How I Stop Myself Thinking About Death
(Everything Is Alright)
Mark Watson is away. Today’s emergency blogger is Madeleine (The Australian one).
Television. Music. Goodnight everyone!
Somehow I don’t think that counts, so – Death. Believe me, I know how obnoxious it is for a teenager to try and give insight on coping with mortality to people who are (mostly) at least slightly older than her. But I decided to wade into this topic because it made me think the most (and I don’t know anything about BIRDS).
Maybe it’s an atheist thing, but I think about death quite a bit, and it terrifies me. However long I have left seems like no time at all. Also, people are fond of saying “YOU COULD DIE TOMORROW!” Really?! Why aren’t we all just lying under our beds and waiting for the end then? A statement like that makes everything else seem rather pointless.
I think that we think any worry about death most when there’s nothing else to think about; when we’re trying to sleep or in the shower, or waiting for the bus and our friend still has our ipod because she borrowed it four days ago and then went back to Melbourne and now we have to catch the bus all the way to the other side of town to get it off her mum. The bitch.
So maybe the trick to not thinking about death is to think about… other things. Do other things, fun things, boring things, scary things: anything that stops you from thinking about how the seconds are ticking away towards your eventual demise (at the hands of a small French man and a large toffee hammer. What? That’s how I thought I’d go) I personally use television to fix everything.
That boy you’ve liked for five years is dating your friend: “I’m going to watch Doctor Who”. You don’t have enough money to by winter clothes: “I’ve just bought this series of The Young Ones”
You’ve put on 10 kilos: “I’m going to watch this Mighty Boosh box set… and eat this pot of jam”
You’re going to die: “Yes, but, John Simm!”
Television has been my constant since I was a kid (I would also like a TV license like Megan, as I looked at my bank account recently and I had spent about $1000 this year on BBC box sets) and that’s probably why I want to produce television – I want to help other people like me avoid those problems (and I have an unhealthy love for omni-sexual sci-fi captains).
In the process to “think about other things”, I am always aware of trying to fill up the space in my life, to Keep Busy. I don’t know why I think that if I have a lot going on, death is less likely to come for you, but the thought process is something like this: “Gosh, I just have too much to do, I have a debate meeting, three assignments to do, I’m heading to that open mic comedy tomorrow, making a cake for Kate’s birthday, watching Torchwood and going for a run, I just could not possibly sink into the abyss today.”
I think that’s when I’ll know that I’m “truly happy”: when my life seems full without me having to shove things into the gaps.
I think about other people’s deaths almost more than my own, and I’m very worried about them. Not just my family, but for lack of a better work “celebrities”. It’s not that I would care more if Thom Yorke died than my mother, but at least I can keep an eye on her: I know that she looks both ways before crossing the street, I’ve really got no idea what kind of life threatening stuff he’s up to. The same goes for Alex Turner, Helen Mirren, David Tennant, Noel Fielding, the rest of Radiohead, Ezra Koenig and Alan Alda. I don’t know how I would cope if I had to live in a world without Hawkeye. (If anyone knows any of these people by the way, if you could just make sure that they’re getting enough vitamin C and not mixing heroin and horse tranquilizers and rock climbing, that would save me a lot of stress).
So how do I stop myself from thinking about death? Distraction, denial, activity. Though looking back on this blog, I don’t think I’m doing a great job of it.
Music is for distraction… (that was my attempt to relate this next bit to the theme in an effort to seem less self indulgent). From what I’ve seen most people in this blog are pretty into music, so here are some Australian bands that you may not have heard of but will probably love:
THE MIDDLE EAST: This guys are about to explode and you may know them, they were in NME a couple of weeks ago (I was reading it on the bus and squealed to the man next to me “THEY ARE FROM TOWNSVILLE!!!” He was less overjoyed) and played Coachella. They get compared to Mumford and Sons but they’re quite different, more harmonic but with that same euphoric feeling (although their themes are quite heavy, their biggest songs are about suicide, cancer and a soldier returning from Vietnam). Download: Blood
CLOUD CONTROL: I saw these guys a couple of days ago supporting Vampire Weekend and they were awesome. They kind of sound like… Vampire Weekend. Less poppy though, more tribal chanting and hand claps mixed with electric guitar. Also a very attractive lead singer, who stoically ignored the young girls screaming “YOU’RE SEEEEEEEEEXY!” in all the quiet songs. Download: “Gold Canary”, “There’s Nothing In The Water We Can’t Fight”.
