The questions run too deep for such a simple man
Before we start, I should mention that, yes, we are still playing the game where if you make the first Comment, you get to choose one topic to be mentioned (however briefly) in the next blog. So Chris, I owe you one. I also owe Sam Schafer, if memory served. He asked me my opinions on the band The National. I really like them and I’m eagerly awaiting my chance to listen to their new album, which I downloaded recently. Hope that clears that up.
Still rather behind with things like our reviewing feature (The Very Late Review) and also the challenge where I said that I’d put right a mistake which someone made in the past. If anyone can be bothered, I would be grateful if you’d read the post entitled ‘The Longest Mistake Ever’ from three weeks ago and suggest – in a Comment below – the one you think is most worthy of being remedied. Many of them aren’t the kind of thing you can solve but, from memory, a couple of them might be redressed, even in a slightly roundabout way. So, basically, I’d like a shortlist. Any suggestions gratefully noted.
Also we need to catch up with where the iPod is on its trip round the country, and a great many more things besides. God! Stuff never stops happening on this blog, does it!
Except it sort of does sometimes, as I’m still too busy to do anything good (although I have half-written the Senegal report – it’ll appear tomorrow). All I’ve got time to do today is ask some questions. There are a few things I’d like cleared up. Some of them are factual, some are more philosophical.
1. Why is it that sometimes your phone signal disappears, even in the most populated places, or places where you know the signal must be fine? What determines how strong it is at any given moment? Is it to do with the phone itself, the network, or what? Does it matter if a lot of people are all using their phones at once? Also, is there a record somewhere of all the texts sent, or is that just what conspiracy theorists say?
2. I love yoghurt, but I hate cheese. Why? Am I demented?
3. These days, a lot of the most popular names – like Jack, Molly, and so on – are the same as were the most popular names in the 1920s. Are there any names, other than the ones of serial killers, etc, which will never come back into fashion? Will there ever be a comeback for Sid, Maud, Egbert? Which names from today will one day seem incredibly old-fashioned and silly? What determines it?
4. The whole ‘size zero’ thing and the craze for thinness in fashion (I know I harp on about this a lot). History shows that there have been many phases when curvier women were more fashionable. Will there ever be another such era or, this time, has thinness reached a critical mass where it will always dominate?
5. Who is the best person in the world?
6. Is it true dreams only take a few seconds? Even really complicated ones?
7. Do you reckon there might be aliens, after all? Maybe? In the end?
Answer any or all. Much obliged. See you tomorrow. M.
Posted by Knox on May 24, 2011
ps – this has been one of my favourite blog titles so far – no idea what (if anything) it references, but i just like it
Posted by Knox on May 24, 2011
1. People have already given proper answers for this, so I’ll skip to…
2. I love yoghurt, but I hate cheese. Why? Am I demented?
No – they are two completely different things, that just happen to start off with one of the same ingredients. They taste comepletely different, have a totally different texture, and smell must come into it too. Basically, though there are nice cheeses, most are just horrible. That said, there are only certain yoghurts that I like. And I’m pretty sure I’m not demented… er, actually…
3. I think people react against whatever’s popular and gradually create a new popular, but based on things that have already happened. Unfortunately, I don’t think either Egbert or Maud will ever be part of any new popular. I’m hoping names like chardonay (sp?), mercedes, etc will also fade away.
4. There will always be somewhere where curviness is favoured over skinniness, but unfortunately, I think media and the ridiculous ideals that it promotes will mean that skinny will remain fashionable for a very long time. Sad, but unfortunately, true.
5. Who is the best person in the world? – Easy – My niece – she is 5, and makes up songs that rhyme, but potentially have no real words in, and makes me dance when noone else can, and makes me laugh when noone else can, and quotes Scroobius Pip. She is awesome. (Scroobius Pip is a close second!).
6. You know that thing where you wake up, then go back to sleep for about ten minutes, and when you wake up again, you’ve had this massive david lynchian type head movie? Well, I guess that means yes.
7. Aliens? Definitely. Mulder had it right all along. I really do believe there are.
Posted by Dermot on June 5, 2010
As for the phone thing, it depends on users. Each cell site has a certain capacity – thats why you cant get through on New Years Eve for example. A cell site is surpirsingly small, thats how they can use them to find out where people are, down to a street or two in Central London. I like yoghurt, ambivalent about cheese, but dont like drinking milk. crazy. Curves v thin? Curves are much more sexually attractive, even at a primeval level – where we are sizing up potential brreding partners. Unfortunately, some people think clothes look better on thin people. Not me. I think some names of today – the made up ones, Tianna, Tanisha, Tashela, Alopecia – will be ridiculous in 5 years time. That said, I’ve had a ridiculous name since brth and quite like it. Best person in the world is my wife. You can ckeck if you like. Dont know about dreams or alines, some things are best undiscovered.
Posted by MusicalLottie on May 29, 2010
1) I’ve no idea but where I work I have no signal (T-mobile) until I wait a few minutes in the car park, but we have signal on the work mobiles (Vodafone). There’s also a spot in the kistchen at home where I have no signal.
As for text messages being stored, my phone will go through phases of telling me I have say, 2 new messages when in fact it’s one new message plus an old (usually deleted) one being re-delivered; the latter won’t mark itself as read until I read the new one, at which point it disappears. Whether this is my phone or the network I’ve no idea!
2. I do enjoy yoghurt but cheese? YEUCH!!! Unless it’s one of those soft cheeses that doesn’t taste of cheese (tastes of garlic or herbs instead, but even then some taste too cheesy for me).
3. I couldn’t come up with a coherent answer to this one but I have a colleague (late 20s) whose real name is Jethro. (He hates it and calls himself Jay instead.)
… I need time to read the rest of the blog posts that I’ve missed so shall stop there.
Posted by Rachel Winter on May 28, 2010
For the mistakes mission – I’d like to elect Hannah and Carey, just cos they are at two polar opposites of seriousness.
Carey is def most deserving, and would be quite easy I think – maybe a week (possibly in edinbro) of living as a 16 year old, ie wearing Impulse, being ill on cider, revising for GCSE’s etc.
And Hannahs would be pretty easy? I suggest the anti-aversion therapy start with watching Jerry Springer the Opera (dvd obv) or going to Priscilla Queen of the Desert (the least ‘musically’ of all west end musicals)?
