Unfinished business
I’ve made enough fuss in my blog about how these days I’m always tired and never have enough time to do anything, so I’m not going to keep saying it, but from now on, assume it is the case unless I start a blog with ‘I’m fine’. So in other words, knackered unless proven energetic. Actually, energy is not really the issue; I’ve got plenty of it at my disposal, and in any case, my wife is putting far more physically into raising the child than I am, simply because there are some things only a mother can do – so there’s no point feeling sorry for myself because of fatigue. It’s more just the astonishing difficulty of both continuing to have careers AND do your best for a new person. If anyone reading this has kids, I’d appreciate if you could tell me it gets slightly easier. However, if that’s not your experience, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell me. Cowardly perhaps, but hey. It’s my blog. Hehe.
A couple of weeks ago I had the charming but rash idea of saying that if you posted the first Comment, you could request a topic for at least part of the next blog. It’s charming because I like anything which encourages interactivity and because people deserve reward for the ego-boost they give me by bothering to comment; it’s rash because I have now, inevitably, built up a small backlog. Moreover I’m struggling to remember which blogs they’re all attached to. So, here are the commissions I recall off the top of my head: can we hear more about your cat? Have you met any of your heroes? Tell us about Supertramp. What should I do with my life? Is happiness achievable? Can you talk about neglected pets?
If you think you have a claim which isn’t among these, refresh my memory, and I’ll deal with it. In the meantime, shorthand answers to the above.
Cat: His name’s Friday; he’s a tabby. My wife talked me into getting a cat; I’ve got no history of getting on with animals. She was right to insist on it – I’ve developed into something of a ‘cat person’. I now actively go out of my way to pet or coo over cats in the street. There’s no denying dogs are more affectionate and more like me in temperament, but perhaps opposites attract. In any case I’m very fond of our cat, although his Achilles heel as a pet – as with many cats – is a tendency to slay birds and animals ranging in size from voles to small gazelles, and then leave them for us as a gesture of support.
Heroes: As you’ll be aware, the biggest influence on me as a live performer, other than the Super Furry Animals, is mind control genius Derren Brown, and if you’ve seen me in the past few months y0u will have heard the story of my attempt to get involved in one of his shows. Even he is not exactly what I’d call a hero, more someone I admire immensely, but perhaps that’s just a matter of terminology. In general I think the maxim that you shouldn’t meet your heroes is an accurate one; most people are better in the imagination, or at a distance imposed by performance, than in real life. Most of the people I most admire, I’d be pretty happy never to run into.
Supertramp: Something of a musical curiosity of the late seventies to early eighties (I think). A handful of hits, but mostly known for ‘Breakfast In America’ (which was ‘mashed up’ recently by one of these new fangled recording artists people my age don’t understand) and ‘The Logical Song’. It’s this song that contains the lyric ‘there are times, when all the world’s asleep/The questions run too deep/For such a simple man’. I first heard this when I was four, and living in Canada; it was accompanied by a video which showed a man lying in bed with a huge question mark floating over his head. More than a quarter-century later, when I’m struggling with something too big for my little brain, this soundbite still pops into my head. Pop music’s an extraordinary thing. Supertramp’s sound is hard to describe; a sort of staccato, ballady pop, not a million miles away from the quieter moments of their near namesakes Supergrass.
Shit, got to go. I’ll round up the other ones tomorrow. Whoever it was that asked what to do with life – Chris of Bumpstead? – can I have more background information?
Posted by Knox on May 24, 2011
Cats – definitely the way to go. Though dogs can be a massive moral boost when you’re feeling a bit short of self-esteem: you appear, they go wild, absolutely mad, wagging tails and wriggling their whole bodies, all the better to herald your miraculous apperance; you go away for about two minutes, come back, you get exactly the same ferociously joyous greeting – it never wanes.
Just in terms of looking after my niece, i reckon it gets easier as kids get older, as they can do more for themselves, and communicate.
Posted by Andrew on October 8, 2010
Kids – yes, it does get easier. Or at least, it stays difficult but in different ways, and their difference keeps it interesting. The only piece of advice I generally give to new fathers is not to worry if they find their babies boring – my first bored me senseless until he was nearly one, and I spent the whole year thinking I was an awful father and a terrible human being. Happily they then start reacting and talking and then getting a personality, which is pretty freaky. Especially the bits of their personality which are just like you.
Posted by Rhian on June 9, 2010
The baby raising really does get easier, and more fun as baby morphs to toddler and they dance about and do amusing things.
The only things our cat has ever ‘caught’ was a large sausage roll, and a pig’s ear dog chew, which was a bit un-nerving – it was massive.