THE PANICS: The Panics spent practically all of 2008 touring the UK, so maybe you’ve heard of them as well. These alt country boys recently did shows with a full orchestra, and their sound is really dusty and expansive, with one of the most unique vocals around (The lead guitarist sat next to me on a bus once. I spoke to him for about ten minutes, I have no idea what I talked about but it was amazing.) Download: “Don’t fight it” “Cruel Guards” “Someone Somewhere Somehow”.
EDDY CURRENT SUPPRESSION RING: Their second album “Rush to Relax” was recorded in about two hours. Its frantic, raw, garage rock that also has some really cool, brooding, just restrained parts. Sounds like not much else. Download “Colour Television” “Anxiety” “Rush to Relax”.
WHITLEY: His first album “Submarine” was warm and soft, acoustic and melodic. Laurence Greenwood (no relation)’s voice is gorgeous, and although his latest “Go Forth, Find Mammoth” is a lot colder and has an underlying cynicism and sinister tone, it retains some real emotion. Laurence says that he’s going to give up music for a while and learn interpret sign language for deaf people (but he could be joking, he’s a little nuts). Download: “Killer” “The Piece You Took From Me” “Lost in Time”.
So there it is, if you made it to the end thanks a lot. Thanks Mark for letting me take the reins of this grand undertaking for a day, it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. Also thanks Kate Mellifont, for helping me with grammar and not freaking out.
- Madeleine Laing
P.s – If you do the Twitter thing, I’m @madeleine_kl. I’m not going to beg.
Posted by Knox on May 23, 2011
Madeleine – thanks so much for an awesome emergency blog.
“I think that’s when I’ll know that I’m “truly happy”: when my life seems full without me having to shove things into the gaps.” – I keep thinking this..!
The thing about worrying about other people’s deaths is just so true – I spent the first two or so years of her life convinced that something fatal was going to happen to my niece, and I used to depress myself at uni worrying about my foster parents dying while I wasn’t there. But as some others already said, I think it’s something that fades as you get older, or at least loses a lot of the terror that used to be attached to it.
Thanks for the music recommendations also – always good to get some listening tips.
Posted by Heather on May 23, 2010
Thanks for the music recs! I’m always looking to check out new bands, and you make them all sound quite appealing. (also just added you on twitter!)
Posted by Katelils on May 18, 2010
Still catching up on here so sorry for late comment, but brilliant blog!!!
Followed!
)
Posted by mark mulligan on May 17, 2010
Brilliant blog Maddie! (and I’m not just saying that as your uncle and a fellow writer). Welcome to the wonderful, tortured, crazy, depressing, uplifting, frustrating yet rewarding (not financially) world of published scribblings. MM
Posted by Maddie on May 17, 2010
Sorry for lateness. Am on a catch-up after lots of uni work / actual work.
Well Done Madeleine on a great blog!
Posted by Grandad on May 16, 2010
Excellent work Madeleine
I believe that young people think about death because they love life, they have many doors to open before reaching the final door that closes all doors. Think not about death instead think about life, be prepared to recognise life’s dangers, follow Mother’s example when crossing the road, which in turn, may help to avoid an untimely demise.
At my age I stand much closer to that final door than you, but I don’t worry about dying. However I do worry about a lingering death that would make me a burden and cause others to worry.
You should put aside all thoughts of death and keep on opening doors, taking care to open the right ones for you. You cannot do much about the hand that is dealt in life but you can ultimately, decide how you play the cards.
Continue to enjoy your musical gurus but allow me to pass on those you now embrace (its a generational thing you see). As another remarkable young lady said on the Opera House steps last Saturday “follow your dream and work hard” because I know you can be anything you chose to be, and I say, to hell with death, I want to be around to see you be just that!
Love to you.
Posted by Aislinn on May 16, 2010
Oh, I did a little sigh when I read the words ‘Ezra Koenig’. I maybe love him a little bit too much. Am I allowed to do a sideways heart? Yes? I think I have to. <3
Posted by (Magnificent) Josh on May 16, 2010
Another fantastic emergency blog there. We’re such an amazing lot here aren’t we.
