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Five find an item together

So – some detective work by one of my readers has turned up the following. It is a Samsonite case, like my missing one. It is red, like mine. It is described as being ‘used’ – like mine, because I put things in it when going on my holidays, like a normal person. The vendor, oddly, does not have the keys. Very suggestive. Could it be mine!?

The answer’s no. It’s not the same one. It’s too scratched. Mine was in relatively decent condition. But nonetheless – this is exactly the sort of work we need. We now have a full complement of Famous Fivers (actually two Annes, but it’s fine to job-share). From time to time I’ll be asking them to report back to me. Of course, the search is open to all. This kind of tactic is what I want to see more of: looking round the internet for completely innocent items and wishing really hard that it was my suitcase. This is almost certainly going to bring us the goods in the end. Or at the very least we should take down a smuggler or eat some macaroons like the Five always do.

More worryingly, though, yesterday’s Comments reveal that we are having a few problems with the campaign to win next year’s Eurovision. Nothing to panic about as we’ve still got most of the year to go, but I’m going to have a bit of a think about this and get it back on track.

Tomorrow’s blog: actual career news (maybe).

14 Responses

  1. Melanie says:

    Don’t forget the lashings of ginger beer!

  2. Misha says:

    Ginger beer will help you find it.

  3. Suzanne aka Senior Watsonian says:

    Love your comment, Helen … when I say it’s slightly egocentric, please don’t take it personally!!!

    Wish I could be Enid Blyton …

  4. Suzanne aka Senior Watsonian says:

    May I retract my wish to be Enid Blyton as she is, in fact, the late Enid Blyton and, although I’m nearly always late, this is one definition I’m not ready to embrace just yet!!!

  5. Helen says:

    I did look on Oxfam online for both a suitcase and suit jackets just incase your jacket had been given to charity by whoever had your suitcase but I found no results. Annoyingly I was away yesterday and missed the blog asking for members of the famous five team, otherwise I would have applied. Could I be an occasional character who goes by the name of Clement?

    Either way, I shall keep looking.

  6. Jen says:

    Wow that’s deep Helen…thought provoking!! :)
    I’m findin myself becomin suspicious of everyone selling stuff on the web at the min…there were two red samsonite cases on gumtree… Both absolutely ok but man, I interrogated the details of both just to be sure!..I better go n lie down!Jx

  7. If I stole a suitcase and was planning to sell it on eBay, maybe I’d scratch it up so that the person whose suitcase it was would think it wasn’t theirs because it was scratched.

    Or maybe not.

  8. Steven says:

    May I suggest that the song used for Eurovision be Mark’s Bouncy Castle song. I think this could be “Eurovisioned” up a bit with some lasers, a guitar solo in the middle and some heavy bass, along with LSG playing guitar in some sort of spandex number.

  9. Lydia says:

    You don’t want to be Enid Blyton, Suzanne! She was scary crazy. Or at least, she was in the Helena Bonham Carter thing.

  10. Rachael says:

    Darn. It would have been too easy. I will continue my quest.

  11. Hannah Q says:

    re eurovision: i actually though the placeholder song josh posted yesterday was quite good – it would appeal to the slightly indie fans of noah and the whale etc etc – i would say there’s not that many of those who watch eurovision but then you’d have thought the same about heavy metal and jazz so who knows! and you could always strobe-light it up a bi t(nb – if that was an existing song and i’m being dim…well…my point still stands)

  12. Sarah (George) says:

    Quick update on the bag situation, I posted details of the bag on a London taxi driver forum. The reaction I had went from dubious assistance, to being labelled dodgy and being called out as trying to infiltrate and damage the trade ending up with the cabbies being really extra helpful. The general consensus is that Mark was actually in an unlicensed Addison Lee with the next punters taking the case (wow, a couple of posts on a cabbie forum and I’m throwing the lingo left right and centre). They find it hard to believe that a bona fide licensed cabbie would be able to find his way to Crouch End with their eyes closed (fingers crossed they don’t actually try this) also the duration did not match, although being a while ago, maybe Mark forgot the exact duration? Anyway the word is out on the streets and they are keeping their eyes and ears peeled for any information. They also rather oddly said if Mark ever needs back up or relief comedians to stand in for him to give them a shout (?).

  13. Stephen Isabirye says:

    Talking of Enid Blyton, “Famous Fivers,” Helena Bonham Carter ( who played Enid Bllyton in an Emmy-winning BBC TV biopic), I am glad to inform you that I have written and published a book on Enid Blyton, titled, The Famous Five: A Personal Anecdotage (
    Stephen Isabirye

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