I’m sure you’ll come up with someone inspired for either of these two deserving people!
Posted by Carey on May 28, 2010
Mobile phone/computers/the internet = magic. So you need to ask a wizard.
I want old fashioned names to come back, they’re nice. Like Jayne and Ella and George and Geoff! Unfortunately I don’t think many of the really awesome medieval names will come back like Godefroi (imagine saying that with a brummie accent!).
It’s not entirely size zero that worries me, yes it’s wrong and weird and I worry that the current teenage generation will panic that they can’t see their ribs or pinch most of the way round their collarbones. It’s the combination of size zero and the ‘hollywood’ wax that worries me. It makes women look like…child porn. Considering that the teenagers of today are so exposed to porn (feminist hat on) it worries me that the images they are being exposed to essentially show immature looking women. Also having been at uni for four years (plans to leave soon so I don’t get stuck) I have been to plenty of parties where porn is just on peoples laptops on the tables on play and the reaction (from the men) to a woman with a brazilian wax has been to shout about how hairy they are. This bothers me, it bothers alot of the women I know, we feel like we have to be bald to be attractive, that we may be rejected or scorned by sexual partners for not attempting to look prepubescent.
Yes there are aliens, there have to be some somewhere! How boring if there arn’t.
Posted by Laurs on May 27, 2010
Phone signal is strongest the less you need it, but for those moments when you really really need to make a call, then signal vanishes. Sod’s law some people call it, bloody irritating I call it.
Cheese is wonderful; yoghurt is blissful, especially frozen yoghurt!
I genuinely think that name traditions are a strange and weird concept. My name must have been incredibly popular in the early 80s as I went to school with a hell of a lot of like named people, not so many of us these days. I also think that we have much more contact with wider traditions and cultures which influence the names we like. Saying that though, when or if I have children, I have my names already chosen, nice traditional names, but with a slightly more modern spelling.
The whole size zero argument irritates beyond belief. Extremes at both ends are unhealthy (I’m at the other end of the damn scale). It hurts like hell to have people who don’t even know you pass judgment on you because of your size, thin or fat, especially when you do everything in your power to avoid being at the extreme. Unfortunately, society still believes that thin is better and that being fat is catching or infectious. I cannot believe that we live in a semi tolerant world, yet sitting next to a fat person on the bus appears to be the equivalent of being dragged to the seventh dimension of hell.
The best person in the world… Christ, that’s difficult. I’d have to say my ex. We’re still friends and the reason we’re not together is a long and complicated one. But he stuck by me knowing all my crap and he is the only person who can make me feel good about myself. And that’s a hard job some days.
On the topic of aliens, I think we would have to be very arrogant to believe that we are the only intelligent life form in the universe. I believe strongly in aliens, but I don’t believe that we’ve been visited by them in the ways that people claim. I think they are much more subtle than that…
Posted by Madeleine on May 27, 2010
2. Yogurt is sweet, cheese is savoury. Sweet things are substantially better then savoury things in every possible way. (unless your talking about that disgusting “natural” yogurt that is way too sour and is like eating foul chalk, in which case you are most certainly seriously) demented.
4. Blame Coco Chanel. She made fine lines, delicate cuts and a “boyish” (flat chested, small hips and waist) figure chic. If you look at most modern day fashion, it’s what looks good on thin people, especially the stuff thats pretty in right now (skinny jeans, leggings, shoulder pads, mini floral dresses ect)
5. My nana.
6. Apparently dreams can only take 20 seconds, and I believe it because when you think about it you don’t actually need to “experience” something in a dream in real time to know it’s happened. It’s kind of one second you’re the king of france, and then you’ve just killed a massive wolf, and then its demonic young are coming for your soul, and you’ve only got four seconds to eat as many cakes as you can so they find you too rich to be devoured (this is an actual dream I had). Twenty seconds is a long time too, count to twenty and I guarentee in that time you’ll get bored and think about doing something else.
7. Prolly, but they probablty exist in some kind of 8th demention, communicate though mind reading and can only live in temperatures of between 4000 and 45000 degrees. I don’t think we’ll ever meet any “humanoid” aliens.
Posted by Rose on May 27, 2010
I’m finding the yoghurt vs cheese debate very interesting. Perhaps there is a cosmic balance of yoghurt and cheese loving, that allows some people to love yoghurt and hate cheese, and vice versa. On that note, does anyone have a yoghurt phobia?
@LisaD Being a serial killer can actually increase the popularity of a name… at least if you’re a fictional serial killer – Dexter!
Also interesting that the vast majority of ‘best people’ in the world mentioned are men (except for BFFs and Sandra Bullock). Therefore, I will say Simone de Beauvoir, for her extremely important contributions to early feminism.
There are definitely aliens. Maybe there is even an alien on this blog!
Posted by Kate W on May 27, 2010
Great questions Mark, which have already been pretty thoroughly dealt with by the assembled masses. I’m stuck at HOW can anyone not enjoy cheese? I know you’ve mentioned this before and really don’t like it, but Food. Of. The. Gods. Really.
Re 3), there are some crazy 17th century names that I don’t think are ever coming back – Fear Ye The Lord Smith, Respect the Sabbath And Keep It Holy Jameson etc etc.
@fuzzy_ducky I’m pretty sure there are lots of Jesuses in South America (pronounced Hey-soos). Not a big name in the UK, but it still gets used a lot in other countries.
Posted by Clembear on May 27, 2010
I love Question time!
1) Good answers below on the fact they’re a bit like radio waves. If the messages are stored, probably not due to the costs of storing them, and the general profitability of mobile phone networks. Google has all the searches though.
3) A book called Freakonomics argues that name popularity is related to success – names get associated with success and so people name their children that. Once those names become very popular they are too widespread to equal success and so fade from fashion. Its possible, but doesn’t explain why some names are always popular.
These patterns help in cold-reading too – woman named Britney, probably early 20s.
4) I think its complicated really – things that are sexy/attractive are culture and situation specific. Just nowadays we also have a media-industrial complex which exists around appearance, operates through the media and is inherently about consumption. I think thinness is created as a goal because its so hard to be that thin, and its easier to sell people things that get them towards an unobtainable goal than something easy. What it creates is not the same as what people actually want or think.