Posted by Beth on May 16, 2010
Oh, and also, I’m following you now! (that sounded creepy, but it wasn’t my intention)
Posted by Hannahq on May 16, 2010
I totally agree, televsion DOES fix everything. Who can think about their own death when the Doctor has to save the world! Seems a little petty.
Posted by Beth on May 16, 2010
I really enjoyed this blog! Mainly because, it’s something I think a lot about too. I agree that it might be an atheist thing; my religious friends/family have that belief that when they die they’re definitely going Heaven (or somewhere similar) and are going to (sort of) carry on living in a sense… Atheists haven’t got that. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I eventually pop my clogs and it’s pretty scary.
It’s nice to have music/television/school/friends/comedy to distract ourselves from impending doom and I agree with the bands on your list (the ones I’ve heard of) being brilliant for distraction as they’re all really good! And although I’m not a Dr Who fan, I do buy an awful lot of boxsets/stand up dvds just to pass the time.
Overall, great blog, giving Mark a run for his money, I think!
P.S. I’d also be devastated if Thom Yorke died…
Posted by Ally on May 16, 2010
I was quite pleased to find out that this emergency blogger was a fellow Aussie
I’m so with you on the TV thing. Doctor Who, Torchwood and John Simm solve everything.
I too spend exorbitant amounts of money on box sets (and stand-up comedy DVDs). And then spend all the time I should be using to do my Uni work, watching them.
Great blog!
Posted by Alex on May 16, 2010
A friend of mine once said “I don’t want to die, not today, I’ve too much to do!”
If nothing else this blog reminded me of that and made me smile.
Actually, it didn’t do nothing else, it was very good and made me smile in it’s own right.
Hurrah!
Posted by amycool on May 16, 2010
An excellent blog, and I also said, gosh, this girl has good TV taste!
Bizarrely, for me it was getting gravely ill that made me stop worrying and start enjoying my life. Not that I really worried about dying very much before, but I’d worry about tiny things and felt like the world would end if I didn’t get a first degree. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I live every day as if it were my last (I imagine I’d have a right sulk on if that were the case) but I tend not to worry about the small things anymore.
I’ll have to check out some of those bands now. My life has greatly improved since spotify.
Posted by Kate Mellifont on May 16, 2010
WOW! I fail at trying to get the first comment!
Hilarious, wild thing!
You is deepz.
Way to rule the interwebs!
See you tonight, beautiful!
(Also I enjoy that I got a credit, seeing as all I did was read, giggle then mock your tv-religon. Win!)
Posted by Hannah on May 16, 2010
Awesome blog Madeleine! I like your style.
I suppose I don’t think about death too often; being young it’s not one of my main concerns. Although have had some thoughts when near death experiences occur, or someone close dies. Worrying, yet inevitable.
I also recommend The Middle East (especially) and Whitley – both excellent.
And, consider yourself followed.
Posted by rachel (pandora) on May 16, 2010
very interesting blog.
thinking about it, i don’t really worry about death itself anymore.
i’m a student physiotherapist, and will never forget the first death of a patient. during my three years training i’ve lost numerous patients, young and old. i was also at my granddad’s bedside when he died.
i now see it as an inevitability, at some point. and worrying about it won’t change the fact it’ll happen eventually. if its a definite event, you don’t really need to think about it, do you…?
Posted by Simone on May 15, 2010
Dude! Awesome blog. Consider yourself followed.
Posted by Linsey on May 15, 2010
Madeleine, you are amazing. John Simm, Doctor Who and The Young Ones solves all, and I’ve written down the bands for closer inspection tomorrow! Good taste, girl xx
Posted by Rachael on May 15, 2010
I worry alot about other people’s deaths but not my own. Good work, especially for the Whitley love!
Posted by Tom Beasley on May 15, 2010
Excellent post.
I am also in the category of “people who piss away good moods because they think about death too much”. (Not exactly a catchy name for a category, but we don’t have a club or anything so it’s fine)
It’s usually when I’m in bed and have nothing else to think about. More then once, I have distressed myself so much thinking about death that I have had to flick my light on and read for an hour just to clear my head.
