Another bullshit night in Suck City
One of my favourite book titles of recent years sums up the kind of evening I had last night, and explains why I have not blogged yet today. In short, I had a meeting about my career which was rather depressing. As a result of the meeting I’m having to slightly reassess where I am professionally, and what I can aspire to. I can’t go into the details because it isn’t fair on the people who work with me and who’ve already been embarrassed by my indelicate Tweeting. Writing negative things on Twitter is one of the things I’ve most regretted doing drunk, in a long list which also includes
-claiming to be a top tennis player (while in Adelaide, Australia, where I thought nobody would know any better);
-all sorts of takeaways;
-getting into an argument about Coldplay;
-getting into an argument about feminism;
-killing a man (that one’s a joke. OR IS IT?).
I’ve always set myself high standards and always been ambitious – and people have been equally ambitious on my behalf – throughout my time as a writer/comedian/human. Feeling that I’m failing to come up to those standards is as chastening as failure of any sort invariably is.
In a day of very little cheer – especially with the additional mood-crusher of having slept for about 14 minute in total, thanks to young Watson – I have tried to honour my ten-year pledge, to be more optimistic, by looking up other people’s challenges on the dedicated microsite (if I can use that phrase like someone who knows about computers. Anyway, it’s the TYSIC bit of the forum).
Sure enough it’s been a considerable source of positivity to see the pledges we made a few weeks ago beginning to bear their first fruit. Quite a few people have nothing really to report other than good intentions towards rebuilding a relationship, preliminary steps towards the beginning of a novel, frustrations in founding an urban farm (seriously!), but a lot of people are doing something. This is all very cheering and, added to the warm glow engendered by yesterday’s problem page, gives me confidence that this blog can spark good things in the world (not that my aim in starting it was anywhere near as lofty or presumptuous). Quite a lot of the missions people have set themselves don’t really owe anything to the blog – it’s more a case of the blog having anticipated something they were thinking of doing anyway – but it’s still ever so gratifying.
I’m now ‘following’ most of the people who’ve signed up on the site – if I’m not following you, it’ll probably be because you don’t have a proper picture and have evaded my awareness – and am enjoying myself very much. If you’re not already, it’s definitely worth doing a little regular update. If you’ve not even started a ten-year self-improvement challenge, or TYSIC, why not do it today. No question mark, as it was sort of rhetorical.
Pretty soon, I’ll do a proper blog focusing on some of the highlights of this tiny community of endeavour. For now, I shall just say well done/thank you everyone. And see you tomorrow in better spirits.
Posted by Knox on May 9, 2011
The one down thing about reading/commenting so ridiculously late is that things aren’t really relevant anymore. In this case, though, I’m thinking that’s a definite plus. I’m hoping things are positive right now, and you’re looking back at this wondering how it could have seemed quite so bad. You’re a brilliant human, Watson, as well as a fantastic writer and bloody funny, insightful, intelligent and thoughtful comedian.
And yeah, people are right – we are very attached.
Right, I must get to bed – the room/my head has started spinning – sleep deprivation is a foolish thing…
Posted by MusicalLottie on April 19, 2010
(@Kate, I’m an even worse blog reader … I thought I managed to catch up weekly but it seems I’m almost a fortnight late!)
Mark, I know this is an incredibly belated comment, but next time you’re having a bad day, come back and read all of the previous comments. [Well, except the one by Dave Fields, but I see that's been sorted.] You have inspired an incredible number of people – and I doubt that I’ve seen even the half of it – and it’s encouraging to know that you have bad days too. I’ve probably said something similar to this before, but it still holds true
*brings a belated hug to the party, so to speak*
Posted by Kate on April 9, 2010
I’m catching up on the last couple of days’ blogs, so have only just read this (bad blog reader). Glad you’re finding everyones’ updates cheering – there’s a really nice hive of activity feel starting to happen, even though lots of us haven’t achieved masses yet.
A thought about your depressing meeting. Being ambitious and setting yourself high standards is about the quality of what you do and the effort you put in, not other peoples’ response to it. Wonderful though it definitely is to be acclaimed and best-selling and prize-winning, not being those things isn’t failing.
There was a lovely moment on Twitter a while back when Robin Ince was quite disappointed about how some people reacted to the TV version of 9 Lessons & Carols, and Sam West replied with (words to the effect of) “You do the best work you can. How people respond to it is none of your affair.”. Easier said than done, I realise.
