Here are the lifestyle and personality improvements I’m hoping to make in 2011. I won’t explain any of them at this stage, but you’ll see how they play out over the next twelve months. All of them, in some way, are connected with my TYSICs – many of them with the central goal of being more of an optimist. There are 31 resolutions, or, as I am tentatively terming them, semi-promises. But don’t be fooled into thinking I’m half-arsed about them. Have you ever known me put less than my full arse into anything?
1-Stop losing things, for God’s sake
2-Learn to be more passive about things I can’t change, and bolder about things I can/should. Like in that prayer you sometimes see on tea towels
3-Do shows in at least a dozen places I’ve not been before
4-Eat slightly less red meat, for environmental reasons and to avoid gout
5-Drink slightly less red wine, to avoid gout, liver failure, death etc
6-Also, find at least three new foods I like
7-Give blood at last
8-Stay abreast of the news at all time, rather than just in the 48 hours leading up to appearances on topical panel shows
9-Do fewer topical panel shows
10-Never read anything about comedy or about myself, where possible
11-Fulfil my musical ambitions
12-Have regular massages
13-Stay in touch more with essential people; stop breaking my back for inessential people
14-Do at least six big things for the first time
15-Avoid distractions – i.e. the internet, thinking about football, thinking about self – which squander time that could be spent working or being a good family man
16-Continue what charity work I’m doing, and try to extend it
17-Make the most of having a baby, before he becomes a 12-year-old or something
18-Keep working towards conquering some of my many fears
19-Run once a week
20-Resist becoming too much of a ‘dad’ by continuing to pursue unusual and challenging hobbies
21-Help one person a week
22-Swear just a bit less, just to prevent it from losing its impact
23-Continue trying not to be quite such a blight on Planet Earth with carbon footprint etc.
24-Make no public negative statements
25-(related to 24) See a confidence coach
26-Be bolder with my artistic aims
27-…but, seriously, stop being so competitive. Really
28-Always have my flies done up, where possible
29-Get my head round the Israel/Palestine thing once and for all
30-Save one resolution for the middle of the year, then announce a 30th Resolution based on what has happened so far
31-Above all, try and remember that things normally work out all right.
I’ll begin now.