Please, please, please let me get what I want: The MP3 Competition
Just over a week ago, I wrote a slightly provocative blog implying that the closure of 6Music didn’t matter as much as everyone thought, because really everyone ought to find new music for themselves and listen to it on their lovely MP3 player and not bother with music radio at all. (I’m making myself sound slightly more crass than I was, but that was the gist of it.) I then realised that not everyone has an MP3 player because a lot of this blog’s readers are not multi-billionaire comedians, like my good self, but students trying to make £1.19 last for a week, like my good self ten years ago.* Accordingly, I decided to take the opportunity to launch the first COMPETITION of this decade-long blogathon. I would buy a cheap MP3 player and give it to the person who made the most convincing claim to need it. In this way I would contribute to the furthering and enjoyment of new music. I then decided, in the spirit of the 24-hour shows, we should make it our mission to convey the prize from me, to the winner, by means of a human chain. What fun.
30-odd people made a play for the MP3 player and I have whittled them down, slightly unfairly, to a shortlist of eight. My criteria were, roughly: poverty; desperation; obvious enthusiasm for music; fun distance away from me which would make it amusing to try and get to the prize to them; sheer cheek, but not so much cheek that it would take the piss if they won. I apologise if you didn’t make it. It’s not some sort of rejection, it’s more to do with this whole thing being very silly.
Anyway, the shortlisted entries are below. Once more in the tradition of the marathon shows, it is now over to the audience (you) to choose the winner from the entries from England, Scotland, Holland and France. Decide who you want to win, leave it as a Comment. The recipient of the most votes wins the music player, simple as that. We then start planning to get it to them, ideally in the most ludicrously overcomplicated way we can.
Voting closes last thing on Wednesday. Please do not vote after this time, you may still be charged, etc. And the lines are open… now.
*NB I am not really a multi-billionaire or even a uni-billionaire. I shouldn’t need to say that, but people sometimes take things very literally.
ANNA For the sake of my son, you should give me this MP3 player. You see, I was cool once. I had pink hair, I went to gigs, I knew who was number one in the indie chart. But, gradually, without me even noticing it was happening, I started to get old. These days, my hair is a very sensible colour, and the last gig I went to was 18 months ago ago (Frank Turner, in case you’re interested). I’ve no idea who is number one in the main chart, let alone the indie chart. In short, I’ve turned into my mother. Of course, to do all of this, I need something to listen to all this new music on. Mark, I implore you, help me with my TYSIC, save my son from a lifetime of his mummy living in the past, and give me an MP3 player.
Thank you.
CARL Last month my beautiful girlfriend Beth, who I’ve been lucky enough to have not driven away for almost a year, had a bit of an accident. We were in a rush to leave the house – my fault – and during the commotion her drinks bottled exploded in her bag, filling her iPod with water. Not a pretty afternoon.
So I would love for Beth to be awarded with this iPod, not me. Mine is fully functional (and caused a dent in my ex’s wallet) whereas hers looks all sad and moist during the final months of her degree, which, in my experience, requires some relaxing tunes to help you power through.
THOMAS The reason I need an MP3 player so much is simple: Radio 1 is played at work all day everyday, and it is terrible.
That good enough?
LIZZIE I think that I need this mp3 player the most for this very simple reason: my iPod fell in the toilet. Properly.
And yes, it’s more easily done than you think; one minute it’s safely tucked into the waistband of you pants after a session of dancing around to Kaiser Chiefs in your kitchen after everyone else has gone to bed, the next moment you are peeing happily when you hear a verrrry suspicious plop. And you know it wasn’t natural. Alas, its little LCD screen stares mournfully up at you from the depths. What to do? You can’t flush, you can’t ignore it, so you must bear the humiliation of lifting your own iPod from an (all too full) toilet bowl. And only after this ordeal do you realise that your prized music player shall never function properly again.
BETH Dear Mark, Please find attached my plea for a new MP3.
I have always been and will always be a big music fan. I currently listen to music about 11 hours a day, I love everything from Brand New to Girls Aloud. However tragically my mp3 decided not to charge just before Christmas, so it was given to my dad to try and fix, even though I was going to take it back as it was within warranty. My dad refused saying he could fix it, then claiming he had. The day after my warranty runs out I go to turn it on and it unfortunately had passed on to mp3 heaven. I refused to let my parents buy me a new one as they do a lot for me, and didn’t want them to be spending more on me. So I currently have a very small, unnamed brand of mp3 player, that fits about 2 albums on. The only thing keeping me from going insane at work from the loud shouting lawyer and the very noisy eating man opposite me. Please help me remember what other albums exist other than the ting tings!
