The longest mistake ever
I glanced at a newspaper article today, one of many lamenting our weird-ass electoral system which has allowed our general election to last what seems about 45 days without producing a winner. (By the way I’ve just heard a rumour that Gordon Brown has resigned, but I’ve got a baby strapped to me and I can’t reach my phone to find out if it’s true, so we’ll proceed as if things are normal.) Anyway, this article claimed that our system of forming a government, since it dates from the 19th century, is ‘one of the longest mistakes in history’. This is a debatable point, because other systems of election also have their problems, but what interested me was the idea of what the ‘longest ever mistake’ might be. And what the longest one I’ve ever made is.
Thinking about the second question, there are two possible answers - one large, some very specific. The general answer is that I’ve always been too hard on myself, worked myself too hard, and been too negative when I have failed to meet my own impossible standards - as regular readers of the blog will be aware – and that repeated tendency has cost me quite a lot in terms of professional progress and mental wellbeing. As well as making me a bit of a pain in the arse to be with, quite a lot of the time. I’m working hard on changing it as my personal challenge, and general mild optimism is where I’m hoping to be by 40. Nine and three-quarter years to nail it.
The more specific ones are numerous. I stayed on a pay-as-you-go phone for about two years too long when I got have just got a contract, because I hated dealing with phone companies so much that I could never find the will to set up a contract, and also because I didn’t trust them not to completely screw me once I WAS under a contract. Of course this was a classic ‘cutting off nose to spite face’ move, since it meant I punished the phone people for being bastards by paying them much more money than I needed to. Take that!
Oh, speaking of Take That, I predicted that their comeback would be a failure because people wouldn’t want to see 40-year-old men singing sexy songs and the world had moved on. In the event, it was probably the most successful comeback in pop history. Hmm. I also predicted that the Harry Potter phenomenon would be a fad, for adults at least. Again, hmm. Still, there was that man from Decca who turned down the Beatles because ‘guitar groups are on the way out’, so there’s always someone worse off than you.
Also, I gave my brother a Chinese burn when I was ten and he was six. Really made him scream. And it was only because he was being too noisy; not justified. For many years after that I felt guilty about the incident, getting occasional flashbacks and feeling that it must be in my brother’s subconscious as it clearly was in mine, and it could never quite be erased. These days I realise that fighting is an essential part of being small boys, and my brother and I are still best friends, plus he’s now strong enough to kill me with his thumb. So those years of remorse for the Chinese burn were a waste of worry. Mistake!
In terms of global mistakes, if there turns out not to be a God – and I’m reluctant to settle the question once and for all here, although I know quite a lot of people have made up their minds – then religion will have to go down as a big old 2000-year-plus blunder. Millions will have devoted their lives to, and millions more died as victims of, something which had no business existing. Of course people would have found all sorts of other pretexts for torturing each other, people always do, but even so. Whoops! On a less sweeping note, we can all agree that many of the clothes worn in the 70s, like platform soles and those shirts, were a mistake; and the BBC sitcom will probably be regarded by historians as at least eight years of ill-placed effort. But who knows? Who knows what mistakes the future will judge us most harshly for? That’s why this is a fun subject.
So, open discussion – what is your longest-running mistake (or mistake with the longest-lasting effects)? And what is the world’s most protracted mistake ever? Since I make everything a competition, we’ll make it a competition – if anyone comes up with a really good one, I or we as a group will try to reverse the effects of it somehow. I don’t know how.
But hey, I’ll soon have hooked someone up with a narrowboat owner, sent ten copies of my book to blog readers, and begun a human chain to get an iPod to a complete stranger, so why not? I hope when I’m 40 my longest mistake hasn’t become ‘devoting a decade to a blog where I set ever more elaborate competitions and was consumed by the admin they produced. Still, if it does come to that – as mistakes go, at least this is a fun one.
Posted by Knox on May 21, 2011
Biggest mistakes – personally:
- telling my then best friend how I felt about him…a confession of the ‘in love’ variety.
