This blog of mine/ours was mentioned in another round-up of Blogs You Might Consider Reading today, this time in the Guardian (thanks to Misha for forwarding the tiny url link, which unfortunately contained the word ‘poo’, but there you go). As a result of this and other pleasant developments, we have picked up a few new readers and comments keep coming in on blogs from way back. The other day someone posted about phrases and words which wind them up. Remember that one!? Way back in February. Anyway, welcome, newcomers. If you like me, I also have a weekly column in the New Statesman (which you can read on their website); a weekly news blog for Yahoo, which lots of angry, unhappy people write comments on; a football blog which is elsewhere on this site; and a book coming out (called Eleven). And I am touring later this year, so you may well have bitten off more than you can chew by getting interested in me.
And as well as all this, I conduct an actual life, with varying success. Thanks to all those who followed the exchange between me and my wife Emily on Twitter last night, which came about because her phone’s battery had gone. For the people who asked: yes, I HAD accidentally taken both chargers. And I did remember to bring milk home.
Since I’ve mentioned the tour, it’s high time I made another appeal for you, the people of Great Britain, to come and see it.
This is my fourth nationwide tour, but there are big differences this time. In short, the venues are much bigger. This reflects ambition rather than attainment; my management believe I ought to be able to reach larger audiences, become more famous, have more cocaine, whores, etc. Like any comedian I am keen to do these things, so I went along with a very ambitious schedule of shows.
I’m now quite nervous about people turning up to them. A majority of people who know me, know me from TV shows, most of which don’t really reflect my strengths. Doing live tours (and shows at festivals like Edinburgh, tickets for which are also on sale, emotional pressure fans) is not only my main source of income but my main source of pride and professional contentment. They’re the work I believe in most strongly, and connecting with audiences in a looking-straight-into-their-eyes sort of way is as satisfying as my job gets.
So if you are thinking of coming to see me on tour, it would be enormously appreciated. Nearer the time, I will ‘incentivize’ it for readers of this blog by coming up with ways we can meet up and perhaps work the MP3 player’s quest into it, and so on. I like the idea of the tour being a sort of living version of this blog with its interactive elements. And I say ‘nearer the time’ because it is still pretty far off – it doesn’t start till October. But that feels like a short time to me. That’s why I keep banging on about it.
Oops, I have to go. I’ll continue this tomorrow with some more pertinent, less needy reasons why you should come and see me in the autumn. Consider this a ‘to be continued…’ situation…
To be continued
1st
No problem, I have a google alert (I defend this by saying it’s being a diligent admin fairly not a weird)
Very excited for the tour, booked tickets for Cov on the basis I can come home from wales/london/somewhere else (delete as appropriate, exam dependant). Seems to be a running theme that I have to spend at least an hour on public transport in order to see one.
My boyfriend and I already have tickets, but that’s on the condition that you won’t do any “looking straight into” either of our eyes at any point. It would certainly make us feel uncomfortable. Luckily, that’s highly unlikely as we are quite far back.
It would be lovely if it turned out that writing this blog got you more fans, which led to sold out shows, which led to a new series of We Need Answers. I miss We Need Answers. Once, it was transmitted (I couldn’t put two ‘on’s together) on my birthday and I watched it full of birthday risotto.
I would come to your shows if I could. Unfortunately, I don’t live on that side of the world. Glad you remembered the milk.
Cathy
I’m coming to see you in Edinburgh (obviously, I’m not mad – wouldn’t miss that for the world) and I’m also coming to see you on the 8th of February in Plymouth. Your first date back after your Christmas and New Year break.
I must say, you did spectacularly well in scheduling that one. Not only is in in my home town, it’s on my 20th birthday. So really well done. I got my ticket as soon as the date was announced. And I’ll be front row, so no pressure.
I jest. I’ll be there on my own, so if anyone else fancies tagging along for some birthday fun, that’d be lovely. Plus that would in turn help sell some more tickets for you Mark. It’s a Win-Win situation.
And a big “HELLO” to all the new readers. Come get stuck in, we’re not that scary. Honestly. Well, not all of us anyway…
i think i bought tickets for the alexandra, birmingham on the day they went on sale. i’m THAT keen. myself, my sister and my housemate will be there.
very exciting.
I’ve already got tickets to see you in Sheffield and intend on seeing you in Edinburgh too. I’m pretty excited for it.
I will have to join your tour in spirit as my vacation time got arsed up (so I miss all your previews, yet will have to fly home before Edinburgh), so unless I have a wee winfall before the autumn, I’m not going to see you live this year. (But if you know of any worthy shows in/around London during the last weekend of July, please let me know.)
I’m really sad to live in the wrong country… but I can’t justify the trip…
I’m intending to see you in Edinburgh. But I, er, haven’t booked tickets yet (feeling guilty). I will soon though. Promise.
