Sorbet
This won’t be a thrilling blog, because of the usual time constraints and the fact that it will be a brief series of announcements rather than a raft of well-considered opinions. But there we are. I’ll try and do something really fun tomorrow, how about that? And hey, sometimes it’s nice not to be at full pelt the whole time, lurching between one excitement and another. See this as a pleasant walk in the park before a night of excess. Or a palate-cleansing sorbet course in a sit-down meal. A ten-year-long sit-down meal. Imagine that. You’d be pretty full by the time you left the room. And looking forward to getting that tuxedo off. I’m assuming you’re wearing a tuxedo.
My main business today is to delegate the tasks I advertised last week: editing the Very Late Review and the TYSIC updates. There were lots of equally good applications, as there always are in these situations, so I’ve gone for two people who (a) read the blog every day, (b) often post comments, and (c) have some kind of relevant experience. They are Kate Webster to do the TYSICs, and Megan to do the Reviews. Megan has already been an Emergency Blogger, so you might think it’s kind of unfair. But I was forced to eat leeks at nursery school and that wasn’t fair either. And Megan’s Canadian and I tend to be quite sentimental about people who read this blog from afar.
Anyway, Kate, I would like you to produce a summary of recent TYSIC activities posted on the microsite; and Megan, if you look at the last Late Review post some weeks ago, there are a shitload of comments (it’s the one about Gok Wan, Jonas Brothers, etc). You can either write a rundown of them like I did with the previous features, or just pick out a few choice quotes for each thing being reviewed, and I’ll then write it up. And you can estimate the average scores. I know I did. If either of you needs any more instruction than this garbled message, get in touch on Twitter.
Now that these things have been successfully delegated to more capable hands, I’m confident enough to restart some of the fun stuff I began doing on this blog, but was forced to stop. So I’m announcing the return of Can I Help You? If you have any agony-aunt style questions that need dealing with, but instead of a professional you want them answered by a comedian, leave a Comment. They needn’t be emotional, they can be purely factual (see old blogs for more details, the last one was sometime in late March, I think). Excitingly, since we last did this, I’ve met an ACTUAL agony aunt, so I may be able to enlist her help with one or two of them. Also – you might have posted something before which I never dealt with. If so, re-post it, or send me abuse.
And finally, the MP3 player, which we’re passing between us around the country, has been a busy little gadget. I’m going to leave you with this report from our dedicated team.
Posted by Knox on July 8, 2011
have just read all the comments. not quite sure why, as i’m definitely way too late to be able to offer any advice. really hope people got things sorted though (i imagine i will find out in later blogs).
Musical lottie – your comment gives me hope..!
Posted by Iona on June 16, 2010
I know this is probably a bit late for the Can I help you but I would like some advice anyway: my friend’s mum just passed away yesterday, my friend’s only 17. I want to do something but I don’t know what to do. How can I support her? She wants everything to be as normal as possible…
Posted by Anon on June 13, 2010
Repost for Can I Help You:
Hello. I am posting this without my name because there is a very small chance that some one I know will read this, and as a result, stuff will happen. Basicly, there is a girl I have known for quite a few years as part of my social circle, and always quite liked. About a year ago, we became good friends, to the point that she is now my best friend. She seems to be the only person I can really talk to about anything, and who understands my perspective on everything. She knows me better than anyone, and we are best friends. However, I also like her as more than a friend. Normally I would go to her for advice on something if I wasn’t sure about it, but as this is about her, I can’t really do that with out changing our friendship quite dramatically, and as all of my other friends are in a similar social group, if I told one of them, it could lead to some uncomfortable situations. That is why I cam to the conclusion that asking you was probably the best idea. So, basicly, I can ask her out, which would mean I get a yes or no answer. Yes would be amazing, and I would be over the moon. No would mean that not only would I have been rejected by her, but I would not have anyone to talk to about it, as talking to her would be very uncomfortable. There is also the fact that I am unsure if she still likes her ex-boyfriend. They split up about 3 months before I started to get to know her better, but that was because he was moving away. However, he is back here a lot, and I get the feeling she might still like him. On top of that, I am aware that two of my friends have asked her out, and she has said no, but not why, which could be a good or bad. No matter which it is, both times were incredibly stressful for me, as I was there. Trying to not show the feeling of dread I felt when they each asked her nearly killed me. I could just not ask her, and hope that in time, my feelings for her pass, so that I can keep my best friend, but I don’t know if I could take it. So, to sum up, my social life is a massive cluster-fuck, and because of it, there aren’t many people I can ask for help without the risk of making it even worse. I know you can’t give a definative answer, because there isn’t one, but someone else’s prespective on my situation would be very helpful. Thank you.
