The Very Late Review 3
The mere mention of football yesterday made some people irritable. My intention was to build a bridge between the fan (me) and non-fan (some of you), but some people sounded so weary on the subject of the World Cup that I might abandon the idea of doing occasional round-ups for the layman. I don’t want to lose readers. Hmm. We’ll see.
So. See the football today?
Not really. What we’re actually going to do today is welcome back the Very Late Review. As you may remember, this is the feature where you, the public, or rather the tiny section of the public kind enough to listen to me, get to review stuff. We did two of these a while back, then the admin was too much for me. Now it’s back, thanks to the excellent Megan McLeod, who was given the job of editing around a hundred comments. She rose to this in 24 hours, collating reviews with an average score as well as a ‘diving score’ (which takes out the best and the worst scores, to give a fairer average, as they do in Olympic diving). I have only added the ‘Marksensus’, which is basically our collective opinion in one or two sentences.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to our latest pooling of opinion, and particular ‘props’ to Megan for doing this. At the end of the blog I’ll announce subjects for the next Very Late Review – probably not quite so many, to spare Megan the work if she guest-edits again next time, but still enough to make it fun. As always, post your reviews of any or all of them, beneath this blog.
Wow, it’s brilliant having people helping me. Here we go…
JONAS BROTHERS: Hate, loathing, and the occasional defense (many in Chris H’s vein of ‘not as terrible as you might expect.’) Becca was especially harsh, giving a very precise rating of -46.7/10 along with the comment of ‘Most irritating people in the world who not-surprisingly have the most irritating fan base in the world.’ Most people found the boys chastity and manufactured image annoying, but their squealing, largely girly fans were also despised. Their few defenders even admitted that their music was hokey (in a good way, I suppose).
Fun quotes: ‘Awesome Disney cheese’ (Thomas); ‘Much too celibate for my tastes.’ (Mikey!); ‘Need a slap, a beer and some sexytime,’ (Maddie)
Average score: less than 1/10
Diving score (with lowest and highest removed): 2/10
Nul points: 9 out of 30 reviews
Full marks: 1 out of 30 reviews
Marksensus: Nonsense figures, conjured into pop stars for the young and simple-minded by global empire. Avoid.
TWO AND A HALF MEN: More divisive than expected (IMHO). Many people thought it was hilariously crude (‘Can’t believe it’s American as nothing is sacred’, says Rose) or just plain juvenile (‘One and a Half of these (men) are annoying, nasty, violent little bullies’, says Carla). Frequent complaints about Charlie Sheen’s acting and personal life, the poor writing, and the non-PC things the kid says. Apparently the girls in it are pretty hot, though. Quite of few people say it’s an okay show to watch if nothing else is on. A couple of people worried about Jon Cryer’s career.
Fun quotes: ‘I once spent an evening in the pub playing a game where we imagined ourselves ruthless arbiters of popular culture who killed everyone we decided had had a fair crack of the whip but fell short … the twist was that, instead of focusing on those heading to the wall, you had to identify the least good thing you would suffer to live in various fields … 2 1/2 Men would be a very solid choice for the sitcom category … I mean, it’s not that funny but you can’t kill everyone, can you?’ (Splittter); ‘It’s always on but it’s usually shit.’ (Mikey!); ‘Crude, yes, but undoubtedly the best comedy sitcom out there.’ (fuzzy_ducky (Laura)); ‘If this show was a UK thing, the Daily Mail would have a field day with some of the stuff the kid says/hears.’ (Jonty Hughes)
Average score: 4/10
Diving score: 4/10
Nul points: 2 out of 28 reviews
Full marks: 1 out of 28 reviews
Marksensus: Despite some defenders, most are thoroughly underwhelmed, and some outright offended.
I’M NOT THERE: Pretty much for Dylan fans only. Higher marks for the awesomeness of Cate Blanchett than the film itself, in most cases. Confusingly, pretentiously, or refreshingly bizarre.
Fun quotes: ‘It’s a film that you go out of thinking “that was a really good film, I wish I knew what the fuck it was on about”’ (Mikey!); ‘Confusing, frustrating, swathes of brilliance, ridiculous, meaningful, contrary, moving, shallow… Just like Dylan.’ (Sarah); ‘Depending on how patient you are with it, the film is either an ingenious and inventive way of demonstrating the persona and lifestyle of Bob Dylan or a farcical moronic two hour romp through far too many ideas, most of which don’t make sense on their own.’ (Ben Draper)
Average score: 7/10
Diving score 7/10
Nul points: 0 out of 10 reviews
Full marks: 0 out of 10 reviews
Marksensus: Convoluted, peculiar effort, squarely aimed at Dylan fans, and fairly knowledgeable ones at that. If you’re in that category, it’s pretty good.
.
GOK WAN: Best summed up by Sarah Hazell’s comment ‘Annoying, and yet seems to do wonders for peoples self-esteem.’ Very mixed opinions. Got the lowest rating of anything in the list (a -100/10 from DeborahF, based largely on his performance at Comedy Roast), yet the most 10/10 ratings too. A few people commented on his lack of style, some called him a hypocrite from telling fat women they’re beautiful, then humiliating them on television. Quite a few people commented on his anagrammable name. Apparently, he calls breasts ‘bangers’, which is insulting and/or horrible. Irritatingly camp? Disingenuous TV expert? Or best gay friend for women with low self-esteem? Difficult to say.
Fun quotes: ‘Kudos, however, to him for having reinvented the Trinny and Susannah-dominated world of womenswear shows and for seeming to genuinely believe his own schtick about everyone being beautiful.’ (John); ‘His campaigns for “real women with curves” just serve to make women without curves feel inferior – what is “real women” supposed to mean anyway? A patronising spouter of bullshit who got lucky. Politicians do this sort of thing and we hate them for it.’ (Leah); ‘As a larger lady, I feel I should like him and his empowering ways. However, he irritates me beyond belief and I would actually like to twat him one.’ (Laurs); ‘My thumb is usually leaning on the Sky+ fast forward key before my conscious mind has registered that his huge, slappable face is actually on the screen.’ (EllieCat); ‘The man’s name is an anagram of what I do rather than watch his show whenever it pollutes my telly.’ (Jon)
‘
Average score: 3/10
Diving score: 5.5/10
Nul points: 2 out of 49 reviews
Full marks: 3 out of 49 reviews
Marksensus: Despite the low score, he has many fans; 5.5/10 probably a fairer reflection of opinion. Depending on your viewpoint, he is a fearless crusader for female self-regard (good), or an effete dickhead (bad), or, just possibly, a bit of both.
DORITOS: By far the most reviewed item in the list. Cheesy (or not), tasty, cardboardy. A lot of complaints about the messiness, but generally the consensus was that Doritos are a pretty delightful snack, in small doses or when drunk especially. This was the first weird culture shock thing I had because I didn’t know that there was Doritos DIP. Blarghgsds. Regardless of of how gross that sounds, many people gave Doritos a slightly higher ‘with dip’ rating. Yikes. A few people commented on their opposition to triangular food (see also Toblerones), others thought that the ingredients list for Doritos should be an automatic “DO NOT EAT” warning. Favourite ever review/rating combo from EllieCat: ‘I will have a Dorito-shaped tombstone over my plus-size grave. 0/10, yet, paradoxically, 10/10′
Fun quotes: ‘Doritos have the texture of carboard and the taste of ming.’ (glamlovinkitty); ‘possibly the best triangular shaped Mexican food.’ (fuzzy ducky (Laura); ‘very easy to eat one big bag in one sitting. And then you feel awful afterwards.’ (Kathryn)
Average score: 5.5/10
Diving score: 6/10
Nul points: 3 out of 59 reviews
Full marks: 2 out of 59
Marksensus: A guilty pleasure for many, though despised by a few. Most regard them as good in small doses; very dangerous in larger.
ECSTASY: The most reviewed thing that most people had not actually experienced first-hand. Generally, the sentiment was that DRUGS ARE BAD (shocking, really). Even those who had tried it didn’t have great things to say about. Best summed up by Marie with ‘I had a really good night. But, as I said, it’s not something I’ll do again. I know someone who lost a very close family member because of Ecstacy – it’s not worth risking your life over.’
Fun quotes: ‘Less addictive than Doritos. Maybe about as addictive as Quavers. Less pleasant than Quavers. Stick to Quavers.’ (Jon); ‘Also, because if it wasn’t for ecstacy Bad Boys II wouldn’t have had the Shakespearean tradgedy of a tale that made it so poignant.’ (Irwin); ‘As a New Englander I simply wasn’t comfortable with being THAT happy.’ (LisaD); ‘My personal opinion is that it is a waste of time and not really worth the risks involved or the 3-4 hours of acting like a prat.’ (Maddie)
Average score: 2.5/10
Diving score: 2.5/10
Nul points: 12 of out 27 reviews
Full marks: 1 out of 27, but it wasn’t serious (I think)
Marksensus: Overall, the Watson community takes a dim view of this once very fashionable drug, with its notoriously uplifting qualities seen as not enough to compensate for its dangers. Just say no.
