World in motion
Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired. Tired.
Probably could have used cut and paste for that.
I wrote a nice long blog just now, then my computer went offline halfway through posting it, and it’s all disappeared. This at the end of a day during which I’ve been driven to the wrong address for a photoshoot, because of a clerical error (not even by me); had to do a TV appearance which I wasn’t told about until I’d made other plans; still have a corporate gig to do, as I write this; and it all began with the baby waking up about 6.20am. For a moment when I realized the blog had gone, I felt like crying. Then I briefly – briefly – considered the possibility of saying, I can’t do this every day, let’s take this as a sign. Then I thought, what would Minchin say. He’d be furious at the mere mention of things being ‘a sign’. (He’d also tell me it was stupid to do a daily blog in the first place, but there we go. The photoshoot was for Esquire magazine, and features me, him, Key, Horne and a couple more people in expensive clothes. So not all bad.)
Anyway. The World Cup.
It’s the eve of this enormous tournament, as you’ll have been made all too aware by every bloody advert laying claim to footballing cred (‘you can put our coffee tables in the corner… you know, as in ‘corner’!), every TV show crowbarring it in, every newspaper giving away pullout sections, and everyone suddenly discussing football as if it matters.
Of course, to me, it does matter. Football, as you’ll be aware, is one of my main passions, and the World Cup means so much to me that it was my subject on ‘Celebrity’ Mastermind (those inverted comments are mine). Nonetheless, the World Cup always provokes some uneasiness for a nerdy fan like me. It’s a similar feeling to the one when your favourite band suddenly gets famous enough to attract idiots to their shows (as discussed in a previous blog; pretty much everything I write, it seems, has to do with jealousy or insecurity). There’s the odd sensation that your own little pitch has been invaded by drunks who shout EN-GER-LAND outside your hotel window at 4am; there’s the snobby feeling that you know more than these people, but they’re the ones making all the noise; and then there’s the way non-fans get alienated.
Seeing football through the eyes of an outsider during a major tournament, as I may have said before, is like having a dear friend whom you love, but who often lets himself down at parties, leaving you saying ‘he’s not normally like this, honestly’. I try to be an evangelist for the game – in case you haven’t seen it, I’ve done a load of red button bits for the BBC where I talk about it for the ‘uninitiated’ – and I hate the way people are made to feel left out if they’re not mouthing off about Kaka and signing ‘Rule Britannia’. If football has a purpose (over and above being, for people like me, a hugely exciting and intoxicating distraction from life), it’s to unite people. Not to polarise them into people who are, and aren’t, wankers.
So, during the tournament I will not be talking about football normally except for occasional asides, BUT: around once a week, I will summarise what’s been happening, focusing on the ‘human interest’ side, explaining why such-and-such a result is interesting, pointing out players with funny names, etc. And suggesting things to look out for in upcoming games. With luck, this will provide an ideal digest for people who are left cold by the barrage of coverage, but feel it’s worth at least roughly staying abreast of what a large chunk of the nation is discussing. (It would useful if someone could do something similar for me with the final Big Brother, as a quid pro quo arrangement, as I’m not going to find space for it, but at some point I will certainly be on a panel show where I have to feign familiarity with its ins and outs.)
I’m also happy to answer any football-related queries. On that note, thanks for another tremendous response to Can I Help You? I’ll tackle them over the next week. And Kate and Megan, my hired hands, have already sent in their work, so the blog is as close to being up to date as it has been since some time in April. As for me, I think I’m glad I bothered to take a second shot at this. But if it deletes it THIS time, there could be tears.