JORIK I feel a bit awkward about leaving this comment, but as I’ll spend it begging for some electronic music-face-gear I’ll just go and do it.
I’m one of those seven freaks who follow the UK comedy scene from the continent (in my case, Holland. I am Dutch myself; officially. English is my second language. It is. It really is.
I lost my mp3-player when I was staying in a horribly dingy Youth Hostel in London. I suspect the slightly frightening Argentinian alcoholic physician (this is what he called himself (not the alcoholic bit, obviously)) took it, trying to trade it for some booze. I pitied him so didn’t go after him. Also, as I said, I was scared of him.
I believe I deserve the iPod for prolonging the misery of this clearly troubled man and not helping him trying to sort out his problems. Also: I’m foreign, so that’s double points.
I am ashamed of what I have become.
HELEN I live in France in a town in the middle of nowhere (in fact it’s only an hour south of Paris but certainly feels like that way). My town has a speaker system set up so that broadcasts the town’s local commercial radio, the joy of which follows you wherever you go. I’m training for a marathon at the moment so could really do with something to block out the annoying adverts (avez-vous pensé de votre enterrement? appelez monsieur harreau pour discuter touts vos besoins après la mort) and the terrible music. The French stuff is fine, it’s the terrible choices of english music that is upsetting, I heard 50 Cent and The Nolans in the space of one run – although it did make me run faster in attempt to get away, so maybe an ipod would be counter-productive..?
And also getting it to me in France might be a challenge, but a fun one perhaps?
SEAMUS Why do I deserve an MP3 player from you? Well, music is what my world revolves around. I make music, listen to music, play music, everything. However, my MP3 player broke some time ago, and for the past 4 or 5 months I have been borrowing my mum’s, as she doesn’t use it that often. However, this is far from ideal. As you pointed out, even “cheap” MP3 players cost money, and that is my problem. If I save up to buy myself a new player, I won’t have any money left to buy any new CDs to put on it.
The problem with money could easily be solved by getting a job, but there are 2 problems with that. 1, I’m 16, and my exams are in a couple of months, so revising is a higher priority, and 2, I live in the Scottish highlands, so even if I had the time to get a part time job, there simply aren’t any within an hour’s drive of me.
So, ummmm, yeah. An MP3 player would be nice.
Posted by wok burner on March 17, 2010
I vote Helen.
elle est super cool and french radio is THE WORST. even here in Paree!
Posted by Hannah on March 17, 2010
I VOTE HELEN!! Being subjected to rubbish french radio whilst trying to train for a marathon – sounds like she’s a worthy winner!
Posted by Simon on March 17, 2010
Four votes for Helen after the lines closed! Nooooo…
Posted by Sam on March 17, 2010
Helen gets my vote, no-one should be subjected to French radio. PLus getting there will be hilarious!
Posted by Jo on March 17, 2010
Definitely Helen
Posted by Av on March 17, 2010
I vote Helen. Its bad enough having to listen to Coleen for 30 seconds on an Iceland advert let alone enduring the whole Nolan clan for several minutes.
Posted by stacey on March 17, 2010
close call…. i vote helen
Posted by Eilidh on March 16, 2010
Seamus. M’kay? Good.
Posted by snappycat on March 16, 2010
i vote for Anna..obviously by far the most worthy winner!
Posted by Adele on March 16, 2010
I vote Helen.
Posted by Hayley on March 16, 2010
My vote goes to Anna and her quest to discover new music. You provide the MP3 player, and I’ll donate some pink hair dye. It’s a promise!
Posted by Rachel on March 16, 2010
Poor Helen gets my vote, is no corner of the earth safe from Colleen and her poisonous sisters?!
Posted by Jonathan on March 16, 2010
My vote goes to Anna…
Posted by David Marriott on March 16, 2010
Jorik, methinks.
Posted by Rachel on March 16, 2010
Thomas is being force fed radio 1 people. We all know the risks of over-exposure. We cannot stand idly by and let this continue. On humanitarian grounds Thomas should receive the MP3.
Posted by Georgie on March 16, 2010
I vote Seamus
Having read this blog and the one after I wasn’t sure whether to post this here or there… Hope this is adequate!