JERUSALEM: Only three reviews from people who’d seen it, one from one who hadn’t. Very, very good, by all accounts from actual theatregoers.
Fun quotes: ‘Excellent. I can’t stand Mark Rylance, and I still really enjoyed it.’ (Chris H); ‘Probably the best thing I saw at the theatre last year’ (Kirsten); ‘it only loses a point for being better than i am able to put into words’ (gib)
Average score: 8.5/10
Diving score: 9/10
Full marks: 1 out of 4 reviews
Marksensus: Not enough reviews to be definitive, but almost everyone who’s seen it loves it.
PAINTBALL: Those who like it like it a lot, but warn of severe bruising, paint in hair, and high prices. A lot of people seem to have a problem with glorifying weaponry/war in a ‘fun’ way, but others said that it’s good, non-violent(ish) way to vent frustrations. A couple of people referenced “Byker Grove” and a character getting a paintball in the face. Yikes. Makes me glad that I’m only vaguely aware of “Byker Grove”.
Fun quotes: ‘ Slightly more dangerous and painful than laserquest, but it has been responsible for things like the great paintball scene in Spaced.’ (Miss Knee); ‘A fabulous activity as it give violent nerds a bruising outlet for their pent up aggression, leaving us placid ones alone to enjoy the quiet.’ (Al Knapp); ‘If you dislike pain, possibly avoid – unless for a stag night in which case just suck it up…stupidity makes good stories.’ (Hal)
Average score: 5.5
Diving score: 5.5
Nul points: 2 out of 31 reviews
Full marks: 1 out of 31 reviews
Marksensus: An acquired taste; exciting, but painful. How much you’ll like it depends on how much you would probably like being in an actual war. Worth trying. Unlike actual war.
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
way too late, but:
Center Parcs – why is it spelt that way?
i went on a center parks holiday in nottingham when i was about 7 or 8 – still young enough to share a bath with two other kids – we thought the jacuzzi feature in the bath was the most amazing thing ever!
i remember generally enjoying it all, being quite excited by MTV, and loving all the swimming pools.
i did not like the fact that all the chalets looked so identical, one day i ended up walking into the chalet of a family of complete strangers…superbly embarrassing.
thinking back now, though, i do find teh whole dome thing more than a little strange – i like rain and other changes in weather.
so, maybe a 6/10 – fine if you want to get away from it all – with an emphasis on ‘all’
Posted by Paul on June 25, 2010
James Corden – everything, he has done has been distinctly crap, apart from that recent Doctor Who episode. From slagging off Patrick Stewart to being in “Little Britain crap rip off of an initial show got tired pretty quickly anyway” About as funny as David Dimbleby on question time. He gets a point for Dr Who
1/10
Sex and the City 2 – Would only have been good if I had a blindfold and earmuffs, watching 3 woman who could almost pass for the golden girls and a horse on screen in a borderline racist streched plot is the makings of a good joke but a horrible film.
0/10
Alpen – Like sticking your face in rabbit food but… better than anything so far
2/10
Snorkeling – Peaceful, interesting (depending on where), would love to do it somewhere which wasn’t a muddy river or a swimming pool… Whilst my experiences havent been great I aim to recreate one of those old James Bond underwater scenes one day… except a bit more up to date… and without the sharks…
7/10
Posted by Patrick on June 20, 2010
James Corden -
I haven’t seen him barely at all, other than in that one episode of Doctor Who, so I’ll base it all on that. It was very good! Not too comedic, like I was expecting from him, so that’s good. I think he’s probably quite nice in real life and stuff too.
7.5/10
Posted by Adam K on June 17, 2010
Only three things on this list I feel I can comment on:
James Corden. A mixed bag. Gavin And Stacey was good, and he was good in it, but Horne And Corden was unbelieveably shit. The kind of person who is better in things than as a guest on things (Like Gervais, Brand and, especially, Walliams) Just don’t get him to host your award show. Split down the middle for G+S/H+C, minus a couple of points for being annoying, plus a couple for seeming genuinely nice. 5/10
30 Rock. Fan. Tastic. occasionally a little unfocused and sometimes too smarmy for it’s own good, but otherwise quite the best sitcom on TV today. Never thought I’d say this, because he’s never stood out in anything I’ve seen him in, but Alec Baldwin is brilliant. 9/10
Alpen: Nice muesli. That, I feel, is an achievement in itself. 7/10
Posted by Joe F on June 16, 2010
Snorkelling
Initially not very enjoyable as i ended up with a mouthful of nasty salty water but once i got
the hang of it I found it incredible. Very important to do it somewhere good and I did it on the great barrier reed. Absolutely incredible
experience, and I found nemo.
10/10
James Corden
Loved gav and stace, hated pretty much everything else he has done.
4/10
Posted by Eccles on June 16, 2010
Let’s give this a go then:
SEX AND THE CITY 2 – I enjoyed it. I’ve seen some of the TV series, but didn’t watch it regularly and went to the first movie. I thought it was funny, escapist, and had some good moments (the Charlotte & Miranda being a mum is hard scene was nicely done). I don’t think it was any less realistic than any other film, because let’s face it the average film isn’t grounded in reality.
Yes is is pretty culturally insensitive/ignorant. Yes it isn’t perfect. But if there were more movies aimed at women/about women/starring women it wouldn’t need to be “perfect”. (Sorry to get on my soapbox for a minute there)
I’m still going to give it 10/10 because I dislike the irrational hatred of anything to do with Sex And The City.
CENTER PARCS – I went when I was younger (maybe 7?) and had just had chicken pox. My main memory is being grabbed by either parent whenever I got out of the pool and wrapped in a towel straight away so the other parents didn’t see the pock marks (I wasn’t contagious, but still had them). I remember liking the swimming pool a lot. Then my sister fell over and cracked her head open on the poolside. She was fine, had a trip to the hospital (not uncommon for her, most childhood holidays involved taking her to a doctor at least once) and they put some purple liquid on it and sent her home. I can’t really say much about the actual park but it gave lasting memories. 6/10
SNORKELLING – I like the idea of snorkelling, but I can’t do it. Whenever I try I get water in the mask and it’s annoying. I know people who love it though so I guess I’ll say 7/10.
Posted by Simon on June 15, 2010
JAMES CORDEN’s idea of wit is exposing his fat belly. Unfunny but inexplicably admired. Like Catherine Tate or Jonathan Ross.
Definitely a 0/10
I loved CENTER PARCS from what I remember of it as a kid but I understand it’s rather expensive.
A rose tinted 9/10 from me.
Posted by Gilly on June 15, 2010
-SEX AND THE CITY 2 : Saw it with my mother – was too young to watch the TV show while it was on, but have since picked it up in reruns (and went to see the first movie with friends). Perfectly ordinary and expected. Made me giggle at the time, the opposite of a way-homer (a joke you get on the way home), a movie you realize was only mildly amusing on the way home. After so much hype it was not what was expected. But DEAR GOD HOW MUCH MONEY DID THEY SPEND ON THOSE CLOTHES? The HATS, people, the HATS! 5/10
-JAMES CORDEN: Nowhere near as annoying as David Walliams. I enjoyed G&S, and his appearances on panel things, but he’s so far overhyped he becomes annoying without doing anything. And I live many miles away from most of the press coverage. 8/10 (2/10 for the media)
-CENTER PARCS: As I child I saw this as a kind of far away fairy land, and I have seen no evidence to the contrary. Fairies: 10/10
-ALPEN (cereal) What is this? *Googles*
-30 ROCK (TV show) Never seen in, very little desire to. The bits I’ve seen I’ve found quite boring 3/10
-SNORKELLING. Yes please. Concept: 10/10 I would like to do this.
Posted by Maddie on June 15, 2010
James Corden – Something somewhere tells me to hate him, but I can’t help it, when he pops up in various places on the tele, I have to smile. Even if he isn’t being particularly funny, I find his grin infectious. 5/10.
Center Parcs – I love Center Parcs. Swimming, cycling, encouraging younger members of your group to get drunk, middle of the night walks to go and play in the children’s playground, tree climbing, inevitable fire-alarms going off and the pancake house! ahh Center Parcs. 10/10
Alpen – Yummy Scrummy! Probably my third favourite cereal after Crunchy Nut and CoCo Pops. I like to add more sultanas and sometimes chop up a banana with it too. Oddly, I never eat cereal for breakfast. Still, very nice. Although, make sure you have just the right amount of milk with it, otherwise it can go a bit stodgy towards the bottom of the bowl. 6/10. (Would have been 7, but deducted another point for remembering potential stodgyness).