- going back to uni after my dad’s second bout of chemo seemed to go well, and that being the last time i saw him; and not calling him more in the subsequent days
Longest running mistake:
- constant procrastination (including never going to bed) so i end up rushing to do things at the last minute. i tend not to get too stressed, though, and things turn out ok and sometimes, very good, which is why i’ve never been spurred on to really change this much
World longest mistakes:
- interest-based banking system
- daylight saving time (messes with our sleep patterns, and apparently turning the clocks back has been shown to correlate to a higher number of road accidents
- colonisation
- industrialisation – definitely has a huge number of benefits, but also has brought about a lot of shit.
and could i argue that perhaps greed (whether for financial gain, power, or a combination of the two) has been a major factor in wars labelled as ‘religious’?
Posted by Hannahq on May 26, 2010
Things I think we should try to fix
- Rachel Winter’s nemesis – don’t know if they are still her nemesis or if she wants this to change, but it might be fun and challenging to effect a reconciliation
-Hannah’s – we could try and ease her into the fantastic world of musicals
- Iona’s – if her teens weren’t rebellious, I’m sure we could help her begin to have a rebellious phase now…
-Not sure about worldwide ones, but cars seems a bit more fixable than the rest?
Sorry for not just choosing one. What can I say? Fixing mistakes is fun.
Posted by MusicalLottie on May 13, 2010
I get flashbacks of things I’ve said that came out muddled, sometimes leading to offence, or at least making them think I was very strange. I physically wince whenever these flashbacks come! Most instances though I’ve probably overthought what the other person would be thinking anyway :S
Mark, just a little correction: religion has been around way longer than 2000 years. I don’t think belief is a mistake, but most organised religions are hypocritical and are based on fallible human philosophies (even if they claim otherwise).
Posted by James on May 12, 2010
My longest running mistake is not making enough mistakes. I always take the easy or safe option and have therefore missed out on a lot of opportunities in life to be much happier.
The worlds longest mistake was coming down out of the trees in the first place.
Posted by Rachael on May 12, 2010
Can’t believe I didn’t think of this one, when I was about 8 I wanted a new dolls pram for my birthday so the weekend before my parents took me to a massive toy store to pick one, there were loads and it took me ages to choose. finally I decided on a red one with bears on it that had bits that you could take off and came with a changing bag to match, I was so excited. When we got it home and put it all together we realised that although it was the same design it didnt have the extra bits on it and was basically a less-good version. I had to decide whether to keep this one or wait a couple of days for them to order in the one that I really wanted. I went for immediate gratification and regretted it ever since. Plus, I only ever took it out once because I was worried that the other kids from school would think I was a baby for still playing with dolls. It still bugs me. So basically my mistake was opting for immediate gratification instead of holding out for something better, and growing up too fast.
Posted by Kate B on May 11, 2010
I think my biggest mistake was probably attenting one of the top private all-girl schools in the country from the age of seven to thirteen. Being compared to other beautiful and incredibly intelligent girls for six years has a way of destroying self-confidence, especially at such a fragile time in a persons life. My self-confidence was so low I decided perhaps I could eat my way out of it. It turned out by the age of twelve I was hugely overweight, really not helping my problems at school.
It also meant that I believed that these years of struggling, with not only my confidence levels but my acidemic achievements, was due to me simply being unintelligent. However, when I finally managed to encourage my parents to let me move schools I was not only moved in to higher sets in everything, I discovered I was dyslexic.
Now, at the age of nearly fifteen I am finally building up my self-confidence and am making fair progress with my GCSEs. And I managed to loose a lot of the weight I gained and am now a fit and healthy person. Plus, it’s really nice to be able to read an optimistic and highly amusing blog with really lovely comments.
As for the worlds biggest mistake, I have to agree with Daniel on saying Piers Morgan.
Posted by Helen on May 11, 2010
I read this yesterday and have been thinking about it. I have concluded that my longest mistake (probably) was:
At 6 years old, having a girl named Katie come to my house. She was in my class at my school and we were sort of friends so she came over. First we played some games which was enjoyable. But then she started playing with my brother and told me that she ‘didn’t want to play with me anymore and that my brother was more fun’. They then played a game called ‘Run Away From Helen’ where they…well, it’s obvious.
I can see that this is a silly little insignificant story and I can also see that my brother probably was more fun. But I have never forgotton it and I just wonder if maybe it’s had a bit of an influence on current issues with confidence, in which case that’s an 11year blunder.