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
aw – i remember last year’s world cup – me and my sister had debates and discussions on the effect of it on the people of south africa (the positives and negatives), and we got hugely excited for ghana, and so ultra gutted when they lost (bloody hand ball!).
i’m sort of so-so about football. i enjoy a good game, but mainly when i’m not with a mad fan who gets a bit too overly involved. i had a friend once, who was normal most of the time, but got horrible over football – sweary and red in the face, and a bit too ready to use ‘banter’ to explain away what just sounded like horrible bigotted comments. i have made him sound like an idiot, but this is the thing – other than around teh football, he really was a lovely person. and teh stupidest thing was, he was a real snob about england fans…
anyways… on with the catch up (or maybe sleep for now)
Posted by Nathan on June 11, 2010
COPY and paste, Mark, not cut and paste. Cut and paste clearly wouldn’t work (unless you cut and paste the whole thing from a word document in which you had used copy and paste, of course).
Posted by MusicalLottie on June 11, 2010
I shall be watching neither! I used to be hugely into snooker (I knew stupidly random stats from way back in the ’60s, and basically knew everything I could find out about the game) but now haven’t even the time for that, let alone football, a game I don’t understand and haven’t any intention of understanding! However, I shall look forward to your weekly ‘human interest’ roundups; they’ll definitely be interesting and it’ll be a novelty to have a vague idea of what’s going on … !
Also, I write blogs in Word and autosave all of the time, and then copy and paste to post. That way when technology does its usual thing of failing the user, there’s still a retrievable copy and those minutes/hours weren’t wasted
But well done to you for still giving us a whole post!
Posted by Lydia on June 11, 2010
I kind of hate football, lol. But anyway, well done for writing the blog again. Computers doing stupid things in the middle of writing is the most insane-making thing ever.
Posted by louisel on June 11, 2010
I’m not hugely bothered about the World Cup, but my brother and my dad are massive football fans so it’ll be on stupidly loud for the forseeable future *sigh*
They take it a bit seriously … last world cup for example, they decided at the last minute that they would go to wherever it was (Germany?) on a coach just ‘to watch it on the big screens and experience the atmosphere’. Ha! My dad rang my mum the next day to sheepishly explain that they’d spent near a thousand pounds on tickets and pretended to be ‘Sven’ and ‘Johan’ to see the match. She’s only just forgiven him
I will be watching Big Brother though. It’s nice to be able to say (well, type) that without being yelled at or just given pitying looks. I’d be willing to help with a round up, but my memory is really bad …
Ohh, and I like the ‘What Would Minchin Say’ thing. It’s like What Would Jesus Do but better
Posted by glamlovinkitty on June 11, 2010
I loathe football. In fact, loathe is too mild a word for how I feel about football. I don’t care that England are in it, and that Scotland aren’t. I don’t care. I just want it over and done with so that TV and the news and people go back to normal. Or as normal as they can be with three fecking months of that big brother gash going on.
Sigh.
Posted by Rachael on June 11, 2010
Watching interntionals is weird because I still want my favourite club players to win but suddenly they are against each other and I have to decide who I like more. I realise the world cup isn’t meant to be about which person you like more but why would I want someone that I think is a twat to win?
Posted by Laurence on June 11, 2010
Re: Fringe/The Hotel
Hi Mark,
I’m just busily getting my Fringe tickets for this year – opening day and all day, having enjoyed your stuff last year.
I shalln’t even begin to ask whether the 24 hour show is back..boohoo. But the definite highlight for me last year was The Hotel. Is it coming back this time around – or something like it? I can’t find any mention of it anywhere for 2010.
Cheers
Laurence
Posted by Adam on June 11, 2010
I am, like you Mark, outrageously excited for this to start. Not even for England really, just that at any time of day, any day of the week (except those bloody awful days around the semi finals when you have to wait) I can watch football. Uni is finished. The bloody world cup is here! Everything isn’t shit after all!
P.S and hopefully I’ll write a blog every day, though this seems unlikely.
Posted by Laura on June 11, 2010
I think I love you a little bit, Mark. In a totally non-threatening way, of course. I also love football and have been hugely looking forward to the World Cup kicking off. Being out of work at the mo, I am making it my mission to watch every game (I managed it during Euro 08, bar one game) but fear I might not be able to sit through some of the games because of those fucking vuvuzelas.