Posted by Jamie0S on April 9, 2010
I meant ‘can honestly say declaring my intention’ … hey I’m tired, leave me alone… you don’t exist.
Posted by Jamie0S on April 9, 2010
Yes, ‘seriously!’
The ‘something they were thinking of doing anyway’ bit has been something I’ve been mulling over lately, and whether I really fit in to all this.
But I can’t honestly say declaring my intention on here has dragged me through a very dark couple of weeks.
The fact I’ve kind of made a promise to all you people (even though I don’t know you even exist really) I didn’t run away to Scotland or just hide away under the duvet. It truly crossed my mind ‘well I said I would on that thing…’
So thanks for (perhaps) existing folks, and hopefully others are feeling a little pointy stick in their backs to do their own challenges. We are watching you!
(I’d love to update how things are actually going, but by the time I’d finished typing everything would have changed again… it’s been one of those weeks).
Posted by Gadey on April 9, 2010
I saw you at the Hen & Chickens recently for the first of your works in progress. I was surprised and touched by your level of nervousness, self-deprecation and humility whilst simultaneously engaging us all in your world.
I know many of the finest British comedians in history have had difficult times away from the glare of the stage, to compartmentalise things going on in your life must be very diffcult for some people.
Keep up the good work and try and focus on the positive responses from constructive people. The fact that the negative people so often retract their comments when challenged proves their opinions have little worth.
Posted by Glamlovinkitty on April 8, 2010
Whilst it might be no consolation, don’t forget that the McIntyres, Bishops and Bridges of this world might be becoming massively famous and popular – but frankly, in my opinion that’s happening for no good reason.
I’m sick of so many totally bland, lowest-common-denominator comedians becoming massive. I mean, Peter Kay? FFS. How the feck did that happen??
You, on the other hand – whilst perhaps not creaming it in to the same degree as them – are funnier, more talented and more original than they. Therefore, more deserving. Would you want to be massively popular and rich but have absolutely no credibility? Surely not?
I’ve even forgiven you for advertising a pear cider that vegetarians can’t drink.
Posted by DeborahF on April 8, 2010
I’m a bit late to the comments on this but initially I didn’t know what to say but I’ve been thinking about this for a little while as I recognise the (perhaps perfectionist) ambition of which you speak. When you watch your son sleeping (if he does this any time soon) – he has all the possibilities in the world ahead of him – right? Well so do you and don’t lose sight of that! Perhaps the ambitious vision you had in your mind isn’t quite working out as you expected, but who said it would? Life is too out of control for that. However, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to realise – it might just take you a bit longer and you might just need to take a different route to get there.
Now having had a really crap last 18 months at work myself – all I need to do is to listen to my own advice as well
Posted by Corey on April 8, 2010
It seems to me that you are just about to break through into the so called big time!?!. You seem to have alot more strings to your bow than the aforementioned Mcintyre etc, maybe its because you do alot of different things rather than concentrating on one that it seems like you’re not moving forward too much??
Anyway, your humour is ace and we all like what your doing so keep it up!!
Posted by Laura on April 8, 2010
That made me a little bit sad. I too have career issues at the moment so I feel for you. Still, you have made all the good people on here jolly happy recently, and as a direct result of you being awesome, many of us are taking huge steps to make our lives better (and, indirectly, the lives of everyone around us). That is a big achievement, and one not many can really lay claim to.
My TSYIC was solely to do with you inspiring me to make changes; without it I would have just plodded on being a bit miserable.
We all think you are pretty bloody great (and your list of things you have regretted doing while drunk is nowhere near as long and humiliating as mine).
x
Posted by Dean on April 8, 2010
While it always sucks to not get as far as you wanted and you have our sympathy I’m also going to point out:
1. You’re a very successful comic, especially given your age. Are you currently as successful as Gilbert/MacIntyre? No. Can you get there in five years time. Absolutely. My parents don’t ‘get’ stand-up really, but they saw you on that Gala thing and thought you were really good. You’re breaking through. It’ll take a while.
2. You can make a living doing stand-up. I’m guessing you enjoy it. Don’t underestimate that. You’re the envy of literally hundreds of open spots. Do remember that a lot of us have to sit in offices doing things that range from somewhat stimulating to boring as hell for 7 hours a day just to make ends meet.
Yeah, there’s always someone worse off than you and people are starving in Africa, but by any objective measure, you’re a success.