Posted by Sephy on June 10, 2010
Mark,
My last post for Can I help you? asked whether it is a good idea to tell someone you love them, even if you aren’t sure they feel the same (or know you exist). I’m glad it wasn’t answered because people may have said ‘DON’T DO IT! Are you insane, woman?!’ As it was, I made my own decision, and it was a good one. Very good XD . sometimes insanity is a blessing.
This time I’m asking for advice on something a little more vague. I can’t make small talk. Even if I start off well, my mind goes completely blank after the first couple of opening phrases and I just kind of walk off awkwardly or something. Do you think you can learn to be one of those bubbly people who can talk to anyone, or am I destined to be socially awkward my whole life lol? I actually think small talk is overrated in general (if you haven’t got anything important to say etc…) but I’m a nurse so there’s a lot of time to fill with patients.
Sephy x
Posted by Meg on June 10, 2010
Fantastic! Thanks Megan and cymruangel – I will definitely try those things out! In fact, I went to sleep at about 12ish last night which is an improvement. And today I have done a lot of exercise (if walking 2 miles to school and playing non-stop rounders for an hour and a half counts) so we’ll see if that makes a difference. And I’m going to have a hot chocolate tonight which will be tasty! Also, Megan that article was fascinating – thanks
Posted by cymruangel on June 10, 2010
Meg, I empathise with the lack of sleep thing – quite apart from my comments below it’s something I’ve been putting up with for years, although for me it’s partly because I have an over-active imagination… but less about me and more about help.
Things that I have found that work:
Gradual bed times – try going to bed later, and then gradually bring the time forward, by about 5 minutes every night or so. If you really can’t sleep at 9pm, it’s probably because your brain’s not ready to switch off. Knock bedtime back to midnight and see what happens.
Keep to a pattern – don’t sleep in all morning at the weekend. Tempting as it is to “catch up” on sleep, it’ll just knock your bio rhythms all out of kilter again – fine to sleep for an extra hour or so, but then up and at ‘em!
Milky, non-caffienated drink – The old granny’s remedy for a sleepless night – I won’t say it cured my insomnia (or the sleep walking) but it does help you to feel more relaxed, even if you can’t get to sleep, and less stress is always a good thing.
Exercise – really does help. Dancing is my poison, and after a couple of hours on the dancefloor I find it much easier to drift off.
Posted by Corey on June 10, 2010
**CAN I HELP YOU UPDATE**
Further to my problem, an interesting update. I was telling a few people at work (including the philandering woman) about Mark’s brother Pohnpei mission. She took one look at the website and cried ‘scam’.
So i’m being attacked morally by someone with no or very few morals!?! Does this change anyones mind? or does that warrant a punishment?
More help needed guys
Posted by Gilly on June 10, 2010
Does anyone know the email address to send songs for inclusion on the mp3 player? (I”m in California right now, so it didn’t quite make it to me)
Thanks!
Posted by MusicalLottie on June 9, 2010
Zoe: I’m nearing 21 and have never been kissed; I don’t even go to parties, let alone let myself go. I actually have no desire to be kissed until I meet somebody with whom I then embark upon a serious relationship, and most of my friends feel the same way.
If you particularly want to be kissed then I have no advice, but to answer just your first question: generally speaking it may be unusual, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing! Personally I’m quite happy to remain unkissed and un-romanced until the right time
Posted by Someone on June 9, 2010
Thanks glamlovinkitty. It seems silly to be worrying about it now that I’ve said it. And (hopefully) you’re right :] I’ll never have to see any of the people again after my 10 seconds of ‘fame’ on stage, even if i do fall off. Must just remember to breathe and not have a heart attack. Maybe I’ll even give Rescue Remedy another go as people do seem big on it.
Also Zoe, you’re not alone and in the long run it’ll just mean you’ll have had fewer embarrassing incidences to regret – unless that’s an extremely cynical and insightful view into my own experiences! Just chill; it’ll all work out awesome.
Posted by Megan on June 9, 2010
P.S. Not ten minutes after I posted, a friend sent me this link to an article about quality sleep. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/dont-sleep-longer-ndash-sleep-smarter-1994018.html
Posted by Megan on June 9, 2010
Meg, I went through boughts of epic insomnia for a long time. Things that helped a lot:
1. Keeping active (biking, running, any exercise, really) during the day. Making your body physically tired is a great help.