Posted by Nick P on June 14, 2010
JAMES CORDEN – First and foremost, I adore Gavin and Stacey. I’ve seen every episode a few times, have the dvd’s and yet will still all-too-readily watch whenever a repeat pops up on BBC3 or GOLD, and there are not many shows I would say that about. So as co-creator, he’s off to a good start (and he’s good in it as well).
For the most part I like him even without taking G&S into consideration. Pretty good in the panel show appearances I’ve seen, especially as host on the sports one he did for Sky. The skits for Comic/Sports Relief have been more hit than miss. Seemed totally in the right in that spat with Patrick Stewart to me. His Guardian(?) article the other day about supporting England was absolutely on the money. According to someone I trust implicitly who has met him, he is ‘an absolute sweetheart’. Even Horne and Corden was… passable.
On the flipside, a tendency to labour the ‘fat’ point a little and to be a little too ‘Smithy’ in inappropriate/unnecessary situations can grate – think he’s intelligent enough to not have to resort to that quite so readily. And it’s indisputable that his over-exposure is now well and truly underway – haven’t caught his world cup show yet, partly through fear. Relatively minor quibbles though, so he gets a solid 8.5/10 from me.
Only other thing on the list I can review with any remote scrap of authority is CENTER PARCS – went when I was about ten to the Sherwood Forest one (it burnt down, at least partly, not long after we’d been, unrelated I hope). Get the feeling I would hate it now, but really quite enjoyed it at the time. A picture of me with a hilarious blond mop of hair collecting an award at a soccer school run by some old Notts County player still takes pride of place on a lower shelf of my parents’ bookcase. The big dome-housed pool with the rapids was enjoyable. I don’t remember a lot else about it if I’m honest, but had the Very Late Review been around in 1992 I’d have probably given it an 8/10. Having subsequently been on holiday in some slightly more exotic and interesting locations, I’ll give it a 6/10 now.
Posted by Mark D on June 14, 2010
SEX AND THE CITY 2 – Haven’t seen the film, so I wouldn’t rate it but I have gotten some enjoyment from the reviews that it has been getting, some of the reviewers are using really creative language and smilies.
JAMES CORDEN – have seen him in a few different shows and thought that he was very funny, Gavin and Stacy, was his best, he had the character down perfectly. Also he seems to be everywhere at the moment. Also he is a bit over eager at times but it is not an issue.
But other times I have seen him presenting shows, I would find some of his jokes offensive and unfunny, I wouldn’t even laugh at the joke that he made. 4/10
CENTER PARCS – never been.
ALPEN – ok taste, but I not a fan of all off the ingredients in it, so can only eat so: 3/10
30 ROCK – excellent show, brilliant characters, it does show how good of an actor Alec Baldwin is, has some memorable lines. 9/10
SNORKELLING – good fun, but only done it in a pool, scary at the start for me, very enjoyable once you get the hang of it. 8/10
Posted by Ben on June 14, 2010
Center Parcs – On the one hand has lots of things to do and can be pretty fun if you’re under the age of 17. Anybody over 17 should stay well away unless with a family. Full of children, who are generally middle class and well behaved, but aren’t exactly cool to hang around.
James Corden – Eurgh. But occasionally makes me laugh. Gavin & Stacey was hilarious. Doctor Who was funny – but only because he was wearing a suit. 4/10
Alpen – Eurgh. And it never makes me laugh. Imagine laughing whilst eating Alpen? Disgusting gooey porridge-like mess everywhere. Nutritious though. 1/10
Posted by Someone on June 14, 2010
I was nae going to post on this because I don’t know much about any of the topics BUT Corden is everywhere at the moment so I thought I’d put my two cents in:
Basically I think he’s pretty mediocre – Gavin and Stacey is pretty standard background telly; take it or leave it. I didn’t actually mind Horne and Corden – not sure if i’m the only one! But there are worse sketch shows out there! And he was alright in Dr. Who, but say on big fat quiz of the year he seemed pretty big-headed and opinionated, as he does whenever he’s on the telly. And loud!! I think he’s got some skill and he seems pretty outgoing in his comedy skits and ideas and whatnot.. but he could, in my humble yet bigoted opinion, be better.
And finally of course there’s the recent row with Patrick Stewart which upset me deeply! It’s so conflicting to watch because you, of course, want to back Stewart! But he did seem a little out of his depth and I think there was probably some background to it all that we didn’t see as Corden was bloody vicious!! Didn’t like that at all so… for all those reasons, I give him a 4.
(I’d've given Horne >5 (I liked Roman’s Empire))
Posted by Laura-B on June 13, 2010
Alpen tastes like wood shavings and would earn 3/10, but the recent advertising campaign has been vaguely amusing. It can have 4.5/10 based on that.
I like James Corden. Well, I like him in that I think he’s a bit of a knob, but at least he’s not pretending to be anything else. Gavin and Stacey was bloody funny, and is unfortunately becoming a victim of it’s own success – everyone likes it now, so it’s not cool to like it anymore. If only it was still a “cult” show on BBC 3. 8/10
The new Sex and the City film is not great. But my experience of it was massively improved by the excitable gay couple next to me, who clapped and cheered everytime Sarah Jessica Parker appeared on screen. They had clearly seen the film several times before and were commentating on all the outfits. “And now, here comes Carrie in the gold D&G one-shoulder number…” Priceless. Enthusiastic couple – 12/10, SATC2 – 6/10
Posted by Heather on June 13, 2010
Oops, forgot the numerical value judgments!
I would give James Corden 8/10, since I get the impression from reading the comments that he might annoy me if I lived in the UK and was exposed to him. But I really liked him in Doctor Who, and Gavin & Stacey was so cute!
Snorkeling gets 9.9/10, since I still bear a slight grudge for the mouthfuls of water I chocked on as a child.
Posted by Heather on June 13, 2010
I love James Corden as an actor and comedian, but don’t know much about him as a person. He seems nice?
And snorkeling is fun! You can see sub-aquatic… stuff! And I find it much easier as an adult to swim in such a way that the top of my snorkel is not submerged than I did as a child.
Posted by MusicalLottie on June 13, 2010
Mark, could you please reintroduce having one very common thing for those of us who don’t feel qualified to comment on many of the others? You could maybe say it’s for those who are only be able to review fewer than a certain number of the rest, so that Megan isn’t overwhelmed having to collate hundreds of reviews for said Very Common Thing.
Did that make any sense? I hope so, because I have to admit that I felt a little left out only being able to very feebly review one on this week’s list …
Posted by issey on June 13, 2010
CENTER PARCS – i last went when i was 10 for a birthday party. was fun until i cut the sole of my foot open on a rock. it became less enjoyable after that especially as i was unable to walk for 2 months that followed.
1/10
ALPEN – reminds me of the noise someone makes when eating soup, not slurping at it but opening their mouth too wide + inhaling it. sounds abit like ‘haalpen haalpen haalpen” but quite throaty. pisses me off
0/10
might as well end this on a high
JAMES CORDEN – love him lots + lots with jelly tots. his laugh is incredible!
9/10
SNORKELLING – pretty cool thing to do especially if it’s in warm clear/turquoise water with pretty little fishies
but i guess if you don’t like swimming or putting your face in the water, it’s not the best activity to do
8/10
Posted by Idris on June 13, 2010
Uqhvshajqj. Why did I press publish!! I’ll continue
are less intelligent or creative than a Mark Watsom. I don’t even think he’s a comedian. Just some sort of funny personality that you would invite to a FIFA 10 party. Anyway he has had to work hard, enduring failure, then more failure, ooh and some more failure. But it doesn’t mean he can act snobby when he’s gets the spotlight. 7/10 for me.
Alpen – Coco Pops all the way. 2/10
30 Rock – OMG I LUV THIS SHOW! LOL
No fans aren’t usually like this but I watch it every Monday on my tightly scheduled TV plan on Comedy Central. For me Alec Baldwin steals the show as the suave republican business man, “LASER SHEILD!”. Overall it’s just a great ensemble cast with great satire and truly outrageous situation comedy. 9/10
that’s pretty much all I can comment on.
Posted by Idris on June 13, 2010
Been behind on the blog but this feature is overwhelming. So I’ll do my part to contribute to such a unifying experiment of the Watson community.
James Corden – Now I’m not ahamed to admit that he has made me laugh. Then again I laugh hysterically at almost anything, ooh squirrel fell off a tree. Hehe. But it’s not fair to attach him to Chav Culture just because his jokes
Posted by Ben Draper on June 13, 2010
So far i have been featured in all the late reviews but four I feel may be one too many, knowing very little about any of these things.
