Like spinning plates
There are so many things happening at once in the blog now that I really need a day just to take stock of it, and bring you up to date with (most of) it. So see this, today’s blog, as a kind of school assembly where they read out the netball results and remind you smoking is never acceptable on school property.
More than a hundred entries now for the getting-an-exclusive-copy-of-the-book competition, and our panel of judges (me and hopefully one other person) are rifling through them. Every time I launch a competition on these pages I expect about 20 people to enter and it’s normally four times that, which means I must be about four times as good a person as I thought, since one’s value as a person is entirely measured by popularity on the internet. Also, the standard of the entries for this one – which asked for quite a bit of creativity – was very high indeed. I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, or rather yours, but the readers of this blog are definitely the smartest and funniest people around. The only downside was that a couple of people were psyched out by the competition and said things like ‘everyone’s so clever I feel worse about myself’. Tsk. That wasn’t the point of the exercise. I’m almost tempted to give books to those people to cheer them up. But not quite.
The deadline for entries is the end of today. I would say I’ve picked two out of the five winners; the remaining three are still very much up for grabs. Good luck!
Now, yesterday I was talking about the MP3 Challenge, my pride and joy, in which an iPod nano is sent around the country as a kind of small purple social lubricant, bringing strangers together as it passes from one to the next, before eventually ending up with a lady called Anna in Essex. The challenge began with me buying the purple friend and entrusting it to anglo-Scottish traveller Sarah who whisked it up to Dunfermline. I said yesterday that the Feasibility Committee (Rachel, Misha and Rick, who have planned this massive venture) had put a map together where we can all watch the adventure play itself out, and sure enough, here are two:
This map shows the location of everyone participating in this ludicrous business. You will see there are bloody loads of us; there’s barely a corner of the country not covered in little Google pins. http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=115225875140989805988.000481ff79af0bbeb3f88
And this map is a work-in-progress, showing the journey of the iPod as it glides up and down this land of ours. So far, it just shows that I’ve bought it and it’s gone up to Scotland with Sarah. Keep checking back and you’ll see, in neat pictorial form, how the story develops. Although you’ll also be able to hear by keeping on reading this blog, where there will be plenty of updates. http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=115225875140989805988.000484aa2b472a974150f
There were some people who didn’t manage to get signed up in time to participate in this, but really wanted to be involved. Or who live somewhere like Canada and were reluctant to jeopardise the whole thing by luring the iPod to Nova Scotia. Rachel has suggested that those people could add a song to Anna’s epic playlist. To do this, send an MP3 of your chosen song to mp3challenge@live.co.uk with a brief explanation of why you chose it, if you like. You’ll then be added to the map and it will become a truly global endeavour. I imagine the full playlist – eventually numbering about 80 songs – will be posted up here too.
I’ve said it before but if this isn’t fun, I really don’t know what is. Apart from table football, I love that. And drinking wine with friends. But not like the groups of friends you see drinking wine on adverts, who are normally middle-aged women advertising a laxative or something, and they make jokes like ‘she used to have a bad pain… now she’s dumped him! SCREEEEAM!’ And it’s always white wine.
Anyway.
Other stuff; I hope to get back to the Very Late Review in the next few days – featuring your write-ups of the likes of Doritos and the Jonas Brothers – and also I need to do another Can I Help You?, addressing the rest of the ‘readers’ problems’ I’ve still got sitting around on my computer. I’m going to continue this feature regularly, but until I clear this backlog, please can everyone try not to have any problems. Or, have them but internalise them and then really hit me hard with them when Can I Help You? returns.
In non-blog news, I’ve been tinkering with the list of work-in-progress shows I published the other day. Unfortunately the Winchester show is now not happening, for reasons too stupid to go into here. But Shappi Khorsandi is on instead, so you should probably go and see her if you’re near Winchester. On the plus side, I have put in about three or four new dates, and am about to confirm a Brighton one which is VERY SOON so if you are in Brighton you REALLY NEED TO COME PLEASE.
The idea of launching my book in Edinburgh and London (and Melbourne), in a slightly crazy way, is going to come to fruition – more details next week.