6) The interweb says dreams are your REM sleep which is 20% of sleep, of which you might have 5 cycles in eight hours. So doing my sums they last maybe 20 mins. And you dream more than Kit does because he’s young.
7) Probably – potentially as a gas.
Posted by Aislinn on May 26, 2010
Re. the whole size zero thing – there’s never going to be a situation where every woman is happy with their figure, but I remember a few years ago, as I was growing up and buying teen magazines, a sudden change of attitude: from ‘skinny is best’ through ‘curvy is best’ ending up at ‘all of them are fine (unless you’re morbidly obese or anorexic). I think we’re gradually reaching a stage where most body shapes are accepted, which I think is the way forward – slagging off any body size or shape doesn’t do girls any help in terms of self-esteem.
(Although, if I’m honest, I rather wish the world would stop going on about it.)
The best person in the world is Tim Key (I’m pretty sure). You and James Nesbitt are also very good at stuff.
And aliens-wise, I’m one of those annoying ones that go ‘Oh, well, we can’t rule out the possiblity of life on other planets if there’s life on our planet!’
I’ve just realised, I’m going to see you pop out of that hole on your website’s intro page over three and a half thousand times by the time TYSIC is up.
Posted by James on May 26, 2010
Two things:
The Logical Song – Supertramp, Scooter’s version ruined that song for me and 2 – Not entirely, but you should pay homage to the fromage.
Posted by Rachael on May 26, 2010
(Ray) ok so here are my answers to questions 2 and 4.
2. if you are demented then so am I, being a lover of yoghurt and a hater of cheese myself. For me its the texture which means some cheese (mainly melted|) is OK and other things, eating raw cheddar for example, is simply disgusting.
4. Size and attractiveness and women is (I think I am right in thinking) linked to wealth. In the past it was harder to have curves with all the starvation, which is why in some poor countries women take fattening pills intended for poultry in order to gain weight. In western society, food is plentiful so being thin is harder or something. When the world is ravaged by global warming and crops are scarce fat women may be sexy again…
Posted by Hannahq on May 26, 2010
Whooops, commented in the wrong place first.
Things I think we should try to fix
- Rachel Winter’s nemesis – don’t know if they are still her nemesis or if she wants this to change, but it might be fun and challenging to effect a reconciliation
-Hannah’s – we could try and ease her into the fantastic world of musicals
- Iona’s – if her teens weren’t rebellious, I’m sure we could help her begin to have a rebellious phase now…
-Not sure about worldwide ones, but cars seems a bit more fixable than the rest?
Sorry for not just choosing one. What can I say? Fixing mistakes is fun.
Posted by Steph on May 26, 2010
Unpopular names? I don’t believe that Ethel, Gurtrude or Phyllis will ever or should come back.
However, I am half Chinese and have cousins in Hong Kong and China. They all have their proper given names in Chinese however they like to pick what they call “English names” for various other uses. Now these names are absolutely horrendous. They must have looked in some strange book they thought was about traditional England. It is because of this that I have cousins/relatives (all under the age of 30) called Joyce, Herman, Edmund and Ada. Bizarre is all I can say. Some of my cousins picked better names like John and Ryan fortunately. But poor Herman. He works in Timberland and has a very cool hairdo! And he’s stuck with Herman!
Best person in the world? Hmm, what criteria dictates who is the best? Perhaps it is just likeability, therefore I will go for Ant McPartlin. HA!
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on May 26, 2010
OH NO, I had more to say. the thin thing.
Fashions like this work on whatever is the uncommon thing. At the moment, modern diet and prosperity mean, in the “developed” world at least, that more people are over than under weight. This means we idolise those people that can lose weight. To be a bit chunky is seen to be what “normal” people do and when slebs are seen to put on a few pounds they are ostracised by Heat, not because they think it’s bad but because it makes their readers feel good by telling them that not even Cheryl Cole can resist a hob-nob or 2.
I think that really is it now.
Posted by Paul on May 26, 2010
Oh and I also meant to say that (at least as of 5 years ago when I worked in that area) the major networks held the messages you’d sent for 48 hours before they flushed the system. No idea if they now have to keep more, or if they pass them off in that time to some shady government types. One New Years Eve the systems got so overloaded at, err, a certain network, that they just flushed almost 2 million pending messages they didn’t have capacity for.
Posted by Paul on May 26, 2010
On the mobile phone thing, as people have said, they’re basically radio waves so you get them blocked by buildings, large objects etc, even different atmospheric conditions can cause the signals to ‘bounce funny’. And of course like all electronics, the phone just sometimes craps out and gives up. People also mentioned moving from one ‘cell’ to another, and the handover isn’t always smooth so you can lost it if you’re on the train even if you’re in an area that should have a good signal.
Apparantly (no idea how true this is), mobile phones on planes never really interfered with equipment all that much, but flying high over the cell towers at several hundred miles an hour meant you ended up being registered on several towers at once (the region it covers is a bit like a cone if you’re above it), and also you’re flipping from one to the next far faster than you ever would on the ground, so the towers couldn’t handle it – the ban on phones was as much from the networks as it was from the airlines. That’s one of those ‘I vaguely recall hearing somwhere…’ stories though
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on May 26, 2010
1. The reason is because mobiles work with radio waves. Radio waves have exceedingly long wavelength, a single wave of radio energy is often a couple of meters long. This is fine and means (because lower frequency means less energy) that they don’t kill us. Problems arise due to the fact that, due to this low energy, they can’t go through stuff very well and get blocked. They get round this by having more masts, at any one time there’s probably at least 3 masts in range for you, meaning it’s quite unlikely for something to be blocking all of them. However, the causes its own problems because when there’s more than one wave they can combine in odd ways which can cause an area of no signal at all. (This only doesn’t happen more often because each wave is actually several waves transmitted and if one is down, the phone just switches to another).
To surmise, buildings and other waves just mean that some spots have stronger signal than others.
In answer to the second half of the question, I think there is a place that stores all the texts, just so it can send them on, but I don’t think they bother to keep them.
2. If you hate cheese then of course you are demented.
3. Yes, everything works in cycles, and every time we predict something is just going to keep going forward forever we are proved wrong. Just look at the economy.
4. See above.
5. You are… Or is that too creepy?
6. I always thought that was true but now I think of it, we’re in REM for a couple of hours every night so we can’t be having thousands of dreams every night, that would fry our brains.