JAMES CORDEN – I want to like James Corden but he makes it very hard. Gavin and Stacey was one of the best comedy dramas for a while and it was funny and beautiful but that is the one good thing he has done. Nothing else I saw has been particularly impressive. Also, his episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks wasn’t nearly as good as yours, although that was almost entirely Chicos fault. Very very jealous about Chico. Also I hear he is a right bastard, he won like 4 baftas or something and then moaned about not getting another one. He does seem to do a lot for comic relief and stuff though. I’m not convinced.
3/10
ALPEN – Nothing like as good as Special K. They were one of the first cereals to shape their product into a bar though i think which is something we can all benefit from.
5/10
(Special K gets 9/10)
CENTER PARKS – I went there when I was a baby and I remember nothing about it except that a squirrel came into our room. Which was brilliant.
7/10
SATC2 – I’ve not seen it but my mom told me what happens in it and she said that they sort of liberate Asia and put an end to oppression by talking about boning and throwing condoms at saleswomen. I don’t think that would work in the Midlands and it sure as hell wouldn’t work over there. The whole film sounds like one big dance number where the hero makes the transformation from zero to hero but without the music and with heels that no one could ever dance in.
2/10 (for at least trying to be topical)
Posted by Kate B on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN- Although I’m not a huge Gavin & Stacey fan I find I am drawn to his loveable and cute personality. Admittedly, he does sometimes try too hard to be funny, making him slightly annoying. And he has become way too popular causing him to develop a slight cockiness but overall I think he seems like a genuinely nice and well-meaning guy. 6/10
CENTRE PARCS- I first went for my friend’s 12th birthday party and I remember it being the most fun thing I have ever done since I went to Disneyland Paris a few years previously. However, a couple of years later both my friend and I saved up for another trip there. I found when I got there it was hugely dissapointing. It might have been that I had gone there in such high hopes or that I had expected it to be good because of the price we had to pay but I found the house smelt funny and the walls in the kitchen where damp and slightly mouldy. The hire bikes weren’t great, which would have been fine if it wasn’t for the large sum you have to pay. The pools were probably the most enjoyable part, but you could easily find ones of equal standard somewhere else. Overall, a bit of a disapointment, but I’d say it’s a good family holiday if you have children of younger ages. 4.5/10
SNORKELLING- Love it! It is highly enjoyable and a really good way to see fish. A lot better in places with more exciting sea life but I still manage to have a good time snorkelling off the coast of Norfolk. However, I would advice people that enjoy it to move onto scuba diving, as it gives you a chance to see even more amazing things and is really really fun! 10/10
Posted by Iona on June 12, 2010
James corden – I like him. I think he is more intelligent than he comes across. He wrote an article in the times a few days ago about… the world cup (shocker). I was surprised about how good it was and it made me like him more. He seems like a genuinely nice guy though I could see how he could get a bit annoying. Also he wrote Gavin and stacey which makes him a comedic genius, would saying “the Einstein of sitcoms” be going a bit far? I think it would but anyway. I’ve said it now. 8/10
Center parcs – loses a point immediately for the American spelling (sorry but I’m a grammar/ English-spelling nerd. How ironic if I make a grammar mistake in this comment). I’ve only been once and it was ok. But I was quite young. One of the little girls in a ballet class I teach had her front teeth knocked out at center parcs. 3/10
Snorkelling – very good. Relaxing. I presume a less scary version of diving (I’ve only been snorkelling, not diving) 10/10
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on June 12, 2010
I haven’t had a chance to read the other reviews (apart from 2) but anyway:
Centre Parcs: We went during Euro ’96 and the bar was having a competition on the half time score. My brother won it and he got free Coca-Cola merchandise, he hates both football and coke (I was VERY gutted as I love them both – a strop may have occured (I was 5))
Then my football floated away in the lake.
Apart from that it was fun. Lots to do.
Overall: 6/10 from a vague memory 13 years ago.
Snorkeling: Amazing until water goes up/down the snorkel which in turn makes you splash around and catch your leg on coral reefs.
overall: 8.2/10
Posted by lisan66 on June 12, 2010
answering Joelle Stanton: There are actually a lot of Muslim women who wear designer clothes. In the Middle East, many of there husbands own oil and so they can afford it. They can show the outfits off in the copany of their husbands/just other women.
Posted by SamJJ on June 12, 2010
I haven’t taken part in the late review before but am taking the opportunity whilst the football *yawns* is on.
I enjoyed going to see SATC2. But mainly because it was my first visit to a baby friendly showing with my 14 week old boy. (Mark, really recommend this activity with Kit). Coffee and cake was included in ticket price which was served in our seats. The boy behaved impeccably. And the film was not at all taxing for my new parent knackered brain to cope with. The content of the film was bloody awful but I didn’t care, I had my cake. 7/10.
I loved James Corden in history boys and Gavin and Stacey. But found him v v annoying in corden and Horne and the same pretty much whenever I’ve seen him as himself. 7/10.
Centre Parcs – haven’t been for years but used to go regularly with my family in my teens. Between my mum and step dad there are 5 kids all roughly the same age. They took us to lanzarote and we went out drinking til the early hours causing no end of stress. After that it was always centre parcs where you have to wear a tag to prove your age for drink. My parents problems were solved. We still had great fun bowling and on the rapids though. Nowadays I,d rather go camping. 6/10.
Alpen – not sure I’ve ever had alpen but like muesli in general so score is for generic muesli. 8/10.
30 Rock – no comment as never seen it.
I love, love, love Snorkelling! I could spend hours floating around watching the underwater world go by. We had part of our honeymoon in the Maldives and the water was so clear it was amazing! Egypt also very good place to snorkel. As mentioned by others watch out for getting burnt! 10/10.
Posted by grace on June 12, 2010
James Corden = Love him, Gavin and Stacey is pure genius and he’s brilliant in the History Boys. He was really good in Dr Who but A League of Their Own wasn’t great, probably down to the guests.
9/10
Snorkelling = really good in a swimming pool to play underwater frisbee but did it in the sea in gran caneria and my friend and I got freaked out by a particularly ugly fish panicked and got out the water asap! possibly better where the sea is clearer. 5.5/10
Alpen = not tried it but they sponsor Grey’s Anatomy and the adverts are really really annoying.
Posted by MusicalLottie on June 12, 2010
I wasn’t going to post because I don’t really know much about James Corden and nothing about any of the others, but I had to respond to this:
“S.A.T.C.2 Am I the only female who hates clothes shopping and only wears shoes to protect my feet from the pavement?
”
I’m not keen on clothes shopping, though I don’t generally *hate* it unless the shop is crowded. I also have no interest in shoes other than for practicality – I’m so glad to find I’m not the only one!
James Corden annoys me. I can’t even say whether he seems particularly intelligent or not. I enjoyed G&S but Smithy was annoying, and -10 after seeing the trailer for his football programme, reminding me of how annoying I find him. -10/10
Posted by Beth (Bloomability) on June 12, 2010
-JAMES CORDEN- I quite like James Corden, tbh. He was pretty good in Doctor Who and brilliant in Gavin & Stacey and Horne & Corden, but has been seen to act like an utter twazzock occasionally. 7.8/10
-SNORKELLING
I haven’t actually snorkelled in the sea, but I had snorkelling lessons in a swimming pool in Wales twice. It was an interesting experience but probably would have been better with fish to look at instead of a few discarded hairbobbles and plasterson the bottom of the pool. My uncle goes quite often though (in the actual sea), and he loves it, so 6.7/10 from me.
Posted by Dawn on June 12, 2010
I really like James Corden!
Years ago he was in a series called “Fat Friends” and it was brilliant.
I absolutely LOVE Gavin and Stacey and I can’t believe i am actually watching Doctor Who cos James is in it.
When my kids were little we couldn’t afford to go to Center Parcs but my Sister and her family used to go a few times inbetween their “real” holidays abroad! I have felt bitter about Center Parcs ever since!
S.A.T.C.2 Am I the only female who hates clothes shopping and only wears shoes to protect my feet from the pavement?
Posted by Chris on June 12, 2010
This is not a review but as a film fan there’s a few things that are bothering me. There has been barely any rational explanations for most of the opinions expressed by anybody on the subject of SATC 1/2/tv series. There is also a perception that this is an issue dividing men and women. This is bogus and here is why.
I’ve not seen SATC2 (I will admit now I have not seen but I do have problems with it, based on principals and are not based on script/acting/directing etc) but it always interests me that the females seem very quick to be overly defensive over it and get very touchy over issues concerning gender. I know many girls who hate the film and everything it stands for (just like you my dear reader will no doubt do too, but these people are generally ignored), therefore it is not a film for all women, it is a film for some women and not others, just like all films. Somehow this one has been taken by some and then claimed to represent all.