But far-reaching consequences or not, it at the very least meant I had a bit of a sad time, which is never good, especially when you are 6. But I don’t want to go all Freudy – That would be a huge mistake.
Posted by Sarah on May 11, 2010
As longest mistake. That’s an easy one. The very expensive private art college i’m going to. I’m in loans up to my eyes and guess what, I hate what i’m studying. Ah well, lesson learned I guess.
-Sarah
Posted by Louise on May 11, 2010
I once got steaming drunk and went home with a stranger and so I didn’t get a reputation I continued to date him for 8 months even though I didn’t really like him. Thats quite a long mistake?
Posted by Ben Draper on May 11, 2010
I recently bought a second hand velour shirt. That was pretty bad. I’ve not worn it yet. I might try it out soon.
Other than that I think it’s convincing myself that I love maths. I think I did at one point but those days are long gone. It just means that I tend to gravitate towards maths filled walks of life, looking at them through the biased brought about by not doing maths at the time of making the decision. Examples of these walks of life include Maths and Further Maths at A level and a degree and probable career in engineering. It gets me every time.
On a more direct note, I’m not so sure about the implementation of proportional representation. I was. All the way through the election I’ve been on its side but that is sort of the problem. The election has only really been on the hob for a month or so and, in the grand scale of political history, that is not very long for such a severe reform to be played out over.
It occurred to me whilst watching the news “special” on monday night, the eve of this blog i think, and I considered the whole thing in the context of history, as if i was studying it in a hundred years time. The last time any major political reform took place, it came about as a result of years of ill feeling followed by protests and riots, revolutionary organizations, pamphleteering and a hell of a lot of fuss. We just don’t really deserve it. All that has happened this time is that a few celebrities have endorsed the idea on twitter and that’s it, a referendum seems inevitable.
I’m not saying I’d vote against the PR system and I’m not even saying that it’s bad that it has happened over such a short period of time. If anything it’s good. Progress, in the context of civilization, tends to involve people getting things they don’t really deserve more quickly and with less fuss than they did before, in fact, the measure of the quality of a society is its ability to do so. Surely this must surely be progress in the context of political progress and Britain is at the forefront of democracy.
To continue an earlier metaphor, Britain is, as I type, at the boiling point of this election, the point at which the system has just enough energy to transform from the functioning but ultimately familiar and disappointing water in the pan into something fundamentally the same but with a modern edge; STEAM!
Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the age of steam?
Posted by Lindsay on May 11, 2010
My longest mistake is also a waste of worry, and demonstrates beautifully what a sheltered upbringing I had:
Age 7, a sweet-deprived child finds a pack of Juicy Fruit on the floor of her classroom. Cursory glance to make sure no-one would immediately claim ownership, she convinces herself that the owner has emigrated, and shares it out among her friends. Cue showdown with the boy she has a crush on who was the true owner of the gum, she lies to his face, spits out the gum and hides the pack in her sock drawer.
Twenty years later and the smell of Juicy Fruit makes me feel like an escaped convict. I had two years of opening my sock drawer to a wave of fruity guilt. Time to forgive myself- I would have done the time by now if I had handed myself over to the police.
Posted by glamlovinkitty on May 11, 2010
Carey, your post makes me feel simultaneously sad and inspired. It truly sucks that you missed out on this time, and I can empathise in a way – with my dad dying when I was 14, my mum kinda lost it and wouldn’t let me out of her sight, so I didn’t get the teenage years I’d hoped for. I understand how hard it is to feel like you’re missing out – and you had the added worries about your health which must have been a colossal weight.
But on the other hand, look what you’ve come through. That is pretty amazing. You didn’t let it beat you.
Also, my own experience has been that the friends I kept the longest are the ones I met when I was 18/19/20 – not the ones I knew from school. The best is to come.
x
Posted by Lizzie on May 11, 2010
I still feel guilty about stealing the last chip off my Mum’s plate in a restaurant. I have no idea why.
Posted by Carl on May 11, 2010
Swindon Town decided against taking, the then on loan, Shay Given on a full term contract and turned down the chance to sign Theo Walcott, aged 14, for being too small. Nuff said.
