Ten-year blog starts today
Hello.
So, I was thirty at the weekend and my first child is meant to be born any day now. By any standards this is a pivotal moment in my life, and that’s before you even factor in Pancake Day. Really, this would be a tremendous time to keep a diary. Then, when I turned 40, I would have a ready-made record of a huge, formative swathe of my life. Imagine it. Aww.
I’ve never done a diary successfully for more than a few months, though. It’s too much effort to actually hand-write things these days; I’ve hardly had a pen in my hand since about 1996. And it’s a lot of work just to produce something which nobody but you will ever read, unless your mum finds it and uses it to pry into your love life – and there’s less chance of that now that I (a) don’t live with my mum, and (b) have gone on record as being married for four years.
This, of course, is why blogging was invented. It’s a sort of diary, but with the prospect of an audience, to satisfy the dreadful, show-off impulse which motivates people like me to get through life. Until now, I have concentrated all my blogging energies on Back Of The Net, the spoof football news feed which I write with my brother, elsewhere on this site. But that hobby has given me so much joy that I’m now hungry to blog about other aspects of life, especially given that some people – though nothing’s been proved – are thought not to love football as unconditionally as I do.
So, from now on, rather than using the ‘blog’ function on this website as a very occasional, slightly unconvincing sales pitch, I am going to treat it with the seriousness the ancient artform of the blog deserves. I will still use it to keep interested parties abreast of things like tours and DVDs, but more often I will use it to keep a record of my life. I might not do it every day but that will be the intention, at least, just like with a diary until you get to about January 8th.
I will continue this until February 17, 2020, a decade from today and four days after my fortieth birthday. By that time blogging and even micro-blogging will have been replaced by universal telepathy, and writing of any kind will seem as quaint and whimsical a practice as making mix tapes or eating Kellogg’s Pop Tarts does today. That will be a good time to stop.
So check every day and see if I am, indeed, managing to do this, as well as the football blog which we will of course continue. I will be monitoring the ‘hits’ and checking to see if people have left comments, like a nervous first-timer on a forum. If all goes well I will be inspired to produce one of the great blogs of this decade. If no-one pays much attention to it I will sulk, pull my website down, and take steps towards destroying the entire internet. Ta.
Posted by #1 aka Cat :) on February 20, 2010
It will be nice to be able to see what’s going on since I don’t get to see you that often!
Posted by Ben Herring on February 20, 2010
I feel I shouldn’t pay any attention to any of your blogging in the hopes that you may destroy the internet which would be at the very least mildly amusing, however since others have pretty much already ruined the chance of this happening by commenting, I’ll just say I look forward to reading more.
Posted by Georgie on February 18, 2010
I look forward to reading about your life in what will hopefully be semi regular blog posts. It may make the time between now and when you next come to Aus seem shorter, which would be fantastic.
Good luck with everything
xx
Posted by Dave Rutt on February 18, 2010
Blogs are funny things, sometimes, and I shall make an attempt to read yours at least once a year for the next ten years to see how you’re doing.
I’ve kept my blog since 2002 (intermittently) and don’t get many comments (because it’s a bit crap) but I do get some click throughs from Google by people looking for “Jade Goody Naked Pics” (and now you will too).
Good luck with the baby. We had ours nearly five months ago and I love, love, love being a dad. So will you
Posted by Corry on February 18, 2010
Looking forward to the next 10 years now. I’ll be 42 when this project ends, so that’ll be 2 reasons to be depressed in 2020.
Can you ever do a normal length project? Like promising to complete a 50 piece jigsaw.
xxx
Posted by Ashleigh Payne on February 18, 2010
Good luck with this
And a preemptive congratulations to you and Emily on your baby!
x
Posted by Brad on February 18, 2010
great concept. Love ya work. You coming to Melb this year for the Comedy Festival by the way?
Posted by Simone on February 17, 2010
Please don’t destroy the internet :c
Posted by Rachael on February 17, 2010
I still eat poptarts.
Posted by Hil on February 17, 2010
I’ve never bothered to read more than a couple of updates on any blog – most seem incredibley self indulgent (and not entirely truthful) twaddle. I decided there was an awful lot being written and very little being read. However since you’re a funny lad and are threatening to break the internet I’ll do my best to keep up to date. Best wishes for the forthcoming birth and good luck with this
Posted by Leah on February 17, 2010
I wrote the diaries of what I can only assume were my fascinating teenage years *in code*. Which I can’t read now. I mean, I know the code but it would take me years to decode and would probably mostly consist of “no-one understands me… What’s the point of it all?… When will I get a boyfriend?” and other such insightful existential angst.
So yes, don’t write it in code. On the upside, it did mean I didn’t have to worry about my mum reading it.
Posted by Abi on February 17, 2010
I feel I should comment, for no reason other than I want to comment on the first day you start your ‘record of your life’…and will hopefully comment on the one in 10 years time, you know, if the world is still around and all…
Posted by Sam on February 17, 2010
I started a blog, and the thing about blogs is people read them. I find checking the hits unnerving as I found out that lots of people read it, and I don’t know lots of people, which means strangers have read it. Why have strangers read it?
Although you’re famous thus people feel they own your private life.
