Mark'll fix it (possibly)
It’s time for the second challenge/competition/collective mission of our time together as a blog community, and once again, in the spirit of the 24 hour shows, I am going to offer someone a prize without a clear idea of how I’ll obtain or deliver it. Exciting!
You may remember that a few weeks ago I announced that I’d give an iPod to whoever made the best plea for it. The aim of this was to promote new-music-appreciation in the chilly world that dawned when the BBC axed 6Music, muttering as they did so ‘I’m feeling a lot of spite towards my face at the moment. Give me that surgeon’s knife, will you?’ After a lot of high-quality emotional jockeying, the MP3 player was won by Anna, and an enormously elaborate plan began to be hatched whereby it would be passed from one reader to another, traversing most of the British Isles, and being loaded up with music along the way, before eventually passing into the victor’s hands some time before the concept of music becomes obsolete.
The taskforce set up to orchestrate this grand venture of MP3-player-transportation are now almost ready to give instructions to the (amazing) 70 or so people who signed up, and tomorrow, I will be explaining in more detail how it’s going to work. Tomorrow will also see a round-up of people’s Ten Year Challenge progress, so if you haven’t written an update on the Forum recently, get down to it before tomorrow. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read some of the older blogs, but basically, I’m challenging all-comers to improve their lives/personalities over the next decade. It’s not too late to join in. If after reading all this other material you still have no idea what I’m talking about, we need to go back a few steps. I’m a stand-up comedian and writer. Um, Bristolian, Mock The Week. No, not the blonde one, unfortunately. Ah, OK. You want Mark Watson the java programmer. I would do another Google search.
So. New game.
This, like the MP3 thing, is partly motivated by a desire to give someone a kick-start in their quest for self-improvement – I’m aware, reading people’s updates, that it can be quite discouraging, and this is meant to be a team effort – but also partly by a desire to create some more chaotic fun.
The premise is loosely stolen from Brigstocke’s radio/TV show ‘I’ve Never Seen Star Wars’. Basically, we all have things we have surprisingly never done; gaps in our experience which ought to have been filled by now. To give some personal examples, I’ve never been to Alton Towers, never tried skiing or ridden a horse (I typed ‘hidden a horse’ there and in all honesty, I’ve not done that either.)
During past long shows I’ve asked this question of the audience and had some remarkable answers (never been to France, never seen snow) but with the constaints of a single show, it’s been hard to make many of them happen – although we did manage a few. With the no-holds-barred format of this 10-year blog, and the almost insane collaborative instincts of the people who read it, I feel we can more ambitious.
So. Tell me one thing you have always wanted to do, or feel you should have done. I’ll choose the best one and, as a group, we will try to make it happen.
For example, if it’s ‘never been to the Lake District’, we might arrange transport and someone who lives there to show you round. If it’s ‘never eaten pancakes’, it will be arranged. ‘Never owned a dog’, we will try to negotiate with whoever’s stopping you having one. And so on.
Rules:
-Unlike the MP3 challenge, more than one person could win, here, if there is more than one compelling entry.
-The winner won’t be the person with the most extravagant wish, necessarily, or the most humble one, but probably somewhere in between. E.g. ‘never been to Florida’ is probably asking too much. But ‘never played Hungry Hippos’ would leave people wondering why you haven’t, you know, just bought Hungry Hippos. Unless you can prove there is nobody who’ll play with you. So, in other words, we’re looking for something big enough to be fun to arrange, but small enough that it’s not impossible.
-Ideally, you should be able to furnish some sort of proof that you’ve never done it, so that it’s not just a case of someone quite fancying going to the seaside. But the proof could be as simple as ‘your solemn promise’.
-And also, ideally it should be something you genuinely have wanted to do for a long time, but been prevented by lack of funds/lack of opportunity/an enemy or ill-wisher/etc. Rather than something you’ve just never quite got round to. But then, we don’t know how many entries there will be. It could be that the standard isn’t that high, and you could win just by saying ‘I’d like to go in a dinghy, but, you know, can’t quite be arsed to sort it’.
-So, to summarise, we’re looking for the most poignant/most amusing/most heartfelt/most entertainingly challenging wish. And bonus points if in some way it ties in with your TYSIC. But it doesn’t have to.
OK, off you go. Usual system: post a Comment with your ‘I have never’. Or tweet me if you would like a greater deal of confidentiality. Good luck! Lines close in about a week, probably, unless there aren’t enough entries.
See you tomorrow. Oh, one more thing: on Friday it will be time for Round 3 of Can I Help You?, the amateur agony-aunt feature. To ask a question, find the last Can I Help You blog (last Tuesday) and, again, leave a Comment.
I’m getting closer and closer to serious delusions as to my importance in the world, here. But there you go. That’s blogs for you, I guess. And comedians. And men. Sorry about that.
Posted by Knox on May 10, 2011
hmmmm
there are a few things i’ve never done which are hugely too embarrassing to admit to here, and aren’t really things that can be granted just like that. and anyways, this whole thing is over now, so i’ll just jump to the next, just noting that it is another truly lovely mark-idea.
Posted by Inge Gammage on January 10, 2011
Liking your site over here, it’s well made lol.
Posted by Chris Stead on April 21, 2010
I have never enjoyed dancing. I’m patently bad at it and just don’t get it – it always feels like a complete waste of time. “Dance like no-ones watching you” – why – you still look like an idiot? Do people dance when they are on their own – I rather suspect not.
I’d love to get the pleasure that other people seem to derive from this seemingly banal activity.
I’d love to be able to hold a note – I believe I am tone deaf and a hopeless case – I don’t know if you can learn how to sing, but if so, I’d be willing to give it a go but would never have the courage to go to a singing lesson.
Posted by James on April 18, 2010
I have never done anything stupid and impulsive.
I have never been out with anyone.
I have never started a conversation with someone I don’t know.
I would also like to have a go at the Three Peaks challenge (climbing the 3 highest mountains in Britain in 24 hours) but need A) a group of people to do it with and B) someone to drive between the mountains. I do not claim to be fit enough to do this so I would probably also need some people to train with.
http://www.thethreepeakschallenge.co.uk/
Posted by Issey on April 18, 2010
I’ve always wanted to fly…..
Posted by Zoe Fell on April 18, 2010
So this year I turned 19 and realised with horror that I never learnt to ride a bike as a child. Not only have I never learnt to ride a bike, I have also never owned a bike. Not even one with a white wicker basket on the front and multi-coloured tassles on the handlebars.
I live on a rather large hill in Plymouth and our garden isn’t really suitable for a teenager to learn to cycle. Also, I don’t know how I’d go about learning to ride a bike, considering Mum and Dad don’t really have the time (or patience) to teach me.
I have put “Learn to ride a Bike” as a secondary TYSIC goal, but any help that you or the other TYSIC-ers can offer to make this happen would be awesome.