Posted by Georgia on May 11, 2010
The mistake which I am constantly embarrassed and annoyed by is the fact that my two only serious past relationships were both with lovely boys named Tom. My friends/family will never let me live it down and it means I will never be able to meet a lovely Tom and like him again- it would be far too hilarious for everyone involved….. and slightly insane of me
Posted by Carey on May 11, 2010
My longest running mistake? When I was 16 I was told I had cancer, with my immune system being compromised I chose to take the last 6 months of my secondary schooling off and stay at home to lessen the chances of me dying.
To be honest I didn’t really get to be 16. I missed out on all the friends and I had as, out of sight I was very much out of mind. Today these friends still talk about those six months as if they were the best of their lives and I (excluded largely from the group) catch the occassional glimpses of this life that I missed out on through their facebook posts appearing on my newsfeed.
When I was ill people who mattered to me either looked at me very differently or avoided looking at all, as though my illness was an injury to the landscape of the world they were viewing. Perhaps if I had not chosen to hide I would have forced them to confront their issues with cancer. Make them see that although I was destroyed, I could rebuild better.
I often wonder and indeed believe strongly that, had I taken the risks involved in staying in school I would have not lost all my confidence along with my hair (although apparently my ability to make cancer ‘hilarious’ somewhat makes up for this, and my hair has grown back now). I would have been closer to the people I moved up from secondary school to college with, would not have dropped drama (although I am an awful actor) because I would not have been afraid to enjoy time with these people, and would have perhaps turned out very differently.
Through choosing to stay away from school I feel I lost many friends, many potential friends, much confidence and a chance to have shaped the rest of my life in a more positive way. I can never have that time back, I will never have been 16. Now I am more or less happy with who I have become but still sometimes I wonder if who I couldn’ve been wouldn’t be rather a lot better.
Posted by amycool on May 11, 2010
I tend to agree with the Taoist philosophy when it comes to mistakes. What may seem a mistake now could easily turn out to be advantageous in the future. The trick is not to panic and see what happens. For example, a pretty monumental mistake on my part was believing my awful GP when he said my constant illness was due to a dust allergy. What I should have done was get a new doctor and a second opinion. Instead, I just left it and put up with the symptoms. Thankfully, moving to my boyfriend’s house meant a new doctor and within a year I was diagnosed with bronchiectasis. Had I insisted on a CT scan in the first 6 months I could have avoided 2 and a half years of further lung damage. I beat myself up about that for a while. But even something that seems entirely bad has had positive consequences. For example, I quit teaching because of my health, and only afterwards did I realise that teaching definitely wasn’t for me. I probably would have kept plugging away at a career that I wasn’t very good at if it weren’t for my dodgy lungs. I also started running because of my lungs, which has given me a much more “I can do anything” perspective on life.
And as for Dawn (my Mum) wishing she had never got married – then I wouldn’t have existed! Oh, I see, that was a pretty big mistake.
Posted by glamlovinkitty on May 11, 2010
Two big mistakes here, one of which I couldnt do much about but do regret.
First, and I could have changed this, it was a mistake for me to do not one, but two, business degrees. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do, but I wanted to get a degree, so I took business, knowing I never wanted to be involved in that world. Stumbled into a university job afterwards, where I was encouraged to do a masters – which I did. Only now am I studying what I actually now realise I want to do – psychology. Yes these two degrees helped me move up the career ladder and Im now earning a very good salary, but Im bored shitless.
Second big mistake, which I couldnt do much about, was not driving for years after passing my test. I passed when I was 18, and didnt get behind a wheel again until about 5 years ago – and then only briefly because I had, in the interim, acquired ‘The Fear’. My dad died when I was 14, and my mum couldnt drive, so the car was sold. It was going to be too long before I would be able to learn to drive. So after I passed, I’d no access to a car and no money to buy one, then I moved up to the city and didnt really need one. Only just starting to drive again now and really lamenting all those wasted years.
Biggest mistake in history – agree, it’s religion. I cant believe so many people bought into it. Consider that when David Icke claimed to be the messiah some years back, he was laughed out of the place. But the same crap has been lapped up at some point in history. Madness.
Posted by Irwin on May 11, 2010
I love the first comment, Zoe’s.
My situation is very similar i.e. shitty circumstances leading to awesomeness.
The first time I went to university it was rubbish, and the first night some fat drunk guy on the floor above me waved a knife in my face. I became a bit depressed and reclusive.
