Public joking: the rough guide
It’s Friday. Normally at this time of the week, I make a brazen effort to promote my forthcoming novel (Eleven; it’s on Amazon, but that’s as far as I’m going with the plugging today), but try to redress the balance by offering some encouragement to other writers at the same time. I’m going to resume my series ‘Poorly-Organised Thoughts On Writing’ next week. Today, my focus is on the other side of my little career – stand-up. I shall try to flog the fruits of my humorous efforts and then list some tips for anyone thinking about doing comedy.
Firstly, then, the self-publicity. I am doing a tour this year and the dates are elsewhere on this site and please come and see a show and prop up my emotional wellbeing thank you kindly. Also – a DVD. I’m releasing a DVD! At last. I am one of only ten comedians living in the world today who haven’t done this yet, and there’s a quite powerful fear of failing to sell copies, looking like an idiot compared with certain friends of mine who have sold shitloads, ending up in HMV’s ’20 for £5’ bin, and overhearing someone in WHSmith pick it up and say ‘I saw this guy, he’s shit’. Optimism is my personal challenge these days though, so I’m putting all these things aside and releasing it. It will be a combination of a DVD record I did in 2008 (at the Bloomsbury), and a kind of ‘greatest hits’ show which I’ll do for one night in Edinburgh, and which you might be able to scrounge free tickets for if you go to the fans’ forum shortly.
Anyway, here’s the Amazon link. http://tiny.cc/buythisbloodydvd
It will be quite good, I think. Lots of extras. Lots of jokes, and so on. I don’t know – I don’t often watch stand-up DVDs myself, but if you like that sort of thing, yes, I think you could do worse. Was that suitably optimistic but not too cringingly in-your-face? Good.
And now a little ‘how-to’ guide to the job to which I – almost accidentally, without ever planning it – devoted my twenties. This isn’t just out of the blue: one of the most common themes of the Ten Year Self-Improvement Challenge has been people vowing to give stand-up a go, and several people have asked me for advice. Sure enough, it is one of the most rewarding, but also terrifying artforms/hobbies/ways of getting served in a bar. As with writing, I’m not laying claim to any special abilities by listing my tips like this. There are plenty of better, wiser and more experienced comedians than me (that’s not pessimism, just realism). But I doubt any of them are blogging about it at this precise second. So you’re stuck with me. Hold onto your hats.
- DO LOADS OF GIGS. This is by far the most important tip a comic can ever have. You can be as naturally funny and confident as you like, you can write marvellous stuff in your room, but you’ll be a hell of a lot better with 100 gigs under your belt, and a hell of a lot better than that with 1,000. There is no theoretical advice which substitutes for actually doing it, over and over again (as with many skills in life – football, sex etc). This means taking five minutes on stage wherever you can get it, and not earning money for quite a while. I used to go to Manchester on a Megabus, do ten minutes, get paid nothing, go home again on the Megabus, get in to Victoria station at 6am and think ‘well, I guess this is better than being dead’. But it is worth it. Although…
- DON’T GET DISCOURAGED BY RUBBISH GIGS. …it’s worth remembering that standup gets easier the more you do it, not just because you’re better, but because audiences back you much more. If you go and see Eddie Izzard, people are pretty much soiling themselves with laughter the second he walks on stage. Whereas if you’re in a club in Balham and eight people are there and six leave before you get on, you won’t get much of a reaction. You should have expectations based on how easy/impossible the gig is.
- SERIOUSLY, DON’T GET DISCOURAGED BY RUBBISH GIGS. Sometimes, it will be a perfectly nice club, and a perfectly nice audience, and you still won’t do well. This is fine. It has happened to every comedian who stuck around long enough to get good . There are no exceptions to this rule.
- DON’T FRET ABOUT HECKLERS. 95 percent of people who come to a comedy show do not wish to shout shit at you. Assume the audience are friends, not that they’re out to trap you. And if people DO shout stuff, it will normally be quite stupid stuff and you will get huge credit for saying pretty much anything back.
- WATCH GOOD COMICS AND LEARN. Not as in DVDs; watch people live. My mentors included Chris Addison, Dara O’Briain, Lee Mack, Daniel Kitson, Adam Hills, Emo Philips, Milton Jones. I was still learning from these people even at the stage where I was on the same bill as them. But…
- DON’T GET OBSESSED WITH WHAT OTHERS ARE DOING. Once again, this rule has its flipside; don’t watch so much comedy that you get overwhelmed. You can easily end up thinking ‘what’s the point? I’ll never be as good as that person’. But the same applies to anything in life you could possibly take on. The idea that the world ‘doesn’t need’ another comic is neither here nor there. It’s what you need that counts.