Posted by MusicalLottie on May 31, 2010
Heroes – most of the living people whom I most admire I have met and then come to admire them. Except you and Hugh Laurie, though if I were to meet either of you I’d probably find myself a bit tongue-tied.
Posted by Corey on May 30, 2010
Ummm Derren Brown. I’m sure he’s a lovely person and in the past I’ve enjoyed his shows but that Lottery numbers farce has put me off.
I can’t believe he denied that it was a split screen, its so obvious you can actually see the split on one of the frames.
Good showman though.
Posted by Chris (Still of Bumpstead but we're dropping that as I seem to be the only Chris anyway) on May 30, 2010
I was half interested to see the kind of advice you would give to a near enough total stranger on the subject! But of course, let me explain…
Basically I’m 2/3rds of the way through a university course I’ve near enough completely lost interest in with absolutely no career ideas to follow it up with. I don’t even have an idea for a dissertation. I will finish the course, I’m too far in not to complete, but I have no idea what career path I would take. And I’m fed up of living off pasta and mars bars.
I’m doing Geography by the way. And I don’t want to be a weather man or a Geography teacher which seem to be the only two suggestions from most people
. And anyway the world doesn’t need another town planner or geologist or whatever.
I’d been thinking about it for a long while, the only thing I really want to do would be some outrageous venture across America, which I currently don’t have the money to do I don’t think, and some time I will try and do that. Someday. Or something like it. Maybe a career path will stand out some time in the future but until then I should make myself busy. Reading about your brothers efforts; supporting the sport he clearly loves in an area so far away from the commerce and glamour now associated with top level football which I personally hate, is inspiring. For me to do myself though, it’s a bit too grand but a great idea.
So, given that I cant think of anything worthwhile for me to do with myself, my first thought, of course, was What Would Mark Watson Do? (Not quite accurate, I havn’t had any realistic plans for many years). Yes, I could speak to a careers adviser or somebody but no, they are not trained in this area, I ask a comedian/entertainer/writer/sport fan for a reason…
In the short term, I’ve got about 100 days, in fact more than that I think until uni term starts again, and apart from doing some work to pay the rent for a house I’m not living in at the moment I am a free man. And this time needs filling. So after all that lets refine this a bit. How about; what should I do with my summer? At least as a starting point. Whatever one you prefer or have more experience dealing with. I’ll be up in E’brgh for the fringe fest so if anybody has an idea that can tie in with something there that would be grand; ties in with all the other challenges going around. Maybe this can be decided by a vote or something.
I’m usually based at my uni in Bath, but currently back in the middle of nowhere somewhere near Cambridge. If that makes any difference to anything.
Oh, and I still havn’t thought of a TYSIC. Get your suggestions in here! (see this can all tie in together nicely).
If this all seems a bit too much you can always just recommend a Supertramp album but that would involve admitting a certain amount of defeat.
Not sure if that helped much if at all. I look forward to reading the blog titled “I’m Fine”. And thanks for the blog ages ago on exams/revision. Made the world of difference.
Shit got to go film starting. Tonight it is The Birds. Essay over.
Posted by Natalie-Helen on May 30, 2010
I’m glad I’m not the only one going “You lived in Canada?!?!” At some point it would be great learn more about that if you wouldn’t mind. I will have to try and try to be first commenter ^_^
x
Posted by Emmy on May 30, 2010
Aah, I feel your pain. I’m now so constantly tired that I no longer feel tired and instead act drunk while being completely sober. Slurring my sentences, bumping into things, etc. But you have a much better and more important reason for exhaustion than I do. Having never raised a small human, I can’t promise that it will get better, but it will. Because things always work out in the end, etc.
Can you maybe set aside just an hour solely for yourself? So you can do something that relaxes you. Or, you know, sleep. Take care of yourself. You are doing fantastically. Tea?
Posted by Ed Holroyd on May 30, 2010
Mark, in my experience, the parenting does get easier. My partner and I are both self employed and balancing work and parenting was really hard work for the first few months after the birth of our first child. Partly because of the lack of sleep; partly because we were used to working through the tiredness and thinking we could make up for it later on; and partly because of the sheer haphazardness of it all. It got much easier at 6 months when they started eating proper food as they slept better and the days became a little bit more predictable.
Posted by Heather on May 30, 2010
Friday is a great name for a cat!
And you lived in Canada?!?!?! Where abouts, exactly? And for how long?
Posted by Kate W on May 29, 2010
All the parenting I’ve seen suggests it gets significantly easier once you can get a full night’s sleep and aren’t permanently jet-lagged. On which note, I completely concur with Sam’s suggestion about The Late Review; it’s a fun feature, but a lot of work for someone who’s already busy and tired.