Posted by Natalie-Helen on April 17, 2010
KATY! (sorry for shouting but I hope it will get your attention)
Mark has recently proven that he has strong swimmers so perhaps your original I have never wouldn’t be too hard to solve >_<
Mrs Watson might object though.
^_^
x
Posted by Katie on April 17, 2010
This may sound strange, but I’ve never been on a picnic. I’ve always wanted to, and I’ve organised it a few times, but every time, my plans have fallen through. Maybe it was because of the weather, maybe people just thought “fuck it, no thank you”. But yeah, I’ve never been on a picnic, and I’d quite like to have one.
Posted by Zoe on April 17, 2010
I’ve been mulling it over and I’ve narrowed it down to three things.
1 I’ve never been part of a studio audience, live or otherwise.
2 I’ve never had my picture taken with somebody famous.
3 I’ve never held a monkey.
Maybe the three could be rolled into one challenge in some way (but probably not).
Posted by Rachel Winter on April 16, 2010
mine’s not amusing I’m afraid (or even related to the main bit of my 10 year challenge) but I’ve always wanted to live on a narrowboat.
short of suddenly finding £80,000 I can’t buy one, and not even sure how I’d go about renting one in the way you would a flat.
not even been on a boating holiday.
I’m not expecting you to buy me a narrowboat (!) I was thinking more on the lines of a taster of what it would be like. It always looks so romantic and amazing but I daresay the practicalities of it are not so glamourous.
maybe a group of us could do it for a day or so.
I don’t really know – like I say bit clueless how or where to start!
Posted by Emmy on April 15, 2010
Daniel – Yes, us crazy Fry-ers (ha!) should band together and somehow convince him to meet us. I like the way you think…
Posted by amycool on April 15, 2010
Emily – I just wrote on your latest blog entry! Don’t panic – I haven’t booked it or anything.
And I thought of a more impossible desire I have. To get Doctor Who to meet Lucifer Box (Mark Gatiss’ wonderful character). It would be amazing. Does anyone have Mark Gatiss’ e-mail address so I can encourage him to write a script?
Posted by rachel (pandora) on April 15, 2010
any girls who have are interested in make-up, i’d suggest good ol’ youtube. there’s tons of videos on there of people demonstrating all sorts of different ‘looks’, there’s lots of articles on websites and in magazines that can advise on what products and colours to go for. then its just practicing i think. for example, it was my new years resolution to master liquid eyeliner, which i have (just about) achieved. go for it!
Posted by Will on April 15, 2010
I’ve never fought crime. I’ve always wanted to however I live in Bristol where the majority of crime is down to survival not super villainy.
Posted by h2osarah on April 15, 2010
Well, I suppose I should add to this, although mine are travel-related and therefore unfeasible. However:
I’ve never lived outside my province – I grew up in the same house in Ottawa for 18 years, then moved 2 hours away to Kingston for the last nearly 6 years. But when I go home for the weekend, it’s back to that same house that I was born (and very likely conceived) in. I want to live somewhere that I can’t just ‘go home for the weekend’. Somewhere like the UK. Ideally I’d like to move over there once I finish my MSc. before I get a long-term job, a house or any real attachments in Canada. So yeah, if anyone can help me get a job, somewhere to live and/or a work visa in the UK, do get in touch.
I’ve never been to New York City, Ireland, Greece, Egypt or Australia. I have traveled a fair amount in my life, for that, I’m lucky. But New York City isn’t very far from where I live right now and the opportunity has never arose to go. The others are on a slightly longer-term basis. But I’m a bit of an archaeology nerd so Greece and Egypt are two major places of interest. If anyone has some money for a flight and/or a private jet and/or a house in any of these places that would be really excellent.
Those are the ones that most readily come to mind, but if I think of anything more do-able, I’ll post it.
Posted by Laura on April 15, 2010
Laurs – I was going to do that one but didn’t have the nerve in case I won and made a twat of myself!
I will say that I have never told one of my random celebrity crushes (of which there have been many) that I have a crush on them. So, Mark, I have a big fat crush on you. Haha! Done.
Posted by Marie on April 15, 2010
Daniel:
Sounds good! Let’s combine forces and ambush him! In a non-scary, non-stalkery kind of way…
Posted by Helen on April 15, 2010
Hello,
Well I read this yesterday and I kept trying to comment but I kept deleting it before posting because I felt it was a stupid thing to say but then I thought that is not a positive attitude (TYSIC) so I’m it writing now.
I solemnly swear that I have never done anything spontaneous. My issues are:
1. I can not drive. Am learning, but no where near to passing. Therefore, I need someone to drive me and this would need planning because they have a life too.
2. Confidence issues. I always think it will probably end badly. I’m not entirely sure spontaneity will lead to fun, it could lead to any number of disasters ranging from embaressment to my death.
Thing is, I’d just, for once, like to not worry about things and do something orginal and fun that I didn’t plan for. I don’t know if/how you can help me on this one but I thought I’d put it down anyway.
Thank You.
Oh and Daniel & co – Count me in on this meeting stephen fry thing, I love the man!
Posted by Emily on April 15, 2010
OK so, firstly – amycool: What I’m about to say absolutely terrifies me but I live near you when not at uni (don’t be scared that I know this, I just noticed that most of the places you mentioned in your most recent blog post are very near me – I meant to comment on it but never did, so I assumed you must live near too) and have thought about going to Go Ape in Buxton in the past. I’ve never really been an outdoors person but it does look good fun and the people I know that have gone loved it and now I don’t have anyone to go with. So erm, yes, I might be a willing volunteer. But like I said, saying that terrifies me as I’m pretty much just saying hey I’ll go somewhere I’ve never been with a person I’ve never met. It’s bad enough doing things with people I know.
I’m also one of those that has never learnt about make-up. I’ve previously mentioned I don’t get it and don’t see the point but I suppose it would be nice to be shown why it’s so great and that maybe I could actually look nice with it, I can’t even use mascara. The insanely pale skin/even the palest foundation being ten times too dark for me doesn’t help. But I don’t really care much, I’m happy being the pale make-up-less freak in the corner.
I have never taken part in a Mark Watson group project so I suppose I’m fixing that in this comment. I have never written a short comment either.
My actual “I have never” though would be I have never been to a gig of a well known band I like (part of my TYSIC to fix). I was going to go to an In Flames gig once but the tour was postponed and those friends later ditched me anyway. I am easily crushable as I’m small and the music I like is heavy/metal so that’s one thing that’s stopped me, and that I now have no friends that are also into that music, and it’s not cheap, and I always seem to be in the wrong bit of the UK whenever a gig I might be interested in is on. I’d love to see Coheed and Cambria or Trivium live but Coheed only have 3 UK dates soon, nowhere near me (why no Manchester date, really!?), and Trivium have recently finished a tour. Those two bands aren’t *so* heavy so I might not get *as* crushed, but it’s still a non-starter.