I have a slight football-related quandry, though. I have been invited to a friend’s on Saturday evening. The football will be on, but there will only be girls there, none of whom really like football. I feel rude not going, but I have also been invited out with some other friends to watch it at the pub. This may seem an easy choice, but the pub-going friends are actually all going to be be men on a stag-do; the man whose ‘do it is is the partner of the girl who has invited me to her house. Follow? I have already been on a hen-do with her and we are going to Ascot together next week. What do I do? I am so vexed I am debating just staying at home and watching it on my own. I should add that, were it not a stag-do, this would be a total no-brainer and I would definitely go to the pub with the boys.
Like Steph, I most admired your World Cup knowledge on Mastermind and felt somewhat bereft when you lost.
I shan’t be able to help with Big Brother – I am quite proud of the fact I have never seen a single episode, and have no intention of changing that now.
Posted by Laura-B on June 11, 2010
This isn’t linked to the world cup or being tired, but if anyone is still being Crap At The Environment, there’s a nice little website called One Pot Pledge you could have a look at. You pledge to grow veg or herbs in a single pot – it’s designed to encourage people who don’t have a garden.
Have a look: http://www.onepotpledge.com
Posted by cymruangel on June 11, 2010
World Cup roundup sounds most helpful – thank you very much Mark. Whilst I understand the rules, I fail to fathom why t’other half needs to watch every single game, even countries he’s only vaguely heard of, not just England matches. But it’s only once every four years, and I bore the hell out of him every autumn with Strictly Come Dancing, so fair’s fair!
I suspect there might be quite a lot of TYSICers making more progress than usual on their challenges this month, what with Big Brother to avoid too.
Perhaps those of us attempting to learn a language should follow that country (or another country which speaks it) for added interest.
By the way, we all really appreciate the lengths you go to to update the blog – it certainly brightens my mornings. Many many *hugs* to you good sir.
Posted by Robert on June 11, 2010
I’d just like to note that a typo has now left me imagining the player Rule Britannia (thinking that it’s probably an alternative spelling of Raoul) and wondering who he’d sign to.
I don’t follow football. I have nothing against it, but I think there’s just too much of it to fit into my life. A summary of what’s actually important (rather than just who won) sounds about perfect for me.
Posted by Max on June 11, 2010
@ Cathy: bufanda is literally scarf in spanish.
As an Argentine, WC for me is something that i wait for patiently every day of each 4yr hiatus. Will be fun to read the Brit comments on this magnificent tournament. You are our all time nemesis in the sport, the ’66, ’86, 98′ and 2002 matches between us were all memorable. I guess that if our paths cross this time, it should be our turn to beat you.
On the subject of computer meltdowns, I entirely relate, as I’ve had around a weeks thesis work dissapear a couple of weeks ago. I love computers, but they seem to hate me.
Posted by Ivan on June 11, 2010
I’m somewhere in the middle of the uninitiated and the superfan. I really love football (especially the stats and figures – I’m a geek, what can I say) and try to follow Arsenal as closely as I can. But I get bored by about february every season, I lose contact with my fantasy team, and wait until next season to do the same again. The World Cup, for me, has so much more excitement behind it, I can’t help jumping both feet into it.
HURRAH!
cummoningerlund
Posted by Madeleine on June 11, 2010
Excellent! Considering that most of Australia only realised we had a soccer team at the last world cup (I’m going to continue to call it soccer. Cause our team is called the socceroos), this “week end wrap up” is going to be very helpful for me. The world cup is the only tournament that is really broadcast and I am very much looking forward to watching it, although I don’t know much about it I really enjoy the game. It would be good if Australia could have some wins again… Probably not over Germany though, did you hear they called us boring and predictable!? Let’s not start name calling, Germany, that can only end badly for you…
Glad you decided to continue the daily blogging run, we should definatly start making WWTMD wristbands.
Posted by Dawn on June 11, 2010
I definately will NOT be watching the football but I definately WILL be watching Big Brother!
I’ve watched every series of Big Brother and as this is the very last series I will be glued to it.