- DO WHAT YOU THINK IS FUNNY, NOT WHAT YOU THINK AUDIENCES ‘LIKE’. This is similar to the above. You see an awful lot of potentially good comedians who are bogged down by trying too hard to imitate Chris Rock/Gervais/Izzard/the last person they saw. The really great comics are the ones that see good comedians, take lessons from it, but then go off and do something that’s all their own.
- NEVER STEAL A JOKE. Someone will always notice and you will get punched.
- TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT. Not things which are in the news just because they’re in the news. Topicality is overrated. Personal insight is at the heart of pretty much anything funny. And lastly…
- IF YOU’RE GOOD, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BE SUCCESSFUL. IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD, YOU’LL KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP. Self-explanatory.
It’s amazing how pompous you can sound trying to give tips on something you’ve only been doing yourself for a few years, but there it is. Hope someone can make use of it. Good luck. It’s a hard old game, the comedy game. But it’s better than working down a mine. And you can still go and do that if it doesn’t work out. Provided you can find a mine.
Posted by Neil on June 7, 2010
As a former miner I would just like to point out that almost everything you could spend your life doing is better than working down a mine.
Posted by Cat :) on March 14, 2010
DVD
Posted by Gabi on March 13, 2010
Thank you Mark seriously inspiering. The notebook I have is filling, and routines are building. These tips are going to hopefully keep me sane over the next few months.
Also dvd preorderd. Cannot wait for Edinburgh. Everytime I think about it a tiny bit of wee comes out.
Posted by Shell on March 13, 2010
I have no intention of trying stand up myself (I’m pretty sure I am not suited to it at all – temperamentally) but I enjoy it immensely and I tend to ‘audience watch’ quite a lot to try to understand why things sometime work and sometimes don’t within the huge variety of audiences at comedy gigs. It was very interesting reading your tips and insights for others.
Posted by Terry Greene on March 12, 2010
Very inspiring post. I recently decided to write a show about all the ancient religions and how they’re better than those of today but I’ve got myself into a dilemma.
I’m not sure whether to make this into an hour long or so show, or whether to try and make into half hour or 15 minute segments and beg producers at radio 4 to do something with it.
I’m very pleased for any advice you give so thank you.
Posted by Vikz on March 12, 2010
Enjoyed your post. Optimism is a hard emotional trait to master. I think it has a lot to do with the level confidence you have mixed in with the faith (or passion if faith holds too much of a religious connotation for your personal taste) of it being even better than your confidence believes it to be.
I also really liked your comedy tips. I have flirted with the idea of standup before, but I think there is probably a huge difference in making your work mates giggle over a pub lunch and engaging with a room full of strangers. How do you know if you’re funny enough?
Best of luck with the DVD release. I’ll be at one of your ed shows this year, even if I don’t make it to the DVD filming one
keep up the good work
vikz
Posted by Lisa Brunders on March 12, 2010
defenately!??
Posted by Lisa Brunders on March 12, 2010
Hi Mark,
Interesting, well written blog, as usual. Will defenately never do stand up, but still interested to hear all about it.
Happy weekend!
Posted by CarlBurktwit on March 12, 2010
Hey again everyone (If this posts twice I’m sorry, computer is messing up).
I write a blog for my local paper and have just posted on all about TYSIC. I’ve been trying to get some more publicity for this lovely project as it’s made me so happy.
I’d LOVE it some people could give it a read and it would be even more smashing if some could sign up to the website (it honestly takes 10 seconds) and leave a comment to promote it.
Let’s share the TYSIC love. I’d be so so grateful.
Here’s the link:
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/yoursay/blogs/5059685.A_Ten_Year_Self_Improvement_Challenge/
Shameless plug over.
Happy Weekend
xx
Posted by CarlBurktwit on March 12, 2010
It’s strange, I’ve always wanted to be a comedian as I’ve always made people laugh, but it’s always in situations that shouldn’t be funny. If I were to stand up in a situation that REQUIRED me to be funny, I don’t think I could.
Posted by Emmy on March 12, 2010
That was a brilliant post, Mark. Thank you.
I second the requests already stated about writing more on how to prepare for gigs, etc.