7. Yeah, I think it’s virtually impossible for there not to be. I also love (as in it amuses me, not that I agree with it) the argument that there’s probably only microbes. How terra-centric have you got to be to think that microbes can only evolve on earth? I think there are a multitude of planets equally, if not more, diverse than earth. I see no reason why intelligent life should evolve more than once. However, I think we’re very unlikely to just stumble across some and they’re very unlikely to just stumble across us. And even if we find them, there’s no way we could reach them without technology that’s way out of our league at the moment, like warp and the such.
That’s me done, I think I’ve used up all the letters.
Posted by Rachel Winter on May 26, 2010
how long do we have to suggest who gets their regret redressed?
a couple stood out at the time, but i need to have good look tonight I think.
Posted by Sam on May 26, 2010
1. Phone signals can be blocked by objects/structures. I think this is true – but can’t offer any explanation as to why. Also, if there are lots of people trying to access networks at the same time they can get jammed (eg at music festivals when you’ve got 60,000 people all trying to text at same time). Can’t they all just stand back and enjoy the music/atmosphere?
2. Yogurt and cheese are very different in taste and texture. Just because they are both milk based doesn’t mean you should either like or hate them both. So I wouldn’t worry about it. For instance, I like scrambled eggs but hate omlettes!!
3. I think your normal names come in and out of popularity in cycles. So there’s hope for Sid yet! As for the names that will seem silly, I would think these would be the ones dictated by any current popular culture. As an aside, my pet hate is ‘normal’ names that have been given a weird spelling. You know, like Sharyn, why do that to your child? You know they are going to spend the rest of their lives correcting people on the spelling!
4. Unfortunately, I think thinness is here to stay
. I agree with the person who said that curviness was previously celebrated as a sign of wealth and priviledge. Now, starvation is celebrated as a sign of self-discipline and control. I find it a really sad situation that some people can’t see that being healthy and happy is much more important than being thin. There’s maybe a slight parallell with tanning, when historically whiteness was celebrated as being tanned was a sign of being a manual worker who was lower class. But thanks to Ms Chanel that’s all changed, seemingly forever. As someone who’s very white and a little bit pudgy, I think I was possibly born in the wrong era.
5. Shall I be very corny and say that we should all be continuously striving to be the best person in the world. Alternatively, Tim Minchin gets my vote.
6. No idea about actual length of dreams. I imagine they must be fairly short, given the length of each REM cycle.
7. I reckon there must be aliens out there – from a purely statistical probability point of view. The universe is infinite, we can’t be the only lifeforms that have evolved. Having said that, I don’t think we would ever necessarily meet any or get definitive proof of this. But that’s not a bad thing, a little bit of mystery and a continuous strive for more knowledge is a good thing
Posted by glamlovinkitty on May 26, 2010
1. Mobile phones – not a clue. Bad karma?? Surely not for you though Mark.
2. You might be demented. Cheese is awesome. My particular favourite is Godminster Cheddar, which is quite simply cheddar heaven.
3. Names – I love names, My OH works at the DWP and sees some crackers. Do you know there are twins in Glasgow names Dolce and Gabbana? There’s also a Skeletor and a Febreze. I do hate the chavvy name thing though – and noticed that over the last couple of days, the newsreaders were glossing quickly over the names of those (now found) missing kids – Billy-Blu and Vixen-Rae…seriously… I’m hoping Slagathor will catch on (one for the Scrubs fans). I think some names like Ichabod and Agamemnon should make a return as well.
4. Size zero. Well, I could stand to lose a stone without wasting away. I’m not exactly obese and not exactly a waif. I think being too fat is really unhealthy, but being too skinny equally so. Also, sometimes when a person is too thin they look kinda dirty…(not in a good way). Too much emphasis on body shape these days, but I’m guilty myself.
5. The best person in the world is whoever is there for you when you’re at your best AND your worst. So for me, that’s my OH who has, inexplicably, tolerated me for some 8/9 years now.
6. I don’t know how long dreams take, but some of mine seem to go on for hours. Like the one the other night about my old biology teacher, the magnificent Mr Coxhead (true) who was taking a disco dancing class whilst wearing a spangly skating dress. Horrifying. Probably only went on for seconds, felt like an eternity, especially when he was doing his stretches (shudder).
7. Aliens – I hope so. As they say, the surest sign that there’s intelligent alien life is that none of them have contacted us yet.
Posted by glamlovinkitty on May 26, 2010
Mark D
For a little light reading material, can I suggest ‘The Missionary Position’ by Christopher Hitchens. After reading, you may want to change your answer to 5.
Posted by Mark D on May 26, 2010
1. Mobile phone signal can be blocked (by pretty much any physical object large enough) and it also depends on the number of people using the signal from the tower.
2. Not mad about either, and I grew up on a dairy farm, so go figure.
3.One of the main factors that determines peoples choice for names of their kids, is how other kids in school will react to their name and what sort of nick name could be made from the name. Hence Egbert will never make a return, as who would want their kid to be called Eggy all during school life.
Also suspect that whatever TV programme/literature was popular in the parents earlier life could affect, in my younger cousin’s class there are 3 Óisín(s) and apparently their mothers are from the same type of background.
Some names people give their children are stupid for example Brooklyn because he was conceived there, don’t think that name will ever come into fashion.
4. The thinness in fashion is overrated, many of them are beautiful, but some of them look like heroin addicts they are skinny. But no, I do think the age of skinny model is here for a long time to come yet.
5. Don’t know, maybe Mother Teresa.
6. Think so, dreams don’t last long in real world time, I think I saw that on some discovery channel program about it, they determine based on your REM and brain activity. Would assume it is same for every dream, and I guess a lot of dreams would be complicated, it is just that you don’t remember them.
7. Of course there is aliens, just we haven’t found each other yet.
Posted by Ben Draper on May 26, 2010
1) I don’t know about the signal but according to the film “Erasing David” they do save your texts for a while.
2) Me too! We are not demented, they taste different.
3) I always think it will be funny when you get chavy people who call their kids Channel or Chardanay or something and then imagining an 80 year old saying “Hello, my name is Chardanay”. Or even a 30 year old. For that reason I am going to answer that there are a lot of new names being made up all the time by mental people but there will always be a market for traditional names because it makes your kids seem wholesome and friendly.