There is the usual mix of “oddballs” in the house and I havent warmed to anyone yet.
I will keep you updated if you would like me to:-)
I think I’d better send you another Hug! xx
Posted by Custard_Cream_Dreams on June 11, 2010
@Magnificent Josh: I think it might have something to do with the ease of football: it’s a game that you don’t really need special equipment for. Just, anything kickable and people will kick it about. It’s the people’s game!
I might go put a fiver on Netherlands v Spain. 2-1 to the Dutch! I’m hoping England, but the Dutch are my second team
Posted by Ally on June 11, 2010
I’m not tired today, but I understand that feeling. I hope the knowledge that your exam tips yesterday really helped me out in the exam I had will brighten your day/night/whatever the time is where you are.
Posted by Emmy on June 10, 2010
I am very, very tired too. Which I hate. The weekend is fast approaching though!
I’m not really that interested in the World Cup. I would be if Peru were playing, but they haven’t managed that since the early eighties. My mom said the whole country went completely mad at that point, or at least until the were eliminated after the first round (eliminated probably isn’t the correct football term).
Catherine- ‘bufanda’ is spanish for scarf. In a generic way, not a football specific way.
Posted by LisaD on June 10, 2010
Oh dear, I’ve had that day. It isn’t that everything goes wrong it’s that everything goes somewhat wrong, just wrong enough that one still has to put energy into making things right instead of simply giving up and going back to bed. I don’t usually do the virtual displays of affection thing but in this case I think an exception is called for: *HUG*
As for soc—sorry—football I must admit I am one of those people who really only gets excited about it during a cup year. It’s a bit like the Olympics. I mean who watches curling on an odd year? In fairness, in this heathen section of the world where it’s called soccer, there isn’t much joy in being a full time fan. Most of the games aren’t televised and since it’s mostly aimed at the middle class (in New England at least) the games are both expensive and nearly impossible to get to without a car. The World Cup is different. The games are free to watch on TV and everybody gets that extra boost of excitement that comes with pointless nationalism. As an added bonus Boston has really large Brazilian and Italian populations so the parties go on for days.
Posted by Misha on June 10, 2010
I full concur with wanting to cry at things. But I’m finding that due to exams and insomnia rather than small humans and clerical errors.
The world cup is one of the few times I wish I “got” football. As previously discussed i’ve never watched a whole game, such is my ambivalence that i’ll sit and read or fall asleep if it’s on. A rare occurrence because my Dad isn’t a football fan, nor is my brother.
The most it impacts on me is it means once every 4 years we have to organise the village fete & carnival around it, and my summer concert has to be rejigged too.
There was possibly a point to this comment, smiling at the idea of Minchin being annoyed. But i’ve lost track.
Posted by Corey on June 10, 2010
I love the World Cup……..my employers will not be seeing me for most afternoons in June and early July!!.
My uncle said he heard ‘Britain’s Got Tarrant’ being discussed on 5live at the weekend!?!. Was this you by any chance?
Posted by Lisa brunders on June 10, 2010
Hope your day finishes well and you get a good night’s sleep, thanks for sparing the time to blog us – twice!
I’m watching Big Brother right now, so you don’t have to!
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 10, 2010
I’ve got a football question. It’s one that’s often vexed me and I’m sure you’ve answered it before. But anyway.
Why football? What makes football better than, say rugby, basketball or ultimate Frisbee? Is it just the comradeship that comes from it being so popular or is there something more exciting about a game with, and this may be an unpopular view, less action than most?
Posted by Iona on June 10, 2010
I’m tired too. But very happy cos I finished my AS levels today. Woo.
Well my dad’s Scottish. And we live in England. Yeh… He gets a lot of people asking what he thinks about the world cup and he doesn’t really care.
I don’t care about football either. I’m more excited about wimbledon than the world cup (does that make me really posh?). But I can see why people get all excited about it. For my mum and I world cup matches mean we can go shopping and it’ll be really quiet
Posted by amycool on June 10, 2010
I’d also like to announce my amazement that you wrote a whole blog after losing it (the blog) halfway through. It’s one of those things that always makes me either very angry or very weary, so a big pat on the back from me.