You’re lovely, Mark. x
Posted by John on March 16, 2010
I vote for Helen, because I can’t think of three things I like less than a) running, b) 50 Cent or c) being advertised at re: my own death. I’m another Londoner, but I could always dash home to the New Forest if the mp3 player needs to get a ferry!
Posted by EmmaT on March 16, 2010
I have to vote for Jorik as he is Dutch and so am I (well kind of). I have also had familiar experiences in Youth Hostels around the world.
Posted by Zoe Fell on March 16, 2010
I’m voting for Anna. But may the best person win!|
Posted by Daniel on March 16, 2010
Seamus. as a fellow teenager in the midst of exams unable to get a job
Posted by Rick Procter on March 16, 2010
Well, I sympathise with Anna and Helen, as have many of us already, but my vote has to go to Seamus. His case best fits the criteria. And he has the coolest name too.
Posted by louise on March 16, 2010
I want Anna to win, her TYSIC is to listen to new music so it’s only fitting that she has something to listen to that new music on!
Posted by Jackie on March 16, 2010
Torn between Seamus and Lizzie…
Lizzie clearly is committed to her music, fishing around in a toilet full…
Seamus seems unlikely to get one himself unless his parents are willing, plus getting it to him will be a great challenge…
Okay, closing my eyes and letting my finger decide…
Lizzie wins! My vote is for Lizzie.
If you need assistance passing through my area (Selby/York/Hull/Leeds), pls shout out!
Posted by Alex on March 15, 2010
Jorik, because being foreign definitely is double points.
Posted by emma on March 15, 2010
Jorik!
Posted by Randalthor1812 on March 15, 2010
I vote for Jorik as I work with a Torquay postie who is Dutch , very funny and laid back almost horizontal.Tenuous I know but hey.,..
Posted by Seamus on March 15, 2010
First of all, thanks so much for putting me on the short list, but I really don’t feel I deserve it, when I compare my plea with everyone elses.
My vote goes to Helen or Thomas, purely because being forced to listen to music against your will is offically a form of torture. Maybe Amnesty International could donate another MP3 player so that they could both get one? Helen gets my final vote, as a human chain to France sounds like it would be quite challenging.
As far as delivering it goes, I think we should try and have it passed through as many T.Y.S.I.C. participants as possible. (In a human chain I mean. Not, like, eating it and such. I’m pretty sure that would break it.) I also like the idea of each link in the chain putting one track on the MP3 player, so that the eventual winner can hear everyone’s musical taste. Of course, there may be some legal issues with this, but we can work those out when we get to them.
Posted by Lisa Brunders on March 15, 2010
anna or Jorik. Lots of comments today!
Posted by Laurs on March 15, 2010
My vote goes to Anna. I have to show support for a fellow Frank Turner fan. And as someone as already said, clearly this indicates that she would use it to listen to some awesome music.
Though I would like to add that any of them would be worthy winners.
Posted by theamazingic on March 15, 2010
Anna, because I empathise (though I never had pink hair)
Posted by Iona on March 15, 2010
It’s a toss up between anna, thomas and lizzie but it has to be anna cos she likes frank turner
Posted by helen on March 15, 2010
helllooo,
i’m the france-dwelling helen mentioned on high. thank you for people who have said nice things, you all make the internet a nicer place to be. ta also to my sister rachel for her propaganda points added in her comment, though i will be more careful about what i text you in future…
Posted by Lynsey on March 15, 2010
Jorik gets my vote.
Posted by Katie on March 15, 2010
Seamus has my vote. I went to the Scottish Highlands once, and it was crap. I’m not even going to let my sense of national pride cover that one, it was totally crap. There was a Spar and all it had was mouldy cakes and chicken legs. So I vote Seamus (also, good luck in your exams).
Posted by Kate on March 15, 2010
I vote for Jorik.
Posted by Meg on March 15, 2010
Jorik.
Posted by Iain on March 15, 2010
Helen! No-one should have Europap pursue them by tannoy.
Posted by Terry on March 15, 2010
My vote is going to Beth as we all know the pain of when your dad tries to fix something.
Posted by Jade on March 15, 2010
Anna deserves it. It’s so scary becoming uncool and not even realising urgh!
Posted by Aidan Jones on March 15, 2010
Jorik, because hers was actually properly taken. That probably isn’t a fair judgment, but I felt quite sympathetic for them.
