Can I help you? Can you help me?
Today I’m going to ask for a small amount of help – although it will be disguised as an opportunity - and, in exchange, I will offer help in return. After all, if you give a little love in this world, you get a lot more back (NB does not always happen).
So. Firstly, request. As you might be aware, I’m doing my damnedest to complete this blog every day. Every day ever for the next ten years. I’ve not yet decided what I’m going to do about holidays and such like, but at this early stage, about 30-odd days in, I’ve so far got an interrupted record. Admittedly, nothing to get excited about, but longer than most diaries probably last (ordinary people’s diaries, at least; not like that showoff, Pepys).
However, over the past few days I’ve at times come perilously close to losing my 100 percent record, thanks to the difficulty of being a father, which, if it were a computer game, would be one of those levels where you have to bash a massive thing with spikes on its back. (I’m basing my knowledge of computer games largely on Sonic The Hedgehog from the Master System in 1992, which might be a bit out of date, but there we are.) Exactly why I chose to take on this task at precisely the time I’m busier than ever in my life is a fair question, but actually, the former is related to the latter; it’s something to do with trying to reassure myself I am still productive, and also, tracking a pivotal decade in my life and blah blah blah.
So anyway. Look. Rather than the threat of missing one, here’s what I’m going to do. I am going to advertise the position of Emergency Blogger. Essentially, the successful candidate or candidates agrees/agree to do a blog, at very short notice, on my behalf, in the event that I’m unable to do it one day. This doesn’t quite feel like cheating, because it’s a bit like in the 24-hour-shows when I got someone like David O’Doherty to fill in while I went to the toilet. Even endurance records are allowed to include brief respite. And I’d rather the blog itself kept going with me on the sidelines for 24 hours, rather than disappearing for a day.
So. This job would suit anyone who is/wouldn’t mind being a blogger, or just wishes they could do a bit of writing now and then in what is a very supportive atmosphere. The Emergency Blog can be about any subject – it can either carry on something that’s been talked about before, or it could be something completely new. As long as you don’t hijack it to incite a holy war or post pictures of naked people, unless they’re highly sexy naked people.
But the one really important qualification is, I have to be able to get hold of you, by email, at very short notice and you need enough time on your hands that you could be relied upon to do it.
Please post your applications below. If you’re appointed, you might never ever be called on, or you might be in action tomorrow. It’s like being one of the people whose job it would have been to initiate evacuations in the event of nuclear conflict in the Cold War. I can’t think of the name. But you know the sort of thing I mean.
OK.
And now the reverse. A NEW BLOG FEATURE.
The other day I helped three people. I gave directions to a lost man, carried something for a woman, and cheered up another woman who was sad (I knew the last one a little bit; the other two were strangers). It gave me enormous satisfaction to do this. We all know that one of the best bits of doing Good Deeds is gratifying your own desire to be a good guy. And any time I’ve managed to lift someone’s mood, I’ve always felt like a champion. And there’s no doubt that one of the keys to my ten years of self-improvement is to make it fun.
So, I’m going to introduce this new feature called Can I Help You? It’s a cross between an agony aunt column and 63336, the people who supply the questions for We Need Answers. Essentially, you can ask me for help on any issue - logistical, emotional, or practical. Every now and again I will round them up and try to answer them all. I don’t know how often, so you’d be well advised not to ask anything too urgent, e.g. ‘how do I get out of this burning building?’ But it might suit anyone who has something that’s been on their mind for a bit.
I’m not presenting myself as any sort of authority on life, but a lot of this blog’s readers are 14-18, so if only by dint of being an awful lot older than you, I might be useful. Also, as with the long shows and other ventures on this blog, the idea is to create a community: so I’ll probably throw questions open to the house if I can’t offer anything useful. I’m always fascinated by the way a group of people will nearly always be able to solve pretty much anything. Even if they don’t solve it very well.
As with TYSICs and so on, you can remain anonymous (send me a tweet or something) and you can even submit things without leaving them as a Comment (again, we’ll sort it out on Twitter). Just to reassure you that this isn’t meant as some kind of attention stunt. Except in the sense that the whole blog is an attention stunt. But a well-meaning one.
OK. Apply for the blog job! Hit me with problems! Let’s go, people!
Posted by Knox on May 8, 2011
hmmm…. any advice on organising a charity comedy gig? seriously, any tips welcome!
Posted by lora on April 20, 2010
I only just realised I never commented on here offering my services as an emergency blogger, it may be a little too late now but the offer would remain
Posted by helen on April 5, 2010
i have a blog. and lots of opinions. and spare time on my hands. and really big hair.
but i digress…
Posted by Rabid Meat Consumption « German History & Russian Literature on April 2, 2010
[...] Hello readers, how are you today? Have you had a good week? You may or may not know about Mark Watson’s daily blog (what do you mean you don’t know? What kind of hideous heathen are you?) that he’s [...]
Posted by Rosie on April 1, 2010
I know it might be a bit late but I just thought of some help I need after an extremely embarrassing conversation with my mum- how do you stop your parents giving you the safe sex talk? Don’t they realise I know to use a condom?!
Posted by glamlovinkitty on April 1, 2010
Mark, I’m 38, and so a lot older than you. Is there anything I could answer for you?
)
Posted by John on April 1, 2010
I’d love to do some emergency blogging if the need arises – I’m shamefully glued to my BlackBerry at all times, usually so I can either tweet at you or update my own blog (currently with five followers, four of whom are mates – do check it out!). Thus, I’m both contactable and hopefully not too shit a blogger in the grand scheme of things.
AND I keep coming to your gigs and hassling you, as you may remember, so this would be something for me to not hassle you about. Which is nice.
Posted by Carl on March 31, 2010
Hey Mark,
Just thought of a problem you may be able to help me with.
I’ve recently started a new job in Southampton but have no where to live. I am staying with my girlfriend’s parents, who wonderfully offered to put me up for 4 weeks. But after that I’m on my own.
I was wondering if you could use your powers to hunt down any TYSICer in the same area who has a room to rent or, like me, is moving there or even has a friend in the city? I know it’s a long shot and I must sound incredibly creepy, but I promise I don’t hurt that many people (joke) and am a tidy house mate.
Anywho, thanks for what ever help anyone can provide.
Night night.
Posted by David Calder on March 31, 2010
I’d like to put my name down as backup Emergency Blogger as I have something to say but my current travel journal is not really the right forum to say it. I say backup because as I am on the road I can’t be assured to respond by email very quickly (certainly not within 24hrs).
Posted by Laura on March 31, 2010
Dear Deidre,
How can I convince my better half that, after 10 years together, it really is about time we should at least talk about getting married? I don’t mean him grunting a response at me when I mention hog roasts and how nobody will be allowed ketchup at our reception, but a proper conversation which might result in him at least agreeing to think about a date at some point in the future. I have already chosen my dress, damn it! And we’re thirty – it seems like a good age to do that sort of thing.