Posted by Helen on May 15, 2010
Thanks Madeleine, great post. I think about death lots. It’s terrifying. It is just the most horrible thing. I also use the TV as a distraction but even that doesn’t work. I’m sitting there, watching Coach Trip and what do I see? An advert for the C-Op funeral service. Even the Co-Op (supermarket) do funerals! The Co-OP. What do they do, bury you in a bag for life? I mean really.
I hate the idea that it all ends on that one day and that’s it. All I can do to calm myself down is to just think that even yesterday only exists in memory – doesn’t make it any less real. Memories are a huge part of our lives and if that’s what is left after someone goes, well that has to be comforting.
(To be honest – I still find it scary) And now to end, a relevant exerpt of The Mighty Boosh:
Howard: ‘Death – the final frontier….’
camera spans to vince:
‘Yeah, he’s going to be doing that a lot, so if you press the red button on your remote you can see me as dressed as a hedgehog, just groovin’ around’
Posted by Ben on May 15, 2010
great blog, and i shall be off to check the bands out in a minute.
but (as an atheist) i think thinking about death is great. embrace it. most of us work better with a deadline (pun?) hanging over us. and i think we live better that way, too. WOO FOR DEATH/MORTALITY!
Posted by Catherine on May 15, 2010
Madeleine, good blog. You are young to be thinking about death. I 5-5,kt confront my destiny until I had children. They are grown with lives of their own. Since I became godless, I no longer worry about death. Now I just concentrate on making the most of life for the time I have left, however long that is.
Go to your happy place.
Cathy
Posted by Iona on May 15, 2010
Loved that blog! Very funny and insightful.
And I felt incredibly cool for already knowing about the panics
Posted by Misha on May 15, 2010
Lovely blog Madeline, I shall have to check out those bands.
I have to admit I usually think about death in the shower. Which is why I quite often end up crying in the shower. Best place for it though, no-one can hear and you don’t have to then explain to your parents you were wondering how you’d cope if they died and then upset yourself doing so. Ahem.
Posted by Someone on May 15, 2010
“Yes, but, John Simm!” – haha, that made me laugh.
Really good blog. Really liked the reviews you gave. I will def check those bands out; I am in dire need of new good music.
And Rosanna’s right – great taste. :]
Posted by Megan on May 15, 2010
I think about death less often as I get older, despite having gone through the trauma of losing my mother and grandmother in the last four years. (Not to get too morbid, but the actually last few hours for both were really, really horrible. Luckily, those memories fade.) I also lost my father when I was five, so when I was a kid, I had a lot of fear of death. A lot. Not so much anymore. I’m agnostic, at best/worst, but I think that most of what people talk about when they say that ‘the spirit lives on’ is all about memory. This is why being a good, decent person means you will live on in marvellous ways.
Example: Since my mother died, I have excellent, adventurous dreams (in one, we were living in a squat in Paris on the run because of an insurance scam gone awry), so she lives on in my warped subconscience. I am very grateful for this. Also, she was beloved by this community (she worked at the neighbourhood elementary school for decades). Two little girls born in the year after she died were named after her. My interest/obsession with gardening after she died, as well as my face and my laugh, come straight from her. (My brothers and I all love British comedy too, which comes from both parents – Mum used to say she married Dad for his Monty Python records.)
ANYway, corny as it sounds, her impression is still here on Earth regardless of what really happened when she died. This is a huge comfort to me and made me much less scared.
Good job, Madeleine! And thanks for the music recommendations!
Posted by Rosanna on May 15, 2010
ooh Doctor Who, Mighty Boosh, Young Ones and John Simm – you have great taste.
Great blog by the way
Posted by lisa brunders on May 15, 2010
Wow Madeleine, you do think about death a lot don’t you! I seem to recall I thought about it more when I was younger, but hardly do at all now, except when someone dies, which I must admit does happen more often as I get older.
So, hopefully you’ll think about it less as you get older too. Don’t waste your life worrying about death. The idea of living each day as if it was last is to enjoy yourself, not to lie down and wait to die.
Posted by Alison on May 15, 2010
Maybe we should start a ‘save David Tennant blog’ and everyone could look out for him. I never thought of him dying, but you have ruined my day now