2. Making sure there is NO electronic equipment on in your sleeping area. No laptops in bed, no texting in bed, no television in the bedroom. Don’t take studying into bed either. Make bed your SLEEPING PLACE ONLY. You don’t want to associate it with the worries of the day. (Fun reading is generally okay, though, as long as it’s distracting enough.)
3. Finding something else to do. If you’re going bed at 9 and not falling asleep until 1, do something productive with that time. Get up, read, revise, whatever. Lying around worrying about not sleeping is almost the worst thing you can possibly do. I know it stresses me out a hell of a lot and makes my (eventual) sleep very fitful and interrupted.
Good luck! Exam time is hellish as it is, so I hope you get some good rest soon.
Posted by Dawn on June 9, 2010
Some Advice For Gabi!
I am the most nervous and self conscious person you could ever meet and 9 weeks ago my Daughter got married at Manchester Town Hall watched by about 120 people.
Not only did I have to attend the wedding but I had also promised to walk her down the Aisle of The Town Hall!
Thank Goodness for “Rescue Remedy”!
A couple of sprays for me and Laura, The Bride, before we got into the Wedding Car and then again when we were very nervously waiting for “Here Comes The Bride”.
We held hands walking down the Aisle and I was actually smiling and laughing at the fact she was nearly tripping over her dress!
My other Daughter amycool couldn’t believe how calm we both were.
So definately buy a “Rescue Remedy” spray and practice with it beforehand. (I used it when I attended my first Colleague Council Meeting at Sainsbury’s).
Good Luck XXX
Posted by Meg on June 9, 2010
Hi Mark (and everyone else)
I have a Can I Help You thingy. Here it is:
I cannot sleep. Well. I can. But not much. Every night for the last week or so, I have been going to sleep at about 1am at the earliest. I go to bed at about 9 or 10 each night and I’m getting really bored of lying awake. It’s also really annoying since I have to get up at 6.45 in the morning to get ready for school. I’ve been literally falling asleep at school which isn’t very helpful because of GCSE’s and things. Yesterday I came home from school and went straight to sleep for 2 or 3 hours – meaning I only had about an hour to revise for my history GCSE exam which took place today (I think it went okay, but again I was slightly falling asleep at the end of it.) I’m just getting really annoyed at being half asleep the whole time. Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks for any suggestions
Posted by Corey on June 9, 2010
Thank you all for the advice given. It isn’t my place to interfere is it, he will hopefully realise what shes like himself one day. Felt good to ask the group though!.
Gabi: As some have mentioned, Rescue Remedy works for some (not all). My sister swears by it to calm her down when stressed, and it enables her to focus on her work again within seconds.
And, Barley Sugars are the perfect car sweet, so much so that the only place I can ever find them is at Motorway services.
Louisel: Arj Barker. I saw him the other week and loved his stuff. Even better if you like Flight Of The Conchords
Zoe Fell: As others have said, nothing to worry about. These things just happen when they do, then afterwards you wonder what you were worried about in the first place. When I was younger I was soooo nervous round girls, never knew how to make a first move……until one moved on me when I least expected it. Suddenly became easier after that. Don’t fret!
Martin: Pick Maicon instead. Dani Alves tends to play as a substitute or a right sided midfielder for Brazil and only very occasionally at right back. Maicon is the first choice and is even more attack minded!.
Posted by Lydia on June 9, 2010
I have an agony aunt type question. I read your article about trying to be more optimistic the other day, and I was just wondering how you stopped your pessimism from stopping you doing things.
Like, I really, really want to be a writer (I know what I’ve written here is crap and makes no sense, but I actually get nervous commenting on stuff. I can’t help it) but I am way too sure that I will fail to ever let people actually see stuff that I’ve written. It would be awesome if you had any advice on that. If you know what I’m talking about, I know this doesn’t make all that much sense.
Thank you [:
Posted by glamlovinkitty on June 9, 2010
Oh yes, Kate, Josie Long and Adam Hills! Yes. And Andrew Maxwell, Stewart Lee (who has a weird time slot this year!), Chris Addison, Tom Basden, tiny Tiernan Doueib, David O’Doherty…
Posted by Kate W on June 9, 2010
Woo – I’ve got a job! Thanks; I shall try to summarize in a timely, succinct and vaguely entertaining fashion.
Corey – as almost everyone’s said, probably best not to get involved. For all you know, this guy’s already aware of his fiancée’s philanderings. If he isn’t, he may not believe you and your colleague will definitely loathe you for dobbing her in.
Megan – great suggestions there for a kid-friendly London day out. Can’t top ‘em!