Posted by Lyds on March 15, 2010
I vote for Helen, purely based on her twin sister’s 3 reasons for voting Helen, especially the ” vom in the mouth” text message, which made me giggle.
Posted by Steph on March 15, 2010
I vote for Lizzie, simply for this amusing (and yet sad) line:
“Alas, its little LCD screen stares mournfully up at you from the depths.”
Good luck!
Posted by Rupmeister on March 15, 2010
Jorik gets my vote
Posted by Linsey on March 15, 2010
I’ll vote for Anna, just because she likes to Frank Turner, and all Frank Turner fans are lovely people (and she will obviously put the mp3 to good use with excellent music on it). Go Anna! x
Posted by Kate on March 15, 2010
SEAMUS! Not only does he have a very cool name but I am also a student and I know how hard it is to make money. And he lives in Scotland and I’m hoping, being from Cambridge, I could become part of the chain.
Posted by Liz on March 15, 2010
I vote for Anna. Gotta give that young ‘un a chance to grow up appreciating his mum’s music taste, else he’ll be on the back of the bus listening to the Jonas Brothers on his phone before you know it. Or something.
Posted by Viki on March 15, 2010
I think Anna should get it
.
Posted by Andrea on March 15, 2010
Jorik. Points for a hilariously eloquent plea, awkward location and slightly insane reason for needing it. But mostly because his inclusion provides the opportunity to make terrible ‘Alas, poor Jorik’ puns. Which is good enough for me.
Posted by Bill on March 15, 2010
Since they all seem lovely people I’m going to fall back on predominantly grammar-Nazi criteria.
So I’m voting Seamus for correct terminology (it is an “MP3 player”) and good grammar. He also lives in the Scottish Highlands where entertainment is lacking, until this he’ll have only heard bagpipes.
Posted by Anna on March 15, 2010
Jorik, Jorik all the way.
Posted by Beth on March 15, 2010
I vote Anna.
Posted by CarlBurktwit on March 15, 2010
Despite being in the competition myself (thank you Mark) I feel every vote counts, therefore mine goes to Anna.
I have met Frank Turner several times and is a genuinely talented and lovely bloke. We all should have his music in our ears.
Posted by Magnificent Josh on March 15, 2010
Jorik, definitely Jorik
Posted by Hannah on March 15, 2010
Has to be Anna.
Posted by Hannah on March 15, 2010
Hmmmmmm…Jorik
Posted by Marie on March 15, 2010
Seamus
For the simple reason that I’m in Scotland, so could be part of the chain that gets it to him.
Posted by Olga on March 15, 2010
JORIK!
and english is my second language too 
but I think it should be me
Posted by allison on March 15, 2010
I say give it to the mum…and on second choice, to the radio one listener. I can feel both their pain!
Posted by Kathryn on March 15, 2010
I think I vote for Helen, purely for including the French bit in her plea because I got a kick out of being able to translate it. Although I do strongly empathise with all the others. I feel proud of myself for being able to decide on someone and momentarily conquer my indecisiveness.
If we’re going for over-complicated conveyance of the mp3, I could help with a pointless detour through (Northern) Ireland. Other than that I’m kinda stuck on this island with no easy way of getting to, say, France.
Posted by rachel on March 15, 2010
i vote HELEN, for three reasons –
1. she’s my twin sister, and i miss her like i would miss my legs (does that make sense?), she’s my best friend, and nothing would make me happier to have an excuse to go and visit her with a shiny thing.
2. she is training super duper hard for her marathon, as indicated by the text i received yesterday, simply saying ‘VOM IN THE MOUTH’ after a gym session.
and 3. i have experienced the extremely odd speaker radio thing that her town has going on. although i was there at christmas, and had to listen to mariah carey over and over and over.
so there you go. vote helen. she’s pretty bloody good.
Posted by Cassy on March 15, 2010
Its either Helen, I have recently ran a marathon of my own, and I know that without my MP3 i would never have survived the training. Or Seamus, because school and not being able to have a job I also sympathize with
Helen, I suppose I’ll vote Helen. Yay!
Posted by Misha on March 15, 2010
I’m going to vote for Lizzie, because given my track record of toilet based issues its only a matter of time before I do the same
TYSIC hit a set back in the being more outgoing department, I encountered a pervey weirdo who’s rather frightened me. 2 steps forward 1 step back but i’ll keep trying.
Posted by Maddie on March 15, 2010
Jorik!!