But on the upside I did a lot of writing in that time, got writing for a magazine and a fairly popular US website and wrote a novel.
And now I’m at Winchester with the best friends I’ve ever had.
One of the worst mistakes in history is probably the Vienna art school’s rejection letter sent to one Adolf Hitler…
Posted by Laura on May 11, 2010
Too many by far, and no exaggeration. The biggest was not making the most of the time I had with my mum before she died. I never wanted to accept how ill she was so never said things that should have been said, and pretended she would go on forever. She didn’t and I now have to live daily with the fact that I can’t even remember the last time I had told her I loved her.
Oh, and spending far too much time being consumed by guilt/regret for my numerous errors in judgement. Working on that…
Posted by Daniel on May 11, 2010
greatest as in biggest.
Posted by Daniel on May 11, 2010
The world’s greatest mistake is surely Piers Morgan
Posted by Madeleine on May 11, 2010
My biggest mistake happened in primary school, where I liked a boy for 7 YEARS and then when I was thirteen he finally said he liked me too. Only to a month later say it was a joke and that he had never liked me at all, after i had already professed my undying love many times. I know that it was just a stupid kid thing to do, but the humiliation and self loathing that I felt from that point has stayed with me ever since, and stoppped me from ever being able to make a move on any boy I have been interested since then because “as if he’s going to feel the same way”.
I feel like I’ve missed out on a big part of being a teenager, and that this might negativly effect any relationships I (hopefully) have in the future.
Part of my TYSIC is to let go of this insecurity and negative self image and to stop worrying about this stuff, and I do feel like I’m letting go a bit which is good!
Posted by Hannah on May 11, 2010
Biggest mistake was watching Annie when I was 9. I still hate musicals to this day; 9 years later.
Posted by Rachel Winter on May 11, 2010
oh and as for mistakes – there’s an email I wish I hadn’t replied to back in 2005. It caused me to have a nemesis.
oo-er!
ps Zoe – as for where to stand on pies, I would suggest on the rim, where the crust is thickest?
Posted by Rachel Winter on May 11, 2010
I can’t believe for a minute you’re a ‘pain in the arse to be around’?
Think you need to read back the sentence where you say you’re too hard on yourself!
sounds like you’re making amazingly speedy progress on the fix it challenge – v exciting.
I feel you will be calling my bluff sooner than I had thought.
Posted by deanna on May 11, 2010
my longest running mistake was staying those extra 3 years with that boy
Posted by david on May 11, 2010
non, je ne rien.
Posted by Catherine on May 11, 2010
@Dawn @Marbles Same here.
Posted by Zoe Fell on May 10, 2010
Something to talk about in tomorrow’s blog?
How about your time at the Sony Awards tonight, and your dislike of Louis Spence?
Failing that, how about Pies? One of my best friends hates pies; I don’t get it myself. Where do you stand on them?
Posted by rachael on May 10, 2010
I think mine would be worrying too much about things I can never chnge or things I’ve said, even though other people have already forgotten it. Tht and spending my entire childhood convinced that I was going to marry declan donelly.
Posted by Laurs on May 10, 2010
Hmm, mistakes, there have been a few. I think the most important mistake I made was thinking that I could deal with my depression and everything else that goes along with it by myself. Clearly I couldn’t cope, and it turns out I needed my friends quite a lot.
My second ongoing mistake is to not say how I really feel for fear of upsetting other people, even when not speaking makes me upset. Daft I know, but hey! Starting to get a bit better at not doing that now.
Generally speaking though, I do seriously believe that everything happens for a reason, it might not be obvious at the time, but one day it will be. It helps me to not regret too much stuff. If I didn’t, I think I’d drown in regrets…
Posted by K on May 10, 2010
My longest running mistake – scraping (mostly sleeping) through 3 years of Uni doing a subject I didn’t like & didn’t really understand in a vain effort to please my father, ending up with a glorious ‘Fail & Disbar’, rather than having the guts to switch to something I would like after the 1st year. Even after 20 years, having University but no degree on your CV still causes uncomfortable questions.
World’s most protracted mistake? Humans. I’m fully with Agent Smith on this one.