I feel so guilty that I can’t really get to any of your shows, being poor and lacking in mobility. I just want you to know that if I was only one of those things, as opposed to both, I would cross the country for you.
I have tickets for Edinburgh fest and your show in Reading and may bring the Uni’s Comedy Society to it as well.
I’m also determined to see some preview dates.
I know you from your radio 4 programme, which I loved and adored (MW makes the world substantially better). So then came to see you in Sheffield. Since then you’re popping up everywhere, which is lovely!
(Long term reader, first comment).
Good to know you remembered the milk
I’m coming to the Halifax show with two of my friends 
I promise to go and see your show if you bring it to Sydney. If I had friends who lived in the UK I would also tell them to go and see your show.
It is exciting for all the new readers. I feel like they should comment somewhere and introduce themselves properly though 
Well, aaaaaages ago I booked up for the Reading gig, in the dim and distant future of Feb. 2011, to be honest mostly on the basis of the lovely Simone’s enthusiasm for you, as I’ve not seen you on the telly much & she has excellent comedic taste. But then the blog started, and I’ve enjoyed that, and your Twitterings, so I booked for the pre-show show in Newbury next month as well. Also contemplating the book. All in all well on the way to full conversion I’d say.
The tickets to see you in Torquay are on the calendar in the kitchen already. I did this so I don’t forget where I put them come feb- which seems a lifetime away. Front row I think, or row b, but close enough that if I forget my glasses I’ll still be able to see you!
Can’t wait. But have too. So I guess I can actually wait, more wish it was sooner, I suppose!
Glad you got th milk!
I have tickets to see you in Reading next February! I can’t wait
Who designed this tour for you??!!?? The miles you will be spending travelling up and down the country is ridiculous. I am sure in some strange dimension it all makes sense however you seem to be going up and down the country like a pair of prostitutes drawers. Suggest you buy your manager a map of the UK for Christmas so he can plan sensible logical route.
New to this blog, linked in via yahoo. Clicked on link as felt there must be better comments put against you than on that site. All yahoo commenter’s seem to miss understand humour/irony etc. Speaking of comments, I do not read blogs often however (as in the case of Catherine below) notice that there always seems to be someone who post “1st” What is the obsession and point in doing this? Do these people just sign up to every known blog where they can comment, not read article, just post “1st”? Do they have a convention every year where the one with the most correctly placed “1st” comments wins a special prize?
Currently in the process of booking tickets to see you in Bristol with my housemate. When living together in our first year of uni, we bonded over our shared love of ‘Mark Watson Makes The World Substantially Better’ and made others look at us funny by referencing it in conversation. We still live together 2 years later, so I suppose you’re partly responsible for our deep and meaningful friendship. Thanks! Excited, anyway – I’m still a bit gutted that a bloody exam prevented me from visiting you at College Green the other day, so this’ll make up for it.
The milk purchasing was suspenseful – glad to hear you remembered! Also glad the blog got some recognition in the Guardian. Though a first time commenter, I’m a long time reader and it’s quickly become part of my daily internet routine, sandwiched between BBC news and Facebook. I enjoy the interactivity and chattiness; it’s like a conversation with a really interesting mate at the pub. You needn’t worry about filling venues.
I already have tickets for Glasgow in october
looking forward to seeing you in my ‘lovely’ city!
I’m taking my most adorable friend Lyndsey to see you in October when you play Glasgow. I’m definitely going to see you at the Fringe too, more than likely with my pal Elaine (remember when I met you last year? And I was an arse? That was Elaine I was with. She had a great time, so we’re coming back).
I managed – somehow – to get tickets in row D for the SECC. I’ll probably wave or something. Ach, I’ll embarrass myself either way, so sod it.
hello! i’ll be seeing you up in ed on the 5th of august – don’t know if that date’s technically even part of the fringe. i saw the tickets were available whenever it was they came out – one minute was just looking at the website, the next my hand had somehow slipped and i’d bought two. and i wasn’t even planning to come to ed again this year – i still haven’t told my mother (she has plans for a family holiday in weymouth…).
anyways, will look into london tickets also – might even bring my mum :0) xxx
Am coming to a London date in December, can’t remember what it is at the moment, but am bringing my sister. Literally told her, by the way you’re coming to see Mark Watson with me.
And my whole family know about TYSIC and Eleven, (which reminds me, a Facebook status is just about due ^_^)
What kind of milk? Semi skinned? Full fat? Organic? This is what I want to know.
^_^
Unless you plan on coming to Utrecht, I won’t get to see you this time around. That also explains my poor effort on my TYSIC (it’s easy to throw things in the “I have ten years” basket when you have to sort out the “I’m moving country in ten weeks” cupboard, as they say).
I saw you in Aberystwyth last time though, and still have friends there. I’ll get my persuading on.