Louisel – all Glamlovinkitty’s suggestions are heartily seconded. Other thoughts: Daniel Kitson (comedy god). No idea what his show’s about, but it’ll be beautifully crafted, funny, may make you cry & is on in the morning so shouldn’t clash with too much. Adam Hills is just an injection of joy and fun, and tends to involve his audience a lot, so you’re guaranteed a unique show. Josie Long’s also fantastic; warm, funny and a complete original. Ah, Edinburgh!
Posted by cymruangel on June 9, 2010
Can you help with the following:
My boyfriend works for a small company, a job that he got thanks to my introduction, where he is the only salesperson. This means that he is often on the road for meetings with various institutions and that he’s under quite a lot of pressure to deliver contracts. As a result, he often brings work home with him.
All, so far, fine.
But he tends to do nothing all evening, then start work at 11pm, working into the small hours of the morning (most recently unil 5am). He then complains about feeling tired and drained, and has no energy to do things, including daytime work (although of course he goes into the office as usual anyway). He also wakes me up when he (eventually) rolls into bed as I’m a light sleeper, so I’m getting tired and irritable too…
How do I persuade him to work at more sociable hours, for the sake of his health and sanity? I will go into a period of a lot of work in the Autumn, and had thought about bringing things home with me ratehr than staying in the office late, and encouraging him to work at the same time as me – what do you think, and do you have any other ideas?
Posted by Laura on June 9, 2010
Corey – yours is definitely a bit of a tricky one. As others have said, it would be best for you not to get involved. It sounds as though you are not friends with either of them so it’s not really your place to say anything. As for knowing his friend – if you were to mention it to him, he would undoubtedly tell his friend. Fair enough, but said friend would ask him how he knew, you would get mentioned and things could well turn nasty, and they then might have a falling out themselves. Also, the cuckolded chap would end up feeling like a complete twat because he would think that everyone was talking about him behind his back. I suspect if you were to mention it to her, you would not get a terribly nice response and would make your working life a nightmare.
Zoe – I was 14 when I had my first ‘proper’ kiss and I cried and didn’t kiss anyone again for ages. When I was about 18 I made up for it big-time and many of those entanglements still cause me much upset and embarrassment, even though I am now 30 and have been in the same relationship for 10 years. I was the exact opposite of you and let myself go way too much at parties (that makes me sound awful – I’m not, I just made some really bad drunken decisions). You should definitely not worry about it, but just try to relax a bit more at parties so you feel like you can enjoy them more. That said, parties aren’t for everyone, and perhaps you are one of those people. I doubt you will cringe looking back on your teenage years when you are my age… And yes, things will just happen, so don’t worry!
Posted by glamlovinkitty on June 9, 2010
@Someone – I’ve worked in universities for 17 years and have worked at more graduations than you could shake a stick at. Honestly, there are so many of us working at these things, and everything is so tightly organised, that the chances of anything going wrong are absolutely miniscule. If it’s anything like the ones here, there will be staff in every conceivable place, including the stairs, to make sure everything goes just right. Also, remember you’ll actually only be in the spotlight for a matter of seconds. Besides which, you deserve recognition for what you’ve done, enjoy it! I’ve personally graduated twice, and my ceremonies took place in the Royal Concert Hall which has not only stairs to the stage, but a super-slidey polished floor. I managed to do it without falling on my arse. Look forward to celebrating what you’ve achieved and remember almost everyone will be feeling just as nervous.
@Corey – I’d be tempted to say something and if I knew the guy I probably would. But in this case he might not even believe you and think (perish the thought) that you actually fancied this bird yourself. Also, its possible he’s just as much of a tool as she is. Steer clear.
@Lousiel – two days will be tricky given that a lot of the best shows seem to be scheduled at similar times, but for an excellent afternoon show, I recommend Jason Cook (hes on at the stand). Id also recommend Sarah Millican, Richard Herring, Axis of Awesome (I assume theyre coming though Ive not heard for definite) and anything involving Sammy J/Heath McIvor.
Posted by Katy on June 9, 2010
@ Corey, I would definately steer clear. Things like this always come out in the wash, and if it were me I wouldnt like someone I dont know wading in and causing upset. Plus theres every chance that he wont believe you, she’ll know what you’ve said to him and could then make your working days a misery.
@ Gabi, I know you said you’ve tried herbal stuff, have you tried Rescue Remedy? I used that for all my A-Levels and it worked a treat. If nothing works, just remember they are exams and you can only do your best. Sounds simple, but it really is true.