Posted by Lynsey on May 10, 2010
Mistakes, I’ve made a few. Actually, I’ve made more than a few – haven’t we all? Wearing leggings was one of my biggest mistakes when I was younger. I went through a (brief) phase where I practically lived in them as a teen. Now I realise just how horrible that particular garment actually is. Reading all my sister’s text messages when I borrowed her phone once is also something I regret. That’s almost as bad as reading someone’s diary these days, isn’t it? There’s more, but there’s a couple of examples for you.
As for the world’s biggest mistake, I’d agree with those who say religion.
Posted by lisa brunders on May 10, 2010
Smoking, that was a huge mistake. From the age of about 11, until the day after I learned I had cancer.
I’ve never smoked since, that was twelve and a half years ago, my last test was all clear.
Posted by LisaD on May 10, 2010
Longest personal mistake: When I was a 18 I got my heart broken, severely debilitatingly (probably not a word) broken. In one five minute conversation my love, body, sex, sexual orientation and personality all got devastated at once…also I was in the closet so anytime anyone asked me what was up I thought I had to say “nothing.” The mistake was that after that I shut my heart up. I didn’t want to become the kind of hard person that hates everyone so I just ignored love for about 12 years. I figured–sort of rightly–that it made it easier to love in other ways if the part of my heart that was broken just got cut off instead of shoddily repaired. True, but not good, since I wasn’t in fact a nun.
Also, I wore a lot of acid wash denim in the 80′s so there is not a single picture from that decade in which I look good.
Global mistake: Somewhere around the 16th century someone came up with the idea of making money without doing any actual work by buying bits of a company. Even though there were financial disasters happening on a regular basis (thousands of people and an entire country got wiped out because TULIPS became uncool!) the practice continued. Now thanks to the digital component, billions of people can get wiped out at once, but the practice continues.
Posted by Anji on May 10, 2010
My biggest mistake? Trying to get fit. I’d just finished uni, started in a job I loved and was still doing my part time youth work. Joined a gym, to look after myself. Had pains in my leg, ignored for a while and just ‘pushed’ through it.
I’ve learnt slot about me and how I deal with things, and have come out the otherwise shaken but ready to deal with it smiling.
Eventually went to get it checked out, told to rest it and then carry on. Returned and got to the point where I couldn’t move my knee without extreme pain. Fast forward 4 months, lost both my jobs and having an operation on my knee. Followed by 7 months Physio only to end up having another operation, wearing a knee brace for 3 months, being on crutches for most of this time, needing yet more Physio.
End result being I can’t do the line of work I spent college, uni studying for and wanting since the age of 8. Roll into a horrid time of depression and feeling like I’d wasted everything and feeling that having a buggered knee that will probably result in a replacement, wasn’t a fantasic out look at 25.
However 2 years on, i think I have now ‘accepted’ things far better and am focusing on the things I’ve acheived, even during that time, and who knows in time I may feel good enough to look into what I can use my studys for along
another path. And I’m even trying to get my fitness up!!
Everything happens for a reason, right?!
Posted by Emmy on May 10, 2010
In the 70s, my dad used to wear purple velvet flares. He had huge glasses and a bushy ginger beard too. It was/is (in photo form) something to behold.
My biggest mistake is… going to the high school that I did for the first three years of it. It was awful. The worst years of my life. I am only just getting over it.
The world’s biggest mistake is cars. I say this having just been in an accident with one (his/her fault) and hurt my ankle. And the idiot saw me fall and sped off. Screw you, you fuck.
Sorry.
Posted by Iona on May 10, 2010
I think my biggest mistake may turn out to be working too hard at school and then looking back at my teenage years and thinking “so that was my rebellious phase. Hmmm.”
Globally, I agree that religion is a pretty long mistake. Though in the (unlikely) event that god exists all the atheists burning in hell will think atheism was probably a mistake…
Posted by Zoe on May 10, 2010
I’m hoping my longest running mistake has finally come to an end. I had a best friend at High School. We met on the first day and that was us set until about two years after leaving at sixteen. My friend struggled a bit as her family had moved back to the town they came from.She stayed but it really wasn’t working so she eventually moved too. We tried to keep in touch but distance and all that (this was before Twitter, Facebook you understand).
Anyway at the age of twenty one I was to be married. Obviously I wanted my friend to be bridesmaid. She said no. I never really understood why and for fifteen years I’ve held a stupid grudge against her for rejecting me on such an important day of my life.