I’ll leave the mini-essay there and go and hide back in that corner of mine hoping the world won’t notice me.
Posted by amycool on April 15, 2010
I’m surprised (and relieved) at the number of ladies who don’t know how to wear make-up. Sadly, I can’t help you on that one as I seem to look worse with make-up on rather than better.
Thanks to TYSIC, lots of the things I have never done are going to be happening in the next decade or have already happened in the last few months.
There is one thing that I have been longing to do since I was a child though. Go on a climbing wall/adventure playground. My boyfriend is terrified of heights, and I don’t have any friends who want to go with me. There’s a Go Ape in Buxton that I have looked longingly at but going on my own wouldn’t be much fun. There’s one in Delamere forest too. I’ve always had a very strong urge to climb things and go very fast down things, whilst being safely harnessed.
I’m sure I could find the money but I just need a willing volunteer to come with me.
Posted by Louise on April 15, 2010
Two things:
1 I really want to: Go to an outdoors music festival (Leeds, Glastonbury etc) but they are too expensive and dont have anyone to go with.
2 I would like to go Go Karting: Always thought it looked fun but no one else seems to agree.
I’m not sure how you prove this except ‘I solemnly swear’.
I have a first this year though, I will be going to The Fringe for the first time ever. I have been up in Edinburgh a few times whilst its been on but never went to anything (I live in Glasgow). As my friend has moved to Edinburgh she is letting me stay at her flat for the first two weeks to go see some shows.
Posted by Daniel on April 15, 2010
Sorry Emmy, I meant Emmy not Emmie!
Posted by Daniel on April 15, 2010
Jackie, Emmie, Marie
Looks like there’s a fair few of us who want to meet Stephen Fry and have it as a TYSIC. We should combine efforts somehow – what do you think?
Daniel
Posted by Emmy on April 15, 2010
Hi Lex,
If found that it’s suprisingly easy to meet people in London despite the massive size of the city. There are tons and tons of clubs and groups and it’s a very friendly place. Some people might disagree, but I think so.
You mention that you perhaps want to get back into acting. Maybe an amateur dramatics group would work? Not done it myself, but I know there’s lots of them around.
But, yeah, don’t worry about meeting people and making friends when you get here. Find stuff to do, put yourself out there, and it will go well.
Posted by glamlovinkitty on April 15, 2010
I see a few folk are interested in getting tattoos. I’ve got loads, and have been getting them for almost 20 years, so would be able to impart some advice if this helps.
One thing I would say, if it’s the cost that’s putting you off, save up rather than go to someone cheaper. With tattoos, you very much get what you pay for. For a good tattooist you might have to wait 2 or 3 months (or longer) for an appointment, but I’d recommend that, also, rather than going to someone who’s got a gap straight away – if they can see you that quickly, there’s usually a reason.
Posted by Katy on April 15, 2010
My first though was I have never had a baby. Then I realised, whilst this is something I do want, its quite beyond the means of here!
So I did some proper thinking about this since and discussed it with my best mate in the pub last night. I think overall, I’ve been pretty lucky and have done quite a few things that I’ve wanted to do. The few that I can think of that I have never done but would love to (and I solemnly swear I’ve never done them) are: Meet the Reading football team, see a kitten in real life, eat lobster. A random collection.
Posted by helen (@iamanicelady) on April 15, 2010
i have never…
been to a wedding! which is a shame because I think I would look smashing in a hat, can mingle with the best of them and I really like cake. And I feel a practice run could be helpful in case I ever get married. Imagine the chaos of the first wedding you go to being your own… ‘i do’s’ in all the wrong places and everything. terrible.
also, if anyone’s I have never is piercing/tattoo related and you are midlands based, my sister (pandora/rachel) and I will happily escort you to a lovely studio in Birmingham when we make our bi-annual visit in a month or so. Nice staff, comfy sofas and proximity to Krispy Kreme afterwards (if you’ve never had one of those either, I shall insist on making it an ‘I have never’ double-header)
xx
Posted by Someone on April 15, 2010
Aw another pretty loverly plan of a blog, there. I have a job and many things to do atm so am too busy to read all the comments but just wanted to say I read a few and Lex, yours was v. larks; I can relate to pretty much all you said, so don’t regret posting :]. I nearly always regret posting ha.
I wasn’t going to say what I want to do, but really just incidentally I’ve never been to Edfringe and have reeally wanted to go for about 7 years (as well as Download fest, but I think that’s even more scary) but couldn’t, basically because of severe lack of funds. Therefore I think as many poor people on here as pos should hitch our way up there and sleep, safety in numbers, wherever we can find sleep. Probably not the most sensible or practicable plan, but there, i’ve said it.
Posted by lisa brunders on April 15, 2010
Another excelllent blog and fantastic idea, there are so many comments I fell asleep part-way through reading them last night, and I woke to even more!
I won’t be entering as I really can’t think of anything I’ve always wanted to do. I’m not really a wanter. And the things I do want I could afford to do, but it’s other things that hold me back. I would like a lap top, for instance, but that’s only since tysic to make it easier to type comments and to follow links, so it’s hardly “always wanted”! And I could afford one, it’s just that I sit at a PC all day at work, so don’t like the idea of sitting at one all night too. Although I may reconsider as I spend half the night on my mobile anyway!
But enough of all that. Looking forward to seeing your shortlist. And maybe I can help make something happen for someone.
Posted by Chaz on April 15, 2010
i’ve never so much as had a crush on somebody. okay, there was a guy on a train once but that was a fleeting glance. though i don’t suppose i can be helped. today i turned another year older, which marked another year gone by without romance. it’s sort of like Paperheart, though. & i see now that there are others like me here on the blog, so apparently we aren’t totally rare.
my problem is probably to do with introversion & idiosyncrasies. but also that i enjoy life best this way. when at the cinema or at a gig i like to really absorb the moment. so most times i go it alone, as it’s the only way to ensure no one will take me out of the moment. also, i can only keep a few friends at a time. i like my close-knit friendships & i can never seem to handle social networking online. but this kind of behaviour has provoked many friends, strangers & even teachers to ask me if i’m autistic. for real.
i haven’t posted my TYSI-Pledge yet ’cause i can’t commit to the goal. but i began a my own self-improvement challenge about a year ago and have been keeping personal stats.
good luck to everyone out there. especially, to Annie Hylands. i like the idea of giving her children the holiday experience she never had. holidays can be the greatest chlidhood memories. i was lucky as a kid. my parents took us on weekend roadtrips just on a whim. we drove for two days once just to see where the highway (‘motorway’) ended.
Posted by lex on April 15, 2010
hello hello hello.
Most of the stuff I haven’t done has to wait until I finally finish the next leg of my study, mid next year. Which will be something I have never done.