Posted by Ben on March 15, 2010
Seamus FTW
Posted by Andrew P on March 15, 2010
Jorik, for the sheer fun of attempting to get it to him. Also because of his last sentence, and the story as a whole.
Posted by Steph Kempson on March 15, 2010
Jorik! Because I met a Dutch lad recently who really didn’t understand sarcasm and when I told him to go away he took it a bit seriously, therefore I feel I should make amends to the Dutch people.
Posted by Kim on March 15, 2010
I vote for Thomas – no one should be forced to listen to Moyles et al against their will.
Posted by Al Kennedy on March 15, 2010
I vote Anna. Frank Turner fans unite!
Posted by Emmy on March 15, 2010
I vote for Lizzie. Amusing toilet stories always get my vote.
Posted by Chris H on March 15, 2010
I vote for Seamus. I had a cassette walkman at his age – remember them? Seamus needs to experience MP3 players before they are replaced by new technology, so that in 15 years time he can say “I had an MP3 player when I was 16 – remember them?”.
Posted by Custard Cream Dreams on March 15, 2010
I vote Lizzie, for her… ordeal. And use of the words “all too full toilet bowl”.
Posted by Heather Jones on March 15, 2010
I vote for Lizzie – gotta love a bit of toilet humour
Posted by elin on March 15, 2010
Jorik. just because of that final line… and fellowship over the second language thing.
and if the human chain needs to extend to norway i’d be happy to help! i’ll be going from bergen to scania in the south of sweden via oslo and gothenburg in the end of april… it would be wonderfully unnecessary for the little thing to see more of the world, and the train trip from bergen to oslo is very very pretty! i think small electronic devices appreciate a dramatic landscape!
Posted by Helen on March 15, 2010
I vote Helen also.
Posted by Gayle on March 15, 2010
I vote for Seamus, so he can relax listening to music after all his studying!
Posted by Gilly on March 15, 2010
…Difficult. Very difficult. I know it isn’t the most challenging, but I pick Carl. We can make it ridiculously difficult, can’t we? It isn’t the distance, it’sour ABILITY TO OVERCOMPLICATE that is being tested here.
Posted by Danielle on March 15, 2010
I vote for Lizzie as dropping an ipod in the toilet is totally the sort of thing i am likely to do sooner or later!
Posted by Shaun on March 15, 2010
Anna gets my vote!
Posted by Rachael on March 15, 2010
I vote Jorik. Also, if you want to pay for someone to Holland for some of the human chain action, I would like to volunteer for that spot!
Posted by Katie on March 15, 2010
I found deciding between Lizzie and Helen tricky, I sympathise with Lizzie because I similarly dropped my ipod in the loo and I would have loved the chance to win one to replace it, rather than have it be my birthday present for the second year in a row. But then Helen seems a thoroughly lovely lady who I am jealous of for having the tenacity to train and run a marathon (she also made me go onto a translation site, so kudos)
Overall though, I’m going for Lizzie to win.
Posted by Ria on March 15, 2010
I Vote for Anna.
Having grown up listening to music from my parents youth, i only wish someone had given them an MP3 player.
Posted by Ria on March 15, 2010
I vote: Anna
Having grown listening only to the song from my parents youth, I wish someone had given them an MP3 player.
Posted by Juliet on March 15, 2010
Anna!
Posted by Emily on March 15, 2010
Seamus! You have to feel sorry for anyone that lives in the Highlands and anyone that has exams. Although I’m currently in Scotland with exams not so far off so maybe I’m biased.
Posted by Hal on March 15, 2010
Jorik
Purely for the last sentence.
Posted by ElizabethD on March 15, 2010
I think I have to vote for Anna. The moment when a woman discovers she is turning into her mother is a moment of pure horror and self loathing and should be delayed as long as possible.
Posted by Corey on March 15, 2010
Thomas gets my vote. Totally agree about Radio 1. Am available for any relay of the MP3 if it comes to Derbyshire.
Posted by Simon on March 15, 2010
I vote HELEN!
Posted by Jo on March 15, 2010
Helen. She lives in France. What other reason do you need?
Posted by Amanda on March 15, 2010
Anna. It’s too late for me, but we could still save Anna….
Posted by Anna on March 15, 2010
I’m voting for Carl. Selflessness and loveliness win out for me!