It really is very dispiriting when people who are younger than you start getting hitched, and you have to pretend to laugh when all those bloody relatives keep saying, ‘Ooh, it will be you next’, or ‘Get married before I die’.
Thanks!
Posted by Lauren on March 31, 2010
Sorry if this posts more than once, I keep pressing submit and it keeps not coming up. Tried four times yesterday. If the time difference of living in Australia isn’t a problem, here’s my emergency blog application:
I’m a Professional Writing & Editing student. I started my blog a few weeks back as a way to push through writer’s block. So far I’ve been doing one a week, taking on world issues like the advances in technology, career prospects, and who’s better out of Superman and Batman (no need to thank me). The most recent one and the first one are a bit shite, but I’m happy with the other two.
Posted by Rose on March 31, 2010
I would very much like to emergency blog for you, Mark. There are a couple of reasons:
1. I am unemployed and have been for some time. I am therefore generally available at short notice, and really having any sense of purpose at all is good for me.
2. I write a cookery blog (http://horrorkitchen.blogspot.com) and would enjoy not writing about food for a change. Except probably my first post here would be about cake because I would be nervous and it’s probably best to write what you know it that situation.
To sum up, I am reliable and offer cake. Thank you.
Posted by Louise on March 30, 2010
I have not so much a question but a request for tips on how to get over public speaking nervousness. My course consists of lots of presentations and I really dread them. Weirdly I get told that I came across as very confident, this might be because I learned to project my voice via ten years of drama classes but inside I feel sick, shaky and I feel like my face is on fire, I also speak very quickly which tends to end up on me stumbling through a couple of words or my mouth becoming very dry. Is there any way to combat these nerves which doesnt involve getting steaming beforehand? I have my law moot and criminal justice presentation in two weeks and a psychology presentation two weeks after that. I won’t apply for emergence blogger I have fallen behind in mine because I have too much coursework due. Many thanks x
Posted by lisa brunders on March 30, 2010
Evening Mark,
I hate to bring it up, but it’s quarter past eleven – pm and still no blog today! I know I keep saying I won’t fret, but I am!
Posted by Magnificent Josh on March 30, 2010
I realised I suggested a pool of bloggers without saying I wanted to be in it.
Well I do
I write blogs, my sister really likes them, well, she’s only read one of them, but they’re written the same.
I don’t see how anyone could be better qualified…
Posted by Maddie on March 30, 2010
I too would be happy to be ‘on call’ for any emergency blogging. Some people seem to have provided some good ‘CV’s’ for the position,and whilst my application may not be as extensive as some, here are some skills of mine that I feel fit the job requirements: -
- I am a student, so have plentyfull free time.
- As a result of my current ‘employment status’, I have irregular sleeping patterns and am happy to be contacted at anytime of day or night.
- I am quite creative and often have some rather random outbursts/ideas, of which I would be happy to share.
Other than that I would just say that I’m pretty average and happy to help where/whenever possible.
Question :-
Why do I want to hurt / damage the nearest thing whenever I see, hear or am reminded of John Mccririck??
Posted by Rachael on March 30, 2010
@Hannah We might eat some of them but they put alot of them into little gas chambers when they are chicks to kill them, then they are used to feed snakes and birds of prey.
I realised that my earlier post might make it sound like i’m not nominating myself as emergency blogger because I think others would do it better, to clarify I want to do it inspite of that.
AND @mark, this isn’t to be creepy but since you dreamt about Paul Merton I will mention it. I dreamt that for some unknown reason you entrusted me to look after the baby but when you came back you found me riding an elephant whilst holding the baby and you got really angry. Weirdly, I have felt abit guilty about it all day.
Posted by Heather Jones on March 30, 2010
Hi Mark, I have to post a comment, just cos I don’t want to be left out of the fun of this new ‘timeshare’ approach to your blog, but here’s the thing: I’m asking for a gap year (or 2 or 3) before you consider me for emergency blogger duties (if at all).
As others have said, it’s not as if you need yet more applicants, but depending on how you decide to arrange things, you may be looking for fresh people on down the line – and if so, I’m your woman!
The reason I can’t offer now is that one of my TYSICs is to nurture my relationship with my husband more – and he’s already getting cheesed off with the amount of time I’m on my laptop, tweeting, blogging, TYSIC-ing etc. Don’t want to make matters worse! It wouldn’t be so much the time needed to write a suitable ‘cover-blog’ (I only work part-time), more the ‘on call’ aspect. Oh, and in case you’ve spotted the logical inconsistency (ie how come this won’t be a problem in a few years time), well, I’m optimistically assuming that I will have bolstered our relationship sufficiently by then to risk it.
In support of my (deferred) application, I can’t really say anything terribly persuasive, so here are some random ingratiating things instead:
- I am 47, so represent the older end of your TYSIC-ers, and this might be an interesting viewpoint to include in the mix
- Like you, I am a Cambridge graduate (Eng Lit), so can string together a few words – in theory anyway
- Like you, I am a parent (albeit of teenage sons)
- Like you, I am married (20 years and counting)
- Like you, I live in London (West in my case)
- Like you, I have welsh relatives (my husband & his family)
- Like you, I like Tim Minchin (although I can’t claim him as a personal friend, sadly)
-Like you, I am used to performing on stage in comedic fashion (although in my case mainly in pantomimes, and only as an amateur)
- Like you, I struggle with my self-image/self-belief and tend to be a perfectionist, picking out the negative aspects of whatever I do – so like you, I am working on being more positive and optimistic.
Errr….can’t think of anything else (good job this isn’t a football related blog, mind you, or I might have had to lie!)
Oh, one more thing:
- I would be delighted to be asked but not devastated if NOT called upon (an understudy may hanker for the lead actor to need a night off, but has to be able to live with the strong possibility of never getting to perform): I would suggest that you consider choosing emergency back-ups who won’t be desperately disappointed if months and months go by without them ever being called up!
Maybe you could have a rota, with different people ‘on call’ for (say) a month each. It depends how inclusive you want to be – a small number would probably be easier for you to manage, without it becoming a burden rather than a help. But perhaps, for each set period you could have both a ‘Cover 1 ‘ person and a 2nd as ‘Cover 2′ in case you can’t reach the 1st one quickly enough. Or, if being ‘on call’ isn’t such a strain for people as I’m imagining it would be for me, Covers could just carry on until they eventually do get called up (and then you could move on to someone else?)
I’ll be fascinated to read your reaction to this deluge of applications and how you decide to arrange things
Posted by Hannah on March 30, 2010
Not really a PROBLEM, but my friends and I have been discussing/arguing over this for ages, and no one can shed any light on the matter. So.
Are the chickens we eat roosters? It seems wrong somehow. But hens need to be kept for eggs, surely, and roosters must be born quite a lot, and not needed.
