, cannot be as pretty as Pixie Lott. We all have our different purpose, we’re all cut out for different things. I think we should get behind the underdogs, the pigeons of this world, just as we might support New Zealand in the Wor… oops. Phew. Nearly let myself down there.
In summary, don’t judge God’s less glamorous creatures for being that way. That concludes today’s Animal Lessons. I’m distantly related to Aesop, you know. His full name was Aesop Watson.
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
(sorry for double post – i spotted a typo, corrected it as it was submitting, then it posted both…)
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
i was horrified one day on a train (i think, but may be wrong, it was a train to or from edinburgh) i heard an older man say to a younger one something about how they’d (not sure who they were) had hush-edly culled all the pigeons in trafalgar square. i had noticed there were lots less, but had no idea tehy’d killed them all!
i think people should stop being so mean to pigeons – the whole ‘rats with wings’ thing is no excuse!
i must admit, though, i have on a number of occassions got hikmah to run at a group of pigeons – not to be horrible, but just because it makes a great picture (e.g. http://www.flickr.com/photos/knox1013/5914405332/in/photostream)
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
i was horrified one day on a train (i think, but may be wrong, it was a train to or from edinburgh) i heard an older man say to a younger one something about how they’d (not sure who they were) had hush-edly culled all the pigeons in trafalgar square. i had notided there were lots less, but had no idea tehy’d killed them all!
i think people should stop being so mean to pigeons – the whole ‘rats with wings’ thing is no excuse!
i must admit, though, i have on a number of occassions got hikmah to run at a group of pigeons – not to be horrible, but just because it makes a great picture (e.g. http://www.flickr.com/photos/knox1013/5914405332/in/photostream)
Posted by Chris on June 13, 2010
Can we differentiate between different types of Pigeons here? I like wood pigeons (being a total country boy) but I don’t like those horrible townie pigeons that attack you while you wait for the circle line etc.
Just read Sams comment though, that is horrid, in Bath too!?
Also why are so many people having a go at Mark regarding the sport? He’s trying to build bridges to people like you and maybe this is a good opportunity to give him/it a chance. Anybody who has read the BackOfTheNet page will know it is barely about football anyway; it’s about having a joke and a laugh and following a great sport in a not too serious way. Give it a go.
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 13, 2010
Just a quick note from a country bumpkin:
Let’s hear it for Wood Pigeons
Posted by Ally on June 13, 2010
Pigeons always seem a lot nicer if you think of them as rock doves, which are the most common ones (where I live at least). They get called pigeons or doves, so I prefer to go with dove for obvious reasons.
Posted by David Calder on June 13, 2010
Of course, I could be talking out of my arse:
http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=344307
Posted by DeborahF on June 13, 2010
Me again. I feel so what guilty wielding so much power over the blog – so Mark, I’m happy to put it to a vote and if the majority want to discuss the game then so be it. Perhaps then you can put a warning at the start and end of any f**tball bit and I can skip it
Posted by David Calder on June 13, 2010
I think pigeons are under-rated birds. Next time you’re out in the city, sit down on a park bench for a few minutes. Take a good look at the irridescent colours on their neck and the slightly different patterns that each one seems to have. At this time of year, males can be seen dancing against one another for supremacy in the flock. The winners will do elaborate courtship dances with the females. It’s quite fascinating really.
Keep a look out in the skies above as if you’re lucky you may even see a Peregrine take a pigeon in flight (their favourite food).
Regarding birds with missing toes, this is due to the build up of guano at roost sites – i.e. bird crap building up in places that don’t see any rain, for example under a bridge. The guano is very rich in ammonia which can burn the toes.
So yeah, pigeons, not as rubbish as you might think.
Posted by Madeleine on June 13, 2010
P.S – I was being sarcastice about back of the net going over my head. It is awesome and hilarious and now I’m a tad worried I’m going to look like a moron because sarcasm doesn’t come over well in text. Phew.
Panda Kicking is probably more dangerous to you then the Panda. They are very fat you and may find your foot swallowed up. Word of warning.
Posted by LisaD on June 13, 2010
PS Does anyone else find themselves DESPERATELY hoping that Helen ends up in a situation which ends with her kicking a panda? No? Just me then…
Posted by Madeleine on June 13, 2010
I’m overwhelmed with relife whenever I see a bird in the city that isn’t a magpie, so pidgeons are just fine by me. They have funny little faces.