Posted by Dave Fields on April 8, 2010
I have just read your article on Yahoo about the new X Ray machines in airports. I wrote several derisory comments about you, the author of the piece. Now I know who you are I am doubly disappointed. I have seen you on many TV comedy programs and really enjoyed your satirical slightly twisted humour. I hadn’t actually realised that you were trying to be funny in this article though. I can only recommend that if you are tired or have no real opinion or humour to offer, do your career a favour and don’t write anything at all. Sorry chap.
Posted by Lydia on April 8, 2010
The only time you need to regret an argument about Coldplay is if you were the defense and in that case, drunk or not, it’s a ridiculous argument.
I’ve not got involved in your TYSIC, mainly because I am a ” never look on the brightside it will only lead to disappointment” type, I didn’t see the point in my starting something that I wouldn’t keep on with for longer than 30mins. Stay with me, I am heading to somewhere a little bit more positive. Since I’ve been reading your blog, I have found myself being a bit more positive (not all the time but definetly at least 3 times) not purposely it’s just sort of happened. For example yesterday I also had some crappy news, I might have to leave my lovely home in Cumbria to go and stay in Newcastle for medical care. This will be shitty McShitson but…. BUT Mark of the Watson’s, I found myself reassuring my husband that it could be a good thing, although not ideal it could be the best thing for our family in the future. This is a new, never happened in our relationship before event which I am holding you responsible for.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to suggest The Brewery Arts Centre in Kendal as a super venue and if you decide to visit us ( us the town, not us personally) at any point in the future a gig on a Saturday night would be ideal, for the purely selfish reason that Saturdays are the only day I have someone to mind the children. Thank you ever so muchly.
I’m sorry things don’t appear to be running smoothly at the moment, I’m also sorry for the huge amount of blah I’ve typed. You’re a pretty cool, likable,person who also has the ability to make people laugh and smile. That is a great thing, keep on doing what you are, it’s only a matter of time before the people who haven’t realised this do. Now I’m not a huggy, touchy feely person so I’ll offer you a friendly shoulder punch.
Be kind to yourself
Posted by Kate on April 8, 2010
You are brilliant and much loved by everyone on here. I am sure that tings will happen for you even if you don;t feel as though they are at the moment.
Big hugs!
Posted by amycool on April 8, 2010
“Quite a lot of the missions people have set themselves don’t really owe anything to the blog – it’s more a case of the blog having anticipated something they were thinking of doing anyway ”
Not so! I had pretty much convinced myself that gigs were too scary and not for me, that I had a broad enough selection of foods that I liked not to try any more, I had got bored of my top 100 book list, and I had no plans to learn anything new.
Today, I had planned a lazy day to recover from a horrendous few days at work. But then I remembered my “Become a runner” goal and the fact that I have publicly claimed that I shan’t succumb to the curse of April (I haven’t done any running in April for 4 years), and in about 30 minutes (need to let my breakfast digest a bit) I will be on my treadmill. 30 minutes later I will be feeling really happy and proud. That feeling wouldn’t be there if you hadn’t started this blog. That may seem insignificant to an onlooker, but I think it’s a huge amount of power.
I’m sorry you are feeling down at the moment but the amount of positivity (if I was on TV I would say “positive energy” but that would be scientifically inaccurate) that you have spread throughout our little community is amazing, and is sure to reflect back upon you.
Although in real life I probably wouldn’t hug you, I can comfortably send a cyber-hug to add to all of the others. It’s quite a manly one, like a bear hug, with pats on the back during. That or I’ll pat you on the shoulder and say “There, there” like Jemaine did to Murray when the tour went wrong (in Flight of the Conchords).
Lots of love from me, xxx
Posted by Glamlovinkitty on April 8, 2010
Sometimes a reassessment of one’s career can be a good thing. Sometimes you fall into a plan by accident and it carries you along, without giving you a chance to decide if you actually wanted it. An opportunity to reassess lets you think, did I even intend this?
On the few times we’ve met you seemed to be a nice person, and obviously I enjoy your comedy/books so I hope things work out the way you want them to.
Posted by Anna on April 8, 2010
I’ve got nothing useful to say, but I just wanted to join in with the group hug, and tell you that you are a lovely, lovely person. Thanks to you and the TYSIC I’m forcing myself to take a good, hard look at who I am, what I want, and how I can make myself a better person. You’ve possibly indirectly saved me years of therapy. Oh, and you were the best bit of the Comedy Gala.