So what do you think? I dont think you’re some kind of chicken-fancier or anything, but you might have come across the answer at some point.
Posted by Hilary Wardle on March 30, 2010
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would be greatly appreciative if you would consider me for the post of Emergency Blog Stand-In Person. I have literally dozens of blog posts to my name, also I can spell ‘dyslexia’, ‘coruscating’, ‘pixellated’ and transubstantiation’ almost entirely correctly and I am an expert on many topics. Ok, that last claim was a lie. But I can pretty much turn anything into a blog. To prove myself, I picked the top trending topic on UK Twitter (which, unfortunately at the time was ‘Hotpoint WIXXE127′) and wrote the following:
http://ladyribenaberet.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/hotpoint-wixxe127-1-in-the-twitter-trending-topic-series/
Yours sincerely,
Miss H. Wardle (@Hilary_W on Twitter)
Posted by Tom Beasley on March 30, 2010
I would love to apply for the position of emergency blogger.
I like to think I am a reasonably good writer and I have been blogging for several years, as well as writing a regular monthly magazine column which goes out to around 40,000 homes each month. Also, I operate as a freelance writer, getting paid for various writing jobs.
As a lonely teenage nerd, I am at my computer almost all day/evening and my email checks itself automatically, alerting me when I get anything new. This means that, provided I am at my computer, you are likely to get email replies within minutes. At weekends, I am also up until stupid o’clock, so time frames aren’t an issue.
In addition to this stuff, I like to think that as a teenager who is good at writing, I would provide a unique perspective to your blog without diminishing the quality of the content at all.
I hope you consider me for the chance to be your stand-in as I would love to fill in for you in the few times when your baby is making too much noise for you to simply keep tapping away on the keyboard.
Thanks,
Tom
Posted by Helen on March 30, 2010
Hello. I would love to be emergency blogger, and I think I’d be a reasonable choice because:
* I can type.
* I would be terrible in a life-in-danger emergency. Firstly, 17years ago, when I was an embryo, I made a slight cock up re: my genes. I’m not sure why, think I missed the email. As a result of this I’m not strong and my spine has similarities with my sense of humour. (twisted). Secondly, I think I’d freak out and panic the injured person even more. But this…I could be finally used in an emergent situation!
(I’m really not looking for sympathy or anything and I am perfectly capable and stuff – I can walk normally, not in any pain, don’t have life threatening condition. The above should be read with a light-hearted tone, I do have this condition, but it’s fine and I think it’s awful if you can’t laugh at yourself)
* I always am near a computer
*I have an email inbox that is never anywhere near to being full.
*It would be really fun.
I feel other people are most probably more qualified to fulfil this role than me so not expecting to be picked, but I reckon it’d be quite enjoyable. x
Posted by max on March 30, 2010
Those are two brilliant ideas.
Also, I’m turning 28 today. Extremely jealous of all you 20 year olds out there.
Posted by Sarah on March 30, 2010
Hello
Really like the idea of ‘Can I Help You?’ and I hope the answer is yes… My question is TYSIC related – I’m trying to learn the elusive art of putting myself in a good mood – and what I’d like to know, is what you do to cheer yourself up. Simples.
Thank you lots – and if anyone else can tell me what they do to turn a silly bad mood into sunshine & light & stuff, please comment on my blog at http://www.tenyeargoodmood.blogspot.com … I’m about to post an appeal for suggestions. Thanks!
Posted by Madeleine on March 30, 2010
I’ve just read over the other posts an want to contribute some advice to Kate Re: vegetarianism.
I’m a vegan at the moment, but I was a vegetarian for years first and it really is one of the best things I ever did. I’ll try not to shove the reasons down your throat but long story short you’re not contributing to animal cruelty and you greatly reduce your carbon footprint.
I would say maybe go off red meat first, thats what most people do and then when your good with that cut out fish and chicken as well, try integrating meat alternatives into your diet as well, I assume you guys have all the lentil, tofu and soy (god, that all sounds horribly boring, i swear they’re not) products that we do in Australia and most of these are delicious.
Family issues are anouther thing, but most people who are vocal against vegetarians are just threatened because they know deep down that maybe what they’re doing is wrong. Just reassure them that just because you’ve chosen not eat meat, doesn’t mean you’re trying to tell them to do the same, its a totally personal thing.
I don’t know if that helped, but this is an important issue for me and I wanted to give you some little bit of guidance.
Posted by James on March 30, 2010
Hello Mark,
Here’s three reasons why I should be chosen for emergency blogger:
1. I’m coming to the end of a music degree and need the experience before I enter the vast gap between being a professional musician and being homeless. Most likely the latter.
2. I’ve seen and done so many things, mostly in the pursuit of ending boredom. This results in a bottomless pit of things I can blog about.
3. I can spin fire.
Lovely stuff.
James
Posted by rvdk on March 30, 2010
Another offer for blogging services.
Never far from computer.
As others have suggested, a team ready to go may be a good idea.
Or even just posts pre-written and ready to go?
Posted by lisa brunders on March 30, 2010
Excellent idea. It’s not right you feeling pressured to write every day, but I do get anxious when you’re late!
Glad you’ve had lots of volunteers, I’m not up to the job, and hate commitment, but wouldn’t like to leave you without a back up, but I can see that’s not an issue.
Posted by Madeleine on March 30, 2010
Two fantastic ideas! though I won’t beseige you with any agony aunt questions just yet, its helpful to know there is now a platform if any come up.
I would also like to throw my hat in the ring (which at this point is very full of hats so I’ll keep my reasons short) for being one of your emergency bloggers.
– I really love writing, but have never done a blog myself (well, I did, but then I deleted it the next day because it was “the biggest pile of shit in the history of the written word”). I think that writing for you would also make me do my very best work as well, as I certainly wouldn’t want to let you down.
– It would give me something to think about. I go to highschool and work in a supermarket which is the most boring job in the world (for the last week I have been occcupying my thoughts with trying to work out whether Thom Yorke is saying “alive” or “allowed” in Idioteque – maybe that could be a question for you). Devising possible blog posts may stop me from snapping and killing everyone in the shop, just to break the monotony (yes Mark, by not picking me you are putting many innocent people in danger).
- I have a lot of spare time… like, heaps.
So yes, I would love to write a blog for you, but if you pick someone who is a bit more interesting and has a better (any) grasp of spelling and grammer, I’ll be content with continuing to write short essays in the comments.
Posted by Lally on March 30, 2010
I love the idea of Can I Help You, and am overwhelmed with gratitude.
Have copied “I’m always fascinated by the way a group of people will nearly always be able to solve pretty much anything. Even if they don’t solve it very well.”
and
“After all, if you give a little love in this world, you get a lot more back (NB does not always happen).”
to reflect upon as Deeply Meaningful Keys to Life.