I am an English citizen who has never lived in London. But I am moving over next year after the whole honours lark. I’m slightly worried that it will be a bit lonely, because of / despite the population. Been trying to plan what area’s good to live in so that I can find my people. I’m thinking that whole sort of general area in the bit just north of the main city-ish bit.
So, the crux of that one c/would be that I have never made severely rad friends in London, and will be needing to do so next year.
I have never done stand up or been in a play (at least since my halcyon youth when that appeared to be where I was going). Which I’m bone-freezingly scared to do, but which I keep feeling would probably be quite character building if I could just grow some guts. Perhaps one to put on the list for London, as I think I’d need a reasonably anonymous audience and I’m not convinced that tiny (and getting tinier with every bloody year that passes) Auckland is the place for that.
I have never seen or read anything to do with Twilight. Although, I have to say, I’m good with that.
I have never been on a date with a person who I’ve had my eye on for twelve years. That one’s possibly a bit on the not going to happen side, cos it’s probably not healthy to go out with someone who you’ve sort of fancied for that long and it has been twelve years and I also kind of ook out over that sort thing in general. Also because nobody reading this blog can help me with that one and I’m sure as shit not going to help myself. Not even sure why I said it. This blog is like that person who just stays quiet and patient and to compensate for the expectant vibe you imagine you just ramble on and on until you’re talking about when you were seven and how much you hated those bit of jelly that coagulate to the sides of the bowl because you should be able to lick the bowl after jelly joy, but those semi-hard yet temptingly slimy bits make you retch.
So, you know, it’s ups and downs, ups and downs. Just sort of a general mish mash of done and haven’t and want and nah and yeah and also nah.
ps. I have never written a comment on a blog that I (in embarrassment and guilt over being such a diddle) didn’t wish I could go back and edit, seconds after pressing ‘submit comment’.
Posted by James on April 15, 2010
I pondered this one for a while…
I’m just coming to the end of a music degree and I’m terribly worried that I’m going to end up broke and jobless (naturally). I have busked in and around London both as a drummer and as an accordionist, but have never been noticed other than for ‘spare change.’ Recently, me and two music graduates have formed a band called Ze Trio. We play off the wall random songs in a folk-y style.
However, the singer is going to Berklee College of music in September and I might have to move back home as I have no-where to live next year. Being in the band is the first time in three years I’ve ever felt like a real musician and it would be such a shame if that were to phase out in a few months time. So…
I’ve always wanted to busk at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, however at the moment it is unfeasible due to travel costs/no where to stay etc…Mark, if you could help us with this, or anything else in London it could be the boost we need to make it in the music industry. Or at least it will make us very happy. We’ll even write a song about you. Anyway, here’s a youtube clip of us rehearsing Knights of Cydonia…(apologies about the slight mistakes)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LIe31i7wK0
Posted by Lally on April 15, 2010
I’ve never been hypnotized. Is it scary? Expensive? I feel like I’m plenty suggestible, and wonder whether it is something that would work for positive thinking or productivity? Or would I just sometimes make chicken noises without being aware of it?
Posted by rvdk on April 15, 2010
Oh, so many things.
I have never…
Had a hit single
had a bestseller
done a stand up routine
been to University
seen the Northern Lights (the Joanna Lumley show made the experience look like the best thing in the world. ever)
Scored the winner in a cup final
Acted (in anything, I think)
Actually gone to the TYSIC site
Looking at other posters, there’s a few of their things that I have done, so they could maybe borrow those memories? (Seeing Muse, going an a date, taken banned substances, stumbled across a movie being filmed on location, and some others).
I have also never been able to make a decision properly, so fixing that straight away, and picking one from the above list:
done a stand up routine.
Posted by Jackie on April 15, 2010
Wow, this is hard. There are a few I’ve nevers from other people that I would also like to do: meet Stephen Fry, see the Northern Lights; some I have done; and one I do regularly – nice though it can be walking the dog, picking up shit while trying to stop dog mauling another dog/standing in said shit/running into road is not the best fun I’ve had! For those who do want to try it out, The Dogs Trust welcomes volunteers.
Back to question in hand, one thing I would love to do, but have no idea how to arrange is photograph a famous person – not paparazzi style, a proper portrait. So, if you are famous and have never had a photo taken, maybe we can help each other out?
Posted by werwolf on April 15, 2010
I’ve never felt beautiful. As a little girl I would throw pennies into fountains and wishing wells and the only thing I ever wished for was to be beautiful. It may have been a silly, vain, pathetic little wish, but it was mine and it’s never come true. In the end I suppose it’s still silly and vain and I try not to let it bother me… but, if I’m honest, it still does.
Posted by A lot of Rach[a]els on April 15, 2010
This is a great idea and here are some I have nevers: (which others have mentioned, but nothing wrong with multiple ones)
- been told how to put make-up on.
- gotten the tattoo I want for ages. it’s of the angel off of One Hot Minute (RHCP album) as they were my fave band when my mum had cancer and I could just listen to them whilst my mum was on the mend and also people off their forum helped me through it (hence the Angel aspect). I’ve wanted this for ages but have fretted over the cost, no one to go with and what my mum and dad would say if they saw it.
- been on a date.
- asked someone out.
- owned the Lost boxset. I want to wait until the 6th season comes out but I’m pretty sure I still won’t buy it.
- been to Ireland. I’ve wanted to go for ages, apparently I went when I was a couple of months old and my cot broke but it can’t count as I can’t remember it.
- ridden a unicylce (it’s just something I wanted to do for ages) as well as juggling.
Most of those cover my TYSIC’s: travelling, fear of failure, confidence and my little mini one of not worrying about money.
Posted by Sam on April 15, 2010
I’ve never been to the North of England, yet alone Scotland.
I’ve never ridden the District Line.
I’ve never successfully flown a kite.
I’ve never had a full game of cricket (despite my love of the game, never had enough people, and at school they didn’t trust us to play it).
Like others, I’ve never been on a proper date, although more my own fault than anything else.
I’ve never shot a man in the face. (Or woman for that matter).
The last of those I’m not too interested in doing, although it would be an experience.
Posted by LisaD on April 15, 2010
It took me a while to think about this, not because I didn’t know the answer, but because I couldn’t think of a clever way to say this. Still can’t so I’m just gonna go with sincerity. I’ve never seen a Broadway play on Broadway (they same could be said of the West End, but I’m trying to keep this from being prohibitively expensive). I’ve dedicated my entire life to theater…which goes a long way toward explaining why I can’t afford the trip to NYC (although I have plenty of starving actor/waiter friends there with couches I can crash on) and a ticket to a play. The plays don’t usually tour that much, not with the regularity that the musicals do. One of my heroes, the late August Wilson, his best play is being revived. Loved it for years. Never seen it. Theater is the closest thing I have to a god and this morning my faith got rocked pretty badly. It would be nice to have a chance to remember why I love it as much as I do.