Posted by enthusiastic supporter on February 17, 2010
GO ON SON!!!!
Posted by Steph on February 17, 2010
I miss mix tapes and pop tarts. It was a simpler time. Sitting by the old Pioneer deck pressing stop, start and record, whilst eating a sickly mix of pastry and synthetic chocolate.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Posted by Louise Potts on February 17, 2010
The coming 10 years will indeed, as you say be pivotal. The decade of the 80’s (I am old) was a massive period of change for me. I went from being at school, to college,to working, to marriage, to the birth of my first daughter and ended the decade pregnant with my second. I wish I had persevered with my diary but then without the ease of blogging, it became a bore-as was my life, really. You are different. As now that second dughter is about to make me a grandmother, maybe I should consider this decade as worthy of writing about. Good luck with it all and enjoy your son/daughter. x
Posted by Bess on February 17, 2010
Wow…a blog with proper punctuation and, like, actual words and paragraphs. You’re already ahead of the game.
In other news, your joke from Mock the Week that “We all know there’ll be a bomb on the Tube…but will it be today??” is mine & my sister’s favourite joke ever and we whisper it to each other whenever we get on the tube, and then get weird looks when we crack up.
Posted by Julie on February 17, 2010
I admire your commitment [yet I also feel slightly queasy about it on your behalf]. I’ll look forward to reading your decade – just make sure to let us know how soon the decision to do something purely because it’ll make a good blog post occurs ….
Posted by math francis on February 17, 2010
Sellotape
Crisps
Quorn
Diet coke
A hat
Toilet duck
Posted by Katie on February 17, 2010
Just don’t do what I do – blog incessantly for a month or so, and then upon deciding that you’re going to write the next entry think “this would be a brilliant time to rearrange my socks!” and never get round to blogging again. Or that just might be me, I have a terrifyingly short attention span.
Posted by Kenny on February 17, 2010
*bookmarks*
*commences decade-long stalk*
Posted by Phil on February 17, 2010
I kept diaries when I was younger until I realised that my dad had read them. He didn’t let-on that he’d read them but occasional comments like ‘There’s that girl you fancy’ and ‘by the way that happened to me the first time, too’ gave his prying antics away. So I stopped writing. These days I can write in the blogosphere safe in the knowledge that my parents will never see me type the ‘C’ word as neither of them own a PC or are remotely computer literate. My mother thinks IE8 is a London postcode.
Posted by Kara on February 17, 2010
I shall simply say this: hoorah!
Posted by Simone. on February 17, 2010
I know nothing about football and, as a fan, I feel bad for not reading Back of the Net. I will definitely be reading this blog.
Posted by Tom Element on February 17, 2010
Mark Watson
Posted by Ryan Thomas on February 17, 2010
Any chance of your sending out a tweet every time you post a blog (ew, sounds like a revolting euphemism) ? You could automate it using something like Twitterfeed. It would be easier for lazy gits like me than manually checking – that is like so last decade.
Posted by Arran on February 17, 2010
Please don’t sulk. Or destroy the internet because then I’ll sulk. I look forward to reading your blog!
Posted by Michael Wombat on February 17, 2010
I’ll bet my entire collection of Bury programmes you don’t make it further than three months past the arrival of your first born. What the hell, I’ll even throw in Mrs. Wombat if I’m wrong.
Posted by Anna on February 17, 2010
Ooh, great idea! I’ve been blogging for a few years now, and I can confirm that it’s a great way to get approval. I mean, express yourself. I mean, correct yourself. I’ll put it in the RSS feed reader, that way I’ll be MAGICALLY UPDATED on both your happenings AND your goings-on.
Posted by Gemma on February 17, 2010
Great idea, look forward to it
Posted by SamT on February 17, 2010
Good luck with this, look forward to reading it
Posted by Madnad on February 17, 2010
Looking forward to reading your blog – will add this to my Morning Coffee app on Firefox. Everyday your blog will pop up when I open my browser, so make sure and write something amusing, witty, urbane… failing that, the usual nonsense you spout will suffice.
Love you!
Posted by Lucy Cohen on February 17, 2010
Ah, I am liking your re-invention of yourself as an Adrian Mole in his adult years. Or perhaps a modern day Samuel Peeps?
Perhaps when the robots rise from the earth and laser-beam their eway into our thoughts to try to seize control, enough people will have read your blog to have left an impression in their long term memory, thus scaring the robots so that they run away.
Wow, your blog could save Mankind.
Posted by dawn pearce on February 17, 2010
well congratulations on becoming a grown up firstly!! and the impending birth of your first thing! and on hitting 30, its not the same these days though as compared to people living til late 30s a hundred years ago, i hope you enjoy writing your blog!
Posted by Chrissy on February 17, 2010
Good luck sounds like a good plan, I shall look forward to reading them.x
Posted by MerseyMal on February 17, 2010
Good luck with this new venture. I must admit that I’m one of the folk who don’t like football enough to read the other blog.
Posted by Dean on February 17, 2010
I know how satisfying getting a comment can be, so here’s one to say I’ll be reading!
Posted by Wendy Stephens on February 17, 2010
Good luck with it Mark – you can show it to your 10 year child then!