About two weeks ago, through another old school friend, I saw her name on Facebook. Someone had posted pictures of her on her wedding day. There she was smiling back at me and I suddenly missed her terribly. She must have had her reasons not to come on my big day. I’m starting to realised what a bloody fool I’ve been.
Last week for the first time in fifeteen years we spoke on the phone. She plans to come to Norwich in September and we’re going to meet up. Tenner says I cry first.
By the way the wooly hippy in me says that mankind’s biggest mistake is thinking that the planet belongs to us and not us to the planet. That’s quite a long mistake I reckon.
Posted by Gabi on May 10, 2010
My biggest mistake is forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do, just because I reckon other people will like me better if I do. It is only now that I have realised this fact, that I am not doing things to please others so much as myself. I have learned that in every situation, ultimately, as long as you are happy with yourself, things will generally slot into place.
On a more cheerful note, I read a brilliant topical joke on twitter today by Tiernam Douib
‘So brown leaves… And it’s not even summer yet’
Excellent.
Posted by Corey on May 10, 2010
My team Chesterfield once made 2 very costly mistakes. Firstly, when he was a teenager, Bolton’s Kevin Davies played for us. He was a fast, skillful goal getter much sought after by Premier and Div 1 teams and after our ‘seen to be believed’ run to the semi finals of the FA Cup the board decided to cash in on him. Southampton spent £750’000 on him, which although it is a huge amount of money and meant we were in a secure financial position……….. a year later he signed for Blackburn Rovers for £7.5 million!!.
Mistake 1: Didn’t sell him for enough
Mistake 2: The board didn’t put a ‘sell on clause’ in his contract. Even 5% would have been another windfall.
Bonus Mistake #3: A year later we had a new owner ride into town called Darren Brown (not the Paul Daniels wannabe), and he transferred all the clubs money into his personal bank acc and left town again. It turned out he didn’t have any money himself so he took ours. He got caught though and went to prison, but we never got our money back!.
Posted by Misha on May 10, 2010
I think I’ve always worried too much. I used to hate going to parties when I was little, because I knew there would be a party food buffet. Whenever such a situation arose I’d take a tiny amount of things I quite liked and then claim I was full. Because I was genuinely terrified that people would think I was greedy if I ate too much. I don’t know why, I was a skinny child although I ate normally the rest of the time.
That’s one of those weird things that’s stuck with me for as long as I can remember. Which is a pretty stupid long running mistake. I’m still pretty much the same now, depsite the fact that I work with food and don’t judge anyone for what they choose to eat. I occasionally wonder how some of the kids manage when they appear only to buy 5 cookies for the entire day’s food, but that’s another matter. So there, that’s mine. I worry too much.
Posted by Marbles on May 10, 2010
I echo Dawn’s mistake! Live and learn
Posted by Megan on May 10, 2010
Hm. I still feel guilty about a pack of gum I swiped at age 7. Not about the stealing so much as the lying to my mother about it.
But my longest continual mistake is the combination of apathy/laziness/lack-of-confidence that led me to be, at best, an adequate-to-good student/employee.
Until I was shipped off to the gifted student program (aged 9, BTW – I’m 32 now), I never had to work hard; I pretty much had to show up and I’d get stellar marks. After that, I made do with okay marks because I just didn’t want to put the giant effort to get really good results. This meant no scholarships for university or postgrad (but note that I did get to work on/finish a Masters with my equivalent-of-a-second-class-degree — I also got a huge amount of debt), but I just know I could have been capable of so much more if television/video games/books/pubbing hadn’t occupied so much of my time. Like, most of it.
I was, and still am, incredibly driven by deadlines in a ‘oh, shit, I really need to get working on this’ way. I *know* that I could/should do better, but since I’ve managed this far (and frequently get praise for my work from people who work much hard than I do), I haven’t even put in the effort to fix it. Undoing a life of lethargy and disorganisation is really hard.
Posted by Someone on May 10, 2010
School. That was quite a long-running mistake of mine. Most aspects of it, really. I don’t think I’ll forget it and half wish I could go back and do it all differently… and half never ever want to go back to that horrible scarring environment ever again. I suppose it actually makes me appreciate the crapness that might’ve come after, so could be worse!