I’m definitely a cat person. Dogs are good too, but I can’t help think showing quite /that/ much enthusiasm and unconditional love every time I appear is a sign of somewhat low intelligence. Which maybe a sign of low self esteem. Either way, cats are significantly lower maintenance and less needy. Re Friday leaving you fleshy gestures of support, my dad’s cat once killed a mouse and not only brought it into the bedroom, but lifted up the duvet and posted it underneath. Just ready to be found by a waking up stretched-out foot….
Looking forward to the show tomorrow. Apparently there are only three tickets left, so anyone who wants one should move quickly!
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on May 29, 2010
I enjoy cats
in a platonic way
Posted by Kathryn on May 29, 2010
I’ve been lucky enough to meet three people I admire this year, and they were all lovely, but admittedly this was within the setting of waiting outside stage doors. Sore feet and getting drizzled on was worth it. But I would imagine it could be awkward to run in to someone on the street. I wouldn’t know what to say, really.
Posted by Sam on May 29, 2010
With regards to the unfinished business of the Very Late Review. I suggest perhaps appointing someone to compile the summaries of the reviews each week or so, and calculate an average score and review. You can then set the new ones, and even contribute something to some of the others. But it takes some of the pressure off you, is an interactive way of keeping a popular feature going, and still emparts the same information to both you and the reader.
A very stoic and sensible comment there with no humour in it at all, I feel I should correct this.
However I shan’t.
Posted by Someone on May 29, 2010
Aww, I’m pretty sure my cat is half dog. She got run over when she was a year or two old and now, or maybe before as well, she is a mental thing.
God she don’t half talk a lot! Shush cat, dear, shush. If you’re going to hunt you could at least fetch something you find tasty as Whiskas is clearly beneath you. Aw but she is cute though.
Posted by Anji on May 29, 2010
I grew up having dogs, always wanting a cat, but having a railway line at the end of the garden it was decided it wouldn’t be a good mix.
When we moved in we sort of rescued a cat, we called him Marmite, he ‘talked’ each time he came home and had just as much character at any dog. He was just more independent than dogs. He too loved to bring us presents, they didn’t have to be slayed either. He turned out to not be very good at his green cross code, and as upset as I was, I was glad to have had a chance to be a cat person for a year.
I don’t miss dodging remains and having to get my mum round when the alive mice come out.
Posted by Rachael on May 29, 2010
I have no experience but I assume that it does get easier because if parenthood carried on being that hard, for life, im not sure people would still keep doing it. Remember, this does mean that there will be someone to look after you when you get old, it’s in the contract.
Posted by Dawn on May 29, 2010
Mark, Parenthood gets much easier the more children you have!
I was really stressed out and knackered with my first baby Matthew but 16 months later Laura came along and I was totally chilled out!
Then Amy came along 20 months later and they all entertained each other and I was full of confidence.
Finally 3 years later Liam arrived so I had 4 children under 8 but I had everything I had ever wanted, my family was complete and I was an old hand at Motherhood
Posted by Anna on May 29, 2010
As wonderous, amazing and fantastic it is to have a small baby, it is bloody hard work. Especially if they don’t sleep. I’ve heard rumours that there are babies that sleep through from an early age, but I think they are the stuff of myth.
But it does get better. Nicky is now almost 14 months old and he is (mostly) a joy to be with. He understands a lot, can ask for food/drinks/nappy change/cuddle/toys (mainly by pointing and saying ‘ba’, but I generally know what he’s talking about), and I’m training him to be my little helper around the house. He’s particularly good at loading/unloading the washing machine… Most importantly, he finally got the hang of sleeping through (most of) the night about 6 weeks ago, which makes a hell of a difference. If you can get a few unbroken nights, anything is possible.
That’s my long winded way of saying yes, it gets a lot easier.
Posted by LisaD on May 29, 2010
Just got home after only one night away and my cat was so pleased to see me I almost couldn’t inside with the giant darling pushing against my legs. I have no problem with the idea that there are cat people and dog people, I just never understood why people have to assign value judgement to the other side. (ie: crazy cat lady)
Posted by Misha on May 29, 2010
Your cat sounds amazing, and I defy anyone who claims dogs are more affectionate to say that having met my cat. He rushes to the front door when I get in from school, and will get up and move sofas in order to sit next to me. Lovely thing that he is.
If it makes you feel better I’ve had my brother (9) all day, and despite getting very cold and wet he’s been really well behaved. They do get better.
Posted by Helen on May 29, 2010
One day I will be first to comment. Be Ready.
Very much enjoying this blog, still read every single day – thank you!
Posted by lisan66 on May 29, 2010
Woo first comment! Would you mind talking about how to find motivation, I’ve got my leaving cert. in 11days and i need motivation to study