From what I can put together it’s a film than males get criticized for criticizing and females seem unable to evaluate in terms of it being a film and not some sort of social statement. But remember, that’s not where the real divide is anyway, is it?
My issues with the film are more class based and I disagree heavily with the attitudes towards men (more to come on that) and the outrageous promotion of commercialism. It would be interesting to see an female reviews sharing these points of view and would be even more interested if anybody can give a review of the film based on merits (no actual breakdown of character development/cinematography/score to be seen anywhere) as opposed to getting up in arms and turning it into some boys vs girls primary school battle (all this is aimed in general an not necessarily directed at reviews read on the blog).
Mark Kermode at the BBC gave an entertaining and in depth review that is balanced and does not focus on issues concerning gender.
Not sure if this all counts as me being mean and getting a 0/10 myself as I was trying to to be mean/review it, just pointing out issues with its principals as well as (more importantly) the difficulty in reviewing it amongst the hype. Films with similar attitudes aimed at pleasing the male market get a serious kicking (Imagine a male equivalent, and I will most likely hate that for the same reasons I give for not watching SATC2).
The only question I personally want answering is, if I watched the film and still had the same point of view, would my opinions become acceptable or does my gender mean that I have no right to say anything?
Either way Chris Pollington gets 0/10 then every-body’s happy (My lil sister (aged 18) just said she hates the film too, but she’s a lady so technically that makes all the difference and her opinion should therefore be more valid than mine?)
Maybe some day we will get a review of the film and not a review of the hype combined with people taking sides. If somebody could just tell me what they though of the directing….
What I am trying to say is can we all calm down a bit here.
I am expecting an absolute barrage of retaliation.
edit: can anybody even name the director or have I totally missed the point here?
I really like Centre Parcs, it’s a bit of a middle class mecca so it’s filled with middle class people but other than that it’s fine for a weekend away if you have plenty of money which I don’t. There’s several so maybe some are not as nice as the one I went to by the looks of some other reviews.
Posted by EmmaT on June 12, 2010
Bloomin’ heck, it seems like I have posted a comment on the blog for ages… but I love the Very Late Review so I am back!
CENTRE PARCS: I thought I would hate it, I am quite an independent traveller with a habit of going to far off lands. I was dreading going when my cousin suggested a load of us go but I was so wrong. Bloody loved it. We went at a quiet time of year, hired bikes to get around, swam and did some very competitive rapid races in the super fun swimming pool, played tennis and Badminton, bowled, abseiled, and a whole load more. Definitely not something you can judge until you go there. Have been again since for another cousins hen do (which are not allowed really) where we drank alot in our somewhat aged villas and then did the aforementioned activities whilst incredibly hungover. 8/10
SNORKLING: Again only seem to be able to answer the activity based questions. Snorking is amazing and so much easier than getting all kitted out to go diving(although that is also bloody amazing) and also it does not make me feel as claustraphobic as diving does. I did some snorkling in Fiji and Aus and saw reef sharks (scary but not dangerous) loggerhead turtles (duuuuude), clown fish and huge amounts of starfish to name the more well know of sea based creatures. Not quite sure about snorkling in the murky waters of the UK though. One tip though… you will burn your back quite seriously if like me you lose track of time because you are so enthralled by what you are seeing. It is truely awesome 10/10.
Posted by Meg on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN – 4/10
I think he’s alright and a pretty good actor but I hated all the Comic Relief stuff he did. It was just so embarrassing! I suppose that might be because it was with Davina McCall and the two of them together was just too much. I wish him well though.
30 ROCK – 9/10
I love this TV show! It is pure genius and has my whole family rolling around laughing. The first series was absolutely fantastic, but the second series wasn’t as good. However the third series really made up for it! It is the most consistently funny TV programme around and Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are amazing together!
Posted by Rachael on June 12, 2010
Oh wait thats a 10/10 for Corden if it wasn’t obvious!
Posted by Rachael on June 12, 2010
James Corden: I love the man. He is a great actor, a great writer and always has something funny to say. I have yet to see anything he has done which I do not love. Also, I like his laugh.
Posted by JennyB on June 12, 2010
SEX AND THE CITY 2
I’ll admit, I’m a fan of the series and of the first film. Was quite excited to see this new one, and went with my friends to see it on the day it was released. It was AWFUL. There was no real storyline to it, the only major problem faced by the main character was solved instantly and the other characters didn’t feature much. In fact the four women became so dislikable in this movie that you stopped rooting for them and instead hoped that the men in their lives would come to their senses and run. However, my biggest problem with this film was how culturally insensitive it was. Instead of respecting customs in Dubai and attempting to fit in, they poke fun at them and deliberately flout laws assuming that they will just get away with it (which they do).
Extremely dissappointing: 1/10 (only redeeming feature is a funny cameo appearance at the beginning)
JAMES CORDEN
Love him in History Boys, Gavin and Stacy, A League of their Own, and (surprisingly) the duet with Dizzee Rascal. Just wish he would stop turning up everywhere else. Will reserve judgement for Doctor Who tonight though. 6/10
CENTER PARCS
Not bad for a short holiday that is, in reality, only a couple of hours away from your house. Bit expensive though. From my experience Longleat is the best one. 7/10
30 ROCK
Hilarious. I’d recommend anyone to give it a go, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are brilliant: 10/10
SNORKELLING
Did this once in Redang Island in Malaysia, and I really enjoyed it. However, if you aren’t a confident swimmer and don’t explore further away from the shore, it is a bit like sticking your head in a fish tank. 9/10
Posted by Clembear on June 12, 2010
Hmm, I feel dishonest because I toned down my ecstasy review from last time now, – its illegal obviously but really fun. And it used to be used as a medicine to encourage people to open up in psychotherapy and be able to deal with trauma while feeling happy. So a complex chemical.
James Corden – Mixed feelings – he’s everywhere which annoys me out of jealousy. I find him a bit much as well sometimes, and I think his public persona is playing a character, so he feels a bit fake to me too. But then he co-wrote Gavin and Stacey which I really like. And this happened: I once passed him in the street as he was chatting on his mobile phone. He had rung someone’s PA, and so said,
“Can you tell Ruth, its James.
(Pause)
(much quieter voice) Corden.”
I like that he was quite bold and then worried his writing partner wouldn’t know it was him and so had to clarify. I liked the flash of vulnerability, so warmed to him. I just wish he didn’t act like Smithy in public. 8.5 out of 10.
Alpen – middle class yummy Swiss brekkie. Mmmmm.
30 Rock – I’ve got the 3 box sets and think its very, very funny indeed. Tina Fey is a hero of mine, the rest of the cast are brilliant, and I love it. Especially Kenneth. And Alec Baldwin is still on my would list. i
Snorkelling – Very fun, but very strange when you do it for the first time, as you have to overcome the fear you’re drowning. I went on the Great Barrier Reef and it was great. And when I was small, my parents bought me a snorkel so that I would take more baths. And it worked, although I just spent bathtime underwater. Sadly I can’t recreate this now until I get a hot tub. 10/10.
Posted by Daniel on June 12, 2010
ooh and it features cameos from Mark’s friend Al Gore! “A whale is in danger. I have to go.”
Posted by Daniel on June 12, 2010
30 Rock: The best modern American comedy. Superbly written and acted. So already far greater than most American comedies. It is engaging and hilarious and addictive. Most importantly it is clever, which is refreshing in US comedy. Rather than crude jokes and people falling over, it is cynical, satirical and has people falling over. Plus every character is brilliant. There is no way you cannot love Kenneth. 10/10
Posted by Laura on June 12, 2010
Am I the only person getting a tad annoyed about the way people have started posting silly ‘first’ comments on here? Perhaps that could feature in the Very Late Review at some point…
James Corden: In dire danger of total over-exposure. Have a soft spot for him because of being Fat Gareth in Boys Unlimited (why doesn’t someone release that on DVD?). Gavin and Stacey was overrated and he now seems to believe all the hyperbolic bullshit spouted about him. Undoubted moments of comedy genius (his acceptance speech at the Empire Awards on behalf of Keira Knightley is a stand-out) but just everywhere now. Why is he turning up in Dr Who? Also, he was mean about Patrick Stewart who, in my opinion, is totally beyond reproach.
5/10.
Alpen: lovely. The ultimate muesli in that it gets the right ration of fruits, nuts and seeds. Others are often too much hard work to eat, especially in the morning, but Alpen gets it just right.
8/10
Posted by Tom Beasley on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN
I can guarantee now that he will be the most reviewed item on the list, simply because he is fucking everywhere. He is one of those people who can be hilarious in small doses, but gets on your tits after some long term exposure, much like people falling over (take note You’ve Been Framed!).
Everything he does in character as Smithy is absolutely brilliant. That character is a genius creation and it suits Corden’s energetic comedy style rather well. Hell, I was even part of the minority of people who thought that bits (only bits mind!) of Horne & Corden were very funny. However, as soon as Corden splits out of character mode and becomes himself, he annoys the fuck out of me.