Posted by Chris on March 12, 2010
I agree there will always be unfavourable critics – that’s just how it works. A comedian simply can’t make everyone laugh, regardless on how mainstream they may end up becoming. I really like Mark Thomas, Billy Connolly, and Paul Merton, but that can’t be true for all fans of comedy.
Last year I saw McIntyre (one friend said it’s the funniest show she’d ever seen, whilst another said it was far too rehearsed), Gervais (a number of reviews found him hilarious, whilst others complained saying he could have been funnier if he wanted to) and Izzard (I love the fact he can do jokes in French, German and in the last tour spoke in the language of a Dinasaur, but that didn’t stop him getting some bad reviews and I was told by staff at Wembley that 400 people walked out during the show).
Posted by Matt on March 12, 2010
I think the first step towards realising that you are a great comic is appreciating how many people read your blog even if they don’t comment. I was in the uni library today and about ten people were sat nearby talking FAR too loudly about this comedian called Mark Watson and some challenge he’s doing. So there’s an idea for you, why not do something like that? It’s working for him.
Thanks again for a great read.
Next entry about how to get published, maybe?
Posted by Ben on March 12, 2010
Thanks very much for the tips, they are helpful, and I feel a bit greedy / ungrateful asking for more, but….
Could you possibly, if you can pull the necessary information from the annals of your mind, provide tips on preparing for your first gig?
How long should you be trying to write stuff before hand, how not to look like you want to puke with nervousness when walking on stage, that sort of thing?
Cheers, Keep up the optimism.
Posted by Sam on March 12, 2010
I’ve done a couple of slots now, (but that was due to me knowing the organisers). Terrifying before hand, but people bought me drinks, so that helped immensly.
How do I go about getting more slots?
Cheers for the advice.
The balance between optimism and realism was good as well.
Sam.
Posted by Amy on March 12, 2010
I just want to say: I love you and you are great.
(Just in case it helps with the optimism thing.)
And also: if I wasn’t a flat broke college student, living on the other side of the world with a region-racist dvd player, I would totally pre-order the DVD.
Posted by Rose on March 12, 2010
It’s the rubbish gigs bit that’s a major stumbling block for me. I am cursed with perfectionism. Even though I’ve got good gigs under my belt, it’s still hard not to think “Yeah, but the next one’s going to be TERRIBLE, don’t do it.” Must stop being so scared of failure that I never do anything.
Thanks for the tips, Mark. I shall be putting them into practise.
Posted by Jude on March 12, 2010
on the subject of embarrassing DVD moments… before he became GG – professional paedophile, Gary Glitter used to do a series of tours of the arenas. Every year it was a Christmas treat for me and my colleagues (being of an age to remember him the first time round) to go and relive our sad youth by dressing up in sequins and vaguely shiny stuff. The year he did the live DVD we were all on the front row and every crowd shot…. yup. There we were, looking like professional tossers – not teachers as we all are. Now, what DVD would a group of teachers MOST like to be seen on…? On an even sadder note, before the stories about him ‘broke’, I was burgled and every cd and DVD I owned were stolen – all but one. Every one’s a critic! So, you see Mark, it could be worse…!
Posted by Simone on March 12, 2010
Really enjoyed your blog today. I don’t think i’ll ever try stand-up, but I love live comedy and it was very interesting to read your advice.
Posted by Hannah on March 12, 2010
Ooh *scurries off to Amazon*
Posted by Gareth on March 12, 2010
Oh, in the spirit of shameless self-promotion on Fridays, lovers of Tim Key may wish to click on my name, and should definitely try to see Party or Slutcracker before they disappear from the West End (not much time left now).
Posted by Adele on March 12, 2010
Even the smallest of plugs has prompted me to preorder the DVD and book. I like pre-ordering things, it’s like getting yourself a surprise present when you inevitably forget you ordered it.
Posted by Gareth on March 12, 2010
“I saw this guy, he’s *the* shit” is a more likely thing for shoppers to say of you. (That doesn’t sound much better to me, but I don’t use street slang).
In my experience, if one pre-orders goods from Amazon and the price goes down between the placing of the order and the product’s publication/release, Amazon automatically reduces the price of the order. This is something you may wish to add to the reasons in favour of pre-ordering your DVD.
Posted by Rachael on March 12, 2010
I’m excited for the DVD, and the tour, and the book. I almost feel like I should try out comedy now just to make us of these tips.
Posted by Misha on March 12, 2010
DVD also pre-ordered. These are going to give me a heart attack in the autumn when money goes out my account and I can’t work out why. Always fun!