And lastly, I don’t know if you know, but my brother is the world’s youngest international football coach. Yeah, I know, but it’s true. He went out to the Federated States of Micronesia to teach them to play football and now runs their team. He did all this off his own bat and with his own money. He needs to raise a bit of money to take the team around and buy them equipment and stuff. So he and I are putting on a big gig in London in May with various well known acts. It will have a sort of World Cup-y theme but with the major caveat that people who hate football will also enjoy it. In short it will be the world’s first major meeting of football fans and football-dislikers in the same room. I plan on it being a bit like my 24 hour shows, in that there will be a lot of chaos and special guests and a lot of it will be made up on the spot. But it won’t be 24 hours long. It will just be a normal-length, strange, funny evening of comedy with some twists.
It’ll be on May 23. If you like me, you will enjoy it. So I thought I’d mention it briefly here, but more details over the next couple of days.
Right, that’s me. Always plenty to talk about, isn’t there? The devil makes work for idle hands. Although most of us don’t believe in the devil these days, the sentiment still holds: I guess the modern equivalent, in terms of sapping the will and time of the idle, is daytime TV.
Right. Assembly over. Please now walk quietly and sensibly to your classes. WALK, please. Or whatever it is Headmasters say. I’m 30 now. Sigh.
Posted by Laura B on April 24, 2010
Head teachers still say walk quietly. Over and over again. It doesn’t make them walk quietly but at least they’ve tried.
Posted by lisa brunders on April 23, 2010
Morning Mark,
I still can’t see your 22nd April blog, but I’m not worried as I couldn’t see the last one that was quirky either. I’m on a mobile, don’t know if that’s the reason.
Either way missing you!
Posted by Katy on April 22, 2010
Very excited about the MP3 challenge, I actually clapped my hands in delight when I got my email the other day saying further instructions would be along soon.
Also very excited about the football/comedy gig. Im assuming since I love both then I will really love this gig? My calendar now has a lot of “Mark Watson” appointments in it which possibly makes me look like a stalker.
Posted by Kim on April 22, 2010
Mark, just wanted to say that your blogs are brilliant. I spose it’s a bit sad, but when I know I’m gonna have a fairly naff day (like today’s “printing off the undergrad dissertation” debacle), I save reading them so that I have something to look forward to (this and a chocolate-based snack). Hearing about the ipod’s progress has really cheered me up, so ta for that!
x
Posted by Shell on April 21, 2010
Great round up blog – thanks!
I’d love to come to ‘the world’s first major meeting of football fans and football-dislikers in the same room’ I am of the latter disposition so maybe I’ll ‘swing’ to the other side if the persuasion is good
Sadly it’s a Sunday night which makes it more difficult to attend if not London based than a Friday or Saturday…but I’ll see what I can do.
How about a tweet along commentary or video streaming for those who can’t make it to get involved?
Posted by Natalie-Helen on April 21, 2010
Do we all have to sing “All things Bright and Beautiful” now?
By the way please check the book competition comments for my incredibly last minute entry.
If I could have a headmastery tick and a sticker saying Well Done I’d be amazingly pleased. If you’d consider the entry and perhaps award me a prize I would be overly ecstatic!
^_^
Posted by Kate on April 21, 2010
That gig sounds so exiting!
Pleased that I can add a song! Now I’ve just got the incredibly hard decision as to what it will be…
Posted by Anna Lowman on April 21, 2010
Ruddy hell, couldn’t really be any more excited about the comedy/football fundraising gig.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on April 21, 2010
The joys of Assembly, thankfully those times are over for me, they used to make us sit cross legged in vertical lines (instead of the horizontally) on the floor for one of our assemblys, those were a mess with 16 year olds.
As a football and comedy obsessed person, I want to come to the May gig but alas I have 4 exams that week so it’s probably best I lock myself in my room and revise.
Posted by Emmy on April 21, 2010
So much stuff happening! It’s wonderfully ridiculous! It feels a bit like a war film, when the generals are planning a complicated attack, only with us it’s fun and not deadly. I also feel like this is the sort of thing that requires flowcharts, but maybe not.
I hate football so your show looks promising. I really want to go… Of the three (that I know of) shows happening in London in May, I will make it to one! Yes I will! I’ll dig for the spare change hidden in my sock drawer and the like.