All he seems to be able to come up with in this situation (and for most of Horne & Corden) is stupid jokes about being fat, which work in moderation, but not when you saturate your stuff with them. The fact that he is heralded as a genius by everyone who likes dumbass comedy is also rather worrying as that only serves to increase the level of exposure we all have to see.
So to summarise, stick to Smithy and get the fuck off my telly for a couple of months. That, and stop duetting with Dizzee Rascal.
6/10
Posted by amycool on June 12, 2010
James Corden
I loved Gavin and Stacey and The History Boys, I thought he was good on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and I even found a lot of Horne and Corden funny.
But I agree that there’s something about him that grates. A little arrogant perhaps and a little attention seeking. I guess those qualities are quite common in the world of TV though.
I’m going to assume that his apparent arrogance is a by-product of low self-esteem and wanting to be loved and give him a 7/10
I was always slightly jealous of my center-parcs-going friends and the low scores have cheered me up.
I can’t even watch clips of SATC without wanting to claw my eyes out so I’m afraid I will also have to pass on that one.
Posted by Ally on June 12, 2010
Snorkelling – I have only been once – but that was in Hawaii so extra points… but it was raining so minus points. Took about half an hour to get over the putting your head under the water, breathing in and feeling like you are drowning. I saw an interesting sea slug. And possibly a starfish. Would have been a lot better if it wasn’t raining which made everything grey, depressing and cold. 5/10
Posted by Hannahq on June 12, 2010
Damnit, I tried so hard not to make any typos.
Posted by Rosie on June 12, 2010
I’m sadly only able to give a verdict on one of these: CENTER PARCS
I had several Center Parcs holidays when I was younger, and LOVED them, though I’m now not sure why. I remember the range of activities being excellent (which means they had archery for me and horses for my sister), the food being good (which probably just means that we were allowed to go to the pancake restaurant for breakfast once) and the chalet smelling divine and being surrounded by squirrels and pine-trees and early-morning fog. Of course, I was six at the time. I loved the way the entire central entertainment dome smelled of swimming pool… possibly an acquired taste, but then I think Center Parcs is where I acquired it. The best thing about the whole holiday was the swimming pool/heated rapids which took you on a little jacuzzi trip outside. In the dark, in september, when I was six, that was kind of magical.
I have no idea how it would hold up now, but for favourite childhood memories, I give CP and 8.5 out of 10.
Posted by Hannahq on June 12, 2010
30 Rock – Quite possibly one of the best shows ever to grace a TV screen. The other week, I watched over 20 episodes in one day (and night). Just hilarious. All the characters are brilliant, the guest stars are funny, and I could listen to ASlec Baldwin’s voice permanently, on a loop. Contains the kind of jokes that you remember when walking down a street or in a quiet room, and laugh, alone, slightly crazily. Would recommend. 20/10
Snorkelling – Fun, to an extent. I kept feeling like I was drowning, and it led to many coughing fits when the snorkel got splashed over. 6/10
James Corden – I don’t really know what to think. Pros: Gavin and Stacey is good, as is History Boys, and he is sometimes quite funny. Cons: seems a little forced sometimes, his laugh is odd in a “do you really find that funny or do you just feel you should laugh?” way, and his sketch show was not good. Good actor, not so good comedian : 7/10
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 12, 2010
In answer to LiasD, I have seen SatC 1 and it was in fact significantly worse than I could imagine.
Posted by Madeleine on June 12, 2010
I always forget the ratings. It’s an 8
Posted by Madeleine on June 12, 2010
Snorkelling – I have been snorkelling three times, and they were all quite exciting, you get a real shock when you first go out into the depp water, ike being on top of a really high building. Probably one of the most emotionally varying activities I’ve done, I flopped between terror, such as when I was chased by a parrot fish, who can bite your fingers off (apparently you’re suppose to swim down to escape them. I did not do that, because how ridiculous) or when they told us that “you don’t have to wear your stinger suits, but we’re not going to be held responsible when you die”. Also dreamy tranquilty, just floating around, all “I am the ocean”, gliding through schools of tropical fish and huge coral formations. Then there was the crushing depression of the DVD they showed us on the way back, of how the Great Barrier Reef probably won’t make it out of the next decade. And it’s all our fault.
So I would recommend it, sooner rather than later.
Posted by Joelle Stanton on June 12, 2010
I can only comment on 2 this time I shall however do it anyway.
SATC2: I thoroughly enjoyed it but only after I let myself ignore the impossible. Like a group of women in the Middle East having the latest fashion hidden under their religious outfits (I don’t know the name of them and I think they’re from religion) or having a bar on a public airline. It’s only enjoyable if you’ve seen a bit of the series and SATC1 however. It’s quite a depressing and feel good movie at the same time and has under currents of women’s role in society which I don’t really understand because they have a sex-crazed 50-year old, a shoe obsessed one and one who pined for years to have children, all rather stereoptypical if you ask me.
7/10
Snorkelling: I don’t like being fully submerged underwater in the shower so the open ocean seems like a bit of a stretch. I do think it’d be wonderful to see all of the beautiful wildlife in an area. Something I’d like to do but have a fear that holds me back from doing it.
2/10
Posted by LisaD on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN: Generally I like him. I think he works well with Matthew Horne and keeps the show from getting too cute to watch. When I’ve seen him on panel shows he’s always made me at least chuckle and his knowledge of pop music (good and bad) impresses me. Mostly what I like is his willingness to make an ass of himself. It’s the most important quality an actor can have and it’s tragically rare. 7/10
30 Rock: In the interest of full disclosure I should say at the outset that I’ve had a crush on Tina Fey for about a decade and my opinion of everything she does is colored by my undying affection. That being said, I would love 30 Rock even if she wasn’t in it. Although sometimes the random hysterical moments that make it brilliant can wander into overdone, it is consistently funny and the cast is amazing. There are also some pretty spectacular cameos, most of which relate to the show taking place at the NBC studios in NYC. In fact I’m a little heartbroken over the thought that Conan O’Brien will probably not be on the show again because the implication of a “history” between him and Liz made my year. Side note: how much of the NBC inside joke stuff translates in the UK? Just wondering. Anyway, most of the show: 8/10 episodes in which the writers have the main storyline: 11/10
SEX & THE CITY 2: Better than I expected. The most common review I’ve heard has been “not as good as the first one” but I disagree. Was it self indulgent? Oh yeah. This is a popcorn movie no doubt. Nevertheless there are things I appreciated. For one thing the plot kept the four of them together more often than in the last film and it felt less like a wrap up of season 6 of the show and more like a separate entity. It’s fluff, but at least nothing blows up and there are interesting characters.
Although it isn’t technically part of the review per se I’d like to take a moment to say something to the boys that insist on being snarky about this show and movies they have NEVER SEEN because they think it reflects well on their masculinity: Shut the hell up! You aren’t interested in the show, fine we get it. Not everyone has to like the same things, but spouting ill-informed opinions about something you have no actual knowledge of does not make you seem butch, it makes you seem like a pompous ass. Since the guys doing the loudest complaining all seem to be straight there are a couple of things worth bearing in mind: 1) straight women go to see a LOT of movies they do not like just to spend time with you. 2) this is a show that speaks to millions of women around the world (case in point I’m a lesbian who wears jeans and sneakers everywhere and I love it) See it, don’t see it whatever, but I’m surprised it hasn’t occurred to very many men that sitting down and watching a few seasons of Sex and the City might give them some insights that might make their lives a lot easier.
SATC2: 7/10 (it might be higher if the show itself didn’t raise the bar)
BOYS WHO ARE MEAN ABOUT SATC: 0/10
Posted by Adam on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN – I find myself in a strange position with Corden. I generally find him quite funny. Gavin and Stacy is quite excellent and he sort of just seems like a normal funny bloke, rather than the typical tele type you see a lot. I think he’s naturally a funny guy, not someone who writes scripts and jokes and then just repeats in public.
…
However, I can’t help but feel annoyed at how much he’s on the tele. It seems as if he’s on every 10 to 13 seconds, offering an amusing quip about something or other. Sport relief was pretty much a tribute to him, he’s got a bloody World Cup song out, and has some how blagged himself a football show.
6/10
SNORKELLING
I used to dislike snorkelling, particularly after having done scuba diving. It seems like a poor mans scuba diving, and that you’re getting shortchanged. This however, is complete bollocks. It’s actually incredibly fun when you just take it for what it is. It much less of a time commitment than scuba diving and a lot more accesible to those that haven’t done that sort of thing before. I do think though, that you need to ensure that you’re somehwere suitable for trying it. Magaluf probably won’t be much of a laugh, but a tropical island that is good for scuba diving should ensure you enjoy yourself
7/10
Posted by Catherine on June 12, 2010
-SEX AND THE CITY 2 – will report on this next week as I could never not go see a movie with Big (Christopher Noth).