@ Zoe. I was also 19 when I had my first snog, despite what my friends think. Its just one of those things, it’ll happen when it happens. I look back now (10 years on) and realise how much I missed out on. There were romantic opportunities there for me to take but I was so worried about everything that I didnt notice. And I kick myself for it now. So relax, have fun. People are attracted to people they see enjoying themselve, something it took me a few years to work out.
re MP3 player. I know I was rubbish and missed the 2 opportunities to meet it whilst it was in London, I wouldnt mind being involved in the next stage when it gets back from Ireland. I’ve never been to Brighton, despite it not being far away, and would be more than happy to venture into the unknown and do so!
Posted by Corey on June 9, 2010
Its the point Rick makes though that bothers me the most. The thought that kids may be brought into this in the future and he never finds out, yet I could have done something about it!…but I take the point….its not my place to worry I guess!?!
Posted by Corey on June 9, 2010
All good advice thank you!, and all thoughts that have gone through my mind. But I should point out that although I do not know him, a good friend of mine does and could easily speak to him, not to mention telling me that he is a good guy.
Posted by Aislinn on June 9, 2010
I love that first comment. Please do talk about pigeons, Mark.
Posted by rachel (pandora) on June 9, 2010
i’ve been working on the two problems that mark has already helped me with – i’m not fretting about the lack of nice boys and i’ve applied for proper jobs like a GROWN UP. without crying or anything.
SO, this leaves me free to dish out advice to others -
@Gabi – exercise helps stress. i have been known to charge about the local park for a bit when annoyed, although i’m really not very good at running. and as for car sweets, its got to be fruit sherbets, surely…?
@Corey – i agree with rick, try and convince them to realise their mistakes themselves, rather than mentioning it to their fiance.
@Sarah – i would go for ‘Red Lotus’, which is apparently a retro cocktail that has no specific recipe. so perfect for mystery!
@Zoe – we have discussed this already via Twitter, we’re THAT organised.
Posted by Chris on June 9, 2010
I’m a very happy man at the moment so here are my words of advice to those less fortunate that I. Oh I’m the same Chris as 2nd from bottom (and previous blogs etc) just was in a rush earlier (now linked to twitter for more ramblings).
1. Cory: Steer well clear of this situation! Plenty of people below have given much more detailed advice and better than I could anyway so I’ll save the repetition.
2. Sarah: Grenadine. It’s the green syrupy stuff in Tequila Sunrises (which I have a particular liking too). Kind of cheating. If not Absinthe is a sure success at some parties if your friends are anything like mine and can be found in red although usually green, and it’s a bit different. Always makes for an interesting night…
3. Zoe Zoe Zoe! Go and enjoy yourself, go and party and have fun. A clear head is the sign of a bad night out! But do take care of the glasses. I know what you mean about the whole confidence thing (actually it’s funny that this should pop up on here, I was kinda inspired by seeing Mark himself being apparently under-confident in shows/radio that kinda made me be confident in being unconfident, which works, see!). But seriously, don’t worry, these kinda things all just fall into place with patience, the trick is just to relax and and let the best things in life come to you. That’s what I find
Haha Do like Rick’s comment though I can’t remember my first time but I’m sure it was a total embarrassment!
(Disclaimer: this implies that everything works out well for me, I would need my own blog to explain how wrong that is; things are a mess!)
They’re the only one’s I can help with, seems to be a bit of a relationships/party theme going on, not so great with dealing with stress etc, A-levels are hard but don’t over work yourself. Do hope the exam goes well Gabi, best of luck to anybody in that situation! And everybody in general!
No expensive herbal remedies jokes? Well I’m not going to lower the tone now.
Can’t wait to see what Mark says about Pigeons.
And since when have people apologised for writing lengthy blog comments? Have some of that!
Posted by Megan on June 9, 2010
Ha! Thanks, Helen. I’ve spent a fair bit of time in London (when there cheap day fares from Brum) and I frequently end up at St Paul’s accidentally.
Thank you for the kid suggestions (the kids in question live in Berkshire), though. I imagine that we will do one or five things on the list.
Posted by Rick Procter on June 9, 2010
@Corey: Hello – goodess me, I don’t envy you on this one. Bet it’s a weight on your mind. Still, here’s what I think… You can’t come out and tell him, since it just isn’t your business (as per a couple of earlier comments) but, if you can, I would try and talk to the disloyal lady herself. Make her really think about what she’s doing. It’s probably not easy to talk to her especially bearing in mind what I guess from your comment your relationship with her is like. Thing is though, I just abhor the idea of innocent kids being brought up amongst such circumstances. If the marriage has any chance of working properly, it should be based on trust at the least. And if it isn’t, she might be running the risk of being resented by her future kids for many years.