I graduated school a year ago, so unless things have massively changed in a short time, they still say that. Also ‘IF YOU DO NOT QUIET DOWN RIGHT NOW NO ONE WILL LEAVE THIS ROOM’.
I am so glad that stage of my life is over.
Posted by Irwin on April 21, 2010
This isn’t as bad though, and it sounds like it’s more Winchester’s fault.
Posted by Irwin on April 21, 2010
I can’t believe you’re not coming to WInchester anymore.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been slightly disappointed by a Bristol based stand up comedian either!
Posted by Carl on April 21, 2010
You’re work load is inspiring, Mark. Watching you go out of your way for us never fails to make me smile. I’m so smiley right now I’m going to give you a nice big friendly (and straight) kiss. Mwah x
Posted by fuzzy_ducky (Laura) on April 21, 2010
Right, first off, everyone… when you’re leaving assembly, remember, the harder you push, the faster you’ll get out
(It’s fun to shout this in front of a teacher – but not if it’s a strict teacher)
Loved this blog. I’m starting to feel like your stalker now, must thank Mr. McIntyre for introducing me (not formally) to you.
I’ve decided I’m going to come to one of your shows. Hopefully in August, at the Edinburgh comedy festival. I’ll find a way… As long as this ash cloud (which I thought would be mentioned in this blog but thankfully not) stays away!! I’ll find a way there though!! (I’ll be the one wearing green)
Oh, and Mark? You’ve been promoted (when I typed that it came out promotoed) on my compute! You’re now number 4 of my bookmarks. That’s quite an achievement, as I’ve just figured out how to bookmark websites.
Posted by Rachel Winter on April 21, 2010
Yeah we are the best aren’t we.
May 23rd idea sounds great. now where did I leave those magic beans…!
Posted by Katelils on April 21, 2010
I now have so many links relating to TYSIC, iPods, forums, and blogs; I have a little Mark Watson folder in my bookmarks list!
)
Posted by Anna on April 21, 2010
That should say ‘wound’, not ‘would’.
Posted by Anna on April 21, 2010
You really should stop calling me a lady, you know- I’m not in the least bit ladylike. I drink pints and bite my (toe) nails. I talk about inappropiate things in front of strangers (like the time I sneezed and one of the stitches in my episiotomy would came out), and I look like I’m in drag when I wear heels. See, I’m not a lady at all.
Posted by Bloomability (Beth) on April 21, 2010
My entry to Anna’s playlist keeps on failing to send… If anyone has a copy of Stranger Than Fiction – Joe Jackson maybe could you send it on my behalf please, (however unlikely it is)?
Posted by Rachel on April 21, 2010
We just get “you have *insert number* of days left” or “it’s *insert tutor group*’s turn to put the chairs away today*. My school aren’t too concerned with running it seems…
I love the whole idea of the MP3 Challenge, and it may just be the most fun thing I’ve known about recently.
Also, your blog always somehow makes me wish that I lived in London. Nothing cool/crazy/interesting ever happens here. Looking forward to the book though
Posted by Someone on April 21, 2010
I liked this blog very much. Nice one
.
Posted by Anji on April 21, 2010
Sometimes living miles away from London is really sucky. Mainly when good gigs are put on. However, I don’t feel I will miss out on this one so much, cos all the lovely people here will fill me in! So yay!
For some reason Mark tsk-ing in that blog made me want to giggle. Which luckily enough for fellow travellers on the bus I supressed! But I agree that we should all be impressed with ourselves first and then everyone else second!
Posted by Ben on April 21, 2010
I’d love to come to the fundraiser — I’ve been following the Soccermen blog as well. If I can’t make it, I will finally get round to buying one of the kits instead.
Posted by Misha on April 21, 2010
It’s still mostly, WALK! I SAID WALK NOT RUN GET HERE NOW! And things to that effect.
Even with the 6th form.
I’d love to come to the may show, but I suspect I won’t be able to afford (another) trip to London that month. Not to mention I do have several things planned for May, still, I can hope.
Posted by Rachael on April 21, 2010
This is probably the first time in my life I have broken any rules but if i was silent it would break my tysic so tough! Those advert women are ridiculous! and so are all the people in the bing adverts.