This no soccer thing is a bugger. I’ve been staying up till 12, sleeping for two hours and then getting up again at 04:30 for the last two days to watch the games, and its going to be pretty unrewarding not to be able to discuss it here (I am following back of the net, but a lot of it goes over my head). Maybe I’ll just GREEN WHAT A FUCKING GAAAAAH work it really MESSSSSSSSSSSSSI!!!! inconspicuously into sentances. That’ll IF FRANCE GETS TO THE FINALS AGAIN I’LL SHOOT MYSELF be fine I’m sure.
Or I’ll just use these weird sleeping hours to get the first post and then DEMAND you talk about it.
Posted by LisaD on June 13, 2010
Rather like pigeons myself, and seagulls and sparrows. I never really got over being amazed with them the way I was as a kid. They might be common enough but A) I think they’re not as common as humans and B) they can fly, which gives them a leg up on the “being interesting” scale. That being said, I’m still not sure I agree with Mrs. Watson on the cruelty of kids chasing pigeons. In my experience a lot of the kid behavior that adults see as cruelty is really just interest. I used to drop ants in spider webs. Some thought this was cruelty toward ants, a minority thought it might be sympathy with spiders. The truth is it was just curiosity about insects. I had read about how spiders capture insects and wanted to see for myself. I also used to run at pigeons. I really thought they had beautiful markings and were interesting (that whole flying thing) plus there was something amazing about being surrounded by dozens of birds taking off at once. It was like standing on a beach when it rained or being under a lot of maple trees on a really windy day in autumn. It’s that feeling of being part of nature and getting a little beaten up by it at the same time. It always made me laugh when I was in the middle of something like that. Still does.
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on June 12, 2010
Heya, so sorry…. but I completely forget how to update you on our TYSIC…? Do I just comment?
Posted by Iona on June 12, 2010
I personally don’t mind pigeons but if you’re sayig even bad animals should get a chance to live (they only do what they do to survive) should that extend to other living organisms like bacteria? They are just trying to survive it just happens that by doing this some kill us with diseases… This doesn’t really make sense and maybe I’ve revised too much biology and anyway I’m really tired. What I’m trying to say is good blog.
Posted by helen (@iamanicelady) on June 12, 2010
I kicked a pigeon once. Completely by accident, neither of us were looking where we were going. I felt very guilty, but luckily am in no position to tell you whether I felt more or less guilty about kicking a pigeon than I would if I had kicked something more endearing, such as a panda. Though if I do accidentally lurch into one of those whilst keeping an eye out for a cashpoint I will offer thorough comparison.
xx
Posted by Barry Manana on June 12, 2010
That’s odd! I was at Bath Spa Railway Station the other day and a pigeon flew into the waiting room and started freaking people out.
I managed to cunningly extract it by using crumbs from the digestive biscuit I was eating.
It’s sad – but it was probably the coolest thing I’ve done in ages!
Crap football joke: England 0 Peru 5 Incaaaaaaaaaaland!
Posted by DeborahF on June 12, 2010
It’s ok Heather I remember ‘Stop the Pigeon’ but only sang along in my head as I’m at my parents house and didn’t want them to think I’d lost the plot again.
Mark – yes you’re right the plantaholic was me and yes I did make the passionate plea for a f**tball free zone. So I accept my prize – thank you very much. I will be reading daily until the dreaded tournament is over and rejoice in each f**tball free blog. However, feel free to talk about all other sports, I’m not completely anti-sport – just that particular one
Posted by Anna Lowman on June 12, 2010
COME ON ENGLAND!
Just because you’re too lovely to bang on about it, doesn’t mean I have to be.
I’m excited and nervous.
Pigeons are ok – my brother saw someone catch one in flight, kinda by accident (he was trying to do it, but didn’t expect to succeed) in San Francisco. I wish I’d seen that.
Posted by Heather Jones on June 12, 2010
Pigeons eh?
I have the following observation.
There are pigeons and there are pigeons. To expand:
Positive pigeons =
1. racing pigeons, beloved by northerners – clever critters with homing instincts harnessed in service of their humans.
2 (within the same category as the above, in fact) The cartoon pigeon in the wonderful ‘Stop the Pigeon’ cartoons of my childhood (come on, there must be SOME people out there who remember and can sing along: ‘Stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon, stop the pigeon – how? Nab him, jab him, cab him, grab him – stop that pigeon NOW!’ (link is to youtube of this intro song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJvsMxLjp6w
(glad to say that nthose asty baddies Dastardly & Mutley never did manage to stop that clever pigeon)
Negative pigeons =
1.The ones in central London
2.The ones roosting on the tree under which I park my car,
3. The ones who occasionally roost on the top of my son’s bedroom oriel window)
The reason? Pigeon poo – it’s just total shite!