@Zoe: I was 19 when I had my first “snog” and it sounds like I was a lot like you too – bad at parties and all that. But in time, these things fall into place, I reckon. At the risk of sounding patronising, 19 is still very young and you’ve got plenty of time. I was also totally rubbish at snogging that very first time, but hopefully I’ve got a bit better since. Hopefully. A bit. Maybe.
Posted by Natalie-Helen on June 9, 2010
Oh my god I’m sorry about that.
T_T
Posted by Natalie-Helen on June 9, 2010
Hey Megan, hope you have a lovely holiday.
I’m taking it that the friends you are meeting up with are not from London (but if they are I’d ask them first ^_^)
The Science Museum, Natural History Museum and the British Museum. All are free, all are soo much fun. Science has plenty of interativities and also and IMAX 3D cinema ( tho you have to pay extra for that) Natural History has a moving/roaring dinosaur and an earth quake simulator amongst other fab stuff. The British is brillian for Ancient Egypt. All very child friendly and will often have activities etc in the hols and the weekends.
Covent Garden is normally full of street performers so there is always something to watch there and a market of lovely artisan-y people.
Also, if you fancy a walk or its a relatively nice day the South Bank is great. You can sort of start at Waterloo and walk to London Bridge to incorporate it. County Hall (Waterloo end) is next to Westminster Bridge on the other side of the river there is Big Ben if you want a listen ^_^. Also the Aquarium and the London Eye. The Eye is very reasonable and a great way to see across London. The Aquarium is a little more expensive but if fish are you’re thing..?
Further along there’s Royal Festival Hall and the National Theatre. Normally some pretty cool street stuff around here (giant grass covered sofa, coffee table and lamps for example) And a graffiti covered skate park thing.
Keep going and you get to the Millennium or wobbly Bridge, across that there’s St Paul’s Cathedral. And on the south side the Tate Modern (free again) and full of modern art. Again child friendly and there are often activities for them.
Just past that is Shakespeare’s Globe (You can get pretty cheap tickets for the pit if you fancy anything but it helps to book) and the Clink Prison Museum.
It’s a pretty long walk and you’re unlikely to be able to go all through the Aquarium and the Tate and go on the Eye etcetc all in one day. But it is a lovely walk and you get good views of the other side of the river.
A nice lazy sunny day thing is any one of the parks. Hyde Park is particularly good.
In terms of where to meet I’d suggest picking where to go, using Google Maps and the Transport for London site to find the nearest station and meeting there or in the enterence of the museums.
Um, sorry this is crazy long. But like you said its a big place. ^_^
Its a little outside the centre but I recently went to Kensington Palace which has an incredible thing on at the moment called the Enchanted Palace, complete with Princesses. ( Can’t tell you more, it would ruin it slightly if you chose to go) Possibly for girls more than boys.
Also I’d recomend seeing if you could get Oyster cards, they’re pay as you go and you get cheaper fares also quicker.
Sorry for the slight essay, but I love London so there is so much I want you too do! ^_^
Posted by Someone on June 8, 2010
Loverly blogging as always, Mark… T’ain’t the subject matter but the words that count in these cases, me thinks.
I have a question if I may…
I’m going to graduate in a bit – i.e. a month – and am slightly incredibly terrified. I really don’t want to do it because it involves being looked at by a lot of people. And I hate that.
It also involves stairs, and I hate them too.
I’m thinking about trying to find some anti-anxiety meds if they exist so that I don’t have a panic attack, kind of like Gabi was saying.. kind of :s. I’ve tried rescue remedy things but they do nothing.
Even just sitting down and imagining the ceremony and everything that could go wrong and which would prompt mean (all) people to point and laugh makes my heart go mental and me feel ill. So yeah, I wouldn’t go at all were it not for my parents who won’t take no for an answer, and also I kind of feel like I owe it to myself to be confident finally, after 21 years of being trodden on by others and myself.
I need to grow a pair. Or something more ladylike.
How did yours go? Any ideas, anyone? Much obliged.
Posted by LisaD on June 8, 2010
Gabi: If you’re not willing to take up smoking or drinking in some serious way, (that’s a joke of course) then I say let yourself have a good old fashioned panic for a day or so, let it run wild. Then have a nice cup of tea followed by an hour of absolute silence. Serious silence, no music, no phone, just you in a quiet room and try and keep your mind still as well. I have trouble with that last part but if thoughts start to race through my head I find that thinking the word “shush!” actually works. It isn’t meditation per se, since there’s no goal of enlightenment or anything. I find that planned panic followed by quiet is like the mental equivalent of sitting in a sauna after exercising; it can give you the chance to get everything out of your system and face things with a clean slate.