4) I think the whole curvy being fashionable thing was to do with showing people you could afford lots of food when that sort of thing was expensive. Nowadays you can buy 5 McDonalds cheeseburgers for less than an hours minimum wage. Unless we get to a stage where food is scarce or expensive again, the cool thing will probably be self control and, therefore, skinniness.
5) Me. I am.
6) Dreams take as long as they seem to last, normally 10 minutes or so I guess. You only remember dreams that you wake up in the middle of (which is why they never have any sort of closure) and you forget the load of dreams you had before that last one and it gives the impression of time going quickly. Like if you lose your memory when you get really drunk.
7) Yea, man. Why not?
Posted by Ally on May 26, 2010
I think that the best person in the world today is the man that I saw getting off the bus in the pouring rain, who shared his umbrella with a stranger who also just got off the bus.
That made me happy.
Apparently dreams do only take a few seconds – I’m more interested in the idea of dreams that you can control. I only know bits and pieces on about this and most of it is of the “I heard this from a friend, who heard it from another friend… etc” level of accuracy. I like the idea of being able to control dreams, would be fun right?
Posted by amycool on May 26, 2010
1. I think this has been answered quite rigorously (plus I have no idea).
2. This made me laugh because I’ve been yoghurt binge eating of late. I’m not even supposed to eat yoghurt because it makes me cough more but there are so many delicious varieties. I even love banana yoghurt, despite hating bananas. I have tried cheese at least 10 times since my big cheese challenge and every variety has been awful.
3. I’ve always wanted to have a child called Huxley, but I’m not sure that has ever been a first name, other than in Huxley Pig. From researching my family tree, I quite like Herbert, Ada and Walter but I’m amazed at the complete lack of imagination (about a million Johns). In contrast, I have also researched my pen-pal, who lives in North Carolina, and his family have the craziest names ever. Here are a few; Clade, Elbert, Mourning, Della Mae, Romie Vestal, Odell, Brady, Augman, Woodrow Wilson, Pearly, Chapel, George Washington, Linerva, Almira, Shubal, Vachel, Omego, Benjamin Franklin, Strangeman, Obedience, Quintilly…I could go on but I better not. But back to the question, I think it’s a cyclical thing. Names get popular, then become boring, new names become popular because they’re different, become boring etc. At some point the old names are so rare that they seem different and become popular again.
4. I wish that all the people you see on TV having horrible surgeries and starving themselves could understand that humans are not clones or robots. There’s no linear correlation between thinness/size of breasts/symmetry of face and attractiveness. Just ticking those boxes will not automatically make you attractive and may actually make you look weird. Massive breasts on tiny bodies look odd, as does a smooth face on a 50 year old’s head. I know as a teenager I had this preposterous black and white opinion that because I was built like a boy and had a big nose I would never ever meet anyone who would fancy me. I felt this despite the fact that I’ve never fancied the stereotypical idea of an attractive man. When I was 15 and everyone liked Brad Pitt and Leonardo di Caprio, I had a crush on John Higgins, the snooker player (who I still don’t believe would ever fix a match). Of course a few years later I met my boyfriend, who, for whatever reason, thinks I’m the most attractive person in the world (on a good day at least
). No need for surgery, no need to worry about eating too much cake. As long as we have a media desperate for stuff to put in their magazines and newspapers, there will always be a body type that’s seen as bad. I just hope that the public will get some common sense and ignore it.
5. Who is the best person in the world? My boyfriend, from my point of view.
6. I can certainly believe that dreams are short because there are times when I doze off for half an hour and have 4 or 5 dreams. I once dreamt that I was sat in a philosophy lesson for the whole hour. That was probably the most boring dream I’ve ever had, but still preferable to my usual graphic scenes of mutilation that I have to put up with every night. The other night I was trapped in a car and put through a mangle, and my legs got crushed before I died. I have a lot of post-apocolyptic dystopia dreams, often with scary automatons or zombies. Perhaps this explains my dislike of horror films.
7. There are almost definitely aliens somewhere, but I very much doubt that we (the human race) will ever come into contact with them. The universe is very very big.
Posted by Laura on May 26, 2010
Fuzzy Duck Laura – you are totally right; I work at what is supposed to be a boarding and training kennels, but we have been taking in more and more unwanted animals on a seemingly weekly basis. Very sad.
1) According to The Wire, and who can doubt anything from that, phone messages are indeed stored.
2) Perhaps it is the smell of cheese that lingers in the fridge (mmm…blue cheese), a side effect not present in yogurt.
3) My nan’s name was Ethel Ada. Really can’t see that one coming back into fashion any time soon. I am a big fan of the old fashioned names, on the whole. I think that perhaps the only modern names that might seem a bit peculiar in the future are those taken from random tv shows and popular celebrities of today.
4) Size zero seems to be at the extreme end of the general obsession many women have that they are ‘not good enough’. I think there are very few ‘normal people’ who genuinely aspire to be size zero, and there does seem to be less of it around than it recent years; many women seem to be aspiring to a more toned look rather than just plain skinny. However, I think there are plenty of women who are on the skinny side who would prefer to carry a bit more weight. Unfortunately, it is something that many of us just carry around in our heads; if curvy were to be fashionable again, the same women would be upset that they weren’t curvy enough, or not curvy in the right places.
5)The best person in the world is the person who makes you want to get up in the morning and makes you want to be the very best version of yourself you have ever been, but also is happy to accept you as you are, faults and all. Failing that, Neil Patrick Harris.
6) No idea about dreams beyond knowing that I have very weird ones, very often.
7) I suspect that there is alien life, but I hope that I am not around to see us find it as we will undoubtedly fuck it up.
Posted by Simon on May 26, 2010
1. Not sure about the signal thing. I imagine messages are stored in the same way emails are stored, at least for a short while. Not forever though. I’m sure I’ve heard about “deleted” messages being used as evidence in court. And it certainly wouldn’t hurt phone companies to do so because storing text data is really cheap.
2. Yoghurt and cheese are two wonderful but distinct dairy products. I’d sooner give up yoghurt if forced to decide at gunpoint.