Posted by James Walker on March 30, 2010
I would love to be an emergency blogger. I blog relatively often, and sometimes on topics that are suggested to me minutes beforehand. I think I would do an okay job, and I’m free quite a lot of the time. Also, one of my TYSIC challenges is to improve my writing, and being an emergency blogger would be great for getting feedback etc.; that is if you ever need one of course.
So yes, I’d like to do that (if the opportunity ever arises.)
Posted by Spencer on March 29, 2010
Hi Mark,
I would love to apply for the post of emergency blogger, however I feel that because I didn’t stick my name down for a TYSIC, it’s only fair that I should abstain as there are plenty of aspiring writers within your ranks already.
Crikey, how pretentious do I sound in that last sentence? It was meant to sound generous and perform some kind of reverse psychology shizzle on you, but reading it back, instead I begin to wonder if it comes across as arrogant. I’m even wondering why I wrote it in the first place if I didn’t think it was in me to get the job. If it really was my intention to selflessly allow someone else to get the position, then why post at all?
And herein lies my “can I help you” problem:
In the last 9 months I’ve thrown myself into two new projects, a comedy act (and blogging about the journey of said act) and writing a novel (draft 2 complete). (I didn’t set myself a TYSIC about these two things because I was already doing them.) I’m not arrogant enough to think that success in either field will be handed to me on a plate – or even to assume that I will be successful at all – but I’ve read enough advice to realise that you’ve got to continue to believe in yourself, and work hard, when the knocks repeatedly come in. How does one maintain that self-belief without looking like an arrogant prick?
This does worry me; particularly when I tweet, or when I write a blog about a gig. And my fear then, and right now for that matter, is that I’m misrepresenting myself. I never want to be the guy who looks like he’s blaming someone else when things go badly, or bigging myself up too much when it’s going well. I always…always..hover over the ‘Post’ button, the ‘Tweet’ button, and I’m sure I will here too over the ‘Submit Comment’ in a few minutes. (And yet one thing I’m proud of is that I never allow myself to not go ahead with it.)
You’ve achieved success in the two fields I’m pursuing, (and let me just say now because I’ve not done it anywhere else publicly yet, that your recent blogs for aspiring stand-ups and writers I’ve found truly inspiring – thank you for that) and yet you always come across as down to Earth. Each of these aspirations for me, livelihoods for you, essentially say to people: “Hello – please like me and what I offer.” Do you ever have the same worry about mis-representing yourself?
If I’m understanding your TYSIC right then I guess that you must do. But despite this you’re putting youself out there. Every – Single – Day. (Don’t forget, super-sub here ready and waiting!) Therefore, a blog on how you achieve this is how you could help me. (Crikey, did I really write that super-sub line?)
[Hovers over 'Submit Comment' button...]
Posted by MrMatt on March 29, 2010
I would like to join the many volunteers for emergency blogger. I can waffle at the best of times, often typing the first thing that will come into my head. So for moments of off the top of the head nonsense I’ be available. Most days after say 6O’clock.
As for help. Well advise on how to actually stick to things (writing projects) and not editing oneself into oblivion would be most appreciated.
Posted by Carl on March 29, 2010
Hey Mark
Delicious idea. I’ve just got myself a new adult job and would love a platform to discuss the trials and tribulations of…well, making tea. I like to think I can turn a phrase and would always be on hand if needed.
I already have a blog that talks about leaving Uni for my local paper, but I’d love an audience who doesn’t consist of purely my local community (as a Bristol fan I’m sure you have just as much disdain for Swindon as I have gained from living their for 23 years). So, I totally understand if it goes to someone else more deserving as I already have a place for nattering.
I was thinking though, maybe you could have a relatively long short list that you can email when you need someone to fill in for you, and the first one to reply gets the honour? But that’s clearly just me finding a way to wriggle my way in to the mix.
I’m fully confident however that whom ever is selected would do a grand job. The handful of TYSICers I’ve had the privilege of getting to know are a smashing bunch and have confirmed that niceness truly does breed niceness (don’t worry, I was sick too as I read that back).
x
p.s. I apologise for my lack of commenting on your blogs (not that you’ve got time to make a tally of everyone) but as I mentioned, I’ve started a new job and just moved to Southampton. It’s not quite a baby, but there is shit everywhere.
I’ve read everyone you’ve posted though, so am still a proud lifer and have fulfilled my TYSIC duties.
In brief: I’ve written a chapter, sent my girlfriend (Beth) my iPod (as I purchased an iPhone) in the post filled with her favourite songs as suggested by a poster during my iPod challenge nomination, I’m smiling at strangers, I drank a black coffee (and had a face like a pooing dog) and the new music I found is this chap:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEi_SPmLXdg
Night night
Posted by Jorik on March 29, 2010
Well, seeing as so many had applied, I clicked away this blog five minutes ago. But then I reconsidered.
The thing is, I’m currently writing material to do some stand-up gigs for when I’m in the UK, and to try out some longer stuff/stories or even gags would be great (even though it was true, the responses I got off the iPod-story were wonderful). I could also provide the British internet men and women with a specifically Dutch view of their (or this, whatever is more interesting that day) nation. So, mail me if you need to.
Jorik
Posted by Lynsey on March 29, 2010
I would be interested in being your emergency blogger. I keep a blog myself and can often be found at the computer adding -or at the very least trying to add to it in the evening when I get home from work (yes my life is that exciting). I write about whatever I feel like, be it a review or a rant. My posts don’t always turn out great (in my opinion) but I enjoy writing them.
Posted by Alice on March 29, 2010
Hi Mark,
I’d like to apply for the post of emergency blogger. I’m an actor so most of the things I’d be writing about would be the endless search for work or whatever strange job I have at the time.
I’ve just finished working in the Warwick castle
dungeons and am trying to move to Bristol and the chance to chart my progress would be immensely useful. I check my emails constantly-force of habit, I think- and have spent enough time scribbling absently.
Also, Bristol doesn’t happen to have a dungeon does it? I have all these facts about the bubonic plague and no outlet. There may be damage. Maybe even street theatre or interpretative dance.
Thanks for reading, I’ve yet to miss your blog even when I had the flu! Good lord, I really need to be busy. Help please.
Alice
Posted by Anna Lowman on March 29, 2010
Anna Lowman here, for all your emergency blogging needs.
Well, unless it’s 9-6.30 on a week day, during which I’ll be at work – something I can’t really drop, more’s the pity. Really, “a small proportion of your emergency blogging needs” would be more accurate, which may render my entire application redundant, as flexibility is sort of the point.
But if you can see past all that, it’d be genuinely wonderful to be on the list of go-to people. My own blog deals almost exclusively in reviews of telly, comedy and theatre meaning I don’t really talk about myself; it feels self-indulgent and out of place. Of course, writing about myself on someone else’s blog might be even more so, but there’s been an atmosphere of openness and self-expression established here which it’d be interesting and probably something of a challenge to contribute to. If I end up posting a review of Ashes To Ashes, you’ll all know I’ve chickened out of baring my soul, and you can rebuke me roundly.