Posted by Andrew on March 15, 2010
I vote Anna. As someone who is themselves now in their 30’s and still going to festivals (15th Reading in a row this year!) and gigs, still buying the cd’s and refusing to accept I’m too old, but who has now got a sensible haircut and a proper job, I think Anna’s attitude is to be encouraged.
Just because you’re older and a little more responsible doesn’t mean you can’t still listen to new music!
I say, everyone who gets the mp3 player whilst it’s on it’s route to Anna (or whoever wins) puts their favourite new album on it. That way they’ll have the technology AND the new music.
Posted by Juliette on March 15, 2010
I vote for anyone on the continent as I am sailing to France soon and I could take it! However this could also be a longwinded way of getting it to, say, Seamus. I can’t decide though, rendering this comment effectively useless.
Posted by Shaun on March 15, 2010
Jorik, for sheer challenge factor and a reasonably funny reason!
Posted by Gráinne on March 15, 2010
Helen-nobody should ever have to listen to both 50 Cent and the Nolans in one 24hr period.
Posted by Ben on March 15, 2010
JORIK!
Posted by Zoe on March 15, 2010
My vote definitily goes to Lizzie for her beautiful description of a forlorn MP3 in a toilet. Good luck to everyone though.
Posted by perian on March 15, 2010
I vote for Lizzie, just because of the number of times I’ve *almost* done the same thing.
And hey, if you want to make the passage of the mp3 player really ludicrously overcomplicated, I’m a Canadian who’d be more than willing to pass it along. Come on, I’m sure we could get it around the world…
Posted by max on March 15, 2010
My vote goes to Jorik, mainly because I’m an Argentinian (or Argentine? what’s the proper english for people of my country? and please, no dirty-playing-egocentric footballer jokes, thanks!) living in the Netherlands.
Anyway. Since I know how bad Argentinians (argentines?) with money, travelling abroad can be; and because I love this nice country I find myself living in…. I’m voting for the Dutchman to get back his MP3 player.
Plus I can be a part of the ridiculous journey of the player into Jorik’s hands.
Posted by Clare @clare_10 on March 15, 2010
Carl for the win!!
Posted by Sam on March 15, 2010
Jorik for the challenge factor.
Posted by Hannahluuucy on March 15, 2010
It’s got to be Anna – give her a chance to get her cool back!
Posted by Phill on March 15, 2010
I think my vote goes to Seamus, but there were some very good pleas there! It was a hard choice!
Posted by Sarah (@misswiz) on March 15, 2010
I vote for Helen. I worked in France for 6 years and I know the pain French radio can bring. Plus I think getting the MP3 player there could be very fun. I would happily volunteer for a trip to France if required.
(and if I had a second vote it would be for Jorik, mostly just because his English is amazing – for anyone, let alone someone who isn’t actually British!)
Posted by Nick Jordan on March 15, 2010
Heads: Lizzie; Tails: Jorik
(draw dropping suspence as coin spins through the air)
Tails! (that means Jorik)
Posted by Sian on March 15, 2010
Anna should definately win. Being a wearer of pink hair myself & of an age where the idea of becomming a mum is getting more attractive, I am worried about turning into my mother as well. Not that that’s a really bad thing, my mum’s great, but her taste in music & her “cool” credentials leave quite a lot to be desired. So to save Anna from becomming what I’m scared I’ll turn into I say she should get it & should also dye her hair pink again, pink hair is very good for the soul.
Carl should return his Ipod to it’s factory settings & give it to his grilfriend to fill with her own music. It not olny be a fitting apology for making her rush about enough to have MP3 killed by an exploding water bottle, it would go some way to making sure he doesn’t drive her away for another year
Posted by Someone on March 15, 2010
That is diffficult; god i hate decisions agh. Okay though, I’ll go for Thomas: I too know the pain of unavoidable Radio 1 being played every day all day for months on end – urgh, memories.
Posted by Lou on March 15, 2010
I’m torn between Thomas (shared hatred of Radio 1) and Seamus (shared residence of the Highlands).
Umm. Ok, for my fellow Highlander the vote goes to SEAMUS!
Posted by Steve D on March 15, 2010
Based on your criteria: Seamus. Others have varying degrees of appeal, but ultimately his is the most deserving.
Posted by Paul on March 15, 2010
Jorik. For reasons of excellent humour. And the colourful image of a creepy drunken latin physician in a youth hostel dormitory.
Assuming this isn’t a spoof appeal from Mr Key, Mr Horne, etc.