@knox: I don’t know if you’ve been to Weymouth, but I live there! It’s pretty good to be fair (depends on the weather obviously), though I’ve never been to Edinburgh for the festival, or indeed ever. So I’d probably pick that for the new experience.
I’ve already booked my ticket (and my wife’s, mwahahahaha) for the Ipswich date in November. Looking forward to it! Last year we saw you at a smaller venue (arts centre in Colchester) which was more ‘intimate’ but bigger venues should still be fun
It is abit of a full-time job trying to keep up with you, fortunately I don’t have anything else to do!
The boyfriend and I are coming to the Hammersmith show in December – very exciting! We have seen you several times already and are very much looking forward to an evening of merriment, especially as we ended up not going to the Football Shambles because of illness and injury. Boo hoo.
The way things are with life at the moment, there’s no way I’m gonna get to see any of these shows, but if some of the changes down the road that I’m aiming for actually come to fruition than I may find myself in the UK right around the tail end of the tour. In the interests of maintaining optimism I’ll say see ya next winter!
Interesting to see you had time to blog yesterday but not enough time to do your gig at Ashford. Cancelled without warning. Not a great way to start a tour.
No idea where I’ll be living in October, it’s all dependent on Alevel results. Booking tickets now feels like gambling on getting good grades- if I fail I not only lose out on university but lose the tickets. Wherever I’ll be, I’ll do my best not to miss out on the show!
i’m excited for your tour! tickets were purchased for me as a birthday gift…. i subsequently lost them, but found them just under an hour ago folded inside a nice book… good news all round (:
I posted already but just wanted to say it was a nice surprise to see you looming from the pages of The Observer magazine today!
I’m just waiting for payday and I shall purchase 2 tickets my good man. It will be the first comedy gig my girlfriend will have been to. Make it a good’un!
I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to come and see you in London or not. I want to, but, as I’ve stated before, I get extreme Precious First Born syndrome when it comes to leaving the boy, so I don’t know if I could manage a whole night out that far away. I think you should come to Southend, then I can come and see you. Though that would mean travelling to Essex, and no-one would do that willingly, surely?
I liked the Observer article today, by the way. Although I could never become a full time optimist (not without some heavy duty anti-depressants), you’ve inspired me to stop worrying about this years Glastonbury, which I was getting myself worked up about. I’m in the process of convincing myself that its going to be great, taking a 14 month old isn’t the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever had, and, even if it is a mudbath, I’ve done it before so I know it’s possible to still enjoy it. Besides, even if it is a disaster, it’s only 5 days out of my life so it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
My wife and son did turn up to see you in Ashford last night (5/6/10). Unfortunately you were not there. Pretty poor, especially as they had to travel from Sittingbourne. Thats one 15 year old fan who won’t be bothering in the future!
Another newcomer, then. Thanks to the Observer magazine and the piece about pessimism, which felt awkwardly familiar. And that’s because for me it’s not just an extra skin, but almost a really well-fit one. Reading through, I couldn’t help but notice the similar way of thinking, the certainty that nothing good can happen to me as if ‘goodthings’ is something I’m allergic to – an excellent answer to the half full, half empty issue.
The tricks you mention, simple as they might sound, could really work out once you know… put aside the skepticism of them actually working :\ It was a relief finding out there’s nothing wrong with me being pessimist – this is the first time I actually say it out loud, sort of.
Hope the tour goes well, keep up the good work.
Talking of your live shows, & I appreciate you’ll do so many they must all meld into one after a while, I saw you in Edinburgh in 2008.
At this performance you found that, in the front row, in the seat directly in front of you, was a 7yr old American girl. Despite you checking with her father that he knew what he’d done bringing her it clearly meant you pulled back from certain words & certain punch-lines. You played the situation well enough that the crowd were “with you” in your predicament.
I wonder if this a one-off or does this sort of thing happen surprisingly often to comedians ?
Something worth thinking about on the bigger venue thing:
If you were playing a smaller venue (I live in Coventry so we’re talking Warwick Arts Centre – so the 500-seater Theatre rather than the 2000-seater hall that you’re playing) I’d have booked tickets by now as I figure you’re popular and famous enough it’d sell out. I’d also have a good idea about that as the venue lets you see the current seating chart and available seats before you book.
As it is, I can see that there’s loads of seats left in Butterworth Hall and the show isn’t until October. And money is tight at the moment so I won’t book tickets yet.
Now maybe that’s just me, though it could also be a general trend: “it’s a big room, it won’t sell out, so let’s leave it till closer to the time”.
Don’t suppose there is any chance of you adding the Swansea Grand to your tour? Great venue and you would sell the place out easily.
aha – just seen that i actually commented on this first time round. it was true, too – i’d sort of pledged not to go to ed last year as had to save etc etc, then your tickets went on sale, and it was almost as though i did it without thinking…
this year, i didn’t even bother with the pretence.
looking forward to seeing you again. again.