As for advice, I’ll afraid I will have to think on’t.
Posted by louisel on March 29, 2010
Right, a (long) question:
I’m 15 and my GCSEs are scarily close *gulp*. I’m choosing my A-level options now, but I’m really freaking out about choosing the wrong things.
I was just wondering what you wanted to do when you were 15? Did you have it all planned out, or did you just choose things you enjoyed and then see where it went? I don’t want to spend the next two years doing subjects I don’t like, but my parents want me to take maths and french instead of psychology and music because they reckon it’d look better on my CV and stuff.
So yeah, do I do what I enjoy or do what will get me furthest?
Any wise words would help
Posted by Amy on March 29, 2010
So I just posted (re: English Lit dissertation procrastination), but I figured I’d tell you a little more about why I’m so perfect to be your EB:
1) I’m just about to graduate with an English Lit degree. Supposedly this means that I am now a bit of a genius when it comes to constructing sentences but, ultimately, all it means is that I’m well rehearsed for clever conversations at drinks parties.
2) I have earned money through Uni by carving out what some may call a “career” in Stand Up Poetry. Although saying that, I’ve spent the best part of the last six months performing Sit-Down Poetry whilst I recovered from a nastily broken ankle.
3) I live in Norfolk. It’s hilarious.
4) I’m in a similar situation to you, I suppose: I’m entering a decade in my life which is going to be quite interesting – I’m graduating in the summer and I going to have to try and do my best act as a grown up person soon.
That’ll do! x
Posted by Dean on March 29, 2010
Oh, yeah I could do that blog thing. I wouldn’t normally have the temerity to offer but I still have an inflated sense of self-importance after someone vaguely famous linked my otherwise middlingly popular blog the other week.
Look, here is me already being you in a blog designed to help people who are trying to TYSIC their way in to stand-up which I wrote the other week:
http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/loved/entry/getting_started_in/
Suggestions that writing that was a way of disguising my failed attempts to start learning the piano are mostly accurate.
(And can we use TYSIC as a verb? I feel we need some official clarification on this.)
Posted by Amy on March 29, 2010
I would very much like to be your emergency blogger! My laptop is literally on and active around 17 or 18 hours a day as I try to procrastinate from writing my dissertation. Saying that, my dissertation is on English Literature and consequently I always have plenty of time on my hands so I could always be around to be relied upon.
Posted by Laurs on March 29, 2010
Dear Mark,
I would like to apply for the position of emergency blogger please. I think I am relatively well suited to this role, I am an English teacher so have a good grasp of the language and stuff that goes with it! I also love writing. Plus, teaching gives me so many laughs every day with the daft things the kids do that I am sure that I could find things to write about.
Thanks Mark, and great blog. You’re awesome!
Posted by Gilly on March 29, 2010
Hello!
I am yet another applicant for the position — being an English girl living in California, I feel like I could be ideal… As some of the TYSIC group projects (obviously by necessity) have to be geographically limited, I think it might be nice (for me, anyway. Muah ha ha. )to have a broader geographic scope.
I keep a livejournal, a twitter, and a blog I have just decided to resurrect, and have done projects like BEDA (Blog Every Day in April) and Nanowrimo to keep my oar in. (Where does that expression come from, anyway? Were there some very vocal rowers who wanted to assure the general public that they were not old and decrepit?).
I’m a 19 year old theater/English lit major, currently applying to transfer to colleges all over Europe, and I would like to help. My TYSIC challenge is to not be afraid to fail (and thus stop myself from trying for things), so even writing this is a huge step for me, really. So… success.
I have one of those marvelous pieces of technology that beep when I have a new email, so should you choose me I would be at your disposal, my liege. (I mean that in the least creepy way possible).
Cheers,
GIlly
Posted by Corey on March 29, 2010
As many have said, it would be good to be part of a team of EB’s who can be called on at a moments notice. Also, it would be good to have said EB’s from all over the world offering different perspectives on things!?. Don’t think its fair to discriminate people for not being in Britain!!.
Posted by Alex on March 29, 2010
I was thinking it might be quite fun to be emergency blogger, but was feeling far too nervous about ‘putting myself out there’ as the saying goes to actually comment. Then I remembered that my TYSIC is to stop being so daft about things like that, and decided I’d comment anyway.
I’m not going to say why I’d be good though.
A) I may well not be.
B) The thought of actually having to do it, whilst fun, seems really quite frightening.
Posted by ElizabethD on March 29, 2010
I suppose the bold and impressive thing would be to step forward and say that I’d be the best choice as emergency blogger, but I think I’d actually be better as part of a team of relievers rather than the sole EB. I was going to call it a coalition, but being American I think there might be some unpleasant connotations with that word…
My qualifications are as follows:
1) A double BA in Drama and Literature, which makes me fairly useless in the real world, but handy to have around in the virtual one.
2) I’m unemployed which again is not great in terms of real world survival but makes me very useful when people need me to do something on short notice. My friends have gotten a great deal of satisfaction from this with a wide range of situations from shoulder to cry on at 2AM to emergency pet care and even occasional light carpentry.
3) The time difference between our countries has been listed as a disadvantage but I see it as being incredibly useful. Say, for example, that the baby has kept you up all night. It is now five in the morning and you desperately need some sleep. Who can you contact to write the blog? All of the UK emergency bloggers are asleep (apart from a couple of the runners, but they’re out running) But wait, it’s only midnight where Elizabeth lives and she’s unemployed so we know she doesn’t sleep at night! Voila, problem solved.
4) Since I got a smart phone I check my email obsessively, because I can and because it seems wasteful not to when my phone is just sitting there in my pocket doing nothing. Consequently, it’s pretty easy to get a hold of me.
Posted by Magnificent Josh on March 29, 2010
I would like to suggest a team of bloggers all producing emergency blogs, you can then pick the best out of all of them and, as Marty Chang would say, you’re done.
Posted by Rory on March 29, 2010
Despite the rather large assemblage of capable, talented and lovely blog volunteers, I thought I’d offer myself up to thee. I am a sponge of words, ready to be happily squeezed for droplets of blog-juice. Not all my metaphors are quite so disgusting.
I’d like to think that I fall into the vague bracket of people eligible for the position. I’m readily available on request, I’m a big fan of your work and I enjoy writing things, and all that. I’m also a big fan of your work (these details must be stressed in such essential times of flattery.)
It would genuinely be immensely heartening to me you considered my ramblings. Heck, I wouldn’t even have to write anything; I’d be quite content sitting in the knowledge that you considered me. Getting considered to be a stand-in bloggist for Mark Watson. Why, that’s like Jimi Hendrix considering… Emm, a stand-in bloggist…
Anyway, there is usually a slightly more coherent and structured side to my writing too, I swear. And on occasions, I can be deep. Ish.