Posted by DeborahF on March 15, 2010
I vote Anna.
I too lost my cool and even though I own a perfectly functioning mp3 player its filled with uncool music. Luckily I have no son to embarrass with this fact. I have learned over the past 18 months to embrace my uncoolness, but I completely understand Anna’s plight, so she gets my vote.
Posted by Liz on March 15, 2010
Not that the highlands aren’t cool.
Posted by Liz on March 15, 2010
My vote goes to Seamus. And kudos to him for being such a cool 16 year old and living in the highlands. I grew up in London and I definitely wasn’t as cool as Seamus sounds. Well done Seamus.
Posted by gary on March 15, 2010
I think carl gets the edge because he is asking for the mp3 player for someone else,even though its his girlfriend. I am also mp3less at the moment, but i wait for either of my 2 daughters discarding theirs and handing one down to me, with the added bonus i can check out what they are listening to.
Posted by Martin on March 15, 2010
I vote for Seamus purely because I’m assuming you live in London, and he’s the only person who clearly lives North of me thus allowing me to be part of the over-complicated chain of mp3 player conveyance.
Posted by Beth (@Doomed1) on March 15, 2010
My vote goes to Carl.
Posted by Sarah on March 15, 2010
I vote for Thomas, because I too have to sit through 8 and a half hours of about 10 different songs on radio 1 at work (well, I would have to if I didn’t have my iPod!).
Posted by Ian on March 15, 2010
My vote goes to Jorrick!
Posted by Lauren on March 15, 2010
I vote Helen. No one should be forced to listen to 50cent. Ever.
Posted by Charlotte on March 15, 2010
I vote for anna – everyone needs a cool mummy!!!
Posted by Katie on March 15, 2010
Noooo, now I have the ghosty-toasty song in my head!
Anyway, that aside, my vote goes to Seamus.
Posted by Katy on March 15, 2010
I go with Anna, mainly because she mentioned Frank Turner, who I suddenly love due to being exposed to his music whilst on holiday in Istanbul with my mate who looks uncannily like you, Mr Mark Watson.
Posted by Thomas on March 15, 2010
Although I would love to vote for myself, as everyone else should do, I think it has to be Anna.
And you could put some music on it for her Mark to help her along her way?
Posted by Helen on March 15, 2010
Seamus I reckon.
Posted by Kirsten on March 15, 2010
Definately Helen. My second choice would be Anna. I’m not as interested in people who’ve lost/ broken their MP3 players as, although unfortunate, that is ultimately their own fault and they have to live with the consequences.
Posted by cymruangel on March 15, 2010
I would like to vote for Helen, because I have been terrorised by French radio on several occasions.
The most memorable of these was a camping holiday (in the pre-MP3 player days) when it rained for 2 weeks solid and the station’s choice of representative English language music comprised:
- Will Smith’s “Miami”
- the Des’ree song where she rhymes ‘ghost’ with ‘piece of toast’
-”Le Savage Garden”
In between the Euro pop, these three played over and over and over again.
We got horrendously drunk to cope. Poor Helen can’t, as she has to stay fit for the marathon. I feel her pain.
Posted by Siobhan on March 15, 2010
I vote for Thomas. Nobody should listen to Radio 1 unless they really want to, and being forced to, is pure torture! Give the MP3 player to Thomas.
My suggested method of delivery is carrier pigeon, just for the general excitement this would cause!
Posted by Madeleine on March 15, 2010
Gosh, this was hard, but I’m going to vote for Lizzie because I need some good Karma back for the amount of times this has almost happened to me but didn’t… Just stop listening to your ipod on the toilet Maddy! Just stop!
Posted by Kate on March 15, 2010
Anna, because everyone needs a chance to get their cool back.
Posted by Fen on March 15, 2010
Seamus is clearly the only one of these people who can’t actually afford an MP3 player!
Posted by Al Napp on March 15, 2010
Anna gets my vote, the whole not cool anymore thing is a tragedy too far (and so much more seserving that people who have flaunted their luck with an existing player)
Posted by Janice on March 15, 2010
Cmon Mark, it has to be Seamus. He lives in the HIghlands for godsake, and being sixteen and a Highlander takes a lot of doing. Also he is very focussed on life’s problems and this would be a fine example – self-won success! – to reroute is optimism.
Posted by incurable hippie on March 15, 2010
I vote for Helen. French funeral ads have to be counteracted one way or another.