By the way, baby sleep- we’ve now almost cracked sleeping through the night, so it does get better, eventually…You must be going through the 6 week growth spurt sometime around now, which is hellish, and does make you think the baby has been possessed. Just keep telling yourself ‘this too shall pass, this too shall pass…’
Posted by Chrissy on April 8, 2010
only people who are passionate about what they are doing feel like you do at the moment, people who throw their heart and soul into everything they do.
I truly hope that the good things will rise above the shit.
The TYSIC has really set me off on my journey. I honestly dont think that I would have made the decisions I am making without it. The thought of me going to college then to uni to fulfill my dreams of becoming a midwife was only a pipe dream, now it is actually happening and I really do have you to thank for that. chin up and big hugs all around.
Posted by h2osarah on April 8, 2010
I can’t say anything here that hasn’t already been said more eloquently. More *hugs* for you.
x
Sarah
Posted by Emmy on April 8, 2010
Awww… Mark, we all love you dearly. Whether you realize it or not, you have started something extraordinary. Everyone here has gotten so far already and the challenge has only been going a little over a month. To inspire people like that takes something. I don’t know what to call it, because it’s more than gumption, saner than madness, and much more than commitment. But whatever it is, it’s good and you’ve got bucketloads of it. I will repeat and add on to what I commented yesterday: You are magnificent, and don’t you dare forget it.
I add myself on to the massive group hug already occuring and also offer you a really nice hot chocolate. With whipped cream on top. And a cherry.
Posted by Elise on April 8, 2010
If it’s any consolation, reading about your day has made me feel better about my own terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. If you, who are brilliant (and anyone associated with We Need Answers goes in the ‘Automatically Brilliant for Life’ category in my book), are allowed days of self-doubt, then so am I. Tomorrow will be better, I know already.
Posted by Gilly on April 8, 2010
Look at it this way, Mark. You have thousands of people who are supporting you. You have created something wonderful, which has taken off in an insane (and completely fantastic) way. We are going to pass an mp3 player across several COUNTRIES. Unnecessarily. That is beautiful.
Good things will happen, if not today, then tomorrow. Be happy, because we all think you deserve it. Hopefully some of us can make you smile a fraction of the amount you make us do so.
- Gilly
[I am also going to actually start using my blogspot for this, so I can be followed (at the moment it's just lj and twitter). This is a big organizational step for me. This weekend. Go.]
Incidentally (my computer auto corrected that to indecently. I am pleased), if anyone can work out how to change the profile picture on the TYSIC forum, I would appreciate a heads up. I am currently some shiny lights, and would like people to be able to see that I am a person. With a face, and anything. Just plugging in a new jpg doesn’t seem to work on the settings page…. Help?
Posted by LisaD on April 8, 2010
It’s good to know that the TYSIC-ers have lifted your spirits a bit. Since it’s usually you lifting us it warms the cockles a bit (wherever they are and assuming girls have them) to know that this works in all directions. Optimism is way harder when times are rough. I’m really impressed with you for keeping up your commitment to it.
Posted by Jackiec on April 8, 2010
Chin up chuck! Life is a bit shit sometimes, but generally I find it balances out with the bloody brilliant days. So, in the words of a forgetful fish (3 yr old daughter has discovered Finding Nemo) ‘just keep swimming, just keep swimming…’
Posted by Meg on April 8, 2010
*hugs* I’ve been having a pretty shitty week too. It’ll turn out fine.
Posted by JoC on April 8, 2010
You’re doing a better job with this site than you can imagine Mark. I hope our positive comments (which are truthful, not indulgent) are helping you feel better and keep up your optimism challenge. I really do think you’re doing something great here, and all of us reading your blog are getting more out of it than seems likely. Having said that, it is lovely to hear that you also have tough days- I just wish I had the forum to share mine. Sharing always makes things better, so I hope it has worked for you.
Posted by Laura on April 7, 2010
I can just appreciate your blogs all the more now. I was starting to resent your cheery happy delightful mood in every blog so far!! Now it feels more down to earth, like you can write anything in your blogs and not feel it won’t entice us to continue reading your life!
So what I’m pretty much saying is, thanks for having a crappy day!!
Posted by Louise on April 7, 2010
We all love you Mark well as much as you can love someone whom you have never met before, hopefully you will feel better soon.
Posted by Christine on April 7, 2010
I didn’t wan’t to be comment 13. That is a bit absurd really, especially if I’m not after this posts!