Posted by Laurs on April 14, 2010
I have never met Mark Watson. And I’d quite like to shake his hand and thank him for helping me to change some pretty important things in my life.
(I really hope this doesn’t come across as being a kiss ass, really not meant to be, but in truth, I was talking about this community at work today and my colleague commented how awesome it was that a group of virtual strangers are being brought together to do some wonderful things, just because of one man. I agreed completely and would love the chance to say it in person.)
Posted by Magnificent Josh on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been to a sports thing or walked a dog or even learned how to do makeup… that last one’s not surprising for a guy, but you haven’t met me. I’ve also never had ecstasy (in reference to yesterday’s discussion).
Anyway, I don’t care about them. I’ve never been served in a pub… 4 months till I’m 18 though so that’ll do.
I’ve never had a job. I’ve never… I dunno, I’ve done a lot of stuff, let me have a think.
Posted by Maddie on April 14, 2010
Ben, Tattoo Idea ‘Carpe Diem’.
x
Posted by @JillBonnFlip on April 14, 2010
This is a mindblowingly lovely idea and I’d like to get involved.
To Ben Draper and Misha – if you’re SURE you want a tattoo, bear in mind that one of the greatest tragedies associated with having tattoos is that most people pick them from the “flash” in the shop catalogues. When you meet other folks with the same one as you, it is more miffing than the “same frock” scenario, especially if they are a bastard.
To this end, I’m happy to design a tat for those that want them (within reason).
Miss Knee – If you get anywhere near making your film and need props, let me know, I will help any way that I can.
Gary Jones – If you are determined to start taking illegal substances at your age, I can supply you with recipes for tasty cakes. You will, needless to say, have to provide your own ingredients.
My “I have never” is I have never had enough Twitter followers to make it worthwhile tweeting.
For reasons best kept to myself, I rarely leave the house. I joined Twitter a couple of weeks ago, just to have some sort of input while I work. It’s all fine and fun but just following and not tweeting makes me feel like a voyeur. On the other hand, tweeting to my awesome total of eight followers feels pointless and foolish.
Posted by Anon on April 14, 2010
I’m going to post this anonymously as I feel it’s not in my best interest to leave my details.
After reading today’s post, my mind started to wonder; ‘Tell me one thing you have always wanted to do, or feel you should have done.’ Hmm…
Well I’d like to say go to New York or learn the Bass, but they’re not essential, just small things that will probably happen in the course of the next ten years. Then I started to thing about the things that I’d like to do that could benefit my life and make me happy. At first I thought about love or money. But then I realized, if I could do/have ANYTHING, that would genuinely benefit me over the next ten years, it would to not be gay.
Two months ago, I fell out with my mum cause I said I wanted to have children someday. A couple of weeks ago, someone wrote an open letter to the newspaper where I live talking about how being gay is wrong and stating that statistics show that a majority of homosexual men are pedophiles. A couple of days ago I was talking on the phone to someone about my boyfriend and two guys called me a faggot and spat at me (this was at 3pm on a Thursday).
It’s silly. I can’t do anything about it even though I know I don’t want to be gay, but at the same time I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m not in anyway camp, so don’t necessarily attract attention to myself. I’m genuinely stuck with it.
This isn’t really an entry for the competition, I just thought posting this anonymously was better than keeping it to myself. Some people will read this and think it’s some tool, vying for attention. I don’t mind. I’d likely think it too. Call it a step towards my TYSIC. x
Posted by Carl on April 14, 2010
There’s many things I’ve never done in life, but they’re all expensive treats I’m looking forward to and am happy to patiently wait for.
But there’s one thing that must be shared with Watsonia.
My girlfriend, Beth, (I think it should be added it is not fellow Watsonian, Beth, although I’m sure she is lovely) has never seen… Only Fools and Horses.
Now, there are plenty of both modern and old comedy shows that rank way above the show about the Trotters, but, c’mon, whether you like it or not, OFAH is a bit of a British institution (my goodness I hate that phrase).
Be it Del Boy falling through the bar, the chandelier crashing to the floor or Batman and Robin chasing the handbag snatcher up the road in Peckham.
I wish from the bottom of my heart that my Beth (I don’t mean “my” in a possessive term, just didn’t want to confuse her with OUR Beth) to get the chance to watch some of the best bits, be it alone, with me, or a group of beautiful TYSICers.
Seriously, she never even cracks a smile when I say: “mange tout Rodney, mange tout”. Please help her.
Posted by Anji on April 14, 2010
Wow, what an amazing idea!
I can see a group meet at Alton Towers – I don’t go in the rides but have been!
Up until 7 months ago I would have said a dog, but she is now on my lap as I post this. She’s avaliable for Walks anytime!
I can’t really think of anything at the moment, I think the idea has blown my mind a lite bit. But will look forward to seeing how we can all help and what happens!!
Posted by EllieCat on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been for a proper posh afternoon tea at a hotel.
Firstly and most importantly, there should be one of those multi-tiered silver stands replete with tiny cakes, jam and cream scones and crust-less sandwiches.
There should also be:
• Pots of tea and those jugs of hot water I never know what to do with
• Doilies, lots and lots of lacy paper doilies
• Snooty waiting staff wearing uniforms
• Suitably poncy surroundings e.g. potted palms and chandeliers
• Starched table linen
Posted by Kat on April 14, 2010
This is such a good idea!
For Megan and Emma: most department store make-up counters will give you lessons and for some that I have been to (I took my mom once because I didn’t want to go alone!) you don’t have to buy anything from them for it.
Although I usually end up wanting to…
Posted by Corey on April 14, 2010
Cheers Ben, v good idea!
Posted by Roger on April 14, 2010
I have never experienced hospitality at any kind of sporting event. Always wondered what all the fuss is about.
Posted by Simon on April 14, 2010
Mark, you’re quite a lot funnier than Russell Howard.
Posted by Emmy on April 14, 2010
I’ve never kissed someone on the embankment, in that little park that’s across the river from Saint Pauls, at night when the city is all lit up. I would really like to do that. With the right person.
That might be asking too much, so I’d like to add that I too have never met Stephen Fry. It would be my atheist version of meeting god. I would probably faint.
Posted by Lenneke on April 14, 2010
I love this idea of all joining efforts to help each other. There are many things I would like to accomplish, but number One is hosting a party.
I’ve never given a proper party (not including family birthday parties). Whenever I’m considering the possibility I get these horrible images of nobody turning up or only a handful of people coming. I moved a while ago and I have not even thrown a housewarming party yet.
Posted by Adele on April 14, 2010
One thing that I have never done is to go and see my Dad’s football team (Wolves, in case you were wondering) with him – just the two of us.
This is sad actually as I’m the only other person in the family that loves football, so the beautiful game has always been something that’s just for me and Dad.
Posted by Megan on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been married or lived with anyone. Does that count?
Probably not.