I don’t know about people who say no regrets though, because surely they’re just lying to themselves. Sure our past shapes are future, but… as far as I go, I’m not sure I’m that amazing to justify 14-odd years of really just wishing I was elsewhere all the time. Ah well, could be worse. That’s a good phrase that, I mean… or at least equally as bad.
As far as worldly issues… religion as you mentioned has got to be the biggest time waster. But again I suppose at least most religions have reasonable basic guidelines to start off with… The 10 commandments could be reversed and Sunday school could involve goats… in a bad way! But then, we could all live in peace and harmony without having to fill our existance with petty wars and a futile search for something to look up to and boss us about a bit. Sorry for the ramble, but this space really does promote procastination.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on May 10, 2010
I tend to not think about mistakes too much and just use them as a tool for learning but there’s a couple which still stick with me and I fret too much about them. One of them happened a few months ago when someone fell off a rock climb wall when I should have been paying attention whilst belaying and they broke their arm. It’s not be overly long, but it’s also not looking like I’ll be able to get over it any time soon as I haven’t been back rock climbing since and even though a couple of people have tried to talk me back I still can’t quite bring myself to sign up. I also suffered a setback in my confidence for that aspect when I bumped into a few people from the society and they all blanked me.
I’m currently hoping that I won’t see uni as a mistake. 3 years will be a long mistake and at the moment I’m not enjoying it as much as the other freshers (are we still freshers? it’s nearly been a year of self-pity and hatred).
As for the world’s longest mistake, I’m not sure, I’m not very worldly. Maybe Hitler? we can trace his family tree and say his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents made the mistake of having a child and starting the ball rolling.
Posted by Joanna on May 10, 2010
Two mistakes spring immediately to mind…
First, I held a very lengthy grudge against my stepfather, just because… well, because he was my stepfather. I’m over that now; he’s not all bad. I spent many many years being angsty and depressed over something which I really shouldn’t have been. I guess that’s probably just part of being a teen though.
Also, I trounced off to uni to study Forensic Science. Once there I realised it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, to me at least. I stuck it out for a year before changing courses and am now studying English Literature, and *loving* it. Uni said I was the first person ever to make that swap. Excellent.
Posted by Alex on May 10, 2010
I still get occasional flashes of guilt for having read my sister’d diary when I was around 11 and she around 9. I doubt she remembers I ever did it…
Posted by Dawn on May 10, 2010
My biggest mistake was getting married!
Posted by DeborahF on May 10, 2010
I’ve sure I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life but to be honest I can’t think of any with long term detrimental effects or one’s that I particularly regret. Perhaps I’m just blindly optimistic and don’t register them
Posted by Rosanna on May 10, 2010
oh and adding to Zoe’s mistake – I did geography and graphics at GCSE and I’m now doing history at AS level which I really hate…
Posted by Kathryn on May 10, 2010
Oh, so many mistakes I could lament. So many things which still keep me awake at night thinking “Damn I shouldn’t have done that…”
Most of my mistakes are things I did accidentally which have stuck with me, such as failing my driving test 7 times. I’ve had to own up to it any time I’ve been asked, and my mother called me a failure. And possibly not studying hard enough and only getting an A at GCSE physics and then feeling stupid for being so hard on myself that an A isn’t good enough.
I can confirm that Gordon Brown has resigned, if you haven’t caught up yet.
The world’s most protracted mistake? Difficult. Exploitation of less developed countries, perhaps.
If this is the first comment (hopefully) I’d like to ask- what was the last book you read?
Posted by Rosanna on May 10, 2010
Longest mistake – Great Wall of China – bit of a waste of time that
Posted by Zoe Fell on May 10, 2010
This blog post actually made me tear up a bit – surely it’s not supposed to do that?
My longest running mistake was choosing to do Chemistry and Biology for my AS Levels. Two failed exams, 9 months of beating myself around the head and having to leave the high school I’d spent 6 years at were the pennance to pay.
Interestingly enough, this actually led to the most wonderful 17 months of my life so far.
I’m now doing a course I love, with people I adore and have had opportunities I would never have had if I hadn’t made those original choices.
I suppose you never know what effect mistakes can have on your life until you see them through to the end.
And I suppose optimism does help as well.