4. Size zero is horrid.
7. Given the scale of the universe, it seems pretty likely aliens exist. An interesting (sort of related?) theory suggests we may be living inside a computer simulation, overseen by some highly advanced future civilisation. Definitely worth a read:
http://www.simulation-argument.com/computer.pdf
Posted by LisaD on May 26, 2010
I just read Cathy’s post and now I’m thinking her daughter may be right about Sandra Bullock
Posted by LisaD on May 26, 2010
Oy…
1. There are lots of things that affect cell phone reception, but in a major city you’re probably not going to be affected by being all that far away from a tower, so a fluctuation can be caused by weather changes or the antenna in your phone not being that great. (My Blackberry used to lose bars all the time; my new phone gets reception in the oldest subway station in America.)
2. Dementia seems like the sort of thing you have to work out for yourself, but I am not wild about yogurt (sorry, it turns out I’m just too American to spell it with an “h”) and crazy love cheese. I find most of my more irrational food hatreds relate to texture.
3. I hear Maud is making a comeback, though the 12th century was really the peak for that name it seems (How the hell do you folks manage in History class when all the Kings Queens dukes and princesses have the same name!?!) I don’t think being a serial killer hurts a name though. Ted (Bundy), David (Berkowitz) and there’s like half a dozen killer Jacks before you even get to the Ripper. It’s fun picturing old age homes forty years from now that will be chock full of Tiffanys and Heathers being visited by their grandchildren Esther and Matilda. I’ve been reading a lot of Jasper Fforde lately and find myself really loving the idea of Thursday as a girl’s name…so it’s probably just as well that I’m not having kids.
4. No offense to any skinny-minies reading this, but I can’t bear dating thin girls. I like a girl who has dessert after dinner, popcorn at the movies and at least considers getting a muffin with her coffee. Most if the straight guys I know feel the same way. If I’ve learned nothing else from Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model (my roommate watches it and don’t you judge me!) it’s that models are not picked because they’re hot; they are moving pose-able clothes hangers. It would be nice if more people were explaining that to teenage girls BEFORE they develop their first eating disorders.
5. Stephen Fry’s on my list. Also my brother and my friend Emily. Frankly it really depends what defines “best.”
6. I’ve heard the thing about dreams being incredibly short as well…so if it isn’t true at least we’ll be wrong together. These days I tend to reserve judgement on the stuff I know cause I “heard it somewhere” until it comes up on an episode of QI.
7. I certainly hope there are aliens. I think the whole tall thin green creatures with massive black eyes is ridiculous and I blame Spielberg and Lucas for that particular delusion, but an area as massive as the Universe and there’s only ONE inhabited planet? That’s harder to believe in than most conspiracy theories.
Posted by h2osarah on May 26, 2010
1. Can’t help you there.
2. No idea. But I hate yoghurt and love cheese. Maybe we’re opposites.
3. Names go in and out of fashion. When my Mom was born, Sarah was an old-fashioned name, but 29 years later when I came round, Sarah’s the most popular name of my age group. I doubt Adolph will ever regain popularity though.
4. If I knew why thinness were praised, or could like my body no matter what size it is, I’d be a much happier person. I can’t help you there. I fluctuate between ‘I’m so happy with my body, but I wish my boobs were bigger’ and ‘I love my boobs, but I wish I was thinner’. I can never win.
5. I want to say me. But that’s only cos I’m a little bit drunk. I will contemplate this question.
6. No idea. I might have to review the literature.
7. Considering the vast expanse of the universe, there’s probably life out there… but it all depends on how you define ‘aliens’… This topic always breaks my brain. So instead, I’m gonna go to sleep.
Posted by Kathryn on May 26, 2010
I like cheese but am ambivalent about yoghurt- I can’t see the point of it as a nutritional entity.
I’ve heard recently of people giving kids traditional names- teachers in our school went for Anne, Liam and, strangely, Noah. Or maybe Jonah. Something old testament-y, anyway. And I was named after both my grandmothers, which was incredibly inventive and imaginative of my parents. I’d quite like a Victorian names revival, it would be more interesting than endless numbers of people with the same name. Maybe this is a pet peeve- there were millions of Kathryns in my school. I reckon being named after a place or a celebrity will seem ridiculously old-fashioned in the future, as it seems slightly silly now.
The best person in the world? A matter of opinion. In mine, my brother, my best friend or possibly Tim Minchin (as mentioned). Definitely not the person who decided we would have to study Elizabethan vocal music for A level this year. I hate them.
There are articles out all the time about how “size zero” is over, yet no-one seems to tell the people who make clothes.
I don’t like thinking about aliens. Any thought of how vast and infinite the universe is makes my head hurt and I have to go listen to music or eat cake to take my mind off it.
It took me ages to write this, I had to keep going back and looking at the questions and trying to come up with an answer.
Posted by Steph on May 25, 2010
My phone signal disappears randomly for a minute or so, I’ve always assumed it’s resetting something since it seems to happen at about half past the hour a lot. For the signal it’s a combination of how close to the tower you are and if there are hills and stuff in the way blocking it. I think how many people are using it probably affects it a bit too. And as far as I know there isn’t a record of all texts.
Yoghurt and cheese taste nothing alike so that doesn’t make you demented. Hating cheese however… :p
I think there are always some names that come back and some that just die out. I’m trying to think of a name that’s completely died out now but I’m failing.
I am looking forward to all the modern names being old people names though, it’ll make me happy.
I know that dream-time and real-time are completely different to each other, but I don’t actually know how long an average dream lasts. I’m intrigued now though.
I think there are aliens somewhere. There are so many different galaxies, with so many solar systems, with so many planets that I think ours being the only one where life of some kind has developed just can’t be right. Whether we ever make contact (or even if we should) is another matter though.
Posted by Bloomability (Beth) on May 25, 2010
2. Yoghurt and cheese are two very different things ^_^
3. I think we will either make up different, futuristic names or just name our kids after characters in the latest hit book/film/ TV show.
4. Since new inventions are being made so we can be more lazy (and get much fatter), I suppose there will have to be. Obviously there is plastic surgery, but sooner or later people won’t care anymore about their bodies or won‘t have money to spend on luxuries… *feels doomed, pessimistic and scared of the future*
5. There are so many people in the world, no one man/woman can possibly meet every single person and know them well enough to see if they are fit for the title. But Stephen Fry is probably who I would choose out of all of the people I know of… but now I am thinking about it, I can think of a lot more people who are worthy too. *moves on quickly before she starts listing*
7. It would be seriously against odds if there weren’t any! I hope there are. And that they are nice. And bring us presents like space cookies when they come to visit ^_^
Posted by Catherine on May 25, 2010
@Beth
I think Frank Turner is pretty great, too. I am partial to Mark and Tim Minchin as well.