Many Thanks,
Rory
Posted by Martin on March 29, 2010
I commented earlier about living in the US so not been able to do it. However, I just realized that it isn’t that big of an issue as I check my e-mail about 25 times a day anyway. I would love to do this job and if I’m no good at it then I would gladly give it up for someone else. I have an A in English literature at GCSE (although I’m not sure how, that tenner I put in the paper must have worked)
Posted by Charlie O'Neill on March 29, 2010
Dear Mr Watson,
I would like to apply for the role of emergency blogger.
What would my blogs consist of? I hear you ask, I will tell you what they won’t consist of. Luckily for you I don’t have the organisational skills to be a dictator, evil leader or even start a small protest. Therefore no war mongering will consist in the blog. I also don’t have the intelligence to deal with deep issues, however I will endeavour to tweet Alain De Botton if a problem on that level should arise.
I will stick to what I know and big events that have happened during the day; for example, today I drank a whole bottle of orange squash. My blog may start with something like “Charlie Squashes Robinsons Orange”.
There are no bounds to my procrastination (I have an exam tomorrow) making me always free to pen something quickly. I have always wanted to write a blog, but too scared I wouldn’t be able to keep it up, so the opportunity to dip in and out of writing in between watching Masterchef would be excellent.
Yours, Charlie
Posted by Ben Draper on March 29, 2010
I’d emergency blog. All I have to offer is an A level in English Literature, B grade (very close to A though), a tiny bit of twitter experience and plenty of free time in my very flexible schedule. To that we can now add a newfound desire to write one of these blogs.
Posted by Rachael on March 29, 2010
Hi Mark et al,
my problem is simple, how do I cope under the increasingly mounting pressure without turning into a blob? I am currently doing a MA in Social Work and apart from finishing my dissertation at present 9all 20,000 words of it) I am also on placement in a social work team and doing actual social work, which is lovely but also filled with wake-up-in-the-night stress over not doing/being good enough. My current coping mechanism is serious amount of food, especially sweets, chocolate and cake and with little time to exercise I am worried that I may start to resemble Rik Waller.
Suggestions anyone? and it cannot be alcohol as I will be frowned on drinking in work.
Posted by Sam on March 29, 2010
I commented earlier applying for the job of temporary blog replacement service.
Well I have a new blog post up if you want to judge my work, it concerns the baby birthing hijinks that I recounted in my earlier comment.
http://wp.me/pBC5v-D
There you go.
Posted by Sandy on March 29, 2010
Hello Mr Watson,
Can you help me by testing out my new invention. It is a sofa made of sand. It is quite hard to put together but well worth the effort. OK, it’s not that new, I’ve been perfecting the design for years but I think it is just about ready for human trials. You would have to come to the beach in London (on the river by the Oxo Tower) and sit on the sofa using your face to talk and your bottom to sit, while I provide you with a drink and some snacks. Possibly beach BBQ food, who knows.
You would also be testing out a new live internet TV channel. So people around the globe could see you test this out. My main aim will be to try and make you laugh and impress you with skills I learned as a tramp (when I had no sofa) and your job would be to look for ways to improve thing thus make life a better place for all.
I would then happy to be your blogging bitch from now and for ever more. http://www.dirtybeach.tv/content/music/
Posted by Thinking Chimp on March 29, 2010
Dear Mr Watson
As a fellow chimp wot thinks, I would like to apply for the position of ‘Emergency Blogger’ as re your post above. I have many interesting (to me) randomised ramblings, some of which are available here http://thinkingchimp.blogspot.com/. I have also been known to promote the wonderment that is the blue footed boobie, Japanese record breaking orgies, and the availability of yeasts for different uses.
I work from home and am therefore available for most of the 24 hours of the day, prefering some hours of rest if at all possible, but not absolutely essential (unless I pass out first).
Remuneratively, I would appreciate the occasional mottled banana innards, and, as a treat only, some smoked lice of a weekend.
I do hope you will consider an under-appreciated, 96% compatible chimp for the above, as said previously, positional intention.
Ta. TC
Posted by Corey on March 29, 2010
I would love to apply for the position of emergency blogger. I try and do my sports blog as often as I can so I’m used to coming up with ideas and always have something I want to moan/talk about, and on the other end of my email all day.
Problem wise, one of my cats has been getting jealous of my other cat. It’s got so bad that the other cat can’t even get so much as a stroke without a ‘revenge attack’ happening when we leave the room. Should I punish jealous cat/stop stroking other cat or maybe send him off to the cat army to learn some cat rules?. Hope you can help
Posted by AlNapp on March 29, 2010
Hi Mark
I’d like to cover your emergency blog, if you like any of this: http://www.fromnought2sixty.com/, drop me a line
Cheers
Al
Posted by Catherine on March 29, 2010
Dear Watson,
I would like to apply for the job of assistant emergency blogger (in case you can’t find your first emergency blogger). I live in the US, only taking one or two classes a semester, have no life other than school and family. I’m trying to branch out and do less with the family (they are a wee bit loco). You can reach me by e-mail or twitter almost anytime as I sleep very little and stay up all night.
Question for Aunt Agony: I am looking for a partner who is from UK but lives in Spain part of the time. Most important requirements are to be able to make me laugh and love dogs. Oh, one other thing. I would prefer a male. Where am I most likely to find this person?
Sincerely,
Fluffy (my nickname from nephews and nieces)
Posted by Meg on March 29, 2010
My problem is: Our cat has just died (aged 18 – pretty impressive for a cat) and my autistic 11 year old brother is devastated and needs cheering up. Also, he is having a massive nose bleed. There’s blood everywhere. Any ideas?
Posted by Christine on March 29, 2010
I think I’ll spare Mark (and others) from my impending baby-doom feelings
my little one is not due till June so I should be able to calm down somewhat before then I’d hope!!
Emma – hope you don’t mind me butting in, but I’ve had that situation a couple of times and know how hard and draining it can be. Is it just the two of you in the house? I’ve got to say you can’t be that naive and selfish if you are aware of it, so you might be being hard on yourself – its certainly a good start being aware of your own faults. What do you have in common with your housemate? I found bribery with wine and silly film helped when I was in a similar situation – you just need something to get you to relax a bit in each others company and talk a bit more. Hope it works out well for you, but if it doesn’t don’t blame yourself – it takes two people not to get on!
Posted by Ben on March 29, 2010
I would LOVE to be on the Emergency BLogger list. I’ve started my first blog for my TYSIC, and I’m really enjoying it so far. Click on the name for a shufti. I post a few times a week–it’s limited by how quickly I read, because it’s about books.
I work part-time, but spend a lot of time at my computer and am easily contactable and ready to jump into the fray, and I love to write, and all sorts. I would probably talk about something really entertaining and fascinating that i can’t quite think of right now, and everybody would love it. Pick me!