Posted by K on June 12, 2010
Not Watership Down! I’m sure when my cousin took us on a rare trip to the cinema to see it as children, she thought it would be just the sort of child-friendly entertainment to keep us quiet for a few hours, but my abiding memory is of fields awash with blood and unstoppable tears. Deeply traumatising, even now.
My grandmother bought me the book later, as a birthday present, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to read it, and only keep it lurking on my shelves because she inscribed it for me. Even pigeons deserve a better fate than Watership Down. Go with the dolphins.
Posted by Rachael on June 12, 2010
Anyone know why so many of the pigeons in London are missing toes? Surely someone cant have burnt off that many toes? I have seen some with missing feet too. Weird.
Posted by Someone on June 12, 2010
Aw, I like pigeons! Pigeons and Sea-gulls are two of the biggest and bravest – and therefore easily visible – birds in towns and whatnot so they’re good to watch when you’re sitting and waiting – at least in my opinion. I suppose they do kind of mass in crazy numbers, but so do we. Who’s to say who has the right of way?
For some reason I love it when pigeons wander around openish buildings like bus stations too. Just awww.
And yeah, there are far more annoying birds out there like crows who just don’t seem to shut up with their incessant cawing! (Not bothered, not bothered…) And swans and geese are vicious. Yep, pigeons should not be chased. They’re just trying to make a living. They’re like chickens, but grey and little and urban. Not sure what my point is there…
Posted by Clembear on June 12, 2010
I must confess I occasionally chase pigeons. I have no intention of catching them and do it as revenge for when they fly towards me near my head. I agree with you that ugly, unsexy animals get a lot of stick, whereas charming, pretty ones get a free pass. Dolphins are really nasty bastards behind the tricks and ball balancing, Flipper was a major PR coup.
Loved the Watership Down line – although pigeons did have Goodpigeons, which was a Goodfellas but with pigeons. It was a regular segment on Animaniacs. Which now I look back on it, its a bit odd.
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 12, 2010
The system works. I’m glad I picked pigeons now, it was a fairly risky move and I could have come over a tit.
I generally respond to pigeons by walking behind them cooing softly. I am proud of my pigeon impression. Occasionally I try to heard one into a branch of WHS but it never works so that’s fine. St. Mark’s Square does annoy me though, that’s too many pigeons. I think if we had the same number of lambs squashed in we wouldn’t like that much either.
Also, if you construed my question “Why Football?” as anger then you were mistaken. However, you now have banned yourself from answering it, so…
Posted by Steph on June 12, 2010
Aesop Watson! It must be the exam pressure making me go crazy because I just laughed out loud like a right fool.
I don’t particularly like Pigeons, and to be honest I think they’ve dealt with the ‘bullying’ fairly well. When they get chased these days, they just move an inch. No worries.
And I hated Watership Down, except for the song Bright Eyes. I love that song.
Posted by Megan on June 12, 2010
I don’t have any trouble with pigeons because, around here, crows are a far bigger nuisance (and, in fact, occasionally attack pigeons). I think I’ve had a soft spot for them since Bert sang about ‘Doin’ the Pigeon’ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPj3G7U-K04) on “Sesame Street”. (One of the rare occasions where you saw him from head to foot too.)
Also, I seem to recall from QI that urban pigeons are actually Rock Doves who see buildings as cliffs (where they would have normally lived in days gone by). I think that’s a pretty cool way to adapt.
Posted by Misha on June 12, 2010
I’ve never ever been able to eat lamb since someone told me (as a fairly small child) it wasn’t in fact a grown up sheep as I’d previously assumed. An interesting phenomena which is slowly spreading to animals generally. I’m clearly just soppy.
I also feel guilty, since when I was down in London for my birthday I did manage to kick a pigeon, although in my defence it was trying to steal my sandwich, and then trying to peck me on the foot for not giving it my sandwich. Other than that I don’t mind pigeons, there are two at the stables that we named. Nigel & Mildred, but confusing Mildred (the first) turned out to be male. We didn’t bother swapping the names though. Pigeon fun!
Posted by Sam on June 12, 2010
First comment.
I missed yesterday’s blog so came to see it, and found a surprisingly early one from today.
I like pigeon’s. One time I saw someone setting fire to a pigeon’s leg in Bath, it was horrid. There were also pigeon’s wondering round with deformed legs. We wondered if a lighter had the adequate heat to melt a pigeons leg, rather than just burn it (as all matter should be able to turn from solid to liquid, its just not always as easy as applying heat). We asked this to AQA. They gave us a lecture about animal cruelty, said it was illegal, and didn’t answer my question. I felt horrid. I never wanted to do it, I was just curious as to whether this sick boy could.
Anyway on a lighter note, as first comment can I ask for you to talk about house-hunting. I’m currently in the grips of it and it so so depressing.