Cathy
Posted by Catherine on May 25, 2010
I like yogurt and cheese.
Yes, their are other life forms out “there”
I like traditional names. They stand the test of time.
My daughter just informed me that Sandra Bullock is the best person in the world because she makes good movies and she doesn’t put up with any bullshit.
Cathy
Posted by Max on May 25, 2010
Sorry for the spelling in my previous post. This damn phone decided it knew better than me and randomly changed stuff.
Posted by Max on May 25, 2010
@ Laura: Jesus is not an entirely atipical name in the Spanish language. At least in south america, although it has a tiny connotation of being a “lower class” name. Whatever that means. If you are a football fan (and who isn’t now that we are 2 weeks away from the wc?) you may recognize olympiakos player Jesus Datolo. Who almostade it to the Argentinian wc rooster.
As to marks questions:
cell phones owe their names to the way the network is arranged, it’s sort of divided in “cells” and antennas take care of certain cells. There’s a fair bit of overlapping to ensure continuity but you may easily loose signal while you go from one antenna to the other. This is the may reason you always tend to loose signal in train rides, there’s usually a sort of noams land between some antennas. I’m not an expert though, so this may not be correct
cheese is brilliant. You should be considered clinically insane of you don’t enjoy it.ayne not that much… But you are missing on something incredibly good.
Women are beatiful in their individuality IMO. I’ve been attracted to all kind of shapes and varieties of them, but the one thing they always had is they had something that made them themselves, unique. The fashion trends and celebrity role modelsake them loose that, which is the reason the ones copying them look bland and unoriginal. Because they are. Be unique and that’s that.
I’m positive there is life somewhere. Maybe not contemporary to us, but I’m sure there was, is or will be life around.
As for us seeing them, that’s highly unlikely. I think it was carl Sagan who said that if any civilization had the technology to actually come to earth, then they would be so advanced that they HAD to be peaceful. Cause a non peaceful, technological civilization will ultimately destroy itself (look at us). Therefore, if they are peaceful and technologically capable, then they know better than making themselves known to us
god I feel chatty today. Sorry everyone for my nonsense. I have a thesis defense Friday and I’m nervous. Primarily cause the thesis is not done yet. Ouch.
Posted by Becca on May 25, 2010
Hey, I’m new to your blog this week but I like it and am just about feeling brave enough to comment! (I’ve answered the questions out of order tho, apologies)
7. I reckon in a universe as huge as it is, there must be more life out there somewhere. It might even be very intelligent, but the chances of us ever meeting each other are dissapointingly slim. If we ever do let’s hope we discover them first!
3. I have a friend called Sid who is in his 20′s, so apparently it’s still a current name…
5. The best person? That’s a difficult question- I have favourite people and best friends, but they’re usually separate. If the two titles ever collide then I guess that would be the best person in my world, at least!
Posted by Anji on May 25, 2010
Ok today seems to have been a hellish days for lots and not just me. Pants Tuesday. I found wine has numbed it slightly.
Before I ramble, is it an iPhone with random signal issues? O2 told me to turn my 3g off as this somehow blocks phone signals. I did question how useful it was to have a 3g phone if this was the case. I figure my calls really aren’t that imporant to warrent me 3g-less but I keep it in mind if I ever really need phone signal!
Posted by rachel (pandora) on May 25, 2010
your answers are -
1. phone signals vary cos really fat pigeons keep sitting on the aerials. apparently if you hold your phone to your forehead it boosts your signal. don’t know if this is true, or a lie to make you look silly/give you a tumour.
2. yoghurt can have chocolate accessories, cheese cannot. this makes it superior.
3. i really really hope there’s a comeback of old lady names. the more
mabels the better. i love the idea that in 100 years time paris and britney will count as old lady names.
4. size zero is pointless, full stop. why starve yourself and have no boobs or bum, and look like a teenage boy? silly people. one day i hope people will realise that deathy is not fashionable or attractive.
5. best person in my own world is my sister, helen of french running fame. in the whole world, i don’t know. lets have a vote.
6. google tells me that dreams last a few hours. last dream i had involved ross noble petitioning parliament over the plot holes in spiderman 2. shame that couldn’t go on longer.
7. odds are there’s something else alive in the universe apart from us. even if its single cell things. generally i hope that our future turns out to be a bit like star trek.
Posted by Rosanna on May 25, 2010
Iona! I am definately with you! Got my AS history exam tomorrow too. Read the whole of the fascist Italy textbook today – don’t think much went in. And I know nothing about Germany. I’m so glad I’m dropping for A2.
Posted by Rachael on May 25, 2010
Yogurt is way better than cheese,and it has to be the easiest food to eat.
The best person in the world? His name is Josh Pyke.
On a slightly related note, someone once told me that after the whole Nazi thing all of the Hitler family, like second cousins and everything, got together and made a pact not to have children because they didn’t want to carry on the Hitler name. No idea if it’s true but i hope so because I have told quite a few people that!
Posted by DeborahF on May 25, 2010
1. I maybe wrong but I think mobile phone signals are radio waves and therefore subject to interference the same as a radio would be. So it could be impeded by thick walls, lead linings etc – the radio waves just can’t penetrate them. Some places install mobile phone signal blockers where phones would be disturbance like theatre, art galleries etc so that could be another reason.
It is true that reception is dependent on how many people using it – it doesn’t have limitless bandwidth. That’s why it’s impossible to get reception at midnight on New Years Eve.
Did you also know that it times of disaster they switch off parts of the mobile network to ensure emergency radio and phone communications get through. My Dad once told me there are special mobile phones that still work though that could be an urban myth. However, he did use to work for BT so perhaps it might be true
Posted by Megan on May 25, 2010
1. No idea. Great answer, no? But I do know that I’ve had a signal on a ferry in the Pentland Firth and on a whale-watching ship off the coast of Iceland, which I found fascinating, since I lose signal on the train from Toronto to Ottawa on a regular basis. (This goes through the most densely populated bits of Canada, before ye scoff.)
2. What don’t you like about cheese? The umami cheesiness? The only other non-vegan cheese-hater I know of is also a Brit. Maybe it’s a genetic anomaly rather than a demented thing.