I’ve never been to a professional sporting event. The closest was when my whole school was taken to see the World Women’s Hockey Championship in about 1991. The arena was still half-empty. I haven’t supported a football team since the mid-1990s (and have barely watched anything outside of the Euro or World Cup since), but I still really wanted to go to a game when I was living in the UK. Didn’t happen. Was very intimidated to go alone and didn’t know many fans.
And, like Emma, I’ve never really learned how to make my face up. I can now (in my 30s) apply mascara somewhat successful, but beyond that and tinted lip gloss, I’m pretty baffled.
I’ve never seen REM live, even though I’ve wanted to for 20 years. I don’t think they are touring any time in the near future, though.
Posted by Ben Draper on April 14, 2010
Corey, most towns will have a dogs home somewhere in them, they will probably let you borrow one for a few hours. I did it once and it was a great afternoon. Have a look in your phonebook or on the internet.
Posted by Ben Draper on April 14, 2010
There are two things, one I came up with and one someone else mentioned that inspired me.
1) I have never been to a film premiere, even a rubbish one with Tom Cruise in it.. I spend most of my spare time watching films (up to 3 or 4 a day sometimes) and I am completely infatuated with the industry. I’ve never taken it upon myself to try to write or make my own film, though i have entertained the idea, largely because I don’t think I’d be very good at it. Who knows, maybe one day. The idea of going to a premiere though is one I have wanted to do for a while, not really because of the glitz and glamour of the thing, not even for the opportunity to meet celebrities (though that is appealing) but mainly because, for a couple of hours at least, I would be at the cutting edge of an industry I have admired most of my, so far, quite short life. This definitely falls into the category of “entertainingly challenging” but Mark, I reckon you could do it.
2) A tattoo. I’ve never had one because I can’t think of anything to get. I think I want a word or phrase, about 10 or so characters long that I would put on my arm in my distinctive handwriting. Any suggestions?
Posted by Helen on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been on a holiday that wasn’t in Britain. Even then we’ve only really ‘done’ England, we went to Wales once but that was a bit of a fluke cos we took the wrong exit on the motorway although we enjoyed watching my dad panic when he realised there was a toll bridge ahead. The furthest I’ve been from home is the Isle of Wight ): My parents have been promising we’ll go to France since about 2005 which hasn’t happened. Then last year they buggered off to Italy without me! :O So yeah trip abroad is definitely needed.
Posted by Emma on April 14, 2010
I have never stayed up successfully for 24 hours. I have done for like 22 hours, but I’ve never been up for a whole day and night,
By the way, this is me shamelessly trying to get you to do another 24 hour show. You could only do it for blog people, pleaaaaase?
Posted by Maddie on April 14, 2010
Right *gets out tiny violin* -
I have never been taken out to dinner to somewhere that isn’t Pizza Hut, McDonalds, KFC, Toby Carvery or Harvester. (Which are all fine and acceptable places to grab something to eat or have dinner.) But to actually wear something nice, go to a ‘posh’ restaurant and order things that you haven’t got a clue what they are because of some incredibly posh or foreign name is something I have never Ever done. I think my partner would argue that we don’t have enough money to afford to do something like that and travel would be required due to the sever lack of anywhere like that in our area. However, when it comes to getting spare parts for his drum-kits or recording equipment, or if there is a new video game out, we can always find the ‘spare cash’ for that. I think it’s just not his thing, (for Valentines day we had Maccy D’s), and whilst he is very much entitled feel that way, it’s not like I’m asking to do it every week,… just once in my life.
Just for the record I have also never been to Alton Towers / Thorp Park etc.. or played the Pictionary Game that comes in a box.
That’s me done, am happy to help in any way I can with enabling anyone else to do something they haven’t yet
Good Luck Everyone!
Posted by Martin on April 14, 2010
As a huge Liverpool FC fan I am embarrassed to say I have never been to Anfield for a game. Hopefully, I am going to see a game next season though.
Posted by Corey on April 14, 2010
There are plenty of things I haven’t done which I don’t want to do…..among the many are: watch the Harry Potter & The Lord Of The Rings films, kiss Ann Widdecombe and have a pint with Jim Davison, but it’s quite difficult to think of things which I have never done just because of opportunity???, but I do rather fancy taking a dog for a walk (not a euphemism) I’ve never done it, not got a dog and don’t really want one (I’ve heard they don’t get on with cats!?!?) but I do like them and don’t know anybody with one well enough to ask if I could borrow it!. Looks like fun!
Posted by glamlovinkitty on April 14, 2010
I have also never seen star wars/star trek/harry potter but I don’t want to, so please don’t make that happen.
I have never seen, but have long wanted to see, a Scottish Wildcat. I live in Scotland, it shouldn’t be that hard, but it is. I’ve gone to places where you might be able to see wildcats, but they’ve never once surfaced. Even in parks where you are supposed to go to see them. My OH believes they are fictitious. I must say I’m beginning to agree with him.
Posted by Laurs on April 14, 2010
I have never skydived and I really want to.
I wouldn’t mind doing it for charity but with most charities you have to raise a certain amount, and I’m always thinking that I wouldn’t raise enough. Another thing is, I’m quite scared of heights and dont really like flying..but hey, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger! (so..it will either kill me, or cure/help me with my fear..let’s hope for the latter). x
Posted by rachel (pandora) on April 14, 2010
Misha,
there’s a really nice piercing place in birmingham where i got this collection done – http://twitpic.com/15urbf – and i know my sister wants to visit there when she’s over in May/June, so we could always combine a group piercing trip with a potential MP3 handover…?
(i would normally tweet you this, but the ban is still in place, boo!)
Posted by Katie on April 14, 2010
I alternate between phases of thinking that life is complete and lovely, and phases of self-indulgent misery. Nearly everyday I say ‘I wish this would happen’ or ‘I wish I could do this’. But oddly, the first thing that comes to mind when I’m faced with this opportunity is about a friend…
A friend of mine has always wanted a dog. She’s a lovely girl, really responsible and caring, and she absolutely loves dogs. It’s been a dream of hers to have a nice canine companion for years. The problem is, there’s a rift between her and her stepmother. My friend says that there’s no reason why they couldn’t get, as some call it, a woofy dog. (To differentiate between the meowy kinds and the chirrupy kinds, I presume.)
I know these pleas are supposed to begin with ‘*I* have never’, but I really think my friend deserves this wish. It’s been so important to her for such a long time, and I know that it’s difficult to have a surly stepmother at home and your real father always away at work. I’m not exceedingly close to this friend of mine, but I know that she would be so happy to have a dog of her own, and she’s responsible enough to look after one.
I don’t want to widen the rift between her and her stepmother, but I’m sure there must be a way to reach some sort of compromise. She’s been hankering after this for so long, I feel she deserves a fluffy, tongue-lolling, tail-wagging friend of her own.
Posted by Anna Lowman on April 14, 2010
I have never… been to a live football match.