-JAMES CORDEN – aw right in Gavin & Stacey.
-CENTER PARCS – where is this?
-ALPEN (cereal) – never heard of it.
-30 ROCK (TV show) – watched several times. Just don’t get it. Just like I don’t get The Office–British or American.
-SNORKELLING (activity; yet another thing I haven’t done) – you have to know how to swim, I believe.
Posted by Katie D on June 12, 2010
James Corden:
I can’t help but like him, perhaps because he’s very much like my brother (we definitely were calling eachother Bruvlar and Sislar before Gavin and Stacey) or perhaps because he’s quite funny. He’s probably on t.v too much these days, but then…is that because he’s quite good? He was fantastic in History Boys, so it’s not just that he’s an every-man. Tough Call, 8/10
Center Parcs:
Went when I was much younger than I am now (to be precise, the weekend of the final when Will Young won Pop Idol) and LOVED IT. Mostly because we spent all our time in/on the rapids, which so long as you can swim are incredible. I’ve got friends who have been as 20-somethings who have said that it’s fun but expensive, so as a child, being paid for I’d give it 9/10, however if I were to go now, I’d probably give it 7/10. As I’m a bit of a miser.
30 Rock:
The absolute best comedy to come from American television. I’ve watched each episode at least twice, and know the script from some off by heart, yet still chuckle away at every viewing. From Liz Lemon completely epitomising what I hope to and also hope not to be in 15 years time, to the strange glimpses into Kenneth Parcel’s former life as a hillbilly type (this show is hard to sum up for someone who’s never seen it) or Tracy Jordan’s insane quotes. Literally, insane…”I slept on our old dog bed stuffed with wigs, I watched a prostitute stab a clown, our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A Ribcage!”
10/10
Posted by Tim Richards on June 12, 2010
Fantastic review, I am drunk right now and this article has left me craving doritos (but thankfully not ecstasy).
Anyway…
Haven’t seen Sex And The City 2, for which I give myself 10/10 for sparing myself that torment.
James Corden – funny, but very, very overrated. I find it hard to be amused by a morbidly obese man trying to make himself out to be a football fanatic. Maybe 6/10 if I’m being nice.
The only time I’ve been to Centre Parcs my brother nearly drowned, so that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. 3/10
Alpen – nice but you can easily get own-brand muesli type stuff cheaper, so as a student it’s quite impractical. 6/10
The others I haven’t done / seen.
Posted by Steph on June 12, 2010
JAMES CORDEN: 2/10
He’s bloody everywhere! He’s even managed to infiltrate my beloved Doc Who. How very dare he.
I saw him on Sport Relief and all that. He kissed Beckham WAY too much and so naturally I blame him for the injury. The whole Scotty thing…(or is it Smithy?) is pretty juvenile. What else does he do?
ALPEN: 6/10
Pretty tasty although the bars are not as good as the actual bowl of cereal. As much as I liked it though, I’d go for Tesco’s own muesli any day.
Posted by Suz on June 12, 2010
CENTER PARCS: I bloody love Center Parcs. Haven’t been in years and years, but when I was a kid I thought it was the best place in the world. I loved the Wild Water Rapids the most (even though I nearly drowned once). I’d probably feel differently now about the cheesy faux-tropical decor and everything else, but I still get nostalgic for it in winter when the air smells smoky. 10/10
SNORKELLING: I’ve only ever been snorkelling once and I was lucky enough to do it at the Great Barrier Reef. It’s one of the best things I’ve done. Just to be able to look down and see that you’re swimming through a clear sea of brightly coloured fish was quite an overwhelming experience actually. I loved it. Absolutely loved it. 10/10
ALPEN: Blargh. 4/10
JAMES CORDEN: I’ll always remember that award show when -in an acceptance speech- he complained about not winning another award that he’d been up for. I don’t know if it was meant to be a joke, but Ruth Jones looked really embarrassed. Generally, his comedy isn’t really my thing (though I did quite enjoy G&S) but he can play a likeable character well enough. I don’t particularly like him though. He seems a bit of an arsehole. 4/10
Posted by Helen on June 12, 2010
CENTER PARCS:
I have been once. I found a massive pine cone and took it home. It was huge. As big as a squirrel. Still got it. 8/10
JAMES CORDEN:
I did very much enjoy Gavin&Stacey, it did make me laugh. I did sort of like the sport relief thing he did – that wasn’t bad. Then I saw him at this comedy thing and he was quite good, did a funny bit about schoolbags. Then I think, he’s certainly not better than that pine cone. But I bet he thinks he is. 4/10
Posted by K on June 12, 2010
James Corden – Arse. Wrapped in chav. Wrapped in a bigger Arse.
Not clever, not funny. Is his ‘cheeky fat chappy’ schtick actually supposed to be entertaining? satirical in some way? Or just ‘Look at me, look at me, I’m just like the bloke down the pub, aren’t I adorable?’. Entirely talentless & annoying to the point of violence. Instant TV turnover-time, whatever he’s on. I fully expect his Doctor Who appearance to plumb the depths of ‘Love & Monsters’. -63/10
30 Rock – I watched the first season, I think, and found it amusing in places, but it clashed with something better so I dropped it and never went back. Maybe a bit too American-in-jokey for me? A lot of the characters seemed to be ‘wacky’ just for the sake of it, but I did like Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon & the page-boy Kenneth. 6/10
Posted by Adam on June 11, 2010
JAMES CORDEN
I’ve liked him as a comedy actor – great in The History Boys and Gavin & Stacey. But his sketch show with Matthew Horne was mind-numbingly bad, and he came off like a bit of a massive twat when he had a row with Patrick Stewart. He’s in Doctor Who tomorrow, so maybe that’ll swing me one way or the other. Until then, I’m sitting on the fence.
5/10
SNORKELLING
Fantastic. It’s like evolving into some kind of amphibian, but without the tedious thousands of years normally required. Go for it, unless you really hate the sight of fish. But if you did, I imagine you wouldn’t have asked.
10/10
Posted by Joanna on June 11, 2010
I only know about one of these things, so…
JAMES CORDEN: I have no idea where this guy came from, I don’t know what he’s famous for, but my God is he annoying. This is all I’m saying because I can’t talk about him without swearing lots. Sorry. 0/10 is being generous.
Posted by Rachel on June 11, 2010
James Corden: He just tends to shout everything and he gets everywhere. And he’s generally just annoying. 0/10
Snorkelling: Know nothing about it except for the fact that it’s almost impossible to buy equipment that fits properly unless you have a large amount of money to spare (or maybe that’s just here in lovely Wakefield…) and vaguely amusing watching a bunch of Y5/6 kids trying to get the gear on. 5/10 for the amusement factor
Posted by Paul O'Regan on June 11, 2010
30 Rock: Not as good as it used to be, and almost always uneven, yet well worth watching. Even in the weaker episodes, there’s usually one or two great moments from Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin or Tracy Morgan. The DVD box sets of Seasons One and Two are highly recommended. 7.5/10
Posted by Katie on June 11, 2010
CENTRE PARCS:
Just about the worst place I have ever been in my entire life, and I live in Glasgow, a city made of piss and heroin. Here are some reasons why:
-There is a channel called “Badger Watch”, which does not show badgers in any way, shape or form. In fact, that channel could have been called anything. Some alternative suggestions: “Let’s watch this fern shake in the gale-force winds”, “Dirt Watch”, “The ‘Was that a Badger? No, it’s 3am and you’re drunk and hallucinating. We told you not to eat those fucking mushrooms’ Channel”.
-In the British ones, it’s either sub-tropical or Arctic weather conditions. You don’t get to pick. Both make cycling everywhere (which the bastards insist you do for your own health or nature or their wallets – I can’t quite remember) extremely uncomfortable.
- The mattresses in the “châteaus” are made of pure concrete.
- Everything is moist, and not in a good way.
- Their shite excuse for a Hard Rock Cafe clone does not even play proper rock music. I got Tatu when I was there. I would have settled for Spandau fecking Ballet.
-The pools are made of pure chlorine. Chlorine has the rather attractive property of making your eyes hurt so much you want to claw them out with your own hands, but you can’t, as unfortunately, the chlorine has also melted your hands off.
- The wave machine ruins any chance you had of just swimming, unless you go to the “big people’s pool” or the outside pool, both of which are so cold they will turn your respective genitalia inside out and are filled with people who say they want to swim lengths, but really just want to drown themselves before their kids get back from crazy golf and want to go abseiling, or some other crazy excuse for a normal activity.