Corey: the phrase “not your problem” was invented for situations like this. You aren’t this man’s friend, interfering in his marital plans is just that: interference. Doesn’t seem like this woman has a gift for subtlety so she’s gonna get caught. In fact the increasingly extreme behavior may be a sign that some part of her is desperate to get caught. In any case, this is drama you should be trying to avoid not throw yourself into.
Posted by Carl on June 8, 2010
I love team work. Hope I can be useful soon, Mark x
Posted by Megan on June 8, 2010
Phew, I’m honoured. My compiling will be done tomorrow most likely.
I have a two part Can I Help You? question:
1. I’m meeting some friends from the internet (from a community I’ve belonged to for YEARS, so it’s only kind of awkward – I’ve phoned/exchanged Christmas cards with a couple of them) when I’m in/around London in July. One of them might bring his kids (7, 9, and 11, I think). London is big (well, duh) and I have no idea where we should meet or what we should do. Ideas for stuff to do in a very big city where I would normally try to find Radio 4 tapings to attend and pubs to drink and read in? (Nerd London is the only London for me, apparently.)
2. As my boss and his wife booked *their* holiday and fucked up the dates of mine, I’m missing your (meaning Mark’s) early July shows. What should I go see in the Southeast the weekends of July 17 and July 31 instead? (Keep in mind that I’m Canadian and don’t mind longish journeys for an evening’s entertainment.)
Posted by Phill Sacre on June 8, 2010
Zoe, I was 20 when I had my first girlfriend. I know people who were plenty older than that though. No need to worry
Posted by Martin on June 8, 2010
I have Danny Alves (the Brazilian full-back) in my World Cup dream team. Friends have told me this is unwise as he doesn’t always play apparently. I know this isn’t exactly a agony aunt question but it is topical and I know you are a football fan so you must know what your talking about.
Thanks!!!
Posted by Misha on June 8, 2010
Second comment because I have nothing better to do than make suggestions.
Gabi – Consider going to a doctors, I had to do my GCSE’s on diazepam. If not, try forcing a panic attack, take lots of shallow breaths, and keep going til you actually hyperventilate, it won’t last long and it really does relax you, although you might need a little lie down afterwards.
Louise – If you’re already seeing Mark I’d reccomend Tim Fitzhigham, lovely chap, very funny. I’m rereading his book at the moment hence why it came to mind.
And Rachael – Consider arch support insoles, they’re cushioned in the heel and the arch and work wonders. especially if you’re already got special feet.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on June 8, 2010
Congrats to Kate and Megan.
And I look forward to the time when the ipod comes near Reading.
My can I help you: (there’s probably not much to help)
My job requires me to stand up for long periods of time (e.g. 12 hours on Sunday, 8 hours today), with very few breaks. Sometimes this is stood in one spot and other times it’s walking around picking up litter so always up and down. It very much hurts my legs and back, any tips?
Posted by Zoe Fell on June 8, 2010
Sorbet is lovely, particularly lemon flavour. And I don’t own a proper suit. I feel that I’m somehow letting you lot down in terms of my tuxedo-less-ness.
I have a letter that I’d like to enter into “Can I Help You”. *Deep breath*
Auntie Mark, I have a question for you. A question with a pretty long preface.
This year, I turned 19. I have never been kissed. It sounds like something from a film. Hold on…
Joking aside (Yes, there is a film called Never Been Kissed. Trust me – it’s rubbish. Don’t waste an hour or so of your lives watching it.), it’s an odd thing. Young people in the press get such a hard time for being promiscuous – don’t get me wrong, I’ve got friends who go out alone to find someone to go home with, I’ve just never been that way inclined.
I’ve never been one to let myself go at parties – I’m often too busy worrying about everyone else to have fun. Sometimes I wish that I was the complete opposite but then other times, I’m glad to wake up with the same amount of shoes I left the house with, an unbroken pair of glasses and a clear head.
Perhaps it’s a confidence thing, perhaps I’m just a bit strange.
So I suppose what I want to know is…is this unusual? How old were you when you had your first romantic entanglement? And being that little bit older and a lot wiser than me, have I got anything to fret over? Will things eventually just happen? And my whole issue with partying. Do I need to just stop worrying so much and enjoy myself?
Any advice from either you or the rest of you lovely people would be greatly appreciated.
Posted by Chris H on June 8, 2010
Congratulations Gabi!! Wow – A-levels and a driving test. Both are very stressful so I can see why you’ve been feeling nervous… You’ve managed a lot of stress without exploding so far, so pat yourself on the back and eat some comfort food.
Barley sugars are good for the car, and you get to feel grown up because they come in little tins.