The idea of this is to tie it into my TYSIC of actually experiencing the thrill of live sport first hand (it’d better be thrilling, dammit), but it’s a football match that I’d really like to do in the short term. And, with my dad’s team in the league below and my mum’s in the league above (though it IS Burnley, so probably not for much longer) I’d kinda like it to be Doncaster v Bristol City (or Bristol City v Donny). It’d feel more special that way, I think – ‘neater’. The aesthetic value of these challenges is important to me….
The reason I’ve never done it is probably the fact that I didn’t really have any girl peers who gave a crap about football growing up, and when my Dad took his annual trip to Belle Vue/Keepmoat (hiding his Yeovil scarf as he stood amongst the Donny fans) he went with his friends, and I wanted him to just go have fun without worrying about me.
So it’s more a case of finding someone/some people who are up for it who: 1) I know 2) have been to football matches before, and 3) either actively like, or do not hate, either Bristol City or Doncaster Rovers.
—-
On a separate note, me and my brother used to sing along to the Jim’ll Fix It theme with “Jim’ll fix it for you, and you and you and bah bah bahhhh. Who the hell is bah bah bahhhh?”
Funny kids.
Posted by Miss Knee on April 14, 2010
I love this idea! I hope I can in some way be some help at some point in organising someone’s ‘I have never’. In fact that can be my ‘I have never’! I’ve never helped someone I’ve never met do something they’ve never done.
Though on a serious note… I’ve never had a short film made and entered into a festival! I don’t know enough people who’d be good resources for this sort of thing. So if anyone knows of someone who might be looking for a short film script about a boy and some bees (‘Ambrose’s Bees’ is the title) let me know. Plus I have to get a none student film made to get in to Screenwriting degree or any other kind of highly respected writing masters!
Posted by Sam on April 14, 2010
I have never…swam with dolphins. I’ve been on a few dolphin-spotting boat trips but never had any success despite the captain saything things along the lines of ‘that’s so surprising there were loads swimming around when we came out this morning/yesterday/last week’ Wanted to swim with them in the wild rather than at some aquarium or sea life centre. Guess there’s still time as I’m planning on going on lots more holidays before I die
So since I could probably make that happen myself at somepoint I do have another…
I have never….trashed a room. There’s a part of me that would like to go a bit mental smashing plates, pushing TVs off stands, kicking computers, ripping the stuffing out of cushions. I don’t know why really, I’m not a violent person and don’t have much of a temper, but it just appeals. The reason I’ve never done it is two fold: Firstly, I don’t want to trash my own place as I’d have to tidy it all up afterwards and replace broken items which kinda defeats the purpose. Secondly, I’d feel really bad if I trashed someone elses property (even if it was a hotel) and would probably offer to help tidy up and would no doubt have to pay for repairs/replacements. So a guilt and consequence free trash session would be ace!
Posted by Marie on April 14, 2010
Bristolian, eh?
I’ve a bit of a strange one. I’ve never made a famous person laugh. I’ve met quite a few celebrities over the past couple of years but it’s usually a quick ‘Hi, love your work. Can I have a photo?’ as opposed to a longer conversation.
I’m making this sound like I’ve got a massive repertoire of jokes prepared, just waiting for the right opportunity. Which, while it would be amusing in itself, I don’t.
(I’ve also never appeared on a TV gameshow, done a skydive, lived in Wales or met Stephen Fry… but I think making a famous person laugh is probably the most difficult for me to achieve without help)
Posted by stuart on April 14, 2010
Most of the things i have never done, are either outrageous, dangerously stupid, or just cause i dont really want to do them. Ive never paraglided, which is something i really want to do, but just keep putting off. Im definatly booking a go this year though as its only £150 for a taster day, What a bargain, really if when you were ten, someone told you, you could learn to fly for £150 you wouldnt believe it, you would have saved every penny to do that, proper dream come true stuff (for anyone who dreams of flying of course). Ive never lived in a another country, but thats just because i dont want to, i like this country, its weather mainly suits my mood. So on the basis that you have got to sort out which ever i have never you choose, i’ll give you an easy option, i have never watched an England World Cup match in a pub with a comedian and a group of like minded, blog reading people.
Posted by Dawn on April 14, 2010
“I have never”… At the age of 51 there are SO many things I have never done including driving a car, visiting Europe (I’ve been on a plane once to Melbourne Australia, 15 years ago), Visiting so many lovely British Seaside Resorts (We haven’t had a car for the past 15 years) etc etc…
However my one regret is never seeing my favourite band MUSE live in concert. A few years ago my 2 daughters saw MUSE at The Apollo, Manchester which is a brilliant venue. Unfortunately I was suffering with reallly bad panic attacks and it took me all my confidence just to leave the house, no way could I have gone to a packed concert.
These days i am a (tiny) bit more confident but it’s impossible to get tickets as MUSE are so popular so I’ll just have to hope that one day they will revert to playing smaller venues but unfortunately I don’t have age on my side!
Posted by Olga on April 14, 2010
I have never been to a comedy show. And I’ve always wanted to, what stops me is lack of money for tickets and no-one to go with (reason also being lack of money). And I never know when there’s a comedian near by, but that’s probably my fault. Thank you
Posted by Anna on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been to a convention.
I just can’t afford it; there are so many amazing cons in the states and I always hear about the exciting things people are planning, and it sucks that I’ll never get to go. I’m a geek, I’ve made my peace with that, now I want to go somewhere with furries and trekkies and browncoats and steampunk villains! And I want to buy gaming dice there.
That’s the dream, anyway.
Posted by Meg on April 14, 2010
I have never met a proper politician. I am 14 and really interested in politics so the election is fascinating for me! Loads of people at my school think I am really weird and say that is unnatural for a 14 year old to like politics but love it. It is my main ambition to be a political commentator or something similar at the BBC and I think I really need some experience of politics under my belt before that. I know it’s a bit early but this is something I’m genuinely interested in and would love to have an opportunity to meet someone directly involved in the election or something similar.
Posted by Beth (@Doomed1) on April 14, 2010
I had a think, and ive been pretty lucky! So i look forward to hopefully being able to help with one or a few of the nominations!! x
Posted by Will on April 14, 2010
I’ve always wanted to go onto a crowded tube with a bag full of cold custard, look like I have lots of money and wait for someone to try and steal something from the bag.
Posted by Misha on April 14, 2010
This is an interesting one, there’s plenty of things I’ve never done, never had a tattoo, never got around to have my ears pierced again things like that. But I intend to save up the money to get around to doing them.
I too have never been to alton towers or the lake district, but the first is because its not my thing and the second because it just hasn’t happened yet.
Incidentally if you ever decide to try horse riding I volunteer to lead you, i’m tall enough to keep up with the big horses and I’ve got past form from years spent helping out at my local riding stables. There are few sights funnier than blokes who’ve been bought along by their girlfriends panicking at the size of those horse.