As for problems. For all the things I want to do, I need more money than I currently earn. How can I supplement my income?
Posted by Katie on March 29, 2010
I’ve been seeing a guy for the last month or two. he’s wonderfully gorgeous in most ways, but when he drinks he totally changes… On Friday he went AWOL and i didn’t hear from him. then i got a mail yesterday night from his ex telling me that they’d spent the night together. He admits this is true and is devastated. I just don’t know what to do. He’s since also admitted that he’s on antidepressants and shouldn’t be drinking anyway. So do I tell him to get lost or do I give him a chance to go back to the doctors, get some counselling and sort his head out? Confusing.
Posted by Rachael on March 29, 2010
You already solved my problem of the day (couldn’t think of nicknames for tv shows) so thanks.
Also, this weekend I helped my parents by going home and cleaning/tidying up after my brother so they didn’t come back from their holiday to find their house in a state.
Lastly, I would quite like to do the emergency blogging, although I have never blogged before and I’m sure that alot of the other volunteers could do a better job than me.
Posted by Tara on March 29, 2010
I think I’d probably make a fairly woeful Emergency Blogger but I do have a question. Do you have any advice for someone planning on moving to London?
Posted by Emma on March 29, 2010
I’m living with someone who I don’t think particularly likes me. I try and be friendly and do my share of cleaning, etc., but she thinks I’m naive and selfish. We don’t chat much, and the houseshare came about because she needed somewhere quick and lived next door to me previously.
I am aware I can be naive and selfish, but I’m working on it; I just wonder if anyone has any tips to make living with her easier.
Posted by Rallen on March 29, 2010
I’d love to be emergency blogger. I’m glued to my phone so always see my e-mails as soon as I get them. And becuase I’m at uni I do 6 hours a week (it’s a hard life I know!)
But I do tend to do lists as I fail at grammar.
Posted by Katie on March 29, 2010
Oooh, I’d like to apply for the Emergency-Blogger position. I like grammar and I can talk/write endless amounts of crap. So it’d be nice if you chose me. I’d really rather like that. I do understand that I’m not selling myself particularly well, but I am not a prostitute/expert, so for that I can only apologise.
I also have a question. I’d rather like to become a vegetarian, but I bloody love meat. I’m concerned about animal welfare (I don’t eat at McDonalds because I can’t stand what they do to the poor cows – I shan’t tell you, I don’t want to put you off), but I find it really difficult to stop eating meat because a) I quite like it, and b) my family are rampant meat eaters. My father also has many strong opinions on vegetarians – not one of them positive – and my inability to stand up to him also proves to be another massive obstacle.
So, Mr Watson, what should I do? Because I’d love to be a vegetarian, but I’m not sure how I’d handle the whole malarkey. Your opinion would be much appreciated and valued.
Posted by Megan on March 29, 2010
Doh, how I was nice to people this weekend:
1. Made cookies for my pub quiz team (who won last night! woo!)
2. Drove a friend to the outer suburbs to buy a swanky chef’s knife, though, sadly the store was closed.
3. Was generous with the work schedule so that the most people got double time and a half for at least one shift. Even the staff who get on my nerves.
Posted by Megan on March 29, 2010
I’d love to be an emergency blogger. I’ve been wanting to start blogging (a ‘regular’ blog) again, but couldn’t think of a good enough hook.
Examples of my writing about my failed gardening: http://www.popcornmonkey.com/wordpress/ (Ottawa had the rainiest month EVER in July 2009, so my garden mostly drowned. Seriously.) I will be trying again this year in hopes that it won’t be a washout and that the squirrels won’t eat everything else.
Posted by Georgina on March 29, 2010
My question – do I go straight into clinical psychology in a really shit place where I don’t want to live for uni (I want to go to scotland but can’t for that degree) or do a bog standard psych degree asap in scotland, and then do a postgrad in clinical psychology after that when i won’t mind because i have been living in scotland for three years? I’m scared I’ll be lazy (which I am a lot of the time) and get below a 2,1 and that means I actually won’t be qualified enough to go for post grad clinical psych and then I’ll be fucked.
Sorry about the actually serious boring question but I have no clue as to what to do.
Posted by Steph on March 29, 2010
Rachel ^…I feel your pain.
I would love to be an emergency blogger for the following reasons:
1) I also like to use capital letters when what I am doing with my hands permits (don’t have a baby so usually I have the use of both)
2) I like to natter on to perfect strangers. Like today, it was “Disney Day” at school and so I dressed up as Bert from Mary Poppins and saw that one of the Physics teachers was also a chimney sweep. I said to him in the corridor “Ey up, Guv’nor”. It literally was the only thing I could think of, but it was friendly nonetheless. He just looked at me gormless. So what that I had never met/heard of him before, I just wanted to get into the spirit of the day! But the point is, I have no problem communicating with (or to) people I haven’t met…it’s fun! and
3) I like Sci-Fi.
Posted by Terry on March 29, 2010
First to the application,
Dear Sir/Madam,
After reading your “brief” description I feel it is my want, nay my duty, to offer my services, good sir.
I have been keeping my blog up to date fairly regualry of late and I’ve found that the posts I get the best reception to are my song discections, but not wanting to do to many of them I have only done two thus far (as seen here)
If I was given the chance to be your support blogger I would use the oppurtunity to discect more relevant pop songs of the day,
Yours sincerely,
Me
Now to the question, I’m going to be travelling up to edingburgh on the first friday and leaving on sunday week, where can I find information on booking the night train up, as what information I have found has just confused me?
Thanks Mark, cheers for another good blog
Posted by cymruangel on March 29, 2010
I can emergency blog any weekday you like, and am often to be found doing slightly random things thanks to my job (for example Ascension Day, when I shall be watching students throw pennies at children and drinking ivy beer). But not always – if it had been today, I’d be whinging about the Google results I got when researching people called “Sarah Harding”, “Alex Reid” and “Peter Griffin”.
Weekends trickier, as am often dancing/singing, but could start routine of checking email at least once a day if needed.
Also, I think “Can I Help You” is a candidate for opening up to TYSICers in general – it may well be that if your knowledge doesn’t quite cover something, one of the rest of us could help?
E.g. rachel and h2osarah’s question – you can advise on “meeting someone” but I’m guessing boyfriends aren’t really your territory…
(To which, girls, I gave up looking and met someone while singing in a carol concert. Sounds like the oldest cliche in the book, but it really did turn up when I wasn’t looking. But in the meantime, look around at people who have the same interests as you, and you may be surprised to find there’s someone already there.)
Posted by Saul Wordsworth on March 29, 2010
Dear Mark,
I would relish the opportunity to fill your shoes on the off chance that yours are nowhere to be found, or fully of baby sick.
I have a track record that is second to none (in my family).