I grew up in a football-loving household and actually realised that “lucky” things have no bearing on the outcome of sport, or in fact anything else, during world cup ’98. However, since I started going out with my sport-hating boyfriend I have somehow avoided all football for about 8 years. But this year, I had a yearning for a wall chart and I decided that the World Cup would considerably more fun if I bothered to get into it. I always find with snooker (John Higgins was on Celebrity Mastermind too and he was incredibly funny – I’m still waiting to hear that the big scandal was all a mix-up) that I get so much more out of it when I watch all the bits in between where they show the players doing moody poses and talking about their favourite flavoured milkshake, so that’s the plan for this. Probably not with anywhere near as much as I put into snooker though as I know precisely nothing about any of the teams. I recognise the words Rooney, Lampard, Ferdinand etc but I don’t know if New Zealand have any chance this year, I don’t know who is injured or expected to get injured, and right this minute, I can’t recall the name of our manager.
Oh, and my boyfriend got England in the sweepstakes so there’s £30 in it if we win.
Posted by Kate W on June 10, 2010
That sounds like a long, draining day – sorry to hear that. Sudden technology failure’s incredibly frustrating, so well done on rising above it and re-writing the blog. The Esquire photoshoot sounds rather brilliant; I think you could all pull off looking sharp in expensive clothes, although I hope someone tidied Key up.
To be honest, I have no intention of watching the World Cup, but it will be good to have some idea of what’s going on and why people care. There’s equally little chance of you watching Big Brother, so unfortunately I can’t reciprocate by updating you on that.
Posted by Kathryn on June 10, 2010
I can empathise with the shitty day- mine wasn’t nearly as bad as yours but it did involve losing my keys and having to break a window. So *hugs* in a slightly awkward “I don’t know you very well” sort of way.
I will be watching the World Cup, probably every televised match. Haven’t decided who I’m supporting yet. I’m still annoyed at my best friend for picking Greece for Euro 2004 despite knowing nothing about football. Might support New Zealand just for the craic.
Posted by Steph on June 10, 2010
LOVES GOT THE WORLD IN MOTION AND I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!
Gotta love John Barnes, although my respect for him has dipped lately because of his selling out to Mars.
I love it when people have things they are really passionate/obsessed about. There are far too many people who dip in and out of things. If you like something, go for it!
Mastermind! I was there Mark when you impressed with your World Cup knowledge from ’66 onwards. It was reMARKable. I was gutted that you lost out at the end to Lucy what’s-her-face. That was probably the reason I got interested in you and I wouldn’t be reading this blog if not for that!
Posted by Megan on June 10, 2010
Oh, another brief thing: A friend of mine in Brazil is a lawyer. She told me that courts shut down and universities reschedule their exams around the World Cup. Insane.
Posted by Laurs on June 10, 2010
I think the world is tired at the moment. Everything is so draining!
And I for one, cannot wait for the World Cup to start, I’m ridiculously excited and even have contingency plans in place should the bus break down on the way home from work and I potentially miss the kick off of the first game!
I have also managed to convince my line manager that for the day when England have their early kick off next wednesday that we should, rather than have our weekly meeting in school, but that we should go off site for ‘team building purposes’. it just so happens that the site I recommended is the pub two minutes from school and is showing world cup games…
Posted by Catherine on June 10, 2010
Okay. Read the blog. I’ve tried watching soccer (oops, Football). The most amazing thing to me is the amount of energy the players have to have to be able to run up and down and up and down that huge field. Mind boggling.
I was recently in Madrid when there was a match between Germany and Italy. The whooping and hollering that went on all night for three nights (2 before and 1 after) kept me awake most of those night. I’ve never heard so much drunken revelry where the cops didn’t actually come and hose them away with water. Everyone just acted like it was normal.
