What a load of rubbish! “An attempt to get a younger audience” – younger audience? They might as well axe CBeebies too – they are trying to get foetuses to watch these days!

My ladyfriend and I saw you at the Soho Theatre last week and we thoroughly entertained, so thank you very much. However, I feel that you should avoid drinking when alone in hotels since it is causing you considerable and avoidable confusion.

Please do not feel unimportant or useless, you certainly changed our weekend for the better, and in answer to your question about what to say to the very sad man on the train, I would have simply asked him if he was alright in order to offer sympathy and his words would have no doubt flown. I was wary of speaking to you afterwards because it’s not a self-contained conversation.

Also, good luck with the kangaroo joke near the end.

Josh

And what about an answer to my point made to your agent about the Welsh accent eh?