Here’s one I prepared recently:
http://www.saulwordsworth.com/blog/?p=214
ATB,
Saul
Posted by Kathryn on March 29, 2010
Happy to volunteer as an emergency blogger. It sounds exciting. Although most of the things I think about are rather mundane. It’s not as if I have anything better to do, like revising- maybe if you have an emergency after 15th June?
Posted by Nina "Ninja" Ballantyne on March 29, 2010
I am a student. With exams coming up. Who spends most of the day online to start with. I feel this easily qualifies me as the most available (oo-er) person in the world. I also write for and edit a student mag what has won awards and everything. As such, I have extensive experience in typing words (in English!), checking poor student spelling and being anal about fonts and design. All crucial skills in the writing of blogs, I’m sure you’ll agree. Mostly.
Also, I tried to get you a Chippendale during your last ever 24 hour show and failed, so I feel I owe you one. I think you are a very cool, groovy,organised person for thinking this far ahead and taking all your responsibilities and commitments seriously. Geez a shout if I can help.
Posted by sprods on March 29, 2010
Are you also going to need an emergency agony comic (traditionally known as an agony aunt?
I’m got at that sympathy and advice stuff so will gladly volunteer.
Posted by h2osarah on March 29, 2010
I can apply for the blog job. As a lazy grad student who spends most of her days at the computer, I am almost always contactable. My blogging experience has been limited, self-obsessed ramblings which are nowhere near as funny or charming as your blogs, but I can put words on a page at short notice. I’m so good at selling myself!
My problem is similar to rachel’s. How to find a nice boy? Either that or if you’re feeling ambitious, how do you be happy? How do you learn to love what you have?
Hope that helps,
S x
Posted by Martin on March 29, 2010
I would love to do that job, However, I am in the US at the moment so the time difference would be a problem. I am back in May so I will be able to do it then.
Posted by Abi on March 29, 2010
Dear Agony Aunt (otherwise known as Mark Watson),
I have nearly finished my second year of uni, all I have left is my exams. Now, I’m pretty sure you went to uni (Cambridge, I believe), and that puts you in good shoes to help me out. Do you have a preferred method of studying/revising? How about balancing work with some fun? I’ve tried various techniques (ranging from post-it notes all over the house to pouring my head over books), but can’t seem to find one that works for me.
Yours faithfully,
Overworked, Undercooked Maths Grad (to be)!
Posted by Misha on March 29, 2010
Just thought of a question.
There’s a nice girl in my english class who may not infact be as straight as I’d previously thought.
How do I found out and then (if the rumour is true) do something about it?
Posted by Anji on March 29, 2010
Wow, I detected some energy towards the end there. This may be because I have just workn from a ‘oops where did the last hour go’ nap, and haven’t any myself.
Although I would love to apply to be a subsitute for you Mark, I think there are a few peeps out there who would do a splendid job and get something out of it far more than me. But, if you need a subs bench, with someone on who only ever plays when there really is no other choice -then I’m sure I could fill that seat. Possibly like a youth team player. ( is it here I add I have never blogged, or do I wait until the interview is over?!)
And as for holidays Mark, I’m sure we could allow you time off! Or if you really don’t like the idea of that, do some in advance ( you’ll earn time off somewhow!) and pre-post or get someone else to post on the actual days.
Either way with this, and if you couldn’t manage it on a daily basis, we’d miss it but understand!
Posted by Marie on March 29, 2010
I’ll happily emergency blog when needed. Subjects can range from me, to television, to rants about news stories, to rants about train strikes, to musical theatre… I’ll happily waffle away when needed.
As for how you can help me… well, I could do with some advice actually. I’ll have to do a fair amount of public speaking over the next couple of months, something which I’m not too good at. How do you recommend I cope with nerves – are there any tips you use when you’re faced with a massive audience?
Posted by Sam on March 29, 2010
I would like to apply for the role of emergency blogger. I’m easily contactable by email as I tend to be online a lot. I’m a student so have bags of free time. Enjoy writing, write a reasonably popular blog. And by reasonably popular, I mean more than one person reads it. Although I don’t write it every day as I run the risk of burning myself out with it. I’d appreciate the chance, and have no problem spouting stories or shit (or a combination of the two) at people. I have plenty to write about, such as (and this links in nicely to your helpfulness attitude) I helped a woman yesterday whose waters broke in the middle of the shop. In the lack of a shop assistant who was of any use I phoned an ambulance and her husband (who is called Paul Daniels, when I asked him about this he said “Yes I know, it’s unfortunate.) It’s a rather odd experience phoning a man you don’t know and telling him a little person is about to drop out of his wife. I then sat with the woman and talked with her keeping her calm whilst we waited for the ambulance. I got a phone call from Paul this morning saying the baby had been born and that they’d called it Sam, as they didn’t have a name before and it seems as good as any, Thus: helping is good. And I would like to be blog back up chiefton or whatever the title was.
Posted by Ryan Watson on March 29, 2010
I am a student at the university of Exeter; I study civil engineering and am in my third year. I have an A-level in English Literature (Grade = C). I am very optimistic generally, but on Friday my girlfriend of 3 years left me and now it feels like god is pissing on my delicate world, eroding it away like some sort of urinal cake!! Despite his satisfaction he is no doubt feeling, I have now to rebuild the walls of shit around me waiting for his return to finish the job. I think in my current mood I may be a bit of a hindrance to your optimistic message; however it may be a stark contrast that will ensure people appreciate your optimism on your return. Hope you consider my application until then I will be masturbating furiously over pictures of my ex girlfriend.
kind regards
Ryan Watson
Posted by Rachel on March 29, 2010
My main problem at the moment would be preparing for exams, but I think I’m dealing with that OK (even though it is stopping me from applying to be your emergency blogger *sniff*) However, I leave school in May and although I know I’m going to college and I know what I’m going to study, I suppose I’m worrying about what comes after college. I know it’s a little early to be thinking about that but it’s still bothering me
Did you always know what you wanted to do or did it just come to you one day?
Posted by Daniel Woodrow on March 29, 2010
As teachers are never more than 2 weeks away from a holiday it’s odd on I’ll be free as an
emergency blogger if needed – am happy to apply.
Posted by Misha on March 29, 2010
I’m happy to emergency blog. I’ve got my own for past form *cough* click on the name *cough*
And I have little else better to do with my time.
I think that says everything about me and why the highlight of my entire easter holiday is the new dr who episode.
Posted by rachel on March 29, 2010
i would like to apply for a job as emergency blogger, but there’s a fairly high risk it’ll just be about what biscuits were on BOGOF at tesco express that day.
my problem would be – how do i find a nice boy? i am capable of finding boys in general, but most are not nice. and the ones that are nice are taken. its very hard work.
Posted by Steven Harris on March 29, 2010
Would love to be considered for emergency blogging. And no naked photos or religious outrages, promise.
The can I help format seems to be working okay on Richard Bacon’s show and it has more scope for answers to reach people online.