(this is me playing for time, i’m struggling to think of things despite the number of things I’ve never done)
One thing I have never done (although not through lack of trying) is ridden on a beach. When I was little it always seemed a lovely romantic thing to do, but then I think when I was little i imagined it was somewhere you’d go out in a swimming costume and paddle in the water with the horse. In reality in england its something where you wrap up warm and freeze your arse off to do, but I’d still like to. So thats mine. I have never ridden a horse on a beach.
Posted by Katelils on April 14, 2010
I have never seen any of my favourite films on the big screen.
This is proabably because most of my all time favourites are old classics. For example my all time favourite film is Kind Hearts and Coronets. Not sure if you would really gain much more watching that on a big screen than on the telly, but I’d also settle for any classic film that I’m too young to have seen at the cinema.
Posted by Laura on April 14, 2010
I was quite tempted to write that I have never won anything, which is true but that seems a bit desperate.
I have never been to dance classes. I have wanted to for years (well, since Strictly first started) but, owing to my dance-phobic boyfriend, have never gone. Also, lack of confidence and lack of transport factor in here.
On the tying-it-in-with-my-TYSIC front, part of my TYSIC is to be less afraid of making an arse of myself/being shit at something, and more confident around people I don’t know. An opportunity could be arising here…
Good luck everyone!
Glad the font is back to normal, and I hope your arm is on the mend x
Posted by Annie Hylands on April 14, 2010
I’ve never been to Blackpool. I know!! But we never had money for holidays when I was a child, and now, a single mum with 3 kids and no car, I’ve never been further than Skegness with them (I’m from Nottingham). I’d love to ride the rollercoaster on the Pleasure beach, but in fairness I don’t really know what else is there, apart from an Eiffel Tower-alike.
Posted by Rachael on April 14, 2010
I have never… stayed at the Plaza hotel in New York city and ordered room service like kevin in home alone. might be abit hard to arrange though so failing that I have also never had a bruce bogtrotter (from matilda) style chocolate cake all to myself. preferably not cooked by that woman though please.
p.s. Don’t be sorry Mark!
Posted by rachel (pandora) on April 14, 2010
dear mark,
i have never been on a proper actual date. this fits in pretty well with my TYSIC challenge of ‘hunt for a nice boy’, as the not-so-nice boys aren’t really interested in dates, more inappropriate propositions in a bar. there’s no real proof of this, i could take a photo of myself looking lonely if that’ll help.
if you could be my cilla that would be FAB.
Posted by Laura on April 14, 2010
I’ve never actually seen Star Wars, or Star Trek, or The Matrix. I personally don’t think that’s very shocking, however my friends disagree.
I’ve also never been to the edinburgh festival, something I feel I really much change.
Posted by Louise Tinniswood on April 14, 2010
I’ve never done a stand-up comedy routine. I’ve been told by loads of people that I’m funny (and I’m fairly certain they mean in the ‘ha ha’ way not the ‘peculiar’ meaning of funny) but firstly I just wouldn’t know where to start putting a routine together and secondly the thought of doing it scares the crap out of me. May pluck up the courage before I die but it looks doubtful. Not sure bravery can be bought on e-bay x
Posted by Madeleine on April 14, 2010
Anouther tops idea! I wont be posting any kind of wish, because hopefully, due to my youth and new found enthusiasm for life (thanks Mark!) I will be able to get to do all the things I want to do but have not yet got around under my own steam. It’ll be very exciting to try and help other people though! Brilliant!
Posted by Kate W on April 14, 2010
Not wishing to sound like I have no dreams or ambitions left, but this is a surprisingly difficult challenge. Turns out I’ve done a lot of things I want to do. And that others (goIng to the Melbourne Conedy Festival, say) are within the scope of saving up and booking a ticket.
Nope; I’m at least temporarily stumped! Intrigued to see what other people come up with….
Posted by Daniel Woodrow on April 14, 2010
I have never stumbled across a movie being filmed on location somewhere. Friends have been in London and walked past shoots for Notting Hill, or Sherlock Holmes, or maybe seen the Harry Potter cast outside their offices or cafe, but not me. I haven’t even bumped into anyone famous on the tube, or passed them in the street.
It’s not that I am an obsessive celebrity fantasist, but I am useless at small talk and an anecdote about someone vaguely famous may help me at dinner parties and other social gatherings where I tend to be a passive observer.
Posted by Lauren on April 14, 2010
I have 2 horses, and your perfectly
welcome to come ride them if you’re ever in The West Midlands!
Lauren (a friend of @howlieT’s)
Posted by Steph on April 14, 2010
Wow, Jim’ll Fix It or what?! Can we dub it “Mark’ll Fix It?” Or because it’s a team effort ie the people of the Lake District organising a break for someone; Mark-and-the-rest-of-the-TYSIC-ers’ll Fix It”. Hmm, doesn’t have quite the same ring as Mark’ll…
Anyway, this is my solemn promise that I have never been to a live comedy event. Now, I guess I can owe this to the “lack of funds” excuse and also that my parents never have been ones for comedy post The Two Ronnies era.
It makes me so bloody jealous when I hear my friends (and their trendy parents) are off to see Bill Bailey, or Dara O’Briain or whoever. Please help me see some kind of live gig and by doing so forsake my parents’ dull modern comedic senses.
Posted by Vicus Scurra on April 14, 2010
I have never had anyone of note leave a comment on my blog. Something along the lines of “you odious, unfunny cunt” would be appreciated.
Posted by Gary Jones on April 14, 2010
I have never taken any banned substances, i dont like smoking or needles,
i am 49
Posted by Jane on April 14, 2010
I’ve never posted a comment on a celebrity’s blog before. Always seemed a bit stalkerish and I’m not delusional/ confident enough to think they’d be interested.
To help this happen I would need… oh, wait… Never mind. As you were.
Posted by Emma on April 14, 2010
I have never…had a makeover.
I never really learned how to do makeup, I suppose. Part of my problem is that I’m pale and freckly and so it’s hard to find a foundation or coverup that works. I can do eyeliner and mascara, and that’s it–liquid eyeliner leaves a black line on my eyeballs, I can never figure out how much is too much lipstick and where my lips end and what shade I should wear, have no clue what to do with my mid-length wavy hair, and as for eyeliner and blusher–oh, they’re like…magic. Magic that only special people can do.
I suppose as proof I could furnish a picture of myself.
What’s stopped me from having one? I guess I just got so embarrassed by lacking these ‘woman skills’ that I decided I liked going without it just fine. Makeup-less me is alright, I suppose, but I would like, just once, to look pretty.
Posted by Al Napp on April 14, 2010
I’ve never seen the northern lights, more specifically I’ve never taken my wife to see the Northern Lights, something I have promised and must execute in the next ten years. It is the usual combo of time and money, one or the other (or sometimes both) being in short supply