Corey – crikey. If you don’t know him, steer well clear…
If only I could deal with my own problems so quickly.
Posted by Sarah on June 8, 2010
I have a kind-of question. I’m hoping that Mark or some of my fellow Watsonians might be able to help me with this one before the weekend. I’m going to a cocktail party and have been instructed to bring a ‘secret liquid’ (which I have already decided on) but I need to give it a mysterious name. Any thoughts? If it helps, this liquid is going to be a pinky/red colour.
Thanks very much for any suggestions! x
Posted by louisel on June 8, 2010
I have a question
Who would you (or anyone reading) recommend to see at the Edinburgh Fringe? I’ve never been before and I’m going for two nights at the start of it, and I’m really excited. I just don’t know who to see! I’ve booked tickets to see you (yay), but I can’t decide who else to book for. Any recommended comedians?
Ooh and Gabi, I always try deep breathing. I know how cheesy it sounds, but especially right before an exam or something I like to spend a few minutes on my own just breathing and trying not to freak out. Speaking of which, arghhh I’ve just realised my History exam’s in 10 hours! Why am I not asleep?!
Posted by Lisa brunders on June 8, 2010
Great blog, I don’t know why you feel blogs like tonight’s are somehow inferior, not at all. Quite the contrary. I’m a big fan of sorbet.
Goodnight
Posted by Rachael on June 8, 2010
I’m excited for tomorrow now, putting abit of pressure on yourself there!
Posted by Katie on June 8, 2010
Gabi, have you tried having an absolutely massive panic – just standing in front of a mirror and going “Arrrrrrrrrrgh, I’m going to arse this right up!” etc a day or so before your exam? I quite like doing that. It makes me feel a bit better. It’s quite therapeutic.
If I’m not wearing a tux, I feel naked. And I hate feeling naked.
Ahem.
x
Posted by Kathryn on June 8, 2010
I have a huge sorbet craving now.
As one of the Irish people involved in the MP3 challenge I’m getting rather excited.
Posted by Corey on June 8, 2010
I have a genuine submission for ‘Can I help you’:
I work with a girl who is due to get married within the next year or so. Nothing bad so far, except for the fact that I know she has cheated on her intended……..but it doesn’t stop there, it wasn’t a one off, she has been carrying on a affair with at least one person for nearly 2 years, slept with another and offered her services to a business client when he muttered the lovely words ”while you’re down there!” as she was bending down to put papers in a box!……shes not a nice person.
Its definitely true, I am not one of her conquests, but I do know its true. The problem is her boyfriend. I don’t know him but should I meddle in a situation like this and let him know what shes like? or is it not for me to get involved?.
My initial feeling is that I would want to know and should say something but its going to hurt him and what if she changed after they married!?, I may have prevented a marriage that could have worked…..unlikely but it could happen.
Advice from a comedian and his great blog followers is welcome!.
Posted by Emmy on June 8, 2010
Congratulations Kate and Megan! Wahoo!
Mentally, I always wear a tuxedo. That is all.
Posted by Gabi on June 8, 2010
I have a query. I seem to be getting some fairly nasty attacks of nerves recently. I have my A-levels, (starting tomorrow) as many do, and after trying a host of ridiculously over priced herbal ‘nerve busters’, I am finding nothing works. Have you Mark, or anyone else for that matter, have any tried and tested ways of getting rid of nerves.
Also one less important thing, what is the best confectionary to buy for the inside of my car. I passed my test yesterday (fourth time lucky apparently), and am in need of a sweet which isn’t so good that I will be seething with anger whenever one is taken, but also good enough that I will enjoy sucking on one on a long journey.
Great blogging as always Mark
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 8, 2010
Success, second time lucky and all, anyway, time to read the blog…
Okay, everything seems to be in order. Well done to Kate and Megan, experience is often helpful in things, such as blowfish preparation, but not all things, for example Kamikaze piloting. I think this falls into the former category.
No chance The Package will travel East (or South) of London?
And finally, I’d like to apologise for my first comment, if you could decipher it it read ” No kicking [in reference to yesterday's first comment fiasco], because I am first. Unfortunately, I have no time to spell, but may you please talk about pigeons”
Posted by Misha on June 8, 2010
I remember being heartily dissapointed by sorbet as a kid. It looked like ice cream, but it wasn’t! Highly confusing as a child.
I’ve not tried it in years though. Maybe it’s nice now.
Posted by Chris on June 8, 2010
Top blogging. Excited about tomorrow already.
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on June 8, 2010
NO KICKING I AM FIEARTS NO TIME tO SPELL TGALK ABOUT PIGEONS