The place where I stayed in Madrid had football on the TV almost all the time. The man of the house was from Valencia. Barcelona and Valencia HATE each other.
My brother asked me to buy him some shirts from Atletico de Madrid and Barcelona. Too expensive. He got bufundas. I’m not sure if that is the spanish word for that item or soccer-specific. To me they look like knitted scarves.) My brother, a professor at a midwestern-US university, likes football. He follows Fulham. I don’t understand how my red-blooded, basketball-loving, ACC-raised brother got stuck on Fulham.
The clerks at the pharmacy I go to like Man U and Chelsea. It’s interesting to listen to them fuss between themselves about the topic.
Anyway, that’s all I know about football. Only another 17 more hours until the earth stops moving.
Posted by Megan on June 10, 2010
I am trying not to be like the American fan in the brilliant Onion article (http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-soccer-fan-becoming-insufferable,17553/ – and no, I’m not American), but there’s far less interest in the World Cup here and sometimes it’s a bit awkward. I will admit that I haven’t been paying attention to international football in recent years (I used to wake up early (!) on Saturdays (!!!) to watch Premier League too), but I do love the World Cup.
Luckily, Ottawa’s multicultural enough that a lot of bars and pubs will have games on. They’ve also extended drinking hours (they will start at 10am). But, yeah, apathy is still high. Also, the owner of my pub (the otherwise lovely Gerry) hates soccer and especially hates the World Cup, calling it thinly veiled nationalism (thinly veiled? hardly) and ‘not a real sport’. FROM A MAN WHO WATCHES BASEBALL. The tellies in his bar are rubbish, though, so I’ll go to the lesser pub with the TV hooked up to the projector rather than argue with him further.
Don’t judge me, but for the last final, my friends and I were the only ones at a bar who were supporting France. We practically had to crawl out of there on hands and knees, such was our shame. Fucking Zidane.
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on June 10, 2010
I think this deserves the first hug I’ll give you. Like most people, I can relate to the computer-turning-off-before-you-save drama. I had to write a 15 page project/report for my agricultural science class, and on the 14 page… KABLOOEY…. computer blows up. Not really, it just lost power and died, killing my project with it.
It’s like the sky falling in last blog, my computer didn’t blow up, in fact it’s better then ever – I’m typing on it right now
But if it was me who had written a blog, and it disappeared, I’d have written a quick paragraph explaining what happened, signed off, and had a drink. But I admire you for your determination to not let technology failing get in the way of your TYSIC.
So, *hugs* – multiple there in case of emergency.
Thanks for the inspiration to keep going when you’re tired and something crappy happens.
Posted by Beth (Bloomability) on June 10, 2010
Sorry to the other Beth for stealing her name just then. On go the brackets *click*.
Posted by Beth on June 10, 2010
My computer loves taunting me by waiting until I’m just about to save…then BAM! Bad_pool_caller has come to visit and stolen the essay that was meant to be in for tomorrow…
Thanks for appreciating me & my fellow football couldn’t-care-lessers on the blog ^_^
Posted by Meg on June 10, 2010
I am also very tired. But I’m afraid I do not watch the football. I really don’t see the point. I quite like playing football though – if the other players are rubbish like me. My school is big on sport so we have to do lots which isn’t great because I don’t like having an all girls PE group. Girls can be horrible when they are competitive. And the people in my PE group are horrible anyway. Oh well. I can give it up next year!
Posted by Beth on June 10, 2010
I’m tired too, but not for the same reasons as you and probably not to the same level as you, I hope you manage to get some sleep/time to chill out soon. (I’m also very curious about the photoshoot… Be sure to tell us when the magazine is out to buy!)
Also, I’m not a massive fan of football but I do watch all the England games. However, I’m really disappointing to be missing the game on saturday as I’ll be working. I’m missing out on the match AND a night at the pub. I’m pretty bitter about it…
Now, back to the books! I’ve got an exam to cram for!
Posted by Catherine on June 10, 2010
First and tired, too.