Hello all, this is Corry (the Scottish one) again.
I am in a position where should I ever need a poster to advertise myself I have some pretty good quotes for it. The latest being from Mark’s blog ‘Challenge! (For While I’m Gone)’ where he calls me his ‘personal angel or gullible fool’. The last quote that Mark gave me was in his ‘Crap At The Environment’ book where he called me a ‘superb producer’ and also a ‘stupid masochist’. He will tend to give with one hand and take away with the other.
These quotes and personal circumstances over the last few months have led me to question the nature of friendships and how we balance what we all do for the people we are close to. We all have someone in our lives that we can call at 3am, drunk and crying and know that they will soothe us with words of wisdom and support… these are the same people that not only remember your birthday but find you the perfect present that you never even knew you wanted. And we all have people in our lives that are constantly late, forget to call, cancel plans at the last minute and yet we still call them friends and are happy to put up with their many flaws because we know that when they do turn up an hour after they said they would they will tell you an amazing story or introduce you to a strange new vegetable wine from deepest, darkest Tibet.
Most of us strike the balance when it comes to friendship. I am terrible at calling friends back when they leave me a voicemail but I’m damn good in a crisis and know where to find wine and ice cream in the middle of the night and at short notice. I have been known to cancel plans last minute, but I throw a pretty good dinner party , I reckon I even out as an OK mate.
The only time I feel like I’m slipping into the terrible friend category is when I am around my ‘perfect friends’ most of whom are called Kate (or a derivitive of it). At the present moment in time I am living at my friend Katy’s house after a recent relationship split. She is one of those people who will give you her last penny (or her flat for a month). The wonder of Katy is her unbelievable energy and positivity, not only making time to be a perfect friend on the wine, ice cream and accommodation front but also finding time to write books, lecture (she is a Dr. Katy), still making enough time for Spinning Classes and to listen to me whine. My attempt to repay her kindnesses with Thorntons chocolates seem rather lame. Hopefully a mention in the blog will go someway to express my gratitude to her.
The friends that I feel at my most comfortable around are the ones that are like me. Normally great at doing the friend thing but sometimes a bit accidentally rubbish. This is probably why I get on so well with Mark, and most likely why he can not pay me a compliment without the added (hopefully tongue in cheek) negative aside. We are pretty much as bad and as good as each other. We have the balance just about right and neither of us can feel shame, guilt or smugness round the other as we have both supported each other and asked too much of each other at times in equal measure. Plus we both have the same opinion that wine is very much the best way to say please, sorry or hello.
Being the ‘perfect friend’ may seem unachievable at times, especially if you are surrounded by saints, but I reckon that perfection in a pal may just as easily come from someone being as scatty as yourself but letting you know you are appreciated and hoping, just hoping that a mention in a blog or a book may make up for all the things they have done for you. And do you know what… I think it does.
Lets just hope Katy agrees.