- From personal experience, you’ll buy an ice-cream (you’ve decided to treat yourself and go for a three-scoop contraption that’s made of pure sugar and milk), be sitting on a bench in the centre in your oldest, comfiest clothes, then someone from your class at school will walk past you and try and strike up a conversation with you when really, you just want to crawl away and die.
- The French restaurant actually serves its liquid pretentiousness as a dish. It’s unbelievably expensive and the waiter informs you beforehand that you’re not good enough to consume it on the premises, and therefore must not look him in the eye as you accept this “delicious” meal.
- It’s FULL OF BLOODY CHILDREN.
Therefore, I cannot think of a number low enough to describe the shite “châteaus” (I resent calling them that – they’re Ikea flatpack houses that have been constructed by the cast of Rouge Traders), abysmal customer service and insistence that I have to fucking cycle everywhere when I’d rather just walk, but no, it’s too far away, than to give it 0/10 and tell it to consider itself lucky that I’m not beating the concept of Centre Parcs in the proverbial face with its own family-friendly-self-satisfied smugness bullshit.
JAMES CORDEN:
Zoe told me who he was. Aye, he’s alright.
4/10
ALPEN:
That’s also alright. Unless it’s soggy. Then it’s horrible.
4/10
Posted by Kathryn on June 11, 2010
I was slightly overjoyed at seeing my comment make it into your summary; I then had to spend 5 minutes explaining to my mother the concept of the Very Late Review, my participation, and indeed blogs and the internet in general.
The only one of these options that I can comment on with any authority is JAMES CORDEN:
He falls under the category of “English humour”- an area of comedy raved about in the English press and by my English best friend which goes completely over my head. I just can’t see the appeal. I can definitely say that he has never made me laugh; his comedy doesn’t seem to be particularly clever, original or unusual. Not that I’m dismissing all comedy from England in a harsh slightly racist sweeping statement- it just doesn’t seem to translate well across the Irish sea. Or it could just be my twisted sense of humour.
Score: 1/10, if I’m being generous. Purely for his professional output- he’s probably not that bad as a person.
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 11, 2010
JAMES CORDEN 6.5/10
I love Gavin and Stacey. I know I shouldn’t, it’s far too popular for it to be cool to like it. As well as that, I love Smithy, I’d hate him in real life but in the context of those 30 minutes he’s brilliant. I didn’t even mind Horne and Corden, and that wasn’t popular in the slightest. However, I don’t like what he’s become. Those Comic Relief things he did weren’t bad but his popular image as a whole grates upon me like some sort of cheese grater. To sum up: James Corden is like communism, a good idea, but hideous things have been done to society in his name.
-CENTER PARCS 7/10
A holiday in centre parcs is hardly an intellectually stimulating exercise. When you wake up in the morning it’s a choice between going to the pool or having a cycle round the place. If you don’t like swimming, don’t bother going. If you don’t like cycling through pine forests, don’t bother. That being said, it’s a brilliant way to relax. There being so little to do actually makes the whole thing amazing. The pools are surprisingly good, it’s a brilliant place to cycle. That’s all there is to it.
-SNORKELLING 16/10
People aren’t fish. If tried to be a fish, you’d probably die. The snorkel is an invention to stop you dying while pretending to be a fish. The experience of snorkelling is, unfortunately for me, near enough impossible to describe. The last time I went snorkelling I became part of a shoal. I’m struggling to come up with some sort of glib way to tell you my views on it. Basically, do it Mark. Just find a way and do it. It’s awesome.
Posted by DeborahF on June 11, 2010
Oh I forgot to add a small plea to keep this a football free zone. It’s a small haven for me in an otherwise football flooded world – it’s everywhere on every TV channel, the web, the news and shoehorned into every advert in the cheesiest way possible.
Posted by Megan on June 11, 2010
Oh, jeez, I missed 30 Rock:
Best American comedy currently on the air. Liz Lemon is an inspiration to this awkward spinster with misfits for employees in more ways than one. It’s kind of embarrassingly, really.
9/10
Posted by Aislinn on June 11, 2010
James Corden – 2/10.
I really want to like him but I can’t stand the man. He did funny with the football team one year and subsequently everything he has done since has been appalling.
He gets one point for understanding that Vampire whatever-it-was-called was an awful, awful film. He gets one point for realising that Gavin & Stacey needed someone like Rob Brydon in to make it watchable. He gets both minus and plus points (cancelling out to nothing) for the phrases ‘You schlaaaag!’ and ‘Gavlaaa!/Pamlaaa!’ respectively.
Posted by lisan66 on June 11, 2010
Sex and the City 2: I thought it was definitely way too long, it felt like it was never going to end. The storyline was a bit…lacking. It just felt like a super long episode rather than a proper film. The fashion was good, but again, not as good as in the tv series or first film. I think it may have just been a giant money-making scam, because everyone knew that people would go see it. I didn’t think the men in it were that great, very lacking, not great looking. My friend (who is a guy) is offering the opinion that if he was made sit through it again he’d kill Sarah-Jessica Parker, and then himself, and that the only bit of femlae action worth looking at was Charlotte’s nanny. In saying all that, if there was a third, I’d probably go see that as well, just because of the attraction and gossip that would surround it.
I’d probably give it 4/10 (but most of those go to the shoes)
Posted by DeborahF on June 11, 2010
I once went to a Center Parc at Sherwood Forest (admittedly quite a few years ago) and it was like my worst idea of hell tripled!
Prefabricated huts, pebble-dashed inside and out (or that might have been wood chip wallpaper inside), that were freezing cold even when it was summer and smelt vaguely damp and fetid. Then there was the enforced and expensive exercise regime – rubbish hire bikes that cost a fortune and the only free thing a swimming pool which you were guaranteed to catch at least a cold from. Worse still there were people enjoying this – what planet were they from – the city? That’s not how you have a holiday in the countryside.
The only thing that made it bearable was remaining as slightly tipsy on white wine for the weekend until I could escape. Never ever going there again 0 out of 10.
Posted by Lisa brunders on June 11, 2010
Loving the Late Review, and especially like the null, full and diving scoring system, I have a strange love of numbers!
James Cordon. Clever, but a bit too full of himself at times. I particularly like the way he uses music. He just needs to grow up a bit, but there’s plenty of time for that. showing great promise for one so young 7\10
Posted by Rosanna on June 11, 2010
-JAMES CORDEN
I really don’t get the appeal of him. Not funny and very annoying.
0/10
-SNORKELLING
Went snorkelling in the South of France and it was great. Restricted to places with a nice clear sea so I imagine it would be awful in anywhere like England.
8/10
Posted by Megan on June 11, 2010
First of all, I’m pretty chuffed that I got to do this. You guys are hilarious, BTW. I *maybe* used too many quotes, but there were just so many great comments that I couldn’t resist. Thanks again to Mark for the opportunity.
Secondly, I’m only really qualified to talk about two things in this list:
James Corden: Quite good (generally) in Gavin & Stacey. As ‘himself’, I find him fairly insufferable. Tries too hard to be an everyman, or something, but still can’t fully disguise his smugness. And he laughs at his own jokes far too often for someone who isn’t *that* funny. Also, I don’t appreciate him trying to take on Sir Patrick. Sheesh.
4/10
Alpen: I’ve not had it since my youth hostelling days (it was frequently part of the free breakfasts – and yes, I am quite old compared to most of you, so this was a fair while ago). A bit too sweet, maybe, and definitely not as good as muesli I’ve made myself, but, really, pretty good.
7/10
Posted by Laurs on June 11, 2010
-JAMES CORDEN (person)
I really don’t know what I feel about him. I feel I should hate him and every chavvy thing he stands for, but actually, I think he is a very patriotic man and I am pleased to see someone who isn’t afraid of shouting out loud that they support England!
5/10 – sitting on the fence there.
-CENTER PARCS (holiday destination)
I only have one experience of Center Parcs. After being promised a weekend away by my mother, I was looking forward to it. Until I realised that we were going away with my mother, her three friends and all their children, ranging from 18 months to 14 years old and I was the unpaid babysitter for the weekend.
Therefore, I hate the whole experience of it.
A slightly biased, 1/10.
-ALPEN (cereal)
It’s supposed to be relatively good for you, but every mouthful tastes like a spoonful of sugar. And that disturbs me. I prefer museli, a lot less sugar.
2/10
Posted by Misha on June 11, 2010
Since the only one I’m really aware of is Corden, here goes.
Confuses me, probably quite a nice bloke if you know him personally but as a comic/actor etc just gets on my tits. Generally the opinion I have of many people, Jack Whitehall being one. Refuse to say anything against him as a person until I actually meet him, then he can prove if he’s a dick head or not. This aside however he really does piss me off, especially since he’s in Dr Who next week. WHY?!
3/10
(with reservations)
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 11, 2010
fist