Yogurt’s better for you anyway, but cheese allegedly has some protein that is the same as in breast milk, which is why cheese is a comfort food for so many people.
3. I think Egbert is doomed as a name. Actually, most of the Saxon (?) -bert names are probably doomed, except maybe Albert.
There are a lot of old fashioned names that I’d love to come back; in my family alone, there was a Viola, two Annies, a Wilhemina (really, I love that name), and a Hazel. But there was also at least one Olga, an Effie, a Gertrude (who was lovely, really, but the name shares too much sound with ‘Curdle’). Unfortunately, I can’t even explain why I think some are hideous and others are worth reviving.
I keep hoping the rise of the Christian Right means that there will be hundreds of wee kids named Methuselah in, like, Arkansas in the near future.
Until I heard David Cameron had a daughter called Nancy, I had never heard of one born after 1948.
4. I fucking hope that people move on. Christina Hendricks, who has a differently impossible-to-attain figure was all the rage in the first couple of seasons of Mad Men, but it seems we’re back to skinniness as being in again. I really hope it doesn’t last. Despite being moderately athletic, I will never be tiny (‘officially’, I’m 15 lbs overweight, though, luckily, my awesome GP says I’m fine). It took almost 30 years to (mostly) accept/work with this.
5. Now? Dunno. Back in the day, probably my mum.
6.Sadly, I think they are short. I can have very complicated dreams between snooze button hits.
7. Almost definitely.
Posted by Iona on May 25, 2010
This cheered me up and distracted me from my impending doom (ie my history AS exam tomorrow)
I like yoghurt but hate cheese as well. Because they taste different. You’re not demented.
There might be comeback for some old names but some were truly horrible… Mildred sounds like a kind of mould (really sorry if anyone reading this is called Mildred). Oh and Laura in Spain they call kids Jesus, pronounced differently but still! Go for it.
I think being curvy will come back, but whatever the “attractive” shape is there’ll still be lots of people who aren’t that shape so still lots of self-esteem issues.
And I think there must be aliens, even if they’re just single-celled bacteria. The universe is too vast for there not to be. Though they may not be very interesting.
Now, back to revising Russian history. Did you know that the Russian grain harvest in 1933 was 9 million tonnes less than it was in 1926? Why would you ever need to know this?! I hate exams
Posted by Beth on May 25, 2010
I too love yogurt but hate cheese, maybe it’s because the taste of cheese is horrible and yoghurt tastes of, well, yoghurt. It’s not weird. (my preference has to be banana or stawberry…)
I’d also be willing to put money on the fact that there are aliens (or something like that) out there somewhere. It’s ridiculous to think that we are the only living creatures in the entire universe… Isn’t it?
And, surely the best person in the world is subjective? I, for example, think Frank Turner, You, Tim Minchin and Bill Nighy (and my dad) are pretty much the best people there are, but some may disagree with me!
Posted by Emmy on May 25, 2010
Oh and, yes, Laura, you deserve the first post much more than I do. Sorry for being a poophead.
Posted by Rosanna on May 25, 2010
ahhh just missed out on first comment
2) I love cheese and don’t like yoghurt. Maybe it’s texture?
3) Don’t know but on a (slightly) related note my friend’s german exchange partner’s dad was called Adolf
4) Again, no idea – I hate the whole idea of fashion in general and the size zero thing seems pretty stupid. Hope it’ll pass.
5) Tricky one – on a trivial celeb type level I’m going with Chris Addison. On wider, more important level I have no idea: Churchill? Einstein? actually Stephen Hawking is pretty awesome.
7) Must be something somewhere, some bacteria or something. Don’t know tho. Hawking seems to think there is.
Posted by Emmy on May 25, 2010
First of all Mark, thank you so much for doing this blog. I’ve just had the day from hell and it makes my life a whole lot better. To the extent that I’m on my cycle home and stopped at an internet cafe solely hoping that it was already posted. Because I badly needed a cheer up.
Yes, there are probably aliens. The universe is so immensely vast that somewhere out there aliens are doing, erm, alienly things. Whether they are a highly intelligent aliens or masses of goo, who knows? I kind of hope there are masses of goo though because that would be fun.
As for the yogurt vs. cheese conundrum, I like both, but yogurt it better. So, no, you’re not demented, you just appreciate the finer things in life.
The best person in the world is someone that loves you and who you are with at that very moment.
Right, since I somehow managed to annoyingly post the first useless comment (feel free to stone me, like in The Life of Brian), what is your opinion on happiness. Achievable? That sounds so contrite but I really do wonder about this way too much.
Right, better head off home now.
Posted by Misha on May 25, 2010
Questions eh?
1. I believe it’s to do with the phone mast, presumably like anything they are subject to occasionally failings, like when you get power surges etc. I don’t really know.
2. Yoghurt doesn’t taste like cheese and therefore probably not?
3. You have to assume so, which is why we still have Henry’s and Williams but not Ethlereds. I don’t know who determines it. I hope that one day all the Chardonay’s and Sheneeces are considered old lady names, it will make me smile.
4. I don’t know about this either, but I hope so. Since a. i’m a bit curvey and b. if I wasn’t I’d look odd because I have flared ribs. and also c. It’s healthier and fashion is silly.
5. Surely a subjective matter? Stephen Fry is fairly awesome, you Mark are lovely, and my Dad bought home about a kilo of chocolate for me today.
6. God knows, dreams are weird. I dreamed about Josie Long.
7. I think it would be self absorbed to assume we’re alone in the universe.
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on May 25, 2010
I want to call my child Jesus…. is that too much? In Muslim countries, parents still call their children Muhammed, or Ala… why can’t we name kids Jesus?
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on May 25, 2010
well, seeing as Emmy didn’t ask for something to be said, can I ask you to speak just a little on the Welfare of Animals, and how, in the current economic climate, pets are being sent to the pound, or to shelters because family’s can’t afford to keep them any longer.
I myself have raised 380 euro so far this year, doing charity events in my school… in a sky diving website in Ireland I found that if you raise 640 euro, you get to sky dive for free, and all money goes to a charity.
Limerick Animal Welfare, in Ireland, are running seriously low on funds, as are all animal shelters in the UK and Ireland.
cheers Mark
Posted by Emmy on May 25, 2010
This is annoying of me., but… first comment?
Should probably read the post now.