Adding to the mental hugs here – and if you didn’t have days like this, you’d never be able to fully appreciate the good ones. You are turning out to be an inspiration to a lot of people so please don’t undervalue yourself. x
Posted by Sam on April 7, 2010
To be fair, if you had been constantly upbeat and cheery you wouldn’t have been a good human.
It’s through set backs and mistakes that we learn and grow.
Also now through the perils of drunk tweeting you have a good lesson to teach the little one, although tweeting will no doubt be obsolete by the time he becomes of age for you to teach him such a lesson.
I would add in a hug, but I don’t know you well enough, and so the thought of that scares me. There are only two people I can successfully hug, and even then it’s taken years, and they need to be really upset.
But wellwishes can be yours.
Posted by Spencer on April 7, 2010
Mark – It’s your ambition that makes you truly great! Please keep on thinking big!
One of my favourite quotes from Oscar Wilde: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars…”
It’s also inspiring to read that you’ve still committed to your TYISC even when you’re feeling low. Good work.
Posted by Carl on April 7, 2010
When I first read this I was kind of with Misha, I just wanted to hug you. Then I realised I’m a man so I wanted to spit and talk about breasts with you. Then I realised I’m not that kind of man, so consider this a pat on the back and ruffle of the hair. And just remember how much of an inspiration you’ve been to a lot of people since your 30th Birthday.
Posted by Helen on April 7, 2010
Oh I am sorry to hear today hasn’t been a good day for you. Anything I write here is going to now sound insincere, but I really do like this blog and if ever the man who speaks between programs on telly says ‘…with mark watson’ I think ‘oooh I’ll watch that’ and I am just generally a fan of your work. Ok that sounds all horribly soppy and slightly stalkerish but I don’t mean it to.
On the theme of things not going quite to plan, I once, while giving new parents a tour of my school, instead of saying ‘the school is predominately day’ (as in, not boarding) loudly announced ‘the school is predominately gay.’ The parents looked extremely shocked. Everyone I tell that story laughs so I thought maybe I’d just write it and it might make you smile a bit. x
Posted by Anna Lowman on April 7, 2010
And yes, BIG hug, you all-round ace person.
Posted by Anna Lowman on April 7, 2010
Sorry the meeting didn’t go as you wanted/expected – careers are an odd thing, because we measure ourselves by them to a massive extent, and yet, as far as I can tell, we often don’t have lots of control over it. It’s so much down to luck, chance meetings, random decisions you made at a relatively young age. Life’s not a meritocracy, much as we’d like it to be. Oh, I was meant to be cheering you up. Best thing to do I think, (and I’m musing out loud here, rather than presuming to give advice) is to be really proactive and really know what you’re great at, and what you enjoy.
Posted by Laurs on April 7, 2010
Really hope that you are feeling better about things soon, and even in the midst of a not pleasant time for you, you still find the time to post a blog which I always enjoy reading.
You’re a fabulous man Mr. Watson and don’t you forget it.
x
Posted by Natalie-Helen on April 7, 2010
I haven’t been able to get on to the TYSIC part yet due to easter weekend but hope to remedy that tonight!
Keep your chin I’m pretty sure that most of your fan forum would defend you to the death.
And my student loan comes in on the 19th April at which point I will be buying tickets for your tour ^_^ hope this small specific contribution to your success might make you feel a bit better!
^_^
x
Posted by Rachael on April 7, 2010
Today you have written, made me laugh and i dare say (as usual) been a good human so as far as I can see, you may just be failing at being a failure. I’m sure even top tennis players feel like failures sometimes, except Federer but we all know he’s not really human. Please feel better and be safe in the knowledge that we all think rather highly of you.
P.S. I will be buying the book and coming to the tour so thats at least one more person that Michelle Mcmanus probably gets at her concerts.
Posted by Misha on April 7, 2010
I don’t have anything useful to say here
Just a hug.
*hug*
(an imaginary one)
Posted by Anji on April 7, 2010
Damn right we’re attached!
Baby steps, sometimes the shitty days come before the sun breaks through and takes us into a direction we didn’t see before.
Your stuck with us for the next ten years no matter what….x
Posted by Maddie on April 7, 2010
Here here! We love you Mark! Smile because tomorrow is another day. Ice cream?
Posted by rachel (pandora) on April 7, 2010
also, the MP3 challenge planning is rolling along nicely. we have all the details of our participants, so we just need a bit of route planning, then we’re off! hope this cheers you up a bit too.
Posted by rachel (pandora) on April 7, 2010
chin up